Ash Hardell I think the best time to come out STRICTLY when its safe I think kids or teens or adults don't need a designated time to come out because it is purely for the acceptance of people you love because you already know who you are and that I feel is vital and personally most important. I don't think there's a right time I feel as though you do it when YOU'RE ready and they are just coming along on the journey with you to simply choose to continue to love you for being you and if it turns out they don't you just don't need to be around that person.
I'm 58 and came out as Asexual when I was 54. I've known I wasn't strait since I was a teen, but couldn't figure out where I fell on the spectrum because so little was known when I was growing up. I knew I wasn't Gay because I wasn't attracted to men, but I also wasn't attracted sexually to women. I just thought I was weird or hadn't meet the "right" person or some of the hundred other reasons idiots think about Ace's. Thank goodness we have people like you to spread awareness. It def changed my life. The most troubling thing I have had to deal with, coming out this late in life, is the people I have known for years asking me why I was lying to them all this time. sigh They tell you you're broken, then get mad when you're not.
Davy Dave I'm ace also.. but I'm also 13. Yay, people always tell me I'm crazy and not developed yet! Trust me all the girls in my class are slowly losing their virgintiy and I have NO interest in that. Also I'm Pan. Yay!
I'm fifteen, asexual, not out yet (except for a few very close friends) and getting tired of hiding from my family. My family has started to assume for themselves that I'm lesbian, and I'm too afraid to correct them.
I'm 13, I came out as Pansexual to my family a few months ago. My method of coming out was to make a Facebook post because my family is homophobic and I was afraid to do it in person. Once I posted my coming out thing my Aunt's commented that I was too young to be sexual anything. That really made me sad but then I stopped caring about their opinions on the matter and continued to be myself with the support of your content, Thank you Ash
I also came out at 13! It makes me happy when people say they've come out at my age because people have made me question myself and say 'it's just a phase' and things of that nature. It's nice to relate to people, so thank you for sharing this & I wish you happiness and safety❤️❤️
I came out last year at 17 to my parents as a lesbian by wearing a tshirt with "I'm fucking gay" written on it, and underneath that is a person wearing another tshirt saying "I love boobs" surrounded by other phrases all saying some variation of i'm fucking gay. It's my favourite tshirt
but it also meant that I could do it without actually having to say any words myself because I'm so bad at talking about things like that and I probably would've cried and then not done it,,,
Jack came out at 15, I came out as pansexual 21 and genderqueer at 24. In this vid we talk about our experiences. When do y'all think the right time/age to come out is?
Ash Hardell I, personally, don't think there is a "right age", its more like a right time for an individual. I came out as pansexual when I was 20, but about two years later I realized that lesbian was a better term for myself. Then I came out as grey gender to my girlfriend and myself some time last year, at 24 (which I partially have you to thank for but thats another story) But, like you I am still trying to figure out what my gender means to me. P.S. Thank you so much for making the content you make. ❤ I'm sure I'm not the only one you've helped.
Ash Hardell honestly i'm 22 and i'm STILL trying to figure out my sexuality so i applaud this young man for having the certainty of who he is at such a young age, when you know you just know...❤️
Well I came out to my friends as bi/pan at 17, I'm 21 now absolutely sure of my sexuality but haven't told all of my friends because it never came up and I don't think it's relevant idk.... and still haven't told my parents: we shall see where that one goes ^^' I think whenever you feel comfortable and you want to :) age doesn't really matter. And I think you are always allowed to change your labels whenever you want you discover more with experience and age :)
I came out as Pansexual when I was 16 to all of my friends and yet my entire family doesn't know or maybe know(?) because sometimes I give out hints. There were times when I wanted to be called "Bro" (Kuya in my Language = Older brother) rather than Ate (Older sister).. I think that there's no definite age on when to come out. I guess coming out should be done when you know that you have a safe place to go to. Like when everything goes wrong, you know where to go to. You have a back up so to speak.
I have you both beat! lol I'm only out to my sister and my bff and I'm turning 46 in a couple of weeks. At least I've started the process, but realize I have a long way to go.
I always think it's interesting when people talk about coming out "at" a certain age, because that implies that it all happened within the span of a single year. For me, it's been a multi-year process. I came out to my best friend (the first person I told) at 19, and now at age 21 I've only officially told 4 people in total. I'd like to finish telling those close to me by the end of 2017 and be "fully out" this year, though, so I'm excited to see how things go. Great collab with thoughtful questions!
