THOUGHTS ON MY DYSPHORIA

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i'm sorry if i repeat myself/don't make much sense in this video.
this video includes a mumble jumble of my thoughts/feelings about the overwhelming topic of gender and body dysphoria and how that affects my daily mood/everyday life.
WHEN YOU BUY A BLACK LIVES MATTER PRINT/STICKER, 100% OF PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO BLACK-LED/LGBTQIA+ GROUPS & ORGANIZATIONS (more info on my etsy): www.etsy.com/s...
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HOW MUCH TESTOSTERONE AM I ON?
first 3 months on low-dose T: 1 pump per night (20.25mg of T)
after 3 months on 1 pump, i switched to 2 pumps/night (40.5mg of T)
for the past 2 months i’ve switched back to 1 pump/night, sometimes 1.5 pumps/night
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SOCIAL MEDIA:
instagram: @megemikolee
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FACEBOOK GROUPS (good resources/support groups):
Non-Binary Social Space
FTM Brotherhood
Non-Binary Gender Pride
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Опубликовано:

3 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 31

@aronalber9107 4 года назад

Dude, I hear you on the denial part. I've been questioning my gender intensively for four years now and I'm only just starting to understand and come to terms with the fact that the disconnection I have felt for as long as I can remember IS dysphoria. What's sad is that all this discourse that you find on trans youtube about dysphoria needing to be a super debilitating thing that makes you want to die has made it that much harder for me to recognize myself and my own dysphoria. I do not experience dysphoria as disgust, but rather as a feeling of being disappointed by and disconnected from the parts of my body that don't feel like they belong to me. I like to describe it as the feeling you get when you have to accept an unwanted gift from someone and act like you're happy to receive it when, in reality, you will never use it and have no idea why this made them think of you. On the other hand, I don't really experience social dysphoria at all, but I could also just be pushing it down.

@cassandrah396 4 года назад

A. Alber I feel you. It seems that dysphoria is supposed to be such extreme pain. For me it’s been just like your where it’s this feeling of disconnection and disappointment. sometimes i feel like if i just wait maybe i’ll be thankful for my chest or my more curves body but it’s been years.

@aronalber9107 4 года назад

@@cassandrah396 For many years I've thought: "Maybe I'm just ashamed of my sexuality and this will all go away eventually." Well, it didn't go away; meanwhile, it's put a lot of strain on my relationship because of how uncomfortable I feel in my body. I wish there had been a way for me to recognize this sooner, but nobody talks about these issues in the lesbian community, which is one of the reasons why I always felt like the odd one out. Now I know that there's nothing weird or wrong with me; I just have dysphoria and I'm allowed to do something about it.

@cassandrah396 4 года назад

also, i was wondering if you could talk about social dysphoria versus body dysphoria. To me, social dysphoria seems to be more of how others perceive me rather than how my body actually is. It’s like being comfortable with my body only when i’m alone in the dark and no one can see me and i can’t see me. therefore i don’t feel dysphoria because i am not worried about how others see me or how i physically see myself

@cassandrah396 3 года назад

@Danni Stone I also see now that people were confused on why I was so self conscious. they had no idea that I was uncomfortable in my body and just took it as “quirky teen”. That was really frustrating because I wasn’t taken seriously and that my dysphoria was not a serious issue.

@cassandrah396 3 года назад

@Danni Stone also, I appreciate how much time you took to respond back! 🥰🥰. Thanks for sharing with me. It always helps to know there is someone out there who understands

@syclarke-chan505 4 года назад

"Walking around with a clown suit on" is EXACTLY IT. You nailed it. That's amazing. Thanks for posting this!

@jeremybearimy3487 4 года назад

I definitely compare dysphoria with other transmasc people way too much and worry about not being "trans" enough but this video really helped me feel better about knowing my dysphoria and how it affects me is valid and doesn't have to be the exact same as everyone else's. Thanks for the video! Also where did you find your shirt? It looks really cool!!

