Colby, I will tell you how our Delphi Indiana community handled the murder of my 14 yr old neighbor Libby and her best friend Abby. Instead of making a memorial out where it happened, a local man donated land and they built 3 softball fields, a huge playground, and a small amphitheater in honor of the girls. Thousands of children have been blessed by it. It's a beautiful reminder of Abby and Libby without being on the spot where their lives were taken. I pray your family is blessed with a beautiful place as a reminder to your siblings! ❤
Living in Ft Wayne, I had no clue what this generous, kind-hearted, lovingly gentleman has done for this generation as well as future generations by not only honoring these 2 very vry precious young girls...but giving other young children somewhere safer to play and be. You being the neighbor, knowing these 2 girls, I know your heart is forever hurt, and truly, I am forever sorry for this gravity to bear. In the end, the Lord blessed you to have wonderful memories of Abby and Libbie. Those 2 precious angels I only read about, but they stole my heart as well as the nation's. God Bless you sweetheart and God Bless one and alllllll 🌏
@@begoodbebetterbeblessedix3766 Thank you so much!! ❤️ They have definitely left a hole in the hearts of their families, friends, and our community. I pray for their families hearts to be healed just like I pray for Colby and all of their families hearts to be healed. 🙏❤️ God bless you!
I hope you have complete healing, you love your mum. She needs incredible healing too. If she ever comes to terms with what happened, she will be completely broken.
Colby, it is completely understandable for you to have these feelings about your mother at the end of the day she is your mother. There is no way for anyone to understand what you’re going through or how you feel YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. I pray for your healing.
My mother was bedridden for ten years. She never remembered me. When she died I did not cry. 20 years later, a lady passed away and I had a pain in my chest I could not understand. I learned I was actually grieving. Your grieving will come one day when it is healthy for you. God knows when you will need to grieve, your mother is still here, yet not, your journey is your own, but through your journey God will bring people through your life that you will be able to talk to to help you or you help them. Full circle.
It's not even necessarily missing the person themselves. It's missing who they were, who they should have been, that role they should have fulfilled in your life
😂😂😂 OK colby I'm listening to you talking about star wars and I just started laughing but for you not at you. You are a strong man, you will get to where you want to be and you should always do what everyone wants.........my opinion is you mum is not well but he who we will not name is different. Your aunt summer interview with nate Eaton I'm glad how honest she was. It is very normal to be conflicted, you do you ❤
I remember the memorial fence. It was a barrier against the darkness. There is Still love for Tylee, JJ, Charles and Tammy. Congratulations on your growing family. All your emotions and feelings are valid!
The power of this is stunning. This young man's capacity for healing is going to affect a huge amount of people. Yes please everyone, retire that property, let it fade away. Don't keep supercharging it with emotion and drama. Just let those whose remains were there and who died there, rest in peace.
I would wish that all evidence of the residence could be removed and the property permitted to return to nature. Perhaps place a plaque there. Residents of Rexburg have to live with the property in their midst so it should be either as invisible or beautiful as the community wishes. Memorials to the victims can be as numerous and placed anywhere as the families and communities wish.💔
As someone who is estranged from their own mother, who JUST had to report her to the police as a possible murderer, this episode meant a lot. Thank you
Sweetheart, you are anything but selfish, and you are 💯 entitled to miss your mom. She is a fragmented human being, and there are some fragments you will never identify with. It's okay to grieve. It's called ambiguous loss. You never got to say goodbye because you didn't know they were truly gone, and if the physical body is still here, that's the part that confuses our grief. You never had a normal separation from a parent, and that's not fair. I send mom love for you, if you have the space to accept it. If not, just know it is there for you whenever you want a mom to love you unconditionally and no questions asked. 💜💜💜
Girl, I felt this in my heart and soul!! Serious mom energy coming through! 💯 then I read your name was auntie and immediately thought yep you're that auntie that anyone can go to and feel 100% unconditionally loved. Idk how I know, I just know. Thank you for your love, even though it isn't directed towards me, it is felt nonetheless just through your words. 🙏🏼🖤
My only advice to you would be focus on your sweet family. Your mother made a choice, and I am not saying you shouldn't love her and miss her, but until she can sit down with you and tell you the truth, you will never be able to have a relationship or fully forgive her. Love your mother, but love your wife and sweet babies and put them first. So glad to see you, and I hope y'all are doing well!
