The Weakness of Recovery 

İ can say İ'm probably %85 beat this nasty ocd. And I can say it all started with this guy. He's doing an amazing work. So thanks Mark. You''re an excellent friend and a great guide

I've never ever ever seen anybody in 20 years explain so well the meaning of acceptance

I define acceptance of thoughts as the ability to disregard and not react to them

I guess the banana will just have to accept it's been replaced by an apple.

This was really a light bulb moment for me lately. I actually said to myself "you can't fix this" and the reality really hit. I have to give up the need to fix or find answers to weird/intrusive thoughts. Knowing that is both great and scary all at once but I get it. I now finally get it. It has been a war.

It's all about resistance - - when you don't resist a thought, even when it makes you feel anxious or doubtful, then you've accepted it, but in the long run, those feeling of anxiety and doubt will diminish as you build up your tolerance. Don't overthink it, but get in the habit of recognizing your OCD by observing rather than analyzing your mind.

I absolutely love this video. In our community we discussed a lot about it, how can we accept something that make us feel bad? We don't want to feel bad, so we HAVE to resolve this thing to get better again, cause when we do it everything come back to normal and we start to enjoy life. 1 hour later, another apple pop up, maybe with a banana, so now we have to resolve the apple and the banana, we start to feel bad again. How amazing is this? The harderst part is let the "meaning" of the apple goes. The usual part that people say "oh if i accept the thought it means that i will not be scared anymore and i will kill someone, i will be gay, i will not love my boyfriend, it is impossible to accept!" it leads people to think "how do I know if i accept it i will know i will not kill someone? Sorry i feel too much uncertain, i NEED to know". So we put all our effort in this cycle that will never end. Also, people like me try to accept (or try to do other things like the usual routine) hoping that the feeling (or thought) goes away, because we WAAAANT to feel good, we want so much feel in the right place and everything is going well. Dropping all those things is titanic. In our community people that read out from ocd told us "when you will change your way to think, when you will change your self, everything will be even more better than you can ever imagine, but it is hard", and it is like what you try to say every video you make. I understood more about acceptance, thanks for this video and for all videos and articles that you made and make. Greetings from Italy. Lili.

This totally exemplifies the same issue I had with recovery. Made a lot of progress but felt like I was always getting tripped up by trying to accept things in order to make them go away. I think that razor-sharp focus on accepting a bad thought inherently comes from a belief that you need to get rid of it somehow. Plus, there's a lot of compulsions in that too...constantly checking to see the "status" of your thought and/or emotion, needing reassurance, ruminating on how to properly accept a thought. Practically speaking, I just kind of take a moment to "give up the fight" when it comes to any tough thoughts or emotions to deal with. I'll take a second to acknowledge it, and then just move on to doing things I actually value and not reacting with compulsive behaviors. I'll take the thought/feeling with me and it's like those thoughts/feelings eventually get bored and leave haha. The thing is that the more I did this sort of thing, the less my brain had a tendency to bring these things up. The intrusive thoughts and feelings faded completely after a while. I still have feelings and thoughts that sometimes come up that I don't want to deal with but I remember what my values are and how valuable it is to accept those things. Even though I consider myself fully recovered from OCD, there's always more I can learn and apply to my mental health.

Another reason I found was Laying around and trying to stop it it gets really bad. What I do whenever it comes across me I laugh at the thought and I think so hard about. Then I’m aware of it and I don’t get anxious about that thought you just gotta let it be and out of knower it will be gone and you will never ever be stuck with it. Intrusive thoughts are not a problem it’s how you react. Trust me guys it doesn’t stay there forever it will go away. Kinda like when you watch a horror movie after you watch that you can’t stop thinking about it and it won’t get out of your mind.but after a few days when you let that be it won’t trigger that alarm anymore. I’ve had bad thoughts about harming my loved ones and taking my eyeballs out lol weird wtf lol. and it’s just thoughts and I never did those because I would look back at it and say wtf did I just think about and I wouldn’t really worrie about. But I kept it wondering in my head and it just was incredible that how amazing I just let it be it’s hard at first but the more you do it the easier it will get. Cuz you know you don’t like them and you don’t want to take action but that’s the thing you won’t because you don’t want it. We are worrying because we’re smart. Trust me guys there is hope and it won’t stay there forever there just thoughts are brain loves us and wants to protect us that’s why it’s giving us those images/thoughts. Stay strong 💪 people.

