My father who is 92 and lived his life like a stoic told me once about getting offended by someone's criticism or opinion. Ask yourself "is this a person I would seek advice from? If not don't worry...if it is talk to them. Else ignore the opinions and criticism of others. In order for you to be offended you have to value their opinion"...that lives with me today and passed on to my kids
but sometimes people that aren't exemplary can give good advice, even if it comes from their insecurity. you gotta filter what's true and what's not I think.
@@Stikmanas I agree, I dont like the idea of devalueing someone else so that I won't feel hurt. I think that if you're comfortable enough with yourself you won't need to use these comparative tactics to put yourself above another
Can’t agree with you there about valuing their opinions cos you’re offended. The offence is us being highly sensitive n hits something inside of us. You don’t even have to care about the person who delivered their opinion. I agree with all the rest you’ve Sid. Thank you
1:18 1.focus on what you can control 1:50 2.stay on your path 3:40 3.put every impression to test 4:27 4.don't talk about it 5:32 5.respect yourself 6:51 6.you have limited bandwidth 8:58 7.look at who they are 10:14 8.practice not feeling shame 12:38 9.be your best self 13:36 10.saty on the path 14:27 11.focus on who you are
1. Focus on what you control 2. Stay on your path (euthymia) 3. Put them to the test (impressions) 4. Don't talk about it (your work - just do your work) 5. Respect yourself 6. You have limited bandwidth (losing energy focusing on other people's opinion) 7. Look at who they are 8. Practice not feeling shame 9. Be your best self 10. Stay on the path 11. Focus on who you are As always, thanks a lot! (:
I was a stoic before I even knew what a stoic wad. I’m a woman. One day during an appointment with my male doctor, he asked me wad I always this stoic. After that appointment, I looked up the term and have been happily myself ever since. Thanks, doc. I appreciate the fact that I can love deeply, yet not allow any person that I love to take me down with them. I have/will cut them off with a quickness. I’ve never cared what people think about me-if I didn’t value them as a person. And, to top if off, my zodiac is scorpio and I’m an introvert. I truly love me as I am. However, I have to be honest, it an be a lonely existence if you allow it to be. I’m so at peace with myself, but humans need other humans, so I’m working on this.🥰
Honestly sometimes its not even about caring about what other people think, do, or say. Sometimes it's the way I think about myself and reflect on things I've said or done that's the problem. Caring too much about what I personally think, do, or say.
While writing in my Daily Stoic journal I felt compelled to check your latest video and express my deepest gratitude for everything you do. And I don't care that you don't care about my gratitude. 😄 This is a fun part about being a Stoic. Thank you, thank you Ryan for all your work! Please live for 100+ years and inspire many more generations to come.
Stoicism is the piece that was missing from my life. I am very extraverted by nature and always reached out to others for validation and had a wide social circle, but also very sensitive and was hurt many times. Stoicism is helping me so much -- with depression and anxiety, with writers' block, and with peace of mind. Thank you Ryan for your books and videos. I looked up your books at my local library and was so happy to see there are so many holds there is a wait list for each title. The world needs Stoic virtue and perspective right now.
Truly timeless and profound Ryan. Thank you for all you do. I will be sending this to my teenage son and telling him to watch it every 5 years. I'm sure he will understand more each time :)
As an artist, i often paint outside and some days i do care a lot what ppl are thinking but every time i push through that initial barrier I'm always glad i did!
Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there 😂
inspiring. love this! I felt similarly when I first started doing yoga outside. I didnt have a yard and lived urban so all that’s available nearby is parks. I want to practice in nature so I find the most private place I can (that’s still safe) and focus on what I’m doing.
I moved to the USA from the UK. This country has A LOT of issues on this topic. It almost feels like it causes this wierd toxic environment wherever you go. You just feel it in the air. I love living here and feel privileged but it was definitely an adjustment mentally
The theory of not worrying about what others think is great and totally makes sense. Applying it in daily life is extremely challenging which is why we still talk about it so much. Negative judgements, insults, hate and even abuse have almost been normalised, especially online, but it’s about reframing the judgements - “their comments are not about me but an expression of😢 their frustrations, pain, rejections” and more. I often get nasty comments about my physical appearance but I now know that these types of comments are about the other person’s insecurities and rejections. Next time you see or hear someone judge someone else, remember it’s their way of coping with their insecurities and rejections.
