100% true! Women want a man they can depend on, who will provide not necessarily financially, but a sense of safety, security and stability; who they know will take care of them in whatever way is needed. Example: I'm the primary breadwinner of my family. I own and run my own business. But my husband checks the locks on the doors every night, handles anything that needs handling around the house (repairs, etc), and lectures me about safety constantly. Annoying? Yes, but I adore him for it! Men need a woman who will build them up, help them feel accomplished and actually WANT to be responsible. Been married 21 years and we both love our "roles". This conflicts with modern day sensibilities, but if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss it. Thank you Rabbi! Great synopsis.
My husband and I talked for 3 weeks on the phone, then had 2 dates, and that was it. Were married a few months later. We had the same religious upbringing, which took a lot of questions out of the way. We're both really strong in our faith, had already both been through the wringer in a first marriage, and knew exactly what we needed in a spouse, a soul mate. I love the Man, the patriarch he is in our family. And that he loves me, despite my imperfections. And I love him, who he IS. Not for how much he makes, or for what he can do for me. But he treats me like a queen. And I treat him just as well, I think, at least I try. What you've said is RIGHT on the money.
I so wish I had found your teachings earlier in life. What precious advices! Common sense that has been lost these days. That's what parents should tell us. God bless you Rabbi :)
We lack this kind of older people in general. This is why everything collapsed. People go for whatever is available not for what is moral. Or they are not heard.
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched on RU-vid. As a woman that is dating and would like to have a family and doesn't have much guidance since my father is not to be seen and a mother that isn't too concerned. I appreciate this guidance. I've was and am still a little lost on the idea of what it means to be a woman, but this video has answered some of my questions. Thank you.
I've heard of some women giving femininity training. If say research as many of these coaches and try to find the most... Something. Genuine? Competent? Academically Qualified? Moral? What ever you need.
One thing is for sure, what the progressives and feminists will tell you to become is NOT what attracts a man. He wants respect, low body count, femininity and care/support. This will bring out the best in him and you will discover you have much more power and he will want to do much more for you. Not combativeness and complaining by a nagging boss babe, independant career woman who makes him feel inadequate/insufficient. Men dont care about your job, your finances or your education if you have the qualities above. Look for husband material, hard worker that will be there for you, not prince charming 6pack, 6 incch 6 figures. He wont give a shit about you. He will buy you with $ and looks but he can get a ton of girls like that! Just watched : struggling men are the prize. Good clip
How's about just be yourself and don't force you to find a partner, there is no meaning in being a woman. You are a man or a woman, but that doesn't mean you have to do something special or act in another way, except you really want it for som reason of course, it's all up to you...
Rabbi, thank you for your messages. They are so easy to digest, straightforward and delivered with clarity. At this stage in my life especially, you are a Godsend.
For the record I am married. I trust my husband completely. But even before him I refused and continue to refuse to pretend I am incompetent and can't handle life without him. Here is the key I could live without him. I would dislike it but I could. I do not want to. I choose him. And I have made a vow to choose him until death do us part. No woman should pretend to be incompetent at life in order to satisfy a male ego. A Man that needs their woman/wife to be helpless in order to feel like a man is weak.
That's not what he is saying, he is saying you should feel feminine, around the man, it will never work the other way around, it has to happen naturally, if your pretending to feel feminine, well then that's just a bad thing to do for you and the man,
I don't think that's what he meant. A woman is hypergamous by nature, so she wants a man who is stronger than her and makes her feel safe. So a woman who is very smart capable and confident needs a man who is twice as strong and confident. If a woman has to lower herself in order to make some man feel strong, it already means this man is not a good match, and such a marriage has less chance to work out
Where does he say for a woman to be weak or to pretent? You haven't understood what he is saying. Listen again without personal agenda and your heart and soul will hear him.
