THE WORST MOVIE WE'VE EVER REVIEWED! | The Book Was Better: New Moon Review Part 3 

not to mention, the poor guy was still underaged when filming began! A kid was expected to reach body-builder status, while the older actor (with an adult musculature) got the make-up treatment.

And look at the other werewolves they aren't nearly as muscular and still way bigger in their animal form?

I mean?? Edward had one shirtless scene that was full frontal meaning no body double potential. Jacob was playing a werewolf character meant to be large and muscular and constantly shirtless.

Its like life imitates trash. Jacob was relegated to piece of shit and Edward to white knight. Taylor was expected to make himself perfect for the role and Robert gets a bit of paint.

And I hear now he is overweight. Clearly this fucked up his self-image. Meanwhile, Robert Patterson is allowed to just pretend he wasn't apart of all this.

Well, fortunately, the video game "Vampyr" would come along later to make far better use out of the idea regarding a vampire doctor. :)

I know this is a month old, but maybe Vampire : The Masquerade could interest you. It's a D&D, but many books and even a videogame exist about it (although unfortunately the game was rushed out too early by Activision and therefore needs patches from the fans to even work, it has a huge following because everything that is in the game is great). It has tons of worldbuilding and the main point is all vampire politics, with its own historic events and everything. Plus you can probably find a few Discords even nowadays that still play the actual D&D, so you can make your own story and characters :)

@@cartooncritique6625 it would be, if vampyr's gameplay wasnt a pile of shit

@@OutrightRegent4 i feel like Vampyr was a story driven game. The game play really wasn't the focal point to me. Was still interesting to play through personally though! If the story was shit, I woulda been mad.

Intricate vampire politics...what like Castlevania the anime?

She even brings conflict and calamity.

And the whole “extra special blood” thing

Also the fact that she has psychic abilities before turning into a vampire, which can also be seen as her turning into a different demon

The beautiful potential-lost!

I want to read this book so bad!!!

Hi even farther in the future, this isn't even the worst part, it gets much worst, with the third onision novel and Empress teressa

Also Maybe world war 3

@@wolftitanreading5308 not yet Germany hasn't done anything to start WW3

And Empress Theresa

im from the past and youre saying the “I’m a banana” guy makes a book

But twillight new moon was pretty popular in East Asia.

Read domestic girlfriend manga

The Pondering Critic my only guess on why it was popular was 1. The “demographic” for the book was literally the only demographic living there. 2. It was just the demographic blindly watching the movie a bunch of times to make it look good (as well as the one kind of hater who foolishly wastes money to see what they know they will hate and thus contributing to its financial success) or 3. They are so sheltered from movies or are not allowed to see so much that this looks like a masterpiece

Well I’m sure love triangles can be done right

I can only really stand love triangles when they have more of a friendly dynamic or something. When it gets too spicy, I just find myself getting tired out.

HE WAS HOW OLD??? oh no

mmmhhm It’s a shame because six packs are actually a turn off for me 😔

I understand fitting the part for certain roles, but 15 is ridiculous! And technically not even necessary for the character, because they already SHAPESHIFT!

Yeah we talk about how Disney destroyed Miley Cyrus, but we don't hear about Twilight destroying Taylor Lautner.

@@dewdrops8831 Yes. Yes it is. Remember the 12 year old body builder that had 2% body fat? Yeah doctors told his parents that they really shouldn't do that. And that them starting to train his five year old sister was hella not okay.

His name is Tyler Tyler Crowly

or team buffy too XD or team vanhelsing

Who are the winchesters?

Or Shrieve in Flashpoint.

@@PropagandaDS brothers sam and dean winchesters are the main protagonists of supernatural. they dedicate to drive from one place to another around america hunting down all kind of monsters.

MrQuickshot117 While we are on this subject. I still wish that Alucard, Seras and Anderson would come in and kill the lot of them.

So i'm not the only one who wanted this to turn into a bloodbath, SWEET.

@@ph89787 Let's be real... technically; they did in the first episode of that Abridged Series. ^^

I'm still not convinced that thay arent just blood sucking demon fairy is unseeli

@@ph89787 don't forget Blade

Damn, that part where Adam Sandler takes shots on this movie is so on point, it could euthanize a wolf out of its misery.

i mean there's actually a mention of Alice translating the national anthem to arabic in her head just because she's hiding something from Edward so...

