Are we creating a generation of self-absorbed bullies? || Motherhood In Progress 

People still saying "let the kids have their fun" even though they're damaging their skin barriers and developing massive body image and behavioral issues. We just watched a BABY use a $45 peptide serum and $34 exfoliating toner.

It’s actually fuckin crazy that we’re making it sound like there is something wrong with the CHILDREN and NOT the idiots who are raising them?! We best be blaming our own generation. Not the literal babies. If their parents knew HOW to discipline them or communicate with them or set boundaries with them we wouldn’t have this problem.

You can't show/see the kind, smart, well cared for and well behaved gen alpha kids because THEY ARE NOT ON THE INTERNET.

I've worked with families for a few decades and I've noticed the shift in kids behavior from around 2012 onward. It's been astounding to see how violent children get when you take away their tablets/smartphones. The meltdown is huge and unsettling, and it's not the same as when you take away a kid's toy. It's magnified when it comes to tech. Also, when did hugging your kids when they are upset become something to make fun of? We forget what it's like to be a kid and forget that kids are not little adults.

Shame on these parents. Anyone under the age of 23 shouldn't even have "anti aging, wrinkles, skincare" etc in their vocabulary. It's insane.

Honestly the internet f***s up everyone. It is just worst when they are exposed so young, during their formative years.

I'm an elite volleyball coach, my age group this year was 15 year olds, and let me tell you -- I was STUNNED with the lack of respect for me as an authority figure and the extreme entitlement not just from the kids, but from the parents as well. Whatever the cause is, it's horrible to work with these kids & their families now

I'm a Paraprofessional at a Middle School and work with Gen Alpha. The narcissism and lack of empathy from a lot of these kids is real. You try to talk to them about how their behavior is affecting others and they just look at you blankly, like they never thought of anyone else's feelings before. Their parents made their entire worlds revolve around them, so it's hard for them to understand that the real world does not. It's actually pretty sad.

I have a 2 year old, this convinced me even more that she’s not getting a smart phone until high school. And no phones at school EVER. Teachers should be allowed to collect all phones at the beginning of class. Any parent who argues this is delusional

Unfortunately, they’re just imitating what they’re seeing adults do. We’re raising a generation of children who believe that being held accountable doesn’t matter if it hurts their feelings, a generation of children who can’t read or think critically, and a generation of children who are chronically online. I hate smartphones and social media are deeply problematic. I sincerely hope that this is just a blip and eventually we’ll move away from social media and streaming, and live a more analogue existence. It really bothers me. It’s dumbing us down.

I'm a parent of 2 and I've stopped posting my kids pictures on social media. I have even stopped posting my kids' pics on WhatsApp statuses. My kids (5 and 9) don't have phones and have limited screen time on their tablets. Their schools do not allow cell phones and if you bring it in it's kept in the admin office until you go home. I do not constantly entertain my kids, they entertain themselves sometimes, which means...lots of playing outside and using their imagination. They have limited toys out at any given time. It takes conscious effort to have an impact and raise these kids in a healthy way.

I almost feel that Gen Alpha is learning "love" as a concept through tech. They aren't learning from humans about what love means. So when you take the tech away, it seems to signal "you're taking a parent away from me". I also have a theory that the kids who act out more are showing signs the parent isn't present with them because of their own addiction. And when these kids get to adulthood and things aren't always going to be about what they want to happen, you're setting them up for highly unrealistic expectations and pain.

There is not a chance in hell that I'd let my 9 or 11 year old be an "influencer". Absolutely sickening.

I have three kids. I just want to know how these parents can afford iPhones for their kids. Why in the world would a parent spend that kind of money on something that their child is going immediately drop on the pavement, or leave on a playground somewhere. I know how scatterbrained kids under 11 actually are, and there is no way these kids are not destroying and losing these iPhones.

My take now: my child is not my property therefore they should not be my content. Imagine growing up knowing your most embarrassing life events were on display for all to see. If you wouldn’t like that don’t post it.

I feel like if aliens were watching us from space they would say "oh no. The primates got addicted to OLED screens as entertainment and diet connection."

It's ironic that as more people become dependent on their smartphones (including elders) they inadvertently increase children's screen time. I've noticed that grandparents, unable to be without their phones -- often lend them to their grandkids, despite parents setting boundaries. They feel sorry for the children who appear "bored while waiting." This cycle of increasing screen dependency is concerning ://.