Honestly Mark gives the best advice on beating OCD. I finally understood that as long as one persists on trying to figure out something, gain certainty etc. or labeling things as "OCD-thoughts", "non-OCD thoughts", "real memories", "fake memories" etc. one will always end up being stuck in the OCD loop. OCD will speak with different tongues to the sufferer, when you feel well it will appear harmless and almost seductive, like "you are so close to the final answer" or "wouldn't you feel even better if you'd get certainty now?". When you feel bad it sounds like a bully, it makes things appear like "life or death" questions. In any case it tries everything to drag you into engaging with it.

Mark freeman = genius.. People who don't suffer from this gremlin can't get there heads around it 👌

I needed this today....I believe In God and for years I prayed for Him to take my OCD....one day I came across your videos and it just clicked....I had been praying wrong, I needed to pray for the tools to help cure this thing so I didn’t have to battle it again...I’ve been practicing your advice but I had something come up a few days ago I felt myself slipping back to the old patterns...today I prayed God give me the tools to help me with this....and I just came across this video...you’re so right and you answered my questions....I’m so thankful for you, I wish you knew just how much you help people thru these videos....

I don’t accept the thoughts as in I don’t accept that those thoughts are part of me. Because they are just thoughts. I don’t let the fear... behind those thoughts... have any power. For me at least, it’s not letting those fears behind those thoughts have any power or authority or even a whisper of a voice in my life. I am a beautiful field. And any thought is a seed. And I decide whether or not that thought will take root. I am a beautiful vanilla sky and thoughts are just clouds passing through. I am a firm believer in being positive and letting your thoughts become more positive and forming healthier habits. At first it feels weird but soon after it starts to feel weird not to have positive thoughts. Don’t let any thought drag you down. You are all strong and courageous. Even when you don’t feel it. I am strong and these thoughts don’t have importance at all because I know who I am. And that or those ain’t me. It’s like if someone were walking down the street and said “hey you’re gay!” I’d be like. Ok. Cool buh bye! Or “hey you’re gonna get in a car crash today!” Uhhh this guys crazy. But we feed these thoughts because we often give them meaning. Where they really don’t. We give them power when we try to over control. Like he said. In your weaknesses sometimes there is strength.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t truly appreciate just what acceptance really means until I watched this. Thank you, Mark. I laughed heartily as I watched it twice. Okay, three times. I think I may have a pretty good day today and I hope you and others do, too.

Fighting the thought is the same compulsion.And finding a way to accept in the RIGHT way is the same compulsion as feeling "right" and then do smth.You dont have to be in a "right" feel/mood whatever to do things,just take focus on changing your life and your brain will eventually understand that it is better to support this guy than attacking him 24/7

Love this! This concept was one of the main points of the book "At Last a Life" by Paul David.. giving up the struggle and getting on with doing things you care about. Totally a game changer!

Dude you are saving my life on video at a time

I found sobriety by getting to the bottom of my dysfunctional history and family of origin through therapy and 12 step work. I also placed proper boundaries around the things that triggered me. Now I am able to deal with negative thoughts and emotions in a mature way.

I guess the problem with how some people take "acceptance" is the idea that they want it to feel a certain way or think that it SHOULD feel a certain way. When really it's just the fact that regardless of if we like it or not, something is. Or isn't. Or may or may not be. =P And I came back and watched the video again after this morning when I went to church. Our Minister was talking about when he was dying from a scorpion bite in Liberia and how a Pastor gave him a word and said if he just accepted it he could have hope to live. He said it didn't make any sense if he just looked at it, "How? How do I accept it?" but at the time that didn't matter [because dying] and so he said it didn't matter that it didn't make sense, he just had to accept the word was what it WAS regardless. (and obviously he is still alive). So when he kept going on about accepting and not trying, I was like...damn need to watch Mark's video again, lol.

