The Sex-Starved Relationship 

Are you me? I told her almost the exact thing here, 4 months later she left me.

Yes to that

Told my wife the same thing almost word for word. She replied " I'm sorry it makes you feel that way but I'm just not interested in sex" is that not the most selfish twisted thing you've ever heard?

Like the rest here in this thread, I relate to this comment. This is me at the moment. 4 years ago me and my girlfriend would have amazing sex everyday. In turn that gave me the confidence I needed for my work and my social interactions. As years go by after the birth of our daughter, things changed. At first I understood that she was too tired of taking care of our child. Ever since then sex started to becoming less frequent. I'm lucky that we can do it a time in a month and I have gone 3 months of no sex because of the same old excuse. That translated to me having almost no self confidence now. Thoughts of having an affair was on my head but sad part is I'm unattractive so that would be near impossible. Uh well sucks to be me I guess.

Karlo Palencia I’ve heard from friends of mine that have given birth that it happens to women sometimes after they have a baby. It’s a hormonal imbalance where they go through a weird depression stage and their libido drops hella and they don’t feel the same. You should try to communicate with your woman and show her that you feel attracted

absolutely!!

Yes. But a good communication can sometimes only find a way out of the situation via divorce.

Lack of options would be more apropos. Scarcity makes people put up with anything. Just leave.

Communication an opinion is the base to build understanding

Everyone knows this, but many have not been taught HOW to communicate properly. THAT is the key.

That's what it's like for me.

What are you really supposed to do it feels like I would be invalidating how they feel js by expressing how I do

I tell her how I feel and it somehow ends up as “all you care about is sex” which just isn’t true at all

I only ever actually want sex once a month when I’m on my period 😂 other than that I will do it because I feel obligated to.

Whewww

Same here, but in opposite for me. I’m a female, and I have been rejected so many times and never been liked back, I have given up hope for anything. Even if i were to be in a relationship with someone, I don’t think i’d ever feel comfortable with sex. Jokes, sure. Hugs and cuddling is perfectly fine- i just feel broken for not wanting sex ever. I guess what i mean is that we are both different sides of the same coin. I hope your troubles are solved and you and your partner can work things out in a way that both of you are happy.

Jenn Stephenson, I feel the exact same way!! So frustrating, I hope things are looking up for you now

Same here

Jenn Stephenson I literally feel the exact same 😭

Jenn Stephenson me too. it's very very lonely.

I know exactly how that feels, now we are seperated and still roomates

Sorry i am not good at English but could you please elaborate? What does it mean? I am interested.

Wow. You're so right! lol

Very well said Allison. I don’t think I could describe it better. You hit the nail on the head with your comment.

Samurai what this means is, when there’s enough sex in a relationship, then sex is not a problem. This allows couples to focus on other things. financial situations , traveling , spending time together, etc.. On the other hand, when there is not enough sex , one partner is not happy. That usually leads to both partners being unhappy. In that instance sex is 90%. Because it’s a big problem within the relationship.

Galaxy _TheBeast Wow now I got the meaning! Thank you very much!!

It’s cause and effect

@@jeffgraham436 Read the 5 languages of love and maybe you will understand why I said that.

thats a narsasistic person-

Stop It you get affection from sex that’s your problem right there

Stop It you didn’t watch the whole video, apparently.

That's because people know that there will be judgement or reactions that will be detrimental to the relationship so better avoid the issue althogether until it becomes unbearable. The alternative is that one partner will partially try and then things will go back to normal and tht will be even more painful.

Naw - thats because the other person in the conversation is a women that is unhappy with herself, emotionally immature and lacks any ability empathize. Thats why.

Because we care what partners think

Same boat 🚢 here. Any tips that you have found to work?

My ex always said the same, but at the end, I felt so much pression, trying to figure out when/what/how many times he wanted, that was just too much. It wasn't like I didn't like him or anything, but at some point, he put his self esteem in my hands, and was something that I couldn't work it out. My point is that sometimes, your partner don't know what would be the ideal for you. And in my case, I felt like he was actively making the moments more complicated to put me in a more vulnerable position, and of course, it happens the exactly opposite, I felt exposed, hurt and with all responsability over our relationship and himself

same

Thats dump, you really should ask, it goes both ways, it seems to me that you rather have Sex too often that too few, Os so Important

I get you, in the sense of wanting your partner to also feel the desire, but for me for example, I'm a guy, so usually women dont come at me. Is a little frustrating. Best scenario, every time I come at her, she's willing. But gotta admit it would be great if she came at me once every ten times. Feeling wanted really helps to fuel things up.

Yall still together

Same. This plus the other few about anxious and distant partners.

It really isn’t my business but how are y’all now?

And wat was yo perspective

It was a bot guys lol 🤣

Now that's the best I've ever heard it put . And so true just like a marriage isn't just a piece of paper. It starts with the relationship.

.. usually from the man CHEATING.... not always though, and yes women cheat too .

@@1besieged at this point JP would be asking for the data.......

