I’ve never felt so polarised as I do right now in this relationship and it’s because I was in a state of high self-love when I met him. I didn’t plan it, intend for it, and I was simply BEING when I met him on a beach one day. It’s those moments of just sweet surrender that we actually feel most contented inside and then magnetise more love into our lives. Thank you for what you do Aaron & I love seeing you bloom in your relationship with Heather and what it’s activated in you!
Same here! I was doing fine, high vibe energy, and then I met…him. It was fine at first and then he ghosted me out of nowhere two months ago. I’ve tried and tried to shake the energy but I can’t. This has sucked!!!
My favorite part of this video is literally that this is called a detachment style vs attachment style. It's exactly what I am happily learning. Detach, detach, detach! From expectations, meanings, stories, etc. It's so much fun because I've been more creative lately too. :D
5:35 I have just realised that there is another type of abandonement wound: the moment when as a child one decides to abandon themselves because the acceptance of the caregivers is more important. If your parents accept and love the child just on certain conditions, the child might have no other option but give up on itself in order to survive.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD MFT’s books “Your Brain on Love” and “Relationship Rx” cover these attachment styles in depth and combine them with the science of our neurobiology and psychology to create the PACT theory of couple therapy. In his books the attachment styles are given alternative, visual, names: - Avoidant -> Island - Anxious -> Wave - Secure -> Anchor Something that’s important to know about attachment styles is they can change depending on who you are with and what kinds of personal growth and development you’re doing.
I know thinking how much he repeats the same messages in videos...and its cos of idiots like me that need to keep hearing it in different ways until its,finally drummed into me. It will be one,day...keep going Aaron, it'll just click one,day in my brain
*6 ways to heal and improve your life:* 1. Put God / The Most High / Universe First 2. Let go of EGO (Edging God Out) 3. Live in the present 4. Do good unto others as wish done onto you (The Golden Rule) 5. Surround yourself with the environments that manufacturer success 6. Create harmony within through healing so you can create it in the world without ~Much Love from a Law of Attraction RU-vidr💜
I have needy attachments. Ty so much Aaron for waking me up. I need to love myself and not depend on what validations I expect my baby mama to give me. Both my parents weren’t emotionally there for me half the time. Parents aren’t perfect but I realize they weren’t emotionally there for me. I wanna forgive them and just be authentic like how you are perceiving yourself. I want to trust god and the universe that things will fall in place. I listen to you daily and Marcthemessenger. You two are MVPs. Keep up the good work brother.
The thing is what people do to you is more about them, than it is about you. Trust wound 😤🥺! When you’ve been in environments that show you, you look like you don’t care about yourself, you have to relearn you do care deeply about yourself! Xx
I am an anxious attached person. Learned a lot. Shared my thoughts and vulnerability to my boyfriend. I wasn't insecure a Lot, not jealous or needy of his attention. I need my space. But he always reacted with; I can't deal with insecure people or he was blaming me for having certain thoughts. So.. never again.. he was an avoidant BTW. He had trust issues. Eventually he broke up at my birthday 3 weeks ago. Never heard from him again. Together 1.5y
Wow wow wow. Anxious attachment? I didn’t know there was a word for it. Watching this video made it click, that I have noticed that when I show vulnerability it tends to depolarize the situations I find myself in. I cannot express enough how much I value your work. Thank you, for taking that leap to go full time on RU-vid. ❤️
Thank you for the explanation. It helps me understand the current situation. I feel like I have a long way to go in my ability to apply and see the results. I was the real me..vulnerable and authentic..however probably was also taken for granted and a doormat. I need to trust. I became "Fed up- feeling like not enough.." in the end
I kinda feel tho, iam 32 years and this also puts kind off presure to just loose the fear and shame. Like its not a light switch. Sometimes i feel that beining insecure is what most people feel day to day. And happines is a fleeting feeling. Iam happy for Aron but i dont think everybody is goining to have what he haves.
When you realize that holding onto pain is so much greater than the pain of removing a toxic person out of your life, then you know that it is time to let go. 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I am doing this now... And it feels good to know when they push me away because they always do... It won't bother me because I stopped caring about outcome. I am engaged and authentic but I'm happy by myself. I do carry a life full of rejection but I'm still going to be who I am regardless of the pain.
