I was an “unplanned” child and my mother and father convinced me there was something wrong with me. I’ve come to realize that they needed me to be “wrong” because it justified their unwantedness of me.
I hated all the drama and meanness in high school/middle school. Your videos might've saved me from a lot of self harm. Exactly right, my true self never got to breathe, people wanted to kill it.
Very few question the need for institutions like that, but when you think about it, did our ancestors living in nature spend time with people they didn't get along with? A school is basically a room where you are trapped with people you would otherwise rarely or never interact with. We must have created some sort of Hell on Earth for children.
I think that some parents have children for their own gratification. When that does not happen, they turn against the child, albeit subvertly. And thus ruin that child's self identity for life.
Unfortunately you have to get creative to heal. Maybe some day we'll live in more compassionate world where help is more available, but that is not this world.
My father used to say to me on a regular basis when I was growing up-"there's something wrong with your head". So I became a rebel, too. Because deep down inside, I knew I was just fine. I was born into the wrong family.
As a teen, when I was called a weirdo, I believed it, because I felt like it. They said I was like an alien, and it fucking hurt but I agreed, because I didn't fit anywhere, I felt like I had been born in the wrong world, angsty as it sounds nobody understood or cared about what I cared about, and they didn't like me. It was mutual. After I left the toxic highschool environment and started making genuinely respectful, kind adult friends/acquaintances, things got better. They also told me I was weird, but they liked and respected me, they showed it with their actions. Their acceptance helped me a lot but most importantly, in the end I accepted myself, I am who I am and as I am, and as long as I don't hurt anyone I'm allowed to be as I wish. I'm here now, so here is where I belong, nowhere else. In the end, I embraced it. While I agree that self acceptance isn't just important, but absolutely fundamental, I believe it's dangerous to think that it is the only thing people with severe mental conditions need. Such a perspective could be effective for psychogenic cases but not those of organic origin, if they can even be told apart from each other. If they have an actual brain alteration that impedes them from functioning normally no matter what, not admitting to that won't help the person and might instead harm them. Then again I'm not a psychiatrist or anything of the sort.
Yeah, I'm a weirdo too. I am a law abiding citizen, not a criminal. I haven't committed any of the so-called "offenses". But I just don't think I fit in with society. My thoughts are different, my values and my habits are different than those of the general public. I also feel like I've been born in the wrong world. For example, I think that I could fit in with Ming Dynasty China quite fine, or perhaps some anime world like Re:Zero. But not here. People have always bullied me for who I am. I have lived as a hikikimori for like 10 years now. Eventually I think that I will live in a cabin the woods, and grow my own vegetables. I am just misunderstood, and the people are not very interesting for me.
I used to feel the same way but then i found Christ and realized I am a child of God and I'm not supposed to feel home here. I now know exactly who I am and this is not my home.
This video resonates with me. I used to think there was something deeply wrong with me, but as I grew older, I realized that it's not me, the world is a twisted place and the social conditioning (brainwashing?) didn't work on me. I'm a deep and critical thinker. I question everything. I wouldn't trade it for the slave hivemind that just coasts through life and people who live fake lives pretending to be someone they're not to be accepted by society. I don't care if I'm not accepted by society. I'm happy the way I am.
I've been diagnosed with acute polymorphic psychosis. I was abused and neglected as a child (I rebelled), raped, left to raise 2 daughters on my own, I experienced 10 years of antisocial behaviour and also went through 2 emotionally, physically and mentally abusive relationships... They don't care
Ty. Beautifully worded. I had trauma. Medicated at 13. Became bipolar. Ha! I was on 7 psyche meds and slipping into skitzophrenia. I used psychedelics ( microdosing ) and came off all meds, and healed my trauma, which was the only thing wrong with me besides the medically induced psychosis and mental illness. Going on 9 months med free. It healed my trauma. I'm 49 and I'm not BIPOLAR
My mom called me Feya (ugly). My dad called me fat, lazy, useless, ugly, . What I learned was that they felt that way about themselves. And needed me not to be better than them. It really pissed them off when I became a beautiful, tremendous success. My dad is dead now, but my mom still tries to step on my head in an effort to make me smaller. Pathetic.
Feya in my native language means "fairy " ; thought it could add a different perspective. I am very happy you did not allow them to step on you and blossomed into your truest, best self
My Dad has always said there is something wrong with me. I went to see a psychiatrist she said there is nothing wrong with me. There is something wrong with the person telling me there is. Loved it. My Dad kept telling me this. The look on his face when I told him I went to see a psychiatrist so far he hasn't said it again.
when i was young i thought i was the one that needed to change, that i was doing something wrong, that i needed to be better... the more i started to feel confident, exercise was a huge boost, i started to understand i was fine, my environment was awful... and now I'm on the process of leaving this environment. next year, for good or bad I'm leaving my parents house... didn't finish my degree but i can't take it any longer.
