the week before my daughter died | I stole a cat | storytime 

Everytime you speak about Noah Lee I can hear the loss in your voice but the immense love you’ll always have for her . If laying her clothes out brings you close to her do it and don’t explain to people why you do it because you don’t owe anyone any sort of explanation, you’re a great mom for all your three children .🤍❤️❤️

What I love about your channel is how real you are, even though you know there are people who will tear apart everything you say and do. If you can't visit Noah-Lee everyday or lay out her clothes, it doesn't mean you're neglecting her in some way. At 4 years old, she would be dressing herself and trying to help you with the little ones. She would understand that Mommy is struggling and tired.

Light a candle for NL every day at home. Go when you can, I know how important and significant those visits are for you. Give yourself grace 👑

The clothes will never be a waste because they have helped you work through your loss and grieve in a lovely and peaceful way.

I got chills when you told the cat story. There’s no doubt in my mind that Noah Lee sent you that cat. Please give yourself some grace. Noah Lee is always in your mind and heart ❤ xx

That cat story is so special 🥰😍 Maybe the way you honour Noah-Lee is changing slightly but there's nothing wrong with that! I'm sure it'll change in lots of ways through your life and as your children get older they'll probably come up with their own ways for you to all honour her too, which I think will be so special 🥰 Every time you think about her you are letting her know you love her and she's in your thoughts ❤️ every time you give her siblings the same tender and loving care that you gave her, you are honouring her too, by caring for her most closest relations, whom she would love! You've always said she was a mama's girl, she grew inside you and from you once she was born and you fed her! She would want you to take care of yourself too because nobody wants to see their most loved ones struggling, so try and give yourself grace for you and Noah-Lee and Echo and Ever! ❤️ Sending you all so much love ❤️

The way you honor your daughter is so beautiful. I cry every time watching your videos in the best way, seeing the love you have for your baby girl and all your children ❤ thank you for sharing your life and continuing to make an impact in my life and others

Your emotional intelligence is commendable. You are amazing, you are enough. ❤❤

The cat story gave me goosebumps 🥰🥹 I believe the same as you. Continue doing the things you need to do, but don’t feel guilt if you aren’t able to. Noah-Lee was a special, intelligent and beautiful girl. She knows how you feel. I truly believe she does. Sending you love during this difficult time 🫂🤍

I know every time you post, I tell you how beautiful your children are, but I can’t help it. They are quite possibly the most beautiful children I’ve “ever” seen.

Noah lée is loved a lot whether you do anything specifically for her or not.... you are an amazing mother ❤

Noah-Lee is in your heart always. I think that Cat was a sign that showed you she is safe till you meet again ❤❤ your babies earth 🌎 side need you and you need them. You have alot going on. I worry about you with all the pain in your heart right now. Sending you big Loves and cuddles ❤❤

Please don't be too hard on yourself Judea, you're doing what you can. You have an awful lot on your plate right now. Sending big hugs from Spain to you, Brogan and your three beautiful children. xxx

My Dad lost his cat of 13 years recently, and said he would'nt adopt any others because she was the last cat that he and my Mom had before she passed from Alzheimers. Well, two weeks after Miss Kitty passed, a female feral cat showed up at the house and fell in love with Dad. She took up residence there so Dad took her to the vet to have vaccinations and be spayed, but found out she was already pregnant. So, now the man that wasn't going to adopt anymore cats has two housecats, Mama and her 8 week old baby. Both of them are devoted to Dad. ❤❤

Dressing baby Ever in her big sister Noah Lees' clothes is honouring Noah Lee. I think you are doing the best you can for everyone and when things aren't so crazy you can maybe start to do more for Noah Lee in different ways. You really need to look after yourself Judea. You are very important to your babies. Sending you big hugs and lots of love xxx

Your pain of not being able to honor Noah Lee the way you need to is very obvious. Judea give your self some grace. Noah Lee doesn't want her mommy to struggle. You have so much on you. Having 2 lil ones and being alone is a LOT. Be merciful and understanding with your self. The two babies on this earth need their momma. Noah Lee is in good hands while she waits to meet you all again. I know this is such a hard time. You honor your baby girl every single day in such a beautiful way. The love you have for her no one can ever take away and she knows that

I completely understand the need to hold onto Noah- Lee and include her within your day-to-day family life. It is decades since the passing of our beautiful son but I still remember him when I buy cute little Peter Rabbit clothes or items which I place with a few of his most precious baby clothes which I have wrapped in tissue paper in a drawer. It's my own way of remembering my child too. He lost his life to SUIDS. His name is Peter. Whatever you are going through needs no guilt, your precious Noah-Lee is with you always, safely tucked in your heart, so you need do nothing more than love her. Big hugs, Mummy.

