The WORST Toxic Job Recovery Tips I've Seen

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I’m declaring it: some of the worst toxic job recovery advice is on the first page of google. We’re talking awful and even harmful toxic job recovery tips you absolutely should NOT follow to get over a toxic job.
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
1:11 Take Time Off
3:08 BS Self Care
4:28 Deploy Bad Coping Mechanisms
6:45 Lean on your work family 🙄
9:13 The WORST and more dangerous thing I saw
12:55 How to actually recover from a toxic job
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Dealing with Toxic Work Environments
• Dealing with Toxic Wor...
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Опубликовано:

16 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 109

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Do you wanna learn how to recover from a toxic job for reals? Join my free Toxic Job Recovery Workshop to learn my proven process. toxicjobrecovery.com

@ohh_manda 2 года назад

This is the information we need to be taught in school/college. There are so many unwritten rules in the corporate world it'll make your head spin.

@MajinSayon 2 года назад

The rules are being kept from you for a reason.

@jennyundah4583 2 года назад

I just left my toxic job. I didn’t take time off to feel my feels and heal. I‘m in the fortunate position that my next job isn‘t full time and way less pressure. So I can take the time to get my self esteem back and focus on me. I know not everyone is that lucky but I hope everyone that leaves a toxic job will find a way to cope that‘s healthy.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

You're so lucky you have that time and space to invest into yourself and your recovery.

@lemaxx2638 2 года назад

I left a toxic job and straight away I got 3 offers, guys leave shitty job and shitty people, down the road they are worthy people waiting to work with them.

@tammydunnettleadership 2 года назад

I hope your new job is everything you need and want. When I left my position, I had a group of people that pretty much put this girl back together - I was pretty broken and trusted noone. Having a circle of healthy people goes a long way

@jenc.626 2 года назад

The trauma dumping impacted my performance reviews in my new job. I completely regret telling them what I went through….it was a big mistake.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

This is a mistake so many people make, especially when you're trying to process what happened to you. Set that firm boundary now. I hate saying out on a site, but impression management is essential for you right now.

@wendynoble6545 2 года назад

I spent so much time "reflecting", trying to fix myself, paying career coaches, reading books, etc. It didn't make my work environment better.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Many of my clients have done the same. Career coaches are for getting new jobs, most don't know much beyond resumes, interview prep and LinkedIn optimization (most were recruiters and have never made a hiring decision either). Books and self-reflection can help, but books on this topic are lacking and TBH not helpful in my experience, and self-reflection requires you know what to look for and focus on, right?

@kt4047 2 года назад

I made it a point to write ten good things about my workplace almost every day for two years! I had a "thankful for" list and a "praying for" list. What a waste of ink and notebook pages.

@wendynoble6545 2 года назад

@@kt4047 yup! I started with 30 minutes a day of anything I could do to change my job. I read a book about my field, I researched possible job profiles, I spent time figuring out my work visa, I improved my language skills (I'm in Austria and needed to improve my German to improve my job prospects). 30 minutes, every day! It took two years but I'm in a much better job now!

@kt4047 2 года назад

@@wendynoble6545 so glad you're doing really great now! 🥂

@JonathanSorunke 2 года назад

For the majority of people, their job is the main source of income so the LAST THING you should do is spend more money than usual if you just left your job. Great video!

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Yep, a lighter bank account doesn't lighten any emotions sustainably (but can add a big burden if you overspend)

@richardcastillo4328 2 года назад

I worked tons of overtime for the purpose of an emergency escape. Great video! I wonder what percentage of people in the workforce are in toxic workplaces

@davidellis5141 2 года назад

My toxic box refused to assing me tasks & allow me to grow within the company. That person is now on their 4th job in 5 years. I am prospering at the job I took where my talent was recognized & challenged.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I'm so proud of you for going where your talents are appreciated and your growth is cultivated!

@nickgagliano7392 2 года назад

Love your videos and the information you mention. It is an important thing to point out that 20% of corporate execs are indeed psychopaths. And the bullying and gaslighting that happens is truly traumatizing especially for victims of bullying and abuse in childhood.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Yes, and the bad advice is even more dangerous when workplace trauma is stacked on childhood trauma in my opinion.

@anonanonymous1970 2 года назад

I've worked in corporate settings and academia. Academia makes the corporate world look like the healthiest place in the world. Tenure protects abusive professors and they are basically narcissistic tyrants who don't know or care about employment laws. This area NEEDS more attention!

