I hate to bring bad news here… but I think this book got a sequel. The cover looked the same, and it was by the same author and I remembered this video and didn’t get it. But it’s a definite sequel to this book. Not sure if you want to tear that one to shreds as well
They should've tied the "God's plan" motif into HAL, as he's hinted to be evil but never acts so, he could be like a scary sorta-fucked-up angel, who's set on completing a plan and uncaring of who it harms.
[Chorus] You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag [Verse 1: Puff Puff Humbert] Hey Mr. Harden, why's your ego so massive? You know it's 2 AM and it's dark outside You don't need those s-s-sunglasses Yeah, we all remember that hot chick you hooked up with once (Bye, bye) 'Cause you went on to brag about it for months and months (Months, months, months, months, months) [Verse 2: DeeJay] Yeah, we all get that you think it's impressive But ain't nobody impressed with how much you're bench pressing Buying Smirnoff Ice for girls half your age Telling all your douchebag friends that you still got game [Pre-Chorus] Dear Mr. Harden We all agree that You are a dumbass Why can't you see that? [Chorus] You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag [Verse 3: Puff Puff Humbert] Dear Mr. Harden, do-do-do you find it necessary to shout into your Bluetooth? Or boast about high school rugby? "And I would have went pro if it weren't for my bum knee" And why you got to complain every single time you're not getting laid? You douchebags are a lot of the same "Dude, let's go, this place is full of grenades" [Verse 4: DeeJay] Always trying to look cool, like it's a full-time career That's why yo' Facebook pic shows you chugging a beer You got your gold chain and your wife-beater on So you can fist pump your way to the tanning salon [Pre-Chorus] Dear-de-de-de-dear Mr. Harden We all agree that You are a dumbass Why can't you see that? [Chorus] You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag [Verse 5: Puff Puff Humbert] Inconsiderate, ignorant You drink, you get belligerent You think anybody finds you amusing? No, no, no, not even a little bit You always find a way to stop all the fun Like, when you scream party foul at the top of your lungs De-dear Mr. Harden, I caught you bragging again Trust me, man, nobody gives a damn what frat you were in You claim you hang with celebrities when you don't know any at all "But, dude, I'm totally banging George Clooney's sister in law." No, you're not, come on [Pre-Chorus] Dear Mr. Harden We all agree that You are a dumbass Why can't you see that? [Chorus] You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag [Bridge: DeeJay] Hitting on other girls when yours is in the room (You're a douchebag do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-douchebag) Walking in the club grabbing all on your junk (You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag) Refusing to let go when she says no (You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag) Cut me off in traffic then flipping me the bird (You're a douchebag, do-douchebag Do-do-do-do-do-douchebag) [Outro] "Dude, it's George Clooney's sister in law, I swear, come on Where the hell is my protein shake?"
The most egregious part of this entire book is that there is literally NEVER a point when Isla's own choices actually save her. Literally EVERY TIME she's put into any kind of danger, there's a convenience that saves her. Whether it's someone alluding that they know her secret or even when her life is threatened, she NEVER makes a SINGLE CHOICE that saves herself. It's always a red herring or someone LITERALLY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE TO SAVE HER. Isla isn't a character. She has no agency, and no substance that makes her valuable to the story.
I wasnt sure what you were talking about early on in regards to the dialogue being bunched up, after all on a physical page we dont have the same room as online, so the dialogue ought to be stacked on top of itself like a book tower, no? And then you showed the page with dialogue on it and. My god. It's hideous. Who would commit such a crime against prose? Only the onion man EDIT: I looked right back up to video to keep watching and ONION HAS FULL LINE BREAK IN HIS BOOK? BUT STILL FELT HE HAD TO SHOVE ALL THE DIALOGUE INTO ONE PLACE SO HE COULD GIVE PRIDE OF PLACE TO EMPTY LINES??? Like seriously now, if you're going to go for full one-line breaks between some paragraphs, don't take that budget from the dialogue allocation man. What the hell.
A major issue is how every scene in the book is the most dull, boring version of itself: - When they're sneaking around to grab the general's map, wouldn't it be cool if *willful, conveniently human-sized* Andarna snuck in with them or helped them escape? - When we get a casual aside about a random guy getting roasted just for going near another bonded dragon (already dumb, but w/e), wouldn't it be neat to have the guy trip over that dragon's tail and show his own dragon leaping to his defense because they're bonded? - If Tairn picks Violet for being kind, caring, and defending the weak and was previously bonded to a *healer*, wouldn't it be neat if he actively butted heads with other dragons who only consider humans expendable prey-animals? Guess there wasn't enough room for complexity between all the Zayden eye-f**king
Can't believe they didn't end with him sitting at the restaurant looking at the clock and then at 11 : 57 he hears the door open all sopranos style. Let the readers decide who walks through the door, who have been a bit better in my opinion seemed like it was setting up for it.
