Sorry about the jarring switch to loud R&B music for the dance battle. We got copyright claimed for the original song and this is the best we can do with RU-vid's editor. Next time we'll pick sweet royalty free music beforehand. Thanks for watching :-)
@@theradiantknight9771 1st and foremost : Values his own life far less than that off other people. Even before he became Cap and its also the reason he was chosen as a candidate for Super Soldier Serum (Grenade Test scene). Also shown by his signature tool : A friggin shield. He's the shield which protects everyone (not caring about religion, race or upbringing). 2. His general character is built on the basic values of an "honest man" archetype. Values honesty, loyalty, hard work, commitment, passion, love and peace. 3. He's a guy who does not want to lead. He's always chosen by someone to take the mantle of leader. 4. Always improving his skills on any level. Fury teaches him strategy for example, because he chose him to lead the Avengers. 5. Not hiding his failures, moreso honestly takes them as reasons to give up his position as a leader, because he does not think he would follow himself until the failure is fixed. Basically the poster image of a romanticized knight in shining armour.
Is this really a revelation though? I get that it's phrased poetically but is it not common sense that when you know who you are and are comfortable and happy with who you are that you tend to develop genuine confidence in yourself and people's opinions tend not to matter by then?
Video summary for you speed demons out there: Adjust your body language by: - 3 second eye contact with everyone in the room, this makes everyone feel acknowledged and you capture their attention - Use your hands to express and gesture (don’t hide your palms) - own your movement, embrace awkward situations, don’t close up Have fun with friendly teasing - laugh with the group (don’t always retort with a witty comment) - Double down on a joke aimed at you (this spreads the laughter in a friendly way) Tell your own embarrassing stories (this shows confidence) - Use high impact words (Keeps your audience engaged) - Act out the story vocally and physically (Again, keeps everyone engaged) Let go of managing people’s opinions of you - it’s freeing. (Was multitasking while watching this so do pardon me if I missed anything or wrote it in a hard to understand way)
@@dd9639 that fact that you even tried is a good start. At first most of us feel the same way, continue to get more exposure until that feeling slowly dissipates and watch your confidence grow. But I need to emphasize the EXPOSURE, talk to at least one person every day! Even if it's a cashier for a few seconds and just continue to add on a little time over the days and weeks
Because of the you word. It's a blaming word by nature recomindation by me try to watch it again. But replace that word, in the head with I or me enstead. That is an adiea by nature the words judgemental. As well as very very disorientating and addictive. Takes a strong mind to listen to big ideas. And especially comprehend think slow aka be patient and especially being very active and writting ideas and thoughts out or talking to others about them. I hope that was helpful to someone here.
Michael Olawoye you don’t have to have something specific to talk about, people talk about anything and everything. talk about memories, hobbies, something that interests you, something you bought. talk about something significant that happened in your day, talk about the things that are happening around you. even talk about problems. it doesn’t have to be complicated :] you never run out of things to talk about!
@@lynnieebeaniee yea that's good and all, but I have a problem with keeping the topics fluent. I could talk about the best part of my day, but once it's stated, where do I go after that. That's where I struggle most, and I'm sure many more feel the same. You seem to know what you are talking about, plz halp. I deal with this every day in school.
Recap : 1. The rule of the 3s : maintain eye contact for 3 seconds 2. Show your palms ( it apparently retains people’s attention when you talk ) 3. Move, gesticulate while you’re speaking ( move hands ... ) 4. Commit to what you express ( for example : when you tell a story, do imitations etc ... ) 5. Fully embrace awkwardness : don’t show the embarrassment if you’re disconcerted, go further : for example, if a friend is teasing you, double down the joke, tell your own embarrassing story, etc ... 6. Use words with packed emotions, you can use somehow hyperboles while you’re telling a story for example ... It can be words like : amazing, best, ... to describe little things 7. Have fun with the group, laugh at the jokes ... 8. And the last one ( finally lol ) and the most important : do not pay attention to what people think, it’s worthless, be yourself a 100%
I now realized why white people always used to boast behind their money and its because of insecurities due to the lack of not knowing how to be human!! Black people we have always been winning without money we just got tricked through the white man knowledge
This is a good point. I used to always make awkward situations more awkward, and that didn't help my relationship with friends at all. Sometimes you just got to read the room and not go through with whatever you're thinking.