1besieged no food at home? easy, just go to the restaurant 🤷‍♂️

@@1besieged Observation: Far more frequently, the man cheats because the wife turned the bedroom into a freezer. Not in all cases, of course, there are always exceptions. However, most women *know* if they're getting involved with a man who is a womanizer, or is a bad boy, or is unreliable. If they choose to stay involved in such a relationship, then wind up getting cheated on, they are partially if not wholly to blame for being delusional. Only if a man makes a legitimate commitment *then* breaks it without some reasonable cause, is she pretty much off the hook. Of course, females are averse to responsibility, _that's why it's always his fault_ even if she was an abusive harpy who maliciously withdrew sex and affection in order to get him to do what she wanted. She's the victim....right? Things are not as straightforward as most meatbags often wish to portray them to be. However, the general thrust of this video is correct. Honest communication solves virtually ALL of these problems.

I'm in that same boat. I love him, I do but the sexual incompatibility is killing me. I've told him and my concerns about either of us cheating after marriage and he says, "There are other ways to get off. Your hand for example". I seriously don't know what to do.

No, it's not. I've been in a sexless (as in NONE) relationship for over ten years. It's a miserable existence to feel lonely and undesired in your own house. Now that my youngest son has graduated, I, at 57yo, am leaving. I've never cheated, never would, but see this as my best option to (finally) have my needs met. Even if I never find another partner, at least I won't have the reminder of a person I COULD be having "relations" with around all the time.

​@@aevin_ioIn my case, I can't restart a relationship with someone who's been a roommate after so much time. If it hasn't been too long between you and your partner, you might be all right.

undergroundalcoholsi Lollll! Very funny comment. U made me lol🤣

who doesnt? bitch said she will die for you. but she didnt...chicken did not said it will die for you but it died anyways for your pleasure..appreciate chicken #ChickenWingsMatter

why not marry a chicken wing?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

undergroundalcoholsi lol

"a beautiful cycle" ...that's the way it should be ♡♡

And that’s the way it’s supposed to be! Congratulations!

@@tjsahara44.69 yes, indeed!

i don't thik i could have sex without attraction and i hardly feel attraction. otherwise it'll be full of anxiety. it's a painful life that even if I find someone "like me" a realtionship won't last because of this

That’s kinda sad you need sex to have a functional life lol

Ouch

I don't need to IMAGINE it...

It's unbelievable hurt, too much to cope with

Usually the woman though....and they still find time to flick le bean 😀🔫

Umm - it's not that hard to find a good worker. Just takes a bit of work - and a bunch of interviews to find the RIGHT person for the job. Make sure never to hire someone who you feel is bellow standard but you're desperate so you hire them. It ends up a disaster and discourages you from ever hiring again. Help him figure it out. Hire someone. And have more sex :)

why dont u help ur husband ? Work hard like him,thrn u shall feel it.

@Cindy Lou why is it God forbid did you have a traumatic experience in your life

@Cindy Lou that's sad. Good sex is something that makes the Earth move. I would seek help to find why you don't have access to those feelings that sex provides for me and others

Great point

Sage advice 🙏

Unless the dates are taken care of by one person and not reciprocated in any way.

What if you've kids and cant let them Alone

@@cronos6574 sounds like a personal problem.

I wish you luck!

If you don't do anything about the situation, it can stagnate or (more than likely) it will get worse, influencing your physical health, your marriage, your self-worth and hers as well! Think about how lucky you are! A safe medical operation that helps your situation and ends your suffering actually exists! So why not do it? For the 2 months after, well... Depends on the people, but toys in the bed are an option too!🤷🏻‍♀I wish you the best!

You’re obviously trying your best. None of what’s happening is your fault. I’m very sorry for your injury and wish you best of luck for your surgery! I suggest talking to your partner about your feelings and experiences with your injury. Learning to be comfortable with uncomfortable feelings will always help you in the long run and make you feel more confident in your relationship. Helps your partner as well so she doesn’t feel like she’s done something wrong to turn you off. Communication is key. You sound like a great guy, have a lovely day! ❤

Still wouldnt have sex if you dont want it, think of yourself pls :(

Aw man, I really feel for you and your wife. If there are no drawbacks to the surgery (other than the two months of pain) then you should totally do it! The pain is temporary and will be worth it for your wife’s self esteem, and for the enjoyability of both of you. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I hope all goes well!

Zeppelin Floyd I've been married 16 years. I can't remember the last time I had sex.

OMG THIS IS GOLD.

lolol

@Drake ICN EXACTLY don"t be passive. Even at 60 and 69 yrs old if you enjoy sex go, leave and have a life filled with love and sex. Is money and possessions more important than YOUR happiness? Happy Life!!!!

My last time was 8 August 2000. I do not miss sex. It is over rated.

It depends cause if the beginning of the relationship it was a lot of sex like most relationships than that’s just an excuse to use to make the person have sympathy while theirs another issue that’s not being talked about.

@@yordanoism That's not true...there are many reactions to sexual abuse...you can become a "cold fish," or you can become very promiscuous.

You shouldn't Date if you have any past baggage and jump from person to person 💁‍♂️

Absolutely true!

I think you are very right, also some people are upfront about this and the partner falsely says it is something they understand and is ok with, but then ” try to fix or seduce them". The "l can secretly fix you and you'll be perfect for me". I have a lot to offer in a relationship. My body isn't one of them. I can't be guilted or gaslight into it. I'm upfront. It is absolutely a deal breaker for me.

joe chenier forget those people, it’s a very common problem

4 weeks tops and I'm out. Watched too many people waste years away. You 100% did the right thing

NoFapKing gave a girl 4 months and left. Just felt like I was wasting time.

