The narcissist is not « family». Only a « actor», prentending to be Mother, father, sibling and so on. Do what must be done, to protect your own health. You are not alone ❤
They all follow the same " blue print". They have zero personality, or character. Just like a robot only following their programming of harvesting attention, validation, abuse and to manipulate others for control. That`s all there is to all of them
They all follow the same script. Almost like a robot 1: Lovebombing+ idealisation 2: Devaluation ( harsh critizism, manipulation, gaslighting, silent treatments, withdrawl of affection 3: The discard 4: Hoover Their real personality was wiped out from childhood trauma, or other trauma. After that only the " narcissism programming/algorithm" is left. There can be " intelligence", but there is no " sentience" or personality there. Only the need for control and valdidation, attention at all cost+ the hatred and envy of all things autentic and healthy
@@KarenKeating-t2p They are driven by their " prime aims" of 1: getting narcissistic supply 2: control over the victims mind/emotions life 3: image control/fasade control notice that all their actions even the little are based on these traits. They are " automatic" in every thing they do, there is no personality or autenticeity there. No " sentience". But there is often intelligence. Intelligence programmed to secure the prime aims at all cost. I look at them in the same way as the cyborg race " Borg" in Star Trek. Their goal is to take control over others, assimilate their personality traits ( mirroring) and after that make their victim a brainless drone. many are fooled by their " humanoid" looks. Even therapist who are often themselves empaths/codependents become brainwashed by their theatrical play of lovebombing, sob storys ( victim mask). They think they can cure them, but instead end up as their victim. Chaseing the narcissist, and thinking they can " save/fix/cure" them. Not realising this was the narcissists goal.
The love bombing, the hoovering, the flying monkeys, the discarding, the hoovering, and the discard again, when you experience this, and you choose just to let it go, or they get pissed off when they’ve underestimated you. They won’t show it, but let them be, pissed off on their own.
Been a solid 3 months after my discard...went through thee worst fcukin pain ive ever felt. But now...thanks to folks like this making videos and gettin it out there.. helps. Hope your doin well man. Fcuk these people. Were better than that.. we deserve better than that👍👊
I was devastated, too. I ruminate a lot still so, the healing journey is taking time. I'm def getting closer and closer to indiffernce as time goes on.
same here. i didnt even thought such persons exist..still fighting because unfortunately we are neighbours. already a year and still thinking about what she did
Yes I saw the discard coming but I wasn't traumatised when it happened. I just told him I was happy we had come to the end of our journey and hoped he could find who he was looking for in his little harem. I blocked him everywhere as did family and friends to ensure he could not contact any of us.
I discarded my husband of 30 yrs, covert narcissist. Ugh 😣 I felt so embarrassed to realize i was in this situation. Ive been disabled 10 yrs and regaining my health and losing my marriage. A bir difficult but im going to be ok. 😊
I've listened to dozens of narcissistic coaching videos, some really, really good. This cats delivery and calm nature just brought it home so sicinctly. Well done bro. 👏🏽
This is exactly how my recent relationship with a female narcissist ended. I accepted the discard even though she actually was using the discard to pull me back to triangulate me against her new supply. I called her bluff and she was shocked and the love bomb returned during the discard but I still accepted the discard. So far zero hoovers at 4 months.
Very sick are these toxic individuals!! I had something very similar happen with a few different occurrences but the same out come for me as well! Once I knew she was reeling me back in to triangulate with her new supply ...and "stay friends" I said No Thank You and "Bye"! And left for good ..The hoovering has stopped !! 💯🙏
@@glennchristian9329 I accepted her request to remain friends however I didn't actually intend to be friends I simply agreed verbally to make my exit as smooth as possible. I walked away and blocked her immediately.
@@glennchristian9329 I learned this from Ross Rosenberg. He said it is potentially very dangerous once you realize that you are dealing with a narcissist if you let on that you understand who and what they are. He urged cautious exit plans in these situations. I suspected she was a narcissist on the first date but stuck around for 4 months because I wasn't 100% sure until the latter stages of the relationship.
@WMH Health Well that is excellent that you took his his advice,because that really seems to be the case with a lot of these toxic/narc types. I can see that now clearer than ever just how cold,selfish & heartless they can actually be! 💯 I wish you the best in trying to stay away from these empty shells!
4 months in. A few red flags, but was biding my time. Last weekend, everything hit.. silent treatment, blame-shifting, devaluation, gaslighting... she bit my neck during sex after I told her several times I didn't like it. That is physical assault, she did not respect any boundaries- she laughed. I told her, "I don't think I'm the person for you." She said, "I don't think so, too." "OK then." I said. "OK" she replied. I blocked her everywhere (except one app I forgot.) She got a text through asking for something, said she can come pick it up. I told her I'd mail it. The next day she asked for something else. I did not reply. I mailed all her belongings, including some clothes she put in with my laundry. She texted, "Are we still going to that show [I bought tickets for]?" I did not reply, I blocked that app, too. Now she has no way to reach me, there are no flying monkeys because I was careful not to introduce her to my friends. I accept our breakup, I'm not buying into her toxic behaviors. It's best we go our seperate ways.