@@C.C.369 thank you. We did know each other as we went to the same church. I noticed most how my husband treated others. He was kind to all. Opened doors for every girl not just the pretty ones and was always positive. I asked him to a girl's ask dinner when my mom pushed me. It was nice, but awkward because I was crushing on someone else. He took me out to dinner as a thank you. This was in December. After Christmas my mom, again, bugged me to take him some goodies. I did and we ended up dating nearly every day for 2 weeks and then he proposed. I fell in love with his strong testimony and commitment to family which is what I wanted. He'd come from a broken home and to serve God and family was his highest priority. He'd spent 2 years on a church mission despite family opposition. Of course there have been difficulties, but no regrets. I love my choice and he loves me and we've stood against life together. Our children surprised us with a party for our Anniversary at a park for our 40th. We still have lots of things, but I feel blessed.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. When you hear a man saying about his ex: I met her some weeks ago and she is getting old. This is the moment you must get rid of him.
I am not jewish, let along religious but love your discussion. You are putting your nuts on the line to make life altering commentary. Noone is ever 100% correct in argumenmentr 100% wrong, but I find your commentary to cut through the BS to show the real topic. Please keep your conversation going.
Thank you for this! I honestly wish I had realized this 15 years ago when I was 30. That's when I met the women who made me feel truly confident inside and knew I wanted to lead and have a family with deep inside. Yet in my ignorance this led me to be confused and terrified given my life circumstances at the time. There was plenty I could have given her if only I had been more togather and could have prioritized her. She also told me how happy and comfortable I made her feel. Yet given my back and forth she soon got involved with another man whom she had a troubled relationship with but he at least had a degree of practicle maturity that I sadly didnt at the time. She was someone whom I was truly ready for by the time I was in my mid 30's, and that's also when she became single again. But instead I let my insecurities and doubts about her, and my own need to keep "improving" myself and look for better opportunities get the better of things. Now she is finally married to another (that man she had had the troubled relationship with, they got back togather and I just hope they are happy togather, I know it's at least posible). But I still feel sad about it and sometimes worry for them, knowing there is nothing I can do now. I don't know if I'll find another who makes me feel that way again (I'm sure not just the same but that can be okay) but at 45 I want to be married with kids before I turn 50. I have other plans leading up to that and I am putting dates on things now! I don't always do them on time of course, but sometimes I do and I keep track now and don't give up like I oftentimes used to!
Very interesting introspection on your part. But why, "But I...sometimes worry for them.."? It's a bit peculiar and suspect that you should carry any worry about another couple on your shoulders. It's not your job.
@@ellasoes8325 um, you know it's normal to at least occasionally worry about someone one still cares about. Yes, I do still care about her, but I also fully accept and respect their marriage. Such feelings are perfectly normal and you have no idea what you are talking about if you think otherwise. I don't carry worry on my sholders about them nor let it control my life as it's not my responsibility.
@@ellasoes8325 also I think you misunderstand. I have no reason to think anything bad is happening at present. I just care about others in my life and indeed from my past, even strangers. Actually we ARE supposed to love and indeed care about our neighbors as ourselves. It is generally not our job to intervene, with exceptions of course, but it is our spiritual and moral responsibility to care, just in case and as a matter of general principal, -about everyone around us!!!
I did the same thing at 18. I try to forget but I cringe every time the memory pops. Sometimes I think I'll never receive that much trust again. A first and last moment.
As a woman, married for more than 20 years, not confirming. Yes, I can trust my husband, but go wherever HE wants me to go? No, thanks, I prefer MY wants. And I chose particularly that guy mostly because he listened to them more than any other.
Rabbi Friedman,I do believe you're right. Fun fact:: my beloved husband was called Nathan Friedman...we met in Australia where I had gone on a whim, intending to stay for three months, see the country, and leave. 12yrs, and one son later we came back to England. Sadly he contracted cancer which metastasised all the way up his spine, into his brain. He was in such agony we were both happy when he died. I shall never marry again because our love was too deep.
This Rabbi offers the best explanations about women and men’s fillings! He is better than all psychologists, familly advisers, mental coaches, etc. All of them must learn from him!
