Diannah Clem Warrior Princess , still waiting for him to say something useful. You can't change human nature and dating is all about bullshit and sex. The sooner women realize this the better. When you go out with a guy he will say anything to have his way with you. Women need to be strong. Period.
Men don’t do this stuff. Narcissists do it. No way to counter it, other than leave, leave, leave. RUN from any guy doing any of this stuff. 1. Hooks you. A narcissist can only hook you if you were abused as a child. A healthy woman would never be hooked by this kind of cheap trickery. She would instinctively feel disgusted by his mental illness. 2. Tells you what you want to hear. This is again, only what womanisers do. And yes, ladies you have to learn to see through this. Narcissists are evil liars. A healthy man would not compulsively lie to another person in crucial issues. 3. Blow his own cover. If you call a guy out on being a player, you have to leave immediately. If you stay you are telling him by your actions that you are ok with his bad behavior. Don't be fooled. And again, with a healthy man, you know you wouldn't need to call him a player....Healthy men don't think it's a fun game to deliberately destroy other people. 4. Good Investment. This is called “love bombing” and it is also something only narcissists do. A healthy man does not bullshit a woman. And yes, you should totally RUN for your life if this starts to happen. It's a red flag. 5. Takes advantage of your weaknesses. Again, this is NOT somehting a healthy man would engage in. Only a manipulative, predatory liar suffering from narcissistic personality disorder would think this way. You NEED to educate yourselves in how to tell who is a narcissistically disturbed man and PROTECT YOURSELF from them!!!! They are DANGEROUS INDIVIDUALS. As mentioned, women only fall for this type of evil man if they are traumatised. Healthy women would never continue a conversation with a narcissist. At least it’s good to hear a Elliot Scott be honest about his shady, manipulative game methods. Helps us to stay awake to the red flags of mentally disturbed men. Narcissists and womanisers DESTROY their victims deliberately and they enjoy the process. Healthy men get no pleasure out of destroying other people.
Lisa Thank you a lot Lisa. You are absolutely right. Women should not tolerate this kind of behaviour and should be more educated because they need to protect themselves from these evil creatures. NPD is real and a very serious issue especially in this generation. I am saying that because my ex narc tried to kill me and then tried to reach out to me. It was a very scary experience and it took me over a year to understand what happened and heal at the same time. These monsters will manipulate until the day they die believe me. Thank you very much for sharing your informative comment 😄
Agree 100%. are you a survivor of abuse? i'm recovering from my covert narc. they are truly evil people and that's the thing, we see the red flags but they make us doubt ourselves so well it's almost surreal.
This healthy woman believed a narcissist. He was Mr. PERFECT. 14 months of being imprisoned in his house and needing to be rescued out of there caused my trauma, not some random imaginary abuse as a child. Narcs are wonderful manipulators and they can deceive anyone--even healthy women. It took me 5 years of recovery, and now I have a wonderful man who loves me.
Yea that's all true.. but remember this is a video about guys who are TAKING ADVANTAGE of someone.. so it obviously applies to all narcissists, but also to any immature douche bag who's not serious about dating!
Girls need to learn game as well. Stay emotionally detached and give NOTHING, until he has invested enough, financially. That's the game, or at least the start.
J OneLife well just imagine he had invested NO-THING and you had given your all...it'd feel worse. If he has invested you can call it even or nearly even and move on more easily.
The good ones are getting sick of being used or blown off, and either learn how to mind game women or give up. If a guy with normal income isn't an 8-10 in a picture, he usually never even gets a chance. The ones that do get chances usually are a shoe in, so why would they bother being decent? Remember that "Like bias"?
Elliot, I think you're a smart guy. I've watched a lot of your videos. But I went on 3 dates and tried to "get the damn date" a fourth time. It only pushed him away. Don't men like to chase? He said it was going too fast. Mind you I'm the first woman he's dated since his divorce (only happened two months ago) anyways I'm confused now bc I built value etc but it seemed once I tried to increase time together he freaked.
Whitney Morgan. Please, give up on that man! You will waste your time and sanity. Recente divorced men are usually emocionally unavailable. He will use you as a rebound to get over his ex. I know because i walked away from one, after six months of pain and lack of commitment. Broken-heart...
J One Life. Yes, I know that, but it's really hard to find those 2 yrs single men at 40s... And some are very convincing, especially on online dating. I've learnt my lesson the hard way. Nevermore! Although it may depends on each situation.
If a guy acts like this, look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder or sociopathy/psychopathy. Good men don't do this to women. It's a mind fuck and it's cruel. A healthy relationship shouldn't involve games.
So do men study how to hurt and manipulate women? How would they be so good at this? Taken advantage of someone's weaknesses after you emotionally manipulate them. Sounds like Sociopathic behavior but guys like to call this "the game"! Is it truly a game if you have to manipulate the other person who has no idea this is a game she suppose to try to beat? I know your being helpful Elliot we appreciate it but really this "game" isn't it rather sick when you think about it?!
Men need to manipulate us to have sex. Most men are only ready for a relationship once they are financially stable, that means later in life when they become over 50 years old. How old was George Cluny when he got married? See..?
Amira s I know Narcissist abuse (NPD) behaviors all to well. I did not want to flat out call it that, but I'm with you it definitely mimics sociopathic behavior.
Nietzsches Muse You really believe men need to manipulate women to have sex?? WRONG! Their are plenty of loose women willing to give it up for free without manipulation. These videos are for women wanting a relationship, long term commitments. My point is when a man knows he has no intention of settling down with a woman.It is cruel to pretend, lead her on, take advantage of her weakness, only to go cold once he gets what he wants! There is no such thing as a NEED to hurt or manipulate. It is down right cruel!