How long would you prefer to have sex?

Been waiting over a year 😢 I totally understand your pain. Needless to say we are getting a divorce

Rachita pati I can totally relate to your comment.

Rachita pati yup. That’s the sign that they’re just not that into you

Mr Nobody hell yeah lol I don’t even believe in marriage to begin with. A lot of People commit with the wrong people for the wrong reasons

I agree with You,You can't meet the others wants and needs if both are not willing to honestly talk,if one doesn't then they obviously don't care,i would live an honest conversation with a women who was willing to listen

Then theyre not right

And sex

Thanks captain obvious

@Kurt Barryman her comments got deleted, would of loved to see her ridiculous wamen response

No It's women not wanting to bang

Exactly what happened with my ex husband

That's why people cheat. Cause they lost their only option

@@angelostanojevic304, that’s one of the possible reasons.

@@AV57 For men it's the Main reason. You're going go sexless for months cause your wife is "stressed"

This is so true

I'm living polyamorous and the whole sex thing is so much easier because of it.

Ive watched this video a few times. Just can’t bring myself to show my Lady. But it sums up exactly why I “always am mean and have a tone” as she says it.

Bro I’m having to make the most difficult decision ever

​@@ProdOchoowhats your decision?

@@marthacornish42 I had a convo with her I think we’re good

I'm in the same situation now. It's been going on for months if not a year. There were conversations, even gynecological examinations to make sure everything was okay. Sometimes I thought she was cheating on me, but that's off. It wasn't boring either because I'm inventive and have a slightly higher libido. But in her opinion, twice a month is cool and you have to earn good sex. Ultimately, I don't think I have anything to count on changes and it's time to get out of here. Everything would be fine just fucking sex! Rather, its absence. I'm 30 and she's younger, it's a misunderstanding.

As long as she's grabbing your balls and racket...be happy. Lmao

I totally agree. 😂

🤣

The lack of yoga in my relationships is really taking it’s toll. He’s bitter that my abs are toned and his aren’t maybe if he’d just get his ass on the mat! 🙄😭

It is really tough without pool, billiards, and snooker as well.

Angeline I know just what you mean ‼️😻

lol

Angeline hahahahahahaha pieces of steak face

snow2312 Yes exactly couldn't have put it better.

Angeline Roald Dahl

On which part of the planet shall we all find that one person and know that it's him/her? Damn... It was easier said than done

Words to live by. I just recently ended a relationship for the lack of sex. When I would try to communicate, she would shut down, or get very defensive like she was being attacked. After a year and a half I ended it, and I feel 3x better.

That shit wears off though. 😭

mndlgh it wears off it you let it. Unless you are elderly and really up their in age there’s ways to prevent it. Like eating healthy,exercising,having sex regularly. Women and men are losing their libido so early on in life because they aren’t doing anything to maintain it for as long as they can,

@@shellybabes leave him now

Yea. 6 years here too. I’m just tired. It’s not ok to feel like this. I feel like I’m nothing and I know I’m not but it’s a hard feeling to shake… I can just have sex whenever. Women tend to like me, but I don’t want them. I want my women and it’s getting to the point where I’ll have to turn into that tennager I once was. I’ll just jerk it, stick to my hobbies and friends and let this run it’s course. It’s hard as a guy since my hormones attack my brain so aggressively but I’ll have to stand strong on this I guess. It’s the only way I can feel like I’m a person worth something

I can fix that!

Khalil Garrison isn't that what match.com is for?

They say love can be found in strange places and that would include RU-vid ;)

professional victim detected

yosharian I am offended by this

Daniel MGF you and your wife seem to have a good understanding of each other. What a blessing!

That’s awesome!

Well... What if only one of you were exhausted due to work? Another person was just playing along?

I needed to see this comment sir

That is great to hear! Since my gf and I have a similar problem, how did you manage to make it work? My gf has a lot of daily stress and therefore can't really sit back and get herself in the mood and I obviously try to reduce that stress but it doesn't seem to be enough.

Old age too. Some age poorly. Furthermore, people put their partners on pedestals and it's a long way down when he/she fails. Plus some want others first, so cheating is encouraged.

Absolutely agree, Kathy.

I agree, fluoxetine killed my sex drive, im having problems with my husband, he saiys that I put me taking antidepressants like an "excuse" to no wanting sex, but What can I do? You cant take an secundary effect like and excuse :(

Kathy McGirt that’s a great point. In the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend he had a low sex drive from depression. We got him medical help, now his sex drive is up. But as life situations have gotten tougher, now I’m in depression and anxiety and need help, as well as have a low sex drive. Love and sex, is great. But understanding how to help someone underneath it all, to become healthier in general is more important

Not to mention the pill, which actually lowers women's libido among the other brutal side effects

Idk if you believe in Jesus but I'd try to get him prayer at church and have whatever demons are messing with him to be casted out because this isn't normal

Heya look up dismissive avoidants. Sounds like you are seeing someone who is destroying but they don't mean to. Remember you are amazing and from my own horrific experience as well, should be with a secure or even anxious attachment style. Don't let that self esteem go any lower and realise it's not you who has the issue x

Time to leave

Hey, it'll all work out. :) The best advice that I can give is to be forward about how you are, and do the best that you can. Due to romanticism, sex is kinda a part of relationships, however there are workarounds, like polygamy, if you're into that. I'd have difficulty with that, and I would just try and talk to the person I'm with.

