Yes! And remember, even as a married person, your spouse will never fulfill your deepest desires - even in a healthy marriage. Only God can satisfy the longings of our hearts!
AMEN. Little Flower...No one person can fulfill all your needs and desires. God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, though, knows you better than any person ever could.
Christ was single all his life and his attention was devoted to God in everything He did. Jesus serves as a living example and reminder to all, that living an active life through, with, and in Christ, will fulfill all needs and wantings of living your life being single.
So uplifting to hear, I'm also 48 and feel that advice like the above is misleading. I tried to be happy single for years, it doesn't seem to be my calling.
@@deelaffan Thank you for the honesty. I agreed with much of the content of the video but like you felt it was misleading, simply because it didn't reflect the 'other side' as in, the days where it's a struggle.
As a single divorcee (divorced because of my husband's infidelity & refusal to seek counseling over 17 years...he also refused to give me a child because he thought he would have to compete with that child for my affections, and he didn't want the noise), I find this refreshing. I am now past child bearing. My times are in the Lord's hands, so I don't know if I'll be single forever. But Scripture tells us that the Lord is close to the broken hearted...He's all over me with His love! All glory and honor to Him for His tender care over me over 12 years of single-hood! His has made His presence so real to me that I have not needed to seek another mate. He even sees to my financial and practical needs. Can't enumerate them all here, but I can only say that God is good & has shown forth miracles great & small. He is shield & protector to those who love Him. He is the great Provider.
Totally agree. Well said, ladies! I was single, fully satisfied, and chaste for years. The Lord Himself has been my spouse. Now I've been seeing a virtuous Catholic man for almost a year, and we feel a call to marriage. Whatever the Lord wants, He gets from my life! 😊
It's hard to just be happy single and not "looking" but I'm trying to get there. It's especially hard being from a culture (Nigerian) that is obsessed with people, especially women, being married. I'm 30 years old and I look around at a lot of the people I grew up with getting married and having children. But I really am happy being single, I've been developing my relationship with God and finding myself which have been great so I will continue to enjoy and make the most of my season of singleness.
I’m single 31 and may be for the rest of my life. Idk my vocation but I’m trying to trust everyday. There are days of loneliness, days of contentment. I’m still working on being joyful no matter what with God. Work in progress. Thank you for this ladies!
I'm in awe that there's so many single people commenting here who are joyful. I have lived in a desert for the past 12 years, and ache for the days when I was happily married. I understand what you mean by God's comfort, and at the same time, there is also no substitute for the human touch; to hold and be held by the one that loves you. I enjoy a lot of aspects of the single life, but there are many aspects which get old really quick, such as the chores of daily life. Being in isolation due to COVID-19 doesn't help. I'm praying for the Grace to bear my cross.
@@svetlanabarrow6026 that doesn’t invalidate my question in the least...... it is a fact that some Christians turn relationships, the desire and pursuit of one, into an obsessive idol. I speak from personal experience in this regards, having been guilty of this, due to unrealistic expectations stemming from really bad Christian dating literature (I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a prime example, a book which the author has since disavowed, halted future printings, publicly apologized, and even filmed a documentary, interviewing people who were damaged by his unrealistic approach, called “I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye”), such where it eventually resulted in my abandoning the faith for 5-6 years. By God’s grace, I’ve been back in the faith for just over 5 years now, but, again, I speak from personal experience regarding this.
A prayer that the bishop of my diocese passed on to us that I say almost every morning: Future Spouse Prayer: Lord Jesus, you already know the person I will marry. Although I sometimes I feel anxious, I trust in you. Please watch over, guide, and mold my future spouse so that on the day we meet we will be ready to follow your plan for us.
I'm single and joyful too. I'm not looking for either. Only God knows if I'll be married in the future. Just keep working to live according to His will.
I ‘d like to see more on this topic, such as how to live joyfully as a single person, especially if you’ve lost someone. I think you could have a great series on this topic. Thank you!
This is such a great topic. I was married for 20 years and have been single and celibate for 13. Honestly I have never been happier or more content. My life now is truly a blessing and I thank God every day for it. It would be great to have this topic discussed more as I'm sure there are many of us out there who would benefit.
Dear Jackie! I cannot begin to describe how timely this message is. I have been holding out on joining a vocation in the church and now I have not 1 but 2 confirmations that have set me at ease. God is listening. I am humbled!!!
The best piece of wisdom I’ve ever heard is that YOU CANNOT DISCERN A VOCATION ALONE. You can feel a pull towards married life or religious life, but the discernment has to happen with a person (marriage) or a community (religious).