@@WesleyWhiteside that just shows lack of confidence. The only reason why you'd make an awkward situation more awkward is to show other people that it doesn't faze you and that they don't have to be faze by it either. And more often then not, you can break the awkwardness by putting other people at ease with your comfort around those situations.
Some girl: aww man, that joke made we want to kms Me: yes, I have wanted to kill myself too... HaHahA *shoves palms in her face and stares at her for three seconds* CHa cha real smooth
Just wanted to say, for someone like me who's autistic with mental health issues, these videos are really helpful, thank you for making them, just watching these makes me feel like I'm understanding social situation better, I look forward to seeing how I do after lock-down from these.
When my brain knows I'm in an awkward situation it will do everything in its power to make sure I don't forget it. It's as if there's a little CD player up there that's only got one track. As soon as the confidence breaks it hits the play button. "You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. Everyone's judging you. Never go out in public again." (Replay). In reality, most people don't even notice our anxieties, and if they do they usually couldn't care less 🤷♀️ One day I will conquer my brain.
You have at first to fake, and then when you'll get use to faking it, you won't even need to fake it anymore, you'll be different. Your brain will have been trained.
Well, you know, Tom does it naturally. Its just the way he is. He was raised that way by intelligent, cultured and sociable people. He comes from a very good family. In an interview he said that his parents made the children had to tell stories at dinner. And I assume they, parents, told the stories too and his father is stand up comedian. Can you imagine how lucky this guy is? And besides, when he was a little boy, his parents always made him talk with other adults, their friends etc., to look in the eyes and talk. He said, therefore he had no problem working with adults. And he has been working since early childhood. Of course, Tom being comedian's son probably has an innate comic and presentation talent in him. Plus the observation his parents' behavior, plus the propper upbringing, plus a lot of experience. I repeat, he works in the industry - performs on stage, gives interviews, communicates with a variety of people from childhood. But still that is very good analysis, thank you. Many of us can use this advises, i guess. They are quite available. I think, the main thing is not to be too strict and demanding to yourself. Be kinder to yourself. But move constantly step by step, little by little and never lose hope.
#1:Adjust your body Language a.Use the 3 second rule eye contact (unless your talking to one person) b. Show your palm most of the time when speaking (reveal and you'll be more confident/trustworthy) c.Commitment #2.Handle Friendly Teasing a.Take Up More Space b.Laugh With The Group c.Double Down On The Joke #3: Tell Your Own Embarrassing Stories a. Activate The Confident Body Language b.Choose High Impact Words (e.g- "Amazing Trip"," Which I think was the best summer of my life!",That was maybe the most stressful day of my life." ) c.Embody The Characters In Your Story #4: Let go of managing people’s opinion of you a.If You Ever Feel Awkward,Ask Yourself,"What perception am i fighting right now?" And then relax.Because this is just a perception of you :') I'm just taking notes,but you're very welcome! :))
steampunk hulk video should be named "how does a future multi millionaire who already experienced massive success at a young age manage to act playfully awkward"
I love how I’m watching these videos like I am alien in disguise trying to assimilate into human society. Edit: this is my first top comment ever, and i must admit i feel nothing. I definitely am an alien.
My fave quote ever goes something like this: "if you can't control something why are you worried/stressed about it? If you can control something why are you worried/stressed about it?" -- whenever I think this I feel a lot more calm and confident. Imagine you are stressed talking and its awkward -- there's nothing you can do anyways. Then your body will naturally relax itself a bit when you realize you are locked in anyways and you will actually be more confident in the moment. This has helped me before exams, interviews, dates, etc..
BlankCanvas88 he's like an alien trying to act like a human, at least an alien would learn eventually how to act convincingly as a human whereas Zuckerberg, well...