I feel the same way, I came out to my mom when I was 13, when I was 17 to some friends, at the age of 23-24 I came out to my sisters and dad and I still feel I haven't fully come out. I also believe that everytime you meet new people you will have to come out at some point not necesarily when you meet them, so you will always be coming out. English is not my firsy language so I hope this makes sense.
same! I came out to my bi friend Selena when I was 14 and my gay friend George when I was 15. Since then, I am now out to at least 20 or 30 people, though I've only told a few explicitly that I am bi. I just came out to my parents about a month ago since I had a girlfriend, and I consider that my first official coming out. It is still really hard to come out to straight people. I haven't come out to any teachers, extended family, and many of my friends, and I know it will be a lifelong process. Coming out definitely does not just happen once, and that is exhausting, but it also forces you to be more confident in your identity and your ability to know yourself despite what people will think.
Okay, so I'm just gonna spill my heart out: I'm 15, and I came out as gay just before my 15th birthday. This was quite easy, since I live in Denmark, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 1933, I belive. I have reasantly read your book, and I stumbled across a definision of the identity agender, which I hadn't heard before: They reject the concept of gender entirely or think it is irrelevant for the personally. This was the closest, my expirience of gender had ever been defined, but then, when I turned to page 127, I found the lovely identity gender indifferent. It was like bells in the back of my head, and I thought "that is it! That's me!". I have never been so happy for an entire day, I think. Now I am going to come out to my family as gender indifferent (and technically androsexual) as soon as possible. Thank you so much, Ash, for letting me find this out about myself, and for expanding my lgbt+ knowledge.
I am 28 now, but I cane out when I was 15/16, was completely disowned by my family (trans woman). Definitelty was not easy, had to get a job and an apartment.
Talk about "Not like the other girls" But on a serious note, wow. To pursue your identity at such a young age, facing such hardships is truly incredible. Congrats!
I came out at the age of 15 as a lesbian (now I am 19 years old) and I felt safe to come out because I knew that my friends aren't idiot's and I no longer lived with my parents at that age. I know coming out as a lesbian is not the same as coming out as a trans person but I think you should only come out when you feel ready and safe (age shouldn't matter) Great video Ash! Greetings and love from Germany💙
eilony09 I a lot of people will have your back, wether their on the internet or in real life, if it's family that can be tough but you know who you are, and you don't have to 'come out' like pulling someone or a few people to the side and coming out that way, it could just be correcting someone when they say that they "can't wait for you to get a gender specified partner or that "they want you to hurry up and date someone" whatever happens, there are going to be people who have your back
eilony09 I know I'm just 13 but when I was afraid to come out (as BI) I just told myself that it didn't matter. Why does it even matter if we'll all be gone one day and when I stopped caring it was a lot easier. Best of luck ❤️❤️
I'm 43 and gay and have still not come out, as my immediate friend group and my family are homophobic, as are most of my colleagues. I genuinely fear being ostracised at work and possibly disowned by the family. my advice is: do it only if you feel that you can do so safely. living a lie is a terrible thing for your own mental state, but being hurt physically or abused verbally can be worse.
Hi. I'm a girl and...i'm only 12. And I haven't really come out yet, because considering that i am 12,, i'm still questioning my sexuality. However, I sort of came out as panromantic at 11-12, I've never explicitly said i'm panromantic (Mostly in fear of them not knowing what it is) but my mom occasionally brings it up and I discuss ideas like being attracted to people regardless of gender identity, etc. Mostly I haven't had a real "coming out" event because I already know that my immediate family and at least one of my aunts are very supportive, so I don't feel a need to. My mom and I are actually going to a pride march this sunday!! No one really cares but I just felt like saying it, haha. And for all young people like me who have homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, etc. parents, just know that me and many other people believe you are valid
mediocremaddie Ik how you feel I'm 12 to and I'm lesbian and kind of questioning but I'm pretty sure I am .I'm not out but I do have a big crush on one of friends so that is totally not awkward at all .
I'm also 12 but I am just going with my gut about my sexuality. So according to my gut I am demisexual but I feel like Is till need to figure out my romantic orientation. Although I am using panromamtic as my romantic label for now. It could always change but I feel like it fits me so until I find a better fit I am a demisexual panromamtic
I came out at 16 as bisexual and then probably at uh 19? as genderfluid to my mom. My dad probably has no idea what genderfluidity means and I think he doesn't really have to know. All he knows is that I like to dress "like a boy" sometimes. edit: Oh right I am 22 now!
