I'm glad he specified the wife got her own utility knife cause I genuinely thought he meant she got her own poop knife, and I didn't even question it 💀
This was actually super common among opiate users back when i had a habit haha, not popping then having massive pinecone turds you couldnt poop out, like a bunch of hard pellets in a giant clump, and had to break them up on exit to be able to poop them out, and try not to clog the toilet
My dad & aunt are poopknife survivors. Grandpa was a small town depression tightwad and that meant two things: 1) lousy water pressure and 2) a starchy diet. Put 'em together and that's a standing order to use the poopknife.
All it takes is some oatmeal or fruit, some of the cheapest foods out there if you can't afford it then you're so poor you probably won't last much longer
@@ryanclemons1 I really hope you read this: You spend money on things that contain no bioavailable micronutrients, leaving you hungry again a few hours later. If you spent your money on natural foods, you’d eat less and remain fuller for longer. Refined foods, food that comes in boxes and plastic bags, are both NOT cheap and provide NO nutritional benefits. You absolutely CAN afford to eat right, and if you don’t, I promise you won’t be able to afford to be sick later in life.
What's even funnier about the whole situation is that this whole situation is something that's seemingly a "Guy's problem", yet it's instead a GIRL who's the one in this shitty position! Totally unexpected!
I wouldn't have believed this story if not for a single event back when I worked as a public toilet cleaner in 2015. Someone managed to shit out a single circular piece of shit the size of an infant's head. I tried breaking that shit up with a toilet brush and then a plunger, but it just wouldn't come apart. I then had to just use my big rubber gloves to break it apart by hand. Shit was wild.
@@orchiddolls3476 I mean, it was the job. And out of 4 months of working there this was the only extreme event (well, outside of a dude puking because he saw another dude who puked all over the stall, or countless "shit all over the toilet bowl situations). It was mainly a super chill job that also paid $10/h, while all of my friends got ~$7 at other jobs
My mom who is in her early 60's has wanted to "invent" a mass produced 💩 knife for years. I want to gag and wonder wtf is wrong with her anytime she has mentioned it over the years. I thankfully take after my dad's side. Edit: she's gonna be sooo pissed that someone else manufactured it 1st! I know what's gonna be under my Xmas tree this year😂
They say everyone in their lifetime has a million dollar idea but not everyone acts on it. Sad your mom could have been rich if her family believed in her instead of shaming her
Please tell me you've already ordered, received, wrapped and hidden your mom's most memorable Christmas present ever!! If you haven't, it's time to get on the ball! Halloween shit just hit Walmart shelves. You are running out of time!!🤣🤣 Seriously tho! Hurry
The weirdest part of it for me is the fact that the people in possession of these poop knives don’t keep them in the bathroom. Why wouldn’t you just shove that thing in a bag under the sink? Why leave the option open for someone to accidentally use it for something else?
The WORST. Feeling like you've run a marathon, and then the toilet roll is half the size it was before you went in. I take the Pill everyday - no breaks, because the Week Off stipulation was made up to appease the Catholic church - to avoid (most) of the worst moments. But pray for me when I miss a day by accident. 😢
Or on certain toilets... I have a toilet in the front room and, yeah, it requires a poop knife for anyone. I just doesn't flush well. So I just use the back toilet.
