I'm 50. Spent my whole life on drugs and alcohol. Not to mention my mental health history. 8 months sober. This song absolutely rings true and hits a chord deep inside
When I started dating my wife, I showed her this song, and I sat there and cried as she listened to it. I told her I know I'm broken, I have issues, and they come with me. If you want to leave now I understand. She stayed and embraces every part of me. I am lucky I found her.
I love Jelly Roll man gets in front of the senate and asks for them to do something about the fentanyl crisis because he understands from his past what it’s doing to America. God bless him
I lost my beautiful son to addiction 2 yrs ago. I’ve heard all of these desperate words from his mouth. Trauma and debilitating depression are real accelerators to addiction. We don’t see the feelings of unworthiness and feeling unlovable. We don’t see the torment in their minds of using to escape but in doing so, they hurt the ones that love them. I don’t have guilt bc my son knew I was there fighting with him, supporting him. He knew I loved and treasured him. My only regret is that in my tunnel-visioned focus on trying to save him, I didn’t understand his side of it, until he was gone. It breaks my heart to know the mental anguish and pain that he went through everyday!! TJ was a beautiful soul, and he will live on in all the best parts of me!! Be kind, empathetic and understanding!!
From runner12: @belairbum I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. I commend you for being there for him and supporting him and loving him unconditionally. Despite his addiction I’m sure that meant a lot to him. I love how you say that he was a beautiful soul and the best parts of him will live on through you! You are courageous and strong and I pray for continued healing as you as you share those amazing parts of your son with the world!
From Micro: @belairbum My friend. There is no doub that your son, TJ, knew how much you loved him and how much you tried. To support him, to understand his pain, to offer a caring and loving presence in his life through this terrible adversity he was battling with. How much you are a beautiful, caring parent who will never give up on their son, even after death has hit your life. As you've expressed so well, addictions, trauma, utter feelings of worthlessness can be difficult to wrap our head around when we are not the one living it firsthand. It's a deep, complex combination that can make one display opposite behaviors, conflicting thoughts, and hide so much of their own heart even to the people they love. Oftentimes, when you are in a position of witnessing the damages it creates in the life of someone you love, you will also only see what they allow you to see. There is this duality deep inside between wanting to be saved but also not, wanting to be seen but also feeling safer while hiding away from others sight. Aspiring to experience something different and so much better, while also feeling undeserving of it. It's hard to express and to understand on both sides. TJ will not be forgotten, and yes, absolutely yes, he keeps on living through you. Through this beautiful soul of yours, his spark keeps on shining. Thank you for sharing parts of your story and who he is here. For sharing his name and letting us, letting this world, know who he was. :heart:
@@HeartSupport Wow. Your words just flow so smoothly, while being poignant and profound. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear all of that!! Your response has truly touched my heart. Thank you!!
The first time I heard that I heard this song I cried- I just wanted to wrap my arms around this man and give him the most heart felt hug and tell him that he was worthy 🥰
This song saved my life! I had never heard of Jelly Roll until my psychologist daughter sent me the link. Some people I know struggled to understand how listening to a song that sounded depressing to them good help me with depression but it means a lot to know I am not alone. I am much better in recent years because I finally made the effort to make an effort in life.
57 and not sober. I drink way too much. A 2 time widower with way too many memories I wish I could forget. As well as a 2 time combat deployed veteran. This song is a living embodiment of how I feel
Take the first step….go to a meeting. Doesn’t have to be AA., can be N.A. or another recovery meeting….you will be embraced with arms wide open and it’ll be the first step to healing! You’ve got this!
I never joined the service because even as a young man I knew I would never come back "right". I have so much respect and admiration for the folks that do, and so much empathy for when they come back. I'm trying to be sober myself, and I don't even have a valid reason to not in comparison to most anyone who has served. None the less all I do is keep trying, and I hope you do to because if nothing else we're all human, and all we can do is our best. Thank you for your service, thank you for putting yourself out there, and I'm sorry for the things you're going through. I can't even imagine.
Thank you for your service. My cousin is a Marine that was Kia in Iraq in 03. Lots of boys didn't make it home. Don't give up man. You're a warrior. If you won't fight for yourself then fight for your brother's who didn't come home. Live the life they didn't get to. Take that step man. You're worth more than you know. God bless you brother.
You have to be one of the strongest motherfuckers ever to still be kicking after all that. I wouldn't have survived half of it. Such an unimaginable weight you carry.