Yes. I still do somewhat. Although im starting to feel less and less guilty and ashamed to be so flawed. This society's hella crazy and they don't even see it.
@@goncalocartaxana As someone who has done this, it's worth it, but getting your parents to leave your head will be harder. That's the stage I'm at now.
After about 40 years of using and abusing alcohol I wanted to stop but struggled as to how to do that. I got inspiration from an unlikely source: John Fluevog the amazing Canadian shoe designer in a radio interview. He was asked about advice he'd give people who were struggling. Part of what he said was "you've not been made incorrectly, you've been made correctly. No mistake has been made. You are as you should be." Those few words helped change my life. I've been alcohol free for 3 and a half years now. Thank you for this video.
My mum always treated me like I was a horrible person and tell me I wouldn't amount to anything. She also used to hit me and tell me that I was wrong and 'sick in the head'. All this I believed and internalised, and I've had alot of hardships and mental health struggles all my life because of this. Funny thing is I always wanted to study Psychology
@@antinatalist9995 Thank you for your comment and seeing you in me. I hope that we can both heal from our wounds. May we realise that we are a wonderful people who deserve to feel safe, loved and protected, and be treated with respect x
I'm so sorry you were at the mercy of your mother who externalised her self-hatred on to you. No one deserves such treatment, I am sorry for your pain. Please love yourself now, you are deserving of all the good in the world. Both my parents were horribly abusive, I relate to the devastation it leaves one with. Still healing after 25 years in therapy. A loving commune, with safe and loving people is the best place for us to heal, but oh were to find such a loving community.
@@charlenevano 'externalising self-hatred'; so that's what they're doing- makes total sense. It's not occured to me that these parents hate themselves; I had wrongly assumed that they hated everyone else as they didn't consider others good enough for them. What makes them hate themselves to such a large degree that they become super nasty towards others?
Daniel, you're like a breath of fresh air in my RU-vid feed. I don't feel like watching anything else after spending some time with you because nothing else comes so near to truth and authenticity. There's a countless number of seemingly good channels about self-help but they all seem to sell something, literally or figuratively. But I haven't found anyone else sharing their story, thoughts, reflections, doubts, ideas with such sincerity, openness and wisdom as you.
Most of the psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists and clergy do more harm. Their way of thinking is exactly like those who harmed you, so it's like going back to the butchers to get more butchering. Half the time, they create more harm.
I would also suggest Ry@n Cr0pper. He gets into the metaphysical side more but the overall level of quality of experience-based insight is equal. Much love.
As a person who is a good looking young woman, I have noticed a lot less people will tell me im screwed up. Instead they fawn over me. I think a lot of it has to do with privilege of beauty and beauty standards. People think they can treat you like trash if you don't look good. that is what I have noticed
Also, some degree of "force of personality." A quiet person will get it bad..... but a grouchy quiet person who is able to communicate that they will react with some kind of force--even violence--will be left alone... and sometimes even granted respect. Also, many times stupid or destructive behavior is also just accepted if that person displays that "force of personality."
I do understand; i am happy for you 🌞. Yet, there are also people who are treated like trash because of that, because people are jealous (starting with the first female in their life for example) or outsiders think you are being privileged because of that while it can be the total opposite, as if you have chosen to be born looking like a certain way and should be punished for that, and you get already plenty of positive attention (well, if all think like that, than you end up never seeing that kind of beautiness (beauty of heart) in others, believe me, someone else can experience the opposite and you think you are just being privileged because of that; there are plenty of other subconscious reasons that could explain that they respect you for example because your mother did respect you and your looks). Like, well, you must have an easy life, some will think (well, I think and you think, but what we think of what others are thinking are just assumptions too :P LoL), you must be privileged, but it is just a prejudice we, people, make all the time; if you have a kind of experience, i understand you think we all experience the same (we think other people think this or that... we conclude that based on our own experiences), but it's our earliest experiences that create what we will later on experience till we succeed in healing that wound; probably you had not that experience as a child, and that's why you will not attract it as an adult that people treat you like trash and you think; well, i have got the looks, that must be my secret 'weapon' ;-)... but it is possible that what you find a privilege can feel like a curse, if you are treated like trash from the day you were born... We all have our own challenges, it's just not one of your lessons this lifetime to have to deal with it; people always find reasons to treat you like trash, if you have been treated like trash as a little child... u are in for repetition till u/we all have learned to rise above that, and start treating oneself like treasures and beautykings & queens, starting from the inside, but we all can radiate that beauty inside-out😉💝
This is true. People (both men and women) tend to like and think more positively about people who are attractive. I used to be attractive when I was younger, and people treated me way better even though I’m still the same person.