@subtleartofnotgivingafuck2773 2 года назад

I left a toxic job, but didn't get a chance to rest because they took me to court to try to get me to sign a restraint of trade after the fact. I spent months going through the stress of legal proceedings and having them badmouth me to my current employer. And also spent hundreds of thousands on legal fees. I'm still experiencing negative emotions about them, even though it's finally over. Calling friends did help a lot as a coping mechanism though. Thank you for the video - what you said about blaming myself was completely true.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I'm sorry they put you through the wringer like that, but I'm so glad you had a support system you could count on and they understood.

@tammydunnettleadership 2 года назад

it's not easy when the toxicity drags on, I am sorry you had to go through this, sounds horrible

@ellynfoster4440 2 года назад

I took a fast food job to supplement my income while I made a plan. Not glamorous, but it kept me afloat for the months I needed it

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Zero shame in keeping your bills paid 💜 I think bridge jobs are a solid option, especially right now.

@gillberridge9854 2 года назад

i would never divulge in a new job that i left the previous due to toxicity - why - u open yourself up telling all the hurt u feel, what they did blah, blah -you would be giving 2 much personal info plus your pain (which will include your weak spots) - they could also think you are exaggerating and worse think that it cant be 100% their fault and wonder what u may have done to create it - also it will sound so negative (also not good) - and remember there may be toxic people listening to you and you are feeding them loads of personal info. Maybe hard but i would smile (through gritted teeth) and give a plausible reason for leaving so they cannot generate any negativity (i understand you may want to scream about the pain they caused but please not to them (they are just work colleagues) instead learn to be your own bestie and give yourself a pat on the back for managing not to blurt it all out as letting everyone know how you feel can also make you feel slightly vulnerable

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Especially at a new job impression management is important. And boundaries (always)

@nehla47 2 года назад

Thank you for posting that comment. I know that with myself, I have some self-control in not over sharing and can moderate my way of phrasing things, but it's a good reminder that people DO judge you based off of the bad experiences you share. It's really sad and toxic, but true.

@NarcissismUnveiled 2 года назад

Been in toxic job for 7 years and to recover so far is one day at time, so happy to have leave it

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

That's the only way to take it

@LIVdaBrand 8 месяцев назад

Been there!

@westcoastsands 2 года назад

Now more seriously lol, to answer your Q, yes I took downtime in between a toxic job and my new job for how long I could afford which was 3 months. I feel it was necessary because there was so much psychological (gaslighting, narcissism) abuse in my previous job that I had to try and heal from before going into a new job and team. Now, I could not be happier. Also, finding your RU-vid Channel last year helped me realize my situation and take action (get a new job I love).

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I'm SO GLAD that you are in a job you love now, and that you were able to take downtime. It's incredibly valuable and I wish everyone could, it is really helpful to have time and space to decompress and not worry about any work stuff!

@tammydunnettleadership 2 года назад

heaing is soooo important, I left a job thinking it was healing - and then found myself working in a place with other bully type personalities - it was time for me to figure out what I was doing and to change a few things

@txa1265 2 года назад

“Bath & movies” - this reminds me of the “running is my therapy” mantra that I hate so much! A truly toxic situation requires an actual healing process - not an ‘I had a bad day’ one-off splurge. (Love the ‘negative coping mechanism’ description … mine since the pandemic is stress eating - how to gain weight while running 2500 miles per year! :D )

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Michael - SAME! I'm a runner (and nope it's not therapy, but I love a good rage run), and pandemic had me hitting the snacks.

@jeffrybrickley870 2 года назад

In college I had my first problem with Rheumatoid Arthritis knees, and actually had a doctor prescribe a 5 mile run a day as a cure. See? Cures everything from the toxic boss to the toxic immune system. Better than genuine grade A, all natural, snake oil liniment.... (sarcasm)

@ForgottenKnight1 2 года назад

Those coping mechanism are only good when you really need to suck it up for the short term because you probably really need the money. In the long run (see what I did there:) ), you're just hiding the shit under the carpet. It's still there.

@geepeear 2 года назад

I was able to take a break but it required me taking a position lower than what I was qualified... so from restaurant management to delivery driver... but the stress free break of not managing but making the same amount of money really helped with transitioning in to my new job.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Sometimes that decrease in responsibly gives you space to decompress. Bonus you had the same income!