Jelly Roll openly singing about this is so inspiring so many people in recovery feel embarrassed over there past. The truth is we have overcome something that was trying to kill us and by sharing those feelings of fear we show others they are alone and they can recover too. God bless you for your work ❤
I remember the first time I saw Jelly roll was 3 years ago at Louder than Life and he brought a 6-year-old girl and her dad on stage to sing this song and that man single-handedly won over a giant crowd of metalheads and it was beautiful plus he was really respectful, plus he bought everyone shots at Headbanger's Hall
In 2021, we lost our middle son who claimed that this was his favorite song. He was always upbeat and always there to help anyone. Totally blindsided when we heard that he couldn't take anymore of the relationship that he was end. He was found with a rifle by his side. Folks, connect with your family and friends. Look deep. Now that our son is gone, we see subtle hints. Put down your damn phones and get off of social media and love who you got. They need you
From Riverbats: @josephkirklandsr9221 I just wanted to say that your comment means so much to me. As a parent, I always worry that I'm not doing enough to connect. I'm so sorry for your loss. It really means something that you chose to write about it here for the purpose of helping others. I can feel the love you feel for your son in this post. It must be so painful to look back and, in hindsight, be able to closely examine things you couldn't have known to look at. I understand that feeling. It makes sense to wonder what you missed. You sound like someone who cares though. I know I'm never sure if I'm paying enough attention my own child's feelings. Thank you again for writing this. It helped me. If you want to talk more about it, I want to hear it.
From Splashtheotter: @josephkirklandsr9221 I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your son. Thank you for writing us and you are not alone. It is okay to feel what you are feeling right now. We are here for you and we want nothing but the best for you going forward. As you stated, its important to love who we have and maintain our shared connectedness with them. Please continue to write us here if you need it. Splash
From KyleGouldOfficial: @josephkirklandsr9221 Hello @HeartSupport_Fans Opening up is one of the best things to do. Showing that love is what heartsupport and us are here for. You're not alone here and im sorry for your loss. Sometimes we may feel like we are not doing enough for them. There better light with time and moving forward would be the best decision. Hold Fast.
From tromboness: @josephkirklandsr9221 A lot of the times the kindest people have the hardest internal struggles, and they don't even let it show. Everyone needs connection to people who care about them, people that they are able to share their struggles with. It is so important to be that kind of person, someone that will check-in with someone when something seems off. Thank you for emphasizing the need for real connections. Take Care.
This was the last song my Uncle ever sent to anyone in his life, he sent it to my Mother and Two days later he suddenly died, his pancreas failed because he drank himself to death after a divorce where his wife took everything from him. He died on 8/2/22. The only person In the world who understands me
Currently going through a divorce and trying very hard every moment of every day to not pick up a drug or drink. Thank you for your comment 🙏. I wish nothing but the best for you especially with your loss. Keep up your strength.
@DisturbedInOhio a good ol' RU-vid rabbit hole got me to here and I gotta say I'm proud of you man. Hope you're still doing good. I'm in the same boat and fighting the same fight. Had to pick up a side job and grab extra hours at my full time.... the risk of a dui to my line of work is huge in keeping me away from the bottom of a bottle (not enough time to sleep it off some days and if I started in at night, I'd probably still be over on my way to work in the AM). I'm not in favor of any drunk driving to be fair. Can't keep from falling into a bag of powder every so often in an effort to keep moving. My partying days are way behind me and I haven't gone off the rails in this past year and a bit, but I absolutely hate this part of my current life. And it's a vicious cycle.... Basically, all I'm trying to say, is if you can't see any other option but to give in to an itch, reach out to someone and get an assist on finding anything besides caving in. There are a whole bunch more of us in these boats all around the place.
@@AndyEightSevenFive I appreciate you reaching out. I've made it through another day without numbing myself. So, the pushing will continue. Hopefully, we all can continue to be better.
@@eric-. Thank you for checking in, even though it would be easy not to. I'm doing better than I expected. I haven't picked up anything and I am grateful for the willpower I didn't realize That I still had. Thanks again, my friend! I hope that you are doing well yourself, you deserve great positive vibes for being selfless. It means a lot.
This song really makes me think about connection and addiction. That one of the biggest factors (perhaps THE biggest) in whether or not someone becomes an addict is whether they have strong social connections. And then, when they are addicts, it becomes a loop that's hard to get out of because they push people away.
I love jelly roll his early stuff more so, when this song first came out I was going through my divorce, it really spoke to my soul, 4 years later I still cry hearing this song
I meet Jellyroll and his wife maybe 10yrs ago after a little show while he was doing his rap shows. Hands down 2 of the most humble people around and so nice. Even after a show he still takes time to chat and say hello.
This song makes me cry…..but seriously feels as if he truly gets how I feel…like it explains me very clearly. 11months sober from Alcohol. Having C-PTSD….most can’t believe I’m still alive! Same….but I’m happy you understand this song because soo many could/can benefit from just 1 listen to this song!