I love that line in Hotel Transylvania. It's to funny.

I’m team Mustache Dad. Those filthy Team Van supporters can rot in hell.

Being around teenagers all year round he must read a lot of dirty fantasies and a lot of stupid drama. No wonder he went mad and fell in love with the one teen whose mind he could not read.

Actually, no, the line is "Aro laughed. "Ha ha" he giggled." So it's actually *triply* redudent.

Fuck you Aro is the best character. It's like he's permanently high off his gourd.

It's amazing how well Stewart can act if she wants to... :)

Kristen stewart was actually nominated for a Razzie Redeemer Award (an award given for people previously in awful movies who have moved on to better movies) for going from Twilight to Camp X-Ray

Please I watched the Snow White movie, she's terrible in it. The final scene is so awkward, like there's a speech missing or something. It's just her standing awkwardly in front of a crowd for idk, 50 years? (it felt like it watching it). For the rest, she's just Bella 2.0 (incluuuuuuding the love triangle smh). I've never seen a movie where she's good...

@@MARYWTHER try watching the movie Speak based on the book. She did this movie before twilight.

I know, right?! Anna Kendrick was so much better in the Pitch Perfect movie trilogy than she was in these god-awful movies.

I think Harry Dresden would be enough lol.

You’re basically just repeating what Krim said in his last Twilight video.

@@some_metalhead It’s a pretty popular story idea by many people (there is a screenshot of a Tumblr thread, I believe. If you watch his Twilight review at that point and pause, you can read it there). But yeah, I don’t take any credit for it, I just think it’s a great idea that deserves to be known, and I was happy to see Krimson mention it.

Yeah, Charlie should be the main protagonist like hunting down vampires while jugging with try to connect with his distant daughter who happens to fall in love with Edwin.

It's time to stop!

Jacob should have transformed into a werewolf at that exact moment

MikuJonghyunAiyaUeana feels like the author projecting her own experience with a loser “one that got away” and a beta orbiter

She should have gotten together with Alice, thank you for coming to my TED talk

@@dorcat2867mmmm for that to work you’d have to rewrite a lot of stuff😅 plus isn’t Alice the sister of Edward?😳

Lisa Plambeck aro can also see all the thoughts a person has ever had once he touches them

Yup, Aro was the only one good thing that the movies had for one to look for. Sadly he was so little in the movies, and couldn't save them from being totale garbage with his goofiness.

Twilight would have been a much better series if they focused on the Volturi and their backstory.

@@madalynpatton3460 Twilight would had been a masterpiece if it actually was about Charlie hunting down the Cullens and the werewolves.

Which ones aro again?

And you can just develop Jacob like a human, going from a possessive, demanding douche, into someone passionate but understanding, realising that Bella needs her space.

@@hkazu63 And that too. I mean, he's still a teenager and has ample time to grow into a better person, becoming more understanding of Bella.

I would just like to point out that there is no time frame that it takes to get over someone because no person is the same. The same way Bella hadn't moved on from Edward after a year..... Jacob hadn't even after Bella got married. I won't deny their chemistry and that she played him, but he kept trying to tear down her valid feelings while knowing that she was never going to give him the chance he could've gotten. It was just cringy, really, how it all played out. I'm not on a team because they were both pretty awful in their own ways.

