Welcome to our HOTEL HELL series! This time we visit Pontins Sand Bay! Also known as Sand Bay Holiday Village!
The Room:
- The room was beside a green algae ridden stagnant 'river', so a lot of mosquitos and all sorts said a long hello in the night!
- There was no A/C, so the window was the only way to cool down, except...
- The problem with Pontins is that the ONLY thing to do is drink! and when the bar closed, people used the seats outside the rooms to shout and talk loudly, so you aren't getting any sleep (They group people's rooms by age!). So we couldn't keep the window open. No fans either. So we were sweating buckets all night. I think I got 2 hours in at least!
- The bed had bed bugs. I was bitten I think around 8 times on my hand and wrist. Luckily I didn't unpack my suitcase or clothing!
- There was no shower but there was a non-slip shower mat. Maybe it's so you don't slip while having a bath? But there was a floor mat.... I'm still confused about this one!
- All electrical appliances had the date left blank on the PAT test sticker (Electrical safety check sticker). I guess it looks better missing rather than out of date lol
- The TV remote didnt work
- The window didnt close properly (Found this out in the middle of the night lol)
- The hot water tap in the room was scalding hot.
- For some reason, when they change out the bedding, they put the bedding on the floor outside with all the cigarette butts and whatnot. I guess it's technically easier I suppose.
The Guests
- The average age of the guests was around 75. I think the oldies get mega rates plus some of the oldies pretty much live there (retirement). Some of them looked like they were literally waiting to die at Pontins.
The Entertainment
- There was Bingo and Bingo and more Bingo with appearances from 'Tony England'. Wow, Tony England!, better hold on to your britches!
Food
- All of the vending machines (apart from 1) were all empty. The one that wasn't empty had 4 types of crisps inside but was otherwise empty.
- There was a HUGE vat of liver and bacon at dinnertime. The bacon was turkey bacon... I think. It was way too pink to be back bacon.... Unless maybe it wasn't? 😆
- I think I overturned 10 'clean' plates before I found a clean one when getting dinner
- The canteen was like eating in high school. Endless rectangle tables. Drab decor; very spartan. Lots of eyes looking at you as you walk in. The old person stare is hard to break to say the least lol... I lost many impromptu staring battles.
- The Drinks, well, they had tea, coffee or juice. The juice machine had 3 flavours: Orange, Lime and Pink. The orange dispenses water at dinner time (But not at breakfast). The lemon and lime also dispensed water, so I had the other one. Pink flavor I think the label said. Except when it dispensed, it was cordial, not juice. 1 part cordial, 10 parts water. I regret not giving up and having a tea in the end.
- Breakfast was alright actually. Nice fry up breakfast. The large vat of scrambled egg was more wobbly than a jelly mould (I thought it was rice pudding until I was corrected), but other than that, no complaints (Other than the dirty clean plates)
Amenities
- The pool and Sauna - I think a lot of the problem is that they still advertise things like swimming pool and sauna as features of your stay, but the pool and sauna have both been closed for around 5 years. The whole pool area was just used to store mattresses and furniture. Why is it still on their website and also on Booking.com!? The sign on the door of the abandoned pool stated: 'No Pictures!' lol what?
- There was a mini golf setup outside which I definitely saw in the early 90s in Skegness, some 30-odd years ago. The same holes and the same features. I would never forget that cartoon octopus statue lol...
- Next to the golf was a bowling green except there were stones where the bowling was supposed to happen. I didnt think a bowling green would be hard to maintain, its just grass. I have no idea what the stones were even for! Maybe where they paid the bowling green to rest when they gave up on it.
- There was an 18 hole golf course, expect all of the holes were 10ft away from each other. I have no idea how that works lol. I guess you take it out of one hole and chip it into then next. To take the ball right back to the start and aim for the other hole 10 feet away from where you tried last time. Who knows!
- An outdoor gym. It was as rusty as hell. Even the sign for the gym was rusty.
- Next to the gym was a swing set. 2 swings were missing. The only thing left was a kids double swing. Bare in mind, this is an 'adults only' Pontins where the average age is 75 lol
Sand Bay Holiday Village, 67 Beach Rd, Kewstoke, Weston-super-Mare BS22 9UR, United Kingdom
Phone: +44 871 222 0201
#Pontins #SandBayHolidayVillage #HolidayPark
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