How to Stop Overthinking Social Interactions | Malcolm Gladwell 

Every time I read one of Gladwell's books or listen to him speak I feel smarter.

The car and profiling ABSOLUTELY MATTERS. As a dark-skinned black woman who was a struggling single mom and drove cash cars for many years, I can attest that when I finally started driving newer cars, my rate of getting pulled over dropped significantly. I have been pulled over for all kinds of non-existent reasons, and also for traffic flaws.

Malcolm Gladwell never ceases to enlighten my life 🤎

Third full interview I’ve watched of yours today. Really love your approach and have really enjoyed these!!

I am so into this interview. Love, absolutely love your reading your interviewer. I could tell what you were thinking when you asked about whether he was managing his own behavior and while he answers in examples , I could see what you're really thinking. We share the same birthday, September 3, 10 years later than you. Kindred spirits we are.

I learned much from both the guest and interviewer. They each brought alot to the table.

This was such an interesting and enjoyable video. I could listen to both of you for hours!👏👏👏

Do we ever question THERE WAS NO LEGITIMATE REASON for Saundra to be pulled over IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I would love to see Gladwell and Danny Kahneman interviewed together. Little disappointed Gladwell didn't mention Kahneman's work in this interview especially when talking about job interviews. Gladwell's thoughts are a nice bookend to Kahneman's research, would be fascinating to see that interaction!

Thank You for Paying Attention and Reinforcing how Human Life is Most Important and for Helping Us all Mind the Gap Between us, And to Consider All of the Perspectives In play during these Critical Times. Bless you! ☮️

He beautifully articulated the distinction between systematic, structural racism as opposed to personal racism which the media, people, social networking crowd get riled up.

Its good to see the interviewer being real... loved those emotions in ur head...😊

Malcolm Gladwell has given a loud voice to all the "victimized, underserved, and disregarded" Black community; and not least, an immortal voice for Sandra Bland. This book is such a gift and I truly think it will be a major part of the Tipping Point of change for Blacks in America.

I enjoyed this book tremendously. Thank you, MG.

Love that I stumbled on this.

Great interview!

AWESOME - I LOVE THIS GUY

Great Interview !

I so enjoyed his book.

As always Mr Gladwell makes the case for an alternative perspective before judgements The title of the interview however has nothing to do with the conversation they had

You are such a freaking killer interviewer.

Thank you for helping me to understand the situation on a deeper level. Often times the randomness of our first impressions can be so incorrect. Yet we are told to instinctively act on our first impressions even though we know our first impressions can lead to so much pain and error. We have to look at a deeper level. Thank you for helping me to understand her innocence more clearly.

That's correct some at top are some exceptional!

I love how honest Jordan is, without a PC filter. It helps Malcolm open up as well.

As a white guy driving a German car, I was stopped for speeding by a motorcycle cop who had been hidden behind a tree. I knew I was caught but I also knew I wouldn’t be shot, Tased or even insulted. I was very polite and compliant with the officer . I was still fined. I guess the incident was different from that experienced by many minorities.

All hail his hair. Legend

An ex-girlfriend of mine used Gladwell’s Blink to justify every suspicion, bias or disagreement she had with me. His theory served as a catch-all to confirm any bias she had.

sorry forgot to add but do it with consideration wich is equal to love

cause if i want to get along with someone i also have to be someone to get along with ,in other words you don't need to like someone to love them

“Flagrant injustice.”

If you watch the video what comes to mind for me is that you have two individuals with two unspoken sets of expectations. Cop asks her what's wrong, she takes that as an opportunity to answer honestly venting to him yet it's clear to me he thinks she's "mouthing off" being disrespectful to an officer and doesn't have a right to speak her feelings at that moment, but he had asked her. I'm sure to her it felt like he purposefully played games and set a trap for her. I've felt like that before with people in authority. If he didn't want her to answer honestly, he shouldn't have asked her.

"We don't hire people based on whether we want to sleep with them" Uh....That's a bit naive. Human nature is largely driven by sexual urges both concious and unconciously. It might not be a good idea to hire based on attractiveness, but it happens all the time.

no ads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If everyone is your friend, your friendship isn't worth much.

