THE REALITIES OF AN EATING DISORDER - WHAT IS IT LIKE? IT DESTROYS LIVES - ANOREXIA RECOVERY 

Gosh you really made me think of my life choices with an eating disorder. Like no one has ever made a such impression on me before. You’re truly inspiring and one of my biggest inspirations

I’ve been struggling with my eating since I was around 14 (31 now) and I’ve had times when I was “fine” throughout those years, but from watching your videos I’ve learnt so much and today I made the choice to go and see a doctor about it. I want to thank you so much Elzani , for sharing your journey , the highs and the lows. You are changing the way people see eating disorders and the way we see ourselves. You are truely inspiring and I’m rooting for you!

You have such a sweet comforting voice I am so proud of you your doing a great job defeating your eating disorder I love you so much elanzi your a beautiful human being

In previous videos you have spoken about feeling bad about wasting your life. You should monetise your channel so you will be earning your own money, and it may help with the feeling of wasting your life as you are educating people and improving editing and communication skills. It would also be a good distraction when your feeling anxious.

Have you tried eating avocado toast with philadelphia and eggs ? They are so good !! Or fudge cake (Best cake ever) ? Or pastries like "pain aux raisins" and "pain au chocolat" ?? They are so much yummy food out there !

Thank you for speaking so openly. My colleague at work seems very sick and I have been watching her ‘fade away’ for months. Sorry if that terminology isn’t a nice one. More in personality and self identity than figure, though she has hugely physically changed. I believe she is Orthorexic with other health issues that spurred her to initially drop a lot of weight in hospital. She gets very upset if we try to raise the issue so I’m not sure how to help, or if I can. I don’t think her family is as great as yours seems to be either. You’re so strong and self aware Elzani, I’m really proud of you and excited for you to regain you energy and live your best life. Thank you 💖

Elanzi you are a beacon of light for so many, keep going sweetheart. I am an obese woman and have found a dietary lifestyle that is beautiful and balanced for me and I feel satiated when I eat. Eating should be a pleasure for everyone, not a point of anxiety and depression and mental torture, as you mentioned. I wish you and the eating disordered people out there, the very best in their respective, recovery journey's! So much love, health and happiness to you all, I love garlic too 😋 & Philadelphia cream cheese 🤤💖 🌟🌞🌅🌌🌄

I have a friend who is fighting the same fight as you. I told her about your channel because she is fighting back too. You have courage, and a whole lot of fight as does my friend, She has her family and friends who love and encourage her to do what she needs to do to have the life she wants, Keep up the great work! What you are doing is also helping others. Be proud of everything you have accomplished!

I would never wish an eating disorder on anyone :( it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been thru.

IT IS ALWAYS A SNACK CHAT CAUSE YOU ARE A SNACK

i was just writing a piece about the reality of this illness, and some of the misconceptions, in the way that it's perceived by society. kindred spirits. 💫 elzani, i can see so much hope in you. i think you have a beautiful future ahead, with incredibly monumental things. promise me something? to never, ever, ever give up on yourself..on the true you. the soul of you. the little you you were born into the world as before this chapter came along and put your life on hold; that carefree child that still lives inside of you, who has dreams, waiting for you to make true, real smiles to be felt, and adventures to go on. you can and are going to get to a happier and more peaceful state of mind. keep fighting for that little you. she needs you. xo

o o f thiS. physically im still in normal range but i struggle so much and that's what people dont understand. any time i eat i feel guilty i feel like crying. its so tiring - restricting isn't pretty, it makes u more anxious, mentally exshausted and disgusted w/ yourself. it makes me so sad that people romatise mentall illnesses.eating disorders are not beautiful and dainty girls eating salads and drinking water. it's crying in the school bathrooms cause everything is overwhelming, it's freaking out over eating a banana or having anxiety attacks when your friends want to go out for food. it's not pretty.

I love your videos, they’re the highlight of my day

You're doing amazing Elzani. It's difficult but you'll get through this, you're smashing it girl!! 😁 you're so beautiful inside and out and don't ever doubt that. Keep at it, we're supporting you every step of the way! All my love. Stay strong X

Every single video you make resonates with me on such a deep, personal level. You flawlessly put into words exactly how I feel, every single time. You're amazing Elzani, thank you so much.

I favor these kinds of disclosure videos regarding recovery as well as the realities of having disordered eating. Brings me to my own past. I can relate to doing same process she is here, reasoning and rationalizing through my dysfunctional thought processes, trying to change them. She has gained so much more insight and seems so much more present recently, you can see she is almost returning to herself.