Gavin Boutdy its impossible for a human to be asexual... thats self reproduction like worms

Ximena Tellez. Sexual orientation is malleable between both genders, but more so in women. Besides that, just talking to your partner and engaging in honest conversation can't hurt.

Jamal Williams I suppose I should've clarified, "asexual, as in the orientation". As in someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction to anyone.

Asexuality is just a phase caused by traumatic experiences or it's being gay and in the closet.

Definitely not about sex, just being touchy and intimate. You don’t have to have sex, it’s just your partners response hugging and kissing in bed is just enough.

this stupid issue didn't exist for most history because people had actual issues to deal with

@@appiah948 Those women who don't even want touch or hugging reject it BECAUSE they think it will lead to sex. Too many women are taught not to ''tease'' a guy into wanting more, so they pull back even further.

Not really true. As a man, being close and intimate and touched is all good, but it is not the same need as sex. I wouldn’t be able to be satisfied with just cuddling, though it seems some people would.

​​@@josephk.4200eah...these posts are clearly from women 😂. It IS about sex. Guys can have fantastic sex with people they don't care about or like.

Same same lol

Your virginity is a gift dude. Most chicks wanna take advantage of your kindness and generosity. I wish I was a virgin.

Virgo is a constellation.

Goddamit, you got me

Better be a long time virgin then having sex to early. Especially women shouldn't let their innocence and purity be taken without being in a long lasting relationship

So true.

You obviously were just lacking self control.

Do you really believe that or are you just being sarcastic? Because if you believe it I think you disregarded the comment in and on itself

@@sarahrobertson634 You obviously haven't read his comment properly

I have similar feelings. My last partner was almost not interested in sex with me, in 2 years there were about 7 times. At the beginning of the relationship, he warned about his trauma, assumed that he was asexual, said that his past girlfriend blamed him a lot because of this. Therefore, I tried to be the most sensitive and gentle person, never to ask for anything. He didn't even mind me having sex with others, but it broke my heart. I had problems with body acceptance and self-confidence before and after this relationship it got even worse. Of course, I tried to think that the problem was not with me, he was just such a person, but the thought that I could not be attractive and desirable did not give me rest at all. Now I have a husband, we have a great relationship, but my stiffness and shyness has not gone away, which makes it difficult to enjoy sex. It's hard for me to directly say this to my partner, but after reading the comments, I think I'll try to talk.

Exactly the same situation with me mate. Totally feel for you as your story was spot on from mine. I hope your get your self esteem back soon as do I. Wishing you the best dude

I love love u u u u so so much forever really I like u i mske u so so happy i am single relationship with me i am alone 😗😗😚😚😘😘😙😙💑💑💑💑💑💑😍😍😍❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋🙋🙋

@@MuhammadImran-ln4fz tf

it's true your sex libido decrease and you have less interest by age you get older and older

I think it is irrelevant what is normal. You are in a specific relationship, not a relationship where the averages of relstionship dynamics are at play. You don't need to settle for anything, just because it is the norm. In saying that you are happy in your relationship - from a holistic perspective - that should be what matters to you.

I’m in my 20s and sex has slowed way down lol

Even as a young man i know that I can’t have it all. I know my drive won’t dip so hard into okd age and I told my women that I’ll handle that. It’s natural. But her lack of libido right now is killing me. Idk if I can take it. I’ve got 30 solid years I don’t want to feel lonely in

100%

Learn some self control. WTF is wrong with you?

Yes, but if you're an asexual person, it's YOUR responsibility to be aware of your own asexuality and refrain from dating or getting involved with people who are naturally sexual.

Nothing is broken until a gorilla named Menopause enters the room.

​@@RubanLawrenceI couldn't agree with you more!

You guys should go to couples counseling.

Exact feeling!!

That's real bro 👍

Maybe it's the contraceptives she's using if they're hormonal,you can suggest a change of them.if you've really done all that cause it's crazy ..I feel u

Mannn just hookup with other women

teh one Dad does too

your mom cheated before- she just got caught that last time

@teh one nah he was the one that caused her to cheat

@@ceterisparibus8966 till u are in that shoe u won’t understand

@@ceterisparibus8966 nobody "makes" you cheat, only you are in control of you

Outermost_Owl So uplifting comment. I really wish to have relationship like yours

How beautiful. You have a truly healthy, loving marriage. What do you attribute that to? Great role models growing up, great match, faith or all the above? Inquiring minds want to know!

That's so beautiful to hear. My ex and me were always laughing and having fun together, unfortunately one day I did something that left her angry (it wasn't cheating or lying) and she broke up with me. It's been almost 6 months and I still remember all that good times. Wish I could bring them back :(

Rafael Paz, sounds like your partner got triggered and did not possess the tools to deal with things so she fled. Think about her overall attachment style in the patterns from her past. Your attachment style is formed in childhood. She has, like 50 % of the population, an insecure attachment style and this is what she does when things get bumpy in a relationship. Not good. There are some great videos on RU-vid explaining the styles: avoidant/dismissive, fearful avoidant or disorganized, anxious/pleaser and secure. Usually avoidant and anxious styles pair up. You can become an earned secure if you have a more insecure style and have much better relationships with good, clear communication. Check it out and have a great day!