@geepeear 2 года назад

@@JenniferBrick Thanks I do watch your channel when I can, and appreciate the feedback. 😁

@purpleconundrum783 2 года назад

I wrote several letters to the toxic people and things and situations that had caused me to quit. Then I waited a day or two... And torched the letters at a bonfire I had already been going to. Best. Decision. Ever. 🙃

@NS-uq9st 2 года назад

I m so glad you brought this up... After leaving my toxic job I ended up in therapy and my therapist was trying to convince me that I was high on arrogance due to my achievement at work.... I left his therapy soon after I started reading self help article and watching you tube channel. I have Gaslighted myself so often and still do but glad you brought this topic and every word is so true...

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I've heard so many stories of therapists who know nothing about toxic work dynamics and toxic job recovery. It's wild to me. But in fairness, there is basically no academic research on the subject because up until now it's just be accepted.

@yukio_saito 2 года назад

I can relate to you. I also stepped away from therapy when dealing with toxic work environment. There are few therapists who understand toxic relationship dynamics. Some therapists are not only unskilled, but they are also enablers themselves.

@kt4047 2 года назад

First worst advice: "You really need a boyfriend." I am known to have never been in a relationship, and I can tell you how many times I have heard this from different people. Second worst advice: "I think you need to stop imposing your values onto your boss. Diversity is about accepting different ways of working. What if using people and stretching figures is what's right to him? Maybe you need to trust him a little bit more." From a mentor whom I always confided about my toxic boss. Third worst advice: "Have you heard about self fulfilling prophecy? You kept saying that something was wrong and that's what you attracted. You are so lucky to have this job." From my old boss who is into the law of attraction.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

1: BARF. 2: Sounds like gaslighting 3: Don't get me started on Law of Attraction. Like, if someone believes in it and practices I'm not gonna judge them - but it's not rea (like I believe in karma but not this)

@kt4047 2 года назад

@@JenniferBrick the worst part among these was that I believed them all and I kept coming to them for advice, until I came across your videos on toxic workplaces. It was like a spell being broken. Slowly getting over these but I can't thank you enough! ✨

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

@@kt4047 I'm so glad you found my channel and my videos are helping!

@wendynoble6545 2 года назад

Oh lord! Those are bad! There is one small grain of truth in the third one... Hear me out... In the sense of getting stuck in a negative cycle that I found it very difficult to do anything constructive to get it of the situation. Negative breeds negative. It was really hard to send out that first job application, let alone verbalise to friends and family that I would move on. Like a deer in headlights.

@kt4047 2 года назад

@@wendynoble6545 no problem 😊 I agree, there is a bit of grey area in the third one. The context was my ex-boss telling me that I was the problem because I couldn't stop thinking about my hunch that my boss (different person) was working something fishy behind my back, which he was.

@mariapena9935 2 года назад

How about when you are told to “get over it and move on” or “It is just a job” If you are like me who was a workaholic, lived at her job simply because she loved it, then these statements are of no help to you. I define my self concept of who I am by my job. Definitely not healthy, but it is what it is. So when you have a job that you loved ripped from you, the pain of it just gnaws at you, and so you blame yourself. What is worse is that you cannot get help anywhere when you are in the midst of the turmoil, no one gets it until they live it, it truly is that simple. And again, they never will get it. Thanks for the great video.😊🙏

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

People don't get it. I was exactly like you when I got fired from my toxic job. I loved my actual job and my clients, my identity was centered in being a working mom exec, and then I was jobless and deeply traumatized. More videos coming out on separating identity from work (work is part of it not all of it). But yes that's toxic AF. Even when your work isn't your life, it's not something that applies to toxic job survivors but we hear it all the time

@tammydunnettleadership 2 года назад

Yes - I heard all sorts of bad advice when I was in my bully job; the truth people don't know how to help you / us / me, and this is their best attempt to try and help - the reality is these are not great ideas as it just keeps the target feeling like they are doing something wrong

@carlyjacobs7567 2 года назад

I ended up quitting with no job lined up. I am applying to jobs now. But, I keep having regret about quitting my old job ... even though all I wanted to do was quit. I am now questioning if what I did was right. And i question if it even was toxic.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

This is totally normal to question, especially if you were being undermined and gaslighted. That behavior taught your brain to question your knowing which leaves you with that fear that it was just you and it was the wrong step.

@jihanemochamad6352 2 года назад

Thank you, Jennifer, your video here is very helpful. What I have found is working for me is always be ready to spot any better opportunities and jump ship, as in my experience, toxic workplace is going to be worse day by day, and the structural changes in the line of authority, responsibilities, and culture, values, even job descriptions are so significant, that it will be impossible to stay.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Yes! Always have a Plan B!!