My kids don't have smart phones or social media. It can be done. There's a growing movement against it. I'm currently reading a book called "Opt-out Family" that addresses these problems and gives tips on how to opt-out. My kids are happy and more engaged in the real world.

Mr. Rogers had it right…. No advertising to kids. He would be so sad to see how kids are used to sell Products

As a gen z college student, im so so glad i was raised with respect, and to respect others.

I am 17 and my big brother is 19, we both find internet really addicting and often joke about the internet memes or shit, but from back we both feel really bad for the little kids that consume the same content as us, we find it addicting and somehow stop outselves but little kids dont have the "stop myself" ability. We really feel bad, genuinely

This behavior has always been here, it’s just on display for everyone to see and parents aren’t checking their kids. There has always been a “my son would never” parent and if you have been in the real world, it’s apparent

I've never wanted kids but watching these videos, and watching how people not much older than me deal with their kids, it honestly makes me even more convinced I'm not cut to be a mother. I wouldn't know how to raise a child in this world. The way I deal with social media: I just don't use them. It's easy for me. But how do I explain a 10 year old, whose peers all have phones and ipads with internet connection, maybe they were even raised with them since before they started walking, that they can't have them for their own good? No it's just not a challenge I will ever be ready to take on. I admire every young parent who tries to raise their children with healthy boundaries regarding the internet and social media.

I remember when I was camping with my mom and we were talking about make up and stuff since I had recently gotten into the stuff and she said “when you get makeup don’t put too much on, especially if it’s low quality every once a while is fine” and when talking about skincare “your still young and you skin is still good, when putting on skin care don’t truly worry about it until your 20s and just stick to moisturizer, and don’t put on things like chemicals masks, acids etc, unless it’s given by a doctor or until your 25” so glad she didn’t just buy me a shit ton of products and actually told me what to do instead of slapping on drunk elephant in my face

Although iPads weren't out yet, I was given a tablet when I was 4 years old. At 5, I had my own full gaming set up. Looking back at my childhood now as a soon-to-be 18 year old, I consider myself one of the first "iPad baby"'s. I am suffering from chronic wrist issues, extreme dissociation, and behavioral issues that I have been having to train myself out of. My brother could navigate the Xbox 360 menu before he could speak for fucks sake. I am addicted to my phone now and have been struggling to get away from it. I can't sleep without youtube playing. If I ever have kids, they won't have phones until they're hanging out in town by themselves. This doesn't mean they won't ever be on the internet before that, but they won't have unrestricted access like I did.

I like gentle parenting in some situations but children also require their parents to be strong leaders. From working in childcare I've seen a lot of parents who are too burnt out to discipline their kids. Two income families are exhausted from trying to balance careers with parenthood, and stay at home moms are exhausted and lonely from their lack of a 'village'.

I work at a summer camp for kids 3-12 and it has been a nightmare. The kids have no respect for you and they will constantly laugh and roll their eyes at us if we even dare to say that they can’t do something and their actions will have consequences. The older kids around 9-11 have been especially disrespectful with what I brought up earlier but the younger children 3-8 have been almost worse because they have no respect and don’t respect peoples boundaries and the fact that they have to wait in line for food just like everyone else, or they can’t just take another kid’s things. A lot of kids I work with have so little empathy that they are willing to hit, scratch, and spit at their peers just to get what they want. There is one child in particular that has been awful. He beat up one of my coworkers and threw a metal water bottle at me and my coworker and has spit at me. These kids have been so disrespectful that i want to quit and i haven’t even been there for 2 weeks. It is also the adult’s lack of consequences that have made it even worse. They let kids do whatever the hell they want as long as they don’t break anything. It has been genuinely awful seeing no repercussions for these kids actions until they start breaking things the camp owns

If you EVER decide to get your child a tablet/phone make sure you time it. Don't let the device raise you kid for you, that's alot of parent's mistake. Instead balance it with also pushing them to go outside and not lose their imagination. The other important thing is to ALWAYS MONITOR WHAT YOUR CHILD IS WATCHING. Tablets/phones break the imaginary transition a kid has from being an adolescent-> teen-> adult if they have full control

I think the difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting is boundaries. trying to respect your kid and acknowledge their feelings is good, but when they never hear no for fear of causing negative emotions (which are good and healthy in moderation) the power dynamics flip and the parent becomes a doormat.