@@DJ-im7cm Sadly, he can never fully heal. The term forgive gets used alot and yet I don't think it really applies. I think it's more of a case of just not holding onto anger and hatred. Letting that go, doesn't mean you've forgiven.
Well his mom is very mentally ill so I’m not sure she could sit down and have a normal conversation and tell the truth. Colby is coming to terms with something no young man should have to of gone through. But Lori is still his mother he has good memories of.
Mother earth will transmute that sad ground. Blessings and flowers and beauty and RESPECT ONLY to the property. We love you and Kelsee and your family. You are watched over.
Colby, not only are you helping other people but you are truly helping your healing process by sharing these feelings. God bless you for your deep self awareness and willingness to share such vulnerable and honest feelings with everyone.❤
You've dealt with all this with such dignity, Tyler and JJ would be so proud of you. You're a shining light to look upto. Well done young man and love and peace ❤
Grief is the price of love, Colby. I lost my boyfriend 26 years ago, and it has affected me deeply in direct and indirect ways. Never dismiss or apologize for your feelings in your walk with grief. You're a bright young man, and I know you're transforming all of your energy into a great way to impact others. The name is awesome (my boyfriend is a Trekky also!) Look forward to your content here.
Colby, I cannot imagine how much pain and anger you have had to deal with. Millions of us have taken you and your young family into our hearts. There's nothing you could say about any of this that would change this. May God keep you close and bless you every day. Your kids have a bunch of volunteer grandmas!!😢❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
That property will always be there. It's not just going to become invisible & implode. Tragedy has occurred in many different places. And for me it's just important to recognise it and be humbled by it. On my travels I have walked through cemeteries & acknowledged the people that were here before me commentating their lives. I am humbled when I happen upon a memorial bench in a park for goodness sake... I've been known to take out my cell and Google their names to find out more info. Weird I know!!! I specifically toke a side trip during a road trip in Ontario to be on what I call the hallowed ground where the Shafia family of females met their tragic end. I payed my respects and left and felt honored to be there. I've been to Coquitlam where Picton did his deed. Not intentionally, I just happened to be in the area and stopped. And when driving through St Catherine's Ontario I remembered the victims of Bernardo whenever I take my yearly trip to Niagara falls with my gkids.... Last time I was in Niagara falls I happened upon the oldest cemetery and now this will also be part of my yearly trip. Laura Secords grave just happened to be in front of me... Amazing I didn't specially plan a trip to visit the sites I just happened to be in the"neighborhood" and payed my respects. Everytime I happen to be at Calgary airport waiting on a flight I go and have a drink before boarding (I specifically arrive early enough to accomplish this) in order to pay my respect and remember a young woman that worked there, Sara Baillie. I went to the court case everyday of this horrible tragedy and this is how I honor her and I'm thankful there is a place for "ME" to do this in my small little way. I'm looking forward to that drink again in about 3 weeks before I go to the gate to catch my fight. This event shock my city to it's core at the time. I don't plan on ever being in Idaho but if by some future querk I happen to suddenly be in Rexburg I will find that site and acknowledge their lives. There are many sites for me personally that I stop and do this besides the ones I mentioned and this property will become avail for this, and hopefully won't turn into a circus. But a memorial for those to stop and acknowledge that their lives mattered....😊🇨🇦 Just my thoughts. Sorry it got so long
CONGRATULATIONS COLBY! and AS a self proclaimed STAR WARS nerd, Yes I love the NAME!!! I hope you are able to heal as well as help others with your new podcast! WISHING YOU MUCH SUCCESS!!!!!! ~ Sending you love and light!❤
Hello from Australia, You're human Corby, and when it's all said and done, she's your mum, and always will be, and maybe in time you'll want to visit her, and that fine too. God bless you and your Family. Love the name of the podcast. We all have scars of war ❤
You’re not selfish Colby. You are a sole survivor of a very sad and tragic loss. Keep pushing forward and embrace your family❤️ so many people are supporting you even if they are silent. One foot in front of the other for as long as it takes.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through! Your Sister and Brother were beautiful souls and didn’t deserve what happened to them. I’m sorry that you lost your mom too. May God richly bless you in your journey! ❤❤❤
I’ve only watched a couple minutes so I’ll probably add more later. But Colby what a PHENOMENAL idea. You are truly a remarkable young man. Husband. Father. HUMAN. The name is perfection. I cannot WAIT to hear you share YOUR STORY. God Bless you & your beautiful family. 🤍🙏🏻🥰
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mom is still alive but due to what she did to my daughter and myself, we have cut her completely out of our life. In fact we moved to a different state to get away from her. The grieving for her has taken 8 yrs, and I still miss my mommy from my childhood but don't EVER threaten MY child.