Im 47...suffered unimaginable torture that I won't dive into on a YT comment from a very early age. I struggled all of my life with suicidal thoughts and severe depression, and only recenly finally started to seek help after destroying every relationship I've had, with every person in my life. Jelly Roll, NF, and others...literally helped me get through some dark nights. I watch alot of reaction channels, and this is the first time coming across your reactions. I started watching at midnight....its now 5am. Keep doing this....your reactions and breakdowns are perfect, and I can't wait to hear more reactions, especially from either of those artists. ❤
I been listening to Jelly Roll back when he still had corn roles and a gold grill. Watching his transformation into a world famous singer and play The Grand Old Opry is amazing to see. As a Tennessee native I can’t wait till he does another concert at home in Nashville. I lost my older sister 4 years ago to addiction. I still catch myself from time to time getting ready to send her a text about how my kids have hit a new milestone of achievement. Jelly Roll has a lot of songs that resonate deeply within one’s soul if they listen to words and not just hear it.
This song cut me deep. With my addictive behaviour, my wife became a victim and the “lost cause” parts of this song hit me deep in my chest. Such powerful lyrics from a powerful vocalist.
I have been on a four year battle with congestive heart failure. It has been so hard, and this song is exactly how I feel in the dark bad days. But I keep fighting and always will. no matter how broken I feel
This song, along with most Jelly Roll songs, saved me in a time that was dark and frightening. This was on repeat for a good four months it’s still hard to not cry.
I love this song and Jelly Roll. This is transcendent. I’m 56 and it hits me like it does anyone else. Saw him live here in Detroit. Amazing man and talent.
Man, Kelly just lord have mercy! I’ve never related to an artist so much! Every single day I can listen to this and cry because I am screaming this. I can’t wait to see jelly in concert, I’m going to cry so hard. Just god this song
Your recognition that addiction is based on deep rooted pain. Is spot on. As a 42 year old single, never married and no kids, I have to drink and smoke everyday to numb my pain and suppress my rage from all of the intolerance and ignorance in my life. Keep up the good work and keep cooking!!!
From ThriceTheThird: @tinyaod9754 Hope you can find some relief to the things you are going through that are the source of the intolerance and ignorance in your life. It's never fun to have high levels of these stressors in life, but we are here if you ever want to share more about what you are going through. Addiction is a very tough battle. Hope you're day today is going alright!
From Micro: @tinyaod9754 Hey friend, Thank you so much for reaching out here. I imagine that being 42 and single, never married with no kids must feel living a life that doesn’t always fit the mold society sets for us. That it also feels particularly lonely at times. To look back, reflect on the past and feeling like something didn't work there because of the pain you've been carrying with you and knowing in this life, which is incredibly heartbreaking. It's like you’re walking a path that others don’t quite understand. And when you’ve faced intolerance and ignorance along the way, it makes sense to seek ways to cope and survive as a result. Using alcohol and cigarettes to numb the pain is indeed a way to survive, to find a break from the chaos and disappointment that life throws your way. It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not something you signed up for, but here you are, trying to make the best of it. If you feel like you're waking up every day to a life that isn't the one you wish to have, then life itself might feel like a living nightmare at times. It’s not just about the buzz or the smoke in the end; it’s about trying to drown out the frustration and anger that keep creeping in. It makes sense. It's a profoundly human reaction, and in no way it would ever indicate that you would be broken, or that it would be too late for you to reach a life you aspire to get. I hope you do find moments of peace amidst all of this. I hope you can see, through this pain that you feel, how much the way your life if does not define you - neither condition your future. Even if it's really hard to see it, or even to believe it when someone else shares this truth with you. You deserve to feel okay, to find some relief from all the heaviness you’re carrying. It’s okay to take things one day at a time, to give yourself grace and understanding as you keep on trying. To also take time to acknowledge what you *have* accomplished, and all the areas of your life in which you have grown. It's not always visible to the eye, it's not always about things we would consider being important, it can be very subtle at times - but it's still there, and it's still worth acknowledging. You matter friend. You belong.
Jelly is a great guy and had really turned his life around. Hopefully other people are inspired by this guy to better their lives. I think Shawn James's song through the valley would be a good reaction video the lyrics are pretty dark but it's a great song.
smoking section. solid song by jelly roll. when a friend of mines mother died, after they took her away we sat in the car and listened to this song and it had such a strong impact on all four of us, we all came out in the middle of the night to be with that friend. jelly makes such impactful music with a deep message in it
I'm a recovering drug addict and I have been sober for 4 and a half years now and I'm also bipolar and I have a lot of other mental health issues I have been in and out of mental institutions, hospitals, rehab's,jails and prisons for the majority of my life and now I'm really trying very hard to get my life together and I'm doing a lot better I'm sober and I have a good job and I have a nice apartment and I live alone and pay my own bills. I have been really trying very hard to get better and this song and my therapist and my sponsor and music and watching Taylor palmbry reaction to videos and listening to her positive and inspiring words are really helpful to me and this song really hits hard to me and right now I'm going through a lot of depression and music and comedy has,is and always will be a crutch for me when I'm dealing with my depression
Its the only peace I've ever found. Ptsd, deppresion and anxiety from my job(paramedic) and going through a divorce. Been living this song for a while now.