Adding to that I also found you when I was much younger you're one of my favorite youtubers and I enjoy the analytical discussions you have about things in the community I am a masculine presenting genderfuid person I identify on the trans spectrum and I am most comfortable being seen as male
I came out as bisexual when I was 16 or 17, I can't remember which. Since then I have decided to describe my sexuality as queer, and explain it as polysexual. I'm still in the process of settling in my sexuality; becoming comfortable with it and understanding it. When I first came out, I didn't really experience any negativity. Everyone was kind of like, oh okay! What I've noticed since then is that my identity is often sexualised and can lead to some inappropriate conversations such as coworkers - whilst on the job - asking me about my experiences with women etc. Also, I have had difficulty explaining my definition of polysexual and how it best describes how I feel. A few days ago I felt quite frustrated and insecure discussing it; I was speaking with somebody who identifies as pansexual, and they felt that my identity was somehow discriminating against other genders because their definition of polysexual does not extend to all genders and thus has exclusionary undertones, whereas my definition doesn't need to go that far or get that specific - attraction to 'many' genders is correct for how I feel and that definition is enough for me at this point.
Another "ancient" here! I came out to myself at 25 last year, and have been in an ongoing process of reconciling my sexuality with my faith as a Christian. It's been an interesting journey, but RU-vidr's like yourself with great LGBTQ+ content have made things SO much easier to learn about a plethora of topics as well as answer many of my questions along the way.
I know this is a really old comment, but I'm in my 20s now and found Transmission Ministry Collective, a group specifically for trans, genderqueer, and questioning Christians, and it's been great! I'm only out to two people IRL, but I'm glad there are more resources now, even though far-right propaganda has also spread further.
I go to an all girls catholic school as well and most people are silently homophobic so props to jackson for coming out as trans it's been quite a ride for me and luckily I only have one year left
Olive.Leila I’m currently 12 and came out to my friends and current gf a few months ago and then my mom a few weeks ago,but my mom told my nanny and auntie and her friend with out telling me!;(
Olive.Leila HEY! it’s okie I just turned 12 and came out to some friends. Also I’m planning to come out to my parents soon. Can you give me tips how you came out? Thanks!
@@cameronkirstein First have an idea of what you want to say, some sexualities and romantic identities are less known so if you aren't gay, lesbian, or homoromantic, you might need to be prepared to answer questions. Second, remember that you are important and this is who you are and you will always love yourself. Do it someplace where you feel comfortable, taking a couple deep breaths can help you get a little less flustered. I just came out to my mom as asexual and aromantic and I am awful at explaining things so I found some youtube videos about my romantic and sexual identities to help. As far as gender goes I am cis so I can't help:(
I came out to my friends when I was 11, I’m now 12 and I plan on coming out at the end of school and I’m so. Freaking. Scared. And I, don’t, know, why!
I came out to one person when I was 15 in 2013. It was sports day at school and they told everyone including the teachers who told my parents 'for my own safety'. I thought as he was a Christian I could trust him... obviously not 😐 I couldn't be in a happier place now though ☺️
They say things come into your life at a moment when you need them and I needed this video in this moment so thank you ash for always being an inspiration and helping me to come to terms with who i am
I'm not sure you'll see this comment. But... I'm French and this type of video is what we miss here, so I'm really really thankful for what you're doing. You made a lot of changes for my life. I don't know how to thank you. But. Thank you
Apparently when I was 5 I came out as lesbian and forgot. When I came out as bisexual at 13 my mom told me when I came out at 5 and that she already knew. The last time I came out was at 14 as pansexual and genderfluid and my family and friends were supportive.
gravityphanschronicals I came out around a month ago, about a week after I knew, I just couldn't keep it to myself and I knew my friends would be accepting (considering most of them aren't straight lmao)
abbie types in lower case because thats edgy me too!!! I felt weird because I thought I was the only straight person in my friend group which is wrong I am ace/aro lol
When I was 14 I came out as a lesbian to my best friend at the time, she then told a girl who had bullied me since we were kids and within an hour suddenly everyone knew, even the teachers (I'm from a small town) and suddenly the bullying went from just silly girls making dumb comments or shoving me in the hall, to very real physical abuse. I was so scared that I never told my mum about it, almost two years ago we moved to a much larger town and everyone instantly welcomed me with so much love and kindness that I was able to accept myself once again and I had never felt so liberated...I am now 17 and it really does get better x
Ashh!! On Jackson's channel you mentioned that you first thought you were gay when you were younger and then realised you were pan. I'd really love to hear about that, since barely any youtubers have done a video on that yet.