Usually when I consider being someone’s wife & mother and feel anxious about it being not meant to be for my life, I’m comforted by the thought that God has everything already written out for me since before I was born, & that’s all the security I need.
That’s how my sister feels. As for me, I feel the same way when it comes to religious life. I’ve been happy living single the more I spend more time in this journey with God. Whenever God is willing, hopefully He will send me a husband, on His timing, of course.
I did not believe I could be alone and not feel lonely. I went through several bad relationships but stuck with them because I didn't think I could do any better, nor did I think I deserved any better. I even felt suicidal about it for quite some time. Once I came back to my faith and kept seeking God through prayer it's feels like my life has completely and totally changed. There is nothing on this earth whether it be a person, a thing, or a lifestyle that can fill the infinite abyss that is in our hearts. The only thing that can fill that infinite abyss is God, who is INFINITE. I've never felt this level of happiness or peace at any other point in my life. If I am called to remain single and celibate for the rest of my life, I rejoice. If I am called to marry someone in the future that God has chosen and reveled to me, I will also rejoice. Thank you, Kim and Jackie for confirming for me what I've felt in my heart for some time now.
Thank you for posting this! I have recently become single again and I have always enjoyed the idea of staying single and being celibate for the glory of the kingdom of God. Maybe one day I will find someone who I can share my heart with, but this video helped me see that I can be joyful in my singleness. Thank you for posting this when I needed to see it the most!
This message was directed to me!! Recently started owning the Joy of my singleness and started more consciously seeking God's heart, mind and will. It has been freeing and peace producing. I am now so happy and fiercely protective of the life, peace and adventure I have trying to follow God.
I completely agree! Part of having God in our hearts is finding joy and deciding to be joyful in the smallest things. Plus, as Fr. Mike mentioned, having a grateful and affable disposition. Being single is a vocation too! My joy is in the Lord. Amen!
I am single and joyful, and I get allot of invites, and when I find he doesn't have faith, it turns me off, and won't go any further. Because I'm focused. People always think how do you go without sex. I also way said, sex isn't necessarily mean. Thank you for this wonderful video.
Thank you both for this...a few weeks ago, someone asked me this,"so, are you still single now?" then i replied, "yups, married to Jesus's ❤"...and just a week ago, me and my best friend are discussing about this, in a nut shell, we both agree that if you are happy with being single while in relationship in Him, our Savior..where it can go wrong? But, sadly, in our society, single-women are often being treated with bad perception..😂
Yes, I do agreed with you ennial catherine. Sometime these can cos single women stress alot. Just pray that god is alway there to listen. Be happy alway n do enjoy single life...amen..do take care n stay safe. .me too single like you. Nice to hear from you. God bless us.
What a beautiful affirmation! I am new to singlehood after being married for over 26 years. Society says I need another husband. I have been falling deeper into love of Jesus, seeking Him and have been amazingly blessed!! If He wants me to be married again then He will present that to me. In the short time this has been revealed to me, I have found a deep peace and bigger JOY in life! Thank you again, for sharing!
I’m Content with celibate living; There’s an absolute fulfillment of joy, self-reliance & spiritual enrichment in living single😀. It’s genuinely blessed; when you intimately relate to God’s living spirit in Christ 🕊😇
I am single , happy and satisfied with my life. I never feel lonely either because its my choice to be a single and 100% no regret in the end.. Talked to God all the time and He’s my company wherever i go and give my life to Him...
When I was single I had so much peace and joy through the grace of God. I made several videos on my youtube channel while I was single about how to live your life to the fullest as a single person. I am not married but in a serious Catholic relationship heading towards marriage and I'm so grateful for my single years because I learned so much and developed a deep relationship with Christ.
This video popping up was very timely. I literally wrote a book on this subject, but it's still a daily choice for me to fix my eyes on Christ and not on my desire for marriage. Unwanted singleness can be such a cross. Let's all pray for each other.
This is important . Thank you for saying this. I was recently told by a couple of well-meaning Catholics (one a leader of TOB, the other a Carmelite nun) that there are only two vocations for women: marriage/motherhood and being a consecrated religious/nun. The Sister was like “What are you going to do with your life otherwise?” This mindset needs to go away.
Being single and content is tough because it means overriding two strong biological desires, with those being the desire for sex/procreation, and the desire for simple human contact. Forget sex for a second. There's a desire to show affection through channels such as non-sexual embracing, kissing, holding hands, and even having bonding conversations, and even these things are much more satisfying than the world would have us believe. Much of that is off the table with singlehood.