Friends teasing me in public Me: Laughs hysterically along them shows eye contact to everyone while shaking my head and showing my palms to everyone Did I do it right?
@Ayor a mm you dont know what you're talking about. i have nothing to make excuses for and im productive and i am very social. yet anxiety and adhd still overwhelm me, and i never used them as excuses. its just mental pain i deal with all by myself. so your point is?
@Ayor a some people out there cant control these things, do you think you're making things better? you're only gonna make them feel more guilt and lean towards never talking about their problems, and have them constantly struggle all by themselves. i personally dealt with such problems. nobody ever acknowledged my mental problems, so i just never talk about them again, never mention them, even when it was clear that its taking over, i never mentioned it and i took responsibility. no matter what i did, i always look up solutions, the struggle is always there, if i ignore it it gets worse, if i give it attention i feel more struggle, best i can do is warp my life to fit these struggles. there is nothing else i can do.
Hey man, I don't know if you are going to read this but if you happen to stumble upon this comment, just wanted to say your channel legitimately helped me go back to the confident outgoing guy that I once was. I went through a tough heartbreak that shook me to the point where for about 2 years I became very insecure and didn't take care of myself physically as well as mentally. Today I went out with a couple friends and a few strangers and for the first time in a long time I felt that I was the leader of that group of people. I felt super confident and really comfortable with myself which definitely put most of the attention on me whenever I spoke. So I'd like to genuinely thank you for these videos. Much love - a grateful subscriber
Tom Holland gave me sense of major inferiority complex 🤣 Bruh he's so fine af! Makes me feel out of his league but I admire him for that (I'm a woman just saying but still jelous of him 🙂)
1D8G 4ZPD They're tons of articles on websites and there's tons of youtube videos that talk about that. The main component to boring people , is their everyday scheduled lives. Same routine over and over again. You don't take risks. No passion and fire in your eyes because you never leave your comfort zone. No spontaneous adventures. Not only that, but if you're constantly on social media wasting your life scrolling, it does nothing good. Start reading books that enlighten you on certain topics. Watch documentaries. Learn a new skill. Develop a new hobby. Be unpredictable.
If you feel like you’re boring in a conversation an easy tactic is to ask people a lot of questions about themselves and act super interested. People love to talk about themselves, so you’re making them feel good but you don’t have to open up too much. Just work on remaining relaxed (turn towards them, nod, smile, etc) and listening well. This has helped me in situations where I don’t know what to say to someone, whether it be because I’m having an introverted day or the person just intimidates me. Another one is to remember that you’re not as boring as you might think you are. I talk to people about all kinds of random things. They might think I’m weird, but they definitely don’t think I’m boring. You’d be surprised what kind of random topics can fascinate people! Either way, be relaxed, confident, and open. If the conversation lulls, excuse yourself and don’t be hard on yourself because we’re all learning!
“If you have the right mindset, you don’t need the exact technique in every situation... if you just let go of managing people’s opinion, most of the awkwardness (and probably stress :) would disappear.”
If you have an underlying condition you need therapy/medication. If not, therapy is still good. That being, social skills, like any other skill, need to practiced and with time you'll get better.
I pray that this guy has everything he’s ever wanted in life because this is awesome! Wife, kids, wealth, happiness......he deserves it for teaching people things like this. I just want to say thank you.
