The Worst Writing I've Encountered: Kylie and Kendall's Sci-Fi Book 

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Rest assured the KK sisters did as much actual writing on this book as one would be able to credit a keyboard when typing out a grocery list.

"Don't you know, my family is very, very, very important, therefore I matter." That pretty much says it all... 😂😂😂

These celebrities were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't stop to think whether they should.

I forgot this book existed. It has a *sequel* too.

Each sentence has exactly six words. This makes the book quite monotonous. Reading out loud would catch it. But if you don't you don't. Then you're stuck with this shit. Like reading bullet points off slides. The same cadence all the time. Not a single hint of variation. It gets boring after a while. Sounds like a constant sine wave. You wish they did something else. Made some music with their language. But no, we can't have that. You get six words per sentence. No more, no less, always six. Books shouldn't be written like this. But sadly they are some times. It's very very very very bad.

This certainly raises my confidence that I am not as incompetent as I thought.

I like to think the sentence cadence is fucked because Kendall would write half a sentence and then pass it to Kylie to finish the sentence. (They definitely had a ghostwriter and did not write a syllable if this book.)

They are genuine inspirations! They have shown that you don't need skill or talent to get your novel published. You just have to be famous and have lots of money.

Seems like a clear case of "Editor and publisher didn't want to piss off celebrities"

I think the most I've done is about 46 hours. I know I've never broken 50. But yeah, it's weird to feel c o g n i t i v e b r e a k d o w n in real time

72 hours? If I miss sleep one night I feel like an absolute crackhead.

Well, of all people that could've written a sci-fi novel, these two surely are the last i would ever have expected it from.

This book makes Wizard'sFirst Rule look like Memory of Light 😆

This video expanded my eyeballs.

8:44 can confirm this is a conversation you would have with your Uber driver in Boston while driving past a construction site. "Yeah, you hear 'bout that guy got killed here last week? Ton of bricks fell on him, killed instantly"

The drop in quality from the prologue (which wasn't terrible) to the actual chapters (which were quite terrible) is staggering.

Those girls' literacy was formed in the texting age. You know their editor spent a 40-hour week just red-lining all the mistaken uses of there/their/they're. The second full week was devoted only to making sure the book HAD punctuation.

It reads like they dictated the book but when their co-writer tried to expand upon their thoughts they got offended and stopped them 😂

"First drafts are meant to suck" - this is commom advice in the writing community. But you're not supposed to publish that without edits... 😆

There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used to torture people. AND why they tell new mothers to not throw their babies - lack of sleep makes you a completely different person.

New writing goal: Include the sentence "I feel my eyeballs expanding" in a story in a logical way.

It's like they listened to Red Rising and said "I can do that." But my mamma always said to say something nice. So, books like this make me respect actual authors even more.

I couldn’t have asked for a bigger confidence boost in my own writing. Thank you for suffering through this

The thing that baffles me is the co-author. Because if this was just them, I get it. It absolutely reads like a first story. Ask any author published today, and the first thing they wrote reads like this, or worse. I shudder to think of my first book being seen by anyone, ever. But most people spend a good 5-10 years learning before we actually publish anything. Most of us face adversity and failure and rejection. We persist. And that hones us. Now imagine being guaranteed a deal on the very first thing you write, because it will sell. Skipping the line. And in the process, hobbling yourself.

I hope my writing isnt this bad, but I really worry it is. At least its not published.

"We're approaching some dialogue" should NOT be a sentence a reader has to utter aloud or even deign to think while reading. Lordy...

As someone who was once up for a week straight without chemical assistance, can confirm you start to hallucinate a couple days in. Can not recommend.

After everything you read i still have no idea what's happening in any of the scenes. Thats honestly a SKILL.

_Andrew could see Blood streaming from his face and even worse, an eye missing._ You can feel how they planned on putting a dramatic *dum dum duuuuum* into it. I don't know why, but that sentence sounds so bad 😂

Who needs alcohol? Apparently this book has the same effect on your brain as a gallon of tequila

If they were like "Hey, we're beginning writers so don't expect anything from this book." it would all be fine. But no, this was marketed as an actually publishing-worthy book. No. Just No.

Every time Daniel read the name Longhorn, all I could think was Foghorn Leghorn. So, I kept imagining this mentor character as a giant rooster. I can't decide if this made the story better or worse.

Come on Daniel, I can't believe you've never felt your eyeballs expand. You're missing out.

