I cannot express how refreshing it is to have someone like you in this space who approaches nuanced topics with a balance of cynical humor while maintaining respect and empathy.
It also shows how little she really knows about Kurt Cobain because she says that he "didn't have the language for what they were" when he absolutely would have because Cobain was an outspoken ally to the LGBTQ+ community and frequently hung out with them.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous Lily said Cobain’s suicide was due to gender dysphoria. I mean he was depressed and addiction to H. As someone who also struggles with mental illness and H addiction (I’m clean now). I think it’s safe to say those are the reasons.
Cobain also suffered from a very painful stomach condition that doctors couldn't diagnose or treat. That contributed to his H use, since it alleviated the pain. He was dealing with a lot of pain, physical, mental, and emotional.....
As a trans person that works in a restaurant.. I misgender cis people and it happens, we have an awkward fast laugh about it and we move on. I don't even look at people in the face when I'm really busy during work, she's doing too much
Sorta irrelevant, but I’m uninformed. Is saying “I couldn’t tell you’re trans” a compliment on looking like your gender or an insult implying that you’re not a real man/woman. I just wanna know for the future bc I don’t wanna accidentally insult someone
@@justkittensbeingkittens5892 it's ok to ask! If you have any questions I would love to try and explain! Saying "I couldn't tell you're trans" is fine by default for most trans people, but most people will add "you look like a REAL man/woman" or "you don't look like a woman/man" to a trans man/woman and that's the bad part where trans people could be "😐" like not looking like your AGSB(assigned gender as birth) it's most of the time the whole point. If you mean it well(only the first part, not the adding sentences) then it's ok🫶
An addition to your commentary on Kurt Cobain- it's ALSO a discredit to the queer and trans community! It's so important to let people explore presentation, and people have been working so hard to prove that gender expression does not equal gender identity, being trans is such a complex and personal experience so boiling it down to "they like dresses so they're trans" practically undoes YEARS of work on getting people to accept others presenting in ways other than what is expected. You can be a man and like dresses. It's just a peice of fabric. Seeing rock stars go against the grain and present femininely did so much work to break down the idea of how you have to present to be a "real man".
Exactly, presenting a certain way doesn't equate somebody's gender. If a man wears a dress, the only thing that means is that he likes to wear dresses, not his gender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
EXACTLY! This stuff is so harmful to butch lesbians (masculine lesbians)! butch lesbians are basically now seen as non binary or trans men in the closet and it's so harmful
well said, this was my favorite portion of the video because CLOTHES ARE NEUTRAL! Subject of the video focuses WAY too much on the binary and completely undermines the entire spectrum of presentation and everything that goes with it.
Agreed. Clothes have no gender. This is something that the trans community has been trying to say for years and it seems like she still has a lot of internalised sexism to to constantly categorise what is trans. This is a really toxic way of thinking because it really undermines what the trans community stands for. I stopped identifying as genderfluid and then turned to genderqueerness because it worked better for my identity, as when I was genderfluid I started categorising when I felt feminine and when I felt masculine. I always found it difficult how genderfluid people could tell when they felt like a specific gender and it caused me to fall into a toxic way of viewing it as I was categorising what was male and female, so thankfully I soon realised this and now I am comfortable identifying as genderqueer. And if you are genderqueer, it is a bit like non binary where you identify as outside of the gender binary, but it has that political side of it so you don't necessarily have to identify as trans to be genderqueer.
Literally no trans person I know would walk out (esp while recording) for being misgendered. They go thru much worse lmao. Not to mention how monotone her voice is, such ragebait. And people believe it 💀
I am trans like 12 of my friends are also transgender (so not all of them but a lot) and I don’t think most people even correct people when they get misgendered out of fear much less be rude about it
That’s what I’m thinking. There’s literally trans people being beaten to death by bullies I feel like being accidentally misgendered is not something to make that much of a fuss over
It does seem like rage bait, but to what end? The only purpose would be to make trans people look overly sensitive and triggered and crazy. Why would a trans person want to do that? Edit-- I get it now. They're like nickocado. They used ragebait to get attention and clout ultimately as a way to drive people to their OF to make money. Sigh.
Damn was my comment deleted by automod? Because I mentioned lilly Tino being an onlyf---- creator? Are we not allowed to use that word? I didn't even use it, I used the abbreviation. Edit-- and I said I understood why she did ragebait, even though it's demeaning. It's to get more attention, to get more ShmonlyShmans customers. Same business model as the 🥑man.
As a trans guy, I understand your worry with officially diagnosing a child with gender dysphoria. However, accepting a child who expresses feeling that they are the opposite gender etc. doesn’t have to result in a diagnosis until much later! The most loving way to handle the expression of these feelings in children is to listen and ask them compassionate clarifying questions. And then share with them the basics of what it means to be trans, and letting them know that whether they feel this way about their gender forever or change their mind in the future, you’ll be there to love and support them. After this, the only accommodations to be made are allowing them more of a voice while clothes shopping or getting a haircut! :) And paying attention to what types of toys/belongings they gravitate towards! It’s all about gently guiding your child to express themselves both authentically and safely/appropriately. Therapy may not be needed until much later, and HRT wouldn’t even be on the table for years, so that’s not a worry either. So while I do understand your concerns for sure, I think the outcome of affirming children in their identities (whether they stay the same or fluctuate over time) is much more underwhelming than you may have thought!
I was looking for a comment talking about this part as a transgender person I was very uncomfortable with this part of the video because this topic is a very dangerous to talk about trans kids exist and their health and lifes are on the hands of adults that most of the time will underestimate the capacity that children have of thinking critically thank you for your comment!
I totally agree and was looking to see if anybody was going to address this point. I’m not trans but the rhetoric surrounding children has always been challenging at best and bigoted at worst. Not every trans person gets treatments, not every trans person even tells their doctor necessarily. It is unfortunate that when the topic is brought up, people are all too happy to bring up medical treatments that they know nothing about and a body that isn’t theirs. Straight people (I’m straight) are so quick to wanna talk about other peoples genitals but it’s literally not about that… All you have to do is allow your kids to express themselves without “correcting” them about what they’re expected to act like. Regardless, an overall very respectful and reasonable video, just disagree with the logic and rhetoric used in that section. In general I feel like the “what about the children” responses to modern issues are cop outs. Saying “I can tolerate this, but I don’t want my kids to be exposed to it” feels like code for “I’m going to pretend that this issue or person doesn’t exist and when my kids ask about it, I’ll say something mildly hateful and be done with it”.
