I watched this documentary when it was originally broadcast in 2007 and it changed my life. I went back to school and became a funeral director because the words of Thomas Lynch echoed everything I believe about humanity, life and death. Fifteen years later, I own a small firm and I work as a trade embalmer preparing the deceased so that their loved ones can see them one last time and say goodbye. I take my responsibility seriously and frequently participate in professional educational programs to develop my skill so that, regardless of the condition of the deceased prior to embalming, I can properly restore them to a recognizable and acceptable condition for the benefit of the bereaved. After fifteen years I can still watch this program and feel passionate about our profession. Thank you Thomas Lynch and family.
I wish that I could. I am in Houston, Texas and we have The National Museum of Funeral that is attached to a mortuary school. I remembered in high school the mortuary school was at our district wide college night. No one would go talk to them. I did because I have always been interested but at an empath it is hard.
@@3hearts1lifeyo-yo42 this comment is seamlessly suited to both the comments above but meant for only one. “I wish I COULD bury you next Tuesday…… I’m booked; how bout Monday?
@@DIVISIONINCISION the same could be said for proctologist's, sanitation workers or septic service people. But the greatest and most profound act you can perform for someone is it do for them what they cannot do themselves. The dead cannot bathe and dress themselves nor walk or drive themselves to the cemetery. They rely on the living to accomplish it on their behalf. This is a calling, it's not a job. And believe me, you do not want someone who views it as a "job" taking care of your loved one when the need arises. You want someone who is dedicated and caring.
I lost my 8 year old son to brain cancer in 2015 and what this man said in the documentary regarding the death of a child is true. I chose a small, family owned funeral home. The funeral director was the owner, he was so kind and told me that he would care for my son as if he were his own. With absolute love and respect. I cried when he handed me the bill and next to each of the services he provided was a zero with a line through it.
I lost my 17 yr old daughter to a car crash. She was my only child. You don't know heartache and pain until you lose a child. You die as well. It changes who you are forever. The three most heart wrenching, barely able to breathe moments of my life were hugging her body at the hospital and saying my goodbyes, choosing a casket, and closing the casket at her funeral. It's been almost 6 years now and I can't begin to explain the journey of grief I've traveled nor how I'm still here. I love you forever, Kylee. ❤️
Tim I am so sorry for your loss. A parent should Never have to bury there child. It just goes against the way things are supposed to be. I lost my kid brother in a drowned accident he was 21. The pain of losing a brother and watching my parents suffer is just in bearable. Next year it will be 40 years ago, but the hurt never goes away! All my family has since passed and I am the last surviving person. Maybe its why I checked this video out? All I can say is trust in a higher power, God, time will fly by and our time will come weather we are ready or not. God willing we will all be united again. It hurts to think of all they missed out on here on earth, but God has his reasons! God Bless my friend🙏
Damn bro, that's the hardest thing to have to endure. My sincerest condolences to you. May your daughter spend eternity in heavenly glory. May the Ruach (Holy Spirit) grant you the peace that you need. Shalom brotha
My heart has been touched by your tragic loss. May the Lord bring you peace. You’ve experienced the worst of losses. Those 3 moments you described took me there with you and words are just not available for moments such as those. That’s when the Holy Spirit has to speak for us. I stand with you in the utmost respect and compassion for what you endured.❤️🙏💪🥲
My wife passed in my arms at home. I remember being so afraid to hold her hand while waiting for the mortuary to come get her. I thought if I felt any movement I would never get past that even though the paramedics had pronounced her dead. I remember cleaning up her pee which had pooled up under her after they left. It was oddly comforting and I spoke out loud making a joke about the mess she left. It’s been 7 years and I still think of her all the time. I have her dolphin urn at home and even though I know that is just the vessel her soul was once in it I talk to her a lot. I have accepted her passing but will never forget her.
Hospice nurse here. I always invite the family to help me do post mortem care, or the cleaning of the body prior to the funeral home coming. Back in the day, people died at home. They didn't die in hospitals, with their bodies whisked away and family having no contact with their corpse until they saw them made up at the funeral home. I think that takes away a huge part of the grieving process. Those last rites of caring for their body help us to come to terms with the reality of their loss. It's a process, and an important one. I know it feels kinda weird, but cleaning her up was probably really helpful for you in the long run. Blessings to you..a stranger is thinking of you tonight and hoping you're doing okay.
@@DenaInWyoBoth my parents were cared for by hospice nurses, my mom at home and my dad in a hospice home; you are all angels who walk upon this earth. Bless you for what you do not only for the people you are caring for, but for their families as well. We will never forget the nurses who were there for my parents and my siblings and me. Thank you.
When my mom died I went to the funeral home to do the last things I could for her. I dressed her in new clothes bought from a store we used to spend hours at. I knew she would have loved the soft cornflower blue sweater, black pants, silky jewel-tone scarf and matching brooch. I curled her hair in the style she always wore it. I put a picture of her cat in the casket along with a few of her favorite things. That time spent with her was such a blessing for me and I’m so thankful for it.
Oh thank-you so much! I scanned the comments to see if someone knew how that young couple is doing. I pray they are experiencing profound joy with their living children. I am sure they honor the memory of their son who died. What a strong couple!
I lost my 24 year old son in a car crash on 24 Sep 2022. I still can't believe that he is gone. I remember sitting in the funeral home and how numb I felt. It was like I was on autopilot in making decisions about what needed to be done. It was awful. My ex-wife (his mom) was distraught and rightfully so as they were extremely close. He was my only child and now I just feel lost. I still had plans for us and now that will never happen. I love you Matt!