I hope you are doing better today. Never give up on yourself because you are a good person no matter what you are going through. Sending out Prayers, and Good wishes for you to hang in there
From Brian_Bishoff: @exabysussairsoft Yeah that song and how he sings it is gut wrenching and so powerful! I wish you strength in your struggles. I've been there and and know that greater happiness and peace are possible in the long run. Keep reaching out here and any place that you can get support.
From Micro: @exabysussairsoft Life can really make you feel like it just tried to suffocate you at times. You try your best to keep your head up and be still on your feet, but it feels like having in front of you this unstoppable force that brings one disaster after another to you. There is no doubt that in the midst of this storm you try as you can to survive, to keep on breathing despite the lack of oxygen, and that in itself shows so much of your resilience and desire to keep on embracing and believing in what good this life could still offer you. But it's so hard and so defeating when you're in the eye of the storm. You see all the damage, all the chaos around you, feeling you just can never have a damn break to finally catch your breath. I've felt the way you do at various times of my life too - feeling like everything just crashes down, going from one loss to another and having not enough time to process something that another event would occur. It's the type of experience that makes you feel surprised as to how much you can endure, and how deep the soil can really be. I remember thinking multiple times that I couldn't imagine I'd ever feel like I would be hitting the rock bottom of the rock bottom... like a neverending pit. You think you hit the deepest level, then life pushes you even deeper... it's heartbreaking. It makes sense to wish to be saved in the middle of what you have been experiencing. These are heavy struggles that can be awfully overwhelming, on top of the loss you've been experiencing with your divorce. You've been knowing massive changes in your life and it will take time, patience and grace for yourself to find your way through. One day, my friend, you will look back to now and see how much you've walked, how much you've accomplished, how much you've grown, and you will feel proud of yourself for letting yourself experience the other side of what feels neverending. One where is more sun, more peace, no storm. I'm rooting for you. :heart:
The goosebumps I get every time I listen to this is insane. It also brings me back to when my mom died from Covid on top of cancer. She was my best friend at the same time. I just felt lost to the point when I was hospitalized for Covid I didn’t care if I died from it but now I’m glad i made it to the other side of that darkness
This song always hit me. I often feel like a lost cause. Because I had so much pain and therapy in my life and still am fighting day to day. I am trying my best but it's hard to believe that it will get better.. Because it's so hard to fight everyday and function with adhd, depression and other mental health problems in a world that's not made for people like me. Thank you for reacting to that song.
From bmao: @OokamiKaii Hey there- thank you so much for opening up about what you're going through. That takes strength and courage, and I am truly proud of you for taking those steps to find healing. It is so incredibly hard to go through life feeling like you are fighting a losing battle every day. The pain becomes a part of your life and you can't even imagine what your life would look like without the hurt- you start to lose the vision of your healed self that you are fighting for. That struggle is poignant and cuts deep. It becomes so hard to fight when it feels like the attacks from the pain never end. You are giving the fight your all, yet your opponents still come in waves that last forever. Though the battle of feeling lost feels endless and like the pain will never fade, I want to assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may feel too far off, but I can guarantee you that you will eventually begin to feel the warmth of the light coming through. You will one day step out of the darkness and bathe in the fresh light of healing. Your journey there has been long and hard-fought, and it may still be for a while, but that day is coming. You will survive the dark. You are not a lost cause and you are an absolute gift to this world. As you continue to go through each day and become stronger and stronger, you will learn more and more how to function with your adhd and depression. Even though you may struggle, that does not mean that you will always struggle. Your life matters so much because there is truly only one you. You are the only version of you that has ever and will ever exist, and the world deserves to have you exactly how you are. Thank you for being you. If you ever need more help or a listening ear, please reach out. We care about you so much. Holdfast- we believe in you.
One of the reactions i seen from people on youtube that made this song hit harder from me was from the charismatic voice. She said from the parts where he is not singing just harmonizing "ooo oo ooo" part it was almost like a lullaby he is singing to himself and that just floored me cause it kind of is after all the pain and feelings he let out he needs a moment to calm himself.
Elvis Presley once said “im so lonesome I could cry” was the saddest song he’d heard in his life. this is the saddest song I’ve ever heard. I lost a cousin to addiction. It’s chilling I can hear him in this song.
Not every song you break down directly relates to what I'm going through but every video has at least one small piece or nugget of a tool that has helped me figure out where I am. Once I figured out where I was I didn't feel lost. As soon as I didn't feel lost the fear that used to soak me through started to dry. That's where I am now, not dry yet but not dripping and cold either. One day, maybe soon, I'll feel warm like a freshly laundered shirt. I wasn't lost, just temporarily misplaced. Even being soaked with fear I realized that, like walking through the rain, you can only get so wet. The sun will come out to dry you eventually. That might not be tomorrow and that's ok. Thank you for making this space feel so open and inviting. It's a place we can come and scream into the abyss and get a response that's so much more useful than just an echo.