My opinion, Attached to Outcome means Attached to The Process. Because it is Good to know Where you want to Be, however becoming obsess on HOW that is going to happen is where the obsession begins. To surrender and trust The process, Believing that What you desire truly Desires you, makes you relaxed with the Process. As a Anxiety Attachment, I identified more With The Process, losing focus On what I truly wanted. Becoming distracted with the "how", makes you forget what you truly want and Why. So I understand what "not attaching to outcome"means, but I believe that the true meaning is, Not Attaching to the Process and trusting that it will work out aka Letting Go.
I grew up as the only black kid in an all white community. I was well liked because I tuned myself to the opinions of others to fit in. This definitely manifests itself today and this video helped me become aware of this.
Relaxing is always the best. In the form of targeted relaxation on purpose and detachment from the outcome, or even better total indifference, cause one is enjoying one's life to the max anyway. 😊 This is most times when a new SP shows up. But both work fine to attract an existing SP too. 😊 Or attract a new one that is a way better match in all regards. Anyway, your SP is already crazy about you. 💘 Right now in this moment. Maybe he didn't verbalise it yet, but that sure will follow soon if you relax. 😊
Thank you for this. I needed this, just had a relationship blow up, I'm learning to put in healthy boundaries so I can have a healthier relationship. Had a bad relationship last year with narcissist. I've also learned about my childhood issues that come up. Thank you for being real.
Your lectures are awesome. I was searching and searching to try to understand why i feel the way i do.. and you just gave me all answers, its like written about me. Thank you for all the help you give to people.
love it //i still need to learn how to set boundaries.. i care too much, but when i engage i loose myself, i'm so tired with them my energy is low i can't say no i need to be alone for awhile and/or start engaging with like-minded people so drained, need self-care, i don't want to seem selfish but eh self-care isn't selfish right.. i shouldn't care about theirs opinion I regret going out with them, but maybe i needed that to see again that i'm better off alone, It's take time to come back to myself from Poland,
Maybe it's like you mentioned. Your just not spending your time with the right people, or person. Because if they were, you wouldn't feel like they drained you of your energy. You'd be feeling positive. Caring for yourself, setting healthy boundaries isn't self sabotage, it's necessary for self-preservation.
I totally agree with you... Actually law of Assumption community is a bit agressive.. the coaches says to affirm affirm and affirm until you get your desired outcome.... But here i got to know the actual meaning and also my experience... When we let go that attachment and clingy energy then we automatically raised our vibrations or we can say we feels the state os wish fulfillment and then we can easily achieve our results...
Its a world of detachment, and avoidant and were making more of it with dating experts. Yes Be you, accept you, love you, go through the lessons, some will be present in your life some wont, there so many different psychological things at play just Live and Let Be, dont get self consumed by it all and dont close off your Heart. Life has lessons after each lesson you come out smarter and yes if someone is avoidant do take your energy back.
Aaron, can you make a video of your view on the Law of assumption? ( I have seen your videos on Law of attraction,and I totally agree . It seems like you are more close to Law of assumption since you talk about changing stories and beliefs,and that we change and build all inside us and then we get the reflection we would " want " 👍🤩 when we are grounded and we feel enough( having a good self-concept), that we are enough in life ,that will be reflected in the wish fulfilled, the life we want 😊
Hey Aaron. I don't know where I got my attachment issues from. I had a great childhood. My Dad was a bit strict,and I got a few smacks in my childhood. But I knew my Parents loved my siblings and I very much. I am thinking it stems from being bullied at school because I had learning difficulties.And no real friends.
