I dont know if anyone has noticed this but up to this point of the story Theo has allways isolated her self and was almost emtionless. So when she has her breakdown she shows all her emotions and expresses them with her hands. Thats so genius to me.
I am a Theo with Luke tendencies ( I dated and almost had a baby with a Luke in rl.. ) and the emptiness Nell ultimately had to feel before acceptance.
Morning when i watched this scene for the first time i broke into tears. It really wrecked me because it was like she explained how i felt to me when i thought the words to describe my darkest moments couldn’t be formulated into words.
@@Bl00DY617 I just love how well she described it. I felt like I knew exactly what she was talking about. That thorough shame, the unbearable, insufferable shame, was actually BETTER than that HORRIBLE, EMPTY nothing.
If you deal with depression, well then this scene definitely hit you more. She described it perfectly. It's not just sadness. It's the emptiness and nothing you feel in your whole body. The numbness in itself is more painful than any any emotion.
Was just about to say this. This hit me really hard on an emotional level, it sums up basically everything you feel (or try to feel) and think when severely depressed. It was one of those few scenes where I stop whatever I'm doing and watch in awe.
A lot of you think that she was describing Nell's depression but personally I disagree. I feel like she felt nothing because that's whats left of Nell. Literally empty. Her body is just there. The rest of her is left at Hill house.
Claire Bridget Villegas that’s likely the actual reason she felt nothing when she touched Nells body how ever the parallel with how someone who suffers from depression feels is undeniable and likely what the writers wanted to draw a connection to.
It was both. It was the fact that nothing was left in Nell, but if you've ever suffered from depression it is also a CLEAR allusion to what someone with that disease experiences. I personally have never seen any show describe it better.
@@EvangelionlovrIt's unbelievable how so many people think Theo is talking about depression. Depression is not a feeling of nothing. I have depression. It's a feeling of sadness. And yes we feel hopeless at times. But not nothing. It's so obvious here that Theo is talking about feeling the nothing of Nell because it's just her body. It's the feeling of after death. It's what makes sense here.
I find it interesting how she says "I wonder if that's what she felt" referring to Nell in the past tense but then says "if that's what mom feels" in the present tense
Didn't knew who Kate Siegel was before "The Haunting of Hill House"... and she SLAYED with this particular scene/monologue... one of the rawest performances I've seen in any media, and she glowed showcasing the nakedness of the fear of death, loneliness and the darkness of human soul. And is exactly how it feels when you loose someone, pulling yourself together when you're tearing apart. Respect to Kate Siegel. "Theo" was a very strong yet complex character!
Most may not know but people who acknowledge and think of death constanstly, this is what they feel. This is the feeling the ironically drives many to suicide
So this isn’t healthy? Because this scene was the scariest to me when first watching the show. Hell, I was, from then on, drawn to Theo because I could identify so much with her.
This scene was hands down the best in the season. The raw desperation in her voice was just powerful. There was some really good acting in this series, but this was my favorite. The first time through I was just floored.
This scene was so powerful that I had to rewind and rewatch it a couple of times. I’m an atheist, I’ve accepted in my mind the idea that there’s nothing after death, but it still sometimes terrifies me when I catch myself thinking what it must be like to feel nothing and be nothing. The way Theo describes it is hands down the best way I’ve seen it described on screen. How even shame, grief and fear is infinitely better than feeling absolutely nothing in the dark. It highlights to me why life even at its worst is precious, because eventually it ends. Not to mention the acting is superb. I wish I had watched this series so much sooner.
The end is coming for us all regardless so the life part is only short so in the scheme of things it doesn't make much difference if its long or short, because its tiny compared to eternity. I had a near death experience & I felt EXACTLY what she was discribing, the worse bit is I was aware of nothing, I was also aware I was dead. Of course I didn't fully die otherwise I wouldn't be here to stay this. But I felt dead, my heart & breathing had stopped, my life had flashed before my eyes & I my brain felt like an old TV screen going off, to a tiny dot that vanished. The silence was deafening. It was utter nothing & it did not feel good at all. I was suicidal before that, but I got put off the idea, I was an atheist too, but then I read lots about near death experiences, & they so often fitted with peopled religious beliefs. Maybe all awareness goes after a few minutes, maybe those last minutes are manifestations of our earthly beliefs, but I felt the trap of some kind of soul deprived nothing, I worried it was purgatory, & while I am now an agnostic & not fully Christian, I am spiritual & it really helps. Even if its only for those last few seconds. I don't ever want to feel that bad again. Plus I lost the love of my life to cancer, & after losing a soulmate its hard to believe they don't exist & to carry on living. I like to believe my loved one is with God, even though eternal life freaks me out because I have depression & I don't want to carry on feeling that, but I hope for the sake of my loved one as they loved life so much. They deserve it, even if I have to suffer it.
I wholeheartedly agree! This scene was everything to me. And it was the moment that I started to see the show differently. This has been one of the most well written shows that I've seen. And the acting, in this scene alone, is fantastic!
This is one of the best scenes I've seen that accurately describes depression. I've never been able to describe it, and this hits the nail on the head. It's not just about feeling sad. It's about trying to feel SOMETHING.
I just finished this series and this scene was so powerful and so unexpected that you really do have to just sit and listen the first time you watch it. Thanks for uploading it.
I want to rewatch this series strictly to see it with different eyes. But I replayed this scene a couple of times because it was such a pivotal point to understanding everything.
