This is summarised by my favourite quote: "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche.
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
@@iektube Not sure I fully understood but I read everything you said and I think I got the gist of it and I think it makes some sense. Main thing I wanted to convey to you is just how much of a deep thinker you are and exceptional ability to write it out. Someone more well versed in these subjects surely would understand far better than I. Cheers.
"When I was 20, I cared about what everybody thought about me. When I was 40, I didn't care what everybody thought about me. When I was 60, I realised that nobody cared anyway".
I'm in my 30's and already recognise all three points. Only thing that's important as far as i can tell is spiritual growth, since this is the only part of us that is eternal. That is, if you believe in this sort of thing ✌😉 Would be nice to have a family though.
Danielle Matthews It’s the same way the Buddhists say, if you try to think nothing and make your mind blank it is almost impossible, it’s when you become happy with being present and aware that you can truly think “nothing” because your mind is open to your surroundings instead of your worries or faults.
Absolutely, less people, less stress. Most people listen to respond and not listening to hear you. Most people aren't concerned about your well-being, only to have something or someone to compare against...how they are better then you. I absolutely love being alone with my thoughts and not having to answer to anyone. Does that mean I want to be alone for the rest of my life, not exactly. Just that I haven't had the opportunity to meet another like myself, with the same ideas on peace and tranquility. To be at peace with one's self and to be able to share this with another in harmony.
This video was recommended to me. It was a weird coincidence I watched it today, as I was just thinking about how I don’t have my own group of friends, how my family and relatives are not close to me and I am not invited to my colleagues’ gatherings (before the pandemic). I have been thinking people don’t like me and it makes me nervous in social situations. Of course it’s has a lot to do with me, as I don’t share my family’s ideology and I suck at small talk, I over share when people ask me how I am doing. I don’t drink. I am not a member of any religion etc. My “lifestyle” is weird to people, as is my passion for some things and that I speak so openly about my feelings and how I love being alive. But now that I have watched this, I actually feel much better. I have been an outsider for so long that I have difficulties to adapt to these groups as their behavior seems quite odd to me. Thank you for making this video ❤️
I went to college for 4 years in order to do something I never wanted to do in the first place. When my father was dying of cancer, I hurried up and married this girl I 'kinda' knew so that he could leave this world knowing that I was 'safe'. I joined the Country Club and played golf with hideous phony people I could not stomach. I bought a 5-bedroom home until one day I woke up and finally realized that I never really owned that house...IT owned ME. And so, today I live with my cat, play guitar in a band and enjoy going out of my way for people NOT expecting anything in return. I live for the moment (BE...where you are) ZEN and I sleep until 10 every morning. I drink beer and don't answer my phone when it rings. I watch Andy Griffith reruns and hope to GOD I can live to be 99. It's THEM, not you. KNOW THAT! peace, lady
At 46, I am finally comfortable in myself, my being and my presence. It's absolutely ok to not be like everyone else, in fact it's a virtue. It's not that people don't like you, it's because your energy is too vibrant and alive for them. They can't handle it or understand it and it threatens them. You see through them and their charades too much, you are too deep, you're too present, you're too truthful. . I've always felt like I was dropped off in the wrong planet since childhood, years of isolation and loneliness, years of trying to be like them. Now I have flipped it the other way around. I am exactly how I'm meant to be and it's a privalage to be an individual . I value myself and I validate myself. I don't need any groups, including family. I am my own being. You are not weird, strange or odd, you are exactly who you are meant to be, embrace it! It's a strength and a freedom to be a loner in these times. Connect with nature and remember to ground yourself
"Solitude is dangerous. It's very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It's like you don't want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy." Jim Carrey
Most people will try to tell who you are, but I've learned to decide for myself who I am, as I know myself best. People's opinions of us are often self-serving and erroneous.
THIS! I don’t get it! I went alone all through school, but now at the work program im in, Im finally happy and even prefers being alone. And im suddenly popular, a few people even follows me around frikkin everywhere trying to catch my attention o.o
As someone who tried to fit in for years, never did, and finally realized the freedom in being just me. I have never been happier. Thank you for this video. Good message.