Betrayal sucks. Going No Contact is a Glorious Feeling. As the years go on, even after they die, it gets easier bc you Know they always lied. Can't fix some sh1t. Ho Hum. Thankful to not be anything like them. Again, it's a good thing, and no more lies.
Colby, I went no contact with my mother years ago. This poem by Amanda Lovelace helped to put in words my yearning for the mother that I deserved. my mother smiled as she offered a cube of sugar in her upturned palm. greedily, i accepted. i reached inside my mouth, delicately placing one (just one) on the center of my tongue, & i clamped down. salt. this is what abuse is: knowing you are going to get salt but still hoping for sugar for nineteen years. - you may be gone, but i still have a stomachache. Amanda Lovelace, The Princess Saves Herself in This One (Women Are Some Kind of Magic, #1)
What you have had to go through is horrific. There is absolutely no “right” way to feel regarding your mom. No matter what, she is your mom. And that is HARD. There is no true closure in a situation like this so if you need to reach out to her to find a little peace, then do it. If you want to act like she doesn’t exist anymore, than thats fine too. Don’t feel like you owe an explanation to anyone for how you can find peace and closure. Sending you lots of love!
I’ve lost 2 mothers but they aren’t gone either. Different circumstances. Same conflicting pain. That’s the best word to describe it. Conflicting. But it’s the best for us when we arrive here so we can actually process our grief and acknowledge ourselves for perhaps the first time in our lives. That in itself is freeing, no more hiding. Sending you love and hugs Colby. ❤️
Thank you for sharing , I suffered the loss of my daughter and I understand the process of intense grief . Your heartfelt words mean a lot ❤healing and helpful
Colby, as a mom, the first time I was SURE your sweet siblings were gone was when I heard your call with Lori begging her to tell you where they were and prove they were okay. Under no circumstances could I hear my child in that much pain and not move heaven and earth to bring them whatever form of peace I could. I knew in that instant she had already washed her hands of the truth, and to only focus on how difficult the situation was on her... Your grief and feelings are so damn valid. I lost my first child from a heart defect when he was 5 months old, and though intellectually I know it wasn't my fault, I still feel more guilt than she does. You are worthy of the mom you thought she was. You are worth all the love you give your own kids. When I got divorced I had to acknowledge the person I married wasn't who I was divorcing and now we coparent our living kids, but the grief of losing that person hurt differently but still hurt. Sorry, this is so long but from the very first time you came into the media, Ive just wanted you to know your feelings are valid. All of them. You deserved the good memories with Lori and your siblings. You can hate her and love her at the same time. You can also not hate her at all. Please be gentle with yourself the way you would be with anyone else. Your wife and family are beautiful and I want nothing but good for you all! Your brother and sister matter and so does Tammy! So many people's lives were touched by them if we can help carry that grief by honoring them in any way, so many of us will. (Anyone who wants to honor my son for instance can donate to the Ronald McDonald house ❤) I'll be following along and have some time in the grief journey (Chase would be 16 now) so anyone who wants to vent or reach out about their grief, I'm here ❤
Respect. You’ve always chosen the high road, Colby! I wish I could say the same for some of the opposing commentators. I don’t even understand where those attitudes could derive, but I’ve learned (especially in these types of platforms) that anyone can find a dark cloud in a silver lining, but by the same token, we can find silver linings in the dark clouds! That’s the one I choose! Stay Christian & close to God - as He is close to you guys!!!! Blessings to you & your precious family! 🙏🏼 P.S. Yes, I do like “Scar Wars.” Your definition was really close to what I was thinking. 😉
It’s ok to love your mom Colby- just like parents still love their children even though their child might have done something horrendous. We don’t stop loving our family just because of poor choices- remember the good times with your mom. Maybe someday - in the future- you could help someone else going through something similar.
