The Tales of Rizzless Ryan (The Virgin Islands Cruise) 

called gaylord palms, they said you booked a room there

RHETORIC (Trivial) - FAILURE: This must be the guy who takes my Starbucks order.

getting pulled over in public for making a joke like "hey you must be the guy that keep taking my starbucks orders" is like an actual nightmare scenario

The massage story is WILD. They're really out here 1984ing your ass to sell some oils.

At this point he can write off all these cruises as a work related expense, his occupation being the CEO of yapping

Little did he know but he booked the Curb Your Enthusiasm experience all week.

Joke boat curse follows him IRL 💀

"You know what I'm saying?" "No" +2 had me dying

The starbucks orders line is GOLDEN. Major -2 to Bryan for not laughing

catch me chilling at Gaylord Palms with the real ones

"joke boat irl" lmao

doing the full "I'm not flaming I'm just saying" rant in an elevator full of people because you can't push the floor button

NL always needs his dopamine hits after being on vacation for so long

38:54 "What do they [chat] say to us?" I wonder to which extent she comprehends that "chat" is a collection of thousands of people watching through the camera.

"Orlando people are actually pretty nice." "Anyways, I thought my Uber would kill me and I was verbally abused"

As a server I only heard the “ mine was horrible” joke about 6000 times 😂

Bryan was a plant hired by the cruise to sell more massages.

Damn one week in the carribean and grandpa is going off!!

this guy is just george costanza if he decided to stream

Doesn’t like quips in media, but will quip in real life. Curious.

I agree with Ryan's take that rural people have less patience in large groups, ironically they're the people who are usually slowing it down for everyone else. Because they're breaking the social system to get where they wanna be like 2 minutes faster.

Dude got audited by the masseuse I can't

19:20 "You should've held the door open button and looked him in the eyes" Holy, goated comment

Luna moment: "What did they say to us?" Holyyyy, she knows what chat is?

The -2 Cruise

Gaylord Palms being mention is crazy such a beautiful hotel, my sister glued coins to their walls one time.

You'd think Ryan would be used to get no laughs while he's on a ship, from his jackbox sessions

11:45 INSANE ANECDOTES of a streamer trying to interact in the real world and getting rejected by society

NL isn't escaping the cruise allegations.

'You know what im sayin?' 'Nope' Holy cow shes too powerful

This is funny ie the rural vs city people in busy environments. My parents came from the suburbs to celebrate my bday last weekend with me in the big city and we went to a mall in the uptown area of Atlanta. The place is basically always jam packed with people but I got there early and took my time finding parking. When I finally met up with my parents their eyes were glazed over like they went through a bombing run.

thank you i was starving

For some reason NL saying "two melatonin gummies" has been stuck in my head for the past week

Charisma as the dump stat being 22 minutes of the video is insane

NL coming back from a vacation is like Christmas for stories. Always some of the funniest streams.

Joining the disney cruise is a huge debuff for his comedy big norm core crowd they probably only laugh about knock knock jokes if at all they simply cannot take Nl opening the Eight Gates of Filters and letting 0.2second processing delay directors cut HDR Braindrain drizzle you with delight made on the XMP310 QD oled reference monitor they're still on the 1080p flatscreen sdr lcd from 2010

I’ve had so many days like that, making light corny conversation to get through interactions, and getting nothing but the 5G stare back. I’m my dad now. More than once I went to another town and didn’t know why I felt weird until I realized it was because everyone was being nice to me. I think, maybe, if we all turn up “shooting the shit” by 2 degrees, *big* things could happen….. P.S. all the subtle -2 moments included in this edit were artful

This WILL effect Lebeon’s legacy

“Never joke with the trades people” - Johnny Carson

Return of the king

We love our Librarian, don’t we folks?

Based Luna at the end

"What are you doing with that flashlight?" "BLIND THE DEMON"

This was the tipping point. This single cruise sent him over the edge to full dad, not ironic dad.

The best thing is, he didn't have to quip at all, but he decided to anyways

thought i was about to see baldurs gate 3 AND northern lion - i understand i was foolish

Louisville being just about the same size as Vancouver makes that bit that much more funny

Great theme for the video.

There is nothing funnier than being caught out in a white lie (not the bad kind of white lie) immediately. Just someone hit X doubt without a second's thought. There are immediately so many layers and a confrontation because they're also kind of a dick for not giving you the out so it's a guilt trip, but you also did just insult them by lying to their face so now the situation is 100% different than the precipitating event. Also that elevator trick does sometimes work but usually if it's a service elevator or if you have that firefighter key. If you're in an elevator that's stalled at like the first floor you can kind of hijack it by holding the floor button and the closed door button if it was a reserved elevator for someone moving into an apartment for instance.