I totally agree with you madam , You only have freedom when yor mind is free . It's really a long hard journey to realize and practise it , but when you try the right path , peace in mind is your best achievement . Hope you always be happy and healthy
It's because our society is so hardwired to make you believe that you have to fit in somewhere. You can be ostracized for not "fitting in" in lots of situations. Unfortunately it takes time and trial and error for most to discover that you don't need to fit in if you don't want to. When you are a young child, with almost every angle you look at, life has something to do with being part of a group or social circle. You hear your parents talk about the people they work with, whether good or bad. Then it really starts at school. Kids will tell other kids that don't fit in that they are "losers", and many school activities also force you to be part of some form of a group. And then when you are looking into careers almost all types of work involve working on a team. Not much focus on being more independent is ever suggested, in fact it is seemingly frowned upon mostly. And then of course, in more modern times, the rise of social media really reinforces this to the younger crowd. I've never had any social media accounts since Myspace came out. I saw right through that crap immediately when it started becoming a thing.
This is why I love RU-vid. It’s totally different to the BS cattle farm that is FB or Insta. With RU-vid you can dip into the comment sections like this and realise you’re not alone. You’re a powerful, free-thinking, individual who’s educating yourself with good content without getting wrapped up in ‘news’ feeds or comments. There’s no commitment here. Much love to you fellow loners out there pushing for new ways of thinking and novel ideas.
@Anne-Lou maybe its more nuanced, its not that you should be insensitive about how people think about you, its more that it makes it more easier (for me at least) when I know the other person is struggling with his own demons - so no need to always assume its for the better and swallow it whole when someone tells you what to do
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but why though? why would you feel sorry for them, and why would you try to convince anyone? isn't there sort of some internal conflict in this statement?
@Jonathan Neufeld I 'try' to just 'observe' in passing without making judgement. Kind of like grocery shopping...walk down the isle and only take what you need. Then split. :)
They're just doing what "society" tells them they should be doing. Damn near every person of my generation in the US was commanded to get a degree and get a 9-5 by their parents while they were growing up. Nobody ever questioned why. They are just forced to do it if they want to retain their parents respect. No wonder everyone my age hates their parents. But they still take out massive loans to go to college because that's what everyone else is doing anyway. Now once they're out of college, they MUST start collecting money because they're already in debt. Then before they pay those loans off society tells them they need a new car and a big apartment because hey, that's what everyone else is doing. So now they're trapped in a cycle of consuming, and the only thing they have to justify it is that everyone else is doing it, so it must be the correct thing to do. Surely since everyone else is wasting their lives doing something they hate every day in exchange for money it must be what you're supposed to do! Right?? It's very sad how common this trap is in my country. It makes me want to leave and try to find some place where consumption isn't running rampant and taking over so many people's lives. If I never find such a place at least I have my own company, maybe I will live alone in solitude on a small farm instead. :)
@@Joseph-C wow, absolutely you can live in a small farm, greggy. If it is out of reach now, I think you can learn how to manage a productive garden and not relying "them" to fulfill your needs! Much love
TheGreggy711 The country of Portugal looks inviting as I now live in the USA and love it but I share your same thoughts. People are trying to keep up with the Joneses and not actually living their own lives, sad.
I've struggled my whole life to fit in because my family wanted me to, but I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I chose to be alone, after a few toxic relationships and toxic friendships later, I became happier without them. My family is angry and disappointed with me of course, so they try to guilt trip me with comparing me to other family members who are more socially acceptable than I am. I don't care anymore because I felt way too drained trying to conform myself to their ways, so I stayed true to myself. I've learned to be independent and not associate myself into other groups. I like thinking for myself and I like doing things for myself, and that's enough for me. I don't like taking orders from others because they're not always right. This video pretty much sums up my whole life.
It's kind of funny watching a bunch of loners going on about how great it is being loners while also taking joy in not being alone in their feelings. Face it: we all want a sense of belonging in some way--and I say this as basically a loner. Cheers.
