Top 10 Relationship Mistakes ENFPs Make 

1:13 Mistake #1 -- Having an entire relationship inside of your head instead of in real life 3:29 Mistake #2 -- Expecting the honeymoon period to go on forever 5:03 Mistake #3 -- Leading with feeling and ignoring the realities 7:00 Mistake #4 -- Staying in bad relationships too long because we think we can recreate the past 8:02 Mistake #5 -- Expecting a relationship to fix our entire lives 9:45 Mistake #6 -- Thinking that being self-aware means being interpersonal aware 10:53 Mistake #7 -- Taking our fantasies literally instead of using them as guideposts 12:34 Mistake #8 -- Wrapping the relationship up in your personal identity 14:17 Mistake #9 -- Not setting proper boundaries 17:15 Mistake #10 -- Greener Grass Syndrome 19:09 Closing notes + Suggestions for healthy, happy relationships for ENFPs

this is the most real talk i've ever received about my relationship issues.

INFJ here, I now understand why we’re such a good match.

-"Why did you do that?" -"It made me feel good" Me: #Attacked

The thought of being stuck with someone boring for the rest of my life is my worst nightmare 😱 But recently I've asked myself whether this means that I want my partner to entertain me and whether that's a realistic expectation. By " entertain me" I mean have engaging conversations with me. So I'm having a hard time figuring out what expectations are legit and which ones are unrealistic.

I am an INFJ-A and I am addicted to ENFP people. Yall always put me in a better mood because of y'all's redbull energy that you have nonstop. 🤣🤣

Man that was painful. I've cycled through all of them.

This is a such good advice for a young ENFP like me...but im still not ready for any relationship yet...idk it's quite hard for me to let others be my partner yet...im still not mature enough to start being committed to someone else

Hello from a fellow ENFP. I can relate to EVERY ONE of these relationship mistakes.

So we're Joseph Gordon Levit from 100 Days Of Summer.

"Grass is greener" issue is a hard one for me. I'm always thinking of the wide possibilities for all the amazing personalities and people to meet that occasionally, I get a little too in my own head to appreciate the people right in front of me and not some detached, idealized version of what people _could_ be.

1. inside of ur head (Fantasy), expect too much 2. expecting honeymoon forever, dont bailout 3. leading w feeling, ignoring reality 4. stay in bad Relationships too long, need to let go 5. expecting relationship to fix everything 6. self aware =/= interpersonally aware 7. taking fantasies literally 8. separate identity from relationship 9. dont set proper boundaries, giving, not paying attention to own need, Meeting their needs only 10. stop watering the fence

O--M--G！My girlfriend is an ENFP and I am an INTP. Watching the whole video almost feels like seeing a painter sketching my girlfriend’s portrait. Omg, I was definitely burned by these 10 things. Also because I’m an INTP, I tend to suffer even more (imo) because I find it hard to resonate with her feelings that seems unreasonable to my logic framework. Fortunately we’ve been working it through together and it has been turned out a lot better now. I can expect that we’d still have some problems in the future but I gradually gained confidence for our relationship and thank you for your advices! Respect!

As an ENFP this is on point. I stayed in a toxic relationship 3 years to long because of most of these points.... Mistakes 1-6, 8 and 9. It was detrimental to my well being and sense of self. It allowed him to fully take advantage of me because in reality he did not fully love me and even though I always knew that I’m the back of my head, I kept fighting for a love and relationship that was never going to make me happy. It wasn’t until he cheated on me with someone we both knew and within a month publicly announced her as his girlfriend, introduced her to family and friends, moved her in, said he loved her first.... all of these things that I had wanted and was working so hard to achieve yet it took almost a year into our relationship for him to even acknowledge me as his girlfriend! I made it a point to be single for awhile so I could really take the time to understand myself and what I will not put up with again. Thank you for this video.... it’s accurate AF

WOWOWOW I have made all of these mistakes... im currently not dating and learning about myself and this is SO helpful. Thank you so much for this! Definetly subscribing I feel so seen 💛

YOUR ARE 100% RIGHT it took me till 28 to realize it... YES FIX OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH US. I really hope this video helps all of us Anxious ENFP 7w6. Thank you for this Heidi

“Thinking that being self-aware means being interpersonally-aware” I feel attacked 😂