This is the greatest video about OCD recovery. I love you!!!

This made me cry inside. Yes, we are made strong, not for fighting ourselves, but for the things worthwhile in our lives. Thank you Mark. I've struggle with sleep anxiety for years, and I've recently have feelings that I might go insane. Your videos are changing ppls lives

Am at the phase of my life that i was beating myself for so long on how to get rid of the intrusive thoughts with so many informations, but it just made my ocd worse, now i choose the weakness and just have compassion for myself and embrace uncertainty , thank you for all your advices ❤

You have an amazing gift my man

THANK YOU

This video hit me so hard I’ve been battling an entire year with the same thoughts I’ve tried so many ways of accepting trying to make accepting perfect I wanted to get off my meds and learn how to cope so I’ve been off my anxiety meds for a few months, I’m a perfectionist so I’m constantly trying to get recovery perfect and realized for me recovery still means trying to rid my self of these thoughts when I really just have to drop all my weapons stop fighting and say hey thought you can be there stay as long as you like and I’m gonna keep living my life to my values .

awesome video. thank you so much for uploading

Took numerous times watching this video for me to start to understand it. I was battling with my thoughts so frequently that I viewed this video with the preconceptions of obtaining a new trick to fight off my thoughts. had to watch it at the end of the day and remind myself to drop my mental weapons and focus on whats real. Thanks again Mark, your videos are changing my life

Thank you Mark Freeman :)

Boy, this video really spoke to me today. Thanks.

Wonderful video as always. Very very helpful as always

This is an amazing piece. Thanks so much Mark.

Such a good video

Thank you Mark, that explanation has helped

You're videos have helped me tremendously. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to make this, it's impacting me immensely.

Bad apples are pretty good! Thank you sir!

These videos are really helping me with those dam. Intrusive thoughts that are not true. One thing that I’ve been doing is fighting compulsions and being mindfulness while accepting them. I don’t no why anxiety makes us feel Ike we’re gonna go crazy but we’re not we’re overreacting and that’s what makes us feel more fear.......that’s the problem. I’ve also been learning to laugh at these thoughts They seem to go away a lot

I never heard anyone talk about Ocd this accurately thank you for sharing this with us!!

You are great, you make me smile everytime I watch a video and all you say is so helpful. Thank you

Great video as always, just what I needed at this point of my recovery. Am still struggling everyday but I guess I really don't have to if I could just let go of the fight. Just hope I can remember what you have said at crunch time..

Thank u.. For explaining.... May god bless u.. You are an real angel... I believe

Very very helpful at present to come back to this video. Thanks for all you do Mark.

You’ve got your finger on the pulse of this thought pattern and “disorder” so so well

Thanks Mark you're doing amazing work really big help for OCD suffers this could be a game changer 💪♥️

Love this video, thank you Mark!!! X

So cool!

Acceptance with anxiety means to get on with your life and don't care about it as much as possible. To let it come and let it be if it appears and do nothing about it. Ending the fight/resistance. Ending the avoidance of it. In hard time to just sit with it and feeling it. Ending seeing it as a problem or a threat. Let it be, don't react/engage with it and get on with what you were doing.

hi Mark, Still waiting on the book sadly, but I have a video idea. How to properly sport and do the building and creating you're always talking about. Or a fitness 'vlog'. Great video and perfectly explained how accepting can also be a compulsion. Half a year ago I did exactly this, trying to accept.. now I know better. Have a good day!

Your videos are great and you really know how to demonstrate your point. Thank you soo much. I know acceptance is the only true way. To anyone who is suffering whit this even if you don't think that it's the right way try i promise i really helps. No one whit intrusive thoughts deservs to fill bad because they don't really mean those things. So accept tham as just thoughts and do what you really like.

Great video, one of your best.

I needed this. Thank you for your videos. They have teached me so much.