This was pretty painful to listen to. But it reminded me of something else. Twenty years ago a group of authors got together to write a collaborative novel that was so bad it would be unpublishable. They took turns filling in chapters without reference to the previous one, resulting in characters changing from one page to the next, plot points disappearing, and more. It was called Atlanta Nights, and you can find it easily these days. They submitted it to a vanity publisher who advertised as only accepting high quality manuscripts. It was accepted without question. Then the writers pointed out the reality and the publisher had to back track very quickly. It was then published on Lulu under the author name, Travis Tea. Chase up the Wiki page on it, it's a total scream to read. It's a bad book written by experts.

About to name an MMO character Expanded Eyeballs.

Im a vision technician, and if your eyeballs are EXPANDING, then you are having some serious issues.

So the book was written in 2014. I think that means they were 17 and 19? I mean that abomination has no business being published but they were young so that can explain why it was so bad.

Daniel, I had a depressing day today, I was very sad and crying, and nothing could give me joy. You can’t imagine how much this video has lifted my mood! I began to smile and laugh at the sounds of your contagious laughter! From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🤍

This reminds me of those pictures that seem normal at first but, when you actually look at them, you can't identify a single object. Like, I know these are English words that have meaning, but I don't understand any of it.

This prose is so bad, I cannot process the text at all. And I'm not even dyslexic. And am listening to Daniel read it.

I'm with you on drinking. The older I get the less it appeals to me and it never really appealed to me to begin with. Also Kudos to you for even trying to read the book. I wouldn't have bothered.

Daniel: "don't read this book" Me: "10 steps ahead of you" Was never going to.🤣

My eyeballs have been expanding this entire video, and I'm out of breath with some tears on my cheek. 😂

1) Can you imagine being the editor on this? 2) I'm morbidly curious as to whether this... prose?... reflects their irl thoughts. --- edt: oh, yes, the sleep thing. Going without for multiple days will leave lasting psychological damage and can actually lead to psychosis iirc.

This was so incredibly hard to follow. I can’t imagine the sort of torture people underwent to finish.

"I so vividly understand the artistry of writing right now" 🤣

And I quote: 'you built this empire but...YEEET!'

Daniel thanks for casually repping the choice to stay dry. Makes me happy.

Some of this writing reminds of Charlie's political speech he wrote for Dennis on always sunny 😂

It sounds like they wrote lines then went back in with a thesaurus to try and "fancy" it up. Stuff like expanding eyeballs instead of something like eyes going wide in shock.

It sounds like it was written like they thought they would get a tv adaptation, that's the only explanation for these strange scene breaks

The only thing I can think of to make this book more nightmarish would be if it included a foreword by Terry Goodkind.

did 104 hours on a dare at 21 yrs old... was beyond delirious. Slept for 2 days afterward.

I get delirious every time I fly home. The flights take 18-20 hours and I can't sleep when I travel so in total I'm always up for over a day and I am always loopy towards the end.

Secret tunneeeeeeeeeel, secret tunneeeeeeeeeel

20:28 when you want to focus on something in the distance you narrow your eyes not dilate them. Dilated eyes may represent a lack of focus.

my schadenfreude is in ecstasy knowing they are horrible writers... and I am disgusted that they will undoubtedly make money from it. Absolutely sickening.

Rebels: City of Indra: The book that can give you sleep deprivation symptoms in record time.

They brought us crap, you turned it into laughter. Thank you Daniel, thank you.

I feel so much better about the stuff that I write 🤣

Well, this was the motivation I needed to try writing something. Coz my grocery lists read better than this

It feels like the ghost writer made a very detailed outline for them to follow and rewrite in their own voice but they just decided the outline was good enough, hence why it all seems to be written as a series of events and thoughts with no flavour.

Unfortunately, you can function without sleep for a long time, but it is definitely not safe or recommended. After having both my babies (2 years apart), I was unable to sleep for 5 days straight, due to them waking and crying to be fed just as I was about to fall sleep and also due to the new mom hormones racing through my body that made me so alert and wired and waiting to hear them wake up. Do not recommend and I could not have driven a car or left the house to do anything - I was a zombie. I did, thankfully get 3-5 hours of sleep on the fifth day after both births.

That was painful, I can only imagine how much moreso it was to have to actually read it. I think I understand feeling angry about the book, that something that horrendous, that offensive to actual writers was allowed to go to print on the strength of their celebrity alone! It's an actual insult to anyone and everyone who loves the written word.

In 1980's I was in the Boy Scouts and we were travelling to Australia for the World Jamboree and my friends and I decided to have a contest to see who could stay awake the longest. I hit the 52-hour mark somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, and literally watched a man get out of his seat, walk toward the front of the plane, turn left, and walk outside. I was hallucinating so much that I started getting seasick and ill. And this was when I was young, only fourteen or fifteen years old. So I can confirm, just over 2 days of no sleep and you start to seriously spiral down.

The use of passive voice here is so incredibly weird. Nobody is doing anything, they're just there while it happens.