That ending song holy..

very thematic outro song, thanks librarian

Life is worth living once again

Fun fact, legally flight attendants are NOT allowed to tell you to remain seated. They are only allowed to refer to the seatbelt sign being on. This is purely for insurance purposes if you end up getting hurt. You can always take the risk at your own discretion if you feel like the situation warrants it in regards to how badly you have to go.

🫵 rizzless 🫵

that masseuse watched too much wolf of wall street

35:01 "shes funmaxxing" omg

Now that's relatable.

Hes so back

I went to gaylord palms for a veterinarian conference in 2009 or 2010. Well someone in my family was attending the conference i was 12. That place is pretty lit. Super big. Good restaurants. Had a crazy arcade. They had a small zoo type deal in the middle of it. A small waterpark for kids. There was also a wooden ship that was a restaurant. You could even buy disney tickets cheaper there than at the park. I still have a Gaylord Palms coozie and shirt. Besides the funny name that place is great.

i will say, i dont think i can not not act like a pirate when in a pirate costume

NL would be a recurring character in Seinfield

NL pees before getting on a plane so he doesn’t need to go during the flight “like an adult” but can’t get through a two hour movie without “at least two” pee breaks despite drinking soda in both scenarios Make it make sense

I've flown every week of the last 5 years and I couldn't tell you what any of the plane models were. Who the hell pays attention to that

it's crazy to think if I go on a disney cruise there's roughly a 2% chance I'll see the egg himself

The airlines dont want to tell you things about weather because then they might have to give you a refund

Yooooo the pixiedusting bit was a +2 farm

"cramped shitty old plane to orlando" mans flying air canada rouge - mistake number one

Fahrenheit 451 audiobook

his story about the AI customer support is actually the holiest of tangents I think I just witnessed history

All i get from this is that if i throw a joke and it doesnt land and i ask "do you get it?", i might get some +2's.

Calgary mentioned let's go

NorthernLion killing a woman after being thrown onto her by surprisingly bad turbulence when trying to piss: look she should have chosen to sit somewhere else

i know orlando is massive but something about northernlion being in the city i was born in feels crazy

the chat saying lisan al gaib is killing me

Jerry seinfeld wishes he was NL

bahamas is northern caribbean, and us & british virgin islands are eastern caribbean, although there are tons of other islands that form a chain connecting down to south america which tend to call themselves the caribbean despite usually not being lumped in with that classification.

Kentucky Mentioned W

Did they pull him into the massage room with a big crooked cane?

Is this the bits and banter vid just titled differently?

The Nascar hat😂😂😂😂😂😂

That massage parlor shit would have me feeling like I'm in a panopticon not a cruise ship, what tf would a masseuse need access to my room order history and schedule for?

This guy is so funny Streets are saying Curb your enthusiasm is based on NL

He's doing the dad jokes and nobody's perceiving him as a father.

i was literally in the orlando airport two days ago this is so scary i could have seen him in the wild

high pressure sales tactics dont work on me because I do sales and I just respect people who dont cave and other sales people probably do as well.

At least now he can farm +2s to get his rizz back

What the fuck man this video resurfaced trauma for me! 😂 heres the story haha: when I was in fifth grade we went on a field trip, in part, to the Kennedy space center. I was one of the only kids over the height limit for the play area. But all of my friends could. so I couldn't go on the big slide but everybody kept going on it over and over again and telling me how good it was 😂😂

How did no one get his jokes I'd be laughing so hard if he said any of those to me irl

was the boat actually his hell, with ironic punishment?

WE'RE SO BACK!

Oh my god, the CRUISE was at fault here, Ryan is absolutely in the clear!!! You’re telling me this many people can’t take the hint or get the joke?! Holy hell dude, I’ve never laughed harder, it’s actually like an episode of Seinfeld istg.

Cruising then going to Gaylord Palms, is it?

北 wallpaper huh

bro failed every speech check 💀

Hung up on the AI assitant? Based

I was not expecting to hear about the gaylord palms 😂😂😂 NL in FL gave me a core memory unlock

would rather see tea party than hear him talk

gaming first

I think NL’s riz problem in public is that he doesn’t have a primed audience. We know he’s about to make a bunch of jokes because that’s what we’re here for, but a stranger wouldn’t.

+4 11:30 14:45