The Reason You Can’t Quit….. 

I'm one day behind you. Had my last drink on the 1st. Day 2 down. Moving ahead. With your help.

As a musician I can assure you that your creativity is not sourced from cannabis and if anything you will probably play better without it. One thing that helps me when I’m trying not to use is Every time you make an excuse of why you should use come up with two reasons why you shouldn’t. Also I must say that mushrooms have helped me not care about cannabis, and at least get it off my mind so I’m not thinking about it all the time. Good luck and stay strong

Man... I can totally understand your situation even if I haven't been through the same things and I gotta say that was harsh to hear because I wouldn't have ever imagined, you can never guess what someone has been through and I'm sure it must have been awful so I'm sending you a big big hug and I wish you the best, truly. I don't have a heart condition, I do have CPTSD and autism. CPTSD as you can imagine comes from different traumatic events, specific ones that happened one time and others that happened more times, sometimes in a short span of time and also comes from basically situations or the "normal" day to day that I had at home or at school. I wasn't trully aware of some traumas after years later and before my 20's I knew I had dealed and was dealing with a lot of abuse but I didn't have a clue that I was already dealing with PTSD, I just knew that I was depressed, that I had anxiety and severe social anxiety (which now makes a lot of sense, it got better after time and I know that my weed addiction is making it worse again sometimes so that's a another reason now for me to stop). The austism diagnosis came when I was 23 almost 24 after being more than a year researching and talking to my psychologist who recommended me two experts to talk to, who finally diagnosed me. Before all of that, I always felt like there was something "wrong" with me and I knew that sometimes I felt, saw, did, experimented and understood things in such a unique or different way from the majority but never knew why. Also mental health was super taboo at home and school, I barely had friends and if I did it was mostly because we all had a lot of problems in basically every aspect of our lifes so we related to each other in a way not many could or did. Then weed came on the summer between my 3rd and 4rth year of highschool (I'm from Spain so I was 15 to 16) and it became a way of scaping, to get lost in music and films and art in general (when I knew that I already did that before smoking) and I had my first group of friends (some of them still are some of my closest friends) through smokig with them when we met and when we hanged out. Then I started 1st year of bachillerato, which is an optional but quite common two year academic courses with common subjects in every year and specific subjects you do only with your class (sciece, arts...). I did stage arts and in my class and the other one of the same modality you could make friends with literally anyone else that smoked. We all knew and joked about the fact that most of us wouldn't have started talking to each other if we didn't smoke, because we all were SO different and all 47 of us were new. So smoking "helped" me a lot with meeting people and eventually become close friends, with my social anxiety and, without knowing it at the time, masking. More like it would "allow" me to stop masking a lot of times because if I reacted in a "weird" way to someone or something, if I didn't speak or if I said anything "stupid", lost a social cue... it didn't matter. In small groups people would just think it was funny and not take it serious and if I feared rejection or my social anxiety got me the easy excuse for me was that I was stoned. And well as an aspiring musician I smoked to write and play but in the end I figured that the more I smoked the less I did it. Now that I'm in two bands and one of them is very serious and going great I'm seeing how weed affects my throat and my hability to play and I just don't want to allow weed to ruin this opportunity for me. Now I have a grouo of friends who truly support me and have had addiction problems themselves or don't have them but know what it's like, now I have so much knowledge that I didn't have before that helps me understand so much and helps me deal with my addiction and traumas in healthier ways because I'm aware that basically one of my first addictions was selfsabotaging and self harm and now I understand it. If my addiction has harmed and caused problems to someone it's always been me, because I knew how addiction harms those around and I really hated myself for most of my life, I'm still working on it in fact. So this is super important for anyone going through addiction struggles: now I can really say that I'm done with the vicious cycle of guilt and the shame that serves as another reason or excuse to consume because as addicts it's completely understandable that we might need help and we gotta admit it to ourselves and we gotta trully know that we deserve it. Man I just got a lot out of my chest and I know some of it is more for me than for anyone else reading it but yeah there's also some parts that go the other way around. I never mean to write such large comments and each one is longer than before... Anyway sorry and thank you so much

Artist, here...can very much relate to fear of creative death after quitting. It's been difficult, but I am determined to figure it out. This month, it's been a full year since I quit. I quit off and on for a few years before that. (smoked for 13 years) I view the times I 'tried' to quit as part of my quitting journey, and ultimately counted towards my now sober life. I appreciate the sincerity of your videos. You absolutely can do this. Quitting off and on is better than not trying at all. Sometimes I wonder if we need to go through a rocky process and absorb the ever-morphing thought, emotion, and tangible sensations of the 'in-between' before we become fully immersed into another perspective. It's almost as if we must negotiate with our own mind and body and wrestle with it for a while. I also had to distance myself A LOT from friends and people who would not serve me in my new choices. It felt abrasive to my heart, but ultimately it saved my soul. It sounds like your band mates don't hold you accountable, and we all NEED someone to hold us accountable in our weakest moments, otherwise it's like trying to sprint in hardening concrete, you'll try but only exhaust yourself in the end. That's a very tough decision, because it proposes the idea of having to *completely* change the structure of your current life, and threatens the vitality of how you provide for your family. Perhaps this is what really prevents you from taking that crucial step? And rightfully so, that kind of change is scary and rife with conflict. It would be worth it, however. :)

thought this wouldn't be relevant to me whatsoever but I'm so happy I watched this. you've been through so much and it's awesome that you are willing to share ur story with us. i learned a lot watching this and will probably check ur other content as well. ty

One of my biggest reasons for quitting is that it makes my heart beat super fast.

Well said. I tried making a short video as a log for myself to talk about why I want to quit and what my smoking cycle is like. I ramble more than you haha. I understand that when I try to quit and fail its not a complete failure, because the addiction took a long time to create, so it's going to take time to form the better habits. Everytime I say no makes it easier for me nextime to say no. Thanks for the information you've added to the description too.

You seem happier.

I've decided to wean myself of with tea, I'm making canna tea and my god, its such a blessing. Im using 0.6 for the whole day with no cravings to smoke. Wish i had have tried this way sooner. No cravings.i also have health issues and PTSD so i just dont think its possible for me. Its the inhaling smoke and tobacco that we roll joints with that bothered me so im super happy. I might stick to the canna tea.

So I travel quite often and where I go weed isnt legal, so ive been 5 months sober but sometimes I really get a little depressed without it. Ive also lived quite the tramatic life, which now still affects me years later, I often have breathing problems when I get nervous from someone just looking at me. Weed helps alot it makes me happy but its not a true happiness. When I smoke im just absent, I miss out on so many things, and its frustrating.

Its day 3 for quitting weed for me as well 🎉. It was rough today though, i was feeling depressed a few hours ago because of withdrawals

I got more creative after quitting.