This is a great song and honestly helps me knowing I’m not the only one that feels this way. If you wanna hear another good song listen to Dax dear alcohol
I became sober from alcohol 2 yrs ago on 5/9/2024. Him & Tom Macdonald's music gave me strength. I shared this with my wife, and we absolutely found 100% of your message relatable in every way. I've started a loosely held together group of Men, where we can come to check in. I call it One Step, bc that's all you have to be willing to, to take part. The understanding is that we each hold strengths where others might be lacking. I truly believe we can heal each other. It's not AA, but it is if you want it to be; is not NA, but it is if you need it to be; is not therapy, but that exactly what it is. If I'm being honest, I need your help. I don't know that I have the tools to properly be able to benefit everyone, in the limited ways I have available to me. I would love to find out more about any information you could possibly lead me to, so that I can help these men.
This song is in my Playlist. It kind of explains me. I'm 50, have had 4 heart attacks and just had my 5th Stent, I have ulnar nerve entrapment, and lower and mid back problems. Depression sucks. Also on large doses of painkillers and rso. So yes, this song speaks to me...😢
From Micro: @subtleaggression My friend. My heart goes out to you and I can't imagine how painful this must have been for you. You are in my thoughts today. @ www.loom.com/share/160950efbb0a4aaa8c73620d72355a88
: This song is almost a anthem for some of us! I just found this channel and really enjoy it, very cathartic and relatable. My daughter was killed, at 14. I spent up until a few months ago living with no purpose, then woke up and found there must be a reason I did not kill myself intentionally or from a very self abusive lifestyle. I hope MAYBE somebody who is on the bottom can find the courage to rise up again. I had it all, money, fast cars, beautiful home. I now have only me and the will to rise again. It has taken me years of self destruction and anger, hating everyone but in reality I hated myself for something I could not control. I was so angry for what I lost, I forgot what I had. So for anyone in a similar situation, out of everything bad comes good. We just need the desire to seek it and the courage to accept it. I never knew what true love was and years after my daughters death, I now know what it is. Her death has given me a new lease on life. To ANYONE in this please reach out immediately do not wait and do it yourself all alone. That path is treacherous and no street lamps to guide you in the darkness that is oh so real. Life is as bright as the colors of our world. Cheers,
It's the pain of always being too late or not being/ having enough for all those who are an intricate part of the castle you've built around you... when you watch your entire village burn too the ground and disipate.. you can only see yourself as the flames that burnt it all...after repetitions, your entirety hollow inside, more so with no one or anything too even begin to rebuild... numb it all, wash the rest away, keep everyone out, but show all your nothing left. and pray anyone who cares any saw it all, so they don't lose like you have..
Thank you! So grateful to discover your channel. I feel this video was written for me when I discovered it a couple of years ago. Dysfunctional past from as far back as I can remember. My addiction has been food, and at 64 still is my daily couping means. I'm not sure I'll ever feel good enough. Truthfully, I'm not sure I even know what that means anymore. Just couping daily. Thanks for listening.
28 years clean and I remember THIS pain like it was yesterday! The last 3 years have been my hardest in sobriety. When I lost my dad, I lost such a huge part of me, and I have often wanted to numb my way through it, but I still KNOW how my story will end if I do.😢😢😢
From KyleGouldOfficial: @notanormi Hi there You're amazing for trying to leaving it and fleeing from it losing a love one is a hard thing to go through. But i got to say you're not alone in this struggle or the temptation of this struggle you can keep fighting through it. Almost like you are fighting your biggest opponent ever in a boxing match you got to win the fight. Even though you're love one is not around he still loved you and want the best in your life. Don't let the temporary numbness and pain of the drinking you have to move forward . You're again not in the struggle alone and can keep moving through this.
From Firebourne: @notanormi From 4-19-2017 until now I have lost 58 people; family, friends, neighbors, roommate, etc. With so many dying I don't know one even grieves so many losses. All we can do is take each day as it comes and deal with the harsh days a little at a time. I had a lot of trauma, grief and loss in the past few years due to my town fire and covid-19 on top of so much grief and loss from deaths. Life can be hard as hell, but I keep pushing forward through it all despite the storms of life. :latin_cross:
From OmarM: @notanormi Hey friend, I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you've been going through over the pas few years. Losing your dad, after so many years of sobriety must have been a huge blow. Feeling like you need to numb the pain is understandable, but your strength in resisting that urge is inspiring. I'm sure your dad was beyond proud of you until the end. The fact that you've remained clean for 28 years even in times of darkness shows how committed you are, it's ok to feel pain, to cry to grieve, these emotions are normal and part of healing. You aren't alone, it's ok to reach out for help when you need to. If you ever need to talk about anything, don't hesitate to send another message friend.