as a fellow trans guy, i’ve ALWAYS known i was trans, but for a majority of my life i didn’t know what trans was and just thought i was different because no one taught me until i discovered the internet. it’s 10000000% better to teach your kid on your own about stuff like this rather than risk having them look for an adult to teach them on the internet…i don’t think i have to explain why that’s dangerous, and i honestly blame my parents for not teaching me when i CLEARLY showed signs of being trans. i’d always play as the big brother with my friends when we played house, or SPECIFICALLY a boy dog/cat(i loved pretending to be animals), and i remember seeing male characters on tv and getting all fluttery and jealous and at the time thinking i had a crush, but now i realised that it was just gender envy😭😭 i got gender envy from a DOG!!! delgado from beverly hills chihuahua (10/10 movie)
the thing is also the ''mommy i don't wanna wear boy clothes'' does rarely equal ''mommy I'm trans''. clothes don't have a gender as we all know. if you go into a kindergarten right now and ask a little girl what a girl is she will most likely say 'long hair, ress, pink, horse, dolls' same with boys. but the ''thing'' that makes you trans is not the toys you play with or the clothes you like. It's gender/body dysphoria. it often contains the social aspect of ''mommy i don't wann wear boy clothes'' but that is not enough to be classified dysphoria. it's a complex mixture of physical, psychological and social factors. without dysphoria you're not trans. without dysphoria you'd bascially say you chose to be trans. you don't have to call it a disoder if you think thats wrong, but it's interesting that with things like depression or an ED everyone calls for a destigmatisation of the disorder but if someone says ''yea i suffer from the disorder dysphoria where my body does not align with what my head says'' everyone is quick to comment 'no no dyshoria is not a disorder you are not sick you are normal' I find that a bit strange lmoa!! sorry for the long post.. thanks for reading all of it, hope you have a nice rest of the day :)
i did very minimal research as its late here, but many trans people actually dont go through dysphoria, i.e. you can be trans without having dysphoria. more people do suffer from dysphoria, but still, there are some that dont (i personally do, but i have a few enby friends who dont have dysphoria)
@@nomicat13 I'm sorry then I don't think they should be considered trans. Because what makes them want to transition if they're not dysphoric? The "Aesthetic"? Very problematic being trans is not an aesthetic. The social thing? That's quite sexist there's not one way to be a man/woman. "They are uncomfortable with being the way they are." Yes many are. Therapy helps. And in Therapy you can discover whether transitioning is a thing that helps you because your dislike of being the way you were born is dysphoria. By all means I won't ever dictate the way people see themselves, but the more "nom dysphoric" people say they're trans the more insurance companies will say "hey there's no medical need for them to transition they just want to, so they might as well pay for their medical stuff (therapy, surgery, etc) themselves" I'm honest I'm not from the US so i cannot comment on whatever theyre doing but my country would certainly view it like that.
As a trans woman myself i have made mistakes gendering others even myself yes, I've misgendered myself once. mistakes happen. "My father". can't call me by my preferred name after 3 years. my parents are old, but they try. her getting others in trouble is just ickk. Shes just as you said a stain on our community. the fact she's an only fans creator is fine. her trying to get fans but then interacting with kids or making content for kids is just ickk and gross and weird. I personally just worry for those in contact with her from what I've seen by another trans creator lily pressured her to do the only fans with her luckily the other lady said no but it's still really gross in my opinion. I'm keeping my eye out on Lilly and I worry for those in contact with her.
Your attitude towards your parents is refreshing; I think a little understanding and empathy between everyone shows that you are all loving, respectful human beings.The world needs more of that, needs more love; clearly they did an excellent job raising you.
@jillianlambert3596 My father is 69 years old, and my mom's almost 52. They are trying. I just have to give over the past abuse and stuff they did to me for so many years. They still rarely talk to me about it or apologize for the things. I just have to get over it.
@@violetniemiec1602 ...that actually doesn't seem super healthy, man. you don't have to tolerate that, because if it's been three years and they still refuse to call you by your name, it sounds like they really ARENT trying, and you deserve better than that. also, you absolutely do not need to just "get over it" that they abused you for years. i'm so sorry that happened to you, and i hope you have a support system of people who treat you better than they do. a stranger getting your pronouns wrong and your dad ignoring your name for years aren't really comparable, no?
I don’t think kids need to know about sex before gender at all. They learn about gender from the second they are born and there’s nothing inherently sexual about gender, even if gender is relevant to sexuality. As you said really well! Not to say diagnose 4 year olds, because talk to any queer or trans person and there’s a good chance they went through many identities before finding the one that truly matches them, self included. You can know there’s something different about yourself without figuring out what that is and will always be immediately. And the neurodivergent thing is very true. But I think there’s a difference between listening to kids and allowing a kid to express themselves in a way that makes them happy, or teaching them to accept others, versus locking them into a decision they made as a young child, including locking them in to the gender they were assigned at birth. And I absolutely do not think there’s any reason to make Disneyland genitalia videos when you’re also making children’s educational content. There’s zero reason for that. And the combination of public sex work and educational kid videos is gross. And wearing gendered clothing equaling gender is so archaic, I want to scream
Man i agree so much, people need to give their kids both "boy" and "girl" toys when theyre old enough for toys and just lt them choose what kind of stuff they like instead of making them choose based on gender
@@kittysoftpaws3677 I'd rather the kid verbally decide for themselves what kinda toys they want as opposed to just getting both genders of toys. if you aren't sure what stuff they'd like, get them something that isn't gendered at all. I remember as a little girl, I would BEG my mom for a robotic T-rex toy cus my brother got one and I wanted one. I'd get the Boy Happy meals cus they always had way better toys, like TNMT. I wanted a Nerf gun/Nerf gun set, but my parents got me the fucking NERF Rebel version and the Shitty Bow and Arrow it came with. I hated NERF Rebel cus it was far worse than a real NERF gun. Girls toys, in general, were always just shitter in quality than Boys toys were. Yaknow what- just never get girl-specific toys. 99% of them now adays are either poop related or baby related anyways. It's weird.
yesss like a 4-5 year old should be able to ask to be called whatever they want. it's why even if you socially transition, a lot of kids don't medically transition. and if they do go on hormone blockers, then they change their identity as they learn more about themselves, they can undo that and start their puberty.
exactly!!!! the comments are so transphobic under the other videos, they misgender her and use the wrong pronouns saying “HE needs to get it together” i think that’s so sickening. there are ways to go after someone without committing borderline hate crimes
OH MY GOD THANK YOU FR THO I CAN NEVER WATCH THESE VIDEOS USUALLY CAUSE THEY START CALLING PEOPLE WRONG PRONOUNS AND IT IRKS ME BUT HE STILL USED THE CORRECT ONES EVEN IF SHE IS SHOT
I noticed this too, it's frustrating. I'm glad to see a video that finally criticizes Lily Tino's actions rather than her identity. All of these other videos are literally just hate propaganda against the trans community because of one bad person. :/
20:42 on topic with this, I do partly agree, you shouldn’t always diagnose a VERY young child with gender dysphoria BUT, there are many cases of kids as young as 4 thinking they are trans, and continuing to know that all the way up to their current age of being adults. Children do experience and have gender dysphoria You just need to be educated on it, and it needs to be done properly, the way Lilly describes it. Bad. Not accurate. Kids always go through the “I don’t want to wear my gender clothing!” Even when cis. Annoying she makes it seem like everyone that does that is trans
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! damn no!!!! naah... nope. sterilizing kids is unethical. all of this is overall not ok and beyond 'just' unethical on so many levels. no need to educate most ppl on such a rare thing that isn't essential. social media is so wrong for pushing all of this. it's kids man. kids are weird af, so are teens. puberty is rough!!! confusing, so damn confusing. menstruation and those ups and downs daily, I still struggle, hormones need to do their job to keep us alive. no need to interrupt this beautiful creation of the universe ♡
not like there was a whole "tomboy" thing or someone might just be gender non-conforming, or that some kids have issues with dresses or pants or even coats!