another reason why parenting is hard is bc weve forgotten that its not supposed to be a 1-2 person job. children are supposed to be raised by their community, not just their parents/guardians

i'm 31 and got a phone when i was 14, and the main reason was bc i was going to high school soon would not be supervised and my parents could get a hold of me. i think that's a good timeline for our kids, we are having our first this year. maaayyyyybe a flip phone before then but no apps. i want to keep them off of social media as long as possible. hopefully there will be enough other parents who agree so the kids dont feel like the only one without

In the beginning, how is the little girl WHO HASN’T EVEN FINISHED GROWING TEETH, already has skin care?!!! As a teenager, I don’t even do skin care.

6:35 I honestly think kids under 17 shouldn't be on social media at all. There are studies on this and I wish people would also focus on high schoolers on social media. The effects are still just as harmful

I'm so tired of gentle parenting, this week my client's kid punched me and the mum just said "aw honey would you like a sticker?" 😂 then the stickers ended up all over my office floor, I had to stay back after work with a spatula to remove the stickers. As someone who had Catholic Slavic boomer parents. I would have been so dead if I ever behaved like that as a child. I remember going to appointments and having to sit quietly with my teddy and just cuddle my toy as I wait.

Unfortunately, screens are the least of these poor kids' problems...

As a 2010 I'm often called an "old soul" or "special" etc, just because I'm not addicted to social media or my phone, and I'm polite to strangers and my elders. I grew up with a Gen Z childhood and I didn't get a phone until 11 (still young but I was the last girl in my class to get one) and I didn't have an iPad until 9! I'm often seeing kids in my class flexing bad grades or being seen as "brave" or "cool" for not respecting teachers, and I'm seeing kids flexing losing their v-card at 12, 13, 14 and on. So many kids are fucked up this generation and I honestly hate being grouped up with these kids. Along with that my brother, 5 years old, has a tantrum everytime he can't have his iPad, or doesn't get his way. I have no clue how this generation is going to be when they're older but I know it won't be good.

I don't understand why time-outs aren't considered gentle (as a recipient of them when i was little) ?! All i had to do was sit in a corner for 5-15 minutes, and it was very effective without being overly harsh. Did i misunderstand or do people really have problems with that?

Interesting analysis, I do think every generation worries about the next one as children. But this change is so much more than prior childhoods…it’s important to be cognizant of this and try to have a balance of keeping the kids in the modern world while allowing them to be kids like we were.

Yknow, I don’t think I’d be upset if one day the internet ceased to exist. As a Gen Z, I don’t spend a lot of time in person with my friends, but that’s probably more to do with adulthood than screen time (I didn’t see friends often as a child anyway). But I feel so sad for these children, I don’t think their parents realise how much of their childhood is being wasted behind a screen.

I’m gen z (im 22) and realized I gained an electronic addiction over years like I have to be on something whether my iPhone , Mac , iPad whatever it’s like I have to be on it and I could imagine what this new generation will /are addicted to it as well

It's not the internet; it's the complete lack of discipline and basic parenting. Too many of my generation jumped on the gentle parenting bandwagon but missed the part where discipline and boundaries are neccessary for proper social development. I have three kids, and they aren't lawless little jackasses; because we discipline them. Bad behavior has consequences, and it's better that they learn it from me now than the judicial system later. We can love our kids and emotionally connect with them, while still maintaining the role of parent. Good morals aren't inherent- they're taught.

Due to a scheduling mix up at my school, I had to take my art and theatre classes alongside the kids a grade younger than me. It was like night and day. So much disrespect, so much drama, so little awareness on how their actions affect others. They were constantly on their phones or iPads and always were fighting with each other. It was hell on earth, and while I still love art, I’m never taking another theatre class ever again.

I’m so grateful I got to be bored as a child

What’s weird is millennials complaining about new generations of kids as if they aren’t the parents and grandparents of these kids 💀💀

as someone who works with kids I'm worried for their future. my kindergarten kids are going into first grade so soon and they have trouble focusing on a topic for more than 5 minutes. i think the early use of ipads really messes up their concentration span. also some kids have zero respect these days it's crazy.