Just as i got the notification that you uploaded a video i got so excited! I absolutely adore your videos Elzani, they inspire me so much to try my best in my recovery, and you've been doing so so well! Dont give up! Remember, if you ever begin to get anxious or overwhelmed by whatever you are going to eat or have eaten, just think back to all the other big meals that you have eaten before and nothing happened, you were okay! Same applies to the current meal you will have too. ♡ Thank you for taking the time to make these videos for us,, we appreciate it immensely ♡

Hi Elzani! Thank you for these videos. They really help ❤️❤️❤️

I love your videos I see u grow more an more each one I love how u always try something new. Keep going your doing an amazing job.

Love and support from France. I’m proud of you 😊

You spoke so much truth about the different sides of eating disorders, there is often so much unseen, so much pain and suffering in your mind that no one can see. Thank you for putting that out there. You are such doing so amazing sharing your life so openly. You give me and so many others hope for a brighter and healthier future

Your snack chats are so original, and you are so well spoken. Your topics are very helpful as well, and you come up with many great ideas for them. Well done!

I love you so much, you have been such an inspiration for me♥️ Thanks for everything:)

knowing that everyone has there own problems and the fact you are brave enough to record your struggles and progress is uplifting. Going back and forth is the best you can do sometimes, but you’re still moving and getting stronger each time 💖

Although enjoy watching your vlogs, I also LOVE your chats! I get the feeling your helping others who are struggling, people who don't understand this disorder & yourself all at the same time...& I think it's brilliant!❤

I needed that real talk! Thank you so much, Elzani 💕 You're amazing!

you are so brave for sharing this journey with us and you talking about it and separating yourself from it just shows how you are taking control of your ED. You are smashing your recovery, keep going!!

Well said Elzani 👏🏼👏🏼, I’m a recovered weight now but you’re right, you don’t need to look Ill to be Ill, even though I’m recovered every single day is still a struggle, but because my brain is also recovered I manage to understand what i looked like, what I’m doing and keep control of my habits. You and your videos help keep me motivated every single day and I’m always excited for the next one, keep up the good work, you’re amazing 👏🏼💖x

Elzani I got so emotional remembering how much I suffered and how much I hated myself. I'm confident you will have so many more beautiful moments in your life!! you definitely have a light in your eyes again. And the rest of your body will follow. You'll have soft skin again. You'll have shiny beautiful hair again. You will laugh with your friends and make crazy memories again and find your mind wandering, but wandering off to beautiful things. You'll find a loving relationship and a purpose and someday have a family. Life has so much to offer and you are so so worthy.

You seem like such a sweet person, and you are doing great in your recovery!!

I’m so happy you uploaded, I love you so much Elzani😘😘❤️ I love your family too😁💗

Love your videos! You’re doing amazing and are such an inspiration. Stay strong, love!❤️

You’re so wise and self aware. Much love Elzani love your videos 💗💗💗💗

You’re doing amazingly Elzani ❤️ I suffer from an invisible ED (EDNOS and binge eating) and a lot of this really resonated with me! I look normal but I’ve lost 5 years of my life to the whirlwind of thoughts that you get bogged down in

i think these kinds of videos are a much lovelier, more positive, healthy-mind-setted version of muk-bang videos. i also thoroughly enjoyed just listening to your story while you enjoyed your food. it's very inspirational!

Hey Elzani, I know you get this a lot but videos and talks like these help me SO much. More than you probably realize. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have a beautiful soul and a lovely personality.

This is such a helpful and relatable video for many people..One thing i did and i regret was while i was trying to recover for the first time i was always thinking that people dont love me and they want me to go through this "torture"of recovery...for me in my first attempt to recover recovery felt like a punishment for me..and the fact that i was always avoiding everyone and i was saying "i hate you"to the people i love amd the people who they tried to helped me..one thing im very proud now is that i managed to maintain my weight for 9 months now(cause im fond of relapsing and going up and down with my weight)and get my period...its hard sometimes but i keep fighting

hey beauty, i really want to thank you. i was watching your vid while eating my lunch (sad cherry tomatoes and anthing else) but then you made me realize that's not worth it, this is destroying myself. then i went to the kitchen a made myself a healty-balanced lunch, and now i'm still here going to re-watch your vid because you're absolutely amazing and strong! thank you.