My husband and I lost our full term newborn identical twins in 1988. We were very young. I had never experienced the death of a grandparent…no one really. The funeral director was a family friend. When I was discharged from the hospital after their birth, we drove straight to the funeral home. I never saw them in their casket. They had 2 rocking chairs in a parlor and we each rocked our babies. Talked about who they could have been and just grieved. When you lose a parent you lose a part of your past. When you lose a child, you lose your future. Life is never the same. I’ve never been the same. I remember my momma looking at me and saying my spirit, my soul would never be any older than it was at that moment. She was so right. I was never the same carefree young woman. My husband was never the same young man. We are still married and have one living son. He is our rainbow baby…30 year old man now…but our gift from God.
So Sorry for your loss. As a father myself..my heart aches for your suffering. They are with Jesus, safe and fully loved even more than any parent could love their own children. My prayer for you and your Husband is that he will bring healing to your hearts and give you peace. I pray that you both continue to live for Jesus Christ while you are still in this earth and that you eagerly await your reunion with your twins when you see them both again when your time comes. God Bless!
I lost a 2 month old to sids . You are so right about never being the same. My son passed 40 years ago. Never is life the same. We just do things differently and more loving .
Can we take a moment and show admiration for the kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness Sean Lynch and his brother demonstrate towards a grieving family at 3:20am? And the incredible poetry written by Mr. Lynch? I'm in awe of their devotion and dedication to service.
Another great thing about the whole Lynch family is their voices are all soothing, measured and calming: traits you certainly appreciate in people dealing with such a delicate matter.
Yes, but maybe cause there only being filmed, there are tons that are shady and nasty. Do yr research on places and if need be watch. Just like nursing homes i don't care if they are rated 8 stars abuse happens! Put hidden cameras in a room is suspected.
@@blackmonday738, There are some things that cannot be faked. Caring and genuine compassion are among them. When addressing people who have suffered great loss, it is often necessary to give information a bit at a time, and repeat as needed. I learned this when I spoke with my son's doctor and knew he needed surgery. I had to call the doctor's office and ask that they repeat everything. Because he was in 2nd Grade at the time, it was twice as upsetting. Children need things of a serious nature explained carefully and without the parent acting scared or upset. I reviewed some texts I studied years before in Child Development classes, which helped a lot. Adults can have similar fear reactions depending upon how information is conveyed. It requires time and patience -- and the funeral director must "read" a client to determine how to best communicate effectively and compassionately. There's no way those traits can be faked. Clients must also "read" the person they are interviewing, ideally during a meeting to settle "pre-need" so the rest of the family is not traumatized and exploited when death happens.
The most chillingly truthful part is when the funeral director states that he always charged the parents of deceased children his own costs for a casket etc. in hopes that the Lord would spare his own children a similar fate. You absolutely know he is telling the truth about that. Powerful stuff.
@@TURTLEORIGINAL Whatever sweet cheeks. All you need to understand is that no matter how much y'all pretend, the god deity will remain no more real than the Tooth Fairy 🧚♂️. Yep, time to grow up my little feeble minded friend. You are too old to still be playing make-believe. 😶
@@TURTLEORIGINAL Alpha Omega is commenting on many of the other people in here who dare to reference anything other than what HE deems is the correct way of thinking. Pay no attention to this attention seeking Dingus Muppet.
I have been a Funeral Director for thirty years. There is definitely post traumatic stress associated with this line of work that no one talks about. Especially, when the sudden, traumatic or unexpected deaths of children occur. You never forget your interactions with their parents and siblings. It is impossible for me not to tear up at those funerals. You realize how fragile life is.
I was a grave digger for about 6 months right after high school. The hardest thing I ever did was dig a hole for a little baby that was killed by the babysitter. I thought I was going to dig for a marker until Paul handed me a shovel and told me 36 inches deep and walked away. My wife then was 7 months pregnant with my first child. I cried like a baby digging that hole. When I came back to work in the morning Bill said your back most people don’t come back after that. I told him that was something I expected but didn’t want to do. But it’s part of the job. They let me go for another guy who quit the first time he smelled a decomposed body and they called me asking if I wanted my job back. I probably should’ve by now I would have a nice pension from the county but oh well.
When my Mother passed Dec 2020, I wanted so desperately to be there with her body as she was cremated and they told me “people don’t do that” and to this day I am pained deeply by being disregarded as well as being made feel like it was a strange request. I knew it wasn’t a strange request as I felt she deserved my attention and presence at that moment her body was returned to ashes & dust.
the thing is you can't go to their location that they do the cremations. Where I live, there is only one location that does the cremations for several funeral homes, and then returned.
I worked a side job as a delivery driver for a florist for 2 years and had relationships with many funeral homes and crematories. The people who work in this industry are some of the most kind and gentle people I’ve ever met. It’s often a generational business but I consider it a calling. It’s a huge responsibility to walk with families during grief. One unique thing about my job was going from funeral homes to delivery rooms. Flowers on the way in and on the way out. It was quite an impactful experience.
You see the impermanence of things. Perhaps this makes everything more precious, maybe even sacred. None of us really knows for sure when we're going to leave this life. Those in this business probably have frequent reminders of this fact.
@@davidpeppers551 one very crucial thing to consider is determining where you will go when you leave your body. Having attended many funerals, I’m very aware of how we can, and should, find comfort when the deceased expressed a strong religious faith. This is especially true in my culture here in the south (Atlanta). I guess it has to do with how much importance people placed on the things of God while they were here. Life is a vapor, we will all spend eternity somewhere. There are those who believe that’s simply in the dirt. I believe otherwise and so I pray my loved ones will find comfort in that when I leave this world.
Or .... Some of the creepiest. I knew a funeral director in my home town. He always shook hands with everyone he met..... Children included.. his hands were always so cold..