It’s okay to love your mom. It’s okay to be sad about your mom. There is nothing easy about this from a commentator’s view. You often cross my mind. When you do, I pray. I also pray for your mom. I pray for her repentance. I pray that she will wake up and change. I pray that God will mend your broken heart. I pray for something beautiful to come out of this.
It's hard to love someone, especially a parent, who then does something so so bad. Its hard to know how to feel, but you come to an understanding of your feelings in your own time. I embrace the good memories and try not to be too bitter about the other stuff. Your good times were true, real loving memories in real time, and nothing should change those memories x
WOW! Great podcast! Even amidst your pain, you can still show that beautiful smile 😁 I admire your strength, especially for your younger age, bravery, determination, raw and true emotions, and love for your precious little family ❤️ You keep doing you, and keep smilin’ at the haters 🥰
It's called "mourning the living". I have lost people in death, but I agree that mourning those we've lost in life is a different kind of grief. I would venture a guess that you are mourning the loss of the mother you *thought* you had but never did. I had to go "no contact" with my narcissistic mother after finding out that she wasn't the person she portrayed herself to be my entire life. I cried over both the betrayal *and* the fact that I never really had a mother (the kind of mother most people have). Only those of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse can truly understand. Love the podcast name and I'm looking forward to more content! ❤
I do understand the grief of losing your mom but she is still alive. Although this is different situation totally. But my mom had a stroke, several actually. She became unable to do many things. I remember grieving over the fact she wasn't like before. She changed. Needed help in so many ways. Watching her go through that and being with her was hard but yet I was grateful. When she did pass a little over two years after her strokes. I spent alot of time with her during her partial recovery. Then I grieved again when she left this world. Thank you for sharing your feelings. My heart beaks for you. Your mother was not the mother you knew any longer. May the Lord continue to heal you and your family. You are a very strong and smart young man. Keep up the good work on your many struggles. Blessings
Colby I have a son that made bad decisions. He made bad choices that will affect our family forever. I love him so much. I wish that I could walk and talk with him. Its a living death for us. But 1 thing I do know.... I live my life for his brothers for his daughters to show them no matter what you can be happy and enjoy your life. It also shined alot on the fact that that people dont appreciate their freedom. I hope that you can enjoy your freedom as I do because so many people are locked up. Many children, parents, brothers, sisters, and grandmas,grandpas are in prison. Its a big boat with many of us in it. I'm in it with you.
I appreciate the update. I never stop wondering how you're doing when you're gone. This has just been hell since you first put out your appeal to your mom. There can never be complete closure, but I'm excited to see you guys heal and live your lives to the fullest.
As a family of Star Wars fans, we love the name of your podcast! I also wanted to chime in to let you know I really like your idea if getting permission to read emails on air. I think that could be therapeutic for all of us! You are an inspirational person and I believe your voice is important. You are a wonderful role model! God bless you.
Wow you have really put reason to this whole thing. Your statements are very appreciated and I think that all of us agree with you. You have an amazing way of explaining yourself.
I’m so thankful you could see the beauty and love that people sent to you. You deserve to have your own say and thoughts and feelings Colby. The absolute horror of trying to make it a happy place for others to play in, or take their children there?!?!?!?! No more circus babe… no more
I fully respect your measured and faith-based responses to everything you say. I also would like to let you know that it's also ok to not be perfect in everything spiritually. You are human, and it's ok to be angry. It's ok to not preface your differing thoughts and opinions with severity softening words to make everyone else ok. This is for you and your healing. Being mindful and respectful is important but not at the cost of your own emotional and spiritual well-being. By the end of this podcast, I still didn't know how you really felt about things. I, however, knew exactly how intent you were on protecting other peoples opinions and feelings. That is admirable. In my opinion, though, you're dealing with the most personal and painful situation imaginable. Therefore, your thoughts, ideas, and opinions regarding it take precedent. As someone who always did this previously, I found that I was not honoring my own inner self and unintentionally stunted my healing. You are perfect the way you are! You were made in God's image, after all. This is just my opinion, and I may be way off base. But I thought you might like to know that someone out here believes your pain, healing, thoughts, and opinions are valued and have every right to be expressed without having to justify them.