I'm 12, came out to a close friend at age 11 as homoromantic asexual and later as genderfluid, because I really don't know what I am and I don't really care my gender I'm just me if you get that. Anyways, my friends make me feel safe, I'm constantly 'hinting' my asexuality with like "wHY DO PPEOPLE CHOOSE TO PENETRATE OTHER PEOPLES GENITALS IN A BIG SWEATY LOTIONY SEMEN SWAMP" and whenever somebody brings up the word straight in any context I say something such as "lol cant relate." My new best friend, who has gay parents, is accepting obviously and my parents are the kind of people that make friends with moms with gay fashion designer kids and watch RuPaul's Drag Race. I KNOW IM SAFE ITS JUST I CANT sAY IT BECAUSE IM JUST SCAREDaOFm dnkdj. But my real question is, should I come out this summer, this winter, or next year on spring break when my birthday arrives?? wow i just overshared my whole life
Honestly, there is no easy answer. Coming forces a lot of introspection which in the long run is a good thing as it makes you comfortable with who you are. Its ultimately for you to decide. This may not help but there is an analogy of life you might find interesting. It goes, when you're young you care what other people think of you. As you grow older, you stop caring and when you're old, you realise that no one cared about you, to begin with as they were too busy worrying about what others thought of them. Coming out is a lifelong process; no one said it was easy.
16, asexual and demigirl, still in the closet irl (only my two closest friends know) and sadly, can't get my hands on a binder because of that. Also gotta bear the sex talk at school without saying a thing...
I'm a 13 year old trans boy and I came out a few weeks ago. My mum was super supportive, although she was a little doubtful that these feelings would last. Things are looking pretty good.
So I'm 26 and I'm bi and married, but I haven't come out to my family or most of my friends. Part of me is worried that it will be brushed aside, since I'm married to a man. It makes me wonder if my identity is even valid. And as someone from a very religious family with anti-gay sentiments, I'm not sure if I even should. tldr: coming out can be really, really complicated even when you're 'older' and financially stable
I came out as gay at 27 and realized I was non-binary at 46. I am 48 now and it has been a very long road to find myself. I still use she/her pronouns because it's been my norm for all these years and changing to a non-binary gender marker on my paperwork would take a long time. I applaud everyone who can make their transtion in this more accepting age. To use terms from my early Gen-X days, I am an old, lesbian, tomboy. Yeah, not a perfect descriptor but as close as I can get.
Ash, your filming and editing skills never cease to amaze me. It's really clear how much effort you put into them. This video is incredible and beautiful. Also, I definitely don't think there is a right time to come out, you have to listen to yourself and consider the environment you're in at the time. I somewhat wish I came out earlier (I came out last summer at 19, and I'm 20 now), but at the same time, I wouldn't have felt as comfortable with it if I had. I do wish that I came out to myself earlier, though, instead of shoving it down and repressing it for years. So it took a whole lot of "undoing" to come to the realization. I'm just now starting to question/explore my gender a bit more, but I don't feel in a huge rush to come out as anything. I think coming out young has its advantages/disadvantages and so does coming out a bit older (because really 21 and 24 are still considerably young!). I like to think my life would have been easier if I had come out at 16 instead of 19, but everyone comes out when they're ready, and there is no right or wrong time for anyone! I always look forward to your videos, Ash, they never disappoint :) love you lots!
I'm 22, and I still haven't come out to my family. I don't feel the need to though, to me sexuality is not a big deal so why would I bother coming out? Haha
There's a 7-year-old girl I know (she's a family friend) who just can out as trans (male to female) and her parents are lowkey accepting but sense she's so young they don't want to make any changes yet. Like I don't think they even use a different name or she/her pronouns AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD like Ik she's young but it can't hurt to just use a different name and the right pronouns? Do you guys think I should do anything about it? What could I do??
My brother's friend from elementary school also came out as mtf at around 7 or 8. She had much better parents who let her wear skirts and 'girl clothes' to school and referred to her in private with she/her pronouns for about a year before she officially came out to her class. I'm pretty sure she goes to an all-girls school now. It's terrible how the girl you know was (still is?) treated, but the opposite is also possible
i think its amazing that jackson felt so solid about himself while still among his school and family environment. im younger than you ash but id still consider myself in the "old" category, just because i really waited as i grew to see how my identity would shift. fortunately im not really interested in hormone therapy as of yet. but in a way, i havent felt like ive come out yet - more like im rolling my identity around on my tongue, waiting for the words to solidify. so yeah. major props, jackson, i think thats really cool.
Hey, this is for anyone who thinks they have advice for me. I'm thirteen, and bi. I'm 100% sure, and I know it isn't a phase. I've only told one friend, and she isn't even my closest, but she's gay and her sister is bi, so I knew she'd support me. I want to tell everyone, because I know my parents are supportive of the L&G community, but I don't know about the B. I have anxiety, so whenever I'm about to tell anyone, I get really scared and feel like I'm about to pass out. Any advice on when and how I should do it?