Cindy Pope, thks for your reply! Yes, I'm a student and I also have to support myself and pay my studies and for that I usually work during the week from 8 am to 11pm. So, the weekends I spent with her. Last year she decided to go for holidays in europe for 2 months with her mother. Then, a week before her departure for holidays, she came over my place and we spent the night together, but we had no sex, even though I really wanted as she would stay away for 2 months and our last sex was 2 weeks before that night. The following week I had 4 test at my uni and I didn't study for those tests because I was with her that weekend, so I got really angry because I felt like we were more like friends than partners. We were together for just 5 months and I didn't understand why we were having sex just twice a month. So, the following weekend she was expecting to see me on Saturday and Sunday(Sunday evening she was leaving for holiday), but I told her I would see her just on Sunday as Saturday I had to study. She got really pissed off and broke up with me by text. I called her after, but she said she was really tired of seeing me just on weekends, she said she didn't need a "mate" for weekends, she need a boyfriend. Started to compared me with her brother, saying that her brother works everyday and after finishing his work he goes see her girlfriend etc... Started saying she was too young (26 years old) and she wanted to enjoy life etc... Then, in the end she said that for now it was over, but if I wanted I could send her text when she was on holidays and then when she returned from holidays she said "We will see". I said to her, NO, I won't text you, if it's over it's over. She got even more angry and blocked me on Facebook and we haven't spoke anymore. It's been 6 months . In the beginning I was ok with the break up, but after few weeks I started thinking too much about her and started feeling really sad for the end of the relationship. We shared so many similarities and we were always happy together, laughing, making jokes, making plans for the future etc... She said she liked me so much and I was the first of her boyfriends to meet her family. We used to say to each other how blessed we were for meeting one another and I always treated her with respect, never cheated on her and no lies, but I got shocked after she saying all those sweet thing to me she just decided to broke up for silly stuff. A month later was her birthday and I sent her a happy birthday text, she reply back thanking me for the text, then, I tried to get close to her and sent her another text, but she never return the text, this was 5 months ago. So, that's my story haha. When I was with her I felt like she was the woman of my life, I really thought we would marry, but...

The reverse is also true. When you are sex starved and have been rejected many time, it became hard to engage in romantic activities. "Why should I bother inviting her to the restaurant, it will end with her rejecting me and then we are gonna have an argument. I will go drink a beer with my friend instead." No one is owed sex, no one is owed romance. It's a balancing act between give and take.

@@ameunier41exactly. My partner wants to go one more date nights and get drunk just to fall asleep every night. She constantly wants me to give her back rubs and touch her, but sex… gets shot down these days. I’m so frustrated.

Lucky you… Wanna know why I get? I get a man that is extremely hot. One that used to turn me into a blazing furnace. I married him 11 years ago and went on to have multiple kids with him. Here’s the problem… I refuse to get turned on these days because he’s always given me less than a minute of pumping and boom. Done. I’m ALWAYS left to be pointer/middle-d or use a vibe myself. It’s not the same!!! That would be like me making him use his hand. He’s almost 40 and is still a 30-60 second man. I’m 30 and I can’t feel my hormones increasing for more but I look at him and feel disappointed. I used to tell him it was okay when he’d feel bad but I feel like I’m being cheated in the adult fun while he’s getting what he wants.

I feel so much pressure about sex being a need and not a desire. Like something I am supposed to check off the list. The more he complains about the lack, the less it makes me want to do it. It becomes a child-like need and it is not attractive. Idk what to do. I feel I have completely lost my sex drive.

Im with ya.

This video doesn't talk about those who are emotionally unavailable and therefore have never felt an emotional connection during sex. To those people sex gets boring and they don't care as they are uncaring in general. They prefer to watch porn as they have to make no effort, also the porn often gets more and more extreme as normal stuff gets boring to them, or maybe they cheat. They need that extreme excitement to get off as the emotional connection is lacking. You'll know if that's the case

If you aren't married, LEAVE. But, when you do, try to get him to tell you why he didn't want sex with you. LISTEN to his reasons without being defensive. If he listed things that you can change, change them and have sex with your new BF when you get one.

Maybe he just wants cuddles instead of sex?

Your stereotyping, self-hating and generalizations of women are why he treats you like this.

So true. I was married 18 years and my husband had little to no interest in sex. One reason I left.

Where do you find men like that? I'd love to date a guy who isn't obsessed with sex. It's so annoying.

@@tiacuppe6681 Get an old boring dude with ED

I would think that more men do not want sex. They want us to believe that it is the women but it is not so.

@@tiacuppe6681 RIGHT!!!! Like can we talk and have fun. The pressure for sex is insane. I like sex but its starting to feel like relationships are only fueled if sex is involved.

***** thank you for making such high quality and valuable videos)

mic9check it will, eventually. Better be ready)

mic9check One can never be sure. And people do change so that even a very deep personal bond might not hold them together. To be warned is to be armed, as Russians say.