Yesss, some are sexually aggressive, quite scary. Once you experience, you'll never forget. Perhaps, they are Malignant, sadistic Narcissists/psychopaths? They are seriously fucked up creatures. Just be thankful you're away from them.😐
Recently discarded by my husband of 12 years. Sadly I didn't realize he was a Narcissist until the brutal discard. I was begging him to come home and face me for the first few weeks. I wish I would have realized this prior
I have seen your posts and I am very sorry that happened to you. That must be so hard. I was brutally discarded as well & triangulated & hoovered. I didn't even know He was a Narcissist until I was discarded & started getting the wisdom & education & putting in the work to heal. I realized it AFTER and thought about everything He did. I didn't want to believe it and was in the fog. Mine would not face me either and ghosted me in a way. These people are too much to deal with. I've been told it's a blessing when they discard and you accept it. God Bless✨ and hope for your healing.
I am happy to know that I devastated the narc in my life by accepting the discard gracefully! I know it must be very confusing to them because I never contact them, but they continue to text me on holidays, birthdays, etc. It is pathetic truly.
So glad you did that! Hopefully they leave you alone. Does his name start with a D? Lol I always feel like people are talking about my ex. He does this exact thing! Omg
Shame so many of us see this video too late. I have been broken for a year and he has zero empathy. Feeding off my pain like a vampire I am sure. 25 years and didn't see the evil coming.
It's just insane how much power a narcissistic ex partner can still have on the discarded person a year after their gone. The key word is "can". They can if you allow it to continue. It's a lot to cope with after twenty years of back and forth mind f-ing. I go months without any thoughts that are bad or good and then bang, I start to think about them again. It's advice and support from people like you that gradually brings me back to the truth of the matter.
@@ladyvirgo013 yes, it's emotional torture. Please understand that it will stop hurting gradually and you will start to find joy in life itself. Please don't go to try to reason them because it's not possible but discovering your inner strength is. Nothing will change if we stay under their spell like hold. If I was able to crawl out of their abyss, you can too. Trust in yourself and the universe will work magic for you. I know it's easier said than done yet I cannot stress this enough, you will thank yourself one day. If you stay or he comes back, the cycle will just begin where it left off and it won't stop. I'll be thinking of you.
@@HEWholoves-w1d no worries friend, I feel so much better than I did when I posted my comment. I haven't had any thoughts of him. It's called ruminating I hear, I did a lot of that. He crosses my mind but it's getting to be fewer and fewer with longer periods in between. I don't feel anything anymore when it comes to him and if he gets in upstairs it's only because I was in an area of town we would frequent or something as simple as that. I don't fantasize or replay events. I put a lot of work it this and it has paid off ten fold.
Thank you so much Joe. I wake up each day, trying to get rid of the narcissist on my mind. I know I made the right decision thank God for myself. I feel for everybody that’s been damaged on this by a narcissist. The sad part is, there’s no way to help a narcissist. They won’t accept help they don’t want help and actually they are offended that you’re trying to help them. Just remember, there’s no happy endings for the narcissist. They will screw up everything they get into eventually. Honestly, I’m trying to get to a place where I don’t give a shit whether she thinks about me or not. One day at a time. Thanks, Joe. Really helpful stuff
I was lucky for videos like this whilst going out with a narcissist, she portrayed a lot of abnormal behaviour, wondered what the hell was going on. So I discarded her in a calm civil way. I wasn’t going to be one of those poor souls that got married to one and put up with mental abuse for years, feel sorry for people who put up with this behaviour for years, I was lucky, never even knew about narcissism before I met her, thank goodness for channel’s like this one
This is my FAVOURITE video Joe, I pretend I don't know him, he FURIOUS when I finally got on with my life and he told me I had changed and he didn't like that I didn't buy into his games ANYMORE, well divorced now and live in PEACE.
Only way he can know is driving by🥵🥰🤮hope it hurts to the point they are the ones affected, no fix supply lie They deserve their self inflicting punishment 🥵
I did the reverse discard . Lost my twin to suicide this year and then the family came after me because I called them out. Demons from hell. Like zombies I never knew were there. I wrote a book that’s getting really good feed back . Paying it all forward
My ex would constantly and consistently call me every derogatory name in the book but my name, then when I woud block him he would leave voice messages still calling me names and even more irate but couldn't understand why I blocked him!!?? WTF
Yeah I'm in that phase of glow up he told me to leave and I accepted... Now His ego is not allowing him to reach out😆 I'm just happy to be free I was miserable I'm not doing anything to hurt him I'm moving on
I met a severe narc once. She was a stunner. I had no idea what narcissism was but i soon learned. Eventualy i left and recovered. Then i met another. I played along and when she discarded me i was good soon after. Its been 2 years. Not a peep. Hope she is ok.