@@thxwanderer Thing is that unless a person has other problems in their life, dated the person for a very long time (like a few years) or have a preexisting mental disorder like depression, people usually move on from breakups relatively fast for the most part. Bella is none of those things, so her being stuck on the same guy a year after he left, despite dating him for a month, is very unrealistic in that regard. Hell, I usually move on from relationships that lasted long as Bella and Edwards in a matter of a couple days. Shows how much Meyer has absolutely no understanding how real relationships work and loves playing up melodrama. On top of that, she used him as a rebound to get over a break up and to validate her own self worth, despite fucking knowing what she was doing the whole time. While that sort of thing happens, it's still a very shitty thing for her to do. The story should've called her out for it at the very least. Better yet, had consequences for her actions like having Jacob never speak to her again and the relationship with the werewolves be pretty much over. (To be fair, Jacob should've been called out for it too, because he was being a dick as well.) As for the relationship itself, if it wasn't for Jacob acting like a jerk and being a overly demanding douche, I still think it would've been the better endgame pairing. If Jacob and Bella got together, it would send the message that even if your heart is broken, you can move on with your life and leave your ex in the dust (where Edward belonged). Frankly, Jacob is just a better written character then Edward. If the book was more realistic, Bella's relationship with Edward wouldn't have lasted long anyways due to them having nothing in common and him being a borderline abusive boyfriend. While I hate SJM's books, one thing I do give her credit for is making the heroine have multiple love interests throughout the book series and have her move on with her life after a break up. Because that is what happens in real life. People never marry their first loves and they never work out. Instead people marry those who they have a strong bond and connection with. Jacob could fit that bill at least for a while. (Since, to be honest, I'm not sure if it would've worked out in the long run.) You can just develop Jacob like a human, going from a possessive, demanding douche, into someone passionate but understanding, realising that Bella needs her space. Instead, it comes across as Bella leading him on and holding out hope for her ex, despite them never being able to get back together if this was real life, and Jacob being equally as much of a jerk. What a waste.

Edward IS abusive. It's just a telling sign of our times that his actions, originally thanks to this book and then Fifty Shades, have been normalized and are minor compared to worse abusers. So now he seems almost kind in comparison instead of a possessive shitbag.

They did my boy michael sheen so dirty

​@Sam 'The Book Boy' Robert Patterson too. He's the first one to mock Twilight. He's a great actor in Harry Potter and in other indie movies. But people are now hating him for being cast in that new Batman movie because he was Edward in Twilight...despite Heath Ledger being in A Knight's Tale before becoming the Joker. God, I feel so bad for him.

At least they got paid to hate it...

Shae Stroup like ghouls

In Buffy Spike still ate food. At one point he ate Weetabix crushed in blood to give it texture.

@@Xehanort10 Wait the Weetabix and milk meme goes back that far?

@@blackknightjack3850 I think so.

@@Xehanort10 it was disgustingly funny XD also that one time he asked to get one of willow's homemade cookies , spike was a great character, buffy was a great show. on the being able to eat human food,i particularly like damon's explanation in tvd , he says that as far as vampires drink human blood their body works almost normally, allowing them to eat normal food ( that even if its not nutritive for them, tastes good and helps fool their hunger for blood), it is also said in the show that their hearts have a beat and they bleed and their bodies feel warm because they can like absorb the blood they drink to their circulatory system, that way they look completely normal to humans and that helps them being a perfect predator( this explanation actually might be the only one or one of the very few that gives a good excuse of how vampires can have sex, as in how can they have erections) it they stop drinking blood for a long period of time they start to disicate until they are left like mummies.

It's a hell of a lot better than what the book did. I appreciate the director's approach to a non climactic ending.

As a writer, I found the books entertaining in a mindless way... WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER! Now, I hate this series... but have all the movies for mindless background noise. They were given to me... and I sold the books.

It's done bad in both versions. In the book it seems like it'll be a big fight then they just talk to each other and go. And in the film it's just a vision of a fight that might have happened. I'm still convinced it was a fake vision Alice put in Aro's mind to scare the Volturi into backing off thinking they had no chance against the Cullens and Jacob's pack when really the Volturi would have massacred them had the fight actually been real.

@@Xehanort10 Makes me wish that Aro would have had a way to spot implanted and fake thoughts. It could have worked given his age.

Jeez I hope you apologized to your father.

I KNOW!!!

In all fairness, Edward killed people decades ago, while Bella was under the mistaken impression that the wolves were killing people now. And she was just attacked by Paul, so she might be a bit less trusting of the wolves than she initially was of the Cullens. But yes, Bella CLEARLY showed favoratism to Edward over Jacob. It's one of the many many indicators that Jacob never had a chance

Yes, I know that this is 2 years late. I will definitely agree on the point of Ozai. He was just as menacing in real life as he was built up to be. Not to mention the fact that he was incredibly cruel, and he had the literal fire power and standing (being the Firelord) to back it up. However, Victoria's actual abilities and presence do not warrant as much hype as she was given. She certainly didn't do much throughout the books and definitely not in the showdown against Edward. It's one thing to build up a character and have it as a payoff. It's an entirely different thing all together to have a character who simply is there to fill up space. At least in the case of the movies, we got to see more of her because we stepped out of Bella's first person perspective. Even then, however, I don't think it redeemed Victoria's character.