Does anyone else feel that those of us that love and accept others as they are without judgment are usually the ones that are ostracized because of the judgments of others? Keep on existing sigmas! Maybe one day we can have a meal together? (Portland, Oregon)
haha that's observant...I wonder if it's just that we're more sensitive to the phenomenon, as a whole (of judgement / feelings of separation or being ostracized - from our own past or observation / listening to others ). And maybe our motive in extending love and acceptance, so much or so often, comes from being sooo in tune with how crappy it feels, to experience the alternative. Like, I'm always surprised to hear when some of the tougher more social people I know, seem to describe things I experience - but just without so much sensitivity or internalization. They almost seem to write it off as something about the other person, giving it very little thought or analysis. Whereas I could write tomes on social stuff, and the feelings that go with it. I dunno if that analysis is helpful to you! Watching lots of LOA videos lately and thinking that maybe I'm creating my own reality with my own sensitivity to (and therefore focus on) certain social truths...i.e. self-isolating and analyzing, instead of letting it go like others do. Tho, truly, it's my preference :) (as a writer and weirdo misfit :) Trying to see the joy in it lately, and the power. Like, it's not something others have done to me, anymore, in my mind. I see it now as something I do for myself, consciously, because it's what's best for me - aka introversion, selective close friendships (very few), lots of time alone, it's what's best for me! Anyway, thanks for the intriguing thought! p.s. I learned recently that I have type B+ blood and I read about how Bs in Japan are kinda bullied for being non-conformists and independent and non-cooperative (or some writers say, selfish), and I realized it's a quality I have - to spend LOTS of time trying to see the good and love and light in ALL, and to others who don't devote so much time to that, my desire to unify / accept differences maybe comes off as preachy or moralistic or annoying...like in my acceptance of all, I'm asking them to include my lifepath of accepting all, as sort of the 'highest good' - and many people I encounter prefer having their preferences and communal natures and conforming, and maybe feel judged by me, despite my acceptance type language...I dunno! I kinda gave up on people understanding me, lately. Downside is I keep getting weirder, which means less acceptance...but oh well! Bye :) (I'm really chatty lol, hope u don't mind...)
@@JessicainTheRainbow I am also B+. And yes, I follow what you are saying. I also study the LOA but was a fan of Buddhism and philosophy from way back. I think we could have some interesting conversation and dialogue. Hail the writers and misfits! There is power in it, but there is also power in community and co-creating. It takes trust, and for people like us, that's not easily won for the reasons that you gave. With all that's happening in the world, I can't help but feel like I helped create it and now I am helping to rebuild (not the right wording but I'm winging it currently). Link up on FB if you would like. I crave intelligent conversation with others who are on similar paths. 😊
@@johnkraus532 that makes sense (I've definitely spent time helping people see their own complexities that contribute to problems they complain about as if those problems don't have some ability to soften or be solved in the self - and, based on this theory - that would explain why people don't like the answer of 'look inward' - if the 'self' they've been projecting, including anger or complaint, has been to strengthen a false sense of self/ego, and if my response would 'help' dissolve that (but it doesn't help them because they don't want it resolved)) Thanks!