I mean, my mom told me when I was younger, I tried cutting all my hair off so I could be a boy because boys could do all the cool stuff. And guess what? I'm mascfluid. I think I was like 5/6 when I did that and I really wanted to be a boy 😂
hi trans man here, i rarely correct people of my pronouns bec most people correct themselves! i don't think i would ever complain to a restaurant that an employee who is just trying to get their paycheck used the wrong wording for me like it really isnt that deep at all, everytime she tries to guilt trip these workers i literally sigh like girl get a life and stop eating out if its such a triggering problem for you
As a trans girl i agree if someone misgenders me i just let them get on with their work, I feel so bad for minimum wage workers and getting mad at them is not only just rude but they probably feel bad too
I don’t call it out if it’s an interaction where I won’t see them again. It’s a waist of energy on both parts to me, especially when I know I don’t pass that well. I sound like a woman, and it’s not their fault they didn’t sus me out. If I see them everyday I will say what I prefer to be called, and they usually do well if they want to. If they don’t want to, I physically can’t make them want to, so it doesn’t matter. Waste of time. Some people are more sensitive about it, which I understand. It does suck to have every outside force feel like it’s invalidating who you are inside, but I don’t like that she guilt trips people who simply didn’t know any better because she’s a stranger to them. That’s stupid.
I get called 'ma'am' and 'miss' and 'darling' every time I go out. They don't know I'm non binary, and I wouldn't make it a hard time for the person who is probably over-worked, under-paid, and exhausted. It happens. It sucks, yeah, but it happens. And life goes on.
and ppl just refer to u based on presentation. if i presented more masculine then at first glance ill be referred to by he/him (my proper pronouns). but if i was more fem ill unfortunately be addressed as she cuz ppl will just go according to how they perceived u no matter how wrong they may be.
It's also like.... how are people supposed to know if you are a stranger? I don't want to be offending anyone, and I've unfortunately had so much aggression from some trans women about their pronouns (they were just not very nice people in general, it had nothing to do with them being trans, I hope what I'm saying makes sense) I'm a bit scared to even address people now, because I don't want to be yelled at for making a mistake, even if I wouldn't knowingly misgender someone :(
Tbh I’m used to it as a FTM trans guy I only correct people that are friends but nicely like “hey, can you please call me he/him or it/its? I would greatly appreciate it.” It’s not that hard to be kind also you shouldn’t expect a stranger to get your pronouns right, they assume by your looks and voice it happens I even get it wrong sometimes but I ask or check their profile for their pronouns. Bam problem solved.
@@sophronielif it’s a stranger and a short interaction you don’t even have to guess, just a “excuse me, do you know where (blank) is?” usually you don’t even need to refer to people with binary pronouns if you don’t plan on talking to them in depth, gender neutral terms are proper nouns in the English language for a reason, you won’t always know and that’s fine
Hi! I am a cis music teacher and I have a few trans students! Clearly, I’m not an expert on the subject, but I think it’s really important to let kids express themselves in whatever way makes them feel comfortable, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone intentionally! Kids have told me they feel comfortable going by different names and pronouns they were given at birth across all age ranges, but mostly in the middle school to high school range. Every time this happens, even if the parent doesn’t know yet, I honor that kid’s wishes because I aim to have a positive learning environment, one that encourages self expression, joy, and confidence in yourself and your abilities! I think it would be a shame to tell a student that I think they should wait to want to be called a different name or pronoun just because I deem them not ready. Often times, these kids blossom in class because they feel more free to be themselves (even if who they are is ever-evolving) and it is SO rare for any of the other kids to bat an eye at the change! I find that children are much more accepting than adults and that shame and bigotry really are taught behaviors. Anyways, end of rant, just here to remind everyone that kids are people too and sometimes they do know what’s right for them! LISTEN TO KIDS!
You can scientifically conceptualize your gender at ages 3-4, which is why you hear some trans people saying that they knew since they were 3. Sure, a toddler isn't gonna have the proper vocabulary or know that they're trans but they might feel weird or off about how other people perceive them or even how they perceive themselves. For example, I always felt weird whenever my family referred to me as a girl when I was 3 when I didn't view myself as such.
The best commentary Lily Tino COULD be making about being misgendered too is that we should REMOVE gendered language from the workforce. Saying "sir" or "ma'am" to someone isn't really needed in most interactions these days. You can just greet someone with "Hello, how can I help you?" or serve something with "Here you go." That would legitimately be the most productive and progressive way to do things rather than still wanting people to assume, and hoping they just assume correctly.
Yeah this is what I don't understand, seems like a very American thing. In Australia we are just like "hey how are ya", sir and ma'am also just seens very....I'm your servant rather than an equal.
@@Lani-wo2ie Heavy agree, as an American in my day to day I rarely use sir or ma'am if ever. I can't even recall the last time I did. I think it also comes along with the stereotype of "Boomers demand insane respect" where they WANT you to feel like you're a servant rather than an equal if you aren't working a "respectable job".
I live in the south so that’s just how we do it here. I think the issue is how are the rest of us supposed to know what you want to be referred to as or what may be offensive to you when you don’t look or sound like what you want to be referred to as? If I saw Lily out in public, I would have thought she was a gay male. I think it’s out of touch to think others should change how they speak to please such a small portion of the population. Just correct the person and move on
THIS! I work in food service and do this at work because I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I also just think sir/maam just feels uncomfortable to use 😭
I actually agree with believe 4 or 5 year old kids when they they're trans. But if they later realize they are actually cis, believe them again. Just support kids as they explore their identity ❤
Trans folk here, agree! I knew at 4 something wasn't right, I learned words for it at 9. Listen to kids, allow them to express in their early age (nothing irreversible happens for first 16-18yrs.)
as a trans man myself i think that children should be allowed to explore their gender, in my opinion theres no harm in letting kids experiment with hair, clothes and yes even a different name or pronouns in some cases. and if a childs feelings about this are persistant it can be helpful to get a gender therapist or the like, because they can actually help with figuring out if the kid is experiencing gender dysphoria or something else. anything permanent like hormones isnt going to be prescribed to a prepubescent child anyways just from personal experience i can say that being allowed to have short hair and wear "boys" clothes as a kid did help me feel more comfortable, but it still took me until i was 17 years old to fully realise and accept that i was trans. my little sister also loved dressing masculine and having short hair and for a while she insisted that she was a boy and wanted to use a masc nickname of her actual name. now that shes older she seems perfectly content as a girl tho and i dont think exploring her gender like that as a kid really hurt her. my parents didnt really know much about trans stuff until i came out and they still dont really understand a lot of things so it wasnt them being woke or anything. they were just fine with "girls" being masculine, probably would have been different the other way around tho
@@kailumdarcy1127It means he is a man - Trans people (typically) go by their current, most accurate gender identity, even when acknowledging transness.
