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Top 10 superfundamentalist church stories 

kevin james thornton
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29 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 60   
@lordsxman
@lordsxman 5 дней назад
I'm glad "Heathen Keyboard" made the list.😅
@calamityjenn
@calamityjenn 5 дней назад
My first boyfriend, back in the early 90s, was desperate to "save" me. He was a fundamentalist, I was not. We really liked each other. It was all quite wholesome but doomed because, being the harlot I was, I refused to give up listening to U2. It all came to an end when he threw my Joshua Tree tape out the window whilst driving home from a church trip to Wild Waves. The expletives flying out of my mouth shocked him to tears. We never spoke again. I'm still furious about it.
@mrjohnson7988
@mrjohnson7988 4 дня назад
But bono is Christian 🫣
@redofthewolves
@redofthewolves 4 дня назад
Being from Seattle myself this really had me cackling at the idea of somebody going to wild Waves and having a religious fight on the way.
@sheridan7475
@sheridan7475 4 дня назад
Men will use any excuse to be violent towards women. Taking your things and forcefully removing them is violent. It’s sad. Jesus is Lord, and may He have mercy on these lost men.
@Plethorality
@Plethorality 4 дня назад
It was YOUR tape! Not his to destroy. I had a boyfriend at bible college who hated me for kissing him.... It was the 80s...
@Greenplanet949
@Greenplanet949 3 дня назад
He was doing what they used to call “missionary dating.” I worked for a religious organization and used to see a lot of this. I always thought we “non religious” are very attractive to them, a sort of forbidden fruit.
@caspenbee
@caspenbee 5 дней назад
"I saw Kevin at the Rocky Horror Picture Show!" "Girl, what were *you* doing at the Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
@Mrtop9-ji5ex
@Mrtop9-ji5ex 5 дней назад
Jesus did not give me the power to tear the phone book in half…🤣🤣🤣💀
@AlexandriaSWest
@AlexandriaSWest 5 дней назад
Heathen Keyboard is now going to be the name of my next band.
@angelaknebel4156
@angelaknebel4156 5 дней назад
🤣🤣🤣 ah yes, I recognise so much of this ... "Backslidden", altar calls, "secular music", foot washing, gimmicky "street evangelism", charismatic-speak ...yup!!!! 😁
@kitkat261
@kitkat261 5 дней назад
I died at "premartial sex clown"
@immehanebuth123
@immehanebuth123 5 дней назад
Sounds like band name
@andromedaspark2241
@andromedaspark2241 4 дня назад
Sounds like quality party entertainment to me.
@AskALibbieist
@AskALibbieist 5 дней назад
“What’s up Jesus shammala hammala” made me laugh so hard lol
@schonnj
@schonnj 5 дней назад
The answering machine bit is the best one. That would be super, SUPER awkward.
@oa4895
@oa4895 5 дней назад
Oh my gosh, I remember the phone book rippers! They came to our after school program and after the show they had us sign something like, "I accept Jesus as my lord and savior," like it was a contract or something.
@mamawray
@mamawray 3 дня назад
I need "Clown Ministry" to be a movie. It is the Joker sequel that we truly deserve.
@blake3847
@blake3847 5 дней назад
Ok sandy patty is a bop.
@clearlieme
@clearlieme 5 дней назад
At the same time over in Australia, my parents were teen/early 20s goths and I may or may not have existed yet depending on what half of the 90s it was. My Dad was a trad goth with a safety pin through his nose that baby me pulled out all the time and my Mum was a romantic goth with a big black fur coat that my dad would steal to take clubbing until one time he got so drunk he lost it. They're both bisexual and my mum made her gay best friend my godfather in the hopes it would get him off the hardocore drugs (spoiler alert it didn't) and nobody explained to me that godparents and fairy godparents were different things and that they werent all godmothers until I was like 9 because they all thought me calling my gay goth godfather my fairy godmother was hilarious. The world is a beautiful place 🥲
@screaminggecko7660
@screaminggecko7660 2 дня назад
As a gay goth if I had a godchild call me their fairy godmother I'd NEVER correct them lmao 🤣😂
@ginkoyakumo6600
@ginkoyakumo6600 3 дня назад
I LOVE THIS ❤ I literally heard all your stories while I prepare to sleep, but I'm always tapping to jump to another one, but now I'm not gonna need that.
@CaduceusErin
@CaduceusErin 5 дней назад
I grew up Catholic, but my mom was a youth group leader and big into chastity rallies, which were often non-denominational, but leaned fundamentalist, lol. We definitely did feet washing, but no speaking in tongues. 😂
@Greenplanet949
@Greenplanet949 3 дня назад
I and my girlfriend (raised Catholic)were invited to an acquaintance’s super fundamentalist Sunday service. It was speaking in tongues and a whole lot a crazy. I never forgot that.
