The Real Way To Build Confidence 

Full episode here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-K2tGt2XWd9Q.html

"You can't feel your way into acting better; but you CAN act your way into feeling better"

"Action breeds confidence & courage. Inaction breeds doubt and fear" - Dale Carnagie

“It’s more effective use actions to improve your thinking than to try and use thinking to improve your actions.”

“Stop breaking promises to yourself” YESSS

There's a line in the film "The Equaliser". Denzil's character is training his colleague to be a security guard, and he tells that guy: "Progress, not perfection." Perfection is very difficult to reach, but progress can be made easily.

Like many others in this comment section, it's like he's addressing me exactly. That's me. I sabotage myself and break promises to myself all of the time.

This is what I needed to hear. Watching endless videos in the name of 'improvement' won't help, but doing what you have promised to yourself will. Thanks mate.

Action is the first step, no matter how small. I started this by making sure I went to sleep on time and woke up early 3 times in the week. Now it's every day, and it feels amazing

There are days i dont wanna go to the gym but i force myself to go. Havent regretted that, not even once.

So simple, but such good advice. Learning to trust yourself and proving that you’re someone that you can count on is invaluable. I’m working on it.

ACTION HAS TO COME FIRST HELL YEAH

Action conquers fear…

Move a muscle, change a thought!

This is some good advice. Here's the best advice I can offer to someone who suffers from procrastination due to depression: make a written list of all your tasks that you need to complete, even if it's as simple as cleaning out your room. Make sure you complete at least ONE task a day. Problem you face by leaving tasks to compile is that the list gets bigger and you're overwhelmed. If you do a few of these tasks, starting with the most basic, you'll end up having an empty list. This will relive so much pressure off your shoulder and reduce your anxiety.

Tried going full positive for just one month straight. _Everybody_ around me, home, work, strangers & my own children were _absolutely_ ready to kill me! So, I had to stop, for my _own_ safety. 😂😂😂

I think there's a saying that goes actions speak louder than words and a good night's rest comes from a hard Day's work.

I feel what has always worked for me is changing the way I say certain things to myself. What many people do is that they plan to make changes or improvements in their life by saying the phrase "I am going to do this" or "I have to do this". As human beings what happens when we do that is we subconsciously feel like we are forcing ourselves to do something we don't want or need. And as creatures of free will we can never give our best when we feel like we are being forced. So we have already made the act to improve a lot more difficult than it has to be before we even start. What I think is a better approach is to change the phrase from "I am going to do this" to "I want to do this". "I want to wake up at 7 am tomorrow", "I want to go the gym today", etc. And it might be difficult initially because our words are not really matching the way we feel. But after repeating this a few times what this ends up doing is gradually programming our minds into thinking that these are not things that we have to do but are things that we want to do, hence making it a lot easier.

This is so true it comes down to self betrayal, you have a soul and it wants things use your brain to figure them out and your body to go do and experience

Thanks Chris, i think i needed this. Amidst alot of turmoil and fickle life circumstances one needs words that kick you in the ass from time to time...the way you word it also makes it easier to accept, thanks for that man and your awesome work :)

And break things into smaller pieces and do it piecemeal. Chris is right about what he’s saying

I agree if you had to pick between affirmation & action, action is the more crucial of the two however some people are crippled by fear & need affirmation to get going & keep going.

Chris, you are a godsend. Watching your podcast and clips that are posted by you or your team are just a breath of fresh air and motivate me to thrive to be my better self.

Looking back at items checked off of one's "To Do List" (even if they are small items) can help tremendously in this regard.

Winning action have to come first

This gets tricky when you're a scapegoat raised by a narcissist. Their very survival was dependent upon taking on the role of being a failure. Feeling anything good about themselves will feel like a mortal threat. Feeling pride, or confidence, or accomplished is too dangerous, and will be crushed which will further reinforce the tragically necessary feeling of worthlessness. Gotta take it slow, be aware this will happen every time you start feeling good about yourself, and slowly retrain your nervous system that these feelings are safe. Internal Family Systems is an excellent model to help with this.

Yo this is actually really good insight and advice. Thanks dude.

This is so true. Little successes lead to big ones. If you haven't had a win in a long time, it creeps into your mentality. You can just build yourself up with little wins which will give you the confidence to reach further.

Doing what you say you're gonna do is key

I don’t watch Chris religiously every day or every week but somehow he has this habit of popping up on my feed with the exact info I needed to hear when I needed it. Great content man, really inspiring and guiding

Omg. I feel called out. Even when i try to think positively and try to be nicer to myself, i just think im gaslighting myself into being ok with my current state. Like i need to be harsh to myself in order to be honest and objective.

I think this kind of advice is great for people who aren’t already very high achieving. In college I was extremely high strung and high achieving, stressed as fuck, as had an intense hatred of myself. In that circumstance it wasn’t about proving to myself I’m a good person by doing more. I was already doing too much. In that instance it really was a slow and brutal process of consciously recognizing my negative self talk and deliberately correcting it. Over and over and over. For years. Now I’m in a lot better place.

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). The key is not to bee silent so az to avoid hurting someone's Confidence the key is also not to shower a person in only positive feedback that wud build their Confidence r worse to lie to a person so that their Confidence increases the key is to communicate the tRUTH to them in a way that considers r caretakes their Confidence

This is why i looking up mental health videos. You will find the one you need to hear and the ones you cant unhear!