1:02:08 Trans women CAN, in fact, produce sperm. The amount/quality is the only issue. It’s completely possible for a transgender woman to impregnate or use ivf/iui to have biological children with a partner that produces eggs (assuming she has frozen sperm, is willing to go off HRT, or hasn’t gone through SRS). Estrogen can make a trans woman infertile, but it isn’t guaranteed.
20:08 honestly, giving a kid freedom to dress or be addressed as they want when they’re a kid is pretty… normal. I thought I was an Actimel warrior when I was 5 and wanted others to call me that. And they did. And it went away. It doesn’t really matter what kids want you to call them, and the only reason you’re so upset about that is because transgender people are stigmatized. The idea of someone juggling between gender identities is upsetting to you only because we’re talking about gender. But people don’t realize gender, especially the social construct of gender, isn’t inherently sexual
27:33 also, genitalia surgeries or procedures shouldn’t be a taboo topic… you think why women are afraid of going to a gyno, or men of getting their prostate checked ? I think that any talk about surgeries in a public place is a wee bit weird, but if we can talk about one surgery then why can’t we talk about a different one? Just because it’s “more sensitive” to you? It’s double standards and cherry picking at its finest
@@floooooooo9I agree, but I think it’s more so a “these are graphic procedures being explained in public spaces with people who didn’t ask” than anything else.
I strongly disagree with the second part. The reason it bothers people is not that transpeople are stigmatized. It's because of the implications it can bring, like kids wanting to change their bodies at an age where they can't fully understand the consequences. If a kid wants to be called a cat, they won't eat out of a bowl on the floor, relieve themselves in a litterbox, or get a prostethic tail and fur implanted all over their bodies. Of course, kids like to identify as Superman, a mermaid, or the opposite gender. But for the first two, we all know that that's a phase. They don't get pushed into believing it even more. Parents go along with it as a form of play, that's all. A girl saying "i'm a boy" might have gender dysphoria, just like she might be a tomboy or simply prefer boy's toys. Or may simply like playing pretend. That's why simply believing them and affirming them is so dangerous!
19:23 hey so a little note, dysphoria and dysmorphia are two different things! Dysphoria is what we know as gender dysphoria, when you feel that discomfort about your body and your gender because you do not feel comfortable with it, While dysmorphia is generally a term used for body dysmorphia, which is perceiving your body completely differently than others do, and this is mainly related to TCAs :D
Could I ask what you mean by TCAs? Like antidepressants? I have PMDD which stands for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. The symptoms are mental and physical and would be a very long list. It took forever to get diagnosed and it runs my life. But I get so confused to what the name of it even means, google doesn't help much and I was the first patient of my psychiatrist to diagnose me with it.
oh man 🙄 I have body dysmorphia and I know what I'm talking about... being overstimulated in some body parts bc of clothes or puberty overall (breasts, etc) can look the same for a kid/teen. wrapped up all of this is heavily spreaded misinformation by the elite to control population/eugenics à la ww👉🏼👉🏼. nobody can change their gender no matter how hard they want to. the mass stupidity is wild... educate yourself, but first erase EVERYTHING
I had a coworker who had a child who was very defiant that they were a boy, despite being born female, at age 4. He started wanting to wear different clothes and go by a different name. Some kids *do* know, and social transition for them is harmless
Some know. Some don’t. There are parts of this world where gay people (especially boys) get pushed into transitioning because that’s less shameful for the family. I think it is ok to let children experiment with stuff like their names and identities. But you don’t need to socially transition them at a young age. Give them the freedom to find out if they want to stick to it or change it again.
@@reissecupfilms why do you need to tho? I don’t mean that you shouldn’t allow the child to call themselves by a different name. But why the need for a transition? Why not let them figure it out without external pressure? Coming out is hard. Coming out as “not trans anymore” can also be hard when there has been a social transition already. Most decisions we make lead somewhere that can become permanent. It is easy to say that decisions are all reversible. But often times it isn't as easy in practice than it is in theory.
@@reissecupfilms there are ALWAYS side effects to everything we do. Why does a young child need to socially transition? Why not let them be a child and take their time?
lots of trans people do know when they were young children that they were trans. Encouraging kids to think about gender isn’t “diagnosing” kids with gender dysphoria 😭
Yeah I was thinking this too. Like- I don’t think Lily is trying to medicalize the kids when they’re four, she was just saying that if your kid says they like wearing dresses, there’s no harm in letting the kid wear dresses.
@@joieaston3569 onion boy happened. He's notorious for getting videos about him taken down if the creator slips up with their wording of fair use act and not saying "allegedly" at the right times
@joieaston3569 the first part was a recap of onision's past "alleged" predatory behaviors to his girl fiends and wife. He brushed up on his return to the internet and how the netizens are not happy he's back. If you type in onision's return, there are other creators who have covered this topic recently if you're interested.
Tbh, I didn't know I was trans until I found out it was a thing. I kneww since Kindergarten, so actually around 4,that being a boy would be cool, but I kinda gave up that idea pretty quick since kid me thought it was impossible. Once my chest started to grow I felt way more uncomfortable in my body and all. So, after a while I was like 'Yeah, I think I'm trans'.
@@321hackertime5 I didn't only hung out with guys, I generally didn't hang out with anybody since even in kindergarten somehow everyone thought I was weird. In first grade I got my first real friends. 2 guys, both also odd ones out
believing kids when they say they don't wanna be this or that gender is valid tho... believing them ≠ teaching or asserting gender dysphoria. imo believing kids is to give them more space to explore their own identities. believing them also doesn't equal anything medical
Being trans and having gender dysphoria are not interchangeable. This is a common misconception that has come from phobic far right rhetoric/talking points. (My tone is not hostile, just informing a stranger. Intention is to help stranger. Plz no drama)
@@MrsPixie-ni4lbholy shit are you serious? this isn't right wing at all. gender dysphoria proves the existence of trans people needing to transition to feel comfortable. you clearly are misinformed. do not spread that anywhere.
yes to both these things. it's super valid and important to listen to children's feelings on gender and allow them to express it however makes them happy. All it results in is children who are happier with themselves and their body regardless of what their gender expression ends up being. they don't have to be dysphoric to find expressing themselves something that brings them joy.
Hi, trans man here, I agree with most of your points. But I believe that allowing children in therapy for anything is generally good. Even simply allowing children to dress up or explore their expression. You are correct, nothing is set in stone and it should never be until they are an adult. I say let people be people. I also completely agree with the crossdressing take. I have always dressed masculine in childhood without realizing why it made me feel so comfortable until my twenties. I think gender is a spectrum. There is no one way to be a man or a woman. People should be allowed to explore themselves freely without this speculation or imposed boxes.