I understand and I think your point is valid, but that's not always the case. I am beautiful enough for people not to tell me I am ugly, I am intelligent and accomplished enough for people not to ever tell me I am stupid when I mess up, I have a big enough attitude for people not to feel like they can ever get something from me by fawning, did that stop people from bullying me in my adult life ? No. If they will think you are a worthy enough target they will find something to mistreat you with and they will find your weak spot . For me it was the ceaseless sexual harassment every hour of the day , it was reducing me to a worthless sex object and disregarding every other part of me and doing that in really inappropriate environments , like at uni or at work . They really felt my biggest trigger was being reduced to a sex object, a beautiful woman cannot ever be allowed to be also intelligent and they made sure I was aware that's what I deserved to be in their eyes.
I'm the only one telling myself there's something wrong with me. Because I know I'm not okay and I did deep introspection. I admit I'm my biggest hater, however, I'm really self-conscious. Ironically, people who tend to say there's nothing wrong with me, they hurt me the most. PLEASE, don't tell someone there's nothing wrong with them if that's not what you really think because you're gonna hurt them unconsciously and you're gonna confuse them thinking you're supporting them. Nah, you're not supporting them.
I get that. When people say we aren’t the thing we believe we are, they think they’re helping but they’re actually dismissing how we feel. Which feels like shit when one of our deepest needs is to be heard and understood, to have our basic life experiences acknowledged and validated. That’s what facilitates real connection with others. On top of all of that it affects our need and desire to have our thoughts aligned with reality - to not think we’re crazy basically. It took me 31 years to finally have the realization that there was nothing wrong with me. I had long ago learned how to have self compassion, I’ve learned why I am the way that I am. But I always just accepted it as a fact, as a given that I was inherently broken in some way. It took me trying to help my brother out with his problems (which are similar to mine) to realize I wasn’t actually thinking of myself the same way I thought of everyone else, even though I always tried to. I had already truly believed that we are all always doing the best that we can, and I believed I did my best too, and yet the belief that I was fundamentally broken in some way was still deeply engrained in me, and all I had been doing was piling up explanations and reasons to explain the “wrongness”, instead of actually examining that belief. So now I just gotta keep reminding myself that everything I’ve ever done and every thought I’ve ever had was only natural. It was the correct thing for me to do given where I was at that point in time. It was okay. I wasn’t magically healed in some way, but eventually the neurons that wire together for this new thought and belief (once you’re able to believe it) will strengthen as the old ones weaken. And it’ll make a difference.
I can relate this feeling to my own experience. I'm not sure if this applies to your situation, but here is something that helped me understand it from a different perspective: At some point in our life we have turned the "There is something wrong with you" from a toxic or narcissistic individual into an "I" statement ("There is something wrong with me"). The insidious thing: They don't have to explicitly state this, but they can send this message through neglect, negative actions, demeaning glances etc. So it's really hard to trace back this negative message to the original abuser and now it REALLY feels like we hate ourselves. If this doesn't apply to your situtation, ignore this comment :) I just felt like commenting, because I'm also very introspective and it took me a long time to figure this one out.
i think i might be in that situation of people wanting to kill my true self. a lot of "friends" i have poke fun at me and make rude comments because of my bubbly personality and interests that i am very passionate about, even though there's nothing wrong with them. they just don't like them for whatever reason and want to put me down for it.
Dude, you sure you're not me? I felt the same way as a kid/teenager; like I didn't belong anywhere or with anyone, been constantly rejected and bullied by my peers and my parents(my dad, specifically) and teachers thought I was weird and inadequate. So yeah... I grew up to be a loner now and I think this is who I was actually meant to be. I'm my best company, with my kitties beside me. I'm much happier this way.
I totally see the point being made here. I sought psychiatric help and came to realize that medication helps with my intense difficulty and struggle with sleep, but I suspect that as I journey deeper, it'll really be the last thing it helps with. Therapy, on the other hand, has been generally fun and nice. It feels good when I see progress being made.