somethingfalls hey! Idk how helpful this will be but I'll do my best :) when i came out to a few of my friends I found it was easier to start with saying "I have something to tell you." It's easier than actually telling them but it kind of commits you to telling them as well. I also came out to a couple of my friends via text and that was so much easier than telling them face to face, so you could try that? As to when to come out, make sure it's safe. Ik this is a kinda shitty answer as well but just when you're ready. I'm not out to my parents so I don't really know sorry! Im not sure if any of this will help but remember there is a whole community of people there for you and I'm just one but I support you and I hope everything will work out for you
somethingfalls start with something that they won't let you take back, like "there's something important I need to tell you". I learned that because I was really scared to come out and just said it randomly and my mom was kind of mad that I just laid it on her and I didn't sit down and talk like a civilized person, but I knew it was the only way to get it out.
somethingfalls Hi! I'm also 13 and BI!! When I came out it was really scary especially in front of my parents even though I know that they are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. But when I just said hey um I'm bi and it helped them understand when I explained how I felt. And also they usually don't even bring it up anymore. Best of luck ❤️❤️
Ash, your book gave me a definition I needed!!! I found out today that aporagender is a thing, and that it is me in a nutshell. Also, as a MN person, I find you extremely relatable. I live about an hour from Minneapolis.
Cora Tasker well I'm 16... And I'm ace/homoromantic but I tried to tell my sister and she said I was too young to know.... sooooo maybe when we are 18 people will believe us..
i'm ace as well. I didn't really officially come out. If people ever bring up the topic of relationships and sex, I just say: "I just don't want to do it. I don't feel the need to." and most people just take that as it is. There are lots of people who say that I can't be in a relationship without sex, and I just shrug it off, because sex isn't the only thing a relationship is based off around. It's just one thing that you don't do, and that's okay!
it's silly cause my parents are against me having sex but when I say I have no desire to do that they're like "whaaat??!?!but you should have kids!" 😒 (thanks though😊💜🖤💜
haha I just say that I'm going to adopt! There are so many kids out there that need loving families and a roof over their heads. Or, even better, FUR BABIES
I'm 17 and im facing some opposition from my mom with the "what if you decide this the wrong course of action?" It's awesome to see someone going through similar problems and their advice
The idea that transgender kids/teenagers aren't "old enough" to form a gender identity is total bs. Kids are always forming their "gender identity", from the moment that they're toddlers.
This video makes me feel so valid! I'm not out to my family yet, but I am to my friends and people at school. I'm 14 and genderqueer, and this video just made me feel so good. Thank you Ash and Jackson!
As late as I am to comment on this video I just love rewinding to see Ash and her videos, but I came out to my best friends as Pansexual 4 days ago and i still don't feel relieved but just seeing Ash makes me so happy. ASH IS ADORABLE!
I came out almost two years ago, and to be honest I regret it slightly. I was even younger than I am now and hadn't spent long enough thinking through my identity. I no longer identify the way I did. However I'm also pretty glad I did! At least my parents are aware than I'm not completely cis-het and make an effort (sometimes). Either way I think as long as people spend a while thinking about it then go ahead! No matter if you're 13 or 30!
Dear ash, I just want to say thanks for making videos like this. It helps me and other people figure out who they actually are in life. And why there here. It's all been difficult for me but you give me hope to deal with all of this. Thanks.
I am 16 and just came out as bi about a month ago! You really inspired me to own my sexuality by the way and your videos still give me a lot of strength. It went really well. I did it in the car while driving back from a trip with my mom when I decided "ok, before the end of this drive I'm gonna come out". I told her I was bi and that I had a girlfriend and she cried a little and I cried a lot and she said she was proud of me for knowing this about myself. However, I have still never heard her validate my bi identity, she just tells people (especially her lesbian friends) that I have a girlfriend, cause I think she seems to think it's more of an exploratory thing since I'm so young. Also, neither of my parents seem to be aware of how hurtful gay jokes can be for me, since they still think my bisexuality is more of an experience or phase than an identity for me, so they don't call people out on it even when it's hurting me. Who knows, maybe it will be a phase, but I am pretty mature and have done a LOT of introspection since I started questioning in 6th grade and came out to myself in 8th grade, and I don't think it should matter if it is a phase for people to respect your identity. Overall, coming out has been really positive though. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I don't have to be so careful with my words now. I don't realize how hard that is until I go back into spaces where I feel like I have to hold my tongue and not make too big a deal out of it. It really is an ongoing process, and I am not out to everyone I know even among my friends and family. I think it will be much harder (or not worth it) to come out to certain teachers and family members, and it still feels awkward like I'm trying to be a special snowflake or get people to care about something that isn't that interesting, but it is getting easier to do and I am so much farther along in this process than I could have dreamed of two years ago. Thank you Ash for all you do for LGBTQ+ youth like me. You inspire me so much and have helped me self-reflect and get to know this part of myself and feel proud of it (something I never thought I could do for such a long time). If there are any other young people who are thinking of coming out and know it won't put them in danger, I would encourage you to do it at least to a few friends and/or your parents. It was so scary for me, and it hasn't been all positive, but have been living a much more authentic happy life since I did it and it feels so good to not be lying by omission anymore.