@okoala62 2 года назад

I left my first toxic job on a Sunday and started the next (toxic) job that following Monday. I left that SECOND toxic job on a Friday and began my new job on a Monday. The new job is great BUT it’s mentally rough; I wish I’d taken time off in between because it’s been rough but it is what it is ☹️ those who can take time off, TAKE IT 😫 for the love of all good things, take time off whenever you can! I didn’t have the luxury but at least I’m no longer at a toxic job anymore! 😝

@Liz-wz8dh 2 года назад

Congrats on getting out. That's the best thing you could have done for your mental health.

@westcoastsands 2 года назад

Trauma dumping - thank you for the insight and advice.

@tammydunnettleadership 2 года назад

sometimes leaving is the best option, but when you cannot, you want to know how to set boundaries and have all the self care activities to help counter the stress hormone cortisol - if you do leave, there is still work to do to ensure you recover and build your resilience and the strategies so it does not happen again!!

@annaconsta 2 года назад

"Reflect on what you have done differently": like, punched my former manager in the face?

@valfarruggia8886 Год назад

Right?

@dctrbrass 2 года назад

I mean, I have a habit of looking at myself first. So when problems first start on the job, I make sure it's not me acting stupid. By the time I leave, I already know that it's them lol :) You're doing a great work here Jennifer

@Steampunk915 2 года назад

Hey I just wanted to say thank you for your videos, They really helped me in landing a job that is in my field and this is after 2 years of Job application posting and rejected interviews. Keep up the great work you've been doing and help others in need of a career boost.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing how my videos have helped. I really appreciate it and it delights me to know my work makes an impact.

@JK20239 2 года назад

1:53. Ouch.😭😭

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I feel like so much advice forgets that people have these things.

@kartikaybhagat8504 2 года назад

So I kind of made an opposite mistake to some of your advice here, I let it go for too long with Toxic Managers or Toxic Places and I just kept it inside and bottled in, for many years in fact. Its also unfortunately a cultural thing where we don't talk about our feelings enough. I am trying to change this for myself.

@Liz-wz8dh 2 года назад

I am so happy to see someone mention these. This is the crappy advice I got after leaving my last toxic job (from a counselor). Almost none of it really helped and years later I am still sort of dealing with the negative emotions leftover. Now in my current toxic job I am wondering how I will recover from this one too. The best thing I did to cope with my last toxic job was starting to hit the gym and putting a lot of effort in there and practicing a LOT of compartmentalizing. So I would tell myself once I leave the office I am not allowed to think about work again until 8 am the next day. Instead, I am going to focus on 3 health or fitness related goals I could hit in the evening that would give me a sense of achievement.

@lecimarie8500 Год назад

Thank you for understanding. Blaming the bullied and abused is completely vile. I can breathe a little better at hearing you say that. Someone out there has a heart.

@joannesaltfleet2071 2 месяца назад

It's those who do the bullying that have problems!

@cc.929 2 года назад

Hello my Super Hero, i am so thankful for all your advices. Also that i met you in this time of my life. I quit my job at 23. August and still have to work 3 months. The work was to stressful, Colleagues toxic af... Sorry for this bad word. Payment very little... The thing is, i got so much stomach pain since last week and have tomorrow a Gastroscopy and i know its from that stress at work. I regret that i worked my ass off and tried to believe in good or just discuss even no goes with my colleagues to stop their bad behaviour.... Young and dumb that's what i am. I hope tomorrow all is fine, and i hope its just the stress. We will find out tomorrow. My God you talk so much out of my soul.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Sending so many positive vibes your way, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

@cc.929 2 года назад

@@JenniferBrick Thank you so so much 🙏🙏🙏🙏 🌺💐🌺

@lemaxx2638 2 года назад

Same for me, very toxic ugly co workers

@nehla47 2 года назад

Excellent video. Amen to the rant near the end.

@MayraYPerez 2 года назад

Thank you! I needed this.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Glad it was here for you, Mayra

@joychism100 2 года назад

Yeah don’t go shopping!! I was completely out of CC debt and turned around and went “shopping for school”!! $500 and I still didn’t feel better! I was $500 in debt!

@amyji7091 2 года назад

Yes I took 2.5 weeks off and then I found your videos on YT to recover from a toxic work environment.

@number1cde Год назад

Love this!!!

@alexconsidine5691 Год назад

I did this after leaving one job in 2020 formed a new habit of walking everyday and listening to a podcast to clear my head. Best thing I ever did for myself! Just left a different toxic job (toxic in a WHOLE different way) and struggling to move on from the bs that I went through at this place.