@@eunicestone838 The staff I met at funeral homes were essentially the same kind of people who work for churches. Here in Georgia, we have a very strong faith community. The funeral directors where I live seem more like pastors who don’t preach but rather guide families through that time of transition.
I grew up at a funeral home. My parents were the best. I really appreciated the scene when they picked the old man up and carried him to the casket. It’s so personal. I had a friend who committed suicide in high school and I remember going to her viewing. When it ended I remember Frank, an elderly man who was a WWII vet who helped out at the funeral home, went in to shut off the lights. I heard him say, “Good night Jenny, I’m turning the lights off now.” Phew. We’ve since buried him and I’ll always remember the tenderness and care they all had towards the dead. I wish more people could see that.
Wow. This made me just. Gasp for air. That man didn't even know Jenny but he was so nice to her even tho she wasn't there. I'm sorry for your loss of Jenny. I lost a cousin, a friend and coworker, and last but not least my little girl to suicide. Suicide is the toughest thing I've ever had to grieve. Anger is what I return to most. Life is not fair. I truly hate it. I am wanting to start working in the funeral home here in the next 6 months. I had a few ideas on what I wanted to do in life but working at a funeral home is what I think I will enjoy the most.
As a funeral director, this was absolutely an extraordinary and beautiful portrait of what we do. It is more than a "business" but a MINISTRY to the needs of people. Funeral service is a profession of dignity and I am so elated that a documentary features funeral service professionals that operate with such compassion and dedication. Well done Lynch & Sons!
How do you feel about the industry becoming just a corporate, profit-driven monster that continues to swallow up the private, smaller town businesses? Many of us know the predation that occurs to the families in the worst times of their lives.
Do funeral directors ever let people intern? I’m 23 yr old woman and have grown more and more fascinated with the process of it all and the art of restoring what is. I haven’t gone to mortuary school but what if i offered to sweep for them or pass out obituaries. Would that be crazy?
@@cleo9297 I knew a woman who had no mortuary experience but was hired in as I think some kind of clerical/client-facing position (helping families with decisions and such), but she did have the opportunity to also help with the care and preparation of the bodies - nothing intensive or requiring any sort of skill that required schooling. She found her work very fulfilling. So yes, those kinds of opportunities are out there. Obviously how much you are allowed to do will vary from company to company.
The writing of Thomas Lynch is profound. Death has never been a subject I’ve shied away from discussing, but I’ve rarely heard words of such beauty and gentleness surrounding it.
When I was a Baby just six months old. We took a family portrait of me my Mom, Dad, and my Sister that was a year older than I. Right before the Mortician put her body in the ground I wasn't happy until I put this picture in her Casket. I also had many more so I made sure that all of my siblings had this picture. I feel that my Mother is still here with me for I have her picture on my dresser and I can look at it every night.
My father knew he was dying… he had very advanced cancer. Maybe months or weeks to live. He purchased a small sailboat and set out one morning onto the big ocean alone. No supplies or plans. He told me once that he would like to have a Viking funeral. His boat was discovered a week later far out to sea. He was gone. Dad was the coolest guy I have ever known. Brave and always did everything his own way. I’m sure he probably didn’t want to be buried or burned up. He wanted to silently go away.
I think the worst part of someone you live with dying is the silence when the dust settles. When people stop coming by and it's just you and the silence. I really feel bad for those two parents, but I hope they found peace in each other, and I see they have a family now, Two children. They earned that happiness.
I know exactly what you're talking about . When you first start grieving everyone understands and then after a little while they kind of don't want to hear it and then it gets to the point that they start pulling away . That's the worst
My Mom was the Web Designer and Webmaster for Thomas and Lynch & Sons Funeral Home for almost fifteen years. My Mom passed away in August of 2021 and we held private services and the same funeral home she developed and maintained a website for. Mr. Lynch and his family and team are the absolute kindest and most professional people and I thank them all very much for giving my Mom business and for a beautiful funeral service for my Mom.
They seem so professional; needed at this moment of time. My great uncle sold their funeral home and unfortunately over the years customer service became so cold and functional. My mother deserved better. Sorry for your loss
I totally agree! My heart just broke for them. Also, what she said abt being ok with having to accept the unknown when its her time but to send her child first...😭
I was with my mom when she passed away, two weeks ago tonight. She had pre-planned her funeral after my dad’s death, her last gift to us. I am in tears watching this, but this has been so helpful. Thank you.
In every way, this is a stunning and moving portrayal of perhaps the second most sacred moment of life. This reminds me of how life should be lived: with love, grace, and compassion for all.
Watched this with my 13 y/o nephew and he was riveted, I told him his Grandfather was in the funeral home business, he said he wanted to talk to him about it...really special time for the two of us.
I disagree with your premise. It's the thing in your life when you have already left, but hopefully able to see... I chose doves for my Mom and butterflies for my Dad. They were set free after the service.
My ❤️ Hear Is Absolutely 💔 Broken For These's Parents That Have Had To Be Separated From There Loving ❤️ Children Or Any ❤️ Loveones !! That Pain That 💔 😢 Of Knowing What Dealth Done Do Causes Us Humans 😪 To Grieve In Our ❤️ Heart's In Our Life's For Nothing Is Ever The Same As Before !! We Can't Undo Dealth It's Never Easy Being Without Them !! When Where Face With Knowing Yes We Can't Make Those Arrments How Ever For Some Lack Of Money Know Insurance !! It's Hard Not Knowing How You Going To Made These Kind Of Arag
Those parents putting their baby in the ground wrecks me. God I hope they are doing okay now, wherever they are, and know how impactful their story has been, how brave they are to have shared it with the world. I saw this years ago when it first aired and it has stuck with me, inspired me, even. I now work in the industry and plan to till retirement.