It’s so ENFP do a video for help another ENFP. I love you ❤️ this really help me

Dang..I thought I had grown, but I watched this & could see how almost all problems are my current problems in my relationship. Whoah I literally feel overwhelmed right now. Great video though🤗

I have been in a relationship for 13 years since age 16 and it seems i have learned a lot of what you suggested along that way. What hit home though was 1. the part of setting boundaries: my relationship went downhill the more i understood my needs and voiced them since my partner was used to get his way a lot. And 2. that we live in the past and the future: yes, i left a good relationship, Potentially good though and once good as well. It felt like the most selfish thing to break up with the person I love when I realized I wasn’t happy anymore and didn’t had the strengh left to work it out. Great video, thank you ~ enfp

I’m an INFJ and this video made me realize that we don't share any cognitive functions with ENFPs although we’re both NF types. Now I can see how different we can experience the same relationship.

8:25 omfg this is too real :') I do this with EVERYTHING in my life I swear... "a new ___ will fix everything negative I feel about myself" stOP ROASTING MEEE

i dont want to be this wayyyyyyyyyyyy. y cant i just be chill my god

Fascinating! Thanks for sharing, feels uncomfortably accurate

You will never find a more comprehensive, non-bs and useful video about relationship issues of ENFPs. Ever. This is fucking brilliant. All you ever need to know. Goldmine for a young ENFP. Talk about high NeTe + high IQ E8 nailing it. (My exact type, incidentally). - NeTe ENFP, 8w7, sx dom. 30+

Yeah, this is probably why I look foolish when I look at myself when I talk to people who did me wrong, because I can't set boundaries and I keep thinking that they're still the same version of people inside my head, when they are not. Thank you! This video really enlighten me and also made me chuckle because it's true. 😂 I'm gonna stick around.

I relate to the Fi oriented ones! Especially the dating someone’s potential instead of who they are. That seems like a particular ENFP and intj thing. Having intuition first and Fi, perfect combo for fantasy relationships 😂😅

I feel so called out I've done all of these mistakes! Honestly I am so done with dating and I realised I am very happy right now with just having lots of great friends and some meaningless hookups....

I felt so called out with this video but I know I needed this. I’m so glad I’ve matured more and my INTP partner of 9 years stayed and matured with me.

As an ENFP, I relate to this 100%!

In my humble opinion, the most important video of the year so far! I've made all of them to someone within a year! Nine of them at least countless times, and then later dumped them for the 5th time and blocked them. I dont even know what to do now with the situation and mess and hurt that l have created on both sides. Plus the self disappointment and guilt about your impulsive decision making. Maybe the best way to deal with this, and am glad l've found it while writing now is to study myself more and do better. Thank you Heidi.

Fellow ENFP here. Thank you for this video Heidi! For the longest time, I felt a lot of shame in what other people told me were areas I needed to work on. After seeing this video, I realize that they were unaware of my internal functions and projected how they would resolve my weaknesses with their own functions. This video has been insightful in how I have been overcoming some weaknesses already as well as showing areas I do need to work on. Definitely going to continue watching your videos thank you!

1:17 - Take it from someone who made this EXACT mistake with this girl I was into. It's *SO* important to see people for who they really are, and not for who you _think_ they are. We met online, and for almost a year I had this idea that she was this amazing person (she was away at college, but was from my area). When I finally met her in real life, she wanted nothing to do with me. I was simping hardcore for this girl in just about every way you can think of. Once I came to grips with the fact that she just didn't care about me, it took me nearly a year to recover. Really stupid, honestly, and something I'm not proud of. I was immature and didn't have a lot of 'real life' experience at the time. It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, but I became a better man because of it. I learned not to get wrapped up in girls (especially ones I don't really know). I learned to be more dominant, and to focus on my career, my health and my walk with God rather than on a girl.

Heidi... I can’t tell you how understood I feel and how intensely helpful this was for me. You have a gift. Thank you so so so much!!!

Your videos make me feel so seen. I have never been able to put to words or explain these issues until now. Thank you for this!