@Tibyon
@Tibyon 5 дней назад
All of these are so relatable it's insane
@larsatticus6807
@larsatticus6807 5 дней назад
I knew shamala hamala would be number one! Such a classic.
@verseapocalyptica668
@verseapocalyptica668 4 дня назад
Off to write “HEATHEN KEYBOARD” on my synthesizer ❤❤❤
@ZhovtoBlakytniy
@ZhovtoBlakytniy 2 дня назад
My step-grandpa's brother runs a fundamentalist church as a pastor. My grandma and step-grandpa wanted me to go and get saved, so I did because I had nothing else to do that weekend. My wisecrack self decided to get them all really excited, so I started singing a Norwegian black metal song but made it sound like I was speaking in tongues after they swiped my forehead with olive oil. I never went back. Wish me luck in the afterlife.
@swankyswede
@swankyswede 5 дней назад
Looove you Kevin, thank you! ❤❤
@AskALibbieist
@AskALibbieist 5 дней назад
Gonna call my Christian rock band Heathen Keyboard 🎸
@22RosesGrow
@22RosesGrow 3 дня назад
😂👍🏻
@83lulube
@83lulube 5 дней назад
This isn't much different than going to a super fundamentalist church in the early 2000s. I took it to a whole new level and went to their school as a Catholic! I was sinning daily!! 😂
@edsheeran1243
@edsheeran1243 5 дней назад
"beyond the shadow of a doubt" is a phrase you will never ever hear anyone say outside of a church service
@smittykins
@smittykins 5 дней назад
Or “you know that you know that you know.”
@daniellamcgee4251
@daniellamcgee4251 5 дней назад
That's interesting. I grew up on a different continent, mostly not in a church, and I can't relate personally to any of Kevin's stories, but 'beyond a shadow of a doubt' was a standard phrase. It wouldn't be out of place to say it now, although more common before the niiiintieees. 😊
@funnyusername8635
@funnyusername8635 5 дней назад
You may hear it in a courtroom.
@jstorms529
@jstorms529 5 дней назад
This Is GREAT !!!!! 🎉❤😂😅
@nomirusso20
@nomirusso20 3 дня назад
I died at #2!!! I remember Sandi Patty!!
@jaeho7501
@jaeho7501 4 дня назад
Maybe "Shamala Kamala"?
@myqueerplantfamily
@myqueerplantfamily 3 дня назад
I was an atheist who went to a fundamentalist Christian school (long story 😂) and one day they sprung a foot washing ceremony on us. 😟 Can confirm dirty foot water!
@22RosesGrow
@22RosesGrow 3 дня назад
Minister to the Rocky Horror Picture Show😂 uh oh. It's a fun soundtrack.
@BobDeGuerre
@BobDeGuerre 3 дня назад
Shamala hamala, I'm voting for Kamala!
@mamawray
@mamawray 3 дня назад
"Apparently in the Bible Jesus washed people's feet." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@stevnated
@stevnated 5 дней назад
I love the RHPS one lol (And #3!!! So funny)
@z.l.burington1183
@z.l.burington1183 4 дня назад
Shamala Hamala!
@DaylanTheAngrySauerkraut
@DaylanTheAngrySauerkraut 5 дней назад
Stephanie was promiscuous clown, Janet was heathen painting clown, Adam was running around screaming and crying his own name and being dramatic...
@bluebird3042
@bluebird3042 4 дня назад
I adore you 😂😂😂
@mariewraight4969
@mariewraight4969 4 дня назад
This really makes me want to go to a super fundamentalist church 😂😂😂
@Flouncymagoo22
@Flouncymagoo22 5 дней назад
Then I saw his face! Now I'm a subscriber!!!!
@Sherelle86
@Sherelle86 3 дня назад
What's sad is that people like this and fans of people like this actually consider themselves bible experts.
@lionsroar4713
@lionsroar4713 2 дня назад
The reason you kept getting saved is cause you had guilt about being gay. I mean you probably new you were gay then. I'm still a Christian and I struggled with those feelings even though I know better. I would be nothing without God. I mean seriously I fight with him all the time but I owe my breath. I call it growing pains cause all the same I feel that everyday I come closer to embodying the true love of Christ (that is not the Christian rhetoric they give us. The hate and lies).
@Cheese-is-its-own-food-group
@Cheese-is-its-own-food-group 4 дня назад
There’s literally *nothing* worse than a heathen keyboard. Nothing. BTW- did you go to college at Trevecca? Your story is a lot like my husband’s at his superfundamentalist church college.
@pookspeak9529
@pookspeak9529 5 дней назад
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