I am just now seeing this documentary, these stories. And I came here to also post my gratitude for these parents, sharing their journey with us. Yes, I hope time has softened the rough edges a bit, allowing the loving times to be remembered more often. Their little boy looked like a sweet soul with them.
The mother of the sick infant is so beautiful. Her eyes are mesmerizing. She radiates a peace and a strength that I’m certain I can’t understand. I lost my mom and dad (my hero’s) and my beloved dog of 15 years in the past year and half. I’ve spent much time contemplating the death process and the many unanswered questions that arose as I was with all 3 when they passed. I can not imagine what it’s like to lose a child. My heart truly goes out to them.
O Wendy.. I'm so sorry for your lose first of all and for whatever reason I'm compelled ask questions.. if I may..how in God's Holly name do you face the sunlight on your next given day from day to day.. I'm so afraid of loosing my parents and time is ticking.. what would you say if asked.. how should I prepare my son and grandson for their lose and how do I make peace with our differences ... You are now where I know I will be soon... Also . God bless you and keep you.. are you of faith? Wow I have so many questions... I'm sorry
@@jenniferwilson7762 - I have to assume that I have a different (perhaps unusual) relationship with death. The first thing I did was make a very conscious effort over the past several years to make sure I left nothing unsaid to my parents and I tried to make sure they knew what they meant to me and that I absolutely know how blessed I was to have their unconditional love. They adopted me when I was 8wks old and it took me into my adulthood to realize that how amazingly fortunate I was to have the childhood, family , and extended family I had. I was not an easy child/ teenager/ young adult to raise 😔. I am introverted (or select social) and though I think I’m an empath, I do not communicate well, so it was an effort for me to take ever opportunity I got to vocalize my gratitude, love and appreciation to my parents, instead of just thinking it every single day of my life. I needed them to hear it. But I did it and I know , had I not, I would have lived with regret the rest of my life. I made extra trips “home” to see them after my mom got sick (lung issues) she was 75. It’s an 8 hour drive. I prayed for God to allow me to get there in time to say goodbye after I received the call. He answered. She survived two more days, and was coherent for about 30 mins after I arrived. I was with her when she passed. My dad was a 16 year kidney transplant survivor but was in good health, and good docs. After my mom passed (they were married 51 years) I made an extra effort to answer every phone call, do little things, visit more often and dedicated most of my trips there to him. My three daughters, 3 grandkids, brother and extended family live within miles of him and all played a part in his care. He was devastated. After his 2 💉, he started having heart issues and had to have surgery. After his third 💉 he caught Covid, was hospitalized but recovered quick. A few weeks later he was sitting in the car and my brother ran back in the house to grab a water. When he returned my dads heart had stopped. My aunt ran across the street and started CPR (retired nurse). The ambulance took him to the hospital and vented him before they realized he had a DNR. My brother asked me if I wanted them to wait to take the vent out until I got there and I just told him “do what you need to do” I’ll be there in 9 hrs. I did not know what I was walking into but dad was alert when I arrived and survived three more days. I was with him at hospice care when he passed. He was 83. He also had the onset of Parkinson’s. The way I got through it was being a realist , I guess. Dad was 83 and his Kidney had lasted longer than expected. He lived a long good life and I long ago prepared best I could to the fact that no one can live forever , so I decided instead of focusing on the negatives I would FOREVER count my many blessing. My mom suffered and had no quality of life left. She was tired and made it know she was ready to go. I didn’t want to watch her suffer anymore. She lived a long , good life minus the 3 years she was sick. They both hated that they couldn’t hold their rambunctious grandchildren or travel etc. They hated relying on all of us to do for them and take them places or pick up stuff, though none of us minded at all. They were both very outgoing and independent people, always helping everyone else. The hardest part for me when my mom died was honestly watching my dad suffer. It was heart wrenching. The hardest part after my dad died was not having him to care for, always thinking of ways to help him , make his life easier, what I could send him, do the next time I was home, missing the phone calls, and realizing that I had no parents, like I no longer belonged to anyone. Yes I have my children & gbabies, but this was different. I may sound cold or heartless but I was at peace, knowing they lived long, mostly healthy lives, that I had left nothing unsaid, or undone. That myself and my family (more so them because I am in a different state) had provided the absolute best of care possible and that I (we) had been blessed beyond measure. I didn’t want to see them suffer and I’m not sure how they would have faired in this turbulent world we are now living in. I was constantly thinking about the “what if’s” when dad was alive. Like if SHTF can I get his meds, is he safe, what if the power goes out etc etc etc. The one thing I myself disagree with in the video is I chose to not see either parent after they initially passed. I was there to support my family but I chose to remember them as they were. I did not want my last image to be of their deceased body as I knew their soul was no longer their. I did not know if I would regret that after my mom passed and I didnt at all. I knew that was the absolute correct choice for me so I did the same with my dad. I miss them terribly. I have two sets of wind chimes that was given to me with each of their passing. Everyday when I hear them, I just smile and say, I hear ya. Tomorrow we go to the hospital to say goodbye to my husbands father. I will miss his daily visits as well. He’s 84 and been mostly healthy until this event that he will not recover from. My husband view on the death process is right in line with mine. We have so much to be thankful for and though we will miss all of them tremendously we also know they only wanted their kids and families to be taken care of and be happy. They did that for us. My only advice would be , stay supportive as a family, be there for one another, pray for one another and Gods comfort when the time arrives. Do what comforts you through the grieving process, no matter what. I thought my family would be upset with me for not getting all “involved” in the funeral, clothes, casket, etc process but they understood and supported me , as I did them. But even had they not, my gut told me what was right for me. Grieve but also focus on your blessings and know that as much as we are gonna miss them , they are in a much better place with no pain or sorrow ❤️. Do the best you can, and let God do the rest. Thank you for your kind words.
