They’re ‘not ready’ for you (but are for someone else)

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Your partner claims they’re ‘not ready’ for a relationship, then leaps to commitment with someone else. Love Advice examines this twisted logic and explains what really occurred: #commitment #couplegoals #datingadvice
Christina writes, “How do you move on after someone left you for someone else? My ex (6 months together) said he wasn't ready for a relationship yet less than 4 WEEKS later he spends Christmas with his new love on a vacation trip abroad.) I'm heartbroken, angry, shocked, and confused. He posted it all on social media that I have now deleted. I shall remain no contact but wish I could ask him about it for answers.”
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Relationship Expert and Bestselling Author (Allowing Magnificence, Older Women/Younger Men, and Breakup Triage) Susan Winter, writes, speaks and coaches on evolutionary forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Media credits include: THE OPRAH SHOW, THE TODAY SHOW, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, ABC EVENING NEWS, THE LIST, CNN HEADLINE NEWS, BBC, COSMO, HARPERS BAZAAR, FORTUNE, FORBES, BUSINESS INSIDER, PEOPLE MAGAZINE, NEW YORK MAGAZINE, THE LONDON TIMES, MUMBAI MIRROR, IRISH TIMES, THE TIMES OF INDIA, and THE NEW YORK TIMES. In radio, Susan is a frequent guest on NPR, ABC, BBC, and CBS NEWS RADIO. Public speaking includes keynotes at the WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM, THE INTERNATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH FESTIVAL, and the CORE CLUB NYC. Her Podcast, 'The Susan Winter Show,' can be heard on Spotify, iHeart Radio, and Apple Music. www.susanwinter.net

Опубликовано:

20 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 102

@xiaonanz9411 2 года назад

A best friend of mine just told me recently that when she went on dates if the guy says he is not ready for a relationship or just wants to go with the flow, she just picked up her phone and re-download the dating app in front of him lol! Now I literally hate the phrase "not ready" in all aspects of my life, including myself whenever I feel not ready for something... So unattractive...

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@davidsisson2026 Год назад

I recently told a woman I was not ready and I was not. Even with a nice woman. I would be doing both a disservice.

@marynorth235 2 года назад

When a guy says he's not ready for a relationship, it means he's not ready for a relationship WITH YOU. He will be Friends With Benefits with you though, until he finds the one that he really wants.

@cooltoonist 2 года назад

Here's how I spin this narrative. You were simply not broken enough to stay with that partner. If you were healed in your personal boundaries, you would have no temptation to stay. You wouldn't tolerate it. That means the next person they're dating is broken enough for that jumper. You will be ok. I'm sorry that person monkey-branched, but now they have a new victim. It's not a "better" situation since that jumper has not healed their relationship honesty issues. They found someone whos too enabling of their relationship honesty issues.

@insyiwinsyi Год назад

oh my

@Larissa-of3qt 2 года назад

i f a man is freaked out of a relationship its a huge turn off for me as i am attracted to BRAVE men! Freaking out means fear. If a person can't even deal and rise above their fear, it's a huge turn off for most women! Women like strong men!

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@k.w.1459 2 года назад

“Suddenly” is synonym for secrets and details that you weren’t aware of

@janefaceinthewind6260 2 года назад

Susan, your subjects are SO different from all the other dating specialists, and they are all so, so important!! Love it to pieces! So creative and deep and wise, and so incredibly inspiring! Thank you

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Hello there! Jane, thank you so much for your sweet words! If there is any topic in particular you want me to speak on, let me know!

@noellabella05 2 года назад

@@SusanWinter what about the “he’s just not that into you” subject. (When they use words to reel you in, but don’t want more than physical and I see the women gaining these deep feelings now. As they believe all the words). Seeing this extremely much, today.

@GJ-pj4mj 2 года назад

"why setting yourself up for hurting?" this hits hard AF. I used to do that... but I discovered a new me this last year, where I after sensing the real intentions of two different men I decided to step back. Tho, was hard and painful... I felt relieved.

@nancydrew1835 2 года назад

Ive been through this, learn from my mistakes, LET THEM GO and dont let me them come back if it doesnt work out with the other person!

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

🤗

@s0ulquarius 2 года назад

Something like this happened to me a few years ago. It still stings when I think about it. In my past situation, I walked away from them after he disclosed how he really felt. I never heard from him again. Susan, you’re spot on. My past person had someone else and I think they were always there, but he finally made it official with the other person once I ended the relationship with them

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️

@SusanH4626 2 года назад

Awe that poor woman, how heartbreaking 💔. He was planning his depart and cheating.

