This is why muslim women have difficulties marrying a good man. 

it's really hard to find good men when all you've ever known are bad examples. i think that's why us women love to romanticize and read our romance books and movies, because maybe that's the only place we see "good men." i hope every woman is able to see what a true and good man is so that in hopes that can bring out the good and true woman in her.

This is very true. I wish it was easy to break down a strong defence system created by aggressive or untrustworthy male family members.

Unmarried folks out here, here's a bit of hope for y'all. Recite this dua to get a pious spouse in which we all could find peace in. I pray we all find the missing part of ours soon, In Shaa Allah.. رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ " " وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا (“rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A’yunin waj’alna lil- muttaqina imama”) “Our Lord, grant us from among our pious spouse and offsprings comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Surah Furqan:74)

As a person married for nearly a decade, a big problem that I have seen with young women (and men do call it out, but it's brushed off) is that they do not like "good men". They only like those type of men in their 30s and 40s when the "bad boys" have broken them and threw them out. Then they realize and try to go back to them, finding them of course, already happily married with a family. The reality is a truly good husband and leader does not need to go around boasting and constantly reaffirming that he is the boss. I have been extremely hard headed since childhood and even my white parents worried how the heck this girl would manage in a marriage. But the character of my husband is such that I feel no worries in deferring to him, because I trust him wholly. I'm not made to feel like I just don't matter, he can take decisions but also consults me too. Unfortunately, too many men want the final say without even speaking to their wife about her concerns and advice. And that is unfortunate. Put in simple words, a truly good husband can bring out the submissiveness of any woman, as long as she herself is self aware and committed.

This is so true and all of it resonated with me even though I am happily married! I wish I could have seen your face speaking and expressing yourself though. It would be even that much more impactful. Thank you

Actually, when you have a good man who gives you respect, trust and love, you want to do anything for them and you want them to lead and be in control. It is freeing to have them lead. However, without trust and respect you are not going to let them lead because we cannot follow what we ourselves do not believe.

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I do not understand one thing, can you please explain in more details, how does being defencive look like? What do we do when we are defencive? Thanks

There are bigger issues facing the Muslims at the moment deal with them first Israel Palestinians and kashmir

Subhan'Allah... this is so profound. ❤

Full lecture link?

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