Top 5 Reasons Girls Disappear On You | Courtney Ryan 

From an older guy to the younger guys - Two things to keep in mind while dating: First, if a woman is interested in you, it will be very obvious. You won't have to wonder at all. Second, if she loses interest it means she was never that interested in the first place and in all likelihood found someone she liked better. You were just a placeholder until a better option showed up. Accept that, forget her, and move on. Oh and if at some point she reaches out, ignore her. It just means that the other relationship didn't work out and she needs your services as a placeholder again.

If she stops texting you. She lost interest/respect for you, move on and don’t be a simp for her.

They found someone better in their eyes, then again, and again, and again……until you get the “OMG, where are all the good guys”

Any woman who ghosts/discards you and doesn't provide closure with a reasonable explanation is not worth it. You've absolutely dodged a bullet.

You never have total control over how someone feels about you, focus on bettering yourself everyday.

If a woman isn't interested in you, the worst thing you can do as a guy is to obsess over why it is that she stopped being interested. Whether it was you or her, it's really not that deep and you'll drive yourself crazy analyzing every single thing about you in order to avoid it happening again. Just chalk it up to a loss and move on.

Getting dumped/ghosted for having white sheets?? Jesus, no wonder men are giving up on dating…

"She doesn't like you". Actually, she doesn't like her PERCEPTION of you and the way you fit into her fantasy. I just want to make that distinction, as someone might feel their value as a person is lower, but the truth is it's not even about you. We all create fantasies about the people we meet and imagine how they will fit into ours, and maybe she can't find the fantasy to fit her perception. It can't be you, because she doesn't know the REAL you. Aside, great points in the video. Thanks, Courtney!

This is too common. People on TikTok think they're "dating experts" that give trash advice. And this whole ghosting stuff is why I stopped using dating apps. I'll be out in the field. These games are overrated

It's an odd moment when you realize that you're just a woman's attention guy. Even worse if you're genuinely attracted to her.

The MOMENT you show her interest on her she starts looking for someone else RIGHT AWAY. So this is a mental disorder.

This should be called top 5 reasons you avoided an asteroid in your life, and should be grateful.

Great advice as always. Appreciate the help. The "ick" list sounds like why that person will always be single. No one is perfect.

Courtney, anybody who devises an "Ick List", immediately enters a possible relationship situation focusing on negatives instead of the positives. Nobody is perfect. I feel the lady in your video explaining her "Ick List", will one day realize she was not that special, and perhaps understand why the men in her life put her on their "Ick List" because of her attitude, and sense of entitlement.

Learn when to walk away, gentlemen. Story for y'all: I had a thing going on with my coworker for a little while. We never got to date because she was going through some things. I respected it, but she still kept showing signs of interest. After a while, I found out she was talking to someone else. I wanted to remain as friends. I ended up getting Covid for 2 weeks, and not once she texted me to get better. However, prior to Covid, I met a nice girl (who's a lawyer), that takes time out of her day to text me back. She even wished me to get better from Covid. Said coworker has made no effort to ask how I've been since Covid, nor asks me anything about my personal life anymore. The lawyer at least makes an effort with me. You never know when things get better after a possible toxic relationship.

Society should be finding what is right about people instead of what's wrong about people. That really says more about you.

Funny how people are "trying to reach perfection..." but it's just piling on the requirements to be perfect on someone else. Whilst being blind to their own faults, no less.

My Ex actually HIT ME WITH the “ick” she kept a journal of my wrongs and things that transpired between us. Coming to find out she was just in love with her ex and sleeping with her friends and not ready for a relationship!

The amount of women I've seen stay with men that cheat on them, emotionally abuses and plays games is amazing, fellas a woman is gonna be with you if she chooses to do so, don't feel the need to be this special guy for them. Ladies, don't get mad when you can't change a man, then realize YOU wasted your time with him.

I’ve worked on myself An incredible amount over the past five years. Getting rid of excess baggage, Meditating, really learning about who I am as a person, Finding my passions and goals, and i became really starting to be in tune with myself and comfortable in my own skin. I’ve become much happier person from all of this. So I know I definitely took a foot in the right direction for myself however, For the first time in my life I am having a hard time finding women to date. Who would’ve thought? Seems like women have Much less interest in me now than when I had unresolved issues. My biggest hangup is for the first time in life I know exactly what I want in a woman and know exactly what a healthy relationship should look and feel like. Finding emotionally available emotionally healthy women it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.