1. Adjust ur body language - 3-second rule of eye contact makes ppl feel included in whatever the heck ur talking about - show ur palms while talking 7:43 makes comments more intriguing to listen too avoids distrustfulness will come across more confidently and trustworthy - embody the ppl ur talking about too 8:47 - commit do whatever you are doing it's our fear of being judged or criticized that causes us to try to draw even less attention. But it is that limited fear that signals discomfort and creates an awkward experience for everyone by committing fully to something you don't want to do, a situation that could've gone terribly becomes one where ur confidence shines through 3:14 so if u do something goofy, whether its intentional or the opposite, ur best bet is to continue what ur doing and go all the way "by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence when every single person on the sidelines" 2. Have fun w/ friendly teasing - take up more space ur being warm by even touching ur friends u show ur not afraid to take control on a physical level. these gestures signal to the group ur not someone who should be piled onto - laugh w/ the group u get to show that you can separate who u are from the part of u that is being teased the embarrassing things that u did in the past don't define who u r if u think about that it's easier to look at them with an element of humor This is what separates the people that consistently get teased from the ones the group gives up on. if u laugh with it, it mostly goes away but even more... - double down on the jokes if u try this, you'll realize it actually puts u back in control of the convo 5:41 Ur transforming a moment where ppl might have laughed at u, into one where ur showing ur good humor and confidence. Amplify the joke and spread the laughter 3. tell ur most embarrassing stories be so good at it that ur friends ask YOU to tell ur own story if u do this, it shows a supreme level of confidence since ur the one that comfortably and comically sharing what most ppl would consider a nightmare 6:52 4. use exaggerated versions of the truth 8:11 ppl need a reason to listen incorporate words that have emotion packed into them "amazing trip" "the best summer of my life" "the most stressful day of my life" 5. let go of imagining ppls opinions of u most of the awareness would just disappear remember: 99% of the awkward situations u will encounter in ur life are made worse bc ur fighting to be perceived in a certain way. relax. its only a perception ur deepest confidence is embracing the truth of who u r MINDSET makes it just flow naturally
I finally realized that the narcissist abuse I went through growing up has hindered my sense of humor and chipped away from my confidence. I always thought people were making fun of me out of spite and good to know the difference after watching this video. Sincerely, thanks.
1. Adjusting your body language (3 Second rule of eye contact) 2. Reveal your palms ( makes you seem more trustworthy) 3. Rendition (embrace awkwardness fully) 4. Take up more space 5. Laugh with the group 6. Double down on the joke 7. Tell your own embarrassing stories 8. Activate common body language tips( when you tell stories) 9. Choose high impact words 10. Embody the characters in your story (voice,accent, etc.) 11. Let go of managing people’s opinions of you 12. Just embrace the truth You’re welcome:)
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In the meantime, it's worth pointing out that the BEST "deadpan" isn't actually deadpan... There's always a visible "cue" to the audience (whoever) that it's sarcastic... Among the best studies for this principle is "Fawlty Towers", a series by (and starring) John Cleese. He's an expert on the style... In Basil Fawlty, there's two parts to the humor to consider (just so you know going in)... 1. The "cue" to his deadpan style is "the blank stare", a pause during which you just KNOW that it's comedy... antics... However seriously "THE CHARACTER" means the line (or not), that's the point... it is still comedy. 2. The true fun isn't just watching Basil losing his mind every episode. It's about watching the other people AROUND Basil, who are bearing witness to Basil losing his mind every episode... What makes it a great study is the consistency, not just in fun... but in delivery. The jokes get varied, and the Characters introduced are relatively different. Even the precursors to disaster are different for the show, but the style is consistent, which makes it easier to functionally (independently) study so you can focus on the element(s) you want to learn most at the time... hope this helps. ;o)
I can imagine the "commitment" and "take up more space" points backfiring in so many spectacularly humiliating ways I'd rather just be awkward forever.
@@Lol-wo6is Looking at this video, I see quite a few mistakes that I have made throughout my young life, and with the solutions offered in this video (Even though my overall goal may be at a distance), I can put them into play, and get the ball rolling (Personally, that's all I ever look for with watching any of Charisma on Demand's videos - To just show me how to get things started, and I will take it from there).
Something I learned from Tom during an interview was is response to how young he looks. I used to get so offend and back offish when someone pointed out how young I looked. During an interview Tom was told he look so young, and Tom responded with a thank you. I saw how mature that sounded and although he confined to look young the perception of him being young was left and was filled with a sense of maturity.
Thousands of years from now humans will look back on this and transmit telepathic vibes across the entire population mutually agreeing "we were such apes back then"
gen·u·ine if anything these videos will be even more needed in the future as people will get more closed in,these videos wouldn’t have been needed 50 years ago.plus as the population increases more people will need these videos.