As a period haver, I can safely say my period poops are normal (I think) sized buuut the cramps are gnarly bc apparently sometimes the contractions that help shed your uterus get mixed up and make your intestines contract instead 😅
I'm in my early 40's but I still remember this like it was yesterday... When I was about 17, we were in a Burger King eating. Like 10 of us. The girls went to the restroom & immediately came back out laughing & hysterical. They said the largest shit they'd ever seen is in the toilet in there. They told everybody to come in there & look. I didn't, but some guys did. They all came out saying it's no joke the largest shit ever seen before. I still didn't go in but other people in the restaurant were now interested & they went in. Like another 10 people went in there to look. EVERYBODY came out saying that's the largest shit & it can't be from a human... Let alone another female. A female comes out of the bathroom eventually & says it was, in fact, another female because she just got done shitting herself (in the toilet not her pants) & the girl next to her pulled this one off, err, dropped it, not pulled it. Someone took a pic on a disposable camera & I never looked at it until like 6 months later when the film got developed. The descriptions were correct. That day it was quickly nicknamed "The brown rhino horn". This thing was CRAZY lol! I ONLY wish I could say I had seen that thing with my own very eyes! It was like, no lie, 15 solid inches & like 5 inches round! It was all the way at the bottom of the toilet standing straight upwards & was so thick it couldn't go down. Then it stuck like an ENTIRE foot up out of the water & came to a point like a rhino horn lol! One girl almost sat on it lol! You COULDN'T have sat down on the seat WITHOUT sitting on it meaning whomever laid this had to either stand up during the act or hover above the rim the whole time. I wish I would've seen the woman that shat that thing out just so the story & the mystery could be complete.
@@absolutefoot4594 This was so long ago lol that I can't remember who had it last. It would immediately be called out as a fake lol. I'm going to be moving at some point this year. If I come across that shit when settling into the new place I'll be back with the link.
the poop knife you can buy looks like the silicone spatula i have for cake frosting. fun fact about silicone kitchen tools, their main drawback is that they trap odors
I walked into the bathroom at the supermarket one time and there was a roughly 16 inch long by 4 inch wide shit that was so heavy it didnt even move after repeated flushing and it was one of those super powerful water jet toilets. That thing had to be like 5 pounds. Ill never forget it. Looked like someone gave birth.
Opiods! They clog your system up real good...and the system of whatever bathroom you're in when the hellspawn finally makes for freedom. It's especially bad with addicts. Depending on the neighborhood the supermarket was in, there might be a good chance that was a junkie's most recent adventure.
@r.a.fgattaiguy845 yeah, or how it prison, shanking someone "Jamaican style" means covering your shiv in shit, so when you stab someone, the wound is guaranteed to get infected and maybe kill them with sepsis. Sounds like something cartman would do.
If I had a nickel for every time Justin covered a Reddit story involving someone unclogging a toilet with a household appliance made to cut things, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
When I think of poop knife, I have a memory of someone in prison making a knife out of poop and freezing it so the knife was solid. And then using said weapon to effect escape from confinement. This story was told to me by a teacher in the mid 2000s and i had no reason to think he was lying.
Back in the day I went to a public bathroom at a grocery store, and had a sighting of the worst poop situation imaginable. In the toilet was a giant shit, but I've seen those before when I cleaned toilets. This one was covered in blood, and there was blood all over the toilet like a horror movie. It had to have been almost a liter of blood with a shit the size of a forearm. I took a picture of it, and for a few months I would surreptitiously change my friends wallpaper on their computers when they weren't looking. Unfortunately the photo is lost to history along with the old flip phone I took the picture with. Nowadays as a "mature" adult, whenever I think about it, I just hope that person got medical help, it was that bad.
The poop knife 7 Damage Poopcurse II (Poopcuse effect) When used on an enemy, makes them shit uncontrollably. (Critical effect: bleeding) Applies bleeding if the attack was a crit.
Whang, my sister once asked for your name with “that good looking poop stories RU-vidr with the mustache ..” and I did everything in my power to defend you!! So this video really isn’t helping my dude!!
Growing up, we had the Vomit Spoon. My father would always be hung over on weekend mornings, so he kept a spoon on the back of the toilet in a glass cup. We all knew not to touch it, because it was the spoon my father used to gag himself to cause him to vomit to help with his hangover. I remember being puzzled when mentioning the Vomit Spoon to my friends and them having no idea what I was talking about, because I just naturally assumed that it's something everyone had.