@@jeffreyblagg6777 yes i have serious trust issues lol, lots and lots of trauma - a solution i've found is to share very openly as a songwriter and also with 'check-in videos' - so i very very rarely, as mentioned, seek out new friendships or one-on-one conversations, as the world is so messy to me and expectations are so impossible to manage and balance i've found...my usefulness is usually in a little more distance, like zooming out like a bird, for perspective. but as a place to begin, please feel free to follow my work / songs / videos and/or share a link to some of yours? it's a safer way for me to experience people I don't know, or don't know well :) (otherwise I just project the same beliefs and expectations and hopes on all people, and end up constantly disappointed by the world, and by myself, for not being able to comfortably or naturally be more social, in traditional ways...being a social media / youtube queen is my current solution...helps me stay tethered to who i actually am and how i actually think, instead of always pinballing around and being influenced by people...honestly i think it's that the world and people overwhelm me, because I want to experience and process everything so deeply, which means i can only manage taking in a small amount, from a small group of people...tho i also do lots of group projects like curating house shows and compilation albums, for charity and such, which is a way to interact with lots of people and their work, while maintaining a sort of singular reason for the interaction)(which is why i like events with a focus or activity, and not parties - or sitting and journalling at coffee shops...lots of opportunity to smile and gently interact / study / be around people, but without getting lost in their worlds). Anyway hope you're well! I appreciated this convo
I've never really had a choice about fitting in. Always found myself alone, even in a crowd. Always been labeled "weird". It's just lately that I've accepted and taken advantage of it. :)
You belong to the animal kingdom, to nature and are a product of natural law, as well as your racial group, as well as the group which speak your language, who sacrificed so you could exist today just so you could hold a view that you don't belong to any of it. It's delusion. Don't let this crap fool you. There's nothing wrong with being unique but to tell yourself you don't belong is just emotion based nonsense. Not wanting to belong or not feeling you belong... All feelings.
@@makerealitygreatagain8809 I'm sure this whole concept of not belonging basically has to do with choosing self actualization over conformity. Don't you agree?
I think its comforting in that some day everyone eventually finds their people. Could be one or two but it happens and its worth it. Meanwhile we have work tp do in ourselves 😊
Relationships are hard work; you have to put up with a lot and so do they. For me, it's worth it but I value my solitude just as much. I hope you find friends if you would like that. Maybe the reason why you feel like nowhere is home is because everywhere is home. Maybe you're just too good for this world ...
As someone who has always been unpopular - both in friend groups and even my own family - this is priceless. Your channel is helping me let go and let be. We don't need to be "popular" or feel "included" to live a fulfilling life. Ironically, I wish this was a more popular idea!
I guarantee many times you’re going to be mentally healthier because belonging in that group might mean having very unhealthy behaviors. That was the case of my ex-husband and my family lots of abuse.
I get up one day full of energy and determination, then I have a bad day and I feel groggy for a few days. I get up groggy disrupting a chain of good days, I feel lonely for a few more days. Simply put it I'm the guy who stands dressed in a full black attire against a corner of a room. Am I creep? Maybe...
People never took to me well.. i was always the "different" one.. never fit in anywhere..i used to think i needed the approval of others and now i dont give a shit what other people think about me and its a great feeling...
I was always the run away. If not physically, in my head. Ppl dont realize how truly small & petty they look to me. Not bc i think im better, its just that i dont have energy. & I dont think anyones better than me see previous words. Oh & bc i dont have the energy. Take that energy & go shove it up your own ass 👍. Bc what ppl dont seem to understand about me is that you absolutely cant think for me or tell me what i am or not. Thats fn laughable. All i ever had in my life was to look at myself. Your exit was b. C. Yeah that. Im being extra. Im saying go get your head stuck up ur own asses then... But keep it there! K thx
I never fitted in and the older I got the less and less I fitted in , until one day I woke up and found myself completely alone with not one person to have to relate too if I don’t wish, it’s the spring 🌼 now as I lay on a haystack outside my house 🏡,Googly eyes from the puff of the MJ ,I love myself at times ,Love you guys too. starting to giggle Tee hee tee hee feeling funny ,feeling happy 😃
I think that one of the most beneficial things to come out of this philosophy is you can meet likeminded people and form a network of friends that all are individuals and still remain free.
@@ramirenriquez6795 Struggling for freedom is the only way to achieve it. Giving up you freedom for safety is a coward's game. Only problem is, practically no one knows what true freedom is. If they did, I'm not so sure they'd even want it.
But is speed necessarily good? I like my own company but treasure someone who can point out things I wouldnt necessarily see to me along a path...tis true tho that I most often have best powers of observation that I like to share.
@@MsMesem definitely speed is not necessarily good! I will take Stillness over speed any day. Long ago, I told myself to go slow enough to see it, and fast enough to see it all. What are some things that you have observed, and would like to share? Either on the internet, or out in the world.