Jordan as a person who followed you from AOC and your days on the fringes of the pickup scene to now, kudos on your growth as a human. I'm sure no pickup guy thinks of Gladwell as a hero or an "alpha" and someone to look up to. Great job.

What's the book he speaks about

This guy's hair made me instantly like him, haha. (jk, hoping not to offend anyone. I'm mixed race with natural hair so it feels familiar, that's all

not one word on how i can get one to like me

It doesn't mean the judge or boss at work is always wrong. Job interviews are a mess, though. The interviewer is usually looking for someone who is him or her. I had one boss who hired only blondes (she was blonde). I (a brunette) pointed that out one day casually, and the boss was shocked. One employee went out and dyed her hair.

Wow, the Boston bomber case just went to Supreme Court today.

Cop doesn't have to breathe her smoke

What about her failure to indicate turn?

23:36 starts to get interesting - facial expressions

Greene and Gladwell sound very similar.

29:45

Non-verbal communication is universal. Human facial expressions like joy, contempt, regret, etc are shaped by evolutionary biology. Perception of expression is cultural.

Inner soul mostly idealism

How do make that one dude like you, if you claim to know how.to make everyone like you? I mean that dude that would turn up his rigidity and spite just to prove the statement wrong, if he met you (Me..)

I don't get the focus on the interaction between Bland and Encinnia. The only problem in the "Bland case" that I could discern was at the Police station. Allowing Bland to retain objects she could hurt herself with and not regularly checking on her.

Oke : im not so smart, on where, or how to post, - (in) here : but look at a comment on: 'Mitch Virtually "....

Kept waiting for the “getting people to like you” part of this video. Good subject matter nonetheless, just misleading title that I TRUSTED would be the significant theme of this discussion.

Do one's best vs

His debate against Douglas Murray made me lose all respect and disinterest in his work tbh. He tried to use dirty little adhominem attacks and got absolutely manhandled on stage.

I like Gladwell 's sincerity but most of his stories are simply anecedotal. I have been pulled over by the police in Texas for at least 10 times since I started driving but none of the incidents had ever turned into an altecation. Simply put, people today have problems against authority and this issue needs to be addressed before making the cases for prejudices or profiling.

you mean if you cant teach them (beat them) join them ,well heres the problem its not enemies i want not at all i want open thinking and not just comunication puke. and by the way communication is derived from commune interesting right? no because if society keeps beign mothered for every mistake we are headed for even bigger problems so be friends sure thats a given but tolerate ignorance sorry can,t do it

“It’s astonishing how much mileage you can get with cats on the internet.”

Ahole honeypot!

Processing the wrong data. Also not processing the right data! She was there for a professional interview! Not selling drugs! The distance between the reality and the perception was VAST!

Why do people make it all about whites being the racist one like ge said "am i being nice to my black neighbor" wtf? Why isnt that looked at both ways? I grew up in the "hood" all black neighbors and was victimized a lot with racism cause i was white. Even by my black friends and black women! They thought they were being nice to me but they were actually being racist af! I would hear this from 98% of my black friends "youre cool af, for a white dude" or "shawn aint white, hes one of us, hes really black" and black girls and women "oh, you fineee, for a white boy" at the time, it always made me happy to hear these things, looking at it now, its like, damn so what do you guys think of all the other white people!?? I would also get called "white boy" and they would use that stupid ass impression of how "white people talk" smh i hated that the most, cause I never and still dont know of ANY white person who talks like that, except maybe some radio station voices, of that. Smh Racism HAS TO BE LOOKED AT, AT ALLLL SIDES IF ITS EVER GOING TO END OR CHANGE! Its always a one sided arguement and thats totally wrong. Just look how much hate BLM has! 99% of them are totally racist and for what reasons??? Everyone in this Country has the SAME damn opportunity as the other person! I could have been a Pro at multiple sports, no lie but no, i chose to drop out of school, get into drugs, joined the Army, got back on drugs afterwards and now im 37, broke af, sober with no kind of Career job at all... Anyone can be successful in their life here in America, its just how badly do you want it!? We cannot look at these rich 1% (majority white) and think you can only make it like that, being white.. smh not at all. Those 1% keep everything "in the family" and do not let outsiders in, that is why theyre mostly white. So their lives trickle down and make anyone with their skin color has got some kind of advantage, well... My Last name is Nixon, im poor af, the whole Nixon side of the family is poor af and dying off due to drugs and homelessness. Wheres my advantage card?? Lol ive never in my life met a very successful white person or family either, so in my eyes and experience ive seen nothing but equality in America, except that 1 or maybe 2%. Anyways, we cannot fix HATE with HATE, there are still underlining issues that need addressed.