Is so beautiful how you honour her memory ❤can’t imagine the pain

Wish I could take your pain away, even for a moment. The constant guilt of not doing enough to honor your angel baby is something I would also feel- it's so valid. As an outsider looking into your life, and knowing how well you honor Noah's memory and love her so fiercely every day in your heart, you are doing everything you can right now and that is enough

I understand every emotion you so earnestly convey. The desire to include her and the guilt when you can not all make perfect sense. You are doing everything right. You are a beautiful person.

I've been following you since your first video about Noah Lee and I just want to say you're a good mom who's doing the best she can!❤️ I pray God brings you peace.

She will always be in your heart forever ❤

Noah Lee understands and would not want you to be so upset she knows you love her and I believe she will try to make your life easier please give yourself grace to do what you can

Maybe you could do something meaningful at home for Noah Lee like light a candle or have a little night light/lamp/fairy lights in a jar….next to a picture that you can turn on in the mornings to honor her that’s in the center of the house so it’s close enough it doesn’t feel like it disrupts your day with Echo and Ever but it’s still something special just for her. I believe our passed love ones communicate with us if they want to and Noah Lee most definitely sent that cat to love on you when she saw that you needed the extra support for those days 🫶🏻

Noah Lee is always with you, whether you are near her grave or at home. She is always with you feeling your emotions. Don’t ever feel like you owe anyone an explanation for changes in your life. Life happens, we all go through seasons of life. You have so much on your plate and you have to do what is best for you❤️ There is so much love within your heart and all 3 of your babies know this.

Omg Ever is so adorable. All your babies have been beautiful but she's even more stunning. She looks like a perfect lil baby doll. ❤❤❤

Thank you for speaking - October is such a hard time for me as well. The loss anniversary of a child balanced with the birthday of my son. Your words resonate so much and I wish you peace and healing, as well as gratitude for sharing your story. Thinking of sweet angel baby Noah Lee 🌸 warm wishes to your family 🩷💙❤️

I really do love the way you talk about Noah Lee. The absolute pure love and adoration that you have for her, for all of your children, is truly palpable🤍🫶

You are just the most amazing Mama to all three of your gorgeous babies. I’m forever in awe how strong you’ve been throughout your loss. I love hearing you talk about Noah-Lee & the cat story gives me absolute goosebumps. I’ll always think of Noah-Lee when I see a rainbow. Sending so much love to you all 🤍

I love the story about the cat. It gave me goosebumps. Much love mama 💜

I can't imagine the struggle of fatigue and guilt to show Noah Lee love....I'm so sorry! I never lost a baby in the way you did, I had 3 miscarriages, and I still feel guilt for not honoring them in the same way i did at the beginning. I do have little loveys with their names on them and when I'm feeling sad i can snuggle them. Maybe having some cuddle and sleep time with something of Noah Lee's will help get you through this season of life. Im so sorry your sweet angel isn't in your arms here on earth. That is so unfair and so heartbreaking. No mother should ever have to lose their child. Im sorry you had to go through that❤❤❤❤

You are so brave to do what you need to do to grieve for/remember your oldest child

I think your heart and capacity for love is truly transcendental. Your love for all 3 your children shines through the screen all around the world. Truly beautiful.❤️

Love and Hugs to you Judea. You are doing the best you can. Noah Lee knows how very much you love her. You are an amazing mom to all 3 of your children. 💗💙💗

Omg the cat story!!!!! No seriously I was the same in the past who didn't believe in these things but when I opened up my heart after post natal depression I saw signs of my lost love one. I know that cat was connected to you for sure 😊

You are an AMAZING mom to all 3 of your babies! I cannot imagine what you’re going through, all while trying to sort out your feelings with a newborn and a toddler and separation. You are stronger than I am (and a lot of people), i really admire you. Hopefully you are either in counseling or you have family/friends that you can talk to….and if it helps you to record and talk to your channel, we’re all here for you! I think about you and your family a lot and i think you’re doing an outstanding job! We love you!! 💕💐🌻 🐈‍⬛🥰 Keep up the amazing job mom and please take care of yourself as well!

