She's not a child anymore and now she's finding that out the hard way. There are consequences for illegal behavior. I feel very sorry for the mother. She is taking responsibility for her actions or lack of action when Denita was growing up. But Denita is on her own at this point and for very good reason. No parent should be supporting a adult child while said child is using drugs and drinking her allowance away. That's called enabling.
OP, you did the right thing in getting Danita arrested. She got a slap on the wrist the first couple of times. Not now, she may get some actual jail time. She’s an adult now. You know the saying, “ Do the crime, do the time in jail. Hopefully this will make her realize that she has to grow up and act as an adult with adult responsibilities!
Our son always did poorly when we paid for his college. He'd pay for his own and his grades skyrocketed. We'd pay for it again and his grades went back in the toilet. He didn't mind wasting our money but wouldn't waste his. After that he was on his own and graduated. It took longer, but he did it.
This is why you never spoile your kids too much because it will make them think when they're adults people will bow down to them and give them whatever they want😊.
A lot of kids are wild in college, but settle down after graduation and enter the workforce. They cut back on clubbing, alcohol and weed, none of which she did. Danita's plan to have OP arrested backfired, got her kicked out of the house. Too bad her need for retaliation and her anger got her boyfriend, friends and herself arrested. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. This is not the parents' fault, they did set some limits and had expectations of behavior. OP and husband did give her a consequence (less money), The only thing that can maybe reel in a girl with a club girl mentality is a harsh dose of reality AKA jail.
The parents reaped what they sowed, BUT Danita should know better as a human at her age. Her parents did not allow the natural course of consequences early on, leading to her escalation. Her inability to deal with any responsibility for her actions started young; it didn't just pop up.
She called the copsnover a slap in the face. Yeah you will be told domestic squabble and you will be letbout. Throw her out of your house. She is a college educated adult. Not a little helpless chils
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There is no definitive handbook for raising children. If one person raises a child one way and does well, it doesn't mean another child would respond the same way. OP is basically stuck in the middle on this, with her divorcing her daughter's father, it can be difficult to be on the same page with a child. Usually there is one that spoils them (usually the visiting parent) and the one who lays down the law with them (the bad one that makes sure that they get exactly what they need moreso then what they want). In this case both parents were fighting for attention of the child which in this case backfired. Now that OP and dad have raised her, they need to give a reality check to the child. Parents even if they try and train the kids right can also lose out because of the outside environment causing influences on them to make child fall into a bad set of routines. Hopefully when her daughter gets out of detainment, she can see the error of her ways and seek forgiveness of her actions. Even if she doesn't, maybe someday a light bulb may go off in her head to show her how wrong she had been to parents.
Hopefully the woman-child joins the miltary or greenpeace after this. There are reasons why judges occasionally give people the choice of jail or service. And this seems like a good case for it. Though she and her friends are likely just going to get a big fine for the egg-assult.
Good parenting is hard parenting, we aren't supposed to be childrens friends, we're suposed to lovingly rase them in the way they should go. To lovingly 'TRAIN'!!!!!!! train them. To teach them that life is hard, and it's not fare, and how to safely and honestly cope with that hardness and unfareness. Letting your child graduate from college you pay for with a worthless degree is a kind of child abuce. Parent and child are both at falt. Parent didnt do her job, child didn't have to follow her parents poor example, and could have done a childs job, grow love and learn.
What OP finally did is called TOUGH LOVE and is exactly what OP needed to do! A 22 year old is smart enough to know how to behave especially after two run ins the law. Now time for the daughter to face the music! OP you did everything you could raising her.....forgive yourself for her misbehavior.
OPs daughter is no longer a child, regardless her actions show a entitled mentality and disregard for the law. The fact that it was her 3rd stike shows a pattern of misconduct and warrants jail time. Actions have consequences. Op and her ex are dealing thier actions for raising thier daughter. The daughter isn't a victim, she was a adult and should be held accountable 4 her actions.
First mistake was using the name Denita 🤣 OP is NTA, Denita is an adult and there are consequences for her poor entitled judgement. Tyrese was in jail because of his bad judgement. Her GF’s were arrested for their lack of judgement. Common denominator …. Yep, Denita!
At some age, pick one, each of us has to quit blaming parents, teachers, and anyone else that influenced our life up to that point. At that point, we become fully responsible for our decisions. At 22, if Denita had not decided to grow up and be responsible for her own decisions she needed some help. It’s all on Denita.
if you don't discipline your kids the police will !!! thank goodness my kids are not like this, if you love them the right way you don't have to discipline them.