1:18 1. Focus on what you control 1:50 2. Stay on your path 3:40 3. Put every impression to test 4:25 4. Don’t talk about it 5:30 5. Respect yourself 6:51 6. You have limited bandwidth 8:58 7. Look at who they are 10:13 8. Practice not feeling shame 12:37 9. Be your best self 13:35 10. Stay on the path 14:28 11. Focus on who you are
Jane was my hope during the ‘bear summer’s last year. I did so many mistakes but also learned from it, and of course she is also my number source when it comes to crypto and TA.
Jane was my hope during the ‘bear summer’s last year. I did so many mistakes but also learned from it, and of course she is also my number source when it comes to crypto and TA.
I know Mrs. Jane too and I have been trading with her, she is such an amazing woman and her skills keep me happy all week knowing I earn $10k extra income trading with her
Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious and then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there
If you struggle against your own judgement: Do not define yourself by what is beyond your control. Realise that you are under no obligation to embody or attach yourself to self-diminishing thought. Disentangle from such thoughts by recognising that, while they are ephemeral, what constitutes you - your character, your behaviour, and that which is in your control - is concrete. Let the ephemeral stay ephemeral. Yet you may, while knowing all this, lack psychological inventory. To keep your perspective you must internalise it. Mindfulness practices - whether journalling, meditation, prayer, therapy, or simply studying psychology or human behavioural biology - are paramount. No one but you alone can map the landscape of your soul. You are the seat of your North Star. Be your own shepherd and you will find your way. Finally, always remember: everything that happens is from now on.
uff...this video is so good. Helps so much with anxiety problems...yup respect from terrible people is not needed...none is in need of any of that at all
instead of judging yourself, ask yourself what can you do to improve this situation, this is the only thing you can control! Very nice video, very inspiring
This video arrived in my Email this morning and was exactly what my soul needed. Thank you again for all the time you spend teaching, reading, learning and sharing.
I honor your videos in stopping them halfway through. You give me an impulse to work on my things Ryan. And so I do! thank you so much for guiding me on my path. Meditations is important to me!
The rather obvious flaw here is that society is based on the principle that what other people think of us- their criticism, praise, or judgement- plays an essential role on assigning us our place in society. It also functions as a control mechanism for people who are abusive or dangerous to society when they break social rules and norms. When others give me good grades, I can get into higher education and raise my position. When others promote me at work, I get a better and more powerful position, and also material security for myself and my family. And when others condemn me (rightly or wrongly), I face negative consequences, from social disapproval, to loss of position, to prison. So I find it hard to pretend that people should not care what others think of them. There are some very good reasons we do care about it. I am merely expressing a counter argument here- I like the stoic philosophy, I just don't see how it is always implementable.
Alot of people say Ryan isn't a real Stoic, and it's like 'pop' Stoicism. However I feel he is living as a proper Stoic. He has the core Stoic principles and he has structured his logic to present Stoicism to the modern person. People don't care about the weird or esoteric bits on the edges of some Stoics, they care about a tool that works in their life.
And on top of that, he's not pretending to be flawless. He once said "I write about stoicism, my wife lives it". He has great self awareness. He STRIVES to be stoic and sometimes succeeds, sometimes doesn't. It's life
This philosophy is bigger than just simple daily tasks, but it is the moral foundation of how we have lived and will live in the future. A lot of things that we believe today come from negative or fearful mentalities that we adopted and overtime became things that we see as standards. Only until we completely learn from what’s within us (meaning we can learn from outside, but evaluate from within) will we be the truth. This is the Game. 💯
Thank you Mr. Holiday for posting this content. Your podcast helped me so much through challenging career changes, interpersonal relationship highs and lows, and my own growth on the journey of living fully and being the best version of myself. I just finished your book the Daily Stoic and look forward to reading copies of Trust me I am lying and Conspiracy; if anyone out there has other recommendations please do reply!