Yes! Travelling alone is the ultimate freedom, choice of music, or none, choice of direction, how long to pause and journal, etc. I miss it wildly. (I do homemade writing retreats, instead of 'official' sanctioned ones - just because they ask u to pay a fee to apply, and sort of ask you to prove yourself or what you'll do there, and then once there, follow certain rules and dictates, and maybe be more social than I'd want to be - and it kinda kills the point of em honestly - I did one once tho which had full creative freedom for 2 weeks and all solitude in a cabin - but still my favorite 'writing retreats' involve more of a wandering spirit, a space to sleep that's somewhere other than home, any hotel room or campsite will do, and infinite songwriting / journaling / exploration time, at my own pace...)
yeah its underrated. you can rush here and there if you want to or try eat vegetarian food. no 1 will be like "aww come on lets go do this now" or impatience
As a kid I cried that nobody at school liked me. You want to be loved and accepted and can't comprehend why you aren't. The older I got, the more it turned into not caring about it anymore, more years passed and suddenly I found myself without the desire and outright glad that this was my path.
And NONE of them know how to LISTEN. Or even care to, for that matter. They all just start bragging about themselves all at the same time. Then when someone leaves the room, they make about them. Simpletons :(
Chosen loneliness is gained from bad experiences Unchosen loneliness is gained from social awkwardness, mental conditions and may also come from experiences. I was always seen as a joke throughout my past and acted as a third wheel in friend groups, as a result, I'm both
Yea I am also a social outcast, I've been alone in school without talking or going to people houses and socializing for about 3 idk years it got me depressed, it sucked. My dogs and family are the only ones that make me happy.
@Citizenthirteen We really do get what we want. For me the trick isn't getting what I want. The trick is figuring out and consciously deciding what I want.
My mother was amazing, she allowed me to think and grow without having to conform, it was always my choice and even though we were poor I felt sorry for the other children. She died when I was 14 and that night was the first time I stayed awake all night until the sunrise, it was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen.
That's what I'm feeling right now. It's hard especially when you're in a small workplace of a dozen people. The social butterflies unknowingly decide all the workplace culture, and if you don't conform, it'll affect the productivity. I have to put on a mask everytime i go to work, it's tiring. But i guess many people feel that way, that's why relationship at workplace often just professional. Fortunately i have a soulmate that can accept me for who i am, and i dont know what'll became of me without her.
Yes, my boss is a true narcissist, like her ego needs to be babied, she needs to be appreciated, and if you forgot to thank her for what she did, she'll ask it from you, then she'd feel so flattered unaware of herself. and then tries to make you feel you dont deserve stuff...i want to understand her emotional issues but sometimes, she really pisses me off...people like that makes you feel awful that you just want to get rid of them to stay mentally and emotionally healthy...and that's what made me a bit of a loner, or in no particular group of friends in work. To stay healthy..シ
I've found that having a job that i like gives meaning to my life, not just pay bills. It also gives me some challenges and some social interactions with cooworkers. It do take away some freedoms, yes, but as long as i have what i need , i tend to be happy with what i have.
Yup, being “free” of the herd mentality or any kind of non conformity... is a sure fire way to become the office scapegoat and have work life become a living hell. Harder still when u love ur actual job and are naturally talented at it. If ur happy and self actualized it causes envy and jealousy in the pack animals and some of them are ur boss
i had to quit my last job because i had only one other co-worker and he assumed that alone made us best friends forever and ever. he would talk about us moving in together etc, really creepy. i never told him i was quitting. just disappeared one day.
Wouldn’t this also apply as a group? Does freedom come from taking what you will from ideas and not conforming to one ideology/religion etc. I’m genuinely asking others thoughts as this has been on my mind recently.
@@ryan19554 I believe that you have the ultimate choice of whether you wish to conform to an idea or noy. *That* (in my opinion) is freedom. You *willingly* choose to be apart (or not be apart) of that idea.
I want to stand out to show them I can be unique in my own way. People want to be my friends by then but I push them away or just be shallow towards them. They're giving me attention but I don't want to get deep with them.