I've been watching your videos for some time now, and I love your energy. What you say makes a lot of sense to me and has helped me through some really tough times. I find the videos both informative and fun. "Penguins or whatever" lmao
A question: Do you have any tip when you’ve manifested a great relationship from this place of ”non-neediness” and feel very happy with this person, but start to sort of slip into the old patterns of people-pleasing and putting this other person on a pedestal (which doesn’t feel that good 😅) - Do you take the time to find your center by yourself again or is it rather wise to speak about it with your new love? Asking for a friend 🙈😂🧡
Idk what attachment style I have but I noticed that ever since I got broken up with, I’ve been extremely needy and clingy to the point of desperation. Idk how to get rid of it cause I think it’s scaring off guys
I keep finding myself in these awful loops. Sometimes I get by for a few hours, then they come back so intense. Logically this all makes complete sense but I need concrete practical stuff to help get out of this self imposed prison
Please aaron please we would really be the happiest people in the world if my brother went away coz he's been unconsciously destroying us for years now so make more manifestation videos so that I could get this goul faster
Hey Aaron thank you so much for your help! I’m definitely anxious and like someone but they weren’t showing me the validation etc that I was seeking and now I’ve sadly become detached (apathetic) just as I’m super scared it means they just aren’t into me. How do you know when it’s your own insecurities causing this or whether it is true that they just aren’t into you? Also when is your expectation important? For example he texts me every other day but I wish he would call instead (he’s in another continent) - and we end up calling maybe once a week after I suggest it. He does send heaps of voice notes though. But is this just my neediness or is this what I need? Should we communicate those things? Also we were going to meet halfway but now he wants me to come to his home - and part of me feels like am I not worth the journey or effort? Or is it okay that he’s being practical by bringing me there. He’s someone I’ve known for years that I always felt like I had a soul connection to - just as friends but then 3 months ago we met again after years and became more than friends. But I’ve already put my walls up now 😔
I used to be anxious attachment style in my past relationships...now I'd say... even tho I'm not currently in a relationship... through my healing while being single...I'd say I'm more secure now 😊 PS: Love You Aaron!!!⚡
What if you showed how you feel but people then laugh at you and say your over emotional, because you voice how they're hurting you, that then hurts more. They're avoidant attachment and Maybe a little narcissistic, they use to be kind and loving but now the opposite
People telling you you are overly emotional or too sensitive is a form of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. The bigger question is why would you stay with somebody who laughs at you when you are vulnerable and express your feelings?
@@hshfyugaewfjkKS yes I saw this too, I'm not anymore, I guess I dud because before they were like this they were the complete opposite, I guess it took my heart some time to catch up and accept they're not the person they use to be for years. They're now someone different.
@@es-fu3qc I understand. It is hard! I just went through the same thing with my sister. I realized she is deeply emotionally abusive and manipulative so I have cut her out of my life. The people that leave our life that are toxic are only meant to be with the unhealed version of you!
@@hshfyugaewfjkKS ahh I just write a reply but it didn't send I think. I was saying it's very brave of you, especially as it was family, we often feel obligated to family, but if they're toxic then family or not I'm glad you managed to distance yourself. 😊😊😊😊 I hope you have the peace and happiness you deserve. X
I can't tell you what would work for you but I could tell you what works for me when I used to overthink things I put a rubber band on my wrist and every time I started overthinking something I would snap it which would draw me back into the physical and out of the mental thoughts after doing this on and off then I realized that my thoughts are not my feelings and my feelings are not my thoughts so I do not give feelings to my thoughts I just let them come and go with out attaching my emotions to my thoughts
@@hilaklein4087 if you ever think of something more then twice it means you are overthinking things, I used to chronically be an over thinker, what helped is knowing how to define overthinking and recognize if I was doing it with my awareness, another perspective or tip is dwelling in the past will never benefit you ever, do your best to not dwell in the past, and instead train your brain and body to become more present and grounded, 3rd train yourself to begin to think, feel, speak, and take action, in the context of whatever you desire, whatever you intend to manifest, do all of that in the context of what you dream of is here, it’s happened, and it’s happening, thus like this, I am so grateful that my body is healed on a molecular and cellular level of all aliments, inflammation, sickness, and disease, I am so grateful to be healed, not in the thinking of mind of I’m so sick what am I going to do, shift your focus instead of focusing on the problem, to focusing more on the solution, and for the love of god, learn to be more kind to yourself, my motto is progress over perfection