Totally agree, I’m sick of being told to live laugh love myself into confidence when I hate myself more than anyone ever could. I try to tell myself I accept myself into believing it but I never will, I came here for the final straw of trying to help myself. Let’s try it your way and see what happens I guess, I’m at my end limit.

Don't try to think positively, just act.

Don't make up the positive talk. Start with what is true. I suck at keeping my house clean. But I'm smart. I have a good job. I'm successful. I'm kind. Then, the things you don't like, work to change those. Become someone you can be proud of. And keep the true positive self talk coming. Don't bullshit yourself. But notice your strengths.

Thank you so much. I’m starting a new job today and truly appreciate your advice.

True! Facing fears and taking action!

That is the cold hard truth. It’s our actions that make a difference, not wishful thinking.

This is SO true. You can only think so lowly of yourself when you know for a fact that you’re taking meaningful, impactful action on a regular basis. When I first graduated from college I was jobless, aimless, and constantly battling crippling self-esteem. Since then, I’ve become a teacher (I had basically zero qualifications to do so when I first started.) 1) My work is truly difficult, but I do it and do my best anyway, and 2) I’m committing my daily life to cultivating growth and success in others. I can’t imagine doing more tangibly meaningful work, and the respect I have for my work has translated into respect for myself. ❤

^the thinking man no one but himself thought we needed

I have found the best way for me to deal with insecurities is to get stacks of cash. The more stacks, the better I feel about myself. No relationships, no happiness, just stacks of cash to throw at every problem. So far it's been working, but to each their own 😆.

Competence builds Confidence

I needed to hear this today!

Deliberate doing nothing is deliberate doing something

Actions speaks louder than words

I love this man.

action speaks louder than words, even to your own mind

I needed this !! Yess to all he said

It would never cross my mind that you've dealt with this feeling.😢

From the bottom of my heart, thank you I did not know that's what I needed

Amen to that.... I've had that for 40 years...

Chris, thank you, inagine the amount of people on the verge who you are helping. Is there even anything greater than that?

Thank you. Truly Grateful Struggling with this at this Moment

finally! someone understands

Thanks Chris. I needed this reminder.

I'm always glass is half empty kind of guy, I have to fake being positive till I make it. But we can't change who we are at core, we can only manipulate it daily.😅

"Action Builds Confidence and self-esteem, Regardless of any Outcome" the late ARC Example: I say hello to an attractive woman I pass in the street and she snubs me, it takes nothing away from how I feel good about myself having overcome any anxiety to act.

Exactly! 👍🔥❤️⭐

Have the condidence of being yourself.

Can’t express how much I needed this…

Yes, thats what i have learned the hard way over the last few years

Thank you, liked and subscribed. While I'm a successful software Executive this is the first time I've ever heard of, "Imposter Syndrome" which after receiving coaching from my COO this morning, I realize that's what's been ailing me my entire life. Now it's time to fix it. Thank you again.

Spot on!!!! Great advice.

Great tips. Thank you for giving examples.

Where is the full episode?

I’m that person as well. Thanks for this. Very informative

The guy is speaking of complete experience

Very helpful information! Thank you! 🎉🎉

Thank you for this!

It's all about having unwavering self respect and self love. You need to do whatever is required for you to esteem yourself. Whatever will make you feel absolutely 100% self assured, happy, at total peace, and totally comfortable in your own mind without anyone else.

Needed this ❤️🙏🏿

JUST DO IT

Emotion follows action, not the other way around.

So true.

This is such a GREAT piece of advice!

Needed this today

Thanks Chris

I hate how much this resonates

So I'm doing this thing where I'm just trying to look at various sources that tell me about confidence. And I'm starting here. What do you need to build confidence: 1) Action: Eat the biggest frog first. Before showing anyone else, show yourself that you're in control.

solid advice.

It's more about having a fuck u mentality and putting yourself first

Great advice 👍 ❤

Solid advice!

Maybe certain people prefer doing it that way, but I'd just point out that concrete proof of action is used as a measurement metric for symbolic reassurance here, as in you don't have to feel insufficient if you didn't write a blog per day, and that absence of action is not in itself proof to the contrary that you have nothing to show for. You can do action to achieve results, but you can also feel assured with or without meeting an action quota.

wow, thanks i needed it

I don't understand why so many successful people are talking surface level things like this, maybe they haven't explored themselves enough. Lack of confidence is a problem of lack of power, not lack of motivation. You have motivation, but don't have power to act upon your desires. You feel like loser not because you hit the snooze button. You feel like loser because your feel you are doing something wrong for hitting the snooze button and you have to explain it to others. To gain confidence you need to stop explaining your actions to others. For that you need to be independent with money first. The sense of autonomy is what you need.

Wish it. Want it. Do it.

This man loves himself

Thank you.

Yes!!

Thank you. I know this is right

Thanks gang

Insufficiency of what?

That's epic Chris 💪🙏 How I make everyday a great day 🎉

I used to be confident in myself, but i dont know what happened to me growing up

Awesome advice

Setting alarms cleaning a room doing the dishes are not sufficient enough to believe in success out side of the home. I measurably do well but its just not good enough.

Bro!! You spoke to me on this!!! Is there a long form discussion of this on your channel?