What?

Not talking about 16/17-year-old Jacob and Bella's new born.

really? can it get more fucked

FoxyWhite A16/18 year old couple kissing could be construed as statutory rape in the state of Washington bud

Emily Underwood Not true. Age of consent for sexual intercourse in Washington is 16, which means they can consent to sex with an adult. I haven’t found any mention of kissing. I looked at legalmatch.com and ageofconsent.net.

Emma Or Thanos from the MCU.

@@TheFLAMEXD Thanos is one of the Rare kinds that actually lives up to the hype.

L. T C. I wouldn’t say it’s rare, but it’s definitely uncommon.

Also Voldemort, we knew very very little about him until book 6. We never saw him until book 4. And every wizard besides magic Santa was To afraid to say his name.

Thunder Goku ATLA!!!

MrImastinker Team Alucard is the only good Vampire team

LOl, I actually read that version, and from what I read, I can agree with them. Not because Bella's "human struggles" are that more interesting to read about, but because reading Edward's constant wines and mops can actually kill a person. At least with Bella, we could excuse everything on overwhelming emotions, hormones, first "love" confusion and teenage girl cries. But with Edward....it's like reading an Emo kid personal diary, if he tried to write it down as a depression story filled with "da feels". Seriously, that book is used as a torture device in some developing countries.

What is this book called?

@@viktoria_pikovsky OH so it’s Edward’s perspective 😅 oh dear

@@gracekim25 oh no so she did both haha - "midnight sun" is twilight from Edwards perspective.. "life and death" is the gender swapped version where Beau Swan falls in love with Edythe Cullen 😂 This one kinda gets a different ending than the first book, though I don't remember exactly what.. Haven't read them but watched some funny youtube reviews on them ☺️

I read Life and Death, and the funny thing is when she flipped genders I actually found the male version of Bella a lot less hatable. It was weird.

LOL

🤣💀 Accurate

I would say “Not like that!”, except it’s Onision.

At least when you are buried alive you still have the chance of surviving and escaping alive. Not that it makes it any better of experience, but at least you have some hope. Something that you lack completely while reading the Twilight books.

I never forgot about the pedophilia. Mostly because it involved with future bistiality too.

If anyone qualifies as a sympathetic character in this (New Moon), it's Jacob, because he truly got screwed.

The most screwed character is actually charlie. He seems to be a genuinely interesting character who could have a lot of influence over the plot, yet Mayers kept him in the role of just some dude who lives with Bella. Not even being properly developed as Bella's dad and his own character. But Yes, Jacob also got screwed big time, as he could have been a great competitor for Bella's heart, yet stuck as the forever sloppy second and getting Bella's daughter as a future girlfriend for not being left out completely tho he could have easily got any different girl his age for a love interest.

Yeah, until you remember the LITERAL FUCKING SEXUAL ASSAULT, where he forcibly kisses her against he will. And then after he's all like "oh, dur, I thought you wanted it."

The only part of the movie worth watching is when Aro appears because he is fantastically entertaining. I'll admit that he's not worth the hour and a half of torture that should be classified as a war crime under the Geneva Convention, but that's what editing is for.

I bet the Italian people were thinking "Why's that skinny, pale man taking his clothes off?"

That was a deliberate pun right? (He played the Angel Ariphezel in Good Omens)

64 Squares: Hello there.

Hahahahah

Going to try to answer this using the explanations Meyer has given. Hopefully it makes sense. As a human, Bella could only shield herself from certain powers because she has a private mind.Jasper's and Alice's still worked on her. Jasper's had to do with blood flow, and Alice can only see what a person has decided, not how they came to that decision. As for the wolves, they're not immune to all vampiric powers considering Edward could still read their minds. The reason Alice can't see past the wolves is because she's never been one, just like how she couldn't see past Renesmee when Bella was pregnant because she's never been a half breed.

