I found what you said at 2:54 very useful: I struggle with pessimism because it just seems more realistic to me. Forcing myself to see things positively feels like I’m lying to myself or not properly addressing what went wrong. Your idea of reframing things so it’s both realistic while not degrading your self worth is something I will be trying 😊
As a lawyer I really struggle with this, because I see part of my job as requiring a great amount of negative foresight, i.e. thinking of all the ways something can go wrong in order to come up with a plan or legal strategy that can minimize those risks. If I were to assume that everything's going to be ok then I'd feel like I'm neglecting my job. It's sometimes hard to keep that mindset out of my personal life.
Thanks for sharing!! I honestly relate to this a bit since clinical psychology has such a heavy focus on pathology-it takes a more conscious effort to recognize the strengths too. My therapist and I were talking about how certain personality traits that might be maladaptive in one’s personal life could be helpful in certain vocations. For instance, black-and-white thinking could be helpful in research where a finding is either statistically significant or it’s not. Your comment is a good reminder that most of what I talk about in this video pertains to personal life, not vocational!
So it's realizing the whole situation, both in terms of the goods things and bad, but focusing more on the good and having more positive expectations for mental health benefits. I can go along with that
I think stoicism doesn't necessarily mean denying your emotions, but as someone that grew up in Missouri, I think the brand of stoicism that drives middle-america masculinity _does_ mean that.
as a self-proclaimed realistic pessimist, i didnt know how optimistic i am compared to other pessimist. that said, i hate toxic positivity more than pessimism. at the least pessimist see what the problem is, just not the answer. toxic-positivity is blind to the problem all in all and would mock you when you try to fix a problem that they are blind in.
3:35 imo, reality is chaotic, but both perspectives should be considered. It often feels nearly impossible to know what is within our control, so reflecting on what we could'e done differently is a good way to explore many possibilities and scenarios, and in the future we can take a different path more aligned to our desired outcomes. At the same time, we have to acknowledge that sometimes the only realistic outcome is the one that has already happened, we have to adapt/accept/etc (if that makes sense)
This was really insightful! I agree with you, I think it's more helpful to take a nuanced approach to personal responsibility. Attributing outcomes at least partly to the specific circumstances and external factors rather than foundational traits creates distance between us and the situation. By creating distance we are less judgemental and better able to reflect on our behaviours, allowing us to make meaningful changes in our lives. Maintaining a nuanced perspective of ourselves and the world is fundamental to our relationship with ourselves and by extension how we relate to other people
my mom used to violently osciliate between pessimism /catastrophizing and then immediately after soothe herself w toxic positivity. it was a vicious circle - she was very unwell. i was homeschooled by her, so i was inundated w that black and white thinking 24/7 and didn't see healthier, less confusing outlooks modeled out for me growing up. i had to unlearn a lot of neurotic maladaptive thinking in adulthood and replace it with the reframing that dr. ana mentioned. my life is much easier to live now, even when bad things happen
💯% spot on!! People most especially in positions of authority would love the population at large to believe if anyone is an honest person and they see the world, and situations for what they are, truly messed up on a massive scale and worse diabolical, the person is just a pessimist. Indeed, the majority are indoctrinated, programmed (through Skinner conditioning, Pavlov, Gustav Lebron (who handed the torch to Freud, who handed the torch to Edward Bernays- for group control etal) to engage in delusional thinking to believe they should be 'optimistic' about the El-ite mainstream goal for everyone to own nothing (and live totally enslaved and controlled) and, "Just be Happy". PFFT
I find having false hope in the future to be helpful. I get the positive benefits of being hopeful (less worrying, less stress, better mood) and the future is always changing anyway, so it’s not like me being hopeful or depressed will change anything in the world. It’s like a placebo
Love this video, so much to take away from it! I had two questions: 1) Is there such thing as people who acknowledge both the good and bad, but choose to turn towards the bad? And 2) What do you think of people who deem themselves not optimists nor pessimists, but 'realists'. Is it possible to be a true neutral, or would that rely on a false premise that any person could have an 100% accurate outlook on life? X
Hi Ana! I've been watching you for a VERY long time. Surprisingly enough, whenever you have had a few thousand of subscribers. Love to see your growth and education flourish! I always enjoy learning about psychology through your videos and am super happy to hear about your other works such as the journal and book. Keep going queen! :)
Ana, just leaving a comment to thank you for making such fantastic content about psychology available! You've really helped my on my own wellbeing and education journey and I'm sure you're helping so many other people! Sending you much love
Hey. Regarding the question on Components of Optimism, I would say the best approach would be to get perspective. What I mean is, take whatever happened and bring some reflection upon the opposite direction. If the problem is internal, the perspective is on the external, and vice-versa. Also, I didn't know a narcissist could be insecure and overcompensating. Interesting.
Great video as always :) as someone with OCD, adopting a positive attitude has really improved my life for the better with that being said, I do disagree with what you said at 3:15, this is not a good way to integrate a growth mindset with a healthy optimistic mindset thinking "I didn't study hard enough" for this test is a common thought to morph into intrusive thoughts like "I didn't study hard enough. why couldn't I do that?!? I wish I could go back and study hard! I suck!!!! etc..." I say that from experience since it's exactly what happened to me, but after talking to my psychologist I think I figured out a better way to deal with that situation instead of thinking "I didn't study hard enough", it's better to think "I gave an honest effort with my studies, but that doesn't mean things will always work out at my first attempt, but since I already studied one time, that means the next time when I try my hardest again, I will understand the content even better and have an easier time with the test."
You say optimism is good for this and that, but how do you know there’s a causal relationship? The association could be driven by omitted variables or even a reverse causal relationship
I think that the idea of taking responsibility for our failures may not always mean that we're at fault or guilty of the failed thing per se. Perhaps the failure was a result of something out of our control or something circunstancial, what I understand as taking responsibility is saying "Ok, I've got this failed situation, what can I do to solve it? What am I going to do to work on it or improve and learn?" At least that's what I take as responsibility, in fewer words, how you decide to play with the cards you're dealt, instead of simply complaining of the cards you got
My experience with narcissistic people is so different- they all were super positive in a very positive way like almost being extremely delusional or living a fairy tale when nothing is going well in there life (I.e after getting fired they sarcastically felt bad for the company for losing the greatest employee)
I was an optimistic person until my diagnosis for Parkinson's disease. If you know about Parkinson's disease, there is no cure. That part of the disease has brought me to my knees. I wish to get my optimism back. Do you have any suggestions? Growing up in life? I was always a cup half full thank you for any help
I think that both being too pessimistic and too optimistic are unrealistic. Even though I’ve had a very hard life before, it’s not accurate to lean to far one way or the other. Ironically, I’m not sure where I learned this from as my family and friends are very pessimistic. I do remember the previous video and I scored an 84, so maybe I slightly lean positive.
“A pessimist is an optimist in full possession of the facts” -Arthur Schopenhauer Optimists need to open a history book and learn to critically think for themselves
oof this is making me very emotional 🩶 still plan to read lou andreas salomé's optimistic perspective on narcissism, highly recommend the self-titled biopic (it's german, not sure how accessible it is) the text is brought up in the movie when the words aren't wording: basically i find psychoanalytical texts on narcissism so nuts that i'm like why is narcissism even still considered a thing