I'm so stunned about people thinking we need to think about a solution or talk about the problem. What exactly do we still need to talk about? We know what we need to know about social media for everyone. I know I'm posting this on social media. But please, we need to limit screentime. For EVERYBODY.

im a 2011 kid, and yes they are bullies. im autsitic, and chubby which just seems to make them think im a roach or somthing. its really bad

When you mentioned gentle parenting i got nervous you were about to trash on it But i waited it out! I definitely aggree that too many parents are being permissive over gentle Really thought it was about to be a "gentle parenting bad, kids soft, old good" type argument good video!

Commenting for the algorithm. I’m not a parent, but people need to see this.

I live in South Australia and phones are banned in all public schools. Honestly, it is such a massive relief because my daughter is starting school next year. We are not going to give her a smart device until at least she is in high school. I feel like that will be so much easier to do now because she wouldn't be surrounded by other kids with phones while she's in school.

This is a result of the influencer epidemic and also the unhealed parent epidemic. Nobody wants to be seen on screen being "abusive" to a child, whether it's curated content or a stranger in public. If you've posted anything on the internet, you already know that anything and everything can be crafted to look bad, even if it's just unhinged commenters making accusations. If that's not the accusation, it's usually parents using the kids to make money. The wounds we're going to be seeing in psychology circles in approximately ten years are going to be enmeshment wounds, parentified children, and wounds from neglect. Using your children as the "thing that saved your life" is absolutely horrible. You don't have to say it word for word, if your actions imply it. Your children should not be the ones regulating you. Children should not be the voice dominating the household either. Children need boundaries to feel secure. Why else would there be such an epidemic of "insecure" kids, in spite of all the attachment parenting philosophies? It's not just social media. It's absence of real parental protection and authority. There's no boundaries to safeguard these kids. It's so obvious when parents live through their kids, won't give them real structure, or live for their kids. All of these things are damaging in different ways, most of them demanding damaging levels of maturity the child is not developed for. We're also not preparing anyone for the reality of life or the trauma that comes with it. We're just trying not to traumatize our kids. It's in response to our trauma, a reaction to a reaction. Parenting CANNOT come from a reaction space. It has to be a RESPONSE. Giving a child everything he or she could ever want with no pushback is not successful parenting. It's not even kind. It's setting them up for failure, and it's giving them authority they cannot handle. You have to be the one setting the foundation and structure. Heal your inner child with a qualified therapist, instead of using your children and their childhood in an attempt to heal your own familial trauma. Rant over.

That guy talking about how there was a lot of peace growing up in the '90s, that's true. I remember my parents having my aunts, uncles and their friends over and everyone would be eating supper, talking, playing scrabble, interacting with each other. Contrast that to today's day in age, when I go somewhere, work, store, mall, park, art venue, wherever, so many people are glued to their smartphones and it's become difficult to make friends today.

When I was growing up, I was also on the computer constantly. The difference was that I was on art sharing websites / online games like Neopets, AND I wasn't on my phone. All of these websites were engaging in ways that protected me online (though I could definitely still tell when I reacted poorly if something bad happened.) I didn't feel like it took away from my ability to engage with people irl. I feel like I'm all for kids having access to desktop computers, but NOT PHONES!

This was the best analysis I've seen on gentle parenting and gen alpha behavior. I think it is legitimately more difficult for millennials to do this because we grew up with authoritative style parenting. We may legit have to work out our own issues first and then try to parent and assume the role of someone who is capable of being in charge. This is the hardest for me and really shows when my mother is around, I really find myself trying to prove to my mother (who was authoritative) that I can discipline while also trying to conform to today's paradigm of parenting methodology which seems to be "gentle parenting". I'm finding more and more I lean back to authoritative because gentle is just so hard. I wonder if we will see a backlash toward that in the end since parents are so tapped out and behaviors are so bad at the moment. 😊

Unlimited and unmonitored screen time before they develop even the CAPACITY for emotional regulation is absolutely insane. I feel bad for these kids, theyre going to have a very hard time in life because their parents couldn't be bothered with them