@@WendyRandall ...wow, Wendy, for someone introverted, you can open up well. I read the whole thing, and bottom line, I wish you were my daughter, you seem to demonstrate the care that I long for from my kids, but don't. I'm 68 years old. God bless your heart!
@@singmysong1167 Ohhh if you were mine (assuming you survived my formative years 🤦♀️) I would surely take care of you and love you! It saddens me that some folks don’t appreciate what they have and tend to focus on the negatives. Life is truly too short for that!!! I wish I could spread love, and cheer, and care, oh and goodies to every single soul that needs/wants it! That would make me so happy. Hang in there, stay positive and I truly hope you get the love and care you deserve 🙏.
My mom is on hospice right now and has days left. I have been watching videos like this ever since she was diagnosed with stage 4 endometrial cancer and CHF ( congestive heart failure ) back in late January. I came to terms with the fact she would die back when she had pneumonia 8 years ago and spent 4 days in the hospital on IV antibiotics. She made it through that and thrived for years up until this point. I have also come to terms with my own mortality. My mom is very fortunate to live one house down from me and to have my wife and myself to take care of her in her final days. Hospice has been very helpful as well. To all of you that are here for the same reason or just out of curiosity , be at peace with mortality and the only way to transcend the anxiety and fear of death is to accept it and live life knowing that it is inevitable but also live life without the constant lingering thought of death. I guess just live life as best you can.
@ericjones745 My mother died on a mathematical date. August 5, 2015. In the beginning, it is difficult. I lived with her my whole life. The light is with time the pain subsides, and wonderful memories and dreams abide. I live each day as if it is an eternity. I believe in the afterlife. I'll see her again.
the mother of that little boy seemed like she had the wisdom of more than one lifetime, even before her child passed. she spoke such profound truths so casually
@@sweetcapricorn I love you sister in christ. We just have to pray always with every thing and wait patiently for our Lord Jesus to let us know. God Bless you my dear.
Actually, she did not speak profound truth when she said, "Certainly none of us knows for sure what happens you know after we pass." (46:09) Jesus Christ said, *"I am telling you the truth, whoever believes in me has eternal life."* (John 6:47) So obviously we CAN know what happens after death. God didn't just create us and leave us here with no knowledge of our existence. We have His Word, The Bible, which is our Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
I can't imagine how much these 2 young parents have greifed over this little precious baby and how strong they appear on here, and then seeing them still together is very encouraging knowing the mental grief and exhaustion probably to the point of giving up but they rose out of those ashes and now have 2 beautiful healthy children, with the momery of their first born engraved in their hearts forever.
@@williamgallucci9913 I believe she posted something on social media and shared a photo of herself and her husband and their two children. Boy and girl and the boy looks identical to her. I was happy to see their marriage survived because there is nothing more taxing then losing a child. I'll try to find where I saw that and get you a link.
Beautiful words were spoken as the Beautiful little boy was being laid to rest. The funeral director stood there in the snow and said that it was cold that day and he was glad that it was cold. Somehow those were the perfect words. I can't remember his exact words but I was moved to tears. I just wanted to hug him and tell him thank you for being there for all of those families and doing his job so perfectly. We should all be so compassionate.
I lost my Husband, my best friend, my partner in all things, 3 years ago in 3 weeks from now. He was a rare man. A funny, compassionate, hard-working, big bear of a man. He was also the gentlest man I've ever known to the Father of our girls. He was a great Papa to our Grandchildren, and always put his family before any work, friends, or other things. Fuerborn Funeral Home Handled his Father's, Mother's and eventually his funeral services. I cared for them for 23 years before he passed away. His Father 1st, and years later He died, with his Mother passing just 4 months later. My parents died within 5 months of each other 12 years earlier. I have lost, and been responsible for so many friends. Some, because they had no family to tend to them, or they just didn't care, some because they had no one. I've lost a baby, many years ago. I have to say you never know these Osseo will affect you until they happen. There are many ways people grieve, and none of them are wrong. Understanding that is sometimes hard to do. Our Funeral home is so much like the one in this video. These people truly care. I've seen others who are strictly " Business ". I am so very thankful that wasn't the case with Fuerborne Funeral Home here in SE Kansas. They were all so very helpful, and did not question our needs as a family in laying our elders, and my Husband to rest. I cannot stress enough how important Pre-planning is. Knowing that those arrangements are planned ahead of time makes things go so much easier at a time when you least want to worry about the major decisions. May the Parents of that baby Boy be at Peace in their hearts, knowing they cared for him and did things in the way they wanted them done. I pray those empty arms have been filled with more children, never to replace a baby, only to be lived as MUCH, as that little baby was.
Antony's parents are extraordinary! His mother's strength and clarity of her thinking was a real punch in the stomach for me. What an intouch, articulate woman! Antony's father I worry about. He was obviously upset but not saying much. I hope both will find some amount of peace in their hearts for their beloved, Antony.
Those are my feelings exactly. He is lucky to have her as a partner in trying to make sense of their loss. This is one of the best documentaries that I have ever seen.
Only PBS had the capacity to produce a documentary on the funeral industry (and death and dying) with such profound authenticity. What a gift to the consumers of their services...almost 100% of us. Everything about this piece is so honest and pure. I thank everyone who participated in its production for teaching us how to live and how to die with dignity. I promise to ensure that when my time comes my children are spared the pain of not just my loss but the unpreparedness under which many of us hurriedly make these decisions once we've lost the people we love. Thank you PBS!