I relate very much to this song. Not so much with the drinking but I suffer from severe panic/anxiety disorder and undiagnosed autism. I isolate and pray out loud and smoke and thats the only way my brain knows how to cope. Its hard for people in my life to understand why i cant change the way I cope so easily or why my mind acts so irrationally. Its isolating in itself so i can understand why my brain decided it felt more comfortable Panicking alone where no one can see me. I am blessed in so many ways and i know this but this is a very lonely thing to constantly deal with on a daily basis. To be a prisoner in your body and for you to have moments where you have ZERO control of the way your brain and body react to fear. It is scary and makes me feel misunderstood and alone, even with my loved ones trying their best to support me and help me. Thank you for the way you broke down his feelings because you explained it exactly how it feels sometimes. Glad I found your channel!! With Love, Kimmie
From Micro: @user-gi1ps3yu9n Thank you so much for sharing these parts of your story, friend. There's so many times when we carry our struggles on our own, away from others sight - and therefore judgment -, but it's also safe and healthy to share our vulnerable side when it's appropriate to us. By opening up about what you've been through, you're taking a brick off this walll of loneliness and isolation. It might not feel like a big thing when it's done through a RU-vid comment, but really you can be proud of yourself for choosing to write down all of this here. You have without a doubt been carrying your share of struggles, and it makes sense to feel overwhelmed and alone with it, especially when other people in your life don't seem to understand what it entails to feel things the way you do. As you said, you can know rationally that you are living in good circumstances and surrounded by great people, but anxiety/panic don't work this way. It pushes so many buttons in our mind and body that are emotionally taxing, and not grounded in rationality. Somehow, it's what makes it so hard for so many people to understand its reality: from the outside, it doesn't make sense and/or doesn't seem logical. Thankfully, there are people who can understand even without having experienced anxiety or panic firsthand, but it surely takes practice and stretching one's own sense of empathy. For what it's worth, I personally relate and understand the things you describe. I have only struggled with panic at very low and stressful times of my life, but anxiety on the other hand has always been present, like a neverending background speaker in my brain. It keeps on instilling so many fears, doubts and shame on a daily basis, making social interactions difficult and preventing me from living the life I aspire to get in many aspects. As you said, it is really scary to see yourself thinking, feeling and reacting a certain way while having no control over it. It feels like being stuck in your own body but being pushed on the passenger side. You are somehow forced to witness things happening without any control over it, like someone else was piloting everything. It's such a brutal experience to feel like you don't have ownership of what's happening inside of you, and how it can be seen by others on the outside. I do hope that, in the midst of this, you manage to cultivate as much as possible a spirit of patience, grace and love ot yourself. What your anxiety and panic manifests are your body and mind's way to say that needs have to be attended inside of your heart. It's not really great at explaining what's going on with proper words, but at least that's the way I personally like to see it. It helps me see that my anxiety is not there to sabotage me, but more a signal that I need to be gentle with myself even more than the day before. By ensuring time for *me*, by listening to my body's sensations, by journaling my thoughts every once in a while. Making space for myself when I seem to push "me" away a little bit too much, or for too long. May you find peace and healing through this. You are definitely not alone, my friend. I'm thankful for you and the fact that you've shared these personal experiences here. Hold fast. -Micro
Two years ago, my brother took his own life after a prolonged struggle with depression and severe social anxiety. That event plunged me into a profound sadness that, unfortunately, will always be a part of me.This channel and community have been a great support during many difficult days, and I will always be very grateful.
From Becca_E: @ryanbass9582 I am so sorry. Your pain matters so much to me, and to other folks as well. I'm thankful you have communities of support, because you deserve it. May love and peace and hope meet you in the sadness.
From OmarM: @ryanbass9582 I'm so sorry for your loss. It's normal that such a sadness lingers or stays with you from such an event. Grief is a long long process and it's ok to take time, there's no right way to grieve. I'm glad to hear that you have an outlet and source of support. I hope you know that if you ever need to speak there's people who will listen, you're not alone friend.
From Micro: @ryanbass9582 Thank you for sharing about all of this here, friend. Here's a voice reply for you: www.loom.com/share/2a72545a733442ddb4638799f42bd0f2?sid=1d9c0037-1fd5-482f-9ca0-19f6c2936447 Hold Fast, -Marie-Anne, Heartsupport Staff
This song defiantly hits home for me. Especially after I left the military after almost 20 years in. Dealing with things like PTSD anxiety and depression. I did manage to quit drinking, but I do use weed to get through most of my bad days.
From toastaintbad: @CDRhammond Hi @HeartSupport_Fans, I respect people going to the military and protecting our country. You mentioned suffering with PTSD. Not forcing on you if you don't want do it. Have you ever try to go to therapy that specialized PTSD or join a support group with veterans that have PTSD. I feel communicating my problems to my therapist helps me understand and improve my mental health. Does trauma ever go away? No, I do have a flashback once in a while. That's awesome that you are trying to quit drinking. Weed does help people with mental health issues. You made some type of progress and I'm super proud of you.