Colby, you’re such an incredible human, and I’m so glad you now have a podcast! It’s so important to heal and talk about all the trauma you’ve gone through. Congratulations sweetheart! Keep shining your light dear soul. I believe that you are specially touched by God, and he will keep you safe, and you will go on and have your baby and be the best dad to your kids and the best hubby to your beautiful, loving wife. Love you Colby!❤✨♥️
My heart has been with you from the very beginning. You are a true example of strength. Although I do not know you, I admire your growth and your poise throughout the most tragic events ever imaginable. You are a shining light in all of the darkness! You truly are making your scars shine in gold ❤
I understand what you are saying about what becomes of the land where those precious lives were taken and am glad you were able to talk to the new owners. I am sure they have the best of intentions but by sharing your thoughts on it, hopefully a decision will be reached that is the most honoring to all the victims and their families. It’s also hard to imagine that land being able to be a “beautiful” memorial site when the murderer’s family still resides all around that area (if I understand that correctly). So many ways this can be looked at but I believe it was important for your views to be shared with them. I am grateful they were willing and cared enough to listen to you as well. Praying 🙏🏼 for a wonderful ending!
Colby. Most of have never met you or everyone involved in this case but we have invested our own time n hearts into this situation so much that we all feel like we are family. This will be a never ending healing process. You do whatever you need to do at your own pace. Don’t ever be scared to say what you feel, think, want. This is your journey n every one must respect that. You are so young. What you think n feel today will change. Just remember to be true to yourself n loved ones!!! ❤
From what you have said Colby, the only thing on that property that could respect the four lives lost would be a thing of beauty, in my mind a wildflower field that develops and grows with the seasons. Thinking of you and your family from tge UK
Thank you for sharing your raw feelings. It’s probably going to be great therapy for you to process everything and you have so much love and support behind you. We wish you the best and pray you feel the peace and love in your life that only our Savior can provide.
Colby, I love that you are having firm boundaries with people and not putting up with any haters!! I'm glad to hear the new owners of Chad's property reached out to you, and that you were able to share your honest feelings with them. I love that you can see beauty in darkness ie. the fence with sentiments of love against the property backdrop where so much evil occurred! And that you're open to beauty happening there but not a place for crime scene circus type tourists to make a spectacle out of it, if I'm understanding you properly. I support you in that. ❤ Also, I think it could be better than if someone else bought it who would've kept it as is. I think if that property was kept as is, it would always draw the public looking to see where on the property those evil acts occurred. However, if the new owners tear that house and barn/shed/outbuildings down, and get rid of the pond, firepit, and pet cemetery areas - locations on the property that demarcate where the evil occurred. And plant a bunch of trees, grass, shrubs & flowers in the places of all of that - then I think it will help to erase the evil scene-scape away for everyone. And that there could be beauty for ashes, as it describes in Isaiah. Maybe those owners would be open to making the place beautiful and different, but not having it be a "public" grounds? Or maybe they would agree to keeping the public away for the next several years at a minimum or something? And that way when people drive past, there is no longer certain landmarks for Looky Lou's to look at and remember the gruesome events that happened to Tylee, JJ and Tammy. Maybe people will then drive past and say, oh look at those beautiful trees and the green grass and flowers instead of the former evil scene-scape, seeing the new beauty instead of the evil. Like how you described how the beautiful fence was as a rainbow against a black/bleak backdrop. Anyway, I support you in what you want. Your opinion along with other family members opinions matter most to me. And I want what you want. What you say, if I'm properly understanding you, makes sense to me!! Also, any feelings you have about your mother are fair!! There are no right or wrong feelings. And while feelings aren't facts, all feelings are valid!! And all of your feelings about your mom are valid!! Whether you're angry with her, or whether you miss her, or whether you're sad for her, or whether you have love in your heart for her, or whether you hate her, or whether you desire a relationship with her at some point again. Or whether if it's a whole gamut of ALL of the range of feelings. And it's okay, you don't need to share anything you don't want to. I am over here sending you love and cheering you on in life!! ❤ I wish for you every good thing in life!! I wish for you happiness, hope and love!! And a good and prosperous life!! I'm so glad you have your little children and Kelsee!! Keep on keepin' on!!