Firstly, this applies for all followers of Christ, not just Catholic. I think it's great the point is made that we shouldn't in effect make an idol of celibacy etc. We seek Christ first and our desires follow. However, in videos like this there's a danger in downplaying the challenges of the celibate life and/or making those who struggle feel guilty if they desire marriage and it remains unfulfilled. I say this as a woman in her late 30s who has been single my whole adult life. i.e always. All that is said in the video is theologically correct but we need to be sincere as Christians about the sacrificial element. There will be good days and bad days.
It's all well and good for the married presenter to talk about how she felt so content as a single she could have gone to heaven there and then. That's no longer her reality. She was younger. If she'd continued as a single, she might not have felt the same way. It's by the grace of God we live this life. I'd have liked Kim to speak of the dry seasons because they are certain to come in this earthly life. Even whilst recognising the richness and joy gained by living for Christ, the choice to do so can be very difficult. Christ called us to take up our cross. It's not lightweight. Let's be authentic about it, instead of donning this super-spiritual veneer all the time. I appreciate this video is here to encourage single Christians to be content and not feel like we are second class citizens, as the church can inadvertently do. Godliness with contentment is great gain, whatever season in which we find ourselves. However, as good as the underlying intention of the video is, there's no need to sugar-coat the experience. In fact it's dishonest and potentially very unhelpful. We should feel free to speak out if celibacy sometimes feels more like a burden than a blessing. It's important to bring balance by representing the good, bad and ugly whilst we seek the help of the Holy Spirit.
AcousticUplift i don't understand why you're saying this when they are talking about "their" experiences. if you don't agree with it you can search for other sources. How can you say they are sugarcoating their words when you don't know them? everyone has different experiences and this video might be about more good than the struggles. how they wanna make a video is upto them. you can request for a video or you can talk about what you think rather than being passive aggressive.
Thank you. This is so true. Unwanted singleness is a big cross, especially if you are called to marriage and have not been able to live that call yet. God did not make us to be alone.
I'm single not looking. Took awhile to get here but I felt I needed to focus on filling myself with love from God, loving platonic relationships, giving to others and hobbies. Still working on those things!
Thank you, I needed to hear this so much. I'm also 29 and my brain knows that I must trust God, but my soul is weak and I keep being afraid and doubting God's plan. I always have ideas in my head, but nothing that I expect ever comes in the shape I imagined because as you mentioned, God has his plans and my thoughts are not his thoughts. I've been praying for God to stir my heart one way or other and give me strength if he is calling me to become a consecrated single or even join an order, because I simply don't think I will ever marry. I suppose I must be patient.
This video is incredible and reached me right when I needed it. Thank you so much. I am 19 and in college and it is really hard to not feel pressured by this relationship obsessed culture.
"I'm a free agent for HIM." I love that. Paul was right, being single is not a curse, it gives you all the time in the world to spend with OUR LORD and SAVIOR. I am not seeking celibacy...and admit I was happier when I was happily married. However, you can be so miserable if your marriage is not working. In that case, you are much better off single. If I die today, my joy is being with the LORD. This is so helpful, ladies! Thank you, thank you for speaking TRUTH. And not what the culture says.
As someone who just turned 30, I grew up with friends who started dating as young as 14. Most of my friends are in long term relationships, a few married. I have never been in a relationship and I think mostly it was due to insecurity and feeling like dating in my teen years felt wrong. The relationships around me were not healthy ones. It definitely pushed me away from the dating life. How can I know if singleness is something I’m supposed to stay with? My family is very divided and I worry about not having anyone in my life in the future. Been praying about it but I’m just confused.
Molly M keep praying ma'am. He will lead you to whatever it is. it's okay to not know and be confused. just keep praying. you may not get any answer now but you surely will. Now just remain joyful in whichever place you are and keep going🙏🏻🙏🏽
I feel you on this. I am 26 and every relationship I have had except when I was 17, I wasn’t happy or fulfilled in any way, shape or form. I couldn’t create a soul connection or romantic feelings with anyone and sometimes I wonder if I am meant to be single or not bc I feel more joy when I pray then when I am in a relationship with a guy or a girl. My fear is the same as yours. That I will be lonely and have no one while all my friends and family member are busy with their partners. I have been praying as well to either have someone come into my life or to help me figure out if I want to stay single or not. My advice is just to keep praying hun. God will answer eventually ☺️
Well there can be a lot of heartache from being in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with steering clear of those types of relationships. But you don’t want to live in fear of “how bad things can be” if you were to date someone. Some people end up prioritizing things like work or other family as well that really doesn’t leave room for a relationship or marriage. But people wait a good while before getting married to and to have kids. So it’s not unusual to be married in your 30s or even 40s. It seems to me it might be more from experience than God that’s leading you to kind of be afraid of dating. I would look into what God has in store for marriage and see if your heart desires that. And I think your prayers will be aiding you through out the process. Ultimately my spouse and I have to rely on God to really make us holy as a couple and a family. So that entails healing our hearts and renewing our minds and helping us grow in love and leading us to heaven. We couldn’t do it all ourselves. The beauty of our marriage stems from Christ’s love for us and grace through the sacraments and the Holy Spirit.