I love this video. It made me feel better after being bothered about being excluded in my group of friends and being treated as an outcast in my family. I’m so glad I found this ❤️
Sometimes, a person can have more deeply organized responses to words, than to things, which are not words. - Irving J Lee I detect strong SiS between the 2. Thanks for the name.
i'm introverted since i was a kid, so my energy levels get low pretty quickly when i'm around people, but it depends, some people require less energy cause they accept you as you are... The struggle start when i have to be accepted, so now that i'm 30 i don't care anymore, i'm not scared of solitude and i like the way i am. Free.
Groups bring out the worst in people. Even as a teenager i did things to ensure that i did not belong. but now i am lonely, wish i could find "my" group.
So being alone allows you to live in a multiple personality schizophrenic bipolar delusion. This video validates your delusions of yourself. Oh how wonderful.
Thank you for this. Always found myself drifting from group to group through high school, never feeling fully welcome. Too nerdy for the sporty people and too sporty for the nerdy people, to put it bluntly. It ends with deciding to listen to that quiet inner voice that says "be as you are", or as Nietzsche put it, "be a force in of yourself". It's a feeling of breaking free, awakening and standing tall in yourself that I wish others could feel.
I certainly see myself in your Sigma male. I live alone, have no visitors, am estranged from mt siblings (and do not miss them). Life events brought me to this comfortable position. Now I feel no need of others, although I do freely converse and share opinions as and when I encounter free minds. I heard how the virus isolation causes mental problems in many, but not for me - just life as usual. Death no longer concerns me. I describe myself as a "misfit". I have no association with clubs, recreation or religion. I am always most comfortable at home alone
@@valtteri7090 A reasonable logic - pedantically applied. In this case I think in labels (Sigma being one) we are really reaching for a way for others to readily get an idea of what we imagine our general way of operating to be.Sigma seemed a good enough fit for my case, and if that label becomes widely understood, then other might understand the way I believe my character to be. But in all this, I have to wonder if anyone (me included) ever gets a good enough estimation of themselves, that they can have a reasonably accurate self analysis. Also I in my comment, I describe myself as a "misfit" but I start out writing i see myself in the Sigma definition. Isn't it like horoscopes. any and everybody can see something of themselves in every horoscope.
@ Thank you for the sentiment. Most kind of you. However I am elderly and I have always considered pets to be "a member of my family". So I need to beieve it likely I might out live my pet. I expect that a cat or dog would out-live me, my dog died at 14yrs old. There are several scenarios which would cause a pet to leave me and be homeless - my death among those possibilities. Would it be fair on the animal? This is life, and while life isn't often fair, I try to be. My dog was put to sleep two years ago. As for cats, landlords seem better disposed to cats, but I don't know why. This place reeked of cat urine for years, when I moved in, and I have seen so much damage to furniture, and curtains - but most of all the connection isn't there.
Well played. John Bullard. The first sentence is brilliant. Lao Tzu sounds really good in English imagine how beautiful it is in Chinese. You are on a very high path; the air is thin up there!
Brilliant. I find that settling into a committed relationship ultimately ends up being limited to one’s potential growth because of the constant compromising.
Elle Tuppen Maybe an exception to the rule, but I still Find my husband to be true to himself, en ‘allows’me to be true to myself. Even when I think this time i do break through his ‘boundries’, to my surprise, he lets me know, that he trusts me, and whatever may come of it, may come. Then I love him even more.
When I was young I never felt I belonged in my community, this caused me great anxiety and depression. Now I'm older, I feel this not belonging is a freedom. I'm a foreigner living in Japan, my youth steeled me for this life I now live, and I'm very grateful.
I am also a foreigner living in Japan. I have very few friends and I have never been in relationship. Although I sometimes feel lonely and lost, I can see myself more objectively and understand better who I am as an individual.
This has been my life, and I am greatful for it. "The American poet Robert Frost somewhat the same thing, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
Thanks for this video! I have been a runner for a long time and, at some point, I started registering for cycling events and duathlons (run-bike-run). At first, I felt bad about being the weirdo with the cheap bike and clothing that was not specific for cycling. And then, I realized that I wanted to be that guy that others looked down at or ignored before a race, just to hit the course and hold my own, despite my lack of proper equipment. There was something great about that: I was not winning often, but after the events, cyclists would come talk to me and congratulate me for my efforts. They noticed. I was not just another guy with an expensive bike. I had heart, still do.
