As a babysitter, I think it gets so much harder if a parent stays in the house (I totally think it's great to do for the first 1-2 times, but after that it really gets so much harder for the parent, the babysitter and the kids). I sitted for a family where the mom stayed at home mostly and just leaves for short periods like grocery shopping or a walk and the kids only really start listening to me when she is not around. Which I understand, because they are used to listening to their mom first, but it makes it hard for her because she gets the feeling that the kids don't listen to me (they totally do, once she's gone) and she wants to leave even less. So as a tip for parents: Leave or just make the kids think that you left (maybe you have an office or a room where the kids don't go) or just be at least not available for the kids (don't come out when they fight or when they cry or when they are looking for something). A babysitter can totally figure these things out if you let them.
I 100% agree with this, kids do not act at all the same when mom is there and it makes me so uncomfortable because it looks like I am a horrible sitter
Ha, this was me in my first babysitting job when I was a teenager. Kid's dad just locked himself in their home office. Kid knew exactly where dad was and spent the entire 2 hours I was there crying hysterically and trying to get to the door (he was around 18 months at the time). Twice a week. For weeks on end. Nightmare.
Nanny for20 years. The worse thing a parent can do is drag out the goodbye. Especially if child is Upset. A child may be screaming hysterically if it is going through separation anxiety, but usually in a few minutes a caregiver can get them calmed down, if parent is out of sight. It is normal for littles to have separation anxiety at different ages. Nanny cams are great! You can see if your child's caregiver is loving and soothing. Always do references, and if you can do a background check.
This is the exact video I needed right now. I’m finding the thought of leaving my baby with anyone other than my husband so stressful. And unfortunately, we don’t have family in our state to help out. Thank you so much for your amazing content! This is so so helpful.
It’s always good to remember that the babysitter could also have the same nerves as you the first time around because they want to impress you and make you feel safe and happy in this adventure. So, hundreds of texts and being crazy or stressed (while they do understand that) is bad. It is best to keep a level head so the sitter doesn’t feel like they are doing something wrong either.
I hope you feel better soon Jess! My daughter started school this year and it was SO emotional for me. For the first couple weeks I would drop her off and then lose it when I drove away! Such a hard transition! So strange to have others in charge of your child's care all of a sudden. I wanted to drive by just to see if I could see her lol...I didn't, but I wanted too! I also wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see how she was doing. It's crazy how much we love our kiddos!
As a career nanny, I love all these tips! Please write up a contract for your nanny. This is not necessary for occasional babysitting but weekly nanny for sure! I recommend having a trial period for the nanny before hiring. Interviews are very important! Also, kids crying when parents leave is completely normal. It will get better and kids stop crying faster than you’d believe. The sooner you leave, the better. Feel free to reply to this comment with any questions.
I needed this video !! My maternity leave is almost over and my lo has to go to day care as my husband and myself both have to work. I'm so sad and worried about this next phase ! I was sure we will adapt when it gets here but this helped alot.
Im so glad it helped! I always feel anxious before changes like that! In my experience everyone adapts more easily than i think they will! So much love to you 💛
Hi Jess! I suffered from chronic UTI's turned kidney infections for years and then a girlfriend told me about a supplement called D-Mannose (Get the powdered NOW version on Amazon) and I haven't had a UTI since. It works SO much better than cranberry (which doctors always recommend). I take a spoonful mixed in a little bit of water post sex or if I feel a UTI coming on and it always nips it in the bud. I have no affiliation with the supplement, lol, I just have to tell anyone who suffers from UTI's because it has saved me from a lot of pain and tons of money in ER visits. Hope you feel better soon, Mama!
Thank you for this !! I haven’t been apart from my 8 month old in…well 8 months ! Soooo nervous for the day someone else watches him that isn’t his dad - so thank you for the tips & sharing your experience 💟
@@sarahtara5546 totally relate! 🤍 Whether we feel like we need to do it all ourselves or anxiety around anyone else but us watching our little ones - I think it’s just so so normal for moms to have trouble asking for help! I wish I had leaned more on family in those newborn days, but it’s all a learning experience and we all need to go at our own pace 🌼
I have just been agonizing over the decision to go back to work for the last 24 hours. I have to make a decision about a job offer I received (a dream job), but I have a two month old and I can’t stand the thought of leaving him. This video popped up at the perfect time.
Thank you Jessica! You posted this at the most perfect time! I’m putting my 18 month old in a small in-home daycare on Monday! I am excited but nervous and your tips helped a ton!
Hi Jess, thank you so much for this! It gives me so much more peace about getting childcare for my daughter. I am wondering if you have a list already or can you write out the list of questions or talking points we should ask or discuss with the nanny or childcare center?
I am somebody who babysits and it is always so much easier if the parents at least pretend to be okay with leaving their little one (I always advise "one good hug and kiss and then leave and don't turn around" 💗 I know its hard especially if its the first time!) and I always have an interview before 👍 I want that for my expectations as well and see how the kids act😌 BTW any tips on how I can find new families to babysit for as I just moved to a new city? :/
There are so many online portals, I think in the US its care com mainly? Other than that, doesn't hurt to put a small ad up in some daycares/kindergartens or playgrounds maybe? Just ask for permission first :D
Hi! I think this was very helpful and also very insensitive. Calling moms specifically “crazy” because they’re feeling intense emotions when leaving their child with someone is very hurtful. I struggle with feelings of abandonment because of my own childhood trauma, so leaving my daughter is intensely triggering to me. I won’t assume other mom’s or parent’s reasons for also feeling those feelings, but calling them crazy is really insensitive. Please stop calling moms crazy for having big feelings too.
I actually said that leaving our kids can bring out the “inner crazy in us” .. crazy because i feel crazy with enormous emotions when leaving my children with other people. I definitely wasn’t calling someone else names & I too experienced traumatic events as a young person so i would never want to make someone else feel bad for their hesitation over leaving their children with someone. I’m sorry you understood the video to mean that. I rewatched the video after reading your comment and think it was a misunderstanding. I’ll be aware of that going forward. I regularly say in all of my content that “if parenting is hard you are not crazy and you are not doing it wrong, it’s just hard because it’s a hard job” so that’s my actual belief. Best of luck to your family as you navigate the big feelings of parenthood.
This was SO helpful as we are in the middle of finding a caretaker for our one-year-old at this very moment! Thanks for your insight!! For those with a nanny/caretaker, do you find it helpful to do full days with them or are partial days still helpful and productive?
"New Episode Idea on your channel on RU-vid" Can you talk about people who are lonely and don't have the power to connect with another person at this time? (they would like a human connection of friends) - How do we connect with people of new relationships to have friends? These days in person & or online.
Join very good mothers club. We are all about that. We offer connection for those of us who feel like we aren’t our best. It’s amazing . verygoodmothersclub.com/