Thank you for this video. I am close to God and probably could be closer. I was looking but not anymore. I think being alone or loneliness has to be the hardest to endure. Again focus on the Lord his love a bountiful mercy will sustain me.
I was raised catholic. I'm now,a born again Christian, deepened by the 66 Books of the Bible. I'm older. And have now after a very long dismantling of my personhood in Christ. I can have male and female friends. I'm a lover of souls. And humbled. Jesus is my PILOT, especially as I'm going to be driving my MiniMare. 🤺🏁🚙 .prays....
You have no idea just how much I needed to hear this! Thank you!! 🙌👏 Could you talk more about the single vocation? It was my understanding that it was a vocation, just like religious, marriage etc but I've seen in some places that it is NOT actually a vocation and I'm quite confused 😖
No wonder you are confused. these kind of vocation and calling dissuasions would confuse anybody. Basically you are single either because you chose to be or you could not find somebody suitable.
I’m single and I’m not joyful. I long for companionship, for the touch of someone’s hand, for children of my own. I’m trying to grow in my relationship with Christ, but I’m still lonely.
This is the most joyful, beautiful video I have seen. EVERYTHING in it! (If I die today, I did not miss out on my vocation.) SO MUCH BEAUTY AND WISDOM.
I so agree with you. I felt I was called to singlehood since I was so joyful carrying with my life as a single woman. In 2001 I met Martín and realized that I was called to married life. But I do not regret one second of having been single back then.
Absolutely agreed! I’m single mom and discernment to third order! I just want to serve the Lord to redeem my sins to rest of my lifetime... I want to be celibacy as penance .
Hi Michelle 🙂 Wow! Your message really touched my heart 💕 I'ma mom who separated years ago. It is challenging yet beautiful to be blessed with a child 👼 Praying for you & all moms/single parents 💕✝️🙏🥰
Me too! Single mom here🙋for 9 yrs. I'm 34 now and had my daughter at 23. Once I discovered our Lord's love & returned to the faith I've been happy, content, and at peace😊I came from being boy crazy, settling, lowering my standards to falling in love with the one true Spouse🙏🏼God is good!❤
Thank you so much for this encouraging, edifying message. I really needed to hear about the joy and intimacy of singleness when we pursue God's will with all our hearts. God bless you both and may He continue to work through you!
Very true on all counts. Dated a lot over my first 30 plus years. Stayed chased and virtuous however I never felt I could ever make that deep a commitment for life and certainly wouldn't do it simply out of obligation to do what everyone thinks I should do. I had to.follow my heart to remain single and rest in the Lord. Now at 56 I'm VERY Happy and fulfilled enjoying my freedom and realizing having someone thinking that would fulfill my needs physically,emotionally, mentally or even spiritually. When I quite dating back in my mid 30's to take a break from all my emotional baggage I simply realized I was far more happy single and opportunities to be available to others was always an option I otherwise wouldn't have. And I've never been more joyful 🙂
I wanted to want to like this video but I find it very unbalanced. I am 36 and single and didn't date much in my 20s and have yet to meet my husband. Talk about that struggle because I do not have Same Sex Attraction, so my wait in singleness is different than Kims and that's not to take away from her journey. Can we just keep it 100% real. It's nice and great to talk about love for the Lord, but some people aren't there yet. Being single is HARD, we must find our joy in Christ, but sometimes it does not always feel that way.
WELL SAID!BEING single and having Joy is absolutely possible.Just like any vocation one is Called! Like they say "single - blessedness.YES ONE IS Blessed...with God.
I have been on a journey of singlehood (single mom/divorcee) for the past 7 years. I continue to heal the wounds of marriage but I do not have the desire to "fall in love" at this time. I am more than happy living and loving myself. I am truly enjoying every gasp of air with less stress and emotional heartache. I wish more people would try it and see that it is one with God to honor thy self and thy body- one with Christ.