+mic9check That sounds sort of naive. :/ In an ideal world, communication would really be all that was needed. But its not. Its maybe the most important, but it doesn't guarantee long term success.

+Warp Scanner Depends on what your definition of 'success' is. Everybody getting what they want or the right decisions being made ?

I have always been really patient cause i love her beyond any limits and i thought we had normalised it and reached a checkpoint but everything starts to fall back again to zero its like i have to from zero again like i am some stranger to her and not the closest person she knows. It eats me out from the inside oh godddd everyday is a torture and as the torture continues i have become so grumpy. And it makes me feel like i am some problem to have high libido and it hurts me so much😔 and i end up talking too much about it still she doesn't take any initiative and i am hurting someone just get me out of this phase please just make her want me

​@@alanajimon6767 that sucks, I hope it gets better. Many times I also felt really bad with myself about this. My opinion: Don't overcompensate on porn, because its worst. I did that sometimes and now I feel it drove me me further away from my real sexual life/vision. Try to work on other points of your relationship. Spend time together, do new things together, maintain your friendship and talk about each other problems (not only sex). Sometimes this can bring sexual desire in a more organic way. I felt the way you said many times (like we've didnt improve at all) but now I realize that is because she ALWAYS will have those scars and sometimes she will be more introspective/defensive and will not be as inclined towards sex. Also, in general, she is simply not a person with a high sexual drive because of all that happened to her. I, in the other hand, have masturbated a lot and had way more sex than her throughout my life, so I'm more inclined to sex. Sometimes I miss more sexual relationships that I had in the past, but most times I'm pretty contempt with a relwtionship that is not as much focused on that because of the other things that I like about her.

younglink309 noice

How was it?!

That’s so alpha

Woah, I thought I was a badass

It was awful.

Haha great comment

This is why I can't get married legally in the western world

Seriously.

I'm going on 3 years. My wife doesn't see this as a problem at all.

Curtis Schepers leave its not worth it or be in a open relationship

Keepers of the Grid Exactly!

'Good for you I'm glad You had the courage to end it

you needed to tell him -even when you are walking out of the door bags in hand. I know a man who treats his GF the same way and he treats me in a similar manner. I am hoping she snaps and stabs him.

I love u Really I like u I am alone single 💑💑😍😍😍❤❤❤🙋🙋🙋💋💋👄💏💏😙😘😘😚😗😗

Did you communicate this? If you did not that’s your fault. You likely accepted and enjoyed it until you didn’t. And instead of being mature and voicing this you simply began to resent him…

Surviving as Mom you're fucking awesome

Talk to the mother of my child please.

You're cute

Way to go!

You are a good woman. I feel so bad for men trapped with frigid bitches.

Kelly Moy clothes

Kelly Moy clothes...are you serious?

Husband: Honey, I am a tentacle monster... I hope you can still love me, regardless. Wife: You are? ME TOO! Let's do the nasty! *que "wet" noises*

Scabbage 😂😂😂

WTF XD WAHAHAHAHA This channel knows some powerful kinks xD

Lol

Nancy McCurry wise words!!

I cannot agree with you more, Nancy. It never fails to amaze me how many people cannot see this, especially as it's usually pretty obvious.

jellybean91 I know, right? people need to build the relationship and keep on building it if they hope to have a long-lasting, physical relationship.

President Trump , awww, poor thing. Maybe try a little butt play yourself with some guy friends and see if you can find a workable sales pitch, after.

President Trump i have noticed girls dont want it in the butt best not to ask let them ask instead

Rac Morr I am beyond ready 2 be single again. I dont even think I want to marry @ this point.

Being in a loveless marriage is the loneliest I've ever felt. At least when I was single there was a chance for passion. Now I'm just trapped.

@Gaming On A Shitty TV good luck my friend. Keep me posted how everything goes.

Best comment so far

The cellphone has basically destroyed any chance for a relationship these days.... people can't get their noses out of them for even 10 seconds.

thank u - it's incredibly dismissive to say that (almost) everyone wants sex, and makes people with naturally low libidos (me for example) feel unseen.

I used to want sex frequently until I started taking antidepressants. My libido diminished to basically nothing, and it's hard for me to even feel sensations during sex sometimes. I tell my partner that I'm happy to have sex whenever they want, but it's not something I feel I need... I have only rejected sex once in our relationship, and that was because I was sick with some stomach bug...

they do talk about it and how both people should communicate what they want from sex and hopefully reach a compromise. they even mention how people are always slightly sexual incompatible and that's why communication is important. they don't say having less sex than 4x/month is bad or that it's a sign of a sexless relationship. it's simply a statistic for divorced couples (also important to notice those are averages). they mention that sex-starved relationships are relationships where at least one party is not getting nearly enough intimacy as they need and that varies from person to person. a couple where one has high libido and the other low libido can be challenging. if a compromise is not reached, at least one party is always going to feel unsatisfied. it's a team effort. if both don't make the effort, then there's a significant incompatibility which will likely doom the relationship.

Exactly my thoughts, this video made me feel worse about myself because I'm taking oral contraception for medical reasons and it makes my libido nonexistent. In a state like this having sex with your partner is nothing more than a chore that you need to do so they're happy. But that just leads to more trauma that will make it even more difficult in the future to deal with sex problems. And everybody's talking how shitty it feels not to get sex/feel unwanted by your partner, what about how difficult it is to hear that your partner feels unloved because of this one thing even though I would give my life for them? Should I just force myself to have sex and lose respect for my body?