Hello Daniel! Thank you for your expression: "Healing is hell". The way you described the healing process is exactly how it was for me at the end of last year/ beginning of this year. I would also call it an "enlightening experience". I followed the clues and at the end the unconscious was conscious and I felt like I was on the flipside of reality. Everything was the same, but my perception of the world was completely different.. I knew that I needed to change my life drastically in order to transform myself and I felt like I had died because my "old self" was no longer there. It was extremely brutal. I hardly knew anyone who has gone through this kind of process which made it even scarier as I felt completely alone in this world. I thought I would die. At the beginning, I wished to be my old "me" again and to start my life all over again. But I also started to see the beauty of everything, nature and all living things, humans included. I was capable of experiencing beauty and that gave me hope. Yet, it was hard to believe that I could actually be that strong of a person that I knew, on an intellectual level, I could be and should be if I wanted to really live. So even though healing was actually hell, if I haven't gone through it all, I still would be trapped and I still would be unfree. I know now what it means to grow up, seeing myself and my environment clearly, standing up for myself, breaking free. I'm still looking for ways to slowly groove into myself and I'm still struggling with the world, I still feel societal pressure from time to time, but now I can control it better and really focus on myself. I don't feel as dreadful as I've felt a few months ago and I have a vision of myself and the world and a way going forward, which I haven't had before. Working on myself, healing, becoming healthy and strong, taking little steps, is something I'm looking forward to now. Thank you for your videos and documentaries! :) They help a lot. Even though the connection via internet is not the same as IRL connections at all, I'm glad this opportunity exists. I hope you know that you are good the way you are and that you are changing the world. You have already changed the world and I hope you know you are not alone. Nadine
Especially when one numbs the pain. I took a shot of kratom and thought I was gonna die that was the anxiety kicking in and my heart beating slowly. Today I picked myself up and showed up to an interview and did the next best thing. Got through the interview and went back home. Been a hermit sense my break up and have gone out a couple of times but I’m doing a little better. Just feels like I’m on a roller coaster at times a lot of ups and downs. I wish I had no emotions it’s easier that way but I do. It’s definitely an enlightening experience that’s for sure.
When you say that the world was completely different that’s how I saw it 4 months ago when I dated a very religious man I saw the world as all bad and started to judge everyone. I’m no longer religious and decided to be agnostic. The world is not a bad place yes shitty things happen but depending on where one lives is it really that bad at the end of the day? No people are just traumatized I get it. But people are looked at as scary like we should stay away from them that’s how my dad sees the world to so when I was with e member of the church I saw a lot of my dad in this guy. 🤔 hm interesting because my ex of 5 years is not like this at all. Very interesting.
I’m in this process right now. Broken open all of me and changing rapidly. I almost don’t even remember what it’s like to people please? I dunno, it’s no longer my go to. So my question is, are you a completely different person after? I feel like I don’t even understand who I used to be. It’s really freaking weird and kinda scary. Maybe there was just so much change so quickly, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just so fragmented right now that it will be different once I reintegrate?
Be yourself, don't put fake mask on your face. Do self improvement and remember that you are right in being authentic. That's how you attract right people into your life.
@@eagleeyemind4800 Wonderful advice for the bold, brave and golden willing to embrace their authentic, imperfect selves Vulnerability is for champions 🏆
Since the begining i was "the weird kid",and as a teen,this only has gotten way more far,i kind of hate school,but apecially the people in there,sometimes they are so... mean for no reason,and,as someome who still never fell in love,i wondered if there qas somwthing qrong with me,gosh,it hurta to feel alone,in a way uou just dont feel like anywone can hear you,i want to escape from here but...how?I really just want a retire from this bullshit
I think some of the more minor mental illnesses or mental disabilities (not all, but SOME) are relative to society or the environment that the person was born into. It's like, does the person really have a problem, or is society the problem? Maybe a person is perfectly fine, but it doesn't seem that way because they were born into a society that isn't structured to fit their needs. If such a person were to move to a society that did fit their needs, would they still be considered "disabled?" (or weird, or "having something wrong with them," or whatever the label is.) It's like that episode of the Twilight Zone episode where the woman was getting plastic surgery to look like a pig because that was normal in her society. If you want to translate this concept to physical disabilities, two good examples would be dwarfism, and deafness. If a dwarf is in a house where everything is perfectly modified to fit them, are they still disabled in that environment? What if there was an entire town where all the residents are dwarfs and every home and business was built to fit them? Would average sized people be considered disabled there? Same thing if there was a town where everyone was deaf from birth. They'd all use sign language and live their lives just fine. Now imagine a hypothetical "normal" kid being raised in either of those towns and for whatever hypothetical reason, they weren't exposed to the media, so they think that it's normal for everyone else to be deaf or have short limbs. They'd think they had a disorder. I think this same kind of phenomena happens with some people sometimes when they think there's something wrong with them. Perhaps a good person who has been surrounded by narcissist their whole life, maybe?
@@SimoneBattaglia94 I don't think schizophrenia is an arbitrary label, that's relative to a person's environment. That is actually a brain disease that requires medication.
@@Melissa0774 I accept your position (which is shared even by many people in the mental health field) but I disagree. I can safely say that everything we experience (our psyche) is deeply connected to our brain and body chemical and physiological responses. I strongly believe that chronic adverse experiences (real or perceived) in schizophrenia are intimately correlated to chronic physiological abnormalities in the brain. I suppose difficulties in separating the self from objects in the very first childhood and an extremely unattached, confusing and abusive response from caregivers (such as double binds) can be some reasonable causes. Also very early and unescapable social stigma and withdrawal contribute drastically. Of course I think that anatomy and genetics can be a factor, but in my opinion it's a much less important factor.