The cat sounds sent by Noah Lee. Please don’t feel guilty about having less time to dedicate to Noah Lee in this season of life. It’d be the same way if she were here (coming from an eldest daughter of 3) ❤️

Sending you, Noah Lee and your little ones love, Judea. 🤍🩵🩷

I agree with the other post that your pain is palpable. I will never pretend to know what losing a child could pssibly feel like but one thing I can say for certain is that it must be the worst grief anybody could ever go through. You poor thing. You have gone through hell and back. Never ever explain anything you do on here. ❤

I saw a woman make a special frame where she could swap her angel baby’s bows out daily! She could do special ones to match the family or holidays. It was so special 🤍

Oh my gosh, baby Ever is just the most beautiful little girl! Much love to you and your little ones, Judea 🥰

Judea, you're doing an amazing job! Just as the kids go through stages, you do and will too with the thoughts and things you do for each child! Your love and commitment to each child is there regardless of what you do for each separately! I'm sending you love and comfort this week and hope you know you too are loved by your followers and are cheering you on in these journeys!

The adjustment to what our babies need from us at stages changes and I think you experiencing that inner conflict about how you give time to just Noah-Lee looks different now for a would be 4 year old. The way your heart expands for all your babies through all your grief and own life experiences is a reflection on the incredible mother and women you are.

Noah Lee is loved every time you come here and talk to us about her ❤️ she is personally been in my mind ever since I saw your first video. When two years ago I had my little girl I often thought about Noah Lee whenever I was looking at her. Especially knowing you had lots of rainbows for Noah Lee things, and so did my baby since she is a rainbow baby. You made her presence been everywhere, in different places on hearth, in all our hearts ♥️ talking about her.

Dont feel guilty, your a wonderful mother to all your children. You said it best when you said about the "season" that you in. Seasons change , give yourself some grace.

In a lot of cultures cats are seen as communicators to the after life, protectors. Makes me think Noah Lee told that kitty all about you.

You’re a wonderful mother. I first watched you over 3 years ago. You didn’t have any of these little beautiful babies. The first video I watched was of Noah lee’s Loss. I am so sorry for what you suffer. I am so sorry that after all that you been through, 3 beautiful babies and you and your husband have broken up. I pray that god helps you. You’re doing great. Stay strong ❤

I think your angelbaby knows youre doing your absolute best!!!! ❤

Bless you she trying to tell you she around you all the time ❤

You are moving through your grief darling. You will never forget your Noah Lee but life goes on and there are two children who physically need you. Don’t waste your energy on beating yourself up…

Your children are so gloriously beautiful and sweet and cuddly! I love the way you love Noah-Lee, and I admire your efforts to continue making her a significant part of your every day. Blessings to your lovely family. ❤

Full body chills when you finished the cat story and said “it was just interesting”.

Its very sad to see I lost 10 babies in miscarriages and its not easy Women and especially moms go through so much pain when loosing a child life wont ever be the same

Ever has so much beautiful hair, she's just baby talking away! She is absolutely gorgeous like her Mama and Big Sister Noah Lee! 💞

The cat was definitely there for a reason and l think it's beautiful ❤ dont ever feel guilty, from what l see you are an incredible mum! You are a very real person anyone who watches you will see that. Noah Lee's love will forever shine through you ❤💞

You are an absolutely wonderful mother, Judea, to all three of your babies❤ be kind to yourself.

Oh my goodness shes beautiful 😊❤

I love how honest you are ! You are such a great mom ! I live in Germany , on the other side of the planet , and I’m thinking about Noah Lee very often ! ❤️❤️❤️ you are doing a great job !

