The Witness & Bombshell (Zero Punctuation) 

"I'm more of a junior jumble man myself" Nyeh heh heh.

Would've been funny if Yahtzee actually got to the end, stepped into the magical elevator and... erm, spoiler alert. Got transported all the way back to the very beginning and seeing all his puzzles undone.

I wish that in the Witness, instead of the solved puzzles staying put, maybe they magically turned into another part of the environment (ie, the bridges becoming actual bridges instead of flattened puzzles forming a path across, podiums turning into small trees or weathered statues). Would've made completing everything a kind of magical immersive experience, without needing any story behind why.

I wonder how quick the Escapist would fall apart if Yahtzee would leave.

"positive role model for young women with grenade lunchers" made my day

"The weapon upgrades are less significant than a pubic louse in cancer ward" - Yahztees best line to date

I live a meaningless, empty life day in and day out, curled up in the fetal position in a corner. But then, once a week, a light comes to me, it speaks to me in a sarcastic, disinterested tone and I feel. My life is given meaning for five glorious minutes. Then, the light fades away, and I resume my life as a meaningless sack of flesh.

The Witness certainly could use some ambient music. The ONLY music in the game is during a totally optional challenge area. You pop down a record player's needle, the record plays some classical music, which is the timer for solving a series of totally random puzzles (the themes are the same in each set, but the puzzles are themselves randomized). There are two pieces of music (the first one escapes me), and the second is "In the Hall of the Mountain King," which is being used here as the warning that your time is running out. It does make the puzzle solving a bit more tense, because as the music starts to speed up, you start to panic a bit. I've gotten through the challenge twice, but that's because I enjoy brain teaser puzzles. It's not for everyone, but I think it's good.

Honestly, your reviews are not only incredibly in-depth and laden with good points, they're also hilarious. So much snark. So little time.

"The P.M.S" lmao wtf were they thinking?

He's been waiting to use that opening joke since he reviewed Braid.

It’s funny to see how far along Bombshell came by downgrading like crazy to the Build engine and actually taking time to make a fun game

These are the prime example of 5 min videos that eat your whole day away in laughter

There's actually a ton of environmental puzzles in the Witness, however the're all optional and easy to miss. Also, while I enjoyed the game, all his criticisms of it are fair =)

Ending all gender politics debates in the comments section by adding a subtle Undertale reference. This man js a GENIUS.

“Congrats on getting through that bowl of dog food player. Here’s your reward, another helping of dog food.”

damn I remember in the Braid review he lamented that Braid was actually pretty good because he wanted to make a pun on Johnathan Blow's name, he'd been holding onto that one for a while lmao

I love this. Jonathan Blow is a hack.

Didn't bombshell start as a duke nukem game before they lost the IP?

Junior Jumble? That's for baby bones!

I knew yahtzee wouldn't let me down on The Witness. I feel like the puzzles in that game should be in a paperback book sitting on the coffee table next to some crosswords and sudoku puzzles. They're mostly fine puzzles, they just don't feel like enough to carry a game, or even tie into the abandoned amusement park island. The best you get are "overlays" hidden somewhere nearby the puzzles, which are not at all hinted at and you have to know that the reason you're getting the puzzle wrong is because of a hidden element you have to go find. Pretty much turns half the game into a hidden object game. Playing through the game, I thought most of the puzzles were just a matter of sussing out the more or less irrelevant rules and only a few really required thought to puzzle out the elements. Those few puzzles I enjoyed. But most of them I found to be a nuisance of guesswork.

The inside of the mountain I've heard is the best part of the game. They start switching up stuff pretty hard in there.

Yahtzee rather-stealthily lifted a line from an old Penny Arcade comic there - "bubbles with non-specific rage" vs "smoulders with generic rage" from a strip about Prince of Persia 2.

"Twat-finder General" Wonderful. Don't mind me, just pocketing that one real quick

The further forward you go, the further back the fun is found.

Turns out Bombshell was supposed to be a Duke Nukem game...except 3D Realms sold the Duke Nukem IP to Gearbox back in 2010. Gearbox sued, 3D Realms changed the game to not include Duke Nukem. Bombshell has a sequel now. It's an FPS in the Build engine called Ion Fury. They were going to call it Ion Maiden, but the band Iron Maiden sued them. At this point the lawsuit is still ongoing, but they changed the name and released the game anyway.

Less significant than a public louse in a cancer ward. Truly he is a master of his craft.

The picture of Freud fucking killed me. :D great work as always.

Looks like Yahtzee joined the club of finding the way to the secret ending in the Witness SO easily that he didn't even notice it WAS the secret ending.

Nothing like a gender swapped Achilles for a protagonist.