My list: - Not sharing the same interests - Not having what she wants in a guy - Being too available - Not having a own life

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Great quote!

Society is hopeless 😩 thanks social media and Apps ! Love this lady she just tells it like it is 🙌

You know Courtney Ryan is way wrong when she says you don’t need closure and excusing ghosting. If you go out with a girl and spend a considerable amount of time and money with this person, the girl owes the guy at least a goodbye text if not a break up conversation. If there is abuse, then yes, I think this is an exception. But it’s very immature for someone to just ghost the other person. We are human beings with feelings, there is no excuse to not give someone a break up notice. I find women do this and they should be called out for it and closure is appropriate and mature way of letting someone down easy.

"Fill in Guy"... yep, been there done that. I told the girl who used me in that fashion that she blew the chance to get to know a high-quality guy. Her loss.

Note to everyone: if you want to go ahead with the whole, "ick", on someone to look for a person's blemishes, do not forget that the door swings both ways. A person whom you might like, might have an, "ick list", on you as well. In the end, please treat someone as you want to be treated. (which also means that you value and love yourself first)

I think younger me needed to hear that. Didn’t ever date her, but it took me a long time to realize I was just being played when I was younger. Eventually I gathered the strength to know what I’m worth and now years later I have a wife and 2 children. ❤️

Well, now you know the reasons why they do it, guys, or at least 5 reasons, so, let me reiterate what you do about it. 1. Do NOT try to get back with her. You have just been shown specifically what you were to them. THAT is how it would go the next time. 2. Do NOT investigate why. If you do this, you are demonstrating that she DID matter to you. Be stoic. Stay in control of your feelings. Chances are, it'd just piss you off, anyway. 3. "Let's just be friends." NOPE!!! You don't need to be around someone you have feelings for so she can take advantage of that. Don't be an asshole about it. 4. Do not take her back. It is often the meat and drink of a bitch to wonder how her loss affected you. When she learns it didn't even break your stride, for some strange reason, it turns them on. They will try to tell you they made a huge mistake. Yup, and just leave it there. She deserves this. 5. Move forward. Do what YOU want to do. It takes a little practice, but it's ok to reflect on your time with her. There may have been lessons to learn, or good times you'll miss, but do not EVER mourn their loss from your life. Harden yourself, and be more selective next time, if you choose for there to be a next time. It may be un-Courtney Ryan-like for me to suggest this, always have your shields up. That said, do not lock phasers and begin firing. When I say "keep your shields up", this is a metaphor for "keep your head up, your shoulders back, and do NOT look down. As for "locking phasers..." Look up, acknowledge others, but do not stare or stare down. Confidence, not conflict.

With how scientific guys have to be these days at getting the formula "just right" to even keep a woman's attention for longer that 15 minutes, we're going to have a generation of single people like there's never been before...

She was never into you, but she gladly accepts the free food and drinks and you paying her credit card debt, haaaaaaa! xD

"Comparison is the thief of joy." I know where you got it from.😀

from my experience... many times it has to do with the involvement of a 3rd party and what I mean by this is that many times women value their friends and social circles more than any guy or sexual relationship ( because keep in mind, women are more attuned to emotional needs rather than sexual needs). so, her friends can convince her not to date nor get involved with a particular guy or try to give reasons or excuses to why she could do better or he is not a match for her. For example, a woman first likes a guy and is very excited and interested and gets to know the guy..... then she is so excited she tells all her friends or best friends; then maybe her friends or social circles do not like this particular guy, or they're jealous of him or they feel like she could do better, they could convince her to drop this guy; leave him alone and move on! This is one ugly reality of the dating scene many people do not like to admit nor talk about in general. This is the truth to why many women end up losing interested or end up moving on after they expressed interest. If the woman was not that interested in the first place, then I personally don't believe that she would waste her time in the first place! In fact, Courtney, I would love you to do a video on why it is not a good idea to involve 3rd parties in your intimate/romantic sexual relationships or dating because 3rd parties can really be detrimental and breach the relationships!