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

I agree with you. I don’t think it happened “suddenly.”. I think he was planning on leaving the entire time and finally found the opportunity to feel safe with the new woman

@jartotable 2 года назад

Yep. I finally worked through karmically what I needed to learn from my ex and now it's the next girlfriends opportunity to learn hers with him. 😂

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Wow, brilliant, so happy for you. Thanks for your comment

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@lisellesloan3191 2 года назад

Susan, could you do a video about how to talk about defining your relationship, and setting boundaries with your partner--without sounding overbearing, risking scaring them off?

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Have you searched my channel for boundary videos? I have quite a few!

@SkedgySky 2 года назад

This lady keeps it real. 💯 Unbelievable content and truth.

@roxie7453 2 года назад

She is not just rich as the new one. Sad truth

@sammielisabeth4928 2 года назад

I have just been through a situation where I was the tool to make my partner's ex jealous (unbeknownst to me) and it worked. This guy absolutely lovebombed me when I was in a vulnerable stage in my life and roped me in. As soon as his ex caught wind that he was in a "relationship" with me, they came crawling back and I got dumped. Yikes. Still licking my wounds from that experience.

@dmalina3 2 года назад

The most painful experience 😥 I know, it's ego, but still

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️

@thisgustin 2 года назад

26:46, reminder. Well said SW. Invokes self reflection for me here. "Don't want the other person MORE than what YOU want." 38:23-38:57, this is what seems like what happened.

@womenwhodate7643 2 года назад

This is my favorite channel. I especially like it when you explain everything so nicely ❤️ I wish you a lot of success with the channel and happy life.

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

The same to you!!! May you have a delightful and blessed 2022!

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@dangfd551 Год назад

33:40 wow wow wow! Susan this is great, so validating to hear this

@mochiwaffles 2 года назад

When he started to pull away about one month in (texting less frequently, not initiating dates), I told him I wanted to break things off because I want more than he can offer but then he said he didn't want to end things he just "feels pressured" and wanted to take things slow instead, I agreed to give him space but I doubt if this is going anywhere...

@kyamitchell7620 2 года назад

Susan, I ended the relationship (open relationship initiated by my partner) with my partner. I'm a bit sad, but I feel like I released a lot of stress I was feeling during the relationship. Thx for the advice.

@adriennesamantha 2 года назад

I think he obviously liked the other woman more, he wasn't interested enough in the first woman

@cherbug1197 2 года назад

Topic is spot on to what recently happened to me, my mind won’t let it/ him go. 🙁

@Philphil2024 2 года назад

Missed this one. Will see it tomorrow! Wishing you the best of the best in 2022 dearest Susan!

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Hope you enjoy it! Happy 2022!

@SusanH4626 2 года назад

Great advise! You really are the best, if I end up in a relationship will definitely be calling you for help!

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Hopefully, you won’t need my help!

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@Sarafara7 2 года назад

The more I watch your videos, the more I realize I do have a fear of being clear with what I want. I’m not sure why, I’ll ask my therapist haha. I learn so much about myself watching your videos and lives. Thank you so much for all you do 🙏🏼

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@josenavas9968 2 года назад

Ms Susan; Howdy. Pretty much got to that point and I agree with her. So I told her "go ahead only the best for you" It was way better than to argue and plead..

@tinishawashington9110 2 года назад

I am totally convinced that this woman is an angel who asked God for the opportunity to come down to earth and help people I believe he wiped her memory allowed her to suffer because he knew she would teach I'm so thankful for her

@alexflips393 2 года назад

So how & when do you define the relationship. I think that could be a talk all of it's own. Happy New Year Susan.

@mlantieri 2 года назад

Happy New Year Susan !!!! I am ready this new year for someone who is ready for me. No more frogs, just princesses like you!

@dfamzdsign2495 2 года назад

Cant thank you enough for helping me see clearly. Exactly the advice i desperately needed to hear the most at this very moment.🙏🏼🙏🏼😭😭

@zenmaiden1 2 года назад

Happy New Year Susan! Much love and thanks for all your sound thinking you bring to light so many things! Never stop learning ! Clearly expressing your rules or boundaries is so key.