​@kate90jang i'm so glad you said this, it feels like these people think they are entitled to sex in a relationship. if my partner would only have sex with me because i want to have sex i would feel horrible not because i'm "unwanted" or whatever, but because my partner feels guilty for not feeling like it. nobody owes anybody sex, and if anyone is truly unhappy in a relationship because of the lack of sex, which is completely out of their partner's control (literally nobody controls when they feel aroused or in the mood for sex) then honestly just break up and find someone else.

@Tony Mario what do you mean by you're cattle?

Relatable

That's why people leave. Single life is preferable by far. Better to be lonely for life instead of in an unhealthy relationship.

Ong so true

i was going to say that "no sex before marriage" is a baaaad idea. My experience has been that men who talk about wanting to "stay celibate" before marriage had serious sexual issues: either some sexual dysfunction or even being gay... so they didn't want their potential wife to find out until after marriage

There are 7 Billion people on earth.....so somebody is bothering.....

Ain’t that the most accurate response yet.

Cassandra Etc porn has replaced sex.

No it hasn't. Plenty of people are having sex. Some people use porn as a tool. Some people make their own......

Or a fact that you married a nun who thinks just mentioning the word penis is improper

For real

Yea that’s a very good month. I reckon the writer thought about it and chose that number.

Oh, the glory days of 4 times a month!

I need it 4 times a day

voodoohamster This is my exact situation and I don’t quite know how to handle it man...

Keep it movin boys you're wasting your time

Stop respecting women

@@rhinoward14 your girl may be feeling insecure and unsafe in your relationship. Withholding sex on a woman's part can often be linked to feeling not valued. How can you change that and save your relationship?

pia madison are you illiterate he said he left her for a reason

Didn't thought there was anyone around here moments close. Hehehe. Maybe am the only one seeing yo comment here

Lmaoooo wtf 😂😂😂😭

Wyn Ardani if you don’t have kids, leave. You will never be able to get a cleaner break than when there are no kids involved.

Get out

Maybe both of them really are siblings lol (Just kidding, please no bully)

I thought thats how it was with my husband and I but i honestly think i have the lower drive. We sometimes even seem to flip. But i dont usually say no either bc ive come to realize how important sex can be. I know i can say no and have in the past but we both have insecurities that can make us feel unwanted when we domt engage in sex either. I do enjoy it when we do

@@Celeste-jh2lj Just to get an idea, what kind of frequency are you talking about? Are you in the 4+/month?

@@zz19991 frequency?

You just need to learn self discipline

That's how the rejecting partner always shames the one initiating. Always.

@@mrsherwood2599 well yeah. if i told my partner I did not want to do somthing and they keep trying to pruesser me to do it I would shame them.

@user-qu2sy8gh4u initiating in a sexual relationship is not pressuring. Perhaps you are referring to...a friendship.

@@mrsherwood2599 it is pressuring when your partner tells you know and you keep asking....aka pressuring them to due the deed with you. you do realize pressuring people into sx is commonright?

@user-qu2sy8gh4u are you really young? I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding. If you're really young that's a different story. When i was young i never would have pressured a young woman about sex. If two adults are in an intimate partnership and one partner does not want intimacy, there's a much bigger problem. If anyone is pressuring anyone in an adult intimate relationship, there is a bigger problem. There's no need to be sarcastic. I know a lot of things, I'm quite grown up. If you're an adult and you got into an intimate partnership with an adult there would have been a reasonable expectation of intimacy. If I join a band I'm going to be expected to play guitar. It's not "pressure". If you don't want to play guitar don't join a band hon. And then shame the band when you refuse to play your guitar. If you're being pressured you need to leave or work on your boundaries. Why are you letting that happen?

You words seem wise but at the same time all things are a fight so does that mean it is worthless to pursue no but it is what gives it value and meaning.

Ehhh i kinda agree. I think maintain is a better word. You have the partner but you have to fight/maintain the relationship now. Many people stop putting in effort once they have the partner bc should be it right? But we are human and imperfect so its never that easy

Agreed. The only time fighting for your partner actually works is on the Hallmark channel. Anywhere else, it's considered stalking or game-playing. (I'm defining fighting for your partner as a kind of chasing after them literally and/or metaphorically when they've seemingly given up.)

Me too...

🥺

I get it. Going without sex and intimacy for years in a marriage is torture.

@longrider TRUTH

what have you decided, after all?

Dude, get special help for your marriage, your point of view is wrong

If a partner keeps promising to do something, and doesn't do it, she's just holding you for something. Whatever it is, it's for selfish reasons, and she doesn't love you as much as she loves herself, if at all. A lot of people take for granted that all partners love each other, or all parents love their children. It's actually not true. Love means actually caring, listening and making changes to make the other person happy and fulfilled, and it has to be *mutual*.

It’s been a year since your comment, if nothings changed leave man. Your paying all the bills and providing and getting nothing in return. Do you have any idea how many women there are That would actually appreciate you? Keep scrolling through these comments, you’ll see men that waited 30+ years. Don’t be one of em.

Jesus barroso riveriego How is he wrong idiot?