I'd get a will, but don't but anything upfront. You'll get nailed on that later. Maybe sure everyone has seen Ask a Mortician so you're not getting any surprises. See The American Way of Death Revisited. Library has it. It's Caitlyn's inspiration to be a mortician. Jessica Mitford. She's dead now, but lots of interesting things. You DON'T have to embalm. It's polluting. Most of the time. You can have green or forest burial. You don't need an expensive casket. The Jewish people use a plain box. You can get one. Any box will likely fall apart in a few months, anyway. None are entirely weather/waterproof and to imply they are is lying. Mausoleums are no guarantee, either. At some point, they'll be abandoned and its no fun when they explode from not being vented properly or start leaking. Then, you have an array of legal mess to get your "body" back in that situation...
That undertaker and his family are AMAZING! I'm not very religious, but I could clearly see the respect, dignity, and grace they gave to the dead and the living.
I recently lost my husband. We live in Kenya. The death and burial process is very ''hands on". Everyone close to him was involved. The funeral home provided embalming, the casket, the hearse, that is all. We did everything else. I found it helped to be involved, it became part of my relationship with him. I could be there until the very end. Now, we are left with the beautiful memories.
The toddler was born a month before my son was born and he is getting ready to turn 18. I hope those parents were able to find peace and happiness and healing after their son's death
That poor beautiful baby. There are no words, only tears. But his parents, it seems, are handling it best as anyone possibly can. And you actually see the boys eyes light up when his head is against his mothers chest. so at least he knew some comfort, even if a little. R.I.P
I'm an ICU nurse. Alas, I see death and dying all around me. There are people who die unexpectedly; and those very slowly. I do count it a privilege in both circumstances to be present with the patient and their loved ones during this time. I've often met people from several different funeral homes. While I certainly appreciate their caring manner, I have the greatest respect for Thomas Lynch and family. I can only pray to have people like them care for me in my final hours.
I share your feelings and thoughts as well. I’ve been in the military for 28 years in the army 27 years in special forces soon to retire in two years. Anthony looks so much like my child right now and really hits home. I see many people die during my service as a combat special forces medic. No matter how highly trained you are never get over the fact that you lost somebody in your care I go through this every day in my life I never stop learning. My plans are after the army is to get into med school. I have the basics done I have a biology degree and then go in life to get back before I die to make amends of what I’ve done in my past
I’m from a fifth generation undertaking family. It blows me away the amount of compassion and dedication funeral directors must have. A lot of new proprietors are in it for money, but you can always tell the difference between genuine professionals and grifters.
This came out in 2007, the year my Dad died. He had a sudden heart attack at 51, I was 27. We were laughing and joking the night before he passed. Fortunately he did have a pre needs policy, he always preached about being prepared. I remember going with him to the funeral home when his mom died when I was a teen. I remember feeling creeped out, and he would tell me to man up, because one day I’ll have to do it. And he was right, 12 years later I was in the same funeral home taking care of him. This shit is ripping my heart out!
My dad also died in 2007. Feb. 11th but he had already prepaid for everything and everything was set to his wishes. It definitely made things better that he had done this. Even though I knew he was dying, I was still a wreck.
Our funeral director was a family friend, and I am so thankful they allowed me to participate in the dressing of my mama and daddy, and assisting them into their caskets. As a society, we have been insulated from death in many ways, and I felt this was a very special way to honor my parents one last time. Until we meet again, R.I.P. to you both
My condolences to all the family members of the deceased in this documentary. May the perpetual light shine for the departed and families find peace and solace.
I visited my parents’ grave not too far from their deaths. The workers were digging a grave. They were so gentle with the earth, working slowly and quietly. It brought me some peace, knowing that they dug my own parents’ graves.
Working in the floral industry for years, I delivered to many funeral homes, and saw the dead of all ages. While it didn't make me unsettled to be near them, there was always something odd to me in viewing them. One day, it dawned on me: they weren't breathing. From the day we are born, everyone we come in contact with is breathing. It made me appreciate ever breath I took from then on.
Working for a funeral home is honestly one of the best periods in my life. I came to terms with my own mortality. I realized that my earthly remains will be just that, because I consider my body as a vessel that holds my soul. As sad as it was at times, I knew that I had helped a grieving family as best I could. There's a greater reward waiting. Bless you all.
When my brother Mike died suddenly at the age of 40, his estranged wide took over. She wanted to put on a show so that she would get all the acknowledgement and sympathy this group of people who knew him from high school on. She sat in the first row (it was not in a church) of this building. It appeared to be a sort of Community Center. I honestly don't know. People came from all over. Hawaii, back east, mid west. Mostly from California where he lived his entire life. He spent the last 20 years in South Lake Tahoe and finally Zephyr Cove. We, his immediate family of three sat 3/4 of the way back. Even her daughter sat back where we were. Outside, there were a bunch of people st standing in the snow
I would like to Thank the families who have allowed their loved ones to be part of this documentary. I would also like to say thank you to the Lynch Family, for answering the many questions which I have had for such a long time. This documentary was educational and moving to the heart! From: Miss Gordon South Africa.
When my Dad passed I ordered him a new dress whites uniform and his medals, he was a 40 year Naval officer who fought in 3 wars…our funeral director did everything perfectly…down to my father having his ceremonial sword in his hands, a NAVY emblem in his casket top and a 21 gun salute…I am so grateful for the directors great pains to make everything perfect for my Dad, who was a personal friend to the director, and for us the family. Very grateful for that
As a parent who lost an infant at 6 months age I never realized how the death of a child would’ve also affected those who cared for him at the end. God bless you for what you do💔
What a caring & compassionate family of funeral directors. Such kindness and understanding. Not everyone can do this job. It takes a special person to do this right.