#2 is one of the most common. For a long time I was always the “attention guy” and that can kill a guy’s self esteem.

so basically, anything miniscule will lead to ghosting or losing interest. I literally set up a date with this girl in my gym she agreed, and then 5 days later when I asked if she was still down she just ghosted me.

When my ex broke up with me, she told me it was because she wasn’t ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends until then (called me when she was on her lunch break to do this). I understood and went with it. Found out from her best friend that it’s because she cheated on me with her ex once he came back home for 2 weeks from being deployed in Hawaii. Plus that week when she broke up with me, she already went on a date that weekend. Been tough recovering from the truth. Love this channel for advice 🙏🏽

I used to be the attention guy. Whenever I suggested we spend some time together she'd be busy or couldn't make it. I continued on hoping that we'd hang out eventually but it never happened. I moved away and I never heard from her again. It sucks but I learned, not making that mistake again.

I relate with the “ick” because I was seeing someone who I found incredibly attractive and interesting up until I learned that she only eats fast food. This is not a joke.. she told me “all we eat at my house is fast food, nobody cooks” When I finally went to her house her mom ordered papa John’s for dinner and earlier that day we had McDonald’s for lunch at our Uni. I was grossed out lol

Interesting topic. I think it's unreasonable to look for a perfect person. Rather acknowledge that people have flaws and you do too. There's obvious red flags that you should try to fix or distance yourself from, however, if you jump from relationship to relationship, you'll find out that everyone you find attractive has their issues. It's just a matter of which mix of issues you decide to accept and ultimately be their life long partner.

If someone disappears on you it’s because that person is a deplorable human being

"ICKS"?! Bruh, everybody has faults and if you can't accept you're not perfect, you will always be disappointed.

All this crap is why I gave up on women. So much happier on my own.

Why she lost interest in u? Cause she has about 13 more options lmfao 😂

Ghosting? Disappearing on anyone is ghosting. Ghosting anyone is just rude. The only justification is if she has good reason to worry about her safety.

When a guy rejects a girl they can't stand it. It's so bad that some girls need 6 months of therapy to get over it. Remember guys it's okay if she rejects you, but don't dare reject her!

You are killing it with these types of videos Courtney

I have had a couple of girlfriends come back to me, a few months after disappearing. I spoke with both of them when they came back each time, but decided not to get back together in either case. In both cases we only dated a short time at beginning. it was obvious they was dating other guys in-between and trying to decide. I just did not like being considered number 2 choice. The woman I did marry was about a couple of years later and she always kept me number one and played it straight, no games. However, after many years, I am facing dating again as we split up, and as an older guy with experience, so not entirely worried about how to date (I am not shy with women) just need a refresher course like listening to this channel for some solid tips for self improvement and how to romance a woman etc. Thanks Courtney!

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’. So true.

Solid, timeless advice. This why I keep coming back to this channel.

bro so basically it's not you, she can dislike you for anything. Don't date anyone and just make money. That's how it is nowadays anyways.

This happened to me Wednesday with a girl I’ve been seeing 4 months ago. Best girl I’ve ever gone out with. I’m not obsessing over it but damn does it hurt especially after having given this one my all which I never do.

Courtney - great comments as always - I agree. But at the end of the day, the best remedy, no matter what, is always the good old "develop your self-esteem" - love yourself to the point you really don't care whether or not she stopped liking you. Move on! When you love yourself you will generate such a great vibe that you'll end up attracting the ones that actually are in synch with you and that's when life gets so much better

I'm now subscribed. You get it, about things. All of what you said needed to be heard. With the "ick" part, people shouldn't be doing the "ick" thing in general, let alone in dating. One of my pet peeves is when people do the "ick" thing, at all. "Attract the right person for you." Good line. Not just the right person, but the right person "for us."

I've been through such a ghosting recently myself and after watching this video, looks like a combination of factors 3 (not into you) and 5 (met someone else). Videos like this help keep such experiences in perspective. Barring some over-the-top behavior or clinginess on your part, that is not you, that is all them. Accept, process, move on.

I have never heard of this ick before but good thing I know now! Great vid Courtney!

The best thing about this is most definitely the comments. A wealth of knowledge right there !

