The Surprising Benefits of Temper Tantrums

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How to Handle Temper Tantrums & Why They Matter
In this conscious parenting teachable moment, learn the surprising benefits of tantrums and why letting your child come unglued is one of the best decisions you could ever make.
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Welcome! I'm Lori, and I founded Teach Through Love because I'm passionate about helping adults resolve daily conflicts and nurture children's development by using conscious communication.
Parents, teachers, and caregivers are the most influential people in a child's life. My Conscious Parenting Courses and Communication Cards have helped thousands of parents and professionals break free of reactive patterns and unconscious beliefs about "discipline" that keep them stuck in negative cycles with kids.
I want to help adults increase cooperation and connection by communicating in ways that help kids feel heard and capable of change. We can help them reach their full potential and learn to solve conflicts and collaborate with others when we shift how we respond to their needs and feelings.
Lori Petro I TEACH through Love
Author / Educator / Child Advocate
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Опубликовано:

15 дек 2014

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Комментарии : 23

@phaniyiangouapatsidis8928 9 лет назад

WOW, the best advice EVER. You are a highly evolved being, helping bring higher consciousness into the world. Thank you.

@amnaq3053 9 лет назад

I just found you. I love your videos!! I'm sharing with my sister who has a 3 year old. My son's (almost 3) tantrum lasts less than 10 minutes if we just sit with him, rub his back and say it's okay. It lasts over 20 minutes if we get upset, tell him to stop. We learned the hard way to allow him to have a "peaceful" meltdown! I notice he's happier when we let him calm down at his own space. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!

@david_lifeandgames 7 лет назад

Thanks much. Your videos are very helpful. I'm having issues with my 4 yr old son too, and i'm learning more about right parenting just by listening to your videos. Currently it's been devastating for me as these few days he had been directly rejecting me and asking me to stay away. Very hurtful to go through it.

@david_lifeandgames 7 лет назад

mostly my fault as I spoke with him using wrong methods, too much of spanking (just softly), and losing my temper with him before (raising my voice)... only wished I knew all these earlier, as they only hurt my relationship with him.

@sakinakharrubi6303 3 года назад

Wow, thank you so much. I literally today almost had a breakdown because of my son having screaming tantrums all day... and I was like “how can I think of this being good???” And RU-vid brought you on my feed!!! Thank you!!

@teachthroughlove 3 года назад

Thank you for watching, Sakina! I'm so glad it was helpful.

@kristinabaker4433 6 лет назад

Bingo, this explains why or how I developed an emotional disorder

@finflwr 9 лет назад

Thanks for the good work : ) appreciated.

@happypoint3036 6 лет назад

Nice video... Just found you....and watching all your videos

@Sonia1504 7 лет назад

Hi Lori. I love your videos and they have really opened my mind to how I patent. My 8yr old son is very prone to massive meltdowns and wrecks his room, hits me and cannot control the rage. I blame how I was when he was little as I was suffering with depression and was very intolerant, impatient and critical. I want to change this bit worry that it's too late. He is very sensitive and I feel that we aren't connected the way he and his Dad are. Any advise? x

@lora4619 9 лет назад

My 5 year can have strong tantrums.... It doesn't happen as often anymore, but when they happen I always worry that he will hurt himself or someone else. Most of the time I can recognize when his anxiety goes up and we can work through it, but sometimes, if the tantrum starts, the only way to calm him down is to hug him and help him breath and count. Although I can notice when his anxiety goes up, its hard to see what triggers it. When he's like that, he's not intentionally trying to break stuff or hurt anyone, he's reacting to the strong emotion.. but at the same time, I feel like at times I do have to intervene so he doesn't get hurt. In the past, his tantrums would last for over an hour if there was no intervention. I never tell him what he is feeling is wrong or to just stop, but I do feel like I have to help him calm down, usually after he calms down we can talk about what happened a little more. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong =/

@natashalove3744 9 лет назад

As I read Amnas comment up there, sounds like sitting with them especially maybe rubbing their back (starting very gently of course) would definitely help, telling them its ok, let it out, will help them out tremendously as well.

@natashalove3744 9 лет назад

*****

@An123Observer 3 года назад

I am not sure about this... Maybe it's because I wasn't raised this way. I think it is great to value and coach your kid through any emotion. However, I don't believe that letting them behave horribly is ok. For example, I can accept the anger, but not physically hitting someone or breaking things. I think letting kids practice horrible behaviour does them a disservice. I think it is probably a spectrum obviously, but I think parents need to set boundaries of unacceptable behaviour. That being said, I think that when disciplining the child it is important to distinguish between not accepting the behaviour, and still accepting them, their feelings and needs. Additionally, I don't believe in punishing kids but rather using discipline as a method to alter behaviour. When possible I prefer to use positive incentives and natural consequences, but sometimes a kid needs to know there is a boundary. (speaking as a teacher of young kids, and an older brother to 5 siblings, but not as a parent) anyway, just my thought on the subject. I wish you all the best 🙏🏼❤️

@KillerKoala87c 11 месяцев назад

Any suggestions for if your child is hitting you a lot with tantrums?

@JennyG.COW5 7 лет назад

If you and the child are at a public place, like the store, could you suggest that they have their tantrum when you get home? Could you allow wait time for the tantrum to happen in a situation like this?

@JennyG.COW5 7 лет назад

Maybe say to the child, "I know that you're upset and want to express your feelings through the tantrums you throw, but right now I need you to be calm until then? (Or maybe ask an employee/ person in charge of public place if there's a private or separated place to go to were they can unwind?)

@anabeldavis39 9 лет назад

i really need a question answered ... very desperate :( Im a mommy of two.... oldest 2 almost 3 and my youngest is 7 months... My oldest, she HATES sharing anything with her brother. I ask he all the time if she could please share with her brother and she wont and then with a very bratty attitude says "NO MINE!" i have done time outs (because she yells at me and even sometimes hits her brother) i just dont know what to do . it makes me very sad that she doesnt like her brother what did I do wrong ? PLEASE I NEED ADVICE !

@natashalove3744 9 лет назад

what if you try to talk to her on her level and ask her a bunch of questions like: why don't you like your brother. what can i do to make it better so you can feel better. and just try to use your intuition for whatever come up. the truth is if one stays patient and listens hard enough, they Will hear the answer. Calm patience is very important.

@natashalove3744 9 лет назад

Anabel Davis

@tiffanifeuerstein 7 лет назад

Anabel Davis I just finished the book siblings without rivalry. some great take aways

@Lori_P89 9 лет назад

I'm not a parent but I am wondering about something. Is it okay to let a child just have a full on tantrum in public? I can understand having one at home where it's safe, but I imagine in a public space other people would be judgemental and would want you to "control your kid" or something. Maybe you gotta remove your kid from the public space and go somewhere more quiet? I'm guessing having a tantrum at home would help prevent ones from happening in public in the first place though :)

@Lori_P89 9 лет назад

***** Ah okay, that makes sense. Thanks for the reply!