For those of us with ADD/ADHD: 10. Metacognition Skill 3:13 (Self-awareness) 9. Focus Skill 4:18 (listening, reading and comprehending. Not skimming) 8. Planning Skill 5:30 (write it down!) 7. Self Starting Skills 6:30 (Don't wait until motivated. Chunk) 6. Maintenance Skills 7:30 (Set up and maintain organization system) 5. Study Skills 8:11 (How to take notes. how to study. Tape record, doodle, etc) 4. Maintain a study space 9:48 3. Decision making skill (How to make good decisions. Don't go with your first instinct.) 2. Accountability Skill 11:38 (Tell others your plans so they can help keep you accountable) 1. Asking for help skill 12:29 Extra Bonus Skill: Skill of service 14:44
@alarcon99 Thanks for writing out the list. Sensory processing is a problem for me and there were too many words. (It didn’t help that I had the speed at 1.5x🤣🤣🤣)
At 52 years old, I am really grateful I have come across your video. I heard over and over, be good to yourself, and I want to live a good life. I hope to be able to share this ADHD gospel now and always. Thank you!
Often our students with high IQ's struggle with EF skills and feel like they have to hide it because people don't realize these are skills that can be taught/learned to get better at.
I suspect those of us who have a natural academic aptitude struggle with executive function precisely because our aptitude causes us to receive less functional support in exchange for intellectual stimulation. Since we don't have to study as hard, we're never taught how to study and focus until we hit our individual skill ceiling.
You're so right about asking for help. Here's why I agree it's #1 - A lot of us with executive dysfunction have such low self efficacy. But we feel ashamed of that. We don't want people to know, and we feel that if we ask for help not only will they know but our success will then mean less. It won't. We waste so much time reinventing a wheel someone else has already invented and would be happy to explain to us. Or we get halfway through trying to reinvent that wheel alone, and we get frustrated and give up. Being able to accept that help and it not destroy our pride in our accomplishments really helps stop this terrible cycle that makes a lot of our executive dysfunction issues worse.
Planning broadly and flexibly for the long term and not overplanning short-term to avoid disappointment, but also have certain days for certain things, so you don't have to keep track or decide on it.. that's in line with developing habits. Recognizing behavioural triggers and modifying the environment to eliminate them has been huge.
Nice! Helping OTHERS, is the MOST fun and GRATIFYING things I do! Most often, to a fault! Then I wind up DOING for everyone else and not for myself!!! I need to learn to regulate THIS!
Great video. I believe you spoke true and honest.i also liked that you don't have that uptalk tone that you see from other videos. It makes me want to listen.
Oh my, I am teaching my kid & seeing so many things about myself! We are working on these things as we go. If only I could figure out a way to protect & teach my kid to protect her systems. I wrote most of my college notes in comic text with doodles. Others looked like chicken scratch until rewritten.
This is so helpful, thank you. My child is very creative and I like how you talked about making visual and creative notes. We will try this for his homework. I think it could be a game changer for him.
Thank you so very much for sharing, Mr. Perler! I especially appreciate your time in making and sharing this one, this is exactly what and where my 16 years old son is.