Another trans man here‼️ I agree, I realized my gender identity didn’t really match up to how I felt at like 11-12, so I just explored it, I went from genderfluid- nonbinary- then agender before landing in being a transgender guy. This kinda spanned over 3 years n stuff, so it wasn’t a quick process. I think it’s important to let kids explore themselves, figure out what they want and support them along the way.
Absolutely wild to see your video after this one get taken down while I'm watching it for "violating the policy of harassment and bullying". I hope you manage to get it back up. Love your content.
it's crazy how obsessed with labels and fitting into boxes we have become compared to the previous decades. We have gone from breaking gender norms to reinforcing them by convincing people if they do something or act outside of their gender norm they must be harboring gender dysphoria and are trans but haven't figured it out yet.
its ironic cuz the whole point of trans movement is break the binary, why are we repackaging it again? kurt cobain was a real person, hes not a character that you just headcanon. i dont think hes trans, he might have a queer presentation but hes simply just a nonconforming man.
Hi! Trans guy here. I agree with most of your takes here, especially with her giving very bastardized and oversimplified summaries of being transgender. However, one part stuck out to me, in the section where you criticized her for telling people to believe their kid when they say they're trans. I think that we should Believe children when they say that they're not the gender they were assigned at birth. They don't need to know all the intricacies of being transgender to BE transgender. The understanding of those intricacies comes with age as a trans person, and is NOT a requirement to be trans. Little Timmy doesn't need to know the social background of gender dating hundreds of thousands of years ago, to know that he wants to be called Timmy, instead of Sally. kids know themselves more than anyone, and these are formative years in their lives, let them discover that. and if they realize they're not trans later down the line, that's fine. no harm! hope my points came across clear, I'm a bit scatterbrained when i write my ideas, so do ask questions if you need clarifications. Great video!
This was very well said! Somebody else in the comments mentioned they knew at 4 but just didn't have the words for it then. That's why education is so important.
This is exactly what I wanted to say and I hope he, and more people, get to read it. It's very much conflating being trans with diagnosing gender dysphoria. They aren't really the same thing, though they are very intertwined. A lot of people only think of gender as being a physical thing, but social dysphoria is also a thing, and what most kids will feel when they are younger.
This whole ksi crying situation has me mentally drained on top of sixth form and all its homework, so seeing a new dankyjabo video released is quite literally making me soooo much happier. Dankyjabo and scream 2 (rewatching) what a night this is going to be
also it's really weird that she describes being trans as just wearing "other gender" clothes? i'm a woman but i HATE dresses and skirts because i find them uncomfortable. they usually don't have pockets, horrible when you want to sit and you have to be careful not to show your underwear. that doesn't make me trans! wtf and i describe myself as somewhat a futch lesbian lol
Gotta say, I love these long videos so much 😭. Sitting down and watching them are great, keep it up. Lily tinos like broomstick *ehem* and ice cream examples are so weird 😭😭
The way you went about this topic should be the standard for how other channels approach the mess that is Lily Tino. I've been trying to find someone who talks about the things Lily did wrong without being transphobic as hell. I want to thank you for this video. It's so fucked up that I have to thank you for having a measured and informed take that isn't transphobic.
I’m a trans guy, and this video was the most respectful i’ve seen about her. however, i disagree on your views on transgender kids. Most kids cannot go on HRT until 13-14. The only medical proceedures for people under those ages are puberty blockers which are 100% reversible, and only block puberty from happening, it doesnt damage anything. if a child thinks they are trans and they tell you, believe them! I knew i was trans when i was 10, and if my mother would have brushed me off, i wouldn’t be here right now. my family took a bit getting to learn, but i am alive today because my parents believed that I was trans. I started HRT when I was 14, and I have not regretted it once. if a child comes out at 4 and they are taken seriously, they live their lives as the gender they want. socially transitioning is difficult but it can be reversed. someone needs to go through at least 1 year of therapy in order to get HRT, a therapist will make them wonder if they actually want HRT, and they ask a bunch of questions like that. believe kids when they say they’re trans. they can always stop going by those pronouns or name, but if a child is genuinely suffering with gender dysphoria, and it is ignored, there is a possibility that that child will end their lives. i’m not hating on you at all, and i understand that point of view. children are fragile mentally sometimes and can be stubborn, but it’s always better to believe that child than to not to avoid the child hating themselves and feeling like you won’t believe in them.
I completely agree. In most areas in America, you have to be 16 to start HRT. If adverse effects from puberty blockers are a worry, you can convene with the medical professionals that are working with your child to minimize any risks. And it's a common misunderstanding that a child asserting a transgender identity is something permanent. You can stop identifying as something at any time, and most people will support your choice. For example, at around 11, I identified as non-binary. Literally nothing changed but my pronouns.
@@JuneyperTree fr!! i get that a lot of people assume that as soon as a child comes out that medicine is shoved at them. i had to BEG my parents to let me on HRT before i was 18 and later on i had to beg them to let me go on it before 16 because i mentally couldn’t wait anymore. i was so lucky to be able to go on it when i had turned 14.
It is veryyyyy common for super young trans kids to show sign of gender dismorphia. Im currently 18, and even though I didn't realize I was trans until a few years ago, I can recognize signs in my younger self showing I was. From saying I wanted to be a boy to leaning towards more masculine things once I had the concept of gender. We should believe all trans kids, even if they're four, because four year olds can acknowledge the fact that they feel differently. That doesn't mean if a little girl says she wants to be a boy, shes trans. Kids say stuff like that all the time. While we should believe trans kids, I think the best thing to do is to also go to professionals to avoid labeling a young kid with something they're not. While from what I know, kids knowing that young isn't common, it still happens and can still be valid. When I think of trans kids, I always think of a quote a mom of a trans kid said, "I'd rather have a kid who changes their pronouns a bunch of times then a dead one."
Not sure if it’s from not even realizing whether it is an ad that can be skipped until too algorithmically late orrrrrr not…..soooo maybe RU-vid just does now suck
So glad you rode in on your valiant broomstick to tackle this topic. You were very genuine and supportive of this community while also calling out problematic practices and behavior. Thanks for the diligent work. You have a new subscriber who watched way too much of this video. I really appreciate long-form content. It's a lost art in this world.
I need to add something important here. Just because a girl plays with boy toys (or the other way around) doesn't mean they are questioning their identity. It is a little deeper than that. I've seen this tiktoker use that argument so much, as if tomboys don't exist.
Personally I disagree with the whole thing of not knowing about kids being right about themselves as before you can get any medical stuff you have to be a certain age, have parental consent, go to so so so many appointments doing mental health checks and explaining everything. Also for example if a kid who was ftm got on blockers that would save them from needing top surgery, in also sorta sick of hearing the thing about kids with learning disabilities as a lot of the time people will use that against kids especially autistic people in general by infantalizing them and acting like they have no otonomy.