Also the show acknowledges Asta has flaws.

@@ShadowWolfRising Asta's entire character is about his flaws (being the only person in the world with no magic in a world where everyone uses magic of some kind) and how he's able to overcome any obstacle in his way through sheer determination, force of will, and just outright refusal to lose. The ONLY time he doubts himself for even a moment is when his arms are broken and then he shoots that down immediately after and declares it's the last time he's going to feel sorry for himself. His will to fight and protect everyone kinda becomes infectious after a while and it kinda makes sense why people would want to gravitate towards him. Bella...is a human MacGuffin, with the only reason the Cullens stick up for her being "She'd be killed if they didn't" and Edward's only reason for wanting her is because she smells good or whatever. Jacob treats Bella like a friend and a person, and Edward treats her like a pet.

So she's nothing like asta.

Basically yes. That's sort of the hook for these sort of blank non descript female teen protagonists is YA novels. They allow the target demographic (teenage girls) to self insert themselves in the story. They can see themselves, a regular ordinary teenage girl, somehow become the center of attention for the entire supernatura world. It's wish fulfilment in a horror setting basically. And it worked. 4 books and 5 movies later, we're still talking about this legit global phenomon today. All of that built on a mass of teenage girls imagineing they are Bella Swan.

For vampire love triangles, we seem to have certain tropes. We see in in Buffy and Vampire Diaries too. The female protagonist has to choose between the dark brooding emo suitir (ie Edward, Angel, Stephan) or the arngy domineering but funner bad boy (ie Jacob, Spike, Damon). Jacobs personality shift, which was explained due to his change as a werewolf, allows him to fall into the usual formula. Not necessarily defending this happening to Jacob... just making the observation.

I say the Twilight porno parody movies are better written and far more interesting to watch these piece of shit movies.

The first two and a half are so bad they're funny. The middle of Eclipse onward are so boring that I nearly fell asleep.

tbh, as someone who just rewatched new moon last night, the first two films are absolutely hilarious~ i haven’t rewatched any past eclipse since i was like 8-11, but i can agree that eclipse was really boring.

They're a fantastic time if you are hammered like Thor, with a bunch of friends who are equally hammered.

Even worse. He got angry at her for rejecting him.

Then she’s stuck with him afraid he would hurt her again if she did any little thing he didn’t like

It's tricky to really judge that because we didn't actually see it happen in the story. It could have been abusive, but it also could have been an accident. When you're dealing with supernatural beings, that can happen Jasper attacked Bella in New Moon for example, but I don't think we can necessarily judge him poorly as a person because of it. It was just an accident that can happen because he's a vampire. It's possible that the same cam be said about Sam. Or maybe it was Sams fault. We can't say since we don't really see it. But in the least I think we can say that it looks really really ugly.

Actually this is incorrect. As I recall in the book it's explained that basically he had put his hand up in an attempt to warn her to stay back from him and when he turned the claws slashed her face. He hadn't intended to harm her but because she hadn't known about the whole werewolf thing at the time a simple gesture turned into a serious injury.

​@@Sam-im5tcshe did know he was a werewolf. As his imprinte he could tell her everything. Emily was trying to convince Sam to go back to Leah and what set him off was Emily comparing him to his father (who left when he was six and may or may not be Embry's biological father) the rest is exactly how you described. Also before you or anyone else says it I am not saying that it was Emily's fault, her injury is entirely Sam's fault.

I don't think that was the case.

@@fightingmedialounge519 Ok, I wondered if I imagined that.

I can't belive I know this but bellas ability to neutralise powers was a mental ability that she learnt to control and expand to other people via training. The volturri had a dude who could block powers via physical contact only. I am ashamed I remembered that much tbh

@@lisasand7262 ok. Thank you all for setting me straight.

That's why aro, since he can't read her thoughts, he knows her potential, and that was a reason why Aro wanted to bite her in Italy, New Moon Book.

Dakota should really collaborate on a project with Ari Aster at some point.

Wow, so Twilight actually did something good for the world

So it was that bad then.

Amazing how much better the series gets when you cut away Bella

It was later eclipsed in awfulness by Breaking Dawn.