My grandma had a teaspoon as a vomit spoon but it wasnt for hangovers as she didnt drink, never learned what it was for as she died a few years back. Very confusing to be honest lol
The poop knife sounds like it would fit in that weird blood filled children’s book genre Edit: I had a bad first impression of it so I think it would be more likely to be a family guy cutaway joke about someone hurting themselves on accident with the poop knife because they thought they had to cut it as it came out.
@@tcswed I found this strange genre of children's literature that's full of dark ideas and gore. Some examples of this genre are watership down, warriors, owls of ga hool, wings of fire and there's probably more of these weird things out in the wild that I don't want to read because they're probably aimed at edge lord pre teens.
@@robbycooper6787aybe you shoupd read those because I found very little to no connnection in titles you used as examples. Watership down is just a story about rabbits in the wild. It was not written to be gore, nature itself is just full of death. Warriors and owl one from what I found are war analogies so I don't really think children are target audience, same with the last one being just another fantasy setting. You made it sound like all these works are happy tree friends edge for sake for edge and that simply is not the case.
This is one of my favorite stories... I remember the original post and laughing my face off at the fact that this poor guy went his whole life thinking that it was a normal thing to do. Thanks for covering it, Whang!
@@lep99 Which is equally incredible to me tbh. A company has got to be at least a bit brave to sponsor content like "Blowfly Girl". Dont remember if that one was sponsored but its a good example
When my sister and I were growing up, we had "The Poop Stick" instead of a knife or scissors. My family and I loved toilet humor and laugh about the "logs" or "loaves" that were too big to be flushed and had to be broken up. My mom would say, "You have to start eating better. Not so much fast food, bread, or sweets!" She'd be laughing about it at the same time!
I have a poop skewer. (We use it to break up the poo in the toilet, not to skewer it). Our poos are not hard enough to necessitate a knife or scissors.
It's much easier to use a coat hanger. They work just as well and nobody will notice them go missing. Also, if they are dropping thick logs, they are just holding it in.
LOL the whole time I was so impressed by this because I couldn't stop laughing listening... I have no idea how he said that without laughing! That is a talent in itself that I do not have!
As someone who's brother was always leaving massive clogs in the toilet I can assure you this would be a useful thing to have. Most people just cannot master the subtle art of unclogging a toilet.
I used to work for a daycare center for about 3 years, and I sort of had an incident like this. I had a young boy (probably 4-5) who used to take massive craps. So massive me and a bunch of other employees had to use a butter knife from the kitchen to cut it up into pieces so it could even flush. Never in my life did I think a child to do that.
I casually go to tell my wife about these crazy tales from the internet, and I see the look of abject terror on her face and realize my mind is a cesspool 😂 You have warped my fragile little mind.
I had a neighbor who bought a really old farm with an old farm house. Over the years the farm house had been "upgraded" with things like electricity, gas, and a septic tank. My neighbor had slowly over the years gotten things fixed (replaced asbestos and newspaper insulation with something less cancerous and flammable, changed the wiring from 1800's with tar impregnated cloth insulated wires, etc). It took a few years for land line telephone to reach him. He seriously paid his other neighbor to have a second phone line installed and ran nearly a mile of wire to his house. I'm talking very old and very rural. The last thing he was able to "fix" was the septic system. The old system was working but the code at the time it was installed was still new and missed important modern features (like 1/4 inch per foot downgrade to improve drainage, use 6 inch pipe instead of 4 inch, replace the leaky terracotta pipe that has bumpy joints with modern, jointless and slippery PVC, etc). The sewer system was the most expensive thing. His family had no issues after the upgrades but until they were done he had issues with the sewer system backing up or getting plugged and calling a plumber out too many times to clean it out of tree roots and paper stuck on the terracotta pipe joints. To help prevent issues he had a poop knife that was used to break everything up into smaller chunks that wouldn't overwhelm the ancient system.
I was a custodian at a high school for a bit. There was a kid that would lay logs and just leave them in the toilet. Pretty much every custodian at the school would encounter them in different toilets. It was insane. I had no idea that it was a thing that people could make.