At work we have a cook and her daughter works on the floor. Her mother I can see immediately she is a manipulator and abuser. The daughter submissive to her. But without her on the shift her daughter is free and works so well too. And the mother always say something about her daughter not right in the head. Her daughter was fine. Its her mother who had issues. An abuser to boot
The fact that the Bible tells us human beans r all intrinsically evil, plays it’s part with sublime yet devastating effect, my experience, or at least interpretation
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_10:36 mentions Robert Witham, who ( in Annotations on the New Testament of Jesus Christ) thought this alluded to our own passions of love, hatred, anger, envy, etc.
I've been diagnosed with so many things. Then I tried jungian psychoanalysis. I was not satisfied with what all other therapists were trying to tell me. The first thing the psychoanalyst asked me to do, was to forget about all those labels others were trying to place on me. I was lost at first. Thrn he asked me why i dont want to discover who I really am?! 😊
"... DSM diagnoses are circular and tautological, defining depression as a cluster of symptoms that in turn define depression. They take the complexity of human beings out of the analysis and create deep mystification in all of us as we think about ourselves and others. The concept of antidepressants is at its core complex and varied, and the restriction in thinking primarily about drug interventions serves the pharmaceutical industry and the officials who are in charge of the self-interested fabrication of depression as disease... Most depressive episodes come to an end without psychiatrists and without therapy. Some depressions begin with psychiatrists and psychotherapists." -Phil Wolfson "The Ketamine Papers"
Well said, Daniel. Imho, it really is all about the environment, as Erich Fromm taught; if we surround ourselves with people who treat us with loving-kindness, non-judgmentally and respect our boundaries and live in equity and symbiotically with nature, I believe we can all but eliminate most of the behaviors that constitute what are called mental illness.
Healing is hell. But having my core identity mitigates that suffering. I always thought this planet should be a place where I was born to have a birthright to have basic human rights. To suffer occasionally sure, but to suffer for almost six decades because of my parental upbringing and trauma, and the perpetual escalation of narcissism and psychopathy, this world is really a terrible place. This world is built for people to suffer. And if you should find happiness, you should always expect that there will be something or someone ready to snatch it. There's something gravely wrong with this planet Earth.
Be the best version of yourself that you can be, as peacefully and respectfully as you can. Don't change yourself, be true to you and be your genuine self.
Daniel, I’ve been thinking a lot recently on the topic of: Is Escapism healthy? And to what extent is it healthy before escapism becomes dissociation/numbing yourself to your problems so that you don’t have to face them? I would love to hear your thoughts on this if you haven’t addressed the topic already!
I think you are on a wrong foot here, Sir. How can we have a good self, an essentially good self when so many things are flawed in our behaviour? I think it's a trick that we play on ourselves to believe that we are inherently good, so that we have an imagined spot of sanity as an identity in the sea of insanity that we are. I feel this is why it is essential for those who are in Therapy or other related fields to study eastern philosophers like Ramana Maharshi, J Krishnamurti and Nisargadatta Maharaj, so that they can understand that the human thought, human self is itself the fundamental problem causing suffering.
my laugh is too loud 😆 my nose is too big i am too skinny i am too sexual i spend too much of my own money i dress too casual i take too many risks blah blah blah blah blah waaaa waaaaa
My mother always said to me, "There's something the matter with your head!" What a horrible, demeaning thing to say to a child but children internalize it and become wounded. As an adult I came to realize she was a narcissist and possibly a sociopath, who also told me she was going to destroy me when I was four years old, likely because I was the only one of her six children who didn't develop into a narcissist. So who had something the matter with her head? She did. Yet I still hear her voice in my head saying those words. It hurt and shamed me on such a deep level.
It was a projection. My mum was the same also a narc. She knew she werent right mentally. She would tell people in our congregation my daughters arent right in the head till one day a mum with 2 mentally ill grown up sons said "Erm I know mental illness when I see it and there is nothing wrong with ypur beautiful lovely daughters" That shut my mum up.
I AM is powerful. Lots of DSM diagnoses, all finding "dysfunction" in the individual. Maybe many individuals are simply adapting naturally to a system that's flawed at its core values. 🤷♂️
I feel like there's something wrong with me, like something is missing. Intellectually I know there isn't anything wrong with me, and I know where this feeling probably comes from, but that doesn't make the feeling go away. I need a lot of therapy, working towards being able to afford it eventually.
I used to have a meditation teacher that always said "If your psychologist/psychiatrist is not Jesus/Buddha don't waste your money. All they will do, is changing your beliefs with theirs." Of course is your choice at the end of the day. In the mean time I suggest meditation, reading self help books, practicing qi gong, tai chi or reiki, affirmations, journaling, exercising, in your case EFT (emotional freedom technique) might be very helpful too, many videos on yt.