Loved this interview. I just wanted to add a perspective on the AI judgement thing. Almost every time I encounter an algorithm or AI related to my work or business I experience prejudice. It’s way WORSE than human prejudice because it is made by people who don’t see my motives and personality as even existing because I don’t fit into their world views. This is partly because of being in a marginalized 1% of the population on at least 3 personality and IQ measures. So I am constantly left out, made to feel like I don’t exist. I don’t even get “separate but equal” or the ability to show someone that I am like them, because I am objectively and demonstrably NOT like them. Add up the 3 characteristics and I maybe SHOULDNT exist! (Statistically). So the whole world of “systems” and “paradigms” and “beliefs” is organized against me in extremely frustrating ways because I don’t think like other people. The first time I encountered this was the public schools. Then with government systems and policies. I am also transgender and even though companies talk the talk about being inclusive, their algorithms keep flagging me because I am transgender and changed my name and move a lot since I lost my job and house because I am different. For example, I drive for a rideshare company and I changed my name and gender with them manually because the app has no way to change those things-but I got my tax information and it has my old gender name on it. Being transgender is not even the 3 other factors I already mentioned. So I am made alone and struggling because of being different, I left graduate school after 4 years because I thought differently and not even joking I thought everyone was wrong in how they saw the brain and how it relates to experience (my field). Like so definitely wrong I could not in good conscience do a Phd thesis and post-doc in that paradigm. I left and wrote a book and I am adding in at least 21 researchers now in the last 2 decades working on and supporting-some actually doing the specific revolutionary research I proposed-various aspects of the overall idea. I live in my car now. It’s a nice car, but it’s very difficult. Especially since Coronavirus shut down all the fitness centers where I showered. I make money doing gig work, but it’s hard enough getting a job as a weird transgender person while not showering for months, or being able to look presentable. It’s like there is no place on Earth for me because everyone is busy thinking about themselves and they don’t have the capacity to expand the sphere of their thoughts. The part that really sucks is that I am intelligent enough to know that my brain is this way for THEIR BENEFIT. I am extremely good at solving problems, but if the people evaluating that ability in people don’t even see the larger problems that I can and do solve, then I can and do see that in the long run this is bad for whatever nation or people take this path. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t expect anomaly given the statistics of anomaly and the high population and high access to information and thought tools for the modern world. I actually have thought that this might be WHY it’s so valuable to have all this stuff... because of what we have yet to see and/or create. So Yeah I love the Malcolm Gladwell stuff which lets us see so much more in our irrationality and incomplete ways of viewing things. I am hopeful that a generalized AI of the future will be able to see without the troublesome self-centered heuristics of a human brain self-domesticated by social hierarchy and other factors over the last couple hundred thousand years. Yet I sit in my car trying to write even though I have been driven out of towns by police because I am always doing things differently. Because of my personality I hyper-focus and I forget the world around me... so I stay parked in one spot writing for 6 hours and someone calls the police. Then I get on their radar, or list or whatever. (and they run their “cop” algorithms). One time when I still lived in Santa Clarita, I was pulled over or police stopped with their lights going behind me 6 times in 2 weeks. WITHOUT ME DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL. Just acting “different”. But after a week of the stress of that, it feels more like it’s illegal to be a super-smart transgender person to me, to my already fearfully excluded subconscious. It’s just so wrong! Anyway, there’s my perspective. Thanks again to you both. I see both of you as heroes. I am nothing but misinterpreted these days.

