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The Speech I Never Intended to Give 

Marcus Buckingham TV
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Some of you know this already. Others of you do not. Except for friends and family and close colleagues, I’ve stayed silent.
A few weeks ago, I was invited on John Maxwell’s Live2Lead stage to speak. The night before the event, John invited me to dinner and we had a good long chat about what was going on in my life. And of course, because it’s John, we talked a lot about what it means to lead. Authentically lead. I didn’t sleep a wink that night thinking about how I have stood on so many stages for the last six months hoping to ‘lead and inspire’ all of you, while my head and heart were somewhere else.
Earlier this year, my son, my daughter, and I were unwittingly caught up in the college admissions scandal. Despite the media asking me to make a statement or come on their shows, I’ve said nothing in public. First and foremost, to protect my children - they are victims in this and their experience belongs to them.
But I was silent also because I could think of nothing positive to come out of this mess. For the first time in my life, I was really stopped in my tracks. Stunned. At a loss for anything I could pull out of this fire.
The day of the Live2Lead speech, I stood in the green room watching Rachel Hollis on screen. She didn’t have a speech ready. Her brother-in-law had just passed and she didn’t feel prepared. So, she just spoke beautifully from her heart. I couldn’t walk on stage after that dinner with John and after watching Rachel be real and raw, and pull out my perfectly curated speech. It felt disrespectful to John, and to the audience he loves so much.
So, I didn’t. I started to, and then stopped half-way through. Without dwelling on my kids’ experience, I attempted to describe the one positive insight that, after six months of confusion, kept resurfacing. I have clung to it, grateful for its uplift. None of us will ever be perfect parents, but this insight reminded me that I can always do better. I hope it might do the same for you.
It was funny, when I arrived home I thought of you all. The audience I care for so deeply and feel so fortunate to have. Some of you right here with me for twenty years since First Break All the Rules. How lucky I am to have you. It felt strange to me that the Live2Lead audience knew something you didn’t, so I thought the respectful thing to do would be to share with you the clip of the speech that John sent to me.
I hope you take a few minutes to watch. And I’d love so much to hear from you.
___
Marcus is the author of two of the best-selling business books of all time, has two of the most circulated, industry changing cover articles on Harvard Business Review, and has been the subject of in-depth profiles in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Forbes, Fortune, Fast Company, The Today Show, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. After spending two decades studying excellence at the Gallup Organization, and co-creating the Strengthsfinder tool, he built his own company that began as a Coaching + Education firm, and quickly turned into a Human Capital Management Tech company. He is known as the world’s most prominent researcher on strengths and leadership at work, and today leads all People + Performance Research as Head of the ADP Research Institute.
___
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___
Marcus’ Books:
Nine Lies about Work: mbuck.co/2SRhQbP
StandOut 2.0: mbuck.co/33f9qgf
StandOut: mbuck.co/2VnmdKT
First, Break All the Rules: mbuck.co/31V2SmL
Now, Discover Your Strengths: mbuck.co/33fmBxM
The One Thing You Need to Know: mbuck.co/2Ow8JuH
Go Put Your Strengths to Work: mbuck.co/33fmVN0
The Truth About You: mbuck.co/2pTS0Y6
Find Your Strongest Life: mbuck.co/30VVm9R