Damn this is one of the most cynical reviewers I've ever seen. I like it.

Sounds like Yahtzee ALMOST got laughing at the space-bar bit :D

Not gonna argue with the Witness critique, because it's definitely not a game for everybody. Did make me chuckle when he complained that the puzzles are disconnected from the pretty environment, though. Honestly I've never seen a game where the puzzles and the environment were so closely intertwined.

Yeah, I agree with Yahtzee on the Witness as far as the mountain went. I had lots of fun figuring out all of the puzzles on the island in that sort of Eureka I just remembered where I put my keys last night kind of way and felt super proud of every one that I correctly solved because I enjoy that sort of thing but when I was presented with more of the same puzzles in the moment that I was going to be told why the hell all the people on the island mysteriously turned to stone and instead was greeted by more of the same albeit harder puzzles I lost interest and went to bed, only to solve a couple of those puzzles in my sleep, as you do, which only led me to even more frustrating puzzles and no answers and I haven't really played the game since even thought I would like to finish it. It's a game made specifically for the kind of people who enjoy the thrill of figuring out a puzzle and then solving it and it's pretty unashamed in that sense so anyone who says it's really good or really bad, take with a grain of salt because it is a very specific genre that appeals quite a bit to some people and very little to others. To counteract one point the good old Yahtzee made, part of the fun (for the puzzle solver type) is figuring out what rule needs to be followed in order to solve the puzzle, and I think they did a pretty good job of giving very easy tutorial like puzzles at the beginning of an area to let you in on the mechanic before giving you any actual puzzles to solve with said mechanic.

I would argue that The Witness sells to the same crowd as the Irish Adventure puzzle series. You get a puzzle with little to no explanation as to how it works and when you solve it it simply opens the door to more puzzles of increasing difficulty. No story, no music, just puzzle. This is a very, very niche crowd, but it was super well designed for that type of person. Sean Plott is one of these people, and as it happens he loved this game. So did I. I don't think it's too objective to say it was absolutely boring when there was a lot of really interesting design choices made with this kind of person in mind. That being said, this is a comedy channel and I'm pretty sure the only game Yahtzee hasn't shit on is Portal, so I'm not even mad. XD

I am happy the stock image he used was a CNC control panel at 5:20

0:50 is a very apt metaphor to express why i never finished spec ops the line

Fom a conventional writing perspective, every detail in a story should be there for at least 2 reasons that do something,, from the following list (in no particular order) 1. Set the scene (ie, characterizing the environment that the scene takes place in) 2. Characterize the person doing the describing. (ie, what they notice, and how they describe it to themselves.) 3. remind the audience of something 4. Foreshadow 5. support the theme 6. Symbolize 7...And a few other things, which I can't immediately recall from my writing classes. If you don't do at least two things, then the detail usually feels flat. It's the difference between A. "There was a black man at the door." B. "My homie JayBoy showed up at my crib." C. "Master Joseph rung my doorbell at noon sharp." Same number of words in each line, but the first is a flat description of scene, while the second and third describe the scene, characterizes the narrators, and suggest the social relationship between the narrator and the person at the door. Gender almost always is easily a part of #1: it sets the scene as a concrete detail. Which is fine: pretty much every character (with certain exceptions) in a scene has a gender that is usually easily definable, and so it's as necessary to describe the physical environment as is height, weight, hair color, and so on. The second easy thing most (written) stories can use gender for is to characterize the narrator (ie, the way the narrator thinks of women by how they describe them.) For video games, that sort of perspective part is kind of hard, as video games are usually done in an over-the-shoulder, 3rd person limited omniscient view; thus, the player/audience gets something of a 'neutral' perspective of the scene. (Hotline Miami being an interesting exception, as I believe it implies that the PoV character is on drugs. Similarly, the Arkham Asylum scenes where Batman has been hit by the Scarecrow's fear toxin is a basic example of a PoV character with a definite bias to his perceptions.) As such, for most games, the only other easy thing to do is to characterize the woman herself - that is, to use it as an intrinsic part of the backstory that defines the character. (note that this is an issue with visual mediums in general, not just video games. But for movies and plays, you have an actor that is trained to communicate that sort of subtext using visual and auditory cues, so it's a bit easier to do.) And that's an issue in Bombshell - her gender doesn't seem to be relevant, aside from an occasional allegedly witty one-liner or visual gag. As such, it ends up feeling flat and unimportant, which leads us into the next point: Flat and unimportant details is either a sign of bad writing, or it's a sign he writer is inadvertently communicating something they didn't mean to. For example, if an author keeps on describing a character as "black", but doesn't seem to do anything with it - they are either just being an inexperienced writer, or they think they ARE communicating something, such as the likelihood of the character enjoying rap music and having a criminal record (or whatever vision of 'blackness' the author has in mind.) And yes - this is very often implicit bigotry, as the author has a vision of race/gender/politics (or whatever) that they assume is so obvious that they don't need to explicitly state it. Getting back to Bombshell - in this example, it's entirely likely that the addition of gender is just flat - they chose a gender, and it doesn't matter. (EDIT - yet they seem to keep reminding the player of it on a regular basis.) However, by doing so, and then not doing anything with it, is likely both an example of bad writing, and mildly sexist "I don't know what to do with this detail, so I'll go over the top and make her exactly like a an uninteresting male protagonist, only with breasts, and then call it a wrap." And in sort of a twisted way, that would be fine...had they actually done something with the idea that it didn't matter. Asking and examining the question "does sex and gender matter in this scenario - and if so, why?" is pretty much what modern mainstream Feminist Theory is about. For example - comparing and contrasting her behavior with a more realistic version of a woman; or having a man that took the role of the stereotypical love interest, and had him do all the (stereotypically female) role in the game. Then having some sort of in-game discussion or examination to see what happens and what the consequences would be of that. Or maybe even a deconstruction of the typical action hero as a male power fantasy, and contrasting that with a female power fantasy might look like. Or even going with the very idea of action hero as patriarchal construct, or whatever. Note that I wouldn't necessarily agree with any of the tentative conclusions one might draw from this (after all, it's just a hypothetical video game that I'm imagining), but I would certainly be WAY more interested in something like that, then what Yahtzee apparently reviewed. As it is? It just Just really bad writing, and probably a bit of implicit (or not so implicit) sexism of the "I don't know what to do with this detail, other than turn it into softcore fanservice" sort of thing.