JUST FOUND YOUR PAGE LAST WEEK AND I'M HOOKED/ YOU ARE SPOT ON IN EVERYTHING I'VE SEEN. THANK YOU. I'M A BIG FAN. YOUR DELIVERY IS AWESOME AND YOU KNOW THE SUBJECT EVERY TIME.

Neediness, being desperate and having saying yes to everything she says are the biggest down sides to be attractive. She is not going to develop any feelings for you.

The ick list is the worst piece of advice. You have to look for the good in people. If you are constantly looking for all the bad things in people you will actually absorb all that bad energy and you will actually become that person, so beware.

"Comparison is the thief of joy". That's quite good

I just wanna say, I feel like I was getting life advice - not just dating advice. Thank you.

she got the 'ick' - 1:00 you were the attention guy 5:22 she was never into you - 7:03 you were too clingy - 8:28 she met someone else - 9:49

Focussing on the negative brings in more negative. I think if you are keeping a list of reasons to leave rather than a list of reasons to stay you'll eventually talk yourself into leaving.

you're actually very genuine to both guys and girls. awesome

I really like the way you approach dating advices. It makes total sense. Thank you! Keep up the good work

The "Ick List" sounds like the closure the creator uses the justify dump/ghosting or expedting being dumped/ghosted in the most unproductive way possible.

"It's not going to work out." What does it mean to work out? Sounds like determining the end before you get to the middle or the beginning.

Hi Courtney. Thank you for making these videos. I have learned quite a bit. Your videos are always of excellent quality and very helpful.

This is my favorite Courtney video so far!

Thank you for this as always! Had some woman ghost before in the past, but it's okay just working on myself and these videos really do help appreciate all that you do.! Happy early Halloween by the way! 😁🔥👊💙🙏

Courtney, once again comes with more HEAT! Guys sometimes it’s you and sometimes it isn’t. Actually most times it isn’t you. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. That girl was not the right one for you. Continue to grow, don’t hold a grudge and live life to the fullest. Everything will fall into place

she is honest & unbiased. i wish good things honest people & vis-a-vis.

I discovered you about a week ago and really enjoying the videos. Thanks for some great wholesome advice!

I really liked these points you covered beautifully with consistent information and gave ways to tackle this problem

If I learned anything about a girl disappearing on you, or about any breakup in general, is that you will almost NEVER know the real reasons why. That's one of the reasons why it hurts so much. On the other hand, keep in mind that the real truth might have had hurt you even more :-)

Hi Courtney 👋 How are you doing today ? Thank you very much for this video, I finally got to understand that she ghost me out because one of your five reasons could of taking place in our fresh relationship !! Thanks and God bless you Courtney !!

Thank you so much for bringing me to a sense of closure

New quote on my dating app; "I volunteer as tribute!"

I like this subject you talked about. I learned to accept when a girl doesn’t like me? This really helped me out cristine

Great advice as usual Courtney! I love this channel

I'm not going to change myself for anyone but me. I change myself to improve myself, but for no one else

She lost interest because she keep her Bumble or other dating app profile up and something better came along. It used to be that you would ask a girl out and a few weeks might go by before another guy asks her out or you might even become "a couple" after you "seal the deal". On the dating apps, they get asked out everyday by multiple guys and so they can't commit. Are men the same? I'd say most men aren't as picky as women and don't get as many matches. For women, they get 100 likes - 5 guys they like back. For men, its give a 100 likes and they might get 5 back. Thats probably being generous too. For Chads, its the opposite.

Honestly, social media has ruined dating for the majority of people for a variety of reasons. Courtney is one of the few women I'd actually take RU-vid advice from because she's beautiful, has a nice voice, seems to genuinely try to help people, men and women alike, and tries her best to be as neutral as possible. She won't sugarcoat, but she keeps her content pg to pg13 rated and I respect that even though I'm more of an R rated person😆

Excellent video and I learned a lot. I was struggling with why she didn't contact me. An abundance mindset is what I will maintain. Thank you Courtney

Great video. Thank you for posting this.

Ok, question: if "one-itis" is never ok, then how is anyone ever supposed to get to the point of a committed relationship and marriage?