I knew a lawyer who's son acted like danita. He got an apartment and mived the son in told him first months paid. You have 30 days to get a job and pay or you are out on the streets.
Maybe the police might want to get involved if some of the harassing phone calls were threats but there's no way the police would have arrested the guy in 30 minutes.
How it was raised getting everything she wanted by playing the guilty card with both parents. That turn out she got spoiled growing up by both of them. But as she turned 18 to become an adult. After college she continued to have fun with her rich friends. Not taking the responsibility getting a job in her career. She just wanted her parents to take care of her for the rest of her life. What mom did was called tough love to let her daughter go to jail as an adult for her crimes.
OP and her ex husband should be disgusted with themselves, as well as their daughter. Their daughter is the product of OP, and her ex husband's spoiling the hell out of her and not setting expectations and boundaries. She is petulant because her parents never corrected her behavior and let her get away with everything. This woman is a college graduate, and they are giving her an allowance? Seriously?! My daughter graduated with her bachelor's at 20. Before she even graduated, she had a job lined up. Yes, when she was in college, we sent her money monthly. However, that was for living expenses. She knew if she wanted "fun" money, she would have to get a part-time job, which she did.
Granted I don’t know where this is based and the channel says these can be fictional or dramatized but you can’t get arrested for slander. It’s a “tort” or civil wrong where you seek damages.
I remember being a freeloader boarder when I lived with my mother. I remember working at the local bowling alley and earning less than minimum wage. I saved enough for a down payment on a car. I went to work at the welfare office. Thank God for my mother.
Wow at the beginning I thought ok getting pissed about not getting an allowance would be typical of a teenager but a full grown adult wtf? That's insane
While I was waiting to join the Navy, I was working at the local paper mill. I survived the strike and came out better. Joining the Navy was an eye-opener for me. I survived all of that and then some. Maybe some training would help her and show her a good path to go on.!
Have 4 daughters, raised all the same,loved & cared for. The oldest, my prodigal child grew up to be the most selfish & entitled woman. Narcissistic personality, had to cut ties. Heartbreaking, but some people choose to be users, not lovers. Some of it may be parenting in some cases, but also don't forget the fact of personal choice. Sounds like this young woman is just a selfish, self-absorbed person who does not care about anyone, as long as she gets her own way. It hurts, but pain is a most effective tutor! Mom may have indulged child, but is not the A.H. Daughter is the A.H. She is an adult now, time she learned act like one. If not, no problem setting boundaries & protecting them. Well done Mom! We can't do anything about where we come from, but it is up to each individual where we go from there!
No matter where this came from it is the same the world over. People DO NOT mature till they get to about 35-40 years old now! It is so sad to see or hear of, but it happens! What can be done is a "whole different kettle of fish" as I don't know. Is it the social media influence or anything so related or is it just a new event in society? THAT is an unknown. Hmmmmm.
Being brought up a certain way does not explain her utter lack of self-awareness, that thing we all get at some point when we become functioning adults and start to take responsibility for our own actions. Having an inclination for entitlement is only half the excuse.
For someone with a philosopher degree, she sure did not know how to reflect. I think both parents needed to dicipline her more. But at the end, some ppl just choose not to take responsibility for their actions. Im just glad the mom was able to press charges. I hope she continues to press charges everytime her daughter gets entittled.
This was a problem of your own making. You gave her everything she ever wanted, especially if she threw a tantrum. I have no sympathy for your predicament. You created it.
“I cannot believe the child I raised”…”People will think Im a bad parent” These things are both correct, OP didnt bother punishing till an adult and didnt follow through with threats till far too late Doubt OP would of gone back and changed parenting style as claimed as they are still making sane mistakes
Ok let get this right you did this you can't give in all the time sometimes you have to fight the fight and not let them have what ever they want you was and her dad was lazy and you give in just cuz it was easier for you
The parents set up the daughter for a difficult life and are surprised by the inevitable actions of an adult with no self accountability. The way OP talks is entitled so no wonder the daughter learned that mindset.