I have been single (divorced) with children, for 5 1/2 years. For a time, it was a great joy. For a time, I wanted nothing to do with marriage. It was fun, joyful, I could get up and be with the Lord, especially when the kids were with their dad. And then God showed me that my heart was hardened, and that marriage and my marriage were not the same. He showed me something more joyful available in loving partnership and I feel he has been preparing me ever since. I pray regularly for my husband, and God’s hand in his life, growing his heart for Him. I have joy, but I also yearn to meet him and find him. Patience in the Lord is good. He gave us stumbling blocks (including yearning to be married) for our good, so we might turn to Him as often as possible, and put our lives in His hands. 💕
I'm still not convinced. The very real practical difficulties of the single life and the absence of meaningful relationships mean that one is inadvertently trapped in a self centred and shameful existence that to me seems contrary to God's will. I would rather hear about ways to escape the trap or to bear the cross than being told I'm supposed to be enjoying this.
It is fortunate indeed for both of you that you found all of this out at such a young age. Nice point we won't be married in heaven. That should give a lot of unhappy married people hope!!!
I am a widow of 9 years. I have no desire in being remarried.. I am in a relationship with our Lord our God. Therefore, my heart is not alone or lonely. Thank you Jesus ❤
This video comes at an interesting time for me. When the lockdown started in March, many couples were breaking up. By the end of May, all of my friends who were single wanted nothing more than to be in a relationship. During the weekend of the 4th of July, one of my female Baptist friends wanted to talk to me about a Catholic man, who she met online and just started dating. When she asked this Catholic gentleman why he chose her, his first response was, "Because there are no single, Catholic women over the age of 30." While it gave her a good laugh, I couldn't help but think how true it is. Many of the single men in my Exodus 90 group have said the exact same thing. I will show this video to them. Please keep both them and myself in your prayers. Thank you
The whole thing about having a relationship with God is lovely. and it is a lovely discussion. However we need a lot more connection in our lives. We really do.
The problem with this way of thinking is every single person is different. Everyone requires a different amount of intimacy to be happy. I feel living the single life would be very hard for me since I crave partnership. But God bless the people that can be happy and Single. I’m just not one of them
As a single Christian, I too feel this way, that what ever God has in His plan for me, well then that is what I want for myself. He knows what’s best for us as individuals, and He wants to use us for His will. So I just pray that I have enough of God’s Grace, to always be able to know His will. And then of course, to have, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the strength and courage to be able to perform His plan for me. I think the beauty is in the effort. He loves seeing our effort! If we fail or succeed, it the continual effort, that He appreciates. Successfully living a holy life even, requires great continual effort, but it is in the daily effort to avoid sin, that we show our devotion , no?
I agree with other comments, that regardless of one's state in life, only Jesus can fullfill our deepest desires, but sometimes, life as a single person can be totally rotten and very difficult, however, when I feel this way I offer it up to the souls in Purgatory.
I appreciate this perspective, but as a single woman myself, I feel like we should also be careful about how we portray singleness and talk about it to those who don't desire it. There shouldn't be any shame in the desire for companionship. I warred with God about my lifelong singleness (I'm only 23 but still never been romantically involved) a few years ago and accused him of dragging out my longing of companionship through a boyfriend/husband, and to suck it up because it was His plan, no questions asked. It felt as though He was against my desire and I was wrong for wanting something wholly good, or I was somehow disordered for desiring marriage and a loving relationship so young when the timing "just wasn't right." I felt as if God was toying with my emotions and was beginning to see him as unsympathetic, untrustworthy and cruel. Then one single woman's perspective talked about how, because of so many people today refusing to submit to God and live according to His works and promises, a lot of those who God DOES call to marriage and family will remain single and unmarried because there are not enough believers to choose as [healthy] romantic partners. And my relationship with Him was saved for good. Like I said, I appreciate this video and validating the choice to remain single and celibate. People who do choose that, as God calls them to, deserve the credit. But I beg of those in the video and those watching to be wary and remember that it's not fair to blame God for the ways we wrongfully behave and choose.
It is true that there is a joy that comes only from God, but there is another joy that comes only from a couple. God has designed it this way for those who have the vocation of marriage. If you feel that this is your vocation, you must go out to meet that blessing. You should give yourself the opportunity to meet people who are in the same spiritual orientation as you and who may be candidates for marriage.
At wyD Panama I was told that I was called to be a history teacher and vocation of marriage please pray for me and my situation 🙏🏼 of delay and discernment