I think the "labels" are a spectrum, but they help to put a name to it, to make it fit in this world where it is looked bad at, with or without a label, but the label helps it. Sometimes med help, sometimes they don't, the science it's very experimental and incomplete sadly. The mind is just too complex.
As always, about balance. Don’t give too much weight to others’ opinions but take an objective look at things if you keep getting the same message so to speak. But for the most part ignore negative assessments by others because if people want to help they will frame it constructively.
Its very hard to not think something is fundamentally wrong me when most people throughout my whole life react to me as if i am. Im not sure exactly what it is, but something is there (or not there)
In my early years I was never popular. When I was 25 someone told me that there was something about me, that I gave off bad vibes. I still don't understand what that meant to this day.
But isn't something "wrong" about narcissists or psychopaths? If I get "off" vibes from some people or how they treated me, I do think there is something wrong with them. Even if they turned out to be like that because of their upbringing, I don't have to empathise with these people or have them around my life costing me my own mental health.
@@C_Kava yes and it would be so weird to just tell them "you are fine, there is nothing wrong about you! Just be who you are" when they have emotonally used you and gaslighted you and cheated you.
I agree, you have to protect yourself from this kind of people, but I don't think, that Daniel is including narcissists and toxic people in this case. Cause these kind of people would never consider, that sth is wrong with them.
I think that such psychological disturbance would be a result of buying the lie that something is wrong with oneself at an early age. Underlying these pathologies (that to me are coping mechanisms just like any "mental illness") is a human soul that as Daniel points out is capable of being healthy if one is willing to suffer into the trauma of deceit
This video is *powerful.* This is my favorite video ever of yours, what a profound and important message. I will save this to listen again and again as it has helped me so much. You have amazing wisdom to share, Daniel. Thank you!
I just found your channel today. And I feel that the information you are giving us, is a good start to understanding myself. I struggled quite a bit when I was growing up, feeling mad, sad, and very angry at times. I think my father was the main reason because he was not supportive of me. And he gave me a very low self esteem problem for many years afterwards. And only now as a retired adult am I starting to find my true self, and some sort of happiness. I don't have the self esteem problem anymore, and am always trying to improve myself, and help others, by helping them, the way I would have liked to have been helped when I was younger.
I don’t know if it’s just my schizophrenia but I do believe that this video was supposed to be recommended to me because I’m seriously going through it right now. I really appreciate you making this video and your empathy.
Man the god damn things I find exactly when I need them drive me crazy. In times of need I truly become a man of faith. The algorithm across insta, YT, tiktok all knowing about my very recent break up are very strange though.
It was so hard for me to accept that I am just a normal person this whole time, all the rejection, the judgment, the bullying in childhood made me think I was a freak, that I was special in some way that I deserved what happened to me and that I should change if I want to be accepted so I did my whole best to change to the point that I didn’t know who I was anymore. Well who I am is just what I choose to be right now whatever it is, so that’s it I guess. I am just like any other person not perfect at all and would never be and that’s absolutely fine and amazing. And if I believed that something was fundamentally wrong with me then that should apply to other people as well since I am just like them.
I’m one of the people that believed something was wrong with me. I’m not sure if it’s cause of my peers, teachers, or parents. And I’m not even sure I experienced any more criticism than most people do. But, in contrast to you, I really latched onto this idea and eventually was convinced there was truly something wrong with me and I had to figure out what. Sure, I was always shy, introverted, and sensitive in certain ways, but other than that nothing was originally wrong with me. However, I ended up developing social anxiety, panic attacks, and serious depression later in life. I also ended up being manipulated by many people, leading to trauma. And the only thing that helped me was meds. But now I’m sick of just using the bandaid of medication to “solve” my issues. It doesn’t really solve anything. I’ll keep needing more and more meds forever, because the root issue is never solved. I love your channel and I’m looking forward to doing the deep work necessary to get off this stuff and live a fulfilling life!!
He is describing the Status quo 2023 Iatric power structure of Mental Health services that really are only concerned with their own display of competence with each other to the detriment of a client who the practitioner knows will build an identity around a diagnosis...the paradigm of treatment of mental illness must change ❤😢
My mother was the same way. I try to see her as little as possible. What is also irritating is the way people shame me from avoiding her abuse. People like to pretend us guys don't have feelings.
When we are born the world decides our fate, if they so choose we are defective the world will act as we were and in turn, most of us will do as they said. Your parents use you as the scapegoat, then your mind works around it and your body starts acting differently than normal, then when in school children will pick up your weakness and use it to abuse you and the same applies to teachers. Only a handful of individuals won't do that but they are most likely to not interfere. It's sad but that's how the world works. When you are an adult you must reject the world and its ideas for you and live your life as you design it. You must come to terms with the past and let it go, forgiving others for their actions or lack of them and stop the cycle with you, meaning you won't judge others on simple impressions and love everyone the same including yourself. I learned all of this after reading the bible for long enough and is more or less what Jesus said. Not that you need to believe in God or be Christian, don't think I'm trying to convert you, just take it as sociology/psychology with extra steps.