If that was true you’d have found out there are WAY more of them than there are of you and being ripped to shreds by a pack of hyenas is NOT fun and tends to limit your future options pretty quickly too. Envious people will group together to push out someone being loudly and confidently different... even those sheeple who don’t like each other will bond over the chance to destroy someone’s happiness who has made them feel jealous.
I’ve always felt like I don’t belong, or fit in really anywhere. I’m just me. I’m just what I’m meant to be. And I feel the more I try and be like the members of a clique or a group , the less I feel like myself. The only time I felt like myself in a group was in a group of friends I had when I was about 15-16 and we all were just ourselves. We all brought something unique to the table, and we didn’t try to be like eachother. We just appreciated eachother and did crazy stupid stuff together. And to be honest I miss it the most, but I know that I can never fold and be like everybody else. I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people I cannot intellectually connect to. Sometimes I feel like this world has become too out of touch with the true nature of what we really are. We’re often fighting our own nature to fit in, pay bills, keep up with the Jones’s , and reduce embarrassment. But our true nature is so hard to fight for a reason. We’re not supposed to! Haha. Of course I believe in bettering yourself! But I think the direction we’re heading in as a society is not a better one, to many regards.
They are wrong and THAT'S why they stay married.People go and get married like it's some sort of VICTORY. Then they get a mortgage and car payments like THEIR some kind of victory. Then they all go out together on Friday night together and NOBODY has enough honesty to admit out loud that their not happy.They would rather 'starve' than to let someone else know that they are hungry. They need admiration from others. They need an image. They need a good kick in the ASS is what they need.
The Naughty Christmas Elf That might be their insecurity "talking". Do your own thing, don't hurt others intentionally and help where you think it matters. Good luck!
When I was a teen I came across my horoscope and it seemed to be spot on, even though I dont put any stake in such things. "Those who stand out in a crowd often get cut out of the herd. Unless you can go it alone, you should try to be more conventional." It cut it out and glued it in a scrapbook. I'm 40 now. Turns out I could go it alone, I'm a sigma female.
Another great video. So often you articulate beautifully what I feel and believe. I remember once seeing a huge group of motorcyclists. The group’s name was “The Rebels”. They all dressed exactly the same. I doubt any of them could see the irony of being called “The Rebels” when in truth they should have called themselves "The Conformists".
My whole life I have always put more into it, than I ever got out of it ... The group has always taken from me, they steal your time, energy, and even your Ideas ... The group always makes me feel anxious, I have always felt they give off a vary Molestive and Parasitic Energy ! : (
In the long run you will find yourself trying to be a different person to different people to the point that you don't really even know who or what you are to yourself, and THAT is sad. You loose your image. You spend all day 'rehearsing' what your going to say to people NOT because that is how you feel but because THAT is what they EXPECT you to say, right ?
@@johnkraus532 This is what society wants to you to do. Most people go with the mainstream mentality and they expect you to follow suit. Unfortunately, today you have to relinquish your identity if you want to belong. But at the end of the day belonging comes with a cost.
Much truth here! When I stopped trying to conform, when I took off all my personality masks just to be me, it felt so emancipating. I felt a freedom unlike anything to that point. And the energy! You are so right about the energy saved. I didn't realize how laborious it was maintaining these facades. Sort of the same reason I don't bother lying anymore (to others or myself). It's a waste of energy trying to remember which narrative belongs with which individuals. It may seem trivial, but in not lying, I allow the world to be my memory. I don't have try to remember what lie I told, I simply look at facts the world presents. More energy saved.
Thank you for this. I needed this. I love the analysis “in-group” vs “loving kindness” also “self actualisation” vs “being one of the group” blindly. Self awareness is key. Freedom of choosing what is right for me. Priceless.