@@CaedusDeorum The same degenerates that throw the packaging and used vapes on the street, young folk in other words. The streets near me are constantly clogged with empty vape packets and discarded vapes (which they always smash) highly irritating and god knows what it's doing to the environment having burst batteries every where.
Thankfully, I read the poop knife story a couple years before having hernia surgery. They did something to my bowels while they were in there. Ever since, I have super condensed, forearm sized turds. A rigid plastic butter knife works fine. I made a little sheath for it out of duct tape on the back of the toilet, and I keep to go silverware with me everywhere I go. However, just because its chopped up, doesnt mean it will flush. I dont trust anyone who takes small shits, and doesnt have a plunger at the ready in every bathroom.
Damn. This brings back a memory… I lived in the Philippines for three months. My diet changed drastically over night. I was having rice three times a day. You might not know this, but rice is surprisingly not filling. Well, five days into our stay, I had yet to pass those nearly 15 portions of rice.. also, Philippine toilets are significantly smaller than in the States and require you to manually pour water in the bowl to flush. My buddy was the first to go. He came back to the room late at night nearly in tears. It was like giving birth, he said. There was nothing to do other than wrap the log into a neon green plastic bag and throw it away. Alas, there was nowhere to throw it discreetly. He opted to walk out on the back porch, twirl it above his head, and launch the bag into a neighboring rice field. We come to my turn. All is the same for me. It literally tore me. I was miserable for months before it began to heal. Well, I too threw it into the field, this time in a bright pink plastic bag. Now, for the most mortifying part: that night was a long one and the next day we had off of work. We slept long and hard… very much like what we birthed the night before. We slept almost till lunch. He woke up before me to see what had happened. He burst into the room and shook me awake to get me to come see. In the morning the neighbors had harvested the field!!! Right there on the ground were two neon plastic bags with what were so obviously giant shits. Probably bigger than the forearms of the folks that had harvested! We were stunned. Embarrassed beyond belief. We were too shy to do mention it to anyone. They were there for nearly three weeks before someone had cleaned them up. God bless their soul.
I’ve heard this story before but with a poop spoon it was a wooden spoon they’d hang on the bathroom wall solely for the purpose of breaking up huge turds the whole damn family used it op only realized it was weird when nobody else could relate to him poor op💀
My mom will always ask if you need scissor (in Spanish) when you take too long in the bathroom but as far as I know, there has never been any poop cutters in the family
I can't imagine what it would be like to carry around 3-4 days worth of digested food. Nor can I imagine what getting rid of it would be like. That's insane.
honestly, I have IBS, and I usually have to use this method. No amount of plunging is going to get that through the hole. If you haven't defecated in 5-6 days, your poo isn't like normal poo. it's like deli cheese before it's sliced. It can't really bend, or change form. However it comes out of the anus, it's staying that way.
I’ve heard the phrase poop knife before. Two friends of mine from separate families where talking about them years ago. The whole thing reminded me of the three sea shells 🐚.
I used to do property maintenance. I've had to ask people to "break it up before you flush" after being to the same home three times in a week. I recommended a wire coat hanger.
Oh boy, I love being right on time to experience The Horrors! Edit: Every new reddit comment Whang discussed was an additional smack in the face, and hearing "The Penis (Eek!)" with the official poop knife at the end put me in my grave.
My god! I didn't know this was a thing! My little sister had a poop stick growing up and I've had to use a bag/glove to break down her massive sh!ts!!! I love her and I've bailed her out a few times lol. This vid made me feel a little bit better about our sh!tty upbringing
Nice, I was searching for this video some weeks ago thinking you actually made it at the time, but I guess I mistook it for the poop scissors one. Now it's official, gracias.