Colby, its so good to see on RU-vid! Please know that as citizens of Rexburg, Clint and I fully support how you feel about the property. We are hoping that there will be a quiet, sacred memorial for your siblings in Rexburg in the near future, which of course you will be consulted on my friend. Sure do love you. 💜💙💜💙
Hi Colby, I like the name too. I understand what you shared regarding feelings toward your mom. You have a huge history with her before her religious zealotry and it’s aftermath. I loved the fence too. Something so lovely amongst the annihilation of three beautiful people. A park would have been better. I’m guessing JJ and Tylee spent very little time, if any, at chads house. Good job! Glad you finally posted something. I was getting ready to give up on waiting. I’m sticking 😄🌹
Colby, I absolutely love the name and the concept of what this podcast is gonna be!! I’am so incredibly proud of You and always know, God’s got You. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Colby, so many people shut down and keep their trauma inside which can consume them. I’m so happy for you that your talking this threw out loud. I admire your strength.
Love the name Colby! So fitting 💙 Missing a Mom is such a normal feeling. Or maybe the feeling of what you wanted for a Mom. You lost a lot because of her. Going through a loss of a brother that is still alive and I am in a limbo place too. We just weigh it from day to day. I think I might agree with you in regards to Chad's property. It's like putting lipstick on a pig. If Rexburg needs something there, fine. But don't make it a memorial. Just change it from a property to a park with no memorial attached. Are they open to that?
This is outrageously exciting to watch (referring to the intro). You're bursting with raw talent, and just starting out. You're going to be HUGE. Welcome to the next chapter ❤
Colby, what we want to listen to on your POD is about your babies, your loving wife, how Jesus is moving in your life, our emails, and helping others heal their trauma. You're a light in this world, dear boy. GOD Bless you....
That name is so badass haha, it feels like a Super Hero or something. A war against all of our scars and a reminder that we are not broken!! So happy to hear from you and your emotions are valid (not that you need any of us to tell you that.) I completely understand the feeling of losing someone, mourning them but they are still alive. It’s a torture on itself.
I agree with you 150% about the property and your opinion about it. It is not the place for that and I hope the owners reconsider their intensions . What I personally would like to see more of on your channel is more about your little (growing ) family . More about what brings you and Kelsee joy. I know it's your channel , but, I think so many of us enjoy seeing you interacting with your children . I also think Kelsee loves to share about motherhood with us. The one video you did where you were doing Kelsees make-up had to be one of my favorites!! I know you want to help people and that's good , but you need to do things and talk about things that bring you and your little family lots of joy !!
Speaking your own mind can be healing. It's important for anyone dealing with grief of any kind to tell their story for as long as they need to or want to for healing. We can do hard things. Together is better than alone. Good for you Colby💯🙏🕊️
My 25 year old son died unexpectedly in 2008. Sept. 3rd. The grief never goes away. It's important to allow yourself to feel how you feel for as long as you live. 🙏🕊️🙏
Hello Colby, from Réunion Island in the Indian Ocean. I happened upon your podcast and listened with keen interest from beginning to end. I love the way you reason things through and I feel you are blessed with such a wonderful insight. You're a great human being - your wife and kids are so lucky to have you! ❤
I think your ability to compartmentalise is really commendable. It makes sense to miss the part of her that you did lose; she’s a different person than the mom you grew up with. Your emotions are valid- there is nothing “normal” about this situation, but you seem to be making the best of it, truly. Congrats on your coming little one.
Cody, I’m only nine minutes into your podcast and I had to pause it to write you this message. You said that you hope that you can help someone with your message. Well, you already have helped me so I have to say thank you! I won’t go into detail but I have been grieving the loss of someone (a relative) who is very much alive but no longer a part of my life and it’s brutal.