I haven't come out yet (I'm 15) but this video really helped me because one of my main concerns is that people won't believe me because of how young I am or that I'm just doing it because "it's a trend with your age group" (yes I have actually heard that). I just want to thank you so much for this video and for how much your channel inspires me and countless others! :) ❤
Awesome video, Ash! I really liked the questions you asked. Anyway, I'm a 14 year old trans guy. I'll only be out in school in September, but I just came out at marching band about two weeks ago, and it went super well. The staff is incredibly respectful, and the rest of the band has been using my name and pronouns which makes me super happy. One thing that makes the coming out process a bit harder is that my sibling is also trans (nonbinary). I've been in marching band for 2 years, and they just joined last year, but they were out at that point. People knew them as the "trans one", and then I came out so I get paranoid that it looks like I'm copying them somehow.
My name is Brodie, I'm fourteen and I came out as gender-queer and not straight to my friends when I was eleven, then updated the vocabulary I used to describe myself to them when I was twelve, that change of labels being from neutrois pansexual to trans-masculine demisexual. All of my friends, extending to most people in my grade at school have been really accepting and for that I'm so thankful. I came out to my mother on the fifth of February this year, and she seemed to accept it at the time but doesn't believe I'm "masculine enough" to be transgender and still refers to me as her daughter, but I'm going to start conversations about hormone replacement therapy with both her and my therapist in hopes I can start testosterone. I'm so grateful that the friends I have are accepting and a few of them share an identity with me, because it's so important to have a community that accepts you for who you are with no questions. This channel is such a safe space for information to be given and questions to be answered without judgement, and I hope it stays this way!
I'm very young (not even 15), and I came out as pansexual to my mother last February; we talked about my sexuality the other day and I've been told that "I could change at any moment" but I'm like 140% sure I won't. after a lifetime of looking for something that applied to me, I finally found what I am, and hearing that I'm just trying to be cool, that it's not who I really am, that I'm just copying other people and that I should start thinking with my own head (my sister's words), it's heartbreaking, you know what I mean? but fuck yeah I also came out to my classmates and some were accepting and supporting and some other kids still call me "shitty gay" bUt heck yeck I'm super open about my sexuality at school (with teachers too) and it feels so awesome, it makes me feel at ease!! all my friends also know that I'm pan and they were obviously accepting...since I only have queer friends lol so yeah that's my story~
I came out at bi at 18. I came out about a year or so later as agender and asexual. It's weird now bc I feel like I have to come out again (some people still think I'm bi, like my parents). However, I hope to become more confident in myself. I am constantly questioning my gender, going back and forth on changing my name to Evan, wondering why I feel the way I do. A lot of my poetry is about gender and sexuality, and that and a lot of RU-vidrs like you have helped me understand myself a lot more, and I'm grateful for that!
I came out to my friends at 12/13 (I'm 16) and my parents at 14. To my extended family I never really "came out" it was more me making comments about liking girls and then being, "Oh. I have a Girlfriend." and then since I was 15 I've just been more open and proud about it and people have just been like "okay." I've been accepted, loved and supported by everyone around me and for that I am incredibly grateful.
ash I just realized you have like almost the exact same hairstyle of me and I really love how confident jack is like I wish I was as confident as he is even if I'm just bisexual
I think the right time to come out is when you're ready to. Age shouldn't matter, you should do it when you feel comfortable and you are confident in who you are
I'm bisexual. I realized around my 12th birthday in February earlier this year, and I'm hoping to come out this year on October 11th. That's National Coming Out Day, but several times I've contemplated just striking up a conversation with my parents and telling them. Like, "Hey Mom? What's for dinner?" "Pizza." "Oh by the way I'm bisexual." Or something like that. I find it funny that you think coming out at 15 is young because, well, I'll be coming out at 12. Although when you made this video you knew nothing about it so just never mind. Great video, by the way. :)
In my experience, people will question your transition no matter what age you are. If you're young, they'll say "how can you be sure, you're so young" but if you're older, they can say, "if this was really how you felt for (x) years, why didn't you come out sooner?" This is coming from a person who originally came out as a teen but went back into the closet for years out of fear and lack of support. Great video y'all, thanks for posting!