Question - do parents nowadays not know/realise that”NO”is a complete sentence? Kid demands new “branded “clothes? “NO”, new “branded”shoes? “NO”, new electronics?”NO”, wads of money?”NO”, throws a tantrum? Wait they are finished, even if it takes 1,2,3 minutes/hours, “NO”. They want something “extra”?, get doing odd jobs,but “NO”. C’mon you people , let your children learn that the world doesn’t owe them anything. In fact they’re not entitled to anything extra. As for this silliness of “having to have ‘branded clothing ‘of all sorts,’cos they’ll just die without it”? NO THEY WON’T. SHEESH, enough already. Snicker at their demands and ….”NO!”.
Bottom line, I am NOT TAKING care of any GROWN CHILD of mine! How parent's allow this behavior, it is OBVIOUS, that they do NOT want their children to ever leave their childhood home(s)!
Please blame the parents not the child. She got what she deserves jail. Hope she learns something or she will be right back there again Anyone blaming the mom . What is your power to judge her . You raise the kid first then speak
I am blaming the mom and the dad they were terrible parents and enablers, knowing what she was doing and not doing what they asked and still kept giving her money and enabling her to keep doing what she was doing for so many years, and should blame no one but themselves for how things turned out
While Denita was a product of her upbringing, she is now an adult making bad choices. The problem with adult children like Denita is they will become permanent and totally disrespectful leeches. They will suck their parents dry both financially and emotionally with their ungrateful attitudes and partying ways. The best thing you can do for them is make them understand they are adults. Other than the poor upbringing OP took responsibility for, the only other mistake was to approach Denita when she was working at McDonald's. Danita was finally doing the right thing and working out her old problems while possibly ushering in new behaviors. OP made a huge mistake approaching Denita at McDonald's. Denita probably felt humiliated and that her mother had won. This caused Denita to once again rebel against OP and clearly was a contributor to the events that followed between them OP should have walked away quietly without letting Denita know she saw her at work. Self-esteem is the reputation we build with ourselves by our actions and choices. Each good choice we make further builds our self-esteem. Denita might have been feeling better about herself when she got a job and might have started making better decisions in her life because it felt good to do so, but OP just had to rub into her daughter's face that she was right. One good choice can alter our whole future life and OP just couldn't leave it alone. OP is HUGELY complicit in her adult daughter's actions both because of her upbringing and because of her inability to leave her daughter alone.
Fake, printed false statements are libel not slander and both are civil matters, no police would get involved, you get an attorney, cease and desist happen first, then you have them served. It's never criminal to be mean on social media.
When OP and her ex were 'competing' for their daughter's attention, they were creating a true monster. When her grades were failing in college, I would have cut off the allowance at that time. But when she called the police on OP bcuz she cut off her allowance...a grown ass woman with an allowance from her mommy, smh...claiming abuse, that would have been when I would have asked the police to escorted her OUT OF MY HOUSE, waiting until she packed her sh*t of course. Danita was next level in her behavior thinking she could use the police to bully her mother into continuing her allowance. OP, Danita and the ex all fafo. Danita would stay in jail, with no help from me. Where are her 'rich' friends? Why didn't one of them bail her out? Perhaps some time behind bars is what's needed. If not, oh well. Hopefully this is what is needed to make her grown up.
Halfway in, you knew this kid was used by her parents divorce much more than the mom acknowledged. That being said there also comes a point to grow up as well if youve been raised in a hostile divorce environment.
Mom and dad spoiled her when she was young and that's what kids fixate on. Then the divorce comes. She's still being treated very well in the family but the seed is growing up. The wrong way. Like my mom was. Never even knew I was applying at colleges. But guidance on a major could have been touched upon.
This is not the end. Danita is only going to learn to be more of a brat. The OP is responsible for Danita's upbringing yes, but the OP also accepts the blame for her role in how Danita turned out, and at this point Danita is responsible for her own actions, and what she's doing isn't the actions of a college educated adult, but spoiled child in a grown up body.
Defamation or criminal libel with the intent to cause emotional and mental damage, and harassment, can be used to either have the perpetrator fined, ($500- $5000) and could land 6 months to a year in jail. It's even worse if that libel leads to physical abuse and violence.
Yes she was spoiled when she was a kid but the girl's grown now and the mom admitted she had some blame for her behavior. She warned her multiple times and if calling the cops was the only way to get through to her then so be it. As parents we make mistakes and sometimes have to do the hardest things to try and put our kids on the right path.
Okay, so Tyrese has been arrested for slander? I don't know for sure that this is in the United States but I know here slander is not a crime. It is a civil matter, a tort, I believe would be the technical term