@MountainsoftheHeart Год назад

A bubble bath is a great DAILY self care experience, but it is not going to compensate for the trauma caused by a toxic job.

@pisceanbeauty2503 2 года назад

I’ve not been able to take off more than a week or so between jobs because the new jobs always want you to start ASAP!

@piane_e Год назад

For the shopping one, I’ve reframed it for leaving my current toxic af job as this: I’m going out to splurge on healthy food options I can cook this week so I get to be hands on and creative while also eating in a way that will help me feel better and even allow me some unhealthy items (like sweets) in a balanced way.

@agjul 2 года назад

Thank you for pointing these out. I especially hate the "take time off" bs. Along those lines is the "start your own (side) business/make passive income" advice as well. Not everyone has the capital (financially and socially) to start a business, nor the extra time. I some condescending comments on a tiktok from self-proclaimed entrepreneurs about this stuff. Then, when you explain your situation, they say shit like "well I had worse and I still succeeded". Good for you, asshole. You don't know my entire life circumstances, so way to put me down for that. 🙄 The point about bs self-care also resonated with me because I have well-meaning friends who would advise me to do those things when I ranted lol. I also saw it on some job "advice" sites, which...were not helpful. I agree 💯 with your last point that putting the blame on the victim of a toxic or abusive situation is one of if not the worst advice. I saw that quite a bit on some sites and I just don't understand how some of those bloggers blame the victim over the people making the situation really toxic for that person. The last thing you want to hear when you're recovering is that it's your fault, with no mention of the assholes who put you into this situation.

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Oh I'm working on a whole Side Hustles are Toxic AF and Destroy Your Career video. Because you're right. They require a ton of money, time and connections. You can be missing maybe one of those components, but if you're missing two you're effed. Nevermind the multi-billion exploitive industry of business and side hustle coaches that will teach you how to make a "passive income" that isn't passive at all. And about the victim blaming bloggers, they're listening to BS from Tony Robbins which is 90% gaslighting and 10% psychobabble. (sorry I'm in a salty mood today lol)

@scotchbrite6488 2 года назад

I sort of took a time off after leaving my toxic job. I went to school and studied so that I could learn new skills and steer my career in a different direction. I don't understand why would someone advise to tell you new work "family" your past toxic job. Just leave the past in the past to be able to move forward. However, during my job search, it was quite a bit hard when they ask me during interviews about handling conflict or working with difficult people. I had to mention examples of bad stuff that happened and how I acted about it. Sigh... so much for wanting to forget the bad things that have happened.

@joychism100 2 года назад

Fortunately I was able to take a month off but I had to get to work or go to school so I chose school and cleaned houses while getting an Associates in Business Management and General Supervision

@inesvirag5062 Год назад

I was priviledge enough to exit and take time off :). Baths, floating therapy with epsom salt could help reduce stress haha :) Therapy also :). Btw Jennifer i like your videos they helped so much with gtfo from a toxic job 💕

@paulhornbogen980 2 года назад

Practical common sense. Two thumbs up.

@westcoastsands 2 года назад

Love the red lip on you Jennifer!

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

Thank you!

@SurpriseMeJT 2 года назад

When you have an FU fund, ideally the kind of net worth which would lead you to financial independence (FI), you can and should certainly take time off between jobs. That's the whole point of having the FU fund.

@rodrigojuarez1757 2 года назад

Thank´s for this advises. You are the ideal woman: pretty, smart, and sensible.

@kikidhen3839 2 года назад

Could I request a video topic? As a manager (on my way out due to the mental health damage the job has caused) we aren’t allowed to give recommendations-whether the employee was good or bad. Now that I will be on the other side and I will need recommendations, what would you suggest a person in my position do? My entire 2 decade career has been with that 1 company so all my professional recommendations would come from them.

@ohh_manda 2 года назад

If you're looking to get out of a toxic environment, DO IT NOW!! Its what finally let me leave my toxic job of 4 years because there's so many opportunities right now. I declined a promotion with my toxic company for the new company solely for the environment and benefits. I've applied at this company in the past and its notoriously difficult to get into. I was interviewed and hired within 3 days of my application being submitted. Can you make a video on the "Great Resignation" thats going on right now?

@JenniferBrick 2 года назад

I posted a video about the Great Resignation a couple weeks ago!

@ohh_manda 2 года назад

@@JenniferBrick oh thank you! I'm new and didn't see it. I'll check it out.