Prologue: C- for decent first and nice thought in last sentence

Thank you for this review and for saving us from this monstrosity! I will never read this book. And I foresee I probably won't be reading any books written by Maya Sloan either....

It's interesting to watch as you go from curious, to amused, baffled, then pissed off as you continue. But if where one of their fans I wouldn't feel like they thought I was the "best" if they offered me that garbage.

Never has a video been so perfectly timed for the end of a work day 🍷

I've seen that cover before. We all have! Not an original idea in that entire family!

"Arndew" lol

Oh boy this was so fun. That must have been terrible to read, but it was enjoyable to hear you read it and break it down😂.

Videos like these make me feel better about my mediocre sci fi novel

This is written like it's a middle schoolers book report summarizing what happened in a different book

Somehow, I don't really find this surprising. Note the absence of any degree of surprise on my face! Thanks for this! (Sorry you had to endure the reading to protect us)!

I first heard of this book when it won a Green Slime Award at Bubonicon. (Yes, that's a convention named after a plague.)

Every English student shuddering at the passive voice in the sentence “Andrew was killed.” Eww. Way to take something dramatic and suck all the excitement from it.

They *could* have paid a writer. It would have been fine. Somebody gets paid, they get the cash grab, and it's maybe a mediocre novel. But no. I just realized someone must have edited this. Multiple people held this book in their hands and thought, "Sure, let's put this out into the world." Sigh.

18:15 it's written like my internship report from when I was in university. Like, it's completely missing any thoughts or feelings of the character.

Brandon Sanderson teaming up with Shaq to write a fantasy book.

Since I can't get my hands on The Pepperwood Chronicles, I'll be looking out for this gem instead.

I feel like I've lost many a brain cell with this book. If there was ever a good time to bring back book burning it'd be now. 😂

the longest i went without sleep was around five and a half days but it was also triggered by a manic episode and i was very much hallucinating. it was really bad you wouldn’t just be tired you go a little crazy, i couldn’t even force myself to go to sleep at that point i had to get help from my doctor

Here I am with a 160k word fantasy novel that is interesting and getting instant rejections and emails from agents because it’s not 80k words, yet this shit gets published. Publishing is DEAD

Been an insomniac my entire life. It's a wild ride of functional humanity on 3 hours of sleep on normal days, 6 on best days ever, and zero on the worst. Favorite time was college. I did end up not sleeping for 4-5 days. The reason I say 4-5 is that I have no memory of the 5th day whatsoever. Day 3 was already fairly mild hallucinations and the last part of the 4th to the end of the 5th is just lost to me. But...I didn't do anything abnormal. I apparently still went to classes, to work, accompanied friends, made jokes, and wrote an incomprehensibly strange yet accurate thesis statement for literary analysis homework that I ended up not using. Mania is a hell of a drug.

This is an aspen. It’s called an aspen because of the way that it is. That’s pretty neat!

I love that the first 3:30 seconds is just them shooting the shit

They need to be told about the concept of "show, don't tell". And the monotony made the "heart thumping wildly" genuinely surprising.... yikes.

I've hallucinated from sleep deprivation with one of my newborns, it's no joke and probably something many of our mothers have experienced.

When I first read the title I though it was an Indian inspired Scifi because Indra is a prominent indian god. I thought there were ripping off Indian culture, but its still a weird name choice.

You’re so nice to listen to, disheveled, I don’t even mind this involuntary free fall into abhorrent emptiness. 😊

Oof.. That was definitely rough. Kudos for making it through that. lmao

Makes me more confident in my own writing

I absolutely can't stand present tense in a novel. Chuck Wendig wrote his Star Wars aftermath trilogy in present tense as well, and I had such a hard time slogging through....

I don’t think I’ve ever made it a full 72 hours of wakefulness 🤔 but once in first year university, my insomnia got so bad I was awake 3 nights through. Falling apart by the end of it, and when I finally did sleep I genuinely don’t remember a: falling asleep b: how I got back to my dorm room or c: collapsing on the floor of said dorm room still fully clothed. I slept for 17 hours straight or thereabouts

Are we sure they didn’t just enter a prompt into Chat GPT? Hearing this, honestly fuels me to finish my first novel. I can’t let mine go unfinished knowing this was…completed?

16:26 Somehow, this is a ghost writer (Maya Sloan). I guess this goes to show that even large amounts of money couldn’t make up for passion when it comes to fantasy writing. I’m curious to see what this writing (& editing) process was like here. 17:23 My best friend and I used to write stories chapter by chapter back and forth in middle school and they read a lot like this too 😂

10:25 this is how I feel about The Grace of Kings. And this happened and this happened.