Rabbi, so appreciative that you keep speaking the truth that men and women ARE different. Such a silly mixed up world we live in when we try and pevert what is natural. And the next generation will be even more mentally muddled because of the confusion a few are creating now, for their own agendas!
Actually, Natural Law dictates that women can play both roles, and men also, but to a lesser degree. Everyone has a feminine and masculine side, nobody is completely one or the other.
The question is - What do we do when stuff hits the fan? It seems the agitation increases and soon the anti-traditional elite will make it's move to bring our societies down.
Its not only important for a man to feel like a man just as Rabbi described but also a man should make a woman feel like a woman like Rabbi described. If its both, the relationship will live through the test of time. If not, then the one not feeling it will break apart. Simple!
NO expectations and wow it doesn’t matter what he looks like! He makes me feel just like that! He makes my heart smile! I miss him so much and I need my husband and I love him and he stops me I. My tracks! I don’t want to be his mom that was something that bothered me! But when he was making me feel secure I felt great and then when he was more confident and consistent I felt secure! I need security! I now feel better about myself and us and can trust again! I just wanted to know he is going to stay consistent and not so impulsive! I love him and I am thrilled to do what I want to do less scary!
Fabulous advice, as usual, Rabbi. You are so wise. I wish I'd heard this in my 20's; would have saved me a lot of time. When I finally met my husband, I knew it on the first date...We both started so awkwardly, but then, after talking twenty minutes, it felt like we'd known each other for YEARS. And here's the kicker...our mothers set us up! Parents really do know best! We've been happily married for 25 years.
Where does the Rabbi get the idea that you are not allowed to say a man and a women are different? No-one says you cannot say that. But you can also say that lesbians and gay men are are different again. The Rabbi also makes many statements on what makes a marriage "work" in his terms. Basically a submissive woman! Time to move on people.
All lessons how to dance alone fail, when you start dancing together. Rabbi you gave very wise advise about the mood to start this "dance". Please continue and suggest how to actually move when ... and when...
Love this man 🙏🏽♥️ beyond blessed to have married my husband who is the greatest man I’ve met and who made me an honest woman 🙏🏽 we are finally ready to expand our family 🐣🐣🐣
Basing a relationship on what a woman feels is a bad idea from the start. It isn't as if their feelings ever shift. Making him responsible for her emotions, "he makes me feel..." just allows women to outsource responsibility to the man. As is often the case, the man is human and will falter & face adversity in life. When he is going through that & she no longer feels safe, that's just a convenient excuse for her to ditch him, usually when he needs someone the most.
Maybe this made sense 40-50 years ago but the game has changed drastically. Women don’t really want men. They never did. They use to need men but not anymore. Now that they don’t need men anymore their expectations and standards are drastically inflated. They all want the top 10% of men.
I married my best friend who I couldn’t see living my life without. He also turned me on…..it wasn’t for his looks, or even his boundless ambition…..he was funny. I was very young when I met him and I already turned down two proposals ( both lawyers) I went for the charming one who worked in Advertising. It wasn’t an easy life. I spent many nights alone taking care of three children while he was traveling or entertaining clients. It was my choice, I knew exactly what I was in for. Good luck and I wish you all much happiness.
Rabbi, I prayed as you said. I met the girl and I was over the top ... happy as I haven't been in my life ... I even wrote the prayer on her blog ... I felt fulfilled but nothing happened :) she didn't replied to e-mails, messages ... :)
I was married twice, neither of my husbands were like you mentioned. Now I am a widow and I am thinking: why did I have to be the man in my marriages? But I had to because someone had to do the hard things and they didn’t want to do it
Understand what your saying. But, the problem is you, it has always been you. I been there. It's an ancestor demonic spirit that possessed you. Your the problem. It's a circle I had to interrupt. It's not that they were not manly. The problem is you had to sacrifice your feminine role. You did what you shouldn't never done. Give up your feminine purpose. And you would of fond someone manly. Minute 5 he starts explaning this. It was never their decision it was your decision. You decide whom to marry. You married unmanly men. Maybe you didn't have the paternal figure you need it in your life. Your pattern was unmanly man.
yes: i find psychology interesting and have read far too many books to remember authors by name, but she is a world-famous psychiatrist with numerous best-selling books and educ doctorates etc... she explains it in a very detailed and plausible way. We are much more complex than we realize, and we intuitively/sub-consciously know what we need [are drawn to], before we realize it. we are more than just a rational mind.