Save them? Dude wtf. That would fuck up their mental and physical development detrimentaly. You cant do that to a kid who might not be totally sure yet. Lt them express themselves how they wish but puberty blockers are jut evil.
@@kittysoftpaws3677There's plenty of trans kids who don't end up regretting it though? Sure, let them experiment for a year. But if they're still absolutely certain that yeah, that is what they want or need, don't ruin their life by not letting them get medicine for the problem. Blockers can be a trans kids lifeline, as it'll stop them from going through a puberty that'll ruin their entire mental state depending on how bad the dysphoria is
@@kittysoftpaws3677stop pushing the narrative that puberty blockers are bad. They're to give people time to figure out where they want to go. Doctor limit their use to three years and have frequent check ups and blood work to make sure the patient's body is still healthy. They do nothing but give the patient time to figure out what they want to do. stop spreading misinformation.
Around 19:00 , I just wanna say that at 4-5 years old, a child's "transition" would consist of clothing, name, pronouns, and hairstyle/haircut change. So it isn't dangerous to say that a kid may be trans. Especially since no medical transitioning would be included. But it should be left up to the kid rather than the parent to figure out.
You're describing 'social transitioning', which is not a benign placeholder but instead is a powerful intervention. Children who are not encouraged to socially transition go on to desist from cross-sex ideation in over 85% of cases. In contrast, around 90% of children who do socially transition later go on to use pubertal suppressants and cross-sex exogenous hormones, both of which have serious and sometimes permanent unwanted effects. People talk about social transition like it's completely ineffective and means nothing. It isn't.
@@username.not.known2473Sorry for being that guy but, sources? Also I don't know why you added the part of hormones "seriously" affecting the body, mate that's the whole point lmao Male pattern baldness might be seen as an 'unwanted' effect but that's what testosterone does. If your dad's bald and you take testosterone you're gonna go bald too, that's what testosterone is gonna do to you. If you don't want the effects then you're not obligated to take hormones, you can be trans and not want to medically transition
@@username.not.known2473 yeah well i mean going through puberty without HRT has also led to some permanent and unwanted effects on my body, i'll tell you what
Wow. Something so absolutely subtle and random that i really appreciate as a trans man is that you actually call her "she". Ive noticed that even more progressive people making videos about trans people almost exclusively call them by "they/them", even if thats not the actual pronouns they use. I understand that a lot of people dont understand and are just doing their best to avoid hate, but to me it often feels like just avoiding calling the trans person (often trans women) their true pronouns. A really subtle thing, but hearing you talk about your trans friend as well as Lily throughout the video made me tear up a little. Well done, its really truly just enough of a little thing to make me feel very safe watching your videos.
I work at a daycare that watches lots of Miss Rachel on RU-vid and I agree children should learn of transgender people existing and I feel it could be beneficial if explained clearly and correctly but the way Lily explains it can cause more confusion . I agree that a child as young as 4 can grasp the basic concepts of what a transgender person is and the part about accepting a friend who transitions is a great lesson to learn young but the first video only “attempted” to explain things through a rhetorical , instead of explaining anything in a more general and clear way. The fact that she posts NSFW content alongside her “educational” CHILDREN content shows she never truly cared for educating kids on this topic because if Lily did she wouldn’t post these vastly different things on the same account.
I love how you remained respectful! Most people misgender transgender people when they do something bad which makes them look like they’re just jumping at the chance to misgender someone. Gender isn’t something that can be taken away as if it’s some kind of reward for good behavior.
As a trans guy, when people sincerely mess up it is not that deep. My friend messes up my pronouns a lot (even name sometimes too) and y'know if I catch it I'll be like "oh dude...." and she corrects herself/apologises, sometimes I'll be a twat about it, but it's a joke and that's because we're friends!!! Also, I think you'd look so nice in a auburn/chestnut coloured top and/or a steel breastplate :)
33:44 I totally get what you're saying here, but when it comes to trans kids it's exactly like how cis kids know what gender they are. I knew I was a boy when I was around 5-6 years old (I was born female). I actually remember thinking I was born male around that time, and had crushes on girls my age in my Sunday school classes. If I and other trans people can know at such a young age that we're trans, other kids can, too. And if cis kids can understand their own gender, so can trans kids. Medical transition does not start until around 16-18 years of age. The most "medical intervention" there is for older kids (12+) is puberty blockers, which are reversible. I honestly would give anything to go back in time and go on puberty blockers so that I could pass better, dude.
about the diagnosing kids as young as 4, i think its honestly chill if a kid wants to change their name or presentation to what makes them comfortable. giving them autonomy like that is completely fine and its not your job to dictate what their life should be, listening to them is your job
I'm nonbinary and I consider that trans. Other nonbinary people don't. I think the line is drawn based on the individual. I've always just believed that, aside from how biological sex affects us physically, mentally, and biologically, it's kind of irrelevant. We just love gendering things too much. She almost touches on that kind of pretty well, but then she shoots it all to hell just as quickly.
Another enby here: It is considered trans by definition. Transgender is categorized as not identifying as your birth sex - which being Nonbinary is exactly that as well. Anything outside of cisgender would be trans. Genderfluid would be, Agender would be, Bigender, even xenogenders, would be transgender, as you're not identifying as cisgender. It's not limited to being a trans man or woman!
its not harmful for kids to explore their gender even at that age. lots of people knew they were trans at 4 or 5, and some thought they were trans and later realized they were not, and thats ok too and safe and should be encouraged. kids know more than we think and we should encourage them to explore their gender, even cis children. great video regardless!
while I explored my gender as a teen, ive had friends who transitioned as early as 7 and they knew way before that as well. even some had parents who encouraged this, and they are honestly way better off in terms of confidence, mental wellness, and connection with their family.
I not trying to argue here but for me personally I didn’t know I was genderfluid until last year I’m currently 18 I used to be proud of being a girl but when I became a teenager I started to feel more neutral and when I was 16 I identified as agender but every now and then I would feel like a woman or feel like a man or some where in between or something else.
Okay, so first off, thank you for at least trying to be as respectful as possible with this video, but there are a few things that I have thoughts about: 1) Biological male/female: While, yes, trans people have a biological sex, trans intersex people do exist, and many trans folks don’t like this term because it excludes our intersex siblings. 2) Transgenderism: Transgender is an adjective describing someone who identifies as a gender different than that of which we were assigned at birth. Adding “ism” to “transgender” makes the word into a belief system, but science proves our gender identity is determined by our brain phenotype (the Journal of Sexual Medicine’s studies on trans and cis brains), so please don’t use “transgenderism” to refer to transness and trans people. 3) Trans experiences do vary from person to person, like you mention in your video, but if cisgender children are old enough to understand they identify as the same gender they were assigned at birth, trans children are old enough to understand their gender identity is different than that or which they were assigned at birth. For example, I realized at 13 that I was nonbinary, but Ve’ondre Mitchell came out as trans at the age of seven and took hormone blockers to avoid having male puberty in her early teens/late adolescence. All that being said, this video is very well-said otherwise, and I very much appreciate that you’re talking about this topic with good intentions. Keep up the good work!