Any setting with magic school that has a fatality rate worth mentioning needs some amazing world building to explain how anyone can afford this waste of lives. Either resources are limited so the weak are discarded or the world is truly so lethal the school is better. Writing a school setting with a fatality rate isn't cool it just sounds incompetent
oh my gosh i almost gasped aloud hearing Eon & Eona referenced!!! i read those in high school and this Viscerally jogged my memory. gosh, i need to reread those.
The movie was not made for little kids, it was made for 12 years and up; while the Books were made for 13 years and up, since the series get more mature as the story progresses. Just saying; I have read the books at least 2 or 3 times. In the Books Crepsly sort of fails to prepare Darren fully and properly about being a vampire when the time came to go to Vampire Mountain and he doesn't explain about what animal or freak blood a Vampire can or can't feed on until before they started trailing after Murlaugh in the third book. The Wolfman was a lot more of a savage beast in the books than what he was portrayed in the movie.
Murlaugh from the Cirque Du Freak books was a lot more sadistic, uglier than___ and just as, 'if' not twice as dangerous as Fenrir Greyback from the Harry Potter franchise; I know they are different characters played by completely different actors but, I couldn't figure out why they made Rey Stevenson's character appear almost similar as Dave Legeno's character despite the height differences? I think Dave Legeno would've been the better Murlaugh, if only the world had the 6th Harry Potter movie before the release of "The Vampire's Assistant" movie. I don't care about movie ratings just because they are good or bad in the box office, I wish they made the sequel "Vampire Mountain"; after all "The Vampire's Assistant" covers most of the first part trilogy in the series, I can't see why not make the sequel to cover the 2nd part trilogy that happens from before all the way to after the Trek up the mountain and after the Vampire initiation trials. I am also dying to see what more becomes of these characters in a third film covering the 3rd part trilogy in the series, and what becomes of Darren and Steve's old school friends and the discovery of Harkat's Identity in a 4th film that covers the 4th part trilogy. I wish there were a 4 season series covering all 12 books, and done in a way where we didn't have to be stuck with just the one movie that should've had its own sequels to begin with.
This story weirdly reminds me of The Poppy Wars. I only made it through a fraction of the first book, but the stupidity of the world building and school just feel similar. It's such a shame Kuang wrote such a stinker, her 2023 standalone novel Yellowface was incredible.
ngl, if it had gone full goofy and the "evil" vampires had challenged the "good" vampires to a baseball game for Bella, I would've probably enjoyed some part of this series.
4:50 here's some of my predictions on how aster got away with all her twists: 1. the main character (MC) wakes up and realizes it was all a dream 2. MC realizes they have a faulty memory/partial amnesia and doesn't know what was real or fake will update with timestamp when i think i've got it
I've been watching your onision reviews and you've inspired me to get back into writing my story. For all I know onision is a better writer than I, but your videos make me feel better about trying. Thank you for the laughs!
EDS can be pretty bad I know a guy who into his 20s they thought he was just injury prone and now in his 30s he’s at the point he’s dislocated his spine in multiple places from sneezing to hard
People praised Rebecca making Violet above twenty but we all know she only did it so she wouldnt be cancelled when her character runs around griping about missing sex
"hoover writes about boys who get the girl when they should get the chair" is the most accurate description of her books i have seen across the many MANY people who have reviewed her books. 😭 like. ma'am who hurt you...
So, what I'm getting is the author has never once tried to catch a moth, or else has really bad reflexes or just an inability to learn how his prey functions. Those are actually one of the easiest flying insects in the world to catch because they are so slow to either take off or react to threats compared to flies, bees, wasps or any other winged insects. The only thing that makes a moth hard to catch is if you rush it, generating wind that in turn blows the moth away from you. There are plenty of reasons you can name a ship the Moth. It can be quiet, sneaky, unobtrusive, destructive without attracting notice. Being hard to catch is not one of those things. Also "just casual references" is a pretty good summary of... most of what Disney Wars is.
17:30 Except this one has. Every character in this films has flaws but also some pros. The Trojans may be more sympathetic, but doesn't change the fact they make mistake and suffer the consequences. Paris may be more sympathetic here compare to the book version but he still a dumb teenager whose naivity doomed his family and city, Priam may be a kind old man who love his sons but his desire to protect them at all cost lead to the war that would destroy his kingdom and Hector, despite being one the most honrable characters in the film, still end up killing Patroclus and had to face Achiles (unpopular opinion : Hector killing Menelaus to protect his brother in this film >>>> He stealing Patroclus armor and leaving his body to be eaten by dogs in the book). Even Helen is given more in this film. Instead of being passive, the film shows her having to face the consequences of her decisions and the hard fact that she cannot do anything. The same goes for the Greeks. While Agammenon s are till unlikable and driven by greed and pride, there are characters like Nestor and Odysseus, who are the more honrable and level-headed. Achilles, the main protagonist, is the middle of this. He's pridefull and has temper but able to be protective and show respect his closes allies.
I'm aware this is 1yr old but youtube is doing it's thing and recommended me your channel - only 19 min but as a person whose first language is Spanish, I would call her Isla (not that Ila bullshit or whatever) and die on that hill 😂😂