I am an adult and I was gentle parented; when I fucked up as a kid, my parents would sit me down and *explain* in (honestly gruesome, sometimes) detail what effect my actions could have on other people. For as long as I can remember, I've known not to be mean to people because I was taught empathy (if someone did this to you, you'd probably feel X, and it would be... so don't do it to others, you don't want to make others feel like that, do you?) from the moment I was old enough to have object permanence. Never a mean word from my parents, but sometimes angry or sad words because well... that was the consequences of my actions. I made dad upset by giving him the finger, do you understand what it means that you did that? You won't do it again, right? No, that's good. Sometimes they probably overdid it in the details and scenarios they spun for me but oh well. Perfect parenting doesn't exist

as an gen z who had their first ipad at age 3 and had unrestricted youtube access at age 8, it truly is so bad for kids. As a kid with opinions i would post them online, bad grammar and typos and all, and of course there would be ppl who disagreed with me and most were not kind, most of their retorts i wouldn't even understand what they meant. i stumbled upon so many disturbing and downright innappropriate videos, ended up being in an online groupchat with older hormonal kids who would send innappropriate memes to the chat, at around age 11 or 12 even started being what i would consider "chronically online" and obsessed with made-up issues and found my ability to socialise severely worsened. At 13 i started reducing my screentime with the help of finding other interests and just maturing in general, people I know nickname me "grandpa" because my screentime is very low and i'm considered not very tech-smart. As a kid one of the most traumatic things that could happen to me was my mum posting a video of me crying online as a "punishment".

I am a children's librarian, and I honestly don't see a lot of this behavior. Some parents are doing permissive parenting, but a lot seem to be doing a decent job with their kids. Maybe a 1 to 10 ratio? But I might be seeing a skewed sample set because we encounter families who value books, reading, and in-person activities over iPads and smartphones (I RARELY see kids solely on smartphones), and one could argue that might make a large difference.

I was born in 2008, got my first Ipad at age 4, and I am a survivor of youtube kids and elsagate. I wish I could say I turned out fine.

The guy talking around the 14-minute mark hits the nail on the head. The peacefulness that millennials could experience growing up has now gone. These quiet moments throughout the day when there was no-one around and where you could just relax your mind were priceless.

Thank you for differentiating Gen Z and Gen Alpha. As a Gen Z I’m SICK of hearing people conflate us. We have our own issues that have come with growing up with technology, watching our parents struggle through the 2008 recession, social media taking over our adolescence, and coming of age during the 2016-2024 elections and of course, the pandemic. But we are now learning how to navigate young adulthood. Gen Alpha are being set up for even more struggles and there is still time to nip it in the bud and help them learn to regulate emotions, develop relationships, and prepare better for adult life.

trust me, it’s the parents. half the parents i’ve met or worked for don’t want or regret having their kids so they just don’t try and let the internet raise them. they treat their kids like shit so the kids adopt that since it’s all they know. it’s rly sad and disheartening. i really hope their generation has a shift and becomes aware at some point bc their parents don’t seem to be doing it for them :/ ps i have met some good kids. the family i babysit for right now is a diamond in the rut and they have two little angels. some good families still exist!!

Is anyone else here not a parent but still finds her advice very valuable?

I would like to say though, that in a way, teachers are upset but they drove this. We had gotten told off SO much for being “typical children” - our breaks were about us having to be “mature” and not allowed to play silly games, that we were too “distracting” in classes, that we escaped into the only thing we could escape to; internet and social media. And now those actions are causing a problem with phone addiction. I’m 27, but I remember going to school 2009-2015 the most and that was a huge shift in technology, which absolutely was driven by the amount of things we were told we COULD NOT do. Don’t talk, don’t disturb, don’t draw, don’t pass notes. Don’t go out. You’re grounded. Don’t climb trees. Don’t eat fruit. Don’t x y z, because “child safety” - it drove us into online life even more. Now people are too afraid to be “normal kids/teenagers” because for years adults, education and government made it seem bad. We had to change because we were forced to by our society that couldn’t handle us. They took our third spaces away. We had nothing else to do but seek safety with one another online. And they took away most chat games nowadays too, so younger kids don’t have stuff like club penguin etc etc etc anymore either, to safely socialise without being in adult spaces. It’s sad.