Honestly, love this video and concept! As a super visual person, this makes so much sense! Thank you for this Mark! Loving all your videos! They are all so helpful! :)

I loved this video so much, thank you Mark :)

Awesome video Mark! One tool I have been practicing lately is the R.A.I.N principle by Sharon Salzberg. RECOGNISE what's happening mentally or physically, ALLOW thoughts and feelings to be there, INVESTIGATE from a non judgemental stance, where am I feeling this in my body? What thoughts am I having right in this moment etc. NON IDENTYIFY with whatever you are experiencing in this moment, be it crazy intrusive thoughts or extreme Fear or Anxiety.. It's a daily practice for me , it takes time and patience for sure, But who said we have to take part in every emotion or thought that crosses our Brain radar?!! Another tip that helps with R.A.I.N is to go through these steps but write it out, the first time I did this it was like I was truly the non judgemental observer... light bulb moment for me! 👍👍

This video is exactly what I needed thank you so much Mark ! All your videos are so amazing ! I could never thank you enough 👏 👏 👏

I've always thought of it as a battle/war so this video resonates with me. Especially that I have to be "strong" for me and those I care about due to what's happened in life outside of my OCD. It's almost like I indoctrinated myself into thinking I was a soldier so I wouldn't feel like a victim. When the truth is I'm neither. I'm just a person trying to find a way through. Accepting thoughts is a tough thing, especially some of the ones I get, but I'm going to give this video and it's ideas some time and try to practice it.

The funny thing about this video is about halfway through, I forgot all about the apple until you brought it up again.... maybe there’s something to that... Great video

I'd like to extend the concept of acceptance also to past "mistakes" and things we have regret about. The type of "if I wouldn't have done xyz in the past, I wouldn't have OCD or this particular OCD thought"

Fantastic video Mark.

Mark, you have been one of the best, if not the best ,when it comes to ocd advice. Focussing on a meaningful purpose is the key element that overcomes ocd. And i really havent seen other proffesionals talk about it. Thank you for being so generous, genuine and truthful, when the rest of them are just trying to make money , or talking out of their hats. Loads of love and respect.

Extraordinarily explained 👍

For the longest time I've tried to resist and fight my psychosomatic disorders because of pure, raw fear that they develop into illnesses, but with the passing of time they have multiplied...this year has been so far the worst of my life, but after watching some of your videos and trying to implement your techniques, I am at the moment in a state of calm that I haven't been in for a long time. By simply not fighting these fears and focusing on other stuff, they seem to have considerably subsided. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your videos seem to make a huge difference.

Thank you Mark for sharing your insight and experience with anxiety/ocd. You have been a huge blessing to me in my own recovery helping unpack concepts that were previously vague to me in a clear concise manner that ive been able to put into practice in my own daily life. Again, thank you so much! You Rock!

we r blessed to get such advice because my family is religious and what they taught me is very contrary to what u say,they say every time u have a BAD thOught u should pray and what they are unaware of is that theres no such thing as a good or bad thought.BY THE WAY I BOUGHT YOUR BOOK AND IM LOOKING FORWARD TO TAKING ACTION WITH THE KNOWLEDGE AND GO THROUGH THE PAIN AND SWEAT

Thanks for sharing, I think your videos are very important and useful. It’s probably what I need to learn, or rather, unlearn. Turns out that attacking problems is not always the way to solve them.

This is an amazing video. It illustrates the concepts of ACT beautifully. Thank you for all your videos. The sufferings you have faced in your life have served to be make you a great teacher. I love your optimism and hope for all!

You’ve saved my life many times and I’m grateful for you! ❤️

thanks for your videos mate they are helpful however I still have a problem when doing your method, cuz every time I try that my old OCD experiences pop back into my brain causing me a lot of terror, it is like my brain fears that the same thing will happen again whatever I do! I am really having a tough time right now, but I believe there is an end to this.

This video is a piece of gold

“You must unlearn what you have learned” -Yoda/Mark Freeman Seriously mark you hit the nail on the head with this one. I’m doing quite well in recovery but still tend to make OCD the center of my world because that’s the way it’s been for half of my life. Its easy to fall back into that ditch. It was beautiful when you said “ engaging in battle with them meant I already lost” it’s really food for thought! Its a process but I’m refusing to GIVE UP, and I’m striving to LET GO! You put any material out there covering the ebbs and flows of recovery? It’s such a fluid experience and learning to handle the ups and downs is essential.