I loooove when you vlog. It literally makes my day 💙 but this was a really nice topic to touch on and I actually appreciate it

I can see you growing and becoming stronger in each video!! It’s like you’re transforming in front of my eyes and I’m so proud of you!! Lots of love❤️

You have such a beautiful personality and you so deserve recovery. I hope that you can have all the experiences that you've missed out on due to your illness because you deserve to be happy. I relate to the feeling of having wasted so many years of life to the disorder. Im 25 and have osteoporosis in my spine. I was weight restored pretty soon after my illness but then used exercise to keep my weight low (and although it was still within the healthy range, I was not heavy enough to get my period.) The doctors have said that the exercise has caused me to have the bones of an 80 year old. I just wanted you to know because it's so easy to switch disorders and you mentioned a couple of videos ago that you wanted to try a half marathon and that's what I used to do. Take care and we all love you and are rooting for you X

You are so sweet and I can understand what you're going through because I am too. Actually I've been trying to recover for the last 4 years but I'm getting stronger and I think we will all make it because no one deserves to live this way. Love youu lots Elzani and please be strong always💕❣️

You are amazing! Keep killing it!!!!

Elzani you’re such an amazing role model, i hope you find inspiration in your own words too 🖤 *Love from vegas*

Really so proud of you ❤️ Keep going!

Always waiting up for a upload from you. Love your videos Elzani 💜

Thank you for sharing Elzani!! Very enlightening. Stay strong!! PS - funny dance to the phone ringing

amazing once again Elzani!!

Thank you so much for this I subscribe to you not to long ago and you have inspired me so much through my eating disorder I really don't know how to describe it now cause it's in the past but not still away yet I am afraid to eat a lot at certain times I also as you said in your video tend to plan out everything my meals everything it gets quite annoying and I am afraid that my mom doesn't want to talk to me any more cause all I talk about is food. I do swell when I eat it gets to the point where i feel so bloated that i cant move .But I am doing the best I can. Hope you stay strong and keep going .☀️🌻💛

gotta eat snacks to look like a snack💜 love you elzani, you are gorgeous, smart, and amazing.

HI HUN,YOU'RE DOING SOOOOOO WONDERFUL XXXX such grown up words ,wise words xx thank you xxxxx

PS. please keep eating and getting better, you are so wonderful the world needs you!

I hope you're increasing your portions as the weeks go on, it helps a lot.

I really enjoy ur videos, and ur so right,u only have 1 life,and believe me its a precious gift,each breath is precious,,i know ur gonna do great❤

This just came out on the right moment...thank you...

Elzani thank you so much for continuously inspiring me in my recovery. I was planning on restricting today but this video reminded me of all the reasons why I need to fight this ed and keep going! Maybe I'll even challenge myself and try eating a hot cross bun!

Thank you so much you for sharing your story. It is very relatable.

Yummy that looks so delicious. I have to try soon . Thank u Elzani ☺🙏❤💪

I really want to go to England and give you a massive hug for being so strong and helping me be strong!! or maybe you could come to Australia and I could meet you and eat awesome food and have amazing experiences!

Love your lunch chat✨💗💪

I remember food being my one focus on life. Pretty much all I would think about. My brain is so much more free in recovery

I don't know.... But in many aspects you have the reason... I feel nervous but I know that I need to stop and start to recover. I have 15 years old and my anorexia story start in april 2019, that is no amazing but, thank u elzani you inspired and motivated me. I do my best in that....

Strength is loving yourself

You make some very good points. Something about restrictive eating disorders, the weight of the person doesn't matter nearly as much as the malnutrition - which may seem like the same, but it's not. I'm 'atypical', and above a "healthy" weight, and freeze constantly, have low blood pressure and pulse, osteopenia, turn blue, and have a lot of chronic health issues that are directly or indirectly related to decades of restricting (crazy family food rules started when I was very young). I'm older than your mom, and my emotional age is probably more in line with a teenager. It's a freak show in my head. So anyone who is struggling in a body that isn't obviously 'disordered', please get help, and don't waste your life being a slave to stupid food rules that will do nothing but kill you- at any weight.

Your doing amazing! Please dont give up! ❤️

I love your videos so much 💗

Well said. I found out that people never invited me out because of my eating disorder, but now I am taking back the control. X

I needed this. I’m a diabetic who wouldn’t take her insulin for food so it wouldn’t make me fat. it’s called diabulimia. i’ve almost lost my life over five times because i’ve done it. i used to be 240 pounds and when I found out I had diabetes I started losing weight randomly. I now suffer from another illness where when I eat, I get terrible diarrhea and this has caused me now to be under 100 pounds. i’m scared to gain weight. i’m scared to be fat again. I rather lose my life than gain weight. hearing you talk about this helps a lot. I don’t feel as crazy.