I was 16 when I came out officially as a lesbian but it wasn't until a month ago (I'm 22 now) that I came out & accepted myself as genderfluid. For years I was so confused about my gender & felt crazy for feeling like I wasn't just a female but also a male. But now that I have discovered what I am I have been happier & doing so much better mentally. I have finally began my transition of being more fluid & expressing myself & it has been so wonderful! Ash your videos has been my saving grace! ❤
I came out in 2015 at the age of 20. And I've sort of recome out as various forms of non-binary trans ever since. I've been starting to seriously consider starting HRT for a few days, thanks to Ash's wonderful channel. Seriously, you are amazing, and I think you're adorable and quirky and I love what you do.
I came out 4 years ago. I was 13 years old at that time, and my parents wouldn't believe me. After years of trying to understand what my gender identity is, I finally got it. I came out to my two bestfriends, and they rejected me saying that I'm just trying to get their attention. So, coming out is great, but also sad. Sometimes you gotta let go people you love, cause if they don't want to accept you they cannot love you the way you deserve. Ash, your videos helped me a lot through my journey. I'm really grateful, thank you.
I came out when I was 13, I'm a FtM trans guy. My experience was sort of in a limbo between good and bad, most people (friends, acquaintances, etc.) didn't know me for very long so the adjustment period was better. Most were very supportive and they were like "yeah, okay cool, I figured" and they basically just wanted me to be happy, so that was great. But, of course I got the few people who questioned me rudely, called me names, and continued using my birth name and pronouns just to upset me. I just cut those people out of my life, though. I've been out for a year now and things are going well, I'm out at school and to everyone else in my life. I haven't started testosterone or gender therapy, but I hope to be starting soon. Thanks for reading if you did, Ash. Love you and your channel :D
I'm 12 and I came out as gay a couple of months ago and I still have guys at school asking if I really am or saying I'm not. I have never felt more happy in my life . I came out in the car after a therapy session it was kind of awkward but it was the best day of my life . I want to thank you Ash bc I have watched so many of your videos as I was questioning and trying to come out. You are such an amazing person and words can't even explain how thankful I am.
I'm 15 and came out for the first time in about January/February as Asexual & Demi-Panromatic I'm still not completely sure on my gender and I'm now questioning whether I'm actually demiromantic but I'm pretty certain I'm Ace & Pan and I'm experimenting with genderfluid (maybe idk... agh) I bought your book recently and reading it has really helped me to understand the LGBTQ+ community more and understand some of my friends' identities a little better so thank you for that! - I'm only on section 2 though so more awesomeness to come :D Also, the spectrums section of the book helped me learn more about myself which I'm extremely grateful for
I'm 28. I came out as Bi a few weeks ago. I've always felt Bi. I've never dated or kissed a girl. I've only had one relationship with a guy when i was 27. I came out to my mum ok, but I came out to my dad by text coz I was too scared to tell him face to face. Both have been very accepting & supportive. Haven't told my sister yet, waiting for the right time. I wasn't hiding my sexualtiy from my parents. I just felt it was the right time. I wanted to admit it & finally be myself. Want to find someone & have a relationship. These videos are fantastic. They've really helped me understand the LGBTQ+ community. Im glad to be a part of it. ❤
I'm coming out quite gradually now. I'm very open about it but not everyone knows yet. On my 17th birthday I was in Greece with school and I read them a poem about me being not straight. All of the reactions were positive and no one has questioned anything yet. It's very nice to be accepted. Everyone around me is very open-minded and that's awesome.
I came out as lesbian to my family at 15. I'm now 17 and I have major dysphoria about my hair and body. I hate that my hair is long (shoulder length) but I'm too scared to cut it. I don't know what to do. I'm also now questioning my gender identity. I feel I am a girl but my dysphoria makes things confusing. Your videos are really helping me discover the true me. Thank you xxx
Came out at 14 as gay. Came out at 21 as transmasculine. And a couple months later as nonbinary and pan. My first coming out went so easy cause everybody was just like "phase" and I just lived my life and loves and didn't care. But my second coming out was a whole other thing. My family was absolutely not educated about gender identity (part of the reason it took me so long) and exactly like jack said they would say "who are you trying to be?" Etc I wasn't as well accepted by my family but all my friends and heart family were the best, which led me to a third coming out thinking "ok now how about we stop worrying if people are going to find it normal or accept it and just be yourself." Thanks for the video Ash and Jack.
Awesome video! I love your content Ash. Answering your question, I started to come out as bi when I was 16 and then as "gay" when I was 17. I also came out to myself and my friends as genderfluid when I was 17! I am 19 now and I would definitely say that coming out is a long process as I am not fully out to everyone in my life and maybe I'd never come out to some of them.
Irish 😬👍🏻🇮🇪 So cool that you know who you are so young! So cool that you had the courage to be you and be honest with your parents and get them on board! So delighted for you Jack 😊
After about 4 years I’m still questioning my gender identity, at one point I was “yup def not a guy, me gorl”, then I was like “nah, I’m my birth gender, me boi”, and I’m lucky I have a supportive mom, when I told her I identified as a girl she fully supported me, and when i told her that I identified as a boy again she also supported me. She doesn’t know my sexuality rn and I plan on telling her soon.