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Zen Maiden! Great to hear from you and happy new year. I feel so very lucky to have you in this wonderful RU-vid family. Thank you for your ongoing support and your warmth

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@janefaceinthewind6260 2 года назад

Happy new year, dear Susan, you are amazing and I wish you love, health and happiness for 2022! Much, much love

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Hello dear Jane. Thank you so much and wishing you a fabulous 2022

@janefaceinthewind6260 2 года назад

This feeling of loving someone but not having the spark is something I experience right now. It is heart-breaking, but it just can't work if there is no spark, no passion, no electricity. I'd rather be alone than constantly being reminded of the passion of my previous relationship because this current situation is so muted in comparison. It's just not right. I feel like an empty balloon in this relationship, the entire feeling of being in love and elation is literally not there. The problem is, I told him and he won't have it and tries to talk me into "undoing my mental block" because he thinks I am feeling all these great things deep down but just don't have access to them. It comes across as controlling. Susan, that is the "new guy" I wasn't attracted to for your information, you once gave me great advice with regard to this and I am so grateful! I am trapped and stuck with him, he won't let me go. I just want to run because I can't breathe...! I need to be strong and put the foot down. 😢

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe.

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@avaj2825 2 года назад

These Men make me sick!!!

@satyapersaud1488 2 года назад

I greatly appreciate your insight and advice on the importance of communication. This is key to so many things and all forms of relationships. Bad or simply lack of communication lead such negatives and avoidable issues. Thank you so much as always!! ❣🙏

@jaana944 2 года назад

Happy new year Susan!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for everything you do ❤️

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

You’re very welcome, my dear! Have a wonderful New Year!

@lunanera23 Год назад

I love you and your wisdom Susan! ❤🙏🏻

@StellaPastLife 2 года назад

for Nicole Huron. The fact he said it was weight shows what a low grade human he is. Also to ask you to be his girlfriend and then uturn shows he is not in touch with his emotions. He doesn't know who he is and what he wants. Also don't be afraid to say" Shame because I love every inch of my gorgeous body and you're not getting any! I moved to italy from the UK I'm a size 16-18 uk size. I'm 56. And had a 10 year younger italian lover very quickly. In italy overweight doesn't exist, it really really doesn't. It's very very cultural concept of beauty. I've had nothing but compliments in italy, stopping traffic, people asking for my number from the age of 27 to 90. In the UK no -one looked at me. Here, I realised my true beauty. Size doesn't exist.

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@catlue7006 2 года назад

I love you, Susan❣️🙏🏻✨🌞 Thank you so much for all your advice and wisdom.

@BryanPablo6270 2 года назад

Belated Happy 2022 Susan, if ever you come to Australia I would be interested for a consult in person. Thank you again for your wonderful insight for all of us♥️🙏 always learning something from you

@tinishawashington9110 2 года назад

For anybody reading the comments trying to figure out if this video is worth watching I don't get paid to tell you yes and to click the subscribe button!!!!!!!

@lovetodaylisa3967 2 года назад

I never want to fall in love again

@tinishawashington9110 2 года назад

You should totally watch more of her videos because that's how I felt but now I do want to fall in love again I just want to be smarter about the choice of man that I pick I also want to take more time and I don't want to be such a settler it's okay to settle on some things that aren't big to me but I had to make a list of things I do and I don't accept now dating is easier because when you do the things on my list I simply tell you that you're not my type and it's been fun dating again

@ab.- 2 года назад

One of your best vids, gz Susan

@dmalina3 2 года назад

Great topic and awfull situation

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

I hope you found it helpful!

@elizabeth-ty3he 2 года назад

Bangs are great on you

@zeezyu 2 года назад

YOURE ALWAYS ON POINT OMGG

@cherylross393 Год назад

He found the woman he wanted.

@ronbittel1367 2 года назад

"Crawl over glass" ? No one is worth that.

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

💯

@avaj2825 2 года назад

I hate jerks like that. Why don't their reputations take the "shame hit" Like the woman that was lied to sexually assuuted (false pretenses) and abandoned. Humilliatin and emotional abuse,at the very least. Why do they have to be a psychic

@arbitrarylib 2 года назад

I think thats what some of my past partners should have said, moving too fast or too slow.

@brit4632 2 года назад

Can you make a video on why men want to take it slow and what to look for in determining the remark it will be official one day. 🤔

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..

@irenerouse3163 2 года назад

Can hear everything

@SusanWinter 2 года назад

Thanks for this. I’m not sure what happened there Irene. It wasn’t until I saw people starting to say that they couldn’t hear me but I realize there was a problem. Then thankfully it was resolved

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

十2349155456138⏭⏭ Hello it's work i can't believe..

@olayemi02abayomi62 2 года назад

whatsAzpp him ☝️..