Sending you love Judea. Be kind to yourself.

I lost my baby girl (SIDS) over 30 years ago. It never goes away missing her. You just learn to live in a different way.

Your such an amazing mum i know tga traffic is hectic and for you to make the time to go see your baby gurl is amazing considering you have the 2 at home and doing it alot by your self your an amazing mum ❤

My heart is with you and your beautiful family ❤❤

Insensitive, rude and disrespectful people in the comments in 3, 2, 1... If you feel that urge to say something obnoxious & hurtful to Judea, Can you just not?

You are an amazing mom and you have to give yourself more grace. You are going through something so challenging and you also just gave birth. You are in a delicate place and you cannot let those feelings get to you. Your babies need you here and you have to remember that. You have so much life in front of you. It's ok to feel how you do but don't stand in those emotions. Keep moving and stay focused. Nothing you do can change the past but your actions today can change your future. You are so worthy of happiness and of better days. I pray that God brings you peace and holds you close. God is closer to the ones that grieve.

Your babies always have the most beautiful hair 😍

Your human, enjoy your babies they need you, hugs

You're an incredible Mum to your 3 children ❤

I love that the sweet cat clung to you. She was definitely a sign from Noah Lee ❤wow! 😊 No doubt in my mind 🤍 there are no coincidences ✨

I’m sending you & Noah allllll of my love

Sending you so much love from England ❤️

That’s a lovely tribute to Noah dressing Ever in her big sissy’s outfits xo

Thank you for sharing with us ❤ I love listening to your thoughts and holding space for you. Thinking of Noah-Lee always always 🤍🤍🤍

Of course those feelings would be hard! But if you were taking care of three kids, you wouldn't be able to make the trip either 🩷 She knows that I think!

It’s all going to be okay ❤ people change with different seasons of life and it will never change the love you have for Noah. You could light a candle and or even go every second day instead of every day or whatever will work for you

My heart hurts so much for you while you are trying to navigate all that you are. Chin up girl xo

Only you can understand why , how and what it means to mourn, honor, keep your daughter's memory alive...do not feel guilty, find a new way perhaps of keeping her in your day ...maybe a little Post it note writing about your love, maybe carry a locket with her picture and kiss it as many time in the day you need to. No one can tell you when to stop mourning because only you have felt this loss .. much love to you❤

I think Michel Odent said that cats are the best midwives. They are silently caring, watching and intuitive. Surely it tried to protect you and be there for you. 💕

hearing the sadness in your voice just makes me so sad for you. It must be hard but maybe putting the clothes on Ever is still a way to remember Noah lee and make it for her. You are in a hard phase of life with a toddler and a newborn! You also have to make yourself a priority with sleep and food! Noah lee will always be in your thoughts and one day it will get easier to make these visits again a priority. That cat was definitely a sign! ❤❤❤

This is a busy season for you. It’s hard to do much extra. But you can always do more later. Noah Lee is honored by your motherhood.

I’ve had my own experience with an animal and a deceased family member. The chances of it being coincidence is unbelievable to me❤️

You will be able to have your time with your darling Noah Lee in the future. You are having a rough time at life now, recently separated, new baby, toddler those won’t be A stress on you forever. I love your cat story. I remember the black cat in your video way back when it’s funny the cat senses you needing it at the time. Hang in there life will be different next year. Just do what you can now! Don’t feel guilty.

I don’t think Noah Lee sent the cat I read if a black cat comes around you at a graveyard then your loved ones spirit has gone inside of that cat so that’s why the cat loved you all and was so obsessed with you I believe her spirit went into that cat and it’s amazing you took the cat back because she’s back at rest🥹💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

You looking after your family and yourself is looking after Noah-Lee. It may not be the perfect way in your mind but it’s the best way in your life and where you are at. When you are thinking about Noah-Lee you are giving her your time, energy and love. 🧡 Give yourself grace as you’re others two babies need you also. Maybe showing them the photos of Noah-Lee and talking about her to them or making a food you want want her to try but also feeds you and your babies at the time is a habit that is practical and thoughtful you could create throughout the week so you don’t feel You have to remember her by yourself as they are a part you and Noah-Lee as much as she is a part of them and you 🫶🏼🙏🏼

i know others are gonna offer advice... i just wish peace for you. give yourself some credit for being a great mom to ALL your kids. but like you said.. this season of your life has to be on the kids that need you the most. you will always have mom guilt. the best moms always do. and please remember ... you just gave birth your hormones are all over the place. you are dealing with so much from different areas of your life.. separation.. death.. birth ... and an active toddler. give yourself a break. you deserve one.