Would you get couples therapy? It might work.

Not sure about that. Some men use the word ''love'' when they should say ''sex''.

Guys find it really hard to understand all this "feelings" crap. But it is definitely very important to women and as a married man you need to learn a little if you want a long happy marriage.

@San Francisco Love: I agree. However, people's definition of being loved change and it changes ever faster with technology that flashes other people's successes in our eyes. The requirement of being loved will climb, and climb, and climb until it becomes unsustainable. I know so because I really tried... and ultimately failed.

True, women spend a lot of time on Facebook or other sites looking at people posting things such as trips to Paris or whatnot, and they start wanting those things for themselves. Problem is not every guy can afford that and this in turns leads to money problems in the relationship and eventual break up. Each day girls become more and more materialistic.

Statistically, Men biologically seek more things. Women are normally okay with living an average lifestyle. If you look at places like norway, women will pick low stress and low money relating jobs. Also As a woman, I don't use facebook or look at what other people do. Find a better girl, homie.

+Samaslamatha Women do choose low stress, low income jobs all around the world. But this is because they expect to find a husband who makes more money than them with a higher stress, higher income job.

Same

Yes, indeed. Thank you

blasting it at "full volume" probably didn't help

Lmfao

Good effort though LOL

They don't care try speaking to them n its useless same with my partner i try explaining that we should do it more often but its like why we old please we are 28 n he is 29 now. This is always the excuse since we 23years old n I started to believe that

I'm sorry for you

Oh is that so? Why don't we kick it and I'll make you feel appreciated and accepted if you know what I mean 😉

That happened to me to. It really hurts.

It's really tough to go through

dude how??? i just dont understand?? what is the importance of having a dick in u for a few minutes?? I DONT GET IT if u love each otherr can't u like,, cuddle and say nice things and isn't that enough?

@huh? You clearly have never been in a committed relationship before. That's what my partner is telling me. Cuddle, hugs, whatnot. That shit is not enough. I'm not even asking for much, once or twice a week. But hell, I'd get a sex a month if lucky. This shit is driving me nuts.

Yes. The couples have to talk.

Something else? Like what??

@@croslash1 such as lack of communication and emotional connection

So true something which was not discussed

But isn't that just part of a maturing relationship? At some point the passion disappears, you have children, you get older, hormones change. The frequency of sex does not define the quality of the relationship, but how the couple handles it and how comfortable they both feel about it.

You're right, I've been reading these comments and feeling an odd mixture of encouragement and dread. Having sex 2-3 times a week, as some have said they do, sounds insane to me. I'm lucky to have a patient and understanding partner, and I'm sure there's someone out there who will be a good match for you as well

This convo basically ignores asexual people who don’t need sex to love someone.

Same. I have the same problem with my husband. I dont know what to do. I dont know if there is something wrong with me or if he has a very high sex drive.

@@shannacollins8371becasue if your asexual be with someone asexual not someone who needs sex…

You are still worthy of a relationship! You'll just need to find a connection with someone who has a similar drive to you.

Right?

I am dealing with lack of sexual desire with my partner

Desire can wax and wane, but if it's truly gone, you're right, it can't be brought back by talking.

I like it I like all of their animations, the sexual videos being some of my favorites.

Mr. Turtle how about Stephen King animation?

I loved it. They may not be 'pretty' (subjective, yes), but they seem almost completely gender neutral, thus befitting for various couples.

It embraces the differences between people, as there is no normal. The Human psychology in reality is much different and less of what one might observe as normals. We are monsters.

I agree 100%

Exactly right. Or they've tried over and over to communicate their needs with their original partner but were shot down or ridiculed each time, so they gave up and temporarily went to someone else instead. I'm not condoning that behavior, just agreeing that it's not always out of spite or revenge, but sometimes pure loneliness.

Or maybe they could just leave I don't know

"the motivations for an affair aren't always revenge" Such thing is never implied.

YES YES YES

Shut up

as well asexual people will also find their ideal partners easier .

You do know that the "A" in LGBTQA stands for asexual, right...?

+Mary O'Mara never heard of that c:

+Sushi Lover yup :) it will be better for both sides.

It would be great if that were the case, but unfortunately we still in a word where sex is thought of as "sacred" and a cure-all to relationship problems apparently. Now we get videos like this, insisting it must be just as important for everyone lest there's something "wrong" with you. :(

Never beg someone to be in your life. If you text, call, visit and still get ignored, walk away. It's called 'SELF-RESPECT'😎 straight up your head girl, and MOVE ON form this toxic relationship. Life's too short...

Same thing is with me,it's been seven years of our relationship bt she is still not ready for sex, it makes me feel unloved n incomplete... I'm scared of breaking this beautiful bond though. Why girls can't think like us??

After getting out of my 4 year relationship with this exact problem and eventually entering a healthy relationship, I could clearly see how the progression to lack of sex was strongly correlated with my decrease in happiness and hope for the future, and I *immediately* found happiness after exiting the relationship. If you can, you need to, because when you look around in life and have no hope and no happiness other than solitude, you can enter some very dark places. For everyone who reads this and is in such a relationship where the partner refuses to communicate or attempt to reconcile, leave before it gets worse

But that one end (of frustration) needs to either vent, or talk you way on to a solution…..