Marcus Aurelius: "Objective judgment, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance-now at this very moment-of all external events. That’s all you need."
Love the concept of euthemia- I think that it ties back into the core Greek Philosopher "school of thought" of the Peripatetics. Many of our roots of organized thought/rhetoric/poetics comes from this ancient western philosophy- Kairos, logos, mythos, pathos, ethos- these are what we have to have guide us as a true north star.
I deeply appreciate The Daily Stoic's explanations and teachings as they truly help explain the difficult-to-read ancient texts. This video, in particular, speaks to me in exactly the way I need to hear.
My struggle is how to apply this to actual important people I love: my wife, my family, my mentor. Because I treat them with respect, but maybe this concept reflects my ego as well.
This concept is entirely ego, entirely. Human connection is the heart of life, how can distancing yourself from that make your life better, it’s just silly, many people in denial like this guy
@@jimmyhart3191 thank you for the reply jimmy. To be honest i was in a bad place when i made that comment. It was truly my ego talking and seeking to isolate instead of seeing myself reflected through my loved ones. But i also have to clarify that sometimes i also have to think of how to take care of myself. To dettach and see the situation as a whole in order to truly see.
@@nigelcristobal1185 yeah 100% definitely necessary to take a step back sometimes. I hope you don’t think I was referring to you though you seem introspective and aware, I was meaning the concept the guy in the video was trying to get across and how he’s reduced his friendships and closeness with loved ones to “achieve” something
Stoicism works unless you need things from other people; I purposefully weed out confident people from giving them work in sales; I help the less confident; Heavy is the hand that holds the pen that writes the checks
Ryan your work is the best. This turned my mindset, it was something necessarily to hear, and I'm totally sure that will happen with all the people that watch this video. Keep doing this.
I can appreciate this approach, but I am always caught by the question “what do I want?” In essence, how do you start? I respect myself. When I hook on something, I follow it through with discipline, etc. but what I have never found is that THING, that passion that can hold the attention and focus I can bring to the table. I have a hard time advising my sons because of this. I have been relatively successful in all of my ventures in life. At 50, I have never been fired, never not performed well, never not reached a goal I truly set… and yet I have not succeeded in finding a driving focus. This leaves me believing I can attain great things if I only find that thing to achieve. Otherwise, there is no meaning behind the success even for myself. So I ask for input… how does one begin?
Bro this concept saved my mind in hard times, but what i learnd was universal one And that was "moderate with everithyng for real happines". Including stoicism
It’s the difference between the signal and noise. Focusing about what people think about is you reacting to noise. Focusing about what you can control is reacting to signal. Choice your reaction wisely
Respect yourself is a game changer. I realize you can only respect yourself if you do things that you would respect in someone else. You can’t be a lazy bum and magically respect yourself.
Nah this is how you end up isolated, unfulfilled, and miserable. This is the mindset that results in massive inequality, and horrible crimes, separating yourself from others is not an answer for life.
You can still help and love others along the way but people can destroy others via words and actions so it is about being self confidence and fixed on goals. It is also to avoid marketing and go for what you like
@@sarahkennedy1481 Being self confident and understanding yourself more are all good and fine but that doesn’t address the trap of being caught in nothing but ego, going beyond ego is the first step to actually being free. You might like some lectures by Ram Dass, I recommend searching Ram Dass Relationships, watch the one where he is sitting in the van
One pointer word: Inspiration Pay attention and focus on what inspires you to create and.flow from the inside out. Everything else is negative - filter it out By default you will likely then stop caring about what others are thinking and doing. And you may then realize most of what society offers is garbage can of superficial negative distractions that make you physically and mentally sick.
I used to lack confidence and care now I live alone I realise I pay my bills they do not and most people when push comes to shove, few will be with you in hard times. Many jealous or will use or stab you in the back. Keep close bosom pals and be kind to others but do not care what most think of you.
