A musical theatre expert arrives to help the kids make their show spectacular, he even knows a Broadway performing turkey that can step in for Kyle's lackluster turkey.
"Helen Keller! The Musical" S04
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INT. THEATER - DAY
The kids are on the stage, with new pilgrim and Indian
costumes laying around. Cartman is standing next to a forty
year old man who looks shockingly similar to Jean Val Jean of
Les Miserables.
CARTMAN
Guys, I want you all to meet Geoffrey
Maynard. He's South Park's BIGGEST expert
on musical theater AND He played the lead
in Les Miserables at the Denver Community
Playhouse for FIVE WEEKS!
KIDS
Wow/cool/neat!!/etc.
WENDY
Do you think we can make up a good
Thanksgiving play in four days?
GEOFFREY MAYNARD
I would swear it on my life. Your play
shall want for nothing.
KIDS
Hooray!!!
GEOFFREY MAYNARD
Now, the first thing any good musical
needs is a BIG OPENING NUMBER! Something
that sets up the entire show.
CARTMAN
Alright! Places everybody!!! Bring in the
Turkey!!!
Gobbles slinks in, dragging his head along the ground. Timmy
and Kyle walk in behind him.
The kids all just stare at Gobbles.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
What the hell is that?
KYLE
It's a Turkey.
Cartman stares at the retarded turkey.
KYLE (CONT'D)
(after a long beat)
His name is Gobbles.
TIMMY
GOBBLES!!!!!
GOBBLES
AROOOOOOO!!!!
CARTMAN
And where, pray, is our beautiful, trick
performing turkey?
KYLE
Um, we... sort of spent all the money on
THIS... one.
TIMMY
GOBBLES!!!!!
GOBBLES
AROOOOOOOO!!!!!
CARTMAN
Kyle, can I talk to you over here for a
second?
Kyle looks around then follows Cartman.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
Kyle, why do you do these things to me?
KYLE
I didn't do anything to you! Timmy saw
the turkey and wanted to get it. What did
you want me to say to him?!
CARTMAN
You say 'NO, TIMMY - You can't have that
turkey, bad Timmy!!'
KYLE
Look, I know the it isn't exactly what we
wanted, but maybe we can train it.
Timmy peeks his head around trying to listen in.
CLYDE
He's not gonna work, Kyle. The whole
point is to make our play better than the
kindergartners!
Tolkien
Yeah, that turkey sucks.
Timmy sadly picks up Gobbles.
GEOFFREY MAYNARD
Wait... What's that you say? A
Thanksgiving Turkey is all you require? I
know of a Turkey.
STAN
You do?!
GEOFFREY MAYNARD
During my years on Broadway, I worked
with a turkey that could do all kinds of
tricks, she even jumped through a hoop of
fire.
CARTMAN
Cool! Can you get it for us?!
GEOFFREY MAYNARD
I will go promptly and call her trainer.
On the morrow you shall have your trick
performing Turkey.
KIDS
ALRIGHT!!!
Timmy sadly wheels off stage with Gobbles.
TIMMY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. TIMMY'S HOUSE - TIMMY'S ROOM
Timmy is sitting on his bedroom floor. His wheelchair is
visible behind him. Gobbles is sitting in front of Timmy.
Timmy has a small hoop in his hand which he holds out to one
side.
TIMMY
GOBBLES!!!
Gobbles looks at the hoop, and then at Timmy. Timmy holds the
hoop closer to Gobbles.
TIMMY (CONT'D)
Gobbles!!!!!
Gobbles walks towards the hoop and tries to crawl through. He
gets stuck halfway and just sits there like a slug.
Timmy waits a second and then tries to pull the hoop back,
forcing gobbles through-
TIMMY (CONT'D)
Ergh... ergh...
Finally Timmy manages to get the hoop past Gobbles body and
Gobbles goes through the other side.
TIMMY (CONT'D)
HAHA!! GOBBLES!!!
Now Timmy takes out a lighter and lights the hoop on fire. He
holds it out again.
TIMMY (CONT'D)
Gobbles!!
Gobbles stares at the hoop with deep concern, and then looks
back at Timmy.
TIMMY (CONT'D)
GOBBLES!!!
Gobbles takes a crap on the floor.
19 ноя 2020