That never ever ever ever ever was so good and apt. And the bootcamp excerpts. Love your videos Heidi! -an INFP

Omg Heidi!! You were the FIRST person I really followed back in 2015 when I first learned about mbti. I would read every since article you’d write on thought catalog (and make all my friends read too). Also bought your “how you’ll do everything based on your personality type” book. Since then I’ve done so much research on carl jung and the functions to the point where most of my friends think I’m nuts. Excited to see your videos. Sincerely ~ISFJ

Damn, i'm can't stop crying! This was too accurate, i didnt expected see myself in every single topic, but for the first time in my life, all of this problens sound like something i can actualy improve and not like if was something wrong with me. Thank you so much for the great video!

Wow! This is the best ENFP relationship video I have ever watched. I also really love how it wasn't just a negative train on what ENFP's do wrong but how to fix it. Thank you!

This called me out on every conceivable level and I’m so deeply grateful

Heidi you are awesome! And this video is awesome and so full of amazing great knowledge. Thanks for compiling it, I feel I have clarified key points that were buzzing in my mind with it. I joined in the first edition of the bootcamp and I was soooo happy I did it, definitely worth. I will keep having an eye on your videos. Thanks Heidi! I am your fan!

Honestly, one of the best videos I’ve seen on this topic. Very helpful and it puts language to many points that I haven’t been able to express before. Thank you for sharing 😃✌️

God Bless you! I pray someone I know finds your channel. I had hoped for a resource like you to be available: Here you are! Thank you! Godspeed to you! Please continue your wonderful assistance to Enfps!

Wow..... Absolutely gobsmacked!! I wish I saw this video at the start of the year! Everything you talked about it rediculously accurate!

Blown away by this video, I never heard of ENFP before yesterday. Probably the biggest amount of insight i ever got in my love life in one clip. Thank you!

This video hits hard! I have never feel more relatable to any video until this one. Wow

Most of these things made me warmly smirk at myself--and I appreciate your making them more explicitly and understandably salient.

such a great video. as an infp, i especially relate to creating a fantasy in my head and then having a disappoinment because of my own unrealistic thoughts -not bc of that person actually-. i'd love to see an infp version of this topic 👉🏻👈🏻

Incredible video, great job with this. I'm an INFJ guy and I dated a young immature ENFP girl who did these things, I learned alot and have grown since this breakup. I'll keep this all in mind when dating more older mature ENFPs in the future. Thanks alot for this

Thank you Heidi. You obviously know your stuff and I can so relate to the many aspects that you are talking about. I am quite excited to listen to more of your videos. This video is definitely going to be a re-listen to. :)

Wow! Thank you so much for this video. I recently had a huge wake up call regarding patterns in my relationships that I couldn’t point out before finding about my personality type! This is so on point its scary. Im getting more and more comfortable of letting go o my desires to have a relationship and actually want to be alone and get to know myself!

You're the only ENFP content creator out here. And for that I thank you for being the platform where we all meet and feel understood ❤️

Done all the ten mistakes and that too to the full extent possible... That explains your knowledge regarding ENFPs is really amazing... Small clipping of Boot Camps seems really useful. I have learned a lot from this Video... Thank you Heidi

This is crazy good. I'm sending this to my husband... I'm INTJ so zero skills in explaining... U just did that job for me so beautifully in this lovely video..

I'm stunned by your eyes and your hair. They look so beautiful!!

THIS IS THE MOST ACCURATE VIDEO. SO IN DEPTH!!! I LOVE IT!! I'M ENFP AND ALL OF THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE MADE IN MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS

Heidi, we need more videos from you! You're on a roll, and I'm lovin' it! :D xx

How much realty in this video!, I like every moment of it thank you 😊

wooooowowow this was so helpful and ACCURATE! I just got out of my first ever relationship that was four years long...i'm happy I'll go into the next one knowing these things!

Loved listening to #10- ESFP type 7w8 x ENFP type 6w7.... we’ve definitely had to have these conversations. We realize we just have seasons, and that’s okay! And each season has something fun we can latch onto.

I can't believe she just said EVERYTHING that I do/am.. I wish I saw this video before! Now I get why my relationships used to be so hard for me... I recently started to identify this "fantasying" thing which I would create a person in my head and would fall in love with them but they never lived up to my expectations... Thank you for the eye-opening video!