I'm 73 and have never been in an abundance situation. However, although I've never been needy ( Ithink), I've always been in a situation where choices are severely limited. Dating on-line is as bad at my age as any; the pool is limited and the lack of replies to messages or being blocked from sending a further message is crushing, and I rarely last for more than a few weeks before feeling so bad about myself that I withdraw.

When I feel love I Give Love even though I didn't receive it. It happens in a relationship unless or until if we are probity to ourselves not others. Have a Great Day Ms.

This is partly why it’s hard for me to break the scarcity mindset. When I get rejected by so many women that are just looking for something better, it just makes me lose hope in dating.

I was dumped by my ex after 3 plus months out of "nowhere" meaning no prior drama at all. She literally went from " want to quit my job and find a house to move into with you to I've lot all the spark and think we should split two weeks later. Her only reasons : lack of experimentation in the bedroom and me disagreeing with her feministic viewpoints. As a result she left me and didnt look back. I was left in complete shock, but honestly now I know that this woman simply wasnt mentally healthy enough to be with due to her depression, drug use and very negative and narcissistic tendencies. I'm lucklily in a much better place today

"SHE MET SOMEONE ELSE OR SHE GOT BACK WITH AN EX" IS THE MAIN REASON 95% OF THE TIME.

Good video, I definitely fall on the side of words being important, it’s amazing how little discussion of terms goes on around this subject which is strange because so much of the process is developing and deepening our understanding of the terms. Not saying the word is the thing of course but words are hugely powerful. Personally I see enlightenment, realisation and awakening as the same thing but as you say only an authentic awakening will clear this stuff up for the practitioner :)

Fascinating. One more reason why I'm glad I'm at an age/place where I don't have to deal with this. An "ick list," really? If I found out someone was compiling a list of minor flaws on me, I'd drop her immediately...if not sooner. I agree completely about the concept of "closure." If it's over, and it didn't land you in divorce court, *it's over.* It doesn't matter why... sometimes she sincerely couldn't even put it into words. Oftentimes, people are looking for a list of reasons so they can "sell" continuing the relationship. They're going to "overcome objections..." winding up being strung along, used, and feeling even worse after having performed the 12 Labors of Hercules (major simping) and still gettin' dumped. Don't do it. Move on, live life. And don't be a backup plan. If she comes back, her first choice didn't work out. You're a place holder til she meets someone she likes, she's looking, and when she finds him... she'll "just want to be friends" again. Send her on her way (FTR, I'm aware that guys do this. My perspective is that of an oldish man who didn't date dudes, 😂) Last... I like your channel, "CR!" You're very wise. You're not, like, a 2000 years old and very well disguised, are you?😏😍

This has happened 3 times this year. Had great conversations and thought there was something then nothing.

It's so sad to see these ladies keeps on coming up with things that will keep them single for good. First, it was a job, a car and a house was good enough for a man to find a woman, then need a high value men, then the 6 6s and now the ick list. The pool of men is getting smaller by the day and they don't even know it. Also they only have a limited supply of eggs in a lifetime. Their only/primary traits that attract men is also a limited time offer. Their philosophy of men is also discouraging them to look at a brighter side of things so it will help them be more positive and help them select a man. Please ladies you are digging yourself a very very deep hole and pretty soon no one will get you out of it. The trends are already showing in a negative direction. SMH. Great video!

I don't usually comment, but I want to let you know that your content is so helpful and encouraging. I've been single for a long time now (not gonna get into it). But, It's really nice to know there are genuine women out there who do want a life long partner, and it gives me hope that I will find the person I can share my life with and have someone that I can take on life with as a team. Just wanted to leave a positive comment, and a thank you.

you really did help me get over this 1 girl, thank you so so much courtney!

Women are truly flooded with attention.....on the rare occasions i do get 'a swipe' on a dating app they either unmatch me instantly, never message me and if i message them first they ignore me. I don't know if this is the same with other guys ? Anyway i went full monk, can't be arsed with women.

That's why in this case for security reasons to always have a back up and then some. Dating one girl and hoping it's going to work because you are in to her is not always a must. Dating quite a few hot women sure helps. This way your not upset when the first girl loses interest. You move on and take it as it's her loss. 😁

Courtney I could listen to you all day

the amount of options women have is crazy! the problem is also made worse by social media and dating apps