Believe in yourselves and each other and never give up on your dreams and aspirations and remember to be kind and uplifting to each other and open minded and genuine and respectful and humble.
i can appreciate the value in this mindset, but i also wonder if it might not lead someone to believe that they are perfect or always right, and that their suffering is always the fault of others?
I didn‘t search for this video, but this video found me and I needed to hear this message. Since my teens my parents belittled me and especially my father called me „an alien“ and „that I will never be someone successful“. For him only a university degree is something worth. He thought he was motivating me because apparently that‘s what parents should say to motivate their kids! Even now in my 30s my father once asked me „if I was single because I was afraid of girls?“. Like wtf? All these words over all these years they hurt so much and still hurt and will hurt probably all my life. Thank you for this video and sharing your experience. It means a lot to hear your experiences.
'Who I am' is relative to 'who you are'. And 'who we are' is relative to 'who they are'. This is the problem with being an individual person - it's only relative to who _other people_ are as individuals. And so there's this great paradox at play. Yes, we want to become our true selves and live life authentically and to the best of our ability - but we have to somehow do that within the framework in which we currently find ourselves - in other words, that of other people. And of course, we're all basically in the same situation, and so there's inevitably going to be power struggles, tensions, disagreements, arguments and friction between people, because certain individuals are always going to try 'getting ahead' of the rest of the pack, including you! And so the question arises: Can you still become your true self and live authentically and to the best of your abilities, within the social framework in which we currently find ourselves? Or is that simply not possible?
This video is a gem! Being yourself is the greatest luxury in life, and we should take and fight for it because, well, everything else is already taken.
I just want to say that I love you! Your videos are the best thing I have ever binged on. Thank you for your courage, for your openness, for everything you do for humanity and me, specifically! I have never encountered someone who would be so full of truth, direct and smart and I have been looking everywhere, from therapists to spirituality to whatever in an attempt to get my soul back in a rational way and not spiritually bypassing. Thank you again!
Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this. I wrote down a few notes that really spoke to me: -They couldn't change me, kill my spirit. Bend me to their will. -They project onto others when they are feeling triggered, and thus approach with a dominant repressive narrative. - When being given a label, it's society saying that we 'don't fit in' to who they want us to be, and that they want to fix us so we can fit in. (I've added a little bit of my own understanding and experience below.) They do this because we don't reflect who they are, or the majority, and so this division, separation and exclusion is to confirm and validate their own insecurities which stem from their past experiences and trauma. Until they accept themselves then they will constantly look to fixing their environment, ie other people, in order to fix their own emotions. They want us to be the perfect mirror that they look into, so that they can feel safe and secure within themselves and environment. If they look into a mirror which reflects their insecurities, then they will feel vulnerable to being hurt, judged and excluded again. As a self reflection note, I feel that we see things in others, what we see in ourselves. I think bullying and feeling triggered by anothers actions relates to having an insecurity that draws from a negative past experience. We don't want to relive that experience, and so when another person reminds us of it and the trauma we went through, we instantly want to shut them down. I think when people start to accept parts of themselves, which they have been criticised for in the past, we will have a much more peaceful world. Giving yourself that self love and acceptance sure is a challenge especially when heaps of people around you, for a seriously long time, have been avoiding you and are clearly triggered by who you are. It takes some time and spending it in solitude most definitely helps. Having open eyes, head and heart. And being there, wholefully, for yourself when others seem to go against you. Here's a tip though, they're just going against themselves ;)
Hmm well as of late last year I'm officially Autistic at 38 (and ADHD with CPTSD and hEDS). Most people manipulate as standard which I find baffling. No I dont think its me, but being a minority in an invisible way makes me the problem for others every time, I don't want to and cant play their games so I lose
Part of everyone’s life is realizing the ways a change needs to be made if healing can occur. I am trying to move to Australia because I fell in love with it (and the distance from my family and known individuals) during a study abroad. The freedom to explore myself while most people I know on Earth are asleep is incredible. I felt very inadequate, angry, never fitting in in High School. When I’m across the world, stuck with just myself, healing is in reach.
These licensed or experienced "therapists" need to actually assess what happened to the patient NEVER what is wrong with the patient!! These therapists are f_&$ing shallow.
I think you and i grew up in the same environment!! If i had a dollar for everytime some one asked me growing up and beyond "What's WRONG with YOU!!" I'd be RICH!! Great vid Daniel, so relatable. Thanks so much!! 😀
I felt like something was wrong with me. I went to get evaluated and came out. I have complex PTSD, which completely makes sense from all the trauma. I went through my entire life.