Right before a vid I got an ad that said "We believe that right now is the best time to change things around" RU-vid, are you trying to tell me something?!?!?!?!?
I'm bi/pan and i came out a few months ago. it was a really hard time for me then but the support i got made me feel better. Also, it's a great filter for great friends; the ones who stuck with you no matter who you love or who you are, are the ones you should keep in your life
So I came out as trans fluid yesterday and it has been a little scary. I sit with and hang out with the what the teachers discribe as the "freshman gays" we only have one person in the group who is not LGBT, everyone in the group has been so supportive and nice, some even started using my pronouns! My mother supports me but my father doesn't and I understand that it is going to be a little difficult for him to understand and that's ok. It's a little scary telling people but everyone has been so supportive of me and it's amazing. BTW I'm 16 and I'm a freshman in highschool, greetings from Alaska 😊
I came out as bi online at 16, "officially" to friends and my mom at 17, and now at 19 I'm beginning to question my gender and if I'm going to transition in any way. My reactions to coming out as bi have been positive, and a few of my friends have come out to each other at the same time. I'm glad I have such supportive family and friends. I haven't "officially" come out as nonbinary to anyone except the SAGA club at my school, mostly because I'm still in the process of coming out to myself (if that makes any sense)
starting around when i was 11-12 i came out as bisexual to my close friends and had nothing but support. around 13 my mom basically outed me for her own knowledge because she found out i was dating my friend. that was a hard time for my anxiety over privacy and public affection.. i still haven't fully come out at 15 despite my confidence growing and not hiding as much as i used to. i've grown more comfortable with myself since coming out to a few friends and my s/o as agender so that's good. i've gotten more androgynous with my style (as i had been wanting to do for years) and have stopped caring what the majority of people say/think about me. what a journey.. and it's not even the least bit done.
I came out as gay at 14 to all my friends, and now, a year and a half later nearly everyone in my grade at school knows. All of my friends have been supportive and wonderful about it, whereas some other kids I barely even talk to have gone out if their way to show me how they disapprove of my sexuality. A con of knowing so young and coming out so young is that if your parents don't really accept LGBT+ people you don't feel like you can tell them because you are stuck living with them until you're old enough to go out and live indepently, and if you decide to tell friends/other people you're constantly worried that your parents may find out
29yo Bi-guy here! I accepted that I was bi about 4 years ago now. And for me it wasn't a big deal. It was more like me saying to myself: "*sigh*... alright Jace, you like dudes too. Deal with it." And I did! But shortly after that I got into a long-term relationship with a girl which ended about a year ago. This meant that my bisexuality wasn't "relevant" - in my mind - and so I didn't really do much else with it. That relationship ended a year ago as I took a mental health nosedive with depression and burnout. As I recovered I decided I wanted to make my "bi-ness" part of my identity. And so, I called my parents and siblings. Called my closest friends. And came out. After having told them, I didn't care who knew. So I updated all my social media profiles to reflect it, and no longer censor my orientation publicly. Friends and family were 99.9% accepting. Mum had some issues with it but her attitude was always "I need to get used to this, I just want you to be happy" - and so I really appreciate that. Overall my experience was perfectly fine! But I will also mention that I live in Sweden (as an Australian), and I find Sweden to be INCREDIBLY socially progressive. I never felt any fear of professional or societal repercussions. This is not something I take for granted and wear my bisexuality with pride
I'm 21, came out as a lesbian a year ago, a week before my birthday. My family split down the middle of how they took it (great vs. terrible) and my Mom and I haven't been the same since. Huge argument. But now I'm living with my fiancé of 5 years and will soon be married. It feels incredible to not have to hide anymore. NEVER sacrifice who you are for the comfortability of others
i came out at questioning i guess when i was 20, didnt stick to the agender label until after i turned 21. friends were the most accepting and supportive and those who werent, i didnt stay friends with. family has been a journey and although im still not out to my dad i get support from my sisters. im 23 - almost 24 - and feel comfortable with coming out at this age. when i first started questioning, i was about 13/14 and spent a long time questioning. although there was a lot of pain through that, in glad i spent the time i did questioning because i learned so much about myself!! thank you for the video!!
I'm 13 and I recently came out as abro. The reactions were supportive, my mom was worried that I was going to regret it in a few years. Which is a valid concern and she only wants me to have the best life, but I explained to her that this is how I feel and I have felt this way for a long time. After many tears and long conversations, she eventually understood my perspective and everything is back to how it's always been. But now I feel more free