Yay, so glad! I am 70 years old and have always identified this way for all my life. Thank you! Never had a problem with having friends or belonging. It's not that I never cared, just did not think it was an issue to not run with the herd. Love you friends.
Boy did I need this. I always felt like I had to be apart of the group. Even though I hated it, and even felt the pressure. I honestly questioned why it was so hard for me to join in, to where I thought maybe I’m crazy. But this is it, I enjoy my freedoms, and need to change my perspective of this very thing. Thank u
@@fenris8179 Well, a masked asshole is still an asshole... it's all mostly subjective. That "asshole" might find similar "assholes," if he's a true asshole😁.
Generally speaking, one should, again, choose the Middle Path by spending time in a group you feel comfortable in and also having enough time in solitude. Balance is always key; and there are many people who also want to have the "ultimate freedom" of not belonging. Meeting with them from time to time be so valuable :) And by the way: by identifying as a "sigma male", you also want to belong to this group of specific individuals and you put a label on yourself that might hinder you from evolving. As always, keep the balance that feels best. One can spend the majority of their time in solitude or in the group, but some extent of the opposite should be there.
I naturally lean more towards being an extrovert, but I've found that when I'm not as loving and compassionate towards myself, I act more introverted. And when I take that solo time to heal and love on myself more fully, I emerge very confident, loving and extroverted.
I feel so good when i‘m alone in my room gaming, but always crave for attention and want to go out and do things with others to be round someone. Its this weird inbetween state of wanting to be alone and not wanting to be alone Edit: I was just a lil depressed kid Life is fcking good rn and love to be alive i got to learn to be just myself and who doesnt like doesnt matter live your life and go outside everyone, i love it here
The beauty IS that YOU have the choice to make it balance out to YOUR comfort and don't have to allow someone else to force others upon you. They WILL, you know. :) peace
I hear ya. The happiest I was ever been was travelling by myself, alone in Japan. I made some friends, but I enjoy it the most when I just let myself wander, and push my limits. Wouldn't have been able to experience much of Japan if I spent most of my time with a companion.
As I am retired and can get by on my pension, I love the isolation that Covid has brought. It has freed me to be me: to do what I want, dress what I want , think what I want and freed me from my groups.
Thank you for this video. I just returned from walking my dog. And in that walk I was having a big rant inside my head about how people are clichés walking around. This video nicely connects to that and you nicely point out the positives to focus on.
It kinda feels like my family. For Christmas I have to get dragged around going say hello to everyone. I don’t even talk to anyone and just sit their doing nothing. I really do feel like I’m not a part of the family and i like it like that
Don't go. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm standing up for my rights. I just sit there in the corner anyway. It's more for people who have family's anyway.
I’ve never belonged anywhere nor with anyone in my whole life. I am the most alienated and alone person in the world. I am also the freest person in the world.
FREEDOM IS.....Focusing on Success for You & Leave all the Losers where they are in Life because most People aren't interested in being a Betterment to Improve our World...yet, the more U work on U...even in being Free...the more the World becomes a Better place. ❤️ Free People happen to be more Lively & feed the World with Love & Positivity in place of bringing everyone else down.😎 Often times Alienation is a Gift to prevent filling our space with all the very Wrong people...to only in the end only find out we were dealing with a bunch of Debbie Downers who only want to dampen our Spirits. FREEDOM is the Best choice...in Life...ever.
@@AVIVAFilms I'm just interested to know what you meant with, "People aren't interested in being a betterment to improve our world." Do you think most people actually don't care about improving themselves or the world?
@@Feber2001 Most don't. Just look around...there's so many Issues which need Resolved in our World & Only a small percentage cares to fix them. Number one Problem We have is Overpopulation & a majority of people within those Percentages don't care one bit💡If U care, then that's to say that U care just as much as the small Percentage who does...yet again, most don't.💖
Thankyou for creating this. This describes everything I am, that I could never put into words. It took me a while to accept my inability to fit in, but coming to the realization that not belonging or fitting in allows one to experience life in a limitless and radical way is the most satisfying and fulfilling way to live.