Man i used to drop Pringles can size cloggers back when i was doing dope. Also had a girlfriend that would constantly clog toilets, it was well known in her family. Mom said "yea shes always took massive shits" whem I told her about the constant clogs. She only weighed 115 pounds.😂
I know what you mean. I've been there, tthat stuff constipates you. The worse was when I was in the hospital for a month. They had been giving me IV dilaudid like every 2 to 3 hours for a month straight, combine that with the hospital food and well.... I'm a dude and have never given birth so I don't know what it feels like but I can only assume it was a similar experience and I was in tears.
my little brother hated going to the bathroom. he would wait days (upwards of a week) at a time to go to the bathroom. when he would go, he would unleash monolithic demons from hell that weighed half his own. as you can guess, the toilet couldn’t handle it. My dad came up with the idea to get a plastic knife and cut it up. it worked, and we had to do this for awhile. my little brother was the only one with this problem, so nobody else had a poop knife. this was like maybe 7 years ago? he was very little at the time, like toddler and a little older. he doesnt have that issue anymore, thank jesus.
The poop knife is the only famous gross-out internet story I learned about prior to any Whang videos (outside of 2 girls 1 cup and goatse). So I'm glad to hear more coverage lmao
Man, you have no idea how much I love your videos. This year has been super stressful, but nothing helps me relax more, than your thoroughly researched stories about poop knives and other ungodly situations🥰
A buddy of mine had this problem back in the day. His mom got so fed up with the toilets getting clogged she made him empty his bowels into a trash bag under the deck. He would bring them places to dispose of them and play the occasional prank. Good times lmao
While trying to find something to watch while eating my breakfast I came across this gem. I am honestly for the first time having a hard time getting through this creamed chipped beef. 😢 But my god, this was indeed a gem..❤❤
I use disposable wooden skewers when this happens. You just cut it up, wipe off the skewers for sanitary reasons, and toss them in the trash. You can also kinda lift up the toilet paper to assist with flushing. Always use two, they're not super strong.
The poop knife!! MY MOM KEEPS SAYING SHE NEEDS TO BUY ONE AND IT GIVES ME WHIPLASH EVERY TIME SHE SAYS IT, NOT KNOWING ITS ICONIC ORIGIN STORY AND IT GOING FROM GAG GIFT TO A REAL UTILITY PEOPLE USE
My family (Northern Canada) used to keep a walrus tusk for this purpose. We called it Lord Tuskington, or occasionally the Toothmaster General. I have since migrated to Australia and keep the family tradition alive via an old didgeridoo fondly known as Splintery McTubeface.
I don't know what it is, but I feel like any story on reddit that involves poop or farting is always really well written😂Also, the comments & replies on the Poop Knife thread were just as good if not better than the original post
you know… I thought the story was going to go in the direction where someone stuck the knife *inside* of them to cut the poop before it came out. so I’m very relieved lol
You laugh at poop knives now, but thirty millenia down the line your distant descendants will be praying to never see their futuristic counterpart: a plague knife
Yup, i saw the poop knife thumbnail and shouted to my gf "hey remember the poop scissors? Theres a poop knife now" and she seemed just as excited as me
In the army I’ve heard it’s pretty common, because you might not be getting the food you need. You get constipated, so I heard that they have a knife by the toilet and they use it if their feces is too big to pass. They cut it into smaller pieces and pass it separately
My realizations of my family doing things others didn’t do mostly consist of silly made-up words that I made the mistake of saying with others only for them to be confused. This is a whole other level lol.
I’ve been waiting on this one holy shit. I always love when whang covers something I already knew about Edit: yo those dudes at 6:56 are straight up smokin crack
@6:20 nah, bro. kids can also drop some hugie loogies, too. as an adult, i stand 5'5 and have been since i was 12. i've already clogged my fair share of toilets well before i stopped growing. *shrug*
As someone with an old toilet that clogs all the time, the best way to deal with a clog you cant plunge is to pour some dish soap and boiling water from a kettle into the toilet then leave it. You may have to repeat the process a few times but it breaks the turds down very effectively