Wow ! Great ! Its so meaningful video with example. Thanks Mark

Wow this really has helped me makes perfect sense I have been fighting my OCD for years & got nowhere thank you

Awesome video. I think there are probably more factors that puts you in fight or flight mode. You feel like you must solve this otherwise everything is going to end.

Haha! I like your style of making things clear sir... I am glad I landed here. That's the type of channel I was subconsciously searching for...

This is just SOOOO good. I have stumbled into this myself, "dropping the fight", and it has given me such a sense of freedom, it is difficult to express in words. And Mark explains it with such simplicity and irony. I wish I had seen this a few years ago!

You have no idea how good u make me feel! Like i know that reassurance isnt good on my journey because when i dont get it i have the worst moments, bit this video literally tells me to not care about whatever is going on in my head and live my life without thinking im some monster. Thank you

Spot on as always. The concept of acceptance had me so stuck. Thank you😭!!

This video really clicked something for me yesterday! Understanding to stop judging thoughts good or bad makes so much sense to me. I’ve had some weird thoughts today that my body still creates anxiety from, but this video has helped me to not focus on thought or DO anything. Instead I have just focused on changing my body and recognizing mindfulness to get out of the anxious state. Several thoughts that 2 days ago would have ruined my day and sent me down a rumination hole. Thank you so much.

I love your humour Mark. Makes me see that a situation I thought was terrible and serious has a ludicrous side to it too. I find that a big help. Your video of writing on bananas was a real eye opener and I use it often to remind me that horrendous thoughts are just bananas. X

I've suffered with OCD since the age of 9, now at 40 thanks to Marks video's i have a completely different perspective of how to deal with my thoughts and feelings, and that is acceptance of my thoughts and to not give them any meaning. this has really helped me the last few months. Thanks Mark, keep up the great work. Gona check out your book aswell. thanks.

Dude , in my opinion, you’re a gift to so many of us. I wish you joy. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of acceptance

Love this!!! Thank you for making these! Is it ok to share on my page?

Omg this metaphor is genius and exactly what I needed to understand

I already accept my thoughts (most of the time) But me fighting to become healthy again is also a compulsion? I feel like if i accept my current state it would feel like giving up on myself..

Hey Mark! I wanted to leave a friendly comment and i hope you see this! You have been the only person to actually get through to me and describe to me in a way that I can understand what is going on with me. For the past five months one of my biggest obsessions came back into my life and I have been fighting this again like I have in the past with techniques that I actually learned online and through research. Although many were good, they were not the exact ways that I needed to follow to overcome and move on with what I was dealing with which is pure O. I am putting this comment on this video because this was the video that was the big "Oh my god" moment when I realized what I was doing. I could go into many details of the ways you have helped me with the videos you have posted but I am going to leave this short. For the first time in ten years I am able to get close with my S/O without feeling fear and pain. Even though its not 100% perfect, I am actually able to feel good emotions again and experience what OCD has taken from me for many years: the feeling of love, as I had many obsessions and triggers around relationships because of past trauma. Thank you so much Mark for existing and taking time out of your life to share your success in a way that makes sense and can help us all. It almost makes me cry because I had no idea how long i have been in shackles. You are a special human being and I can never thank you enough. cheers

"Bad apples are pretty good" good lesson to learn.

Mark, could you please make a video about magical thinking? It's being my major barrier to recovery, for example, one of the obsessions that really get me out of the trail of healthy actions is when I read a positive quote, something like "whatever comes to you, you can handle it", I think my OCD clings to the possibility of something bad happening and starts to throw thoughts like "you will get a disease" or "you will become disabled", things like that. Everything that I read feels like it's enough to make bad things happen, just reading something, or seeing a picture.

Hey Mark. I really like your videos. Can you also make a video on taking medication for mental health? Because sometime people avoid taking when it is really needed.