Why would I want everyone to like me?

I have never had an uncomfortable meeting with police, but I am always extremely nervous. I wonder if I show that to law enforcement. Blacks do not have similar reactions to the police, I wonder how much of their absurd incarceration is due to the fact that white policemen can’t read their reaction well enough?

After watching Gladwell’s performance in the debate on trust in mainstream on Munk I have zero respect for him.

I’m amazed how disconnected to intelligence this comment section is. Complete contrast to the actual video

Don't settle for quo

I don’t understand why you gave this video the title you did. It has nothing to do with getting people to like you. That topic isn’t even discussed. I always enjoy spending time with Malcolm Gladwell but was disappointed that the topic I had hoped to hear his thoughts about never even came up.

I'm not well off and wear thrift clothing...and I'm white. I get treated badly and with disrespect all of the time, even though I try to look as clean and made-up as possible.

too many ads

Masked terror in the host of the show, as he admits and Boston marathon was an act of terror.

Hyundai is made in Texas

Gladwell = not quite secondary research

As a white American, I cringe everytime the white cops get out of control and another black person is dead at their hands. Are the cops poorly trained? or emotionally immature? or just too nervous to handle the job? or just fricking racist?

Why does Gladwell and nearly everyone in the USA think traffic police can see if someone is black before and up until the time they make the stop? Since the late 90s, I cannot even see well enough through modern tinted windows directly beside them and definitely not from behind the car.

People who have problems with cops have no empathy for the situation that cops are in. They also don't appreciate what cops do for us. And I say this as someone who has had quite a few run ins with them. Deserved run ins. However, my interactions with them have always gone smoothly because I empathize with them, appreciate them, and understand them. I do as I'm told. I don't try to anger them. Simply, I help them do their job.

Isn't Gladwell profiling the officer much the same way he claims the officer profiled her? Gladwell makes numerous assumptions he as not in fact established.

there's no such thing as a 10-sided die.

They weren't both right...

This is such an annoying interview. The title is misleading. There is a very folksy set of references. Why is FRIENDS the basis of the discussion? It's so slow moving, meanders and takes so long to get to the point. Is this about just filling in time? In which case, full marks... We judge people on the basis of their demeanour at about 36mins in. It only gets interesting about there.

lets all be openly racist

Cops need to address these issues or replaced by robots....who don't see race

It doesn't matter what your ethnicity if you are pulled over you cooperate with the police. Do what you are asked.

I am a cop and my job is to make arrests if I don't make arrests I am not doing my job. Right or wrong I will arrest someone...I am powerful and YOU will obey me.

Okay so this talk has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TITLE

Malcom should ck before you marry!

Ask veteran police officers how many times a lit cigarette is used to burn them in a confrontation. That is why he asked her to put it out. Ask veteran police how many times detainees who go off the deep end without justification results in a physical altercation where the officer gets injured. At what point should the police officers accept repeated assaults and being shot dead as their job responsibilities? You have a civilian losing her mind because she was pulled over. After acting irrational behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle, the issue escalates. Perhaps a simple solution can be found...please take the keys out of the ignition while we talk as the initial step in every pullover?

not on topic. Lost me at what MADE you angry. Your response is a choice. Made me angry is a blame phrase, low emotional intelligence. Then its 'more angry'. English word is angrier.

They take forever to get to a point

u mean Getting people to ACT like they like you or WANT u to think they like u.. NOBODY likes everybody.

I thought this was about getting people to like you. I did not expect to hear about police stopping a person of color and on and on.

Scamness for sure

They're not actually "both right". Your privilege and life experiences are showing...

Doesn’t sound right - I still don’t like him

i think this guys racist and but its apart of life

What the hell does this have to do with getting people to like you? Talk about bait and switch. It should be titled gladwell tries and fails make a case for institutional racism. ☝️

Police want "respect" - get over your sense of importance

Two white guys discussing whether something is racist or not, where a black woman who should not have been arrested dies in custody, disgusting

Malcolm Gladwell is not a black man