I am a young Gen Zer and my parents raised me with very little screen time. In 2020, when I turned 13 my parents gave me a phone to connect with other people which was very helpful. Despite that, I am grateful I wasn't online as much as my peers because I believe it helped me become more well-rounded and mentally sound. The online world is great and I spend a lot of time there, but young-young kids have no place being this online.

i was born in 04, and i’m on my phone a lot (i’m on it a lot less since i stopped using tiktok) and i don’t understand how people just sit on their phones all day and enjoy it. i go crazy when i can’t see my friends for like a few days 😭😭 i get that not everyone thrives off of social interaction, but i think the access to technology is apart of that

I remember having meltdowns when my iPad was taken away (I first had one when I was 13), because a) I didn’t know when I would get it back b) I didn’t know how long I’d be allowed to use it for and c) I was afraid of missing out on stuff while it was gone. Yes it’s addicting, and I know because I was glued to that screen - but having clear rules set around it and communication would be huge. “You can have it at this time of the day, these days of the week, for this long” would make a big difference. Not only does it make it clear to the child that they will have some time dependably to engage in entertainment that they like, but it also sets clear boundaries for when they should be doing other things. (As an older sibling, who’s now an adult - I know it’s not simple or straightforward, but it’s a start)

I am planning on raising my kids to respectfully question authority. I was heavily abused and constantly bullied by teachers growing up for being a poor kid born out of wedlock in a hyper religious community. It has taken a lot of work to learn that they were wrong.

Rule 1 as a parent: there is no "negotiating" - that is how things get out of hand. At a certain point, the answer is "no."

Hi! Late gen Z (born in 2009, I'll be 15 in a month and a half) here. I wanted to give my own perspective on things as someone who's experienced both ends of the spectrum (violent parenting vs permissive parenting), and as someone who has been given a screen to use since I was very young, around 3 or 4 or so. I think it's important to get out of the way first that my own views will be slightly skewed due to trauma (that isn't mentioned in this post) and this will definitely not be everyones experience, and that I'm terrible with boundaries so I apologize if I overshare or anything. Edit: I'm also physically disabled and have a birth deformity, so like I said my experience will be different from others. I've been on social media pretty actively since around 9, but I've been watching youtube since around 6 or 7. Being on social media that young (especially without restricted internet access) can definitely mess you up, and I've already seen things I can very likely assume I should not be seeing at this age. It's definitely affected my development in some way, and it's very hard to undo now. My doctors already want to test me to see if I have any personality disorders, despite me only being 14. That being said, they do mostly want to look at cluster C (specifically AVPD and DPD), not anything like NPD, but I've looked at the diagnostic criteria NPD (I have an interest in psychology) and I fit around 7 of the 9 criteria, so I'm definitely not exempt from this narcissism epidemic or whatever it is. Though, I have found many of my interests through the internet, like classic books (my favourites are Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, 1984, and The Picture of Dorian Gray :3) and music for example, as well as meeting many friends on there. I should also mention that my mom thinks I'm autistic, though I've been tested twice for it and it's came back negative both times so we aren't really sure. 🤷 The different parenting styles thing is also something I should go more in depth on. For context, I currently live with my mom and stepdad, and my mom and dad divorced when I was around 3 or so. I'm also my parent's first and only child. My mom is a permissive parent, and I could argue possibly even neglectful, as I'm not being taught any skills by her. Like, _nothing._ I don't know how to set up my own bath, I didn't know how to actually bathe properly until yesterday (I had to ask for help from an online friend), I don't know how to take showers, don't know how to cook, clean, or anything else I should at least know the basics of at this age. She shows permissive behaviour, as I never really see my mom putting her foot down with me. On the other end of the spectrum, my dad was fairly violent with me as he's had a couple of CPS reports on him, and my own violent behaviour is likely attributable to him. Sorry if that isn't a lot nor doesn't give you enough insight to my own perspective I'm just trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't share lol ;-;

I was a permissive parent. Thank god my ex husband was far more authoritarian. One day my son was 15, and he told me to eff off. I stood there and took it. But my ex husband overheard it, and busted in the living room, pushed him against the wall, got right in his face and said something like "I better NEVER hear you speak to your mother that way again," and then he threatened him. The kid never did it again. Hes all grown up now. Both of my son's are and theyre great adults. Responsible af.

Whatever happened to just giving your kids flashcards and coloring/puzzle books to engage them?! My parents would have drawers full of those to keep us occupied (other than telling us to go outside). 😭😭😪

Black Millennial parent here, gentle parenting for so many of us is more so we not whooping them out of frustration and stress. Breaking generational traumas and cycles of abuse but also being mindful that your child is not a tool to heal yourself. Idk I feel like millennial parents get a lot of heat because of the parenting style being portrayed and the influencers portraying it. I feel like what people are seeing is performance and not really parenting, you are still an authoritative figure in their life .

Name a generation that isn’t self absorbed bullies. This generation hate IS self-absorbed bullying.