1:08:00 i think you misunderstood the point lily was making - doctors DO assign gender based off of gentalia and this doesnt account for intersex people who's symptoms dont manifent in a way that is visible to the naked eye. people are assigned one gender at birth and end up developing completely differently because genitals doesnt always equal hormones
As a trans person I hate when people make a big deal out of saying sorry about misgendering because while I appreciate they’re saying sorry but it doesn’t need to be a big deal.
I'm non-binary, but very obviously will be seen as a woman. There are 3 types of situations when it comes to someone saying she/her to me. I correct once and move on is the bottom line for me. ~If they do it again purposely and don't apologize it says more about them than me. Not worth my energy. ~If they do it again and apologize I reassure them and move on. ~If they do it again and apologize I reassure them and move on, but then they insist on apologizing I tell them that them making a bigger deal out of it then I am is making everything awkward. Just apologize once, correct yourself, and move on. I swear the ones that make a huge scene out of being misgendered are the ones most insecure and need to work on themselves rather insist others are in the wrong.
Hey Jabo, gender dysphoria isn't the same as being trans, being trans is a person identifying as a gender different from what they were assigned at birth, gender dysphoria is the extreme feeling of dread regarding your body and how people see you and how you see yourself all around gender, how are doesnt match up, how much it all hurts. Another thing: If a young kid is curious about exploring gender, it's good for a parent to support so that the kid can avoid gender dysphoria. I agree with you on letting kids live out their childhood, but if a kid tells their parent(s) that they want to try on clothes from the other gender's section, they should go for it, it probably won't even mean the kid is trans, if the kid wants to go by a different name or be called a boy or a girl, I think it's good to try it out, make the kid comfortable during their childhood and allow exploration, it may be a phase, but it's good to have an understanding of your identity and can really help avoid discomfort
I think this person would benefit from letting go of their strict ideas of gender. Clothes don’t have gender. And I know other people’s perception of my gender doesn’t change that I know it doesn’t completely accurately describe me (it barely describes anyone)
Honestly if a kid wants to stick with gender affirming therapy from 5-7, unprompted, and they’re actively seeking out community of likeminded people, I would be inclined to take them seriously. Yeah, kids change, but they know who they are better than anyone else.
18:22 Deciding to put my piece on this part as a trans man, and while I should move and listen to what you said first, I need to say this I didn’t realise I felt any different until I was 8 I was feminine I thought I was a cis girl When I was 8 I started puberty. My body changing to what my sex dictated made me realise I am anything but a girl I didn’t know, I had no clear way of knowing. If I hadn’t hit puberty that early, or for whatever reason didn’t experience puberty (either through puberty blockers or a condition) I wouldn’t have realised at such a young age that something was wrong This is also why I feel puberty blockers are good for those who recognise before puberty, but not everyone in general as the only way they could realise may be puberty making them realise how uncomfortable they are EDIT: Oh, and I was also allowed to pick my own toys. ‘Boy’ toys and ‘girl’ toys. I could pick either. I tended to pick ‘girl’ toys. AND nevermind the fact that femboys and tomboys do exist, they might just end up going through the opposite of what I went through (the tomboy to trans man pipeline lol)
I'm still at 43:32 but About the topic of kids identifying as trans very early on: What I would do is, yes, believe them, but giving them space for them to feel comfortable enough so that if they change their mind later in life, they dont feel pressure to continue identifying as trans or with that gender identity they did so previously. Gender is a journey of discovery, for some people its a short journey, for other its a longer and everchanhing one. The more you learn about yourself the more you will learn about what you feel more comfortable and happy as. For some people, being cis is what they are, they dont question their gender or, when they do, being trans isnt right. But giving kids of whatever age time and space to explore themselves is never a bad idea. And on the topic of femininity: You can be feminine and be a cis man, saying that any man who is feminine is trans (or any woman who is masculine too) is its immediately applying cisheteronormativity which is what we want to separate ourselves from. And that also puts pressure on other trans people, because then trans men feel forced to be hypermasculine to "prove they're trans" and trans women feel the need to be hyperfeminine for exactly the same reason when gender is WAY MORE rich than that. I myself am genderfluid and I am fine with almost any pronoun that isnt she/her, but I like to wear skirts, dress pretty and I am, myself, very feminine. That does NOT make me any less trans even tho I sometimes dress how society expects me to, but I feel different inside and that is what makes me trans. My papa is a cis man, he likes to have good skincare products and uses moisturising masks every few days, he likes to wear pink shirts and he LOVES telenovelas and soap operas (turkish ones are his current obsession), he is no less of a man or masculine because of that, and as someone who grew up in an incredibly misogynistic home, I am forever proud he isnt afraid to express his likes for traditionally feminine stuff. And also about misgendering, both my boyfriend and I are trans and we slip up at times and I have slipped up with friends to and them with me, its no biggie and making a big stink out of it when the person is clearly apologetic is just not the way
on trans kids: many kids are highly aware of their gender especially as they move into establishments outside the home (particularly school at that age). some may not be but may feel somewhat out of place until they reach puberty or even adulthood and have the language to describe themselves. so no, i don't think its shocking or wrong that a 5 y/o knows they're trans, especially since by that time they are now exposed to gender roles that may not have been present at home. the only issue would be telling a kid that they are trans, but this is insanely rare (and rhetoric used by transphobes to justify transphobia against children and attacking affirming families). the only transition even available at such a you g age is social, which is 100% reversible. once they reach puberty, they can use puberty blockers if they would like, which are also 100% reversible. im trans and i vaguely understood that since i was very young. however i didnt have the language to describe it and it really wasn't something talked about even then (im 20 now) and grew up in a home and community that didn't really enforce many gender roles. it wasnt until puberty i realized something was really wrong and found the language for it. if i could have had that at a younger age, i would be so much more comfortable now edit: also, uterus transplants HAVE been researched recently, however, they have not been successful yet and i dont believe they've said we're THAT close yet
29:48 I would like to let everyone know that AJ is a bad guy lol 😭 Not in this situation (I agree with him for once) however he is a conservative 'anti-woke' creator that plays into the 'queer/trans people are groomers' narrative a lot (His channel is AJ Sanchez if anyone wants to check it out for themselves)
Servers go in autopilot. Everyone has their own little internal script they use. Some people say “folks” a lot. “how are we this evening” whatever. Just things you say day in and out. Sir and ma’am are unquestionably the most ones because some people are raised to these them as well. I heard them. They sound like they are in the sir/ma’am compulsion. You can’t forget that, beyond personal belief and empathy, so many people have been raised and trained to say sir and ma’am as the most RESPECTFUL way to speak to people. Most of those people can’t stop it because they’re accustomed to using them with absolutely everyone. This woman is sick. Not because of her life path and identity. Because she is feeding off the energy of negativity and seems to enjoy trying to get people fired for BEING POLITE. And doing their jobs. It’s absolutely ridiculous to pretend like anything she’s filming is malicious or deserving of being reported to a manager. It is so demented. “It’s like a knife through the heart” right yeah totally, that’s why you intentionally subject yourself to it daily, found out to eat and filming HOPING they misgender you so you can get them fired.