This was interesting, thats why he alwas tried to get as much information about my current life situation as possible... I noticed a bit late, but he was very confused if I was not interersted in sharing any infos with him.
Weird day! I’ve been no contact since may 11 2024 but I did regrettably call him on my sons 3 rd memorial date after passing away same week as his 29 th birthday n I called to let him know we were celebrating at the lake! I regretted it that instant n still no contact till something odd happened this morning n I woke up with a strong sence of him in my Rv ! Later today I was out by my truck n it had a note n I felt sick! The note was his hand writing but was made out to be another person looking for their phone
Imagine starting to write because they enjoyed poetry so I gave it a shot and be that I had just lost my dad it truly helped one heal. And one started writing everything.. so fast forward post discard, heavy attacks trying to remove my instagram and Pinterest which are the two mains for me.. all because they can’t lie on (or they can and hide me best they can) but regardless, it’s there for the world. And I know the switch from healing self, to helping others makes them want to vomit 😂 doing it all alone here(physically)
I have another narcissist I have to go no contact again. Never knew this person was like this until recently. They exhibit a lot of characteristics of narcissism. But again I overlooked it. But I wasn't hurt I was just in different. Because I'm not in love with person. But today was a block day. Lmao 🤣😂😂😅
I believe after I accepted the discard he was so devastated that he spiraled into a psychotic episode. Wind up being hospitalized and a bout of alcoholism. After discharge, he wound up marrying the new supply! Wishing them a happy ever after... Narcs don't change!
Post-relationship, the Ex-Narcissist actually hoovered me & texted, "He was devastated.😥" I had accepted the discard, all the phony excuses He gave, and stayed the hell away from his crazy ass. He's shocked I accepted first & final discard. They underestimate Us💯
Great video, really impressed me dear Joe ❤, shows me that the narcisisst can suffer, mine is a covert, two weeks ago I went no contact and he was devastated and so very happy when I said that I was uoset about his behavor but would never leave him, but actally wanted to. But felt sorry for him and guess myself too, cause I love him deeply Greetings from Germany, my covert is from Slovenia.
You discarded them, you have the upper hand. Be careful because they're pissed at you for that. They want revenge. They can try to get back in your life just to take you back down and then, dump you.
He was a master love-bomber, then he retreated, then he discarded me. When I showed indifference to the discard, he suddenly found me irresistible. Now we are apart. I am committed to being a stable, strong, happy person. He does "drive-bys" to get my attention: a text here (mostly just links to things that are of mutual interest) and there, but nothing of substance. I would love to have a real conversation with him, but I do not think he is capable of it. I feel as though he is intimidated by my strength and stability. Can I do anything to salvage the relationship?
yepp. ive been working thos plan for over 8 months now. i knew shed come hoovering back so after the last discard i made my plan. i took my inspiration from ted bundy and became everything she wanted... or so she thinks. im just about ready to discard her hard now after she came back 2 months ago. created a perfect interject in her mind that she can never forget. shes already schizing and i havent even kicked her out yet, only emotionally not care. its destroying her. one for the team. for all us victims of narc abuse, i can do it.
The Carnival barker cries out, step right up.......... Pick a narcissist, any narcissist. Yes, we have fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, short ones, smart one, dumb ones, ugly ones and beautiful ones. They all have fragile egos, and are shame based. Yes, they're guaranteed to make your life a living hell guaranteed, or your money back! 😅❤😂 They're sure to break your heart until you learn to love yourself!!! 😂
I was with a for 4 years and then 4 years she discarded me four times I didn't understand it she was trying to tear me down the last time I finally found someone else that was 10 times better for me and she lost her mind she literally lost
what if you been in no contact for 2 years and you had a few friends that knew you were devastated and miserable that you vented to and isolated for awhile and you cut those friends off and they become the ex narc flying monkeys? what if you have no control over that.
Not all narcisissts discard you if they want to stay with you, why then should they do that, some can feel love, their sort of love for you. My covert loves me his way, but it is good.. he values me, adapted in some ways to get along much better. I do not think he would ever discard me, he won't find a woman who loves him more than I do. And he knows that. It is more likely that I would discard him, but I won't either.
@@Sherrilful Thank you, but it is not luck, I have trust in him and so does he in me, it is a bonding between the two of us that does not make discard possible , from neither side
@@ritapeters1330 May I ask how long you've been together. I was with mine 6 years. 2 years ago I sounds like you. Now I have run away from that multiple sided man boy.
Scorpio male ♏ hurt why ! If anything they should be helped shown compassion or pacience with love and respect, plus I don't really believe they are narcissist, but that's her upbringing or how they live by,plus I can't help or be helped by someone who left me in the dust dead no nothing!
@@joshuaanzalone2060 Are you a therapist? Otherwise you can´t help them anyway. They are ill-minded people and need professional help. If not they will never change. And you better let them be by themselves.
Excellent work, Joe. BTW: A message to all love-hungry-people; Stop taking narcs & relationships in general seriously. Stay on top, think long term. Take it easy.