This is why I don’t let my kids on social media, iPads or even connected games. Their first phone will be a dumb phone and I say all the time they will not have social media until they are 18 and out of the house. Luckily where we live is a pocket of a lot of tech people (my husband makes apps) and as many of you know, parents who work in tech don’t let their kids use it. So it’s very normalized not to have kids be on social media or iPads in our neighborhood. Also we have a lot of computers and vintage game consuls, my kids still get a decent amount of tech. On the other hand, the crapping on the younger generation and the new parenting styles is so cyclical. Don’t fall for feeding into it, so many of these people are rage bating. Of course there ARE problems with kids and parenting, and they need to be addressed, but don’t fall for the rage bait either

I just started working in schools and the actual depression I felt walking through the school in the morning and seeing all the kids just silently scrolling rather than talking about their weekends and joking around with each other. Like I don’t even know what emotion I was feeling I just felt sad and sick to my stomach. 😢 they don’t play anymore or make those friendships….it sucks.

As a gen X parent I saw a massive personality change in my husband when he got his first blackberry we need to step back and consider how it changed our brains/parenting. It took his mild ADHD and put it in overdrive that continues to this day. His emotional regulation is much lower at 47 with his iPhone than it was when I met him at 21. He can’t see it because many people in his field have had the same change which includes my brother in law who did the same thing. Technology didn’t affect me or the kids in the same way it did him. We weren’t early adopters and are just wired differently(my kids got iPads much later than their peers which I think helped them)

I taught gen alpha (I am gen z myself) kids in summer camps and while there is a conversation to be had and major concerns as addressed- but there are some gen alphas that are so smart and have the power to learn. I feel like putting them in a box of "iPad kids" does them a huge disservice, because if we dehumanize them as spoiled iPad kids, then we loose the empathy we need to be able to help them.

I feel like, as a later Gen Z, that I hit a sweet spot. Technology in my life as a child was usually used to bolster my social relations in real life. I remember spending long afternoons playing Minecraft or Animal Crossing with my friends, or filming RU-vid videos of our stuffed animals (that we never even posted.) It hurts to see that technology is isolating for children instead of bringing them together.

Because I'm old school and half Asian. My kids are disciplined, good at school, minimal junk food, no social media. Not even Tiktok. No phones, my eldest is 11 this year and might get a button nokia if he's lucky. I am a millenial who was brought up by an old father who was 72 when I was 24. I was his last chance so he mentored the shxt out of me and my mother had asian high expectations... which I didn't meet and it sucked, I would've thrived if I had present, less materialistic, a not narcisstic and emotionally supportive set of parents who didn't fight every day... so I just learned what not to do from them.

So changing everything we've been doing for thousands of years is changing kids... 🤔 who would have thought??? 🤦‍♀️

It’s gross how my generation who have been neglected by our own parents didn’t grow up become parents and say I wanna do better. I did but I don’t want my kids struggling like I did but the cycle continues with many. Also these older kids are gen z.

I really enjoy your video essays! However horrifying 😅 I swear I got out of college in 2013… went to work… and kept my head down until having kids in 2021. lol because everything that is going on is shocking to me. Not even just social media. But I once posted asking about finding my style in my 30s as a mother. Just wanting to be put together as an adult and not a bum. And everyone came at me like I was mom shaming. I was like I want to look ok when I answer the door. And they’re all like “who is knocking on doors anymore?” I’m genuinely in some weird dystopian world that I didn’t even realize I was living in until I became a mature woman. It’s so sad and scary.

Maybe seeing the problems in our own generation and gen alpha, we can reverse it for gen" beta" or something. I remember the time before cell phones too, just talking to kids in class, i prioritized going outside. Until middle school, and i still knew social media was a bad idea and didn't get on it. I already had self esteem issues.

I still remember using VHS tapes and my parents’ flip phones. No one was addicted to phones back then

I will admit, I am probably way younger than the target audience of this video, but as a person who's gone through REAL gentle parenting, (with a biiiit of spanking here and there) I am so grateful my mom raised me this way. From a young age I learned about consequences and cooperated because of my mother giving me the illusion of choice. Then, as I grew older, she gave me actual choices to make myself, making me feel independent. I too, am able to scout out kids who've gone through permissive parenting in my own class, and I really really hope something can be done to reverse it's effects.