@@HeartSupport I am in a PTSD group at my local VA hospital. It's been one of the reasons I no longer feel like I have to wear hats or shirts that warn people not to approach from behind.
Jelly Roll is the man! Our stories are similar. Drug & alcohol abuse, prison, toxic relationships. Been clean and sober for 28 years now. You should look at She by him. Deals with more addiction.
Ive listened to hundreds of reviews on this song but you really put it in the point of view from his side. It speaks to me. I have so much going for me now but i still keep drinking and smoking bc im never happy. I should be, i want to be
From KyleGouldOfficial: @ryanpresley3034 Hi @HeartSupport_Fans Song is about struggling with addiction and feeling helpless. But sometimes it takes more time for us to put this in reflection because sometimes we are still coping and get over these things that we also need to work on. Heartsupport is here for you and we can be that source to open up and you're not along in this struggle and deserve to be happy. Just got to take small steps to getting through the process and thing will progress. Hold Fast.
From tromboness: @ryanpresley3034 Thank you for sharing. It is still hard to never be happy even though you have all your needs met and things are going your way. It feels like there's something wrong with you when you just can't be grateful for what you have. And it's very difficult to force yourself to be happy when you think you should be. It's okay if you don't feel the way that you think you should. It's okay to not have a specific reason for not being happy. I'm glad that you have been able to find HeartSupport. You don't need to put on a mask to make it seem like everything is a-okay.
From toastaintbad: @PiterDeVries668 Hi @HeartSupport_Fans, I can relate to this song in a personal level. Addiction is hard to fight and overcome. I struggled being sober multiple times but I'm able to handle it. Last year, I knew that I wasn't going to live this way anymore. Alcohol just makes me depressed the next day. We are both fighting this issue together so don't ever feel that you are alone suffering this problem. I'm always here to support for good and bad days in your life.
From Micro: @PiterDeVries668 This song is indeed very powerful. Its hard to feel like being a lost cause, like our expiration date would be long passed already but somehow we keep on pushing. It feels like existing without really having a life - only going through the motions of life for it has created so much numbness and hopelessness in our heart. Everything feels painful or dull, not worth it overall. You look back and feel like time has been mostly wasted and you look in front of you wondering how worse it's going to be the next day. It's so hard to keep on going when it feels like there's just no hope anymore. That WE don't have hope for ourselves. It makes you wonder how much you can endure and what life is worth for after all. Somehow, there is something powerful in this song too: it's about stating the way we feel and being aware of it. Hearing the signs within us telling us that something isn't functioning, that parts of our heart deserve to be nurtured. To be loved and cared for deeper than ever. That we *do* deserve the patience and love of the world, and first and foremost from ourselves, because man life can be soul-crushing and arduous at times. When you're aware of the pattern at play and name it for how destructive it is, you also acknowledge what you DON'T want in your life anymore, which can be such a powerful fuel for action. For healing steps. Could it be by trying new and different things, safely, sometimes even with the support of people we didn't include in this part of our world previously. I hear your pain my friend. I see you. We can make through this wild thing called life. Find our way and embrace for the good it can offer us. One step at a time. Always one step at a time. :heart:
This was a song I heard one time and immediately learned it on guitar. Kinda became an anthem of mine. For me it’s tied to an ex of mine. So very hard to listen to at times given he was “saving me”. Though that’s me being ignorant in the terms of looking for happiness in someone else vs focusing on my own. Something I’ve always struggled with. Caring about others more than myself. And I know I’m not over things yet given I put this on my watch later list to not miss it. But gotta make sure I’m emotionally stable enough to be able to hear whats being said. Thank you @heartsupport. Between the Slipknot videos and Jelly Roll now too. Right up my ally of songs/artist I use as a coping mechanism when I’m away from an instrument and can’t play. I’ve shed many tears to these videos that you do. Needed healthy tears are good. Please never stop! 💜💜💜
God Bless you J! Your music and your story just reaches in and grabs ahold of my soul. God Bless your beautiful family y’all are such an inspiration to me, I have fostered and adopted 3 children at birth whom was born addicted to so many drugs and alcohol so I pray your story will be inspiring to them as well, they have come through so much and will have many other struggles especially my oldest he also has genetic issues. I already talk to them about life and talk to them about your and Bunny’s story and all you guys have overcome.! Thank you so much Keep up Gods work
From Micro: @dennisbarker5986 My goodness, friend. Five shoulder surgeries is such a high number - I'm really sorry you've been going through this. It must have been absolutely exhausting so far to have these repeated surgeries, *and* on top of it to not see yet the results you would have expected. It's like somehow you are forced over and over to make concessions, gather all of this strength and perseverance for the perspective of relief and hope for healing... but then this hope gets crushed by an unfair reality. I can only imagine how tiring this must be for you. It makes sense to feel the way you do, and it's understandable to have a hard time when positive perspectives for the future seem to be constantly challenged like this. I'm wholeheartedly rooting for you and wish so much for you to receive some good news and find closure with what must feel right now like a neverending chapter. :heart:
March 10th was 12 years sober. At the age of 41. Yesterday was my God Daughter’s 11th birthday. Jelly speaks the truth. The person I took through the steps of recovery told me about Jelly and I am thankful for that. Jelly’s story and documentary on hula is amazing.