Sorry to hear that, I can relate. But the wonderful conclusion is that there isn't anything wrong with you after all. Just need to tackle the trauma. Which I know isn't that simple or quick. But the fundamental takeaway is incredibly hopeful!
The time one would choose to withdraw due to critical parents and teachers and other authority figures just happen to coincide with some amazing musicians, stereo technology and headphones - enough to open one up to a new and safe world. Withdrawing wasn't half-bad!
I had a very similar experience in high school but I rebelled. I too felt like I was different than others but I learned to kindle my differences, own and even encourage them. I’ve been studying the child theories about “daisy’s”versus “orchids”. I now realize I was NOT a daisy. Daisy kids are really resilient and they can take trauma without it tormenting them like orchids do. Trauma is much more painful for us orchids. Damn good thing that most kids are daisy’s. 🤷🏼♀️
I grew up Catholic, so I believed it. The essence of Christianity is that you are flawed and terrible and only absolute obedience and blind faith can save you. God is the ultimate abusive ex
Honestly, I’ve recently started feeling out of place after a traumatic trip (3 tabs). The people who I thought were my friends would make fun of me behind my back while I was freaking out off an insane amount of acid. Talking behind my back I could hear them through the thin walls and thought that it was my demons talking to me. In a way it was. I’m glad that now I have grown, and realized that those people weren’t my friends. I still struggle with social anxiety that sometimes beats me down, even around my close family. These videos have really helped me live with those negative thoughts and consciously break the walls to become more confident in day to day life. Thank you very much for these videos. From what I read in these comments I see you help many others as well. Keep up the good work. Some concluding words; growing and learning about myself post trauma is taking time, and some days takes too much effort. I now love and embrace the struggle I constantly challenge the negative being that has been in my head for so long. Thank you yet again sir, you have been and are a big help in my journey.
I wish I knew this for my whole life. My mother always said, ‘what good are you?’ I fought her but I took it in anyway. I’ve just recently come to know that there is nothing wrong with me.
True, society school, my family and my "friends" and myself destroyed and i don't want to do anything anymore but get away from this world i jusr know that i am not made for this kind of modern and complex society i just don't like it and it makes me go crazy. I mean i understand it it is not like it is Overcharging my mind but it is judt sickening and i don't want to do this shit anymore. Or there are my "friends" who if i ever tell them about my worries or something important just immediately turn their back on me as soon as they see anybody else that they know, they don't even excuse themselves or after the othe people left where we ended they just turn away without saying anything to me and start talking about shit like video games and afterwards just act like i never said anything but it is not even like it is to much for them (at least its unlikely considering how little i actually tell them) but they just don't seem to give a fuck. Or those moments when i judt always walk next in front or behind them because they talk about stuff i don't care about and i have already talked with all kinds of people around me and they just never seem to fit or think like me.
Most of my life I have tried to fit in and compromise. To have finally reached the understanding and strength of self belief is profound. A lifetime of work. Like knowing who I was when a child. My pure talents some unable to be defined by words. Only feelings. Spent many hours reading the Seth material and one of the ideas brought through is that whatever you want to become in your next life you have to start in this one. I think about this everyday when I interact with the art I create. Finally. To acknowledge who I really am . A great artist.
I read the Seth Material as an older teen and was amazed with the concepts. I don't remember the one you mentioned but you're right, "whatever I want to become in my next life, I must start in this one." Actually, I've decided, I'm done with "physical" existences. They are too painful. I believe I condensed many lessons into this life to get it ALL done in one go. So this life has been very hard. My next life will be helping others deal from a non-physical reality. Visit them in their dreams?? :)
I am 30 with no paying job and economically depending on my "parents" , i have a graphic design master and starting my own project... all my friends believe in me and i know i am excellent on my area, i have even being recommended by friends etc but the last interview i had they told me i was over qualify for the job. In the other hand i live in a dysfunctional family based on lies, manipulation and gaslight of any kind: narcissistic mother, enabling father and flying monkey sibling. Yesterday i was told i shouldn´t "shoot so far" for a job and maybe work as a cashier ( i respect the job but is not for me ) they are economically okay and when im in good terms with them they always say they want to support my project economically and that they don't want me to leave... but when im not in so good terms like yesterday they tell me i should be a cashier and that i am violent when i am just reacting to their bs... i am really desperate, i feel trapped and just want a job tha ti can love and learn about it to leave this toxic enviroment, hugs from México
I feel that way every damn day. Been so depressed had two cups of coffee and my anxiety even got so much worse. Their is nothing wrong with you Danial just like me. I feel anxiety and depressed and sad and abandoned and angry and mean it’s awful. The little glimpse of happiness I get are far and in between