Since people are offering their interpretations, I'll offer mine: I believe that what Theo felt is what the afterlife is: nothing, black, and empty. Theo has always been able to feel things, she even takes some sort of pride in it. This was the first time she couldn't rely on her emotions that have always been with her; this is the first time that she couldn't feel something and what she could feel was a different type of nothingness. She explains it herself: She would rather feel that horrible shame than that type of nothingness again.
Well put, "different type of nothingness". For years I've tried to explain that void but saying "nothingness, empty, despair...etc" doesn't mean anything to someone who hasn't felt that different type that is so empty there aren't even words for that feeling, or rather state of being.
This is the character monologue for me that effects me the most. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I’ve been to that point in my life when I just felt numb and it feels awful. You’d rather feel anything, even pain, because it’s better than feeling numb.
Depression and Clinical depression are VERY different. Almost everyone feels some form of depression in their lives, but what Nell suffered from was clinical depression. The literal reason she felt nothing was because of Nell being dead and there being nothing left in her lifeless body, but the parallel to what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression is impossible to ignore.
Oh probably one of the most emotional moments between a family, two sisters. Do everyone notice when she tried to prove herself innocent none but her own sister by saying "I didn't see him" and her eyes fabulous acting.
As a suicide survivor (my younger sister-I loved her so SO much but she was bipolar and a clinical narcissist and didn’t give two shits about how she hurt our family) this show hit me very hard. The media rarely depicts what it’s truly like to deal with a “problematic” family member and what woundedness and mistrust and scars are created from years of broken promises and shattered false hope. It’s extremely refreshing to see a show actually stand up and say anything other than “well gee, they’re family, guess we go down with that ship! :)” because fuck you the world doesn’t work like that. This is shit I experienced first hand and I became numb, angry, and deeply bitter to my core. I also saw a LOT of myself in Theo. Down to the coping mechanisms and the breakdown. Very, very intense. Sorry if this is a bit... much-the scene just hit me pretty hard.
I've found this video helpful when trying to describe my major depressive dissociation to people. It astonished me when I first saw this because it's the closest description I've ever seen.
I'm currently re-watching this exceptional show and came here after episode 8 to say that this scene in particular was so powerful, so full of emotions to the point you can feel what the protagonist is going through. Kate Siegel is awesome, I really hope to see her more!
Watching this two months after my mother passed away was... depressing, to say the least. "What if thats what it is for all of us, when the time comes?" Oof.
the power this scene holds , i feel Theo and Nell the most in this whole show.... it just resonates with me thinking though out my whole little life. Take one day at a time and feel free. 🧸🎈
Darkness, numbness, alone... i'd add cold, eternal emptiness and the dread of having lost connection with yourself, and all life. Overflow of anguish and the most unbearable pain, but not in body, because you're a speck of light, floating in space with no control - forever, with no destination. She comes close though. I was there, could only describe it as the void. No sound, no energy or vibration no life. No words for it really...
Hace meses vi esta serie y la ame. Hace dos días mi padre falleció de un cáncer terminal, volver a ver esta escena es como si me dieran un puñetazo en el medio del pecho...
Thank you for uploading this. This scene is so intense. One of my favorite scenes of the entire season. This and Nell’s confetti speech in the red room
A lot of people are talking about feeling nothing in their depression. I find it interesting how different peoples depression can be. For example, mine was just absolute pain and sadness. Nothingness here and there, but the majority pain.
It’s interesting to watch this about darkness and nothing being something bad but then also watching the very end of DARK when Jonas’ mom talks about her nightmare where everything went dark and there was no yesterday, today, tomorrow, anything but it was a good feeling.
Pat i would say the characters were a lot less traumatised in Bly manor. Hill house it’s set after the trauma whereas Bly Manor is set mostly before the trauma. You get a glimpse of it in the last episode of Bly though. I think they’re both very good just very different
The atmosphere in the nighttime scenes in this particular episode felt much creepier than most of the other ones. They felt otherworldly. This might be one of the best episodes of the season, although I know the popular opinion is that most of the earlier ones are the best.
This isn't about depression lol it is about being in that empty void of darkness for all eternity after death. She even says it. It makes the scene much more terrifying.
It is absolutely a metaphor for depression. Just like the scene when nell is talking about how she was screaming and asking for help and no one could see her. That scene and this one are both metaphors. It’s exactly how depression feels. Like nothing. Like your an empty shell and invisible to the rest of the world.
We all know Katie Siegel stole this scene and did a phenomenal job! And as someone who has struggled, is struggling, with depression… yes this monologue hits. But also… let’s please give it up to Elizabeth Reaser as well… blank cold face… but at the end… there’s a single tear running down her cheek! This entire show was beautifully crafted and acted!
I almost died once, for a few seconds/minutes I did. And thisis what I felt. It was exactly this. She discribed it so well this scene fucked me up. It was a long time ago & while it scared the crap out of me at the time & I couldn't slept for days as for the first time in my life I suddenly feared death, I did get over it. I rarely think of it now. But the worse part of it was that I was acutely aware of the nothingness. I hope that awareness would have gone if I had actually died, but in that time, I knew I was on the dead side of the brink & it was the worse dark void of nothing imaginable. I think its different for different people. But for me it was that. Next time I hope its more of a calling home to be reunited with my dead loved one.
Some may describe this as death But Death has no feeling and some describe it as depression it’s similar but Worse I it describe hell separation from God and all that is good and warming to the Soul