Generosity, kindness, and giving back have also helped my son. He’s 23 now, a 4.0 mathematics major at a great UC (Univ of California) school, and is he enjoys his ability to now tutor others toward loving Math, as well as helping friends and strangers negotiate emotional issues. BUT...in 9th grade, a Math teacher had said he would probably not graduate HS. (It got back to both of us through some indiscreet sharing which should never have happened.😡 took him weeks to get over that.) In middle school, his anxiety & ADHD, became so debilitating, that he refused to go to school, plummeting his grades from A’s to F’s; he missed the special jazz band field trip to Monterey Jazz Festival that year & many other school milestones, including promotion ceremony. He completed 8th grade online, and in 9th grade, I was able to get him on an IEP, which opened the door to services. We are blessed to have a huge public school, with great services. But the social anxiety was debilitating, causing headaches, nausea and other stomach issues, panic attacks, and suicidal ideation.We tried the home teacher approach, partial classes, summer school to catch up, and he had a good counselor & medication. This was 2013/2014 and the district was adding more mental health services for kids. The next year they added in a “wrap-around” service, which included a therapist and a behavior coach for him; a parent coach for me; a couple of family sessions at our house (which was great, even tho my husband was never a big believer in psych services 😞). By junior year, they suggested a therapeutic school out of state or a change to another HS near us with a “special ed” day program. (Neither a good choice for us.) I thought he would do better with online school, so he finally agreed. They are part of the public school district, a charter school. They provide a computer, headphones, all the books needed, and they had an excellent IEP team too. Even though we never met in person, we did meetings by phone. I’m happy to say, that he graduated in 2018, a year after his friends, but a gpa around 3.75. Went to community college after a year’s break to participate in a sports competition; changed majors twice before settling on Math in the guaranteed transfer program, and this Fall he is a university student, socializing in ways he never did in HS, and is respected and enjoyed by his peers, more emotionally stable than he was, and enjoying his life. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to write a book, but I really want to encourage parents, teachers and students to please, NEVER give up. Celebrate your different brain and keep learning how beautiful it can be. Life is not all about the grades. It really is about Love and having a purposeful life. Most people have the ability to do that. Good Therapy helps too! At one point, my son had a school therapist & the IEP team; an outside psychiatrist to monitor meds plus an outside therapist; behavior coach.......and of course, a kick-ass MOM who prayed, learned right along with him, and asked for help!
THANK YOU for "writing a book" in your comment. : - ) Hope is so important, and all the details you shared help! Also, kudos for indeed being a kick-ass mom! 😄👏🏆👏
Thank you Seth for making this video. It's going to be incredibly helpful to me when doing an overview of Executive Functions with incarcerated adults. The first time through we have gotten approval for four classes and I needed to introduce them to the importance of developing their executive function skills to better navigate their lives. I LOVE how you finished with accountability, asking for help and being of service. That is a very good place to start.
Thank you for making this video. I have been searching for a video that explains EF to teens in a relatable manner. I am excited to share this video with my students.
I'm so glad I found you, Seth! Our 14-year-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD since 2nd grade and struggles with everything you mentioned. The transition to high school has been tough but he really tries and his grades are pretty good. He puts in a lot of effort but I often feel like I am his executive function. I am trying to transfer them to him gradually because he needs to own them to become independent. I look forward to checking out more of your resources and sharing the ones that are relevant to him with him. Thank you!
This was a great video, exactly what I was looking for! Can these tips also be useful for other areas, not just school? Such as learning new skills or keeping your space clean? Cause I see that you focus on studying, but I'm curious because studying is only one of a couple areas that my executive disfunction affects.
I think I'll send this to one of my students who reminds me of young Seth. Your bonus was the best. Thank you for service attitude. It can mean the world to people. Take care, Lynn.
Seth, you are so giving and generous in sharing your wealth of authentic knowledge and practical resources. Teenagers at King's College in NZ will benefit so much from your resources and examples.
Seth, Youre one of the most generous people. You also do something that very few people who talk about EF/AHDH do and that is be proactive, positive and see yourself as a functioning member of society. Youre tips are so true and profound. Thats years of wisdom in them. Thank you for being who you are so that we can be better skilled for parents, teachers and students.
Thank you for this! As I was listening to you speak, I heard so much of my daughter in your descriptions of your thoughts and behavior when you were younger. I cant wait to sit down and watch this with her. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you Seth. I so appreciate all that you give to support students and families! Posting this (like so many of your videos) on my middle school Counseling website. Parents are always appreciative of your work.