Oh yeah, the Witness didn't have music... I didn't even notice. Personally I think having one or two tracks that looped would have just driven me insane and I'd have turned it off anyway.

"Wait, a ZP I haven't watched yet?" I'm always randomly clicking those videos in the hopes of seeing something I missed. Then I realized it came out exactly now.

Frankly I find Portal had the best female protagonist. She never spoke and she never did anything without the approval of the man in her life, namely myself.

When i saw the name i thought it was about a game whose story involves a witness to a crime and a loose cannon cop called Bombshell

This is still one of my favorite Fully Ramblomatic episodes for me.

Regarding "The Witness", I must say that in retrospect I immensely enjoy the colossal misfire of the "puzzles do not integrate with the environment at all" statement. :P

"the puzzles don't integrate with the environment at all" missed the entire part of the game where the environment is the puzzle

I got the Witness because I liked the idea of a game where there's only cereal box puzzles. I started hating the game 30 minutes in.

Myst works because the puzzles are varied and the walking serves to connect pieces of the puzzles. The Witness should take notes.

5:30 Sounds like the sort of boss monster Steven Joyce would love to fight.

the moment he said that the puzzles don't blend into the enviroment i laughed out loud. such irony

Lol, you so nailed the Witness. I like the game, but all it is justified. And BTW, *NO, there is no story at the end, and NOTHING to tight it all together* (Yes I know the secret ending. No, It does not help)

Seriously, one of your best reviews ever? Fucking hilarious through and through.

I thought I was alone on the witness, my enjoyment with the game was on a steady decline the more I went on. It's just not fun or fulfilling. And just like yahtzee, as soon as I saw one more fucking puzzle inside the mountain I shut the game off and have not gone back.

Did any of you catch the secret third ending involving Rich Evan's pee?

i got here quick. wait. undertale references already?

1:29 Substitute 'water effects' for 'laurels' and Yahtzee suddenly sounds like the Knights of Ni

Straight and honest!.....thanks for your review sir!!!

30+ years playing games, and The Witness is in my top 10. I absolutely loved every second of it.

But the environments DO come into play with puzzles! THERE ARE PUZZLES THAT ARE FUCKING AWESOME IN THE LANDSCAPE!!! Plus it doesn't NEED to explain the puzzles directly cause it takes like 5 seconds to figure out the theme.

I do so miss the little quips he would put into the credits and the funny five frame, text-free comic that they would overlay. I wonder if the videos on escapist's website still have those... or do they just embed youtube videos like everyone else does now?

This is the best review Yahtzee has done in months. I can't stop rewatching.

in "The Witness" maybe he could have made the puzzles be in the landscape and such, so you would have to look at the wilderness to find a pattern of sorts?

1:32 - "The trouble is that most of the puzzles don't integrate with the lovely environments at all." Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahahaha... I'm very disappointed that Yahtzee missed out on over a quarter of the puzzles in the game.