Don't forget about 64 SQUARES

ichibi drop funny thing is, when I reread the books I always skipped the second book, because it was the worst one.

Either that or she didn't give a crap.

Seriously? It's obvious she wasn't taught anything about writing or story structure. Don't give her any credit where it isn't deserved.

I guess that's why most Twilight fans come to their senses after completing all of their middle school English classes

Xehanort10 true

@@theinsanegamer1024 and to think she went to college for literature.

Give the Winchester brothers a vacation and allow Trevor Belmont, Alucard and Sypha Belnades, from Castlevania, kill the wannabe vampires and werewolves

@@Megatron_95 Tru, that would be cool too ;) Thought i think the boys would be so offended if they didin't get to kick even one of those sparkly dudes xD

I think the problem is that Twilight vampires were just too powerful to really involve humans in the story (apart from Bella of course). Because they have none of the weaknesses that traditional vampires have (ie sunlight, stakes, garlic, crosses, etc) Charlie really couldn't do much short of showing up in a sherman tank. That said, it would be interesting to get some things from his perspective. If Meyers ever continues the Twilight sage, I would like to see Charlies reaction to the truth if it ever happens.

anything can be popular if it has hot guys in it

It was probably just published in right time tbh, same with Harry potter, star wars etc. After those books became "mainstream"/successful when others try to use same themes they probbly automatically get rip off label

Yessss

We're told in the story that young wolves have a difficult time controlling their emotions, so in the least there's a in story explanation on why his behavior changed so rapidly. In the least, he chilled once he imprinted. COurse, that's messed up for an entirely different reason.

Plot McGuffin is the absolute best way I've heard her described.

Simply put, she's far too boring to be a Mary Sue.

Anti-sue. That is what she is.

Except that she is a full-on Mary-Sue. She just fills multiple categories : -Self-Insert : there have been some memes taking Bella's physical description and putting it over Meyer. It's just her when it's not Kristen Stewart. Meyer even said in interviews that if she'd ever had a girl, she would have named her Isabella, Bella's full name. -Relationship : Edward is basically Meyer's fantasy about her perfect man. She even stated that if a real-life Edward came right throught her door, she would leave everything (husband and kids included) to follow him. -Black Hole : bad guys attack because *_she_* is there; good guys fight and die for *_her_* happiness; she got to be pregnant of a vampire even thought it's pratically impossible in this universe; she gets to become a vampire without leaving anything of her human life behind; she gets resurrected when she dies at birth; she has a child whose very existence creates conflicts; ect. -Classic : her name literally means "beautiful swan", predicting her transformation ugly duckling-like. After being transformed, she gets a charisma pack making her astonishingly beautiful and making it possible for her to hunt mountain lion in high heels and silk dress without any inconvenience. -Divine : when transformed, she gets a very rare and powerful capacity (mental shield); she doesn't crave for human blood contrary to almost all newly turned vampires in this universe do in their first months; she can keep her child without making any sort of sacrifice; ect. So yes, even if it's kinda discreet at first, it becomes more and more obvious as the story progresses.

@@mello.sorciere.a.lunettes Now that I notice, yeah you are right. I think I was thinking about how bland of a character she is. And how she was trying not to be like other girls.Something that Anti-sues tend to do.My mistake on that part.

Glad you've enjoyed the channel so far. XD I do plan on finishing the series, but not quite yet. These are more of season finales, so you'll just need to wait a little bit until Eclipse. We'll have plenty of other great episodes in between though, don't you worry!

Viktoria Pikovsky it is because Bella is extremely self centered and everything has to bend to her whims even the story itself which is why she gets everything that she wants with barely any effort on her part.

@@morganyoung3557 Pretty much what both of you guys said. Bella is a whiny selfish brat, who gets her every whim without doing anything to earn it.

Well, I was talking about how Bella fails to realize that Edward might have just dumped her and probably moved on with another girl. But yes, Bella is most probably crying for him so much because she thinks she is so PERFECT there is no way he can leave for forever. And it's not even about Bella being a self- centered twat, but about her being such a dumbass and so fixated on just one guy that she doesn't even try to move on and have a relationship with any other boy available to her, because being forever fixated on your first love is the way to go, and you don't need to try it out with other people too.