Hhhhha for me it isn't.. i just laugh and say "take 2" and we hand-shake again.. sometimes i even say "and now a cool handshake" and we act EXTRA weird and laugh it off. It's HOW u react when the handshake wasn't right.
Yep tried to give a handshake to a guy one time because I thought it would be a pretty standard thing to do but he didn’t follow through with the handshake so we just ended up holding hands... so awkward lol
Twan Willems Yeah every time something awkward happens I just say “Well that was awkward!” And we usually both laugh and then can move the conversation without an awkward pause
I was at a family gathering with a lot of people I didn’t know once, and this was when they decided to throw me a surprise party. I don’t like being the centre of attention and there were so many people there I never met so it was reeeeallyy awkward for me. Internally I was really embarrassed and shy and freaking out. Externally however, I played it off in stride, started laughing and smiling, clapped my hands to show enjoyment for their singing, walked around the room waving and thanking everyone. Honestly I don’t even know how I did it. Later, I asked my sister if I looked awkward since that was all I could remember feeling and she said I looked like a queen coming to greet the people. She said I looked so confident and sure. That observation never fails to make me surprised. I guess anyone can end up looking confident even if they don’t feel it.
You know, I kind of understand it looks like I am trying to ruine this party, but I think someone has to stop this obsession with confidence. I hate surprise parties, I hate speaking to people I did not choose to speak, and this is absolutely normal. I never pretend I like something I hate. This stop people from giving me these things. I manage any social situation, I like speaking in public, but I also realise that being adorable for everyone is not my friggin goal in life.
Alright, Tom is a rather unique case here.. Confidence + funny + good looking + energetic + positive vibes no one can beat that, even with 3 seconds rule lmao
@@jannymatthew5378 Austin, excuse me but this is my sister that was killed by metra train. It this comment is very disrespectful. I don't know who you are or if you even know her but you need to take this down.
(In my _very_ best 'TV game show' narrator voice...) You certainly build _something!_ LIKE.... your very own: _Personalized_ strains of various bloodborne pathogens! 😆😆😆
I remember how he acknowledged a post about him on the internet about how he looks like he keeps a frog trapped in his mouth and how when he looked at himself in the mirror, he thought so too 😂
I figured all of this out by myself. Although I never defined the specifics to myself, these are the exact actions I use in a group to communicate properly. Finding this video, and watching it, then realizing what it was felt a little odd. I think of awkwardness in a very specific way. It's a little hard to explain, but the key is to remember that embarrassment and awkwardness are things that are decided by you. If you don't want to feel awkward or embarrassed, you simply negate that feeling. Forcefully, or by easing yourself into it. It's not hard to find out these little tricks by yourself. After all, as long as you look for it, it'll be right there. Think of a way you want to communicate, and who you want to be. Then simply be that person, and be proud of it. Force that personality out and it will naturally merge itself with the conversation. Then everything after that is just you being you, without restraint.
Your comment made me realise my 20 year old brother does this too and that’s why he is known for his comedy and being great at interacting with anyone. I’m 25 years old and have a lot to learn from my charismatic little bro
Tom Holland is Tom Holland and Im sure he is just acting out of instinct not because he is putting forth a 'technique' or 'skill'. He's just being himself.
He may be more inclined to be this way, but it doesn’t mean he’s not also making conscious choices. I was a homecoming candidate (as a nerd) in high school. We had to dance in front of the entire school (1,000 people) on the spot. I did NOT want to do it. All the other guys looked super terrible, stuff, and awkward. They were all better dancers than me too as the nerd who didn’t dance. Soooo I just decided to get super into it and was just totally ridiculous and the school just loved it. Same thing with a karaoke contest in college. I just did queen songs and was ridiculous as people loved it even though I actually was uncomfortable in my head. So I’m not inclined to be super extroverted and confident but I learned pretty early on to just act super confident and when a moment got awkward just roll with it and it turns out better
You can observe someone subconsciously doing things well and create a technique from their actions. Just because he's not consciously thinking about it doesn't mean there isn't a method to learn
It's a technique and skill that his personality already acquires. It's like some people have more empathy. It's a skill people could learn to use better but some people have more empathy just because it's part of their personality
Oscar Reyes there are plenty of people in the real world that use these things. He’s a world renowned actor because he knows how to act, not necessarily because he is confident. But don’t take that the wrong way; his confidence is the foundation of his acting
You must be fun at parties. I mean I'm not a world known actor I'm in a little theatre group lol, but I'm doing these unintentionally and it worked for me.