I really need to comment on this video! It' s true, I stood in your shoes once! I stopped having periods, so when I wanted to have babies later years, I struggled! Miscarried alot! I am 45 years old, had 3 back operations, knee operations, because I weakened my bones. And worst of al, I had a collectomy, an operation where they take out your whole colon, because it stopped working completely. I now know, anorexia is not worth it!!😢

You should do a "for-ages-merch"! 🤣 I love your videos. Keep fighting! Good night from germany. ❤

Love the song at 0:43❤️

Elzani you are so Unique ! You have such a charming, child-like way with you, and such a clever lady too! Your darling face and how it lights up when you try a yummy new food...soooo sweet!!!! :)

I love youre videos!

Would it be possible for you to do a video on your life before getting your eating disorder- what you used to look like etc??

Thanks great video

The pain: the hunger pains and the mental pain and the pain of just sitting down or lying in the bath hurts soo much

Mealtime musings? (Idea for what to call these eating with Elzani sessions.)

I love your channel. I'm trying to vlog about my recovery on my channel - you inspire me! Xxx

I think it's called a mukbang when u chat and eat on camera, not sure though LOL! I love you & your family! ♡ yeah bulimia has made my teeth extremely awful! ulcers in stomach, intestines issues, at times I gotta only due a liquid diet due to what I did to my digestion track, I'm in recovery, but still in recovery it is a struggle cause i try not to look at calories and i still do binge eating. I take 2 medicines so when I do eat so called normal, my intestines don't cramp up. you are a inspiration to me Elzani!

I suggest you to try to eat pasta with Philadelphia (or cottage cheese) and ham !! It’s delicious 😋

You are my stress relievers.. 😘

The day you get monetised I’m watching all of your videos 100 times!!!!!

The same thing happened with me. I fell when I was trying to run and smashed my phone and my face was ruined. It was really painfull. I was convincing my parents that I tripped but actually I don't know how it happened. They were worried that I lost conscious because I was so weak.

Mabey u could get into bodybuilding/weightlifting?Where u can apply control with calories and workouts, but it’s focused in a healthier way?

Maybe you could call it a Mukbang which I thought was eating and talking. I like your snack chats very much!

12:00 I get that reference

u are so brillant and beautiful! What do you wanna be when you'll be able to go to uni? Or to work?

I hope Eugenia comes across your channel!!

❤️😊

I feel like now that your mind is getting freer from your ed you have more mental clarity, idk just an observation!!

Is Philadelphia cream cheese? Like Philadelphia brand cream cheese?

*while doing finger guns*: "eating disorders kill... so make sure you kill the eating disorder; don't let it kill you." dorky and inspirational, as always lol. (: thank you for everything you're doing here. i look forward to all your videos, and judging by all the positive comments, a lot of other people do too! hope you have a great day.

❤️

we've all done the phone wiggle

Mental health is actually MORE important than psychical health beacuse mental health creates a million issues and usually will not leave unless it’s forced to

I still get mad at mt body because I fucking. Can't. Get. Skinny.

Look, at least you're not smelling food as much, as u've used to :) - Once u restore your weight, you'll get a better glimpse at how awful u've looked, ACTED/ BEHAVED... washing your hands = very OCD'ish = and veeeeery anorexic ( believe me, i know) Kisses, stay strong and one day you'll be as strong as I am now :) xoxoxo Elwira

I'm no professional but it seems to me that your main problem isn't the eating disorder per se, it's obsessive compulsive behaviors in general. I'm worried that the eating thing may just shift to some other obsessive behavior. SO you go to therapy? I don't think I've heard you mention it

You are very beautiful

I have a favour to ask of everyone: I just discovered *Cameron Yoder* on RU-vid (he also has an Insta) and I wanted to ask everyone, but especially if there any any other guys out there struggling, to check out his content - I know it has helped me so so much! It is so important to show guys that it is OKAY to struggle with eating disorders too, they do not discriminate. You're not alone ✌🏻 p.s. sorry if this is like advertising his account but we're all in this together and I want any other guys out there who are also struggling with EDs to be able to see that they are not alone and resonate more with the videos they watch ❤