Your content is very refreshing. For one thing, you admit that you don’t know everything, but are open to being educated. You demonstrate amazing compassion, whilst providing a balanced approach to very nuanced subject matter. Very glad I found your channel 😊
26:25 don’t give this guy (the one with the semi-existent mustache) credit or anything he said a lot transphobic stuff and accused a Olympic athlete of being trans as well. He also to talks with a blaccent so if he’s not a red flag then idk.
Fun fact: There’s been a lot of debate on whether Lily is trans or an autogynephiliac. Whenever a male content creator transitions later in life, autogynephilia accusations are always thrown at them. But Lily has the most I’ve ever seen and, while I’m not going to disrespect her identity, it is a little compelling to believe.
With the way you talk it's honestly refreshing. You speak with actual knowledge behind your responses to what lily says, most would just shit talk her, but you're giving real responses with real science and knowledge behind it.
I really really enjoyed the breakdown of the whole Kurt Cobain situation, I love music history! Especially when it's being so warped to fit someone's own skewed/misinformed narrative, there needs to be an in-depth look at the facts! Good stuff, another classic Dankyjabo broomstick banger!!
maybe its cus i knew i was a boy and prayed to be one physically from age 4, but I dont really see an issue with a kid socially transitioning or experimenting with gender expression/pronouns. Like as a kid i would tell people constantly I was a boy, and my family forbid me from cutting my hair and never affirmed me at all and it made me very depressed and withdrawn as a kid. I attempted suicide a few times cus the dysphoria was so bad. I also starved myself to stunt my own puberty and stop periods. So I was very malnourished and I still suffer the physical consequences of that to this day. Now that i’m an adult and have been transitioned for a while, my parents agree they should have supported me much earlier, and took me to a gender therapist.
As an lgbt person this feels very nuanced! You did a great job. Edit: maybe one note, idk if it makes sense for children to have had sex ed before learning about transgender people since gender expression isn't about sexual preferences. Although, children should probably be taught rudimentary sex ed at a younger age to help them have the tools to know when they're being abused, how to prevent it, and how to tell an adult if abuse happens, so who knows. But I had thoughts of changing my gender yearsss before I received any sex ed, and I'd never even heard of transgender people at that point. Diagnosis is something that should only be done by medical professionals but I wish I had known what it meant to be transgender at a younger age tbh.
17:09 OUGGGHHG that makes me so MAD. It’s so inappropriate. When my students ask me why I’m a boy, I simply answer “Because it makes me happy” and they seem to get it. Trying to teach kids about being trans by explaining it’s *painful* is so BAD. You’re just teaching kids trans people are constantly suffering. You don’t need to force kids to know empathy for you, they are capable of that on their own.
19:13 my sister is a kindergarten teacher and in her class she had these twin girls. one of them gradually started insisting they were a boy. the parents were definitely a little confused but they figured it didn’t hurt anyone. obviously in cases like this they don’t make permanent decisions for the child
That’s super cute! Obviously the only permanent thing would be HRT and that would never be given to a kid under 13 so there’s no harm! The other kids probably barely notice 😂
@@kittysoftpaws3677 If a 16 year old can consent to having a nose job with parental permission, I think that they should be able to consent to HRT. They're gonna go through puberty either way, I think if someone has been insisting they're trans since they were a very young child and never once gone back on that, it's...pretty safe to assume they'll do okay on HRT.
I'm a trans creator within the community to different degrees, she is clearly ragebaiting at times and it's not worth engaging. The "biiiig sorry" kids video, the Kurt Cobain stuff, the Waiter stuff, yes she is problematic but it's not worth engaging with her content usually.
Exactly. I’m just mad that the transphobes (including self hating trans people like blaire white) are using her to justify their hatred of trans people who aren’t palatable to the cishet community .
Second comment, but now that I'm at the end of the video I wanted to say its quite refreshing to see someone making a video about her that isn't just using this whole thing as an excuse to be transphobic. I like that you didn't take most of what that subreddit said seriously and i like that you went over Lily's response to the allegations against her without taking things out of context and making her seen even worse than she is. And I'm saying this as a trans guy that's known he wasn't a girl since early elementary school, kids should definitely be able to explore their gender without some adult telling them they aren't (or even are sometimes) transgender, if that makes sense
Hey, trans women here, thank you foe not being transphobic, and rather just judging the actions of a single person in the community! Lily definitely goes a bit too far, especially with a camera rolling
Trans woman here. I’m only 5 minutes into the video and there’s already so much wrong with how she acts. Getting misgendered sucks don’t get me wrong, but if it’s accidental it isn’t a big deal. It’s also ok to be affected by it, because gender dysphoria sucks ass, but trying to get someone in TROUBLE is just wrong on so many levels because A: They didn’t Know B: They apologized C: They’re just trying to get through the day in their job
Exactly like the knife in her heart bit makes sense totally but it’s just weird she keeps repeating that 😭 I feel really uncomfortable having to talk about dysphoria to other people, since no one except trans folks really get it, and that’s not universal for everyone but It’s just weird she’s trying to get people into trouble.
@@Premium_jack Exactly. It's not like she doesnt feel that, it's just like... Uncomfortable for me to see someone try to explain that to a random stranger. Just say "Im uncomfy with being misgendered, thank you for correcting yourself!" and then just eat your damn food girl
i know it’s a micro thing, but whenever you think about titling things like this, try replacing “trans” with any other minority group, and see if it still feels appropriate. unless you’re trans yourself, i don’t think you should be calling anyone out based on their identity, even if their content does center around it. it feels quite flippant
I see this but also most other videos about Lilly have been horrifically and clearly transphobic so this one being really respectful towards her pronouns, honestly, I’d rather the title include trans in this case for visibility
@@Premium_jack i agree in that the video is respectful overall, and i know there’s no intentional malice, but i personally think something focusing more on her actions than her identity would be better. it’s a positive presentation, but i don’t believe it will result in a more positive impact on the trans community / trans people as a whole because it centers her identity. i personally think it would be the opposite. all minor issues, of course. especially relative to everything we’re facing right now
My own mother has been called “ Sir” on the phone for years, because she has a deeper voice . And she is a woman identifies as a woman, but she has never called corporate or management for them “ misgendering “ her! This person is insane 🤦🏻♀️🙄
I just found your channel yesterday and I am here for it. Your commentary is so reasonable and it truly feels like you're trying to cover both sides of the broomstick. Definitely subscribing!
5:13 she didn’t say she didn’t care abt being called sir she said she didn’t care abt being called ma’am… meaning that you don’t have to go out of ur way to call her ma’am just don’t call her sir … also the restaurants invite her to review them so if in the email she makes it clear this bothers her it is a bit odd they would send a server out there without giving them a heads up 🤷