Thank you PBS for another exemplary documentary. Very tastefully done and moving to say the least. The Verrino family has my most heart felt condolences. The stoicism of these two parents was incredible. Her poignant description of closure had me in tears at the end.
I’ve used this Funeral Home several times for beloved family members and never once have I made fun or joked about this home or directors. I always been very happy with the way this home has taken care of my family, friends and grandchild, thank you for your professionalism that is why your homes are so gosh darn successful.
They reminded me of our hometown family-run funeral home, Oakeys. My father worked there and he spoke of the respect and dignity given to those who had died in preparation. It was very important to him. He was gifted in serving and comforting families. I was proud of my father! When I saw them dressing the man, they worked quickly with dignity as they kept him covered. Their professional dress with aprons reminded me of the stories my father would tell us. My father passed in 2009 at age 64. Watching this well done documentary made me feel as if I was watching my father at work. He taught me a lot about death and the importance of the visitation and viewing. I miss my dad, but I know I’ll see him in the other side. Thank you PBS and to the Lynch family for a quality documentary on something we all must face. Well done.
This is the first time I have seen this documentary. Watching the death of a child was especially difficult as my family lost our beautiful sweet 5 year old Alexis in 2012. Her eyes were so blue that it was like looking into an ocean. Nothing prepares you for the death of a child. It’s beyond devastating. Almost 11 years have gone by now and there’s not a day that I don’t think of her. She was so sweet, and full of life. I’ll carry this pain with me until it’s my turn to leave this world. Losing a loved one is so hard, but a child, full of life, should be here. There were no long slow goodbyes. Alexis died suddenly. She was the light of my life ❤️
I’m glad I watched this. It seems this family has devoted their lives to be of service to families left behind. They showed so much respect and reverence for those who passed. It changed my mind about funeral homes.
Mrs. Verrino was beautifully spoken and eloquent in her grief and we can only hope to have as sensitive a funeral director as Mr. Lynch when our loved ones pass.
The importance of what you do cannot be over stated. Thank you. My husband passed this past Easter 2023. He was cremated. The hardest thing I have ever done. Picking up his urns. Taking them home. Tobias Funeral Home made something very difficult bearable. Their kindness and patience and respect meant everything. Being able to view my husband one last time with my son was so important. It made it final. It helped me understand that was the last time I would ever see him. It's burned in my memory. You guys are angels on earth. Thank you.
My adult son lost his father May 10...My former husband many years ago....My son still cannot pick up the urn...while Ive had many family mbr pass and been on medical side far to many years, nothing prepared me ever for this...nothing...
I worked at a mortuary. It's incredible work. Really hard to break into if your family isn't in the business. And the hours are unpredictable and pretty terrible. But you have deep, deep human connection. And being there for other humans in their saddest hour is a humbling and beautiful experience. Beautiful documentary.
I worked in a funeral home helping cremate and i was not family and was pretty much treated like a nothing and nobody. Funeral directors, undertakers, which ever they are, are a bunch of weird fucks that shelter themselves from everything else and cant work real jobs.
Really hard to break into? Where do you live? Where I live most places are looking for people. No one wants to work because a lot of it is on call overnight a few nights a week so they quit. Also have to be on call on holidays so they quit.
@@BrenB125 They don't understand the commitment. I was a FD/ Embalmer for 40 plus years and retired. Saw lots of people come and go in the business, especially student just out of school couldn't handle the erratic schedule.
both parents of this little boy , loved him deeply ; and the little boy knew it . He felt safe with them and knew he was loved . The daddy interacting with Anthony was absolutely precious - he loved , that baby boy .
An extraordinarily open, honest film about dying and those who prepare the dead for our goodbyes. Thomas Lynch’s prose touched me. I spent close to 35 years on the other end of this equation - as an ICU RN, where we were often delaying death because the patient and/or family had not come to terms with it. We see folks hang on and wait for permission, or wait for one more loved one to get there, so they can go in peace. I felt such anguish when I witnessed a grown man say to a 94 year old woman , “ Oh grandma, you CAN’T die !” All we can do is be gentle with that man, and let him know what’s going on in her body - that there’s suffering there - and hope that he can give himself AND Grandma the gift of letting go.
God bless you and work you do. I used to work at the VA here in Los Angeles. It was hard to go home on the weekends or holidays and return the work right after just find out that a veteran patient I had befriended had transitioned. It is also the same with our furbabies. I just lost my precious Coco-Chanel November 15th from advance cancer. She delayed her own death until she got to spend time and see all the family before she went. I had an appointment to take her the day she transitioned to get euthanized. Before that day came I knew I could not handle seeing someone take the very life of the very one that added happiness to my life since she been in it. I prayed to the Lord for my Coco-Chanel to transition on her own terms and not subject neither me or her additional stress of her getting euthanized as I knew it would be hard on the both of us. After she saw my eldest son for the last time I stayed up with her that night bundling her in her favorite blanket holding her, I told her it was ok for her to go. I cried and rubbed her head as I held her in my arms as she took her last breath. It broke me. I took her in to the vet to have her cremated and when I went to pick up her ashes, I thought I was ok only to find out I wasn't because I was faced with the reality that my furbaby, my pup was truly gone and broke down crying while her vet nurses and drs came rushing to me to comfort me. Its hard whether its a human or furbaby. But I have the comfort of knowing she is no longer in pain and that she is forever in my heart until we meet again.
You're not in the business of death, that's a soldier's job - you're in the dignity business, giving dignity to those who have crossed over when no one else can. Thank you.
The poem Mr Lynch recites (probably of his own making) while they are shoveling the earth onto that child's remains is astoundingly beautiful. I can think of no greater way to express the pain and glory of that moment.