Judea, you are only 1 person and there are only so many wake hours during each day. I feel that you are doing the best with what time that you have. Maybe reading a story to the children everyday at some point even if they are in bed, together or alone, it can be a story for Noah-Lee to hear her mommys voice.

Judea, I discovered your channel before you were pregnant with Echo. I've thought of Noah-Lee every single day since that day. Thinking of you from the UK. 🤍🤎💗

Beautiful…always…💔

ever is the cutest name!!!!

We think of tou all the time too Noah-Lee! ❤

I think if you are taking a moment in the day to think of Noah, you are making the effort. And I don't think it means you are not being there for her. All moms have mom guilt about sharing time with our babies, but sometimes one needs more than the others. You're doing great. You're a fantastic mom❤

Na that cat was sent to you by baby girl

the day my 12 day young son Oakley Jonah, passed in his sleep I tell myself that's the day he got to meet Jesus. He was too perfect for this world, and when I get there I like to think I'll have a newborn for eternity. Although, it doesn't take away that pain for void, I still find some sort of awareness that its not forever. I got him for 9 months inside of me, and 12 beautiful days in my arms. It did help already having 3 babies and then 2 more after him. It made me not dwell in my grievance bc I had to care for the other babies. It is also coming up on his birthday and death day as well.

I just came across your channel, want to say that im sorry you had a loss of a baby and now you also a lonely mom. I believe you will see ans feel the purpuse of these challenges very soon, and your tears will be gone forever. Just one thing i dont think helps you - is to change outfits for the gone baby. Its a different type of connection, fake connection in your case, which isnt helping to let go and realise that baby is on a cloud and she doesnt need those clothes to be changed, its you who need it. I think it would be more logical and helpful just to have a plant in the house or outside for her name, water it, clean it, just have it around. But its my opinion, whatever works for you and whatever your psychologist is aggree with. ❤

My waters broke early at 34 weeks.. the morning I was going to be discharged at the hospital a cat jumped through my window and was very affectionate. The nurse said that's the hospital cat Daisy.. I said.. is she here to tell me my baby is on his way.. I had him 2 hours later 😂

Everyone grieves totally different.you don't anyone an explanation. Mum she knows you love her and baby girl needs you strong fir her siblings

Maybe you could honour Noah in different ways. Its very understandable that your life has changed and you may not be able to do the things you used to. What about a family picnic in Noahs house with Echo and Ever? Or a little movie session in the house so you dont have to leave in a rush. Or burn a candle at home under a picture of Noah. Take care of yourself your doing great honestly xxx

Your eyes and smile and energy brighten up when you were talking about the cat, I honestly believe she sent you the cat ❤ mum guilt is the worst ever life is about change nothing stays the same lovely have you thought about writing her letters in a journal at night when everyone is asleep yours and her special time biggest hugs ever love I think of you often xx I live in the Bush in the Hokianga with my 8 year old in a hut I think of Noah Lee xx

I believe if you set out with the intention of honoring Noah Lee when you dress Ever that would help. Even if you tell Ever as you are dressing her “this outfit is from your beautiful sister “. I had 3 kids in 4 years and that was hard. I cannot imagine having lost one of them. Sending Love your way you sweetheart. You are a lovely person and Mum. I believe Noah would love that. But that’s just my thoughts as a grandma. I have not lost a child so I cannot even imagine how I would have coped. But I believe you are a fantastic Mom. Do what you feel is right, no judgement. I’m just proud of the Mum you are. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Noah would not judge you is what I believe. She knows you think of her so often. 🥰

The cat story💕

Ever is beautiful