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17 ноя 2019

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Комментарии : 26   
@Magdapeeta
@Magdapeeta 11 месяцев назад
I came across this speech by accident - Your family have always been very special. My heart goes out to you and the children. Peace. Lindzi
@beverlygriffeth-bryant6252
@beverlygriffeth-bryant6252 Год назад
Thank you for your transparency and your insight as a result.
@joannelabs3162
@joannelabs3162 3 года назад
I used to love Marcus Buckingham. Now I adore him. So brave. And his kids, even having had this bad experience, have him and will thrive.
@rmreg758
@rmreg758 4 года назад
This is absolutely what any parent needs to hear. I wish I would have heard this when my own children were younger. But the good news is that I can pass this along to my grandchildren. Thank you for sharing this Marcus.
@denisecrespo1462
@denisecrespo1462 2 года назад
So real!! A touching and revealing speech. Parenting isn’t easy. He articulates his very real difficulties beautifully.
@ChangeYOUniversity
@ChangeYOUniversity 2 года назад
Awesome speech. Love the vulnerability
@jennifermorris6848
@jennifermorris6848 2 года назад
This just fell into my feed 2yrs later. Interesting so many views and so few comments or likes. A little manic therapy, a little unorganized but what it was for certain was genuine.
@preetjnampeli
@preetjnampeli 4 года назад
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability Marcus. Brought tears to my eyes. Have been diligently following your work and I know this is by far the most vulnerable you have been on a public forum. I can so resonate with spacemaking. It's so crucial and yet so undervalued. I called up to thank my mum for always giving me that space. Thank you once again😊
@SquigglyCareers
@SquigglyCareers 4 года назад
Thank you so much for sharing this Marcus. Inspiring to see such bravery and vulnerability. Sorry you and your family have experienced this situation.
@sharingmatters
@sharingmatters Год назад
Truly spectacular. A wonderful speach. ❤❤❤ Thank you, Marcus.
@christinereber1861
@christinereber1861 4 года назад
Thank you for your authenticity Marcus. I saw your speech at LivetoLead and was blown away. I've shared this story with many people since then. Thank you for your message!
@successandlifestyle
@successandlifestyle 2 года назад
I don't think any of the parents who did this thought "my kids too dumb". They thought that they were giving their child more opportunity, a better future. They love their child. It is just like parenta "helping" do their kids school project... Abd they end up doing it all.
@tamipugsley770
@tamipugsley770 3 года назад
Thank you for sharing. I deeply believe in this principle, but it can be hard because you so badly want to see them succeed. It is something I find myself re-focusing on - setting guardrails, teaching principles, allowing the opportunity to fall sometimes so she can learn and grow. I like the way you described it - love is space-making. So inspired by so much of your teaching. Praying for peace as your family finds the way through this valley.
@sylver30
@sylver30 4 года назад
Thank you for being open to the moment and your courage and bravery in sharing this. I have 2 children and greatly appreciated your message to truly see them for their individual uniqueness, giving space to let them discover the gifts within themselves by overcoming their own challenges outside of any outcome i may be able to control, and being ok with that unknown. Also wanted to say that it was wonderful to meet you in person and experience the energy and passion you bring to sharing your work. Thank you for taking an extra moment after speaking at the GLS event in Chicago to come by again and snap a pic and a hug with me (I had bit of camera troubles when we first met right before you had to be on stage). I applied your approach to encourage my children last weekend when report cards came through and was very aware of and acted totally counter to my gut reaction to immediately focus on the areas they graded lowest in. Instead, I sat with them and asked them 1-1 which of their highest marks they were most proud of and why. It was an incredible experience to see them feel and say the words, "I'm proud of...". I hope to stay aware of encouraging their spikiness in my day-to-day parenting and continue this with every report card and teacher conferences next week. I'll be praying for you and your family and looking forward to seeing you again at GLS in August 2020. Thank you.
@Fraser3005
@Fraser3005 4 года назад
This was insightful and I'm grateful for having heard it - thank you for sharing Marcus, that must have taken courage.
@letthecreativityout7521
@letthecreativityout7521 4 года назад
Hi Marcus - Have followed your videos, website, and used StandOut & StrengthFinder in my work life. Am always recommending your materials to friends and coworkers. Have been a fan of yours for about two years. Now am an even bigger fan of your leadership after watching this. I don't have kids, but I know truth when I hear it and your speech was spot-on. Thank you for daring to step off-script and share this!! I remember hearing about the admissions scandal headline and discovering your ex was part of the list of names. My first thought was "I wonder what Marcus thinks about this or how he found out." I'm so glad you answered this question today. I'm glad you gave yourself *space* to process this before speaking to it before you were ready. Today seemed like you were ready. Well done. Also- That is amazing to hear your pivotal story about the stammer going away at the chapel reading. I'm glad that was part of your speech here. I knew you had a stammer as a child but I had never heard the actual details of the story of how it all changed! To God be the glory, wow. Did you know that Moses had a stammer?? God loves to take the unlikely and turn them into the likely. I'm sure your mom has probably mentioned that encouragement to you already before, but it's so true! Your mom and dad are both right - the Holy Spirit came over you in that miracle moment and the Holy Spirit has the power to transform our minds (synapses) as it says in the book of Romans! Praying that you and your family find peace by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord can "turn mourning into dancing" (Psalm 30) and "make streams in the desert" (Isaiah 43:19). He will take care of this.
@kvinayaks
@kvinayaks 4 года назад
Thank you, Marcus
@letthecreativityout7521
@letthecreativityout7521 4 года назад
One more thing, Marcus - If you're seeking resources of Truth, I highly recommend you check out some of Ravi Zacharias' speeches and Q&A debate videos. He's a Christian thinker and philosopher - brilliant communicator. I can sense that you are a deep thinker as well and I thought you might resonate with Ravi's way of communicating God's Word. Peace!
@rhondareichert7870
@rhondareichert7870 4 года назад
@jflash3451
@jflash3451 4 года назад
nutty? cant tell if he is trying to explain his way out of fraud or what?
@kevshillary
@kevshillary 4 года назад
I think he was genuinely trying to find something good in a horrible situation.
@bekalynn1980
@bekalynn1980 2 года назад
It wasn’t his fraud it was his ex wife he wasn’t involved
@garymoeller892
@garymoeller892 4 года назад
Way to distance yourself from your ex wife, Jane.... “Jack’s mom”, “Lilia’s mom”.... you won’t even say her name....CLEARLY by design. Geez. :-( C,mon Marcus, be honest with yourself and the rest of the world and admit what YOUR part was....indirectly or directly. I mean, you were married to Jane Buckingham for how many years? The honorable thing to do would be to own YOUR part in the “scandal”...whatever that means to you. I’m not saying you did anything illegal but I am saying you played a part in it, indirectly at minimum, given that you are an “influencer, and were married to Jane Buckingham, also an “influencer”, for a loooong time. C’mon, Marcus....step up.
@kevshillary
@kevshillary 4 года назад
EZ Micro Solutions 1 second ago I disagree with you - he sounds genuiene to me and I really don't think he had any part of this. People can hide things from their spouses for years even when they are still married. Not fair to hold him accountable for something his ex wife did
@bekalynn1980
@bekalynn1980 2 года назад
If it happened while they were divorced and were not living together why is he responsible
@garymoeller892
@garymoeller892 2 года назад
@@kevshillary That’s fine….you can disagree. But you don’t know him.
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