Thanks so much for your sharing of insights. Do you know anything about PDA and the Executive Functions Skills ? I just discovered your videos, so I am diving into how to go about practicing the skills ❤
Thank you Seth. How beautiful to celebrate giving and generosity! That builds TRUST in others good will. One of the most valuable things I think you offer parents are not only tools, but HOPE! For some of us we have very resistant kids, and for some of us they have grown into adults! We can only encourage and offer suggestions and love them. It gets frustrating when some see us parents as "enablers' accepting kids where they are at. There is importance in accountability but most important is the self motivation to accept PERSONAL accountability and until a kid/young adult is at that point of willing to commit and wants to change they will NOT be successful and able to follow through. I agree with your #1 skill as critical. But I actually think COMMITMENT to change is the #1 skill! Until a person is willing to COMMIT they are stuck. I have seen some ask everyone and their brother how to overcome various issues but they can not humble themselves to trust others and commit to trying anything others recommend. It is exceptionally frustrating to see the 2e folks who know how to research the heck out of anything do the research to find the opposing data that supports debunking things which work for SO MANY!! It is a form of self deception. I think the biggest block there is inability to TRUST others. So thank you for your wonderful insight.
Thank you so much Seth! My son is 14 years old with ADHD, LD, anxiety and depression. I think the most challenging thing for me is him to accept help. I showed him one of your videos but he walked away in the end. I honestly do not know what to do 😢 any tips on how to break this resistance? I really would like to show him this powerful and insightful video but I do not know how and When! You really do an amazing job
I really hope that within the past year you learned to hold yourself back and love your kid as they are instead of putting even MORE pressure on them. 🙄
@NCat._.Roblox As someone whose ADHD wasn't diagnosed until well into adulthood, I just want to give you props for trying to find resources for your son and ways to help him actually accept them. I wish I'd had a parent who understood that I needed help and skills I didn't know HOW to name or ask for.
Great content as always Seth. I always send people your way. You really are great at articulating and illustrating things and providing real life ideas of how to strengthen skills.
How do you suggest developing that ability to recover from stressful unexpected events in life. How do you get out of the frozen stage when things are OK now but you are still frozen over now small things.
Thank you Seth This has help us enforce to our son why we want him to repeat things for eg having a list of positive sayings to say each morning to learn skills We did try him for a while to write his own lists of what he was going to achieve for the day due to us Homeschooling as we haven't found a school that can meet his needs either Academy or Emotionally His list of work that we wanted to achieve became smaller and smaller so the work required got less and the amount of time spent on each task became greater. So we have taken this off him currently, he still has impute but we will continue to skill train him on this task Thank you again for showing us we are still on the right path which we question sometimes I think as all parents do
I went to your blog and signed in to the momentum group wait list but didn't see prices. Also when are you planning to start with the wait list? And finally is there any testimony that you can put in your blog?
HI Seth, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 53. While I did not struggle in school, ADHD has had a negative impact on my career. Do you have recommendations for how I can strengthen my executive function skills? I am looking for books, videos or other online resources. The problem of procrastination, poor organizational skills and time management has plagued me since I was about 30 years old and has made everything about working in an office situation more difficult. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! Ellyn Collins
Thank you Seth for this, just watched this with my 10 year old daughter. It just hit me that she rarely asking for help with ANYTHING, and when she does, it’s almost like she is rejecting the help, it makes it so hard to try to help her when she gets so offended and aggressive…
Ugh. Asking for help. But people have their own problems and responsibilities in life, i dont feel comfortable with burdening them with yet more things to do just because I am unable to do stuff on my own... :(
Omg I know the feeling, but I've been doing better at accepting help when it's offered and I've been asking for help a lil bit more and it's made a world of difference. Sometimes for me just having someone help me START something has given me the lil boost I need to keep going. Just offering my 2 cents, good luck to you 🤞🏾❤️
I can one hundred percent relate, what changed my way of thinking is asking myself if I would help someone else with this if they asked. The answer is usually yes. I'm still not great at asking, but this helps me a lot.