Learned a lot from watching this video intermittently over this past year. Honestly feel like I've gained some confidence just from watching it. I've had friends "tease" me, and rather than take offence, I joked back at my expense and laughed along with them; the jokes against me soon died. I've been sharing more and more eye contact in groups of people. And just the other week when I arrived at work, there were about 4/5 people that were happy to see me and they all proceeded to chant my name; usually I would curdle myself and shy away awkwardly not knowing what to do. Instead I dropped my bag and started dancing, hahah. Honestly can't believe what this video has done for me.
"yeah so that happen." *Staring into my crush's eyes for 3 second, while nervously swinging my arms around* "Yeah.....I'll talk to you .... tomorrow, okay?" [Damn it, I'm scaring him]
@but why I have parents that ruined me, and gave me nothing but trauma and abuse. I didn't have a childhood or youth, spending most of time imprisoned in my house with no friends. *So yeah, I'll take the RU-vid videos thank you very much!*
0:30 he is very skilled at turning those more difficult moments around. 0:50 3 second rule of equally gaze. makes people feel included. 1:40 he shows his palms. shoes open and comfort. 2:40 more commitment: otherwise, it would show everyone feels uncomfortable. 3:40 by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence than every person on the sidelines. this is when awkwardness is forced on you. for i.e. the friends are teasing you. 4:00 when you're a guy and your friends are gonna tease you and it's not out of malice. if you handle properly, then you can be a leader in the group. take up more space: fill or occupy a certain amount of volume, often specified through the use of modifiers. 4:40 pile on/onto (someone): 1. (of a group of people) to jump or climb on top of someone: 2. (of a group of people) to attack 被欺負的 4:50 a simply technique is to laugh with the group. 5:05 you can seperate from the aspect you being teased and who you are. because those things dont define who you are. and put you back in control of the conversation 6:00 show good humor and confidence. 6:40 tell your own embarrassing story. you are in charge of your own story. 9:30 99% of the awkwardness is going to be worse if you're going to fight back. 10:00 you are not perfect. there's always going to be place that other teases. that is in recognizing those less than perfect facts and liking yourself anyways. the true confident is generated! Social blunders are inadvertent violations of normative standards of behavior. Although blunders can be embarrassing and unpleasant, most people view them as relatively fleeting and inconsequential.
Minnie Mouse prompt other people to talk about themselves. maybe ask about how they felt in a certain situation maybe one that just happened or last nights storm. People love to talk about themselves (and it takes the weight off you as the conversation holder) Or look around the room and talk about something in the room. (Seriously anything. You see a faucet.. ask about water. Do they only drink RO? Do they notice different tastes? Have they ever turned on the faucet and it came out brown?) It’s all about just finding common ground. Hope that helps 🍀
I F Small talk sucks tho Us introverts like to talk about topic topics not the fucking weather for the 100th time of the day And small talk literals usually lasts around 10 seconds max And I know this because I work at a restaurant and my coworkers love talking and I’m just not so good at it yet But I am improving, just learning to be myself and its kindve working I’ve also recently figured out how to handle my awkwardness without watching the vid at all My technique is just to not be hard on your self but instead use positive affirmations and tricking the mind into thinking nothing is wrong and nothing bad happened so that I do not build anxiety when I talk again It’s a simple but very effective strategy because the mind lives off habits and if I keep doing this eventually I’ll just be social anxiety free And that will be awesome because I have been the quiet kid in the class for 90% of my classes for 5 years now
@Layla Izumi not really, you come off as shy or introverted and women and men find that "cute" because they get to break you in and see you when youre fully expressive. if youre ugly no one cares.