Brilliant work Ms. Priebe

Oh right, you wrote the INFP book, I watched couple of your videos and didn't realize, how cool is that! It had so good looking cover so I bought it just because of that over the other INFP books. You are doing good work, keep it up 💪 I love ENFPs

This was so spot on what the heck 😩

Hello Friend, Wow. Just wow. Thank you for your perspective. I'm so thankful for your passion and desire to do YOU. I wrote down a few of the things you said in my journal. This is my second video I've watched and I love your philosophy. I recognize you as a worthy teacher and Im excited to participate in the experience that is Heidi's existence. I appreciate your contribution to society. Please KEEP GOING. No matter your struggle you've got this, I believe in your energy..

This is relatable to me at a whole different level,Thank you

Insightful as always - thank you!

Esto es tan sorprendente, has descrito muchos de los problemas que tuve en una relación pasada. Guardaré el video como oro :) y empezaré a poner en practica lo que dices, muchas graciaas

I am quite excited to discover your channel and hear your thoughts on ENFPs!! - An ENFP

Omg this is spot on! I can't believe it, everyone amazing video

This helped me SO MUCH, thank you!! I have subscribed, and I can tell that I have a lot more to learn from you!

Needed this reality check, thank you

You're damn good at this job Heidi. Great video

Thank you for this video. I've been having issues with my husband not being who I thought, and now I'm starting to realize that that's not his fault and I shouldn't have just expected him to want to do exciting things with me constantly. This was very helpful.

Hit the nail on the head with these ones, Thanks sm for this :))😊

Hi Heidi, I'm Mike, a 60 yr old Disabled Veteran. I'm INFJ-T Heyoka. You make complex psyc subjects very easy for me to understand.😊

THIS - IS - SOOOO - SOOOO - HELPFUL!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

Oh wow this was very great to hear. The only one I've really noticed and worked on is the poor boundaries, and its still pretty hard for me. But, I have made progress, and I've become better at noticing signs of people I shouldn't become close friends with because they're toxic.

Amazing advice and insight! Thank you!

I have experienced all of these to some extent. I needed this video.

Its honestly so freshing and eye opening to hear how i am and why

Thank you for sharing this Heidi 💜

Can relate a lot! Thank you so much, understood myself better

I do every one of these things. Thanks for the video!

Great take on this Heidi! Looking forward for more awesome stuff. - ENFP-A, 4w5

This was beautiful. Thank you.

thank u so much, i will keep coming back

Thank you so much! I feel so related and I think I finally got the answer of why I always feel like I'm the bad guy whenever I don't help others as much as they want. #9 mistake literally wakes me up. I'm so thankful as a 17yrs old ENFP who always feel like a mess.

i just stopped after the 7th mintue.. wow this is really good! your knowledge is just amazing for me as an ENFP Heidi !

Totally spot on...related to every single point.

wow, thank you so much for making this video

So accurate and in depth. Thanks for the video. After 5 failed relationships, the number one thing I'm concerned about right now before I start to date a new person is to know who that person really is. I used to jump into relationships without knowing them well...I'm much more practical right now. I'm more concerned about setting more boundaries right now. Not giving, giving, giving, giving.....Fe: Not their wants, but their needs. Gut feelings. Things you know within 10 days of meeting the person.... Woohhh.... Fi + Si: Our perception of time is not the way it should. The way the things were vs. reality. Letting go of a bad relationship feels like letting go of a good relationship...... A relationship would not fix other things in life better. So true. Gotta have a better relationship with yourself. Do not outsource self-worth. Being self-aware does not mean being interpersonally aware. Forget to check on people in real time. Take your partner at face value. Do not wrap up the relationship in your identity. This is not who I am.

This was a slap in the face; in a good way!

Hey, Heidi!!! Great to see you here! 🤗 Loved your intro. No, we never dated briefly, but I do know you through your ENFP Bootcamp 😉. Insightful list!!! Some of those hit home hard. All are helpful reminders. 🙏 Hope you are doing well!!! 💖

God, this video speaks truths, and now I have to figure out how to integrate it into my life

"outsource the self-work that we have to do ourselves" oh yes. I was like this before!

you hit the nail on the head

11:10 as an esfp, I see this as a good sign. It means that I’m actually aware that I can improve something with my spouse. Wouldn’t be surprised if ENFPs could come to similar conclusions

From a young ENFP - Thank you so much!!

I'm an ENFP that just got out of a 2 year relationship and I'm guilty of doing literally every single one of these in that relationship.. :( On the bright side, this information was very helpful and I strongly hope I can retain it and reflect on it to make positive changes in my future relationships. Thank you ~