This is my first time hearing this song and it just hit me to a tee like I was singing along and this is my first time hearing it how does that happen... Damn🙁
You seem like a pretty great person. As someone that essentially refuses to talk to a therapist about things I probably should, someone like yourself would make me feel otherwise.
Yeah you’re absolutely on point here. I feel every point of this post. I’m beginning my wife to save me. And I hope she is able to understand the call for help
Just hit 20 years clean and sober from alcohol and herion, also just got hired at my sisters hospital to run the recovery meetings, to anyone fighting this, you can beat this.
One of the only constant experiences I've really seen in my many years of experience with addiction and recovery across a diverse range of people, to quote Vessel of Sleep Token from Ascensionism, is that "anything's better than the way I feel right now." Just wanted to share my personal interpretation of this song in my experience. Great work and powerful insight! Keep on rockin'! Rant incoming! This song illustrates my experience for years and still sometimes today in my relationship with my therapist and my loved ones who support me as the urge to push others away to save myself from the crushing weight of disappointing them and myself. I'm even taken it so far to try and heal myself in a sink or swim scenario of currently being in grad school for counseling in the hopes it will force me to find a way to heal but it still feels as if I'm just as broken and maladapted as when I first began going to counseling 13 years ago I judge my lack of growth because I've come so far and see so little growth because my confirmation bias keeps me from seeing it even though I logically know it's there. I love the burger analogy, and in my case I've been judging myself for not being done with the whole burger after all of these years. I hopefully can begin to see more realistically that I have been biting a lot of burgers or mental health challenges in a huge buffet as a mental health perfectionist and really give myself the experience of acceptance of not having everything fully healed to be able to help others. I hope this can resonate with someone and allow someone else to feel like they can be ok with not being perfect at something while simultaneously being a so-called expert of that very thing (similar to imposter syndrome). Thanks for letting me share! Much love!
My Fiancee left me at the beginning of the year after 5 1/2 years of being together. Since then, Ive drank more than I have in the past seven or eight years combined. Up until now Id have the occasional drink socially, but now I drink on the weekends to unwind from the week of fighting my thoughts, (I refuse to drink when I have work the next day) At this point Ive withdrawn myself and basically go to work, come home, eat, sleep and repeat through the week, then on the weekend I drink to drown out my thoughts. Jelly Roll nailed it, I feel like a lost cause, I feel damaged beyond repair. I saw everything with my ex and now I feel like a hollow person. I feel like Ill never recover from the heartbreak.
From Lisalovesfeathers: @deltasniper1023 When you have been with a significant other for a long period of time and it ends life feels hopeless, everything that has been your “normal” is now no more, everything you used to do as two is now just a you thing, no one to share those moments or thoughts with and it feels wrong, living with days/weeks of wrong is going to take its toll, it would cause anyone to have anxiety to feel lost, empty and want to reach out for the first thing that could take that feeling away. For you that choice is alcohol, for others it could be drugs, shopping, gambling etc its about finding an outlet where you just don’t have to think about where you are and how you feel for a little while. I commend you for recognizing this and most importantly for keeping those times to when you are not working, it would be tragic for it to impede your work life. All of the thoughts that a person can go through after a breakup put so much pressure on you, it is not a lot different to grieving the passing of a loved one, the emotions, the feelings of sadness, loss, hurt, anger and hopelessness, each one as valid as the next in both circumstances and each take time to work through. The positive news is however that you absolutely can work through all the above and one of the defining parts of grief is acceptance. It may not be a situation we choose, we want, we are happy with, but we learn to accept it and eventually move forward on to new and hopefully equally good or better things. It is an adage to say time heals all wounds but there is a lot of truth in it too. Sadly more time is what is need here it seems, I think in time your drinking will get better here too, you seem very aware of what you are doing, if you find that is getting out of control that might be the time to seek help but you are grieving friend and I am truly sorry that you are in this situation. If I could offer you advice it would be to try hard to spend more free time with other people, try to break that circle of staying in all weekend, even if you are in a friends home drinking coffee, try to get out of your house, stretch your legs and your mind and find other things to focus on (I honestly do know how hard it is) but you will feel so much better for it. You are bruised not broken and I can promise you that you are most definitely not a lost cause, you are a beautiful soul with a loving caring heart and I want to wish you all the very best and a lighter brighter future. Take good care. Lisa. X
As of this August it will 22 years sober. But for the time I was drinking, I did not drink to feel something else. I just did not want to feel. At that time when sober all I felt was pain. I can relate so mush to this song
