Top 5 best jokes in the Carry On film series 

From the dentist one. "Tooth out! I'd rather have a baby." "Well make your mind up before I adjust the chair."

A vague memory - I think it must have been a Carry On that contained the exchange: "If you're a pirate where are your buccaneers?" "On the side of me buccin 'ead"

For me the number one was "Infamy, Infamy, they've all got it in for me!"

In Carry on Doctor, Barbara Windsor sees Peter Gilmore eating a piece of fruit. Babs: "What a lovely looking pear." Gilmore: "You took the words right out of my mouth."

My favourite is from Carry on Up the Khyber: The Khasi of Kalabar: "And may his radiance light up your life." Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: "And up yours."

You forgot the #1 of all time Carry on Cleo when Caesar newly stabbed says "Infamy, Infamy, they've all got it In For Me"

I looked forward to each and every one of them. They were very popular here in Canada where we enjoyed the accents and Britishisms immensely.

"tried it once" has always been my favorite.

From Carry On Jack: (On a sailing frigate, 1800) "What's that plaque on the deck?", "That's where our last captain fell.", "Yes, I nearly tripped on it myself."

"We're here to let off some seamen. . . . NOT IN MY TOWN YOU DON'T "

Carry on Henry: Barbara Windsor - I can't believe it, little me in the king's arms! Sid James - It's the best boozer in town!

Such fun, silly films. Always make me happy!

The bullshippers one is classic

All classics. My favourite is Hattie Jacques in Carry on Again Doctor ´I´m a simple woman and I want to be wooed´ Kenneth Williams replies ´Oh you can be as wooed as you like with me!` Absolute genius.

What about the gag where Kenneth Williams says " But Matron I was was once a weak man". To which she repies " Oh Doctor, once a week is enough for any man".

Carry on Cowboy "I'm the Mayor" Sid: You better watch out for my horse, hasn't seen a mare for weeks." Best I can remember from nearly 60 ya. Never forgotten it.

The Carry On films are great for a rainy Saturday and nothing else to do. Bottle of wine and a triple feature.

"You must be circumspect." "I was when I was a child."

number one line was "Hampton Court ?" and king Henry replies "no ,I always walk like this"

Moostafaleek! ... from Follow that Camel always has me laughing every time.🤣

British humor is finer than gold.

'Shoo, Cooking Fat!' (shooing cat) 'They can't call it that, surely? 'Well, that's what it sounds like.'

Those Carry On Movies were a Sunday event when I was a kid, I had forgotten all about them.

Carry On Up The Khyber: Brother Blecher: "I've never ridden in a cart pulled by cows before." Captain Keene: "Bullocks, Mr Belcher!" Brother Belcher: "No, I haven't, honestly."

The Infamy line was my favourite, as well. My second favourite was the “Frying tonight” line, in Carry on Screaming.🙂

Fantastic, although can I add these three from Kyber, "...you're a bit of a shot, I hope I heard you correctly!", "Fakir...off", and "I've never been on a cart pulled by cows, Bullucks Mr Belcher, no really I haven't."

My favourite are: "Infamy, infamy" (Williams) "looks like I'm getting plastered", (Sims) and "Doctor, you always were a once a week man" (Hattie).

Infamy!!! Infamy!!! They’ve all got it in for me.

"Hampton Court?" Had me sniggering for hours. Couldn't get to sleep! I wonder which came first, that or M and W's " Do you have the scrolls? Same punchline.

Infamy ! Infamy ! They´ve all got it in for me !

From Carry On Camping - *Mrs. Fussey [about her daughter Joan and her friend Anthea]:* _"They might think your intentions are honorable, but personally, I've got sore misgivings"_ *Sid Boggle:* _"You ought to put some talcum powder on them"_ 🙃

Thanks for the laughs!

From Carry on Dick, at the tailors: Sergeant Strapp: There's a notorious inn just as you go into Lower Dencher here. Captain Fancey: The Old Cock, on the right. Isaac: Aha! Well that's where we've been goin' wrong! Captain Fancey: Ye- What? Isaac: I've made provision on the left.

"No, it has to be the bull" makes me laugh every time. "Wear regulation trousers. That is all." "Miss Alcock" "Do you mind if I smoke" "Frying Tonight!!"

Quite rightly number one. 👍🏻

Mine is from Carry on Doctor I think. Patient is ask why he's in hospital and replies old war wound. He's asked to explain and says that he was in a trench when a grenade was tossed in and it landed between his legs and exploded and shrapnel went right up his .... rectum fills in doctor Well didn't do them any bloody good.

All that comes to mind are the cheesy ones "I have done it. Put it in... The sugar" and the bit with the elderly husband and the boarder. "That's the trouble. SHE's pregnant too"

"I was once a weak man" can't be beat.

Carry On Up the kyber - "that must be the famous British Flem!"

recently, at least one news announcer mentioned a local "'shroom bloom"; for some reason, her comment reminded me of the "poison mushrooms" joke. now, a few days later, i see a version of that joke in this video. coincidence? 🍄☠️

No. 3 still my favourite

Don't lose your head. " these English and their country seats, do they have towns in the city too?" "I'm sure you've heard of a London derriere."

2:30 June Whitfield. (I remember her from _Ab Fab_ .)

The bet in the last clip for "half a dollar" IIRC, that's back in the days when the exchange rates were pretty stable and would be about a half crown (2s 6d)

From up the Khyber " I spit on their British Phlegm "

Is that Peter Butterworth in some of the clips? I’ve never seen a Carry On movie but I recognize him as The Monk from Dr Who

She was only the Admirals daughter, but her naval base was always full of discharged seaman. Not sure which, if any Carry on film contained this joke.

number 2 (& a follow through in #1)

Sid James objects to Pattie Jakes that he's not having an affair with a girl at the local tobacconist: "...I only went in there for me shag!"

Carry on Up the Kyber: Oh dear y me, I’ve just been plastered. Or words to that effect…😊

WHERES LOVELY PEAR

Do you mind if I smoke?

All the jokes in the Carry On movies were corny, old, and predictable. I just can't understand why I still laugh my head off every time I watch these stupid movies!

I'm not British (nor english). If someone could explain n. 4 and n. 1, that would be nice.

What Stuart Farquhar picked these as the best?

Sid James to Jim Dale, ‘ & what do you hunt’? Reply: ‘Romans’.

Infamy!........?#

How come nuffink wiv Barbra Windsor

Well to be honest, the bar is pretty low

No Kenneth Connor falling into shit?

You're confirming it was mildly amusing, but never funny.

It was a terrible series.