KIDS DONT NEED PHONES! They don’t need iPads. They don’t need unrestricted access to the internet. They need activities to engage with their peers. They need parents who are present. Don’t give me “I am busy” excuse because there is no way I’m letting mine just melt their brains away like that.

Gentle-parented, older Gen Z here. Although my parents have always been very supportive and catered to my every emotional need, my mom and dad always drew some boundaries to me and my brother. There was no screaming, beating, but there was a space for me to see that life isn’t so happy go lucky all the time and my mistakes and disappointments are pivotal to my development, even though I’m suspected to be neurodivergent and my emotional regulation has always been a little… singular. Yet, I’m grateful that despite all that coziness and gentleness, my parents knew when it was time to draw the line. Gentle parenting, at least from what I’ve experienced so far, is about balance and knowing when you gotta intervene, cuz leaving your kid running wild and being basically their servant is gonna cause more harm than good.

4-Chan really messed me up when I was a 7 year old. I can’t imagine it’s worse than that.

I didn't get a phone until I was 13. And even then, it was one of those prepaid phones. I didn't get my first smart phone until I was 15 or 16. Seeing these kids getting smart phones at 5 years old is so unfathomable to me. Especially since the only thing that I wanted when I was 5 years old myself was the latest Barney doll. Then again, smart phones didn't exist when I was growing up but even then, I still think it's ridiculous that these parents are buying smart phones or skincare when some these kids aren't even 10 yet. Edit: Heck, when I was going up, the internet was still new.

Ignoring unwanted behaviour is honestly underrated. There are times when staying calm and letting your child be upset works really well. The problem is that in the West we feel like we will be judged harshly if we let our kids do that out in public. We're expected to have a quick fix for our child's behaviour.

when i was in middle school, my mom flat out was concrete on my screentime. one hour a day. like literally she doesnt budge on screentime. she takes my electronics at 10pm everyday (cuz im in HS now and need it for hw and stuff). and guess what. i still love her and she still is the nicest parent ever (encourages me, supports me, tells me shes proud of me with grades etc). she has clear set boundaries that were set when i was a teeny human which helps me understand why she was so concrete on screentime as i have gotten older. have i cried over her taking my computer away after 1 hour. of course. but im super grateful to her now for doing it.

It’s the parents fault.

I’m 16 and got social media at 9, can confirm it fucked me up but also had some upsides? I’m autistic, and was really isolated because I was the weird kid, so fandom spaces really let me be blunt with myself and stop hating myself for being the token girl in a gamergate edgy boy friend group who’s only there because they can get away with saying horrific shit about me On the other hand, was groomed, 0/10 would not recommend I don’t think social media really messed me up in the same way neurotypical people are, I’m just scared of everyone hating me or thinking I’m annoying in general

The more I watch videos like this the more I realise me getting a phone early really fucked me up. I'm not narcissistic, but rather extremely antisocial and have nonexistent self-esteem because of social media. Really wish I'd gotten a smartphone later.

i think one of the best examples of a parent to gen alpha out there right now is mommacusses. honestly, she’s the only thing that makes me think “hey, i could probably be a parent some day.” she’s realistic, she does “gentle parenting” but it’s more reactive and empathetic to kids emotions. she gives her little ones the space they need to yell and scream, then help them realize what the problem is. she doesn’t show her kids online. she only shows her teen, who has consented to being online. she recreates scenarios in a very funny way to emulate her kids, too.

This new MIP, the one after your second baby, is so good, so interesting and so on point! Thank you for the thorough research work and the effort you take to be as objective as one can be i enjoy every video and it gives me things to ponder about

I see reams of children with zero distress tolerance skills or ability to cope with adversity. My parents were really tough on me growing up and it sucked at the time, but it truly did make me a more resilient person. I'm afraid of what Alpha is going to be when they're older.

20:28 THANK YOU!!! I'm so so happy that someone finally adressed this. I've been so annoyed by people who have been critiquing "gentle parenting" but all they've been showing was permissive parenting! Like in the previous tiktok. Gentle parenting is one of the best parenting styles but it gets so much bad rep by getting conflated or mistaken with permissive parenting.

Well…yes, and it’s sad. I’ve been struggling and fighting in order to create a world where we can all be empathetic and kind. Nearly everyone can change, and I have experienced it myself. The earlier that happens, the better. It’s so sad to just sit and watch my dreams are fail. But then again, with a lot of work, the world CAN change.