I work at a funeral home and I do everything from pick ups to dressing them to putting them in the casket to working the funerals to digging the grave to covering the grave to helping in the crematory and let me tell you, you have to have a heart for people to work in this industry. I love being there to console and to say our prayers are with you and we are here for you and loving on the families that are hurting. Just for me it makes me feel like I am showing people that you can find good people during your hardest time.
Maybe sometime in the future i might wanna volunteer at a funeral home. For a week or two. Just to prepare see the process and everything not to work it full time just seeing how many people passway. Would be less stress full the day i get near my own death one day. Are there any volunteering in funeral homes like setting up chairs cleaning. Small stuff that a regular person can do. Just a thought
@@piratesmurf4251 there are funeral homes that will let you do what they consider shadowing as if you were going to go into the business and all of that but I'm sure can find a funeral home that would let you volunteer especially now because pretty much all over people are looking for good help
In a strange way I appreciate the families for allowing us to see this part of their loved ones passing. Interesting, heartbreaking and though provoking all at once. Well done and respectful.
Mr. Lynch is indeed a poet. His words, his insight, are truly amazing. His family's dedication and serenity for providing their services is indeed touching, but that does not even state it fully enough. Thank you, to all of the people in this video.
As a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer I have the incredible honor and task each and every day of loving and caring for families that have lost their loved one. I take it with the absolute most sincerity and compassion I can. It's a wonderful ministry and calling.
As a funeral director and embalmer, the kindness is beautiful. Glad to know we have such kind comrades out there. May God keep all the families close, bring them peace and comfort. I hope the little family of the child is thriving. Prayers for all.
This is an important documentary. Thank you for creating it. I have chosen cremation for myself and after watching this film, I hope I am in a simple cardboard box, rather than a beautifully crafted coffin that will also be reduced to ashes. To the loving parents whose little boy died, my heart goes out to them. I can not comprehend their grief, but I feel it to my core.
My mom was against cremation for many year but over the last few months her views changed and she just made the decision to be cremated. I personally prefer to just donate my body to science.
FYI there's special caskets used for viewing pre cremation and the cardboard box is the same as a direct cremation, except it will have a cloth liner mimicing a regular casket crepe interior...and they're typically wood.
This was beautiful. Gave me a lot to think about and reflect on. My relative who is like a mother to me has said she wants to be cremated. I pray I have the strength to go through all that will be involved. But all of us need to plan how we are to leave this earth. Plan and pay now, so loved one's won't have an additional burden to deal with when we're gone.
What a beautiful presentation of the care given to the bodies of the dead, and to the well-being of the living. The profound grief I felt at the passing of my mother welled to the surface as I watched, as well as my gratefulness for all the caring professionals who helped her and me cope with her transition from life to death. The insightful and empathetic readings by the funeral director brought tears to my eyes.
I cannot imagine any funeral director charging for a child’s burial. This is an absolutely precious, humbling family our communities would be blessed to have. What a gift to be trusted with someone’s entire world for their last earthly moments.
You can't see charging for a child's funeral??? Yes, it's very sad, but that's how they make their money. A place can't stay in business if they don't charge
I watch this every so often…even more since losing my newborn son in 2019. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone because being a bereaved parent is an incredibly lonely journey.
I am, myself, stage 4 lung cancer metastatic to the brain and I'm considered terminal. The Lord gives me daily comfort and assures me that I will join Him in His kingdom. Thank you, Lord, for your endless love. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
The older I get the more respect I have for these people. It is the most respectful thing you can do for a human being even though they're not living anymore. And it's the most respectful thing you can do for the family who are living.
Damn I lost it when the parents were planning their baby boys funeral. Really puts things in perspective, and helps you count your blessings. Such a strong couple. I'm very glad they shared their story...and that YT for some strange reason recommended this documentary.
I've watched this documentary upwards of 15 times now in the last two months, not only because it's what gave me the drive to pursue my passion and enroll in mortuary school, but because I feel like the Lynch family is the example that future funeral directors and morticians should learn from when it comes to business ethic and compassion. I hope one day I can be half as good as the Lynch family has been to the families and communities they've served. They continue to inspire me every day, and I can only hope that I will someday make such an impact on someone through my work.
Baby Anthony had such knowing eyes and reactions to everything that was being said around him. Did anyone notice that? Rest well Anthony and sending love and hugs to the family.❤
Of course, Anthony's story was very touching. It's tough to make any sense of it, the little man didn't get anything remotely close to a fair shot. His parents were so resilient. Rest in peace and peace be to the families of the departed.
If you follow eastern religions, our souls come many times until we have learned every lesson life has to offer. Ultimately, we are ready to lose our individual consciousness and become unaware. Who knows what little Anthony was here to learn, or perhaps here to teach.
This is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever watched. The parents of that poor little boy........when they carried him to his grave.....I couldn't help but weep. The mother was so strong. The poor father keeping it all in. What pain. It gives me an entirely new appreciation of the work these people do. Thank you for showing this.
Overall, I was struck by the silent reverence the Lynch family and their employees have as they go about their work. Their concern for the living as well as the deceased is such a comfort. As Thomas Lynch read his journal, I was struck by the depth of his thoughts and emotions. How wonderful that they were recorded so beautifully for his family to treasure. Actually, I would love a copy if it’s been published. Then there were the families. Bless the Verrino family. I hope they have been able to have a healthy child. I was moved by Aunt Mary and her eloquent niece. When my son took his life at 17 in 1993, we were very fortunate to have a similar funeral home in our community. It had been in business over 100 years. It was such a comfort to have them walk me through the process, ever concerned about my feelings and needs. 🥀