Your videos help me a great deal thank you. I just have one question. I’m doing very well on my road to recovery, I’m quite knowledgeable on the subject of anxiety. But, whenever my day comes to a standstill for example when I’m just sitting drinking a cup of coffee or going for a walk in the park or doing anything that doesent require my 100% focus, I start to worry. My mind chews away at mainly irrational anxiety provoking and uncomfortable thoughts. It will replay the same ocd type thoughts over and over, the same anxious conversations to the point that I don’t know how else to think when I’m not 100% occupied. It causes me a lot of distress and frustration. It just frustrates me that I can’t look forward to things in these moments or reflect on nice memories, why does my brain automatically jump to this nonsense. Do you have any advice for this? Thank you

Mark I found this video very interesting and for me it gave me hope. I suffer with hypochondria not OCD. Can I use this analogy you could say to help me get over intrusive thoughts and feelings. Every feeling I have relates to a severe illness in my mind. Please please do more videos on health anxiety ( hypochondria).

What about being almost recovered but you have physical headache like pain in the temple area? Just feeling beat. Are my nerves still healing? Thanks

Hi mark, please answer this question. I suffer from religious OCD and I was triggered by something but was able to move on from it but then I had the urge to say it and I did in a careless manner like I wanted it and I didn't care and wanted that bad thought. Only until I did it on purpose I looked back and started to feel guilty, is this OCD or was that me really wanting it? This was a thought that I could of ignored but chose to want it but it was a bad thing

yes, i have been kind of struggling with this lately. I was thinking "I accept this" and stuff like this over and over again and wondering if i "really" accepted it. Or maybe i didnt't accept it in the "right" way lol...

Hi Mark, it's not about making judgements but I personally realised that to identify a pathology with your mental health and then working towards the recovery, that in itself needs a judgement. Unless you don't recognise that something ain't normal, how do you start working towards the recovery? Most people with extreme pathologies never realise there is something wrong with them... and they end up performing terrible deeds in the world. While there are a fraction in the spectrum who realise the issues and seek help! That would have never happened in first place without making a judgement right?

Mark freeman As u said in every video and comment u just follow your values while having any thought,emotions i follow my values but thoughts bothering me .my thoughts are not obssesive but i am so obssesive with my thoughts. I mean i am so aware of my thoughts because i don't know how to accept thought. When i am walking and see a car i notice the car but mentally i accept that car so my mind go for another car another tree another thing. So how i follow my values when i dont accept the thought of car. Even i know i already accepted that car that tree that bus. And i go back where i want to go.but then i notice a car so my mind go for accepting that car. Can i stop to seeing that car several time with out my attention. Why my thoughts every thought want my attention why everything i see want my attention to accept how i ignore this

Now my ocd i kind of wierd.my obsessive thoughts are me trying to explain to others my problem.which i want to do sometime,which drives me crazy.

Hey mark. When dealing with alot of fears with ocd. It's always been helpful when I have a a bad thought to not perform a compulsion and see that something bad doesnt happen. However with thoughts regarding hell. We will never reach a point where we notice it doesnt happen. How would someone deal with this fear? Thanks.

you're immortal

good analogy! btw, did you get new ink? :)

How do you not label a thought

I tried now for a long time not to react to thoughts, but I assume that I came to place where I can't trust myself anymore. For example I think of something and then think "ok, don't react to it so think of something else or pull your attention towards your sight to stay present" . But it feels like I started to loose the proper ability to not react to something. It's feels like I messed my head up with this approach. So everytime I think anything, I pull myself away from it with this "you shouldn't respond to it" topic in the back of my head, but it feels so wrong and after some months I feel totally alienated to thinking and also very desperate. Because in the end all I want is not feeling the way I feel now: desperate, alienated to my inner stuff. Probably I ended up with another compulsion, but it is for me now like inception. I really don't know how to not react to something because I'm not sure anymore to what to not react. I feel like a robot that tries to pretend being human and adapt. When do I ruminate about something that's bad for me and when is it normal thinking, so what thinking patterns are my compulsions and what not? What of that mess makes my mental health worse? Because clearly there is stuff I do that is messing me up and on the other hand looking for that stuff that is messing me up, is messing me up. I'm really a mess lately. Sorry for that never ending post