@megemiko 4 года назад

hi! i’m so happy this video helped you in some way. although there are so many expectations from the media, society, and what we’re surrounded by, it’s so important to remember that we are our own unique and special human. our existence is enough and so valid! my parent got me the shirt from an etsy store called “Echolyla”!! ❤️

@cassandrah396 4 года назад

It super cool to feel understood. The antler thing is very relatable because there are some days where i just don’t want to go my friends sleepovers because i feel singled out. They seem to be comfortable sleeping in whatever and i’m the only one wearing pajama pants and a sports bra to sleep because i’m dysphoric.

@TallulahGuard 3 года назад

I couldn't agree more about not trying to find a label! I spent so long watching every non-binary/trans-masc youtuber, trying to find someone who felt exactly like I did so I could just use their label. But the truth is, we all feel differently!! It became so much easier once I started to accept that dysphoria does not equal identity. And also, the intensity of a person's dysphoria doesn't make them more or less trans! Like, sometimes I feel almost neutral about my chest. Sometimes I am uncomfortable with it and want it gone. I am non-binary/trans however I feel that day :))

@cassandrah396 4 года назад

with social dysphoria it can difficult to determine whether or not to get too surgery because in the end i am technically fine with my body however the anxiety and the dysphoria that goes along with being in public and wanting to present as a NB, is over whelming.

@quryshna 4 года назад

I feel this so much. It comes down to safety for me. I started T two weeks ago and my dysphoria is demanding more because the starter dose isn't doing anything (yes, I know the changes take time lol; it will help my dysphoria when the changes become more obvious). But I also worry about going outside when the changes do start. I'm trans-non-binary and my day dream image of myself is glorious and also something the bigots will want to attack. So I worry about a lot of things while my body transitions to match the gender expression I feel my body needs. But hiding is not an option. I've never been happier on T :) And that's more important to me right now than the worry I hope you can find a perfect balance for yourself so that the dysphoria and anxiety are significantly lessened

@cassandrah396 4 года назад

siniikwe thank you and good luck with your T doses!

@Ezra-gx2oq 4 года назад

I'm the same way!!

@silversnail5280 4 года назад

Taking a step back and trying not to worry about labels too much has been very helpful to me. But it's tough to be patient with myself and it's something I'm still working on.

@megemiko 4 года назад

i totally agree with you. it’s so tough and it can be difficult to remember to be patient with yourself/show yourself compassion. take one day at a time because that’s all you can do! ❤️

@dragontamagotchi4941 4 года назад

Hello, I struggle with that I want my friends and people to forget I’m Non-Binary sometimes, but also I worry they will forget it at points when it might be important to remember and I often want new people to not know, I guess be “Stealth”. To just assume that I’m binary and assume my Pronouns are He/Him, But I’m also comfortable with being Non-Binary. This is related to dysphoria

@byakya.togami5966 4 года назад

Petition to make this awesome human being a larger RU-vidr?

@byakya.togami5966 4 года назад

Also what pronouns do you use?

@megemiko 4 года назад

they/them! thank you for the love ❤️

@dylanjames8792 4 года назад

Dysphoria sucks, I feel your pain friend!

@MingusTale 4 года назад

I think that was a really good metaphor. For me, I often just think I come across WAY more masculine than I do. And then I'm super confused when girls don't treat me the same way they treat guys. I don't feel super distressed most of the time because I'm just convinced in my brain that I look super masculine but it's just sorta odd to me that I don't. That's about it.

@hlholder-brown332 4 года назад

Thanks for putting this into words.

@keiths.9239 4 года назад

Mine feels like the biggest, loudest, ugliest jacket you can think of that someone could have gifted me. cause its a gift i kept it for awhile. But i hate it. Like someone politely saying yes jacket/ma'am. Im not a jacket i am me.

@megemiko 4 года назад

wow! i love this so so much. i resonate with what you’re saying and feel that on a very deep level. thank you for sharing! ❤️