I met a woman like that 2 years ago. Super chill, was easier (not easy, but easier) to just be myself.....................................but was divorced with a kid, and 5 relationships prior. Yeah, fuck that, I'm still single.
We are "not allowed" because WE allowed them to not allowed us say what we want to say. Personally I will say WHATEVER I feel like logical and real and I will NOT allow ANYONE to forbid me that.
Now, I know why I divorced, and why I live alone, with no partner in sight. I am very independent, because my Father taught me to "Be independent." At 67, I know I will be on my own, for the rest of my life. B"H, I have children and grandchildren. HaShem granted me that blessing. I guess I never wanted a husband, or, rather, never knew how to be a wife. My husband was weak, and I was strong.. I wanted children. I don't know how to be married. Am I selfish? Maybe. My own parents fought, My Mother married, at 17, to get out of the house, back in the 1950s. I'm a product of that.
I'm a guy who is a personality that is go go go and always on the move. I like high stress environment work and the feeling of taking on the outside world. I want a woman I can come home to that will unwind me. A woman with a soothing presence like the soft glow of the moon. I want a woman I can sit next to and she will calm me down from all that agitation I face and literally lower my blood pressure just by being there. A soft gentle motherly feminine woman who will let me be masculine.
I leave it up to god. I ask god for someone and he gave me my husband. So i ask god. Should i stay with my husband. Im waiting for the anwser. should i stay or should i go.
In three days my darling husband and I will have been a couple for 39 years… our 38th wedding anniversary is in November. Yes, there have been ups and downs but we have both married our best friend. We both bring out the best in each other, and loving each other is easy. We have always felt at ease in each other’s company and would do anything for each other. He moved in with me in about two weeks, we moved from the share-house to a place on our own another 10 weeks later. He proposed when we’d been a couple for a year, and we were married about five months later. We’ve hardly spent any time away from each other, since… by choice, because we have such a mutual love, respect and affinity. We are truly blessed. The two of us make one entity made of the purest of love. May you all find “the one” meant especially for you 🙏🏼❤️
It is an artificial construct. People are just people. Life doesn't respect genders. It is tough to both and needs surviving. Why should women make themselves weak when life needs them to be strong, why lose their survival skills to please men?
Dear, may I say you can give yourself that feeling! You have to know how it feels to be a woman in the first place so you can recognize the feeling within yourself when sb ignites it in you. - Pittying yourself won't get you there though ;-) From woman to woman I always suggest *regular* ✨SPA DAYS.✨ Like a date with yourself or other women. You're a woman! You got the right to feel beautiful, to get pampered, to get massages on a regular, to wear whatever makes you feel female and pretty. Also nowerdays there are a million books by women for women, books with the soul purpose to EMPOWER you in being a woman. Just go to the next library and grab one of em and see what resonates when you read it on your next spa day 😄❤️ All the best wishes, C. C.
This is all anyone needs to end up with a great partner. You do you. If you don’t know what you is, figure it out. Or enough to where you have some direction in life. As a man, or a woman. As a man, have direction and lead. As a woman, follow the man you can trust. If you can’t trust him, ask why. Love this video. Puts everything I have heard or listened to into perspective. Makes me feel good about myself and what I want to do. Find a wife. Well… I don’t care about marriage exactly. But I do want to be with someone. Like the idea anyway.
Thank you Rabbi. You are right. We must speak and act with clarity. There are evil forces out there that want to blur our vision and destroy our purpose.