The opening joke gets me every time dude!

"Peachy fucking keen!" best line of the video

"personally I am more of a junior jumble man" Isn't that an undertale quote?

A new Zero Punctuation?! 26 minutes ago?!?!?! HUZZAH

Did anyone read that "I like Virginia Woolf" line with a bit of a metal scream-y voice?

The revolver in bombshell is awesome looking though.

But "The puzzles don't integrate with the lovely environment" .... It's wrong. This game truly starts when you get +1 on your save file.

Yeah, The Witness isn't for everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed it because I like solving puzzles without reason. I also really enjoy playing Portal 2 community chambers.

That obnoxious laugh is the best laugh I've heard in years.

sex and the city dvds. gold. pure gold man.

The Witness must be the first game Yhatzee and I disagree about. Bummer it didn't click with him, because it sure as hell did with me. It shouldn't work on paper, but it does beautifully.

"The puzzles don't integrate with the lovely environment"... Ummm

4:15 - Fucks sakes, nobody remembers Duke's Major being a clone of Duke.

So I just started playing this game with Epic's free giveaway. I started out thinking the game was ok. But then I found the environmental puzzles and fell in love. Yahtzee doesn't mention them, and they aren't required to finish the game, so I'm not sure he actually found them. They completely turn reality on its head.

Bombshell would make a fun Let's Drown Out episode.

Junior Jumble master race

Cant believe bombshell got a kickass sequel on the build engine

The last time I came this early I meme'd all over the place. Damn it, I'm doing it again.

Holy crap, it's like they made Duke Nukem with a female character.

2:03 Wondering now if "twat-finder General" is a minor reference to Monkey Dust

Yahtzee: Connoisseur of "water effects."

that sigmund froid reference was glorious

It's funny how his description of bombshell can be applied to any movie with a female lead in the last couple of years...

The thing about The Witness is I will say it is a great puzzle game. Some of the environmental solutions gave me a "oh I get it" kind of moment. But when the game started throwing the black and white squares and tetris pieces at me I found the game began to forget its own rules. I think a puzzle game you pay $40 for should not be narrow-minded to say "those lines you drew fit the rules of the game, but it isn't what Jonathan Blow/Jesus Christ thought it would be." All in all it was a great premise, had some good mystery to the marketing, had good ideas, but ultimately fell flat on its face.

I can already see Firewatch being one of the next games he'll talk about.

The spacebar bit was classic.

"Made by Jonathan Blow. Ironically, it sucks." Or fittingly, it blows.

1:30 Puzzles dont integrate with the inviroment?... He hasnt fount the collectibles has he? they are wonderfull and very clever.

I loved The Witness but this review is fantastic.

I greatly enjoyed when he said "peachy fucking keen".

Last time i came this early....kidding im a virgin

To watch a pretty enviroment, I would go take a walk. Haven't find a single walking simulator that I like.

the salt was real this week. I LOVE IT

Junior Jumble? That easy peasy word scramble? That's for baby bones.

The Witness is one of the most anti-game video games of all time. And by that I mean it gives no reward to the player, and the further you delve into the game, the more you regret trying to proceed. It's extremely boring and lifeless, nothing stands out about it. Everything about it is just awful

'puzzles don't integrate with the world' that's actually just wrong

Had to google PMS, now I'm dying on Yahtzee's joke.

I do agree with many negative reviewers of The Witness, it's really an empty island with puzzles upon more puzzles of the same kind (which also change based on new rules or the environment) and almost no reward. Also there is no music and I found the character movement really slow (it's like you are stuck in honey). Yet again, I started playing it thinking I will not like and strangely the game really grabbed my attention. I have played Talos Principle before which I loved. The Witness is bad compared to Talos Principle, although some of it's puzzle are more sophisticated. In Talos Principle the puzzle are all around your space, not just concentrated on a board. There is amazing music, it's a really emotional experience. All the computer messages, contemplations about consciousness, AI, life, history and everything, it really blends well as a puzzler with a story. The Witness lacks a lot of these elements, although maybe the choice to not have music caught with me. You really feel the loneliness of the island. I am not sure. I know that Talos Principle is my favorite game of 2015. Compared to that, The Witness is nothing, yet it also managed to keep me interested, despite it's (intentional?) flaws. Many times in his speech, Jonathan says games are not about fun necessarily. I guess he kept that concept in this game, he did the game he wanted to do despite this being counterintuitive about what game design should be. I am wondering if he does intentionally some things to piss of players or if it's his twisted vision of what a good game should be. I mean, I did like The Witness strangely enough, but I get it's totally not fun.