Men have two lists 1. Women they’ll sleep with and this list has hundreds of names 2. Women they’ll date this list has around 5 names Women on the other hand usually won’t sleep with a man she would NOT be in a relationship with. That’s the difference between men and women. No most men aren’t out too intentionally hurt women. It’s a woman’s job however to distinguish between the men who want a serious relationship and men who want to just hook up. Just keep your legs closed girls time usually tells.
I can't remember the study but men can fake their personality for up to 3 years before they make significant mistakes and their real selves poke through
Another thing, just because some ppl are married does not mean they are happy, many marriages are done by their benefits not by real love! So you will never know who is truly happy or not! Life is complicated.....
Wait, what? If a guy is not attracted to me, it's my fault? LOL. I might want to find another dating coach....that's just silly talk. Getting angry at a guy for not being attracted is also silly. Move on. That's it.
I'm so glad I don't date, seriously, it's too exhausting. The games, control their jealousy, the stalking. (Not all men). Thanks Elliot I enjoy your videos, confirms I'm dodging bullets. I've never understood ppl who have to be in a relationship or f buddy friend just to legitimise their existence.
What I have learnt is, don't give your power away, stayed detached, a lot of games getting played these days, don't need a man to complete you, if u choose one, they are addition to your life
All the motivation to raise my son to love himself and others, have respect for himself and others. If you do not raise your young boys to aspire to self respect and marriage, then yes they will be headaches to you, themselves, and others.
the best thing us girls can do now is to work on ourselves. Work hard pursue a career , study and get smarter. Then when we're wealthy get ourselves a pet boy whom to string along and throw some money at.
There are some guys who want you to fall for them. It's a conquest for them and they are either too scared to join in, or they just want to do it all over again. Your best defense is to go ahead and fall for them but to accept that these guys are out there. Its ok to love someone but leave them. No shame in that. Keep yourself available for the right man.
Why do you want to keep a guy interested if he pulls away? Let him go. I like your advice but really, I wouldn't encourage women to try to pull a guy back in.
Thanks for explaining the DOUCHE to me yet again. It is not a woman's job to chase a man or lower her standards to keep a man. But even when a man chase and try to win a woman over, he can be a SNAKE! I will love myself and respect myself even more from now on. Putting my shield UP!!!
I learn lately that it is better not to have sex with a guy cause then I feel emotionally less invested n more in control for I am trying to study myself around him to learn do I like this guy? Do I really want this person in my life? Is his idea of a relationship anything that would benefit me? Or just him? Guys can be very self-serving.
J OneLife I am sorry for what has happen to you. Try to heal from this guy n then meet someone else. Don't give up. Write down all the red flags this last guy gave you. This way you may avoid another player in the future.
J OneLife Try to work out and focus on your passion and making and keeping your friends or make new friends. I find it is when I focus on my passions that I radiate joy thus I can get any man I want. Don't date just one guy try dating several this way you can pick the one that earn your atention, care, love etc... Make them earn you as a gf. You can allwqys adopt kids or have fetilisation treatments to get pregnant. Don't give up. The right guy will.be consistent n genuine. Email me gataoxum@gmail.com
Woah, wait a second - "If a guy doesn't like you, that's not his fault, it's YOUR fault?" What's with the guilt trip you're laying on women? Why does it have to be anyone's "fault?" Some people will like you, some won't. Why lay blame like that? Does it have to do w/playing on women's insecurities & hooking women to buy your books & pay for coaching on "how to attract a guy?" Maybe he's not as much of a "reformed" player as he claims to be - see #3 (blowing cover)! LOL. In fact, I can actually see points #1-5 of this guy's manipulation strategy playing out in this very video.
I don’t think you should take it that personal. He is just responding to a topic and some women do need to hear is their fault the guy is not attracted because they won’t take a no for an answer. It’s just being straight forward to get the bigger picture.
And that's actually a good thing! Next time u see a player, u know the red flags and just leave! There's no need any drama when I keep my peace internally
I was seeing a guy who took advantage of me knowing that I had recently lost my mother and was feeling very vulnerable. I told him I was not in a place where I want to be involved but he badgered me until I gave in. Now 18 months later, he’s decided that he wants space and doesn’t want ‘this’ anymore. I felt sick to my stomach.
@Barbarella Bravin similar situation but I never had sex with him but he kept begging me but thank god I didn’t give in . He took advantage of me because I wasn’t sexually experienced smh he claimed to be Christian and love god and go to church he used to talk to me a lot about god which makes the situation worse because he suppose to be a good Christian guy.
So basically in a nut shell we should just sit back and watch the show without being sucked into it emotionally and view dating the way men do like shopping. Then we won't get burned as many times. I actually am easily sucked in so this all makes perfect sense. And men young old whatever would do what is natural but we don't need to be automatically sucked in nor take offense unless it guess excessively gamey and manipulative.
some men will tell you what they want straight away even if it comes off as coming on strong. some guy's just know what they want so they go for the kill with good intentions.
I have been friends with this guy for over two years and I told him I liked him a year ago. He told me he didn't want a relationship, but he keeps bringing it up and he keeps apologizing for not wanting to be in a relationship because he doesn't want to ruin anything we have if we got into a relationship. We have had this conversation at least 5 times.
So I was with a guy off and on for nearly a year. He broke my heart and basically I found out that he constantly lied to me and had another girl...now we are done and I am trying to move on he is trying to make contact by adding me on Snapchat and talking to me about things I like. It's like what the hell!!
"If you have some insecurity, he takes advantage of that" " If you have some other issue, he takes advantage of that" In my mind I am thinking what kind of a piece of shit is he, to do that. I would happily be single and miserable than this. Honestly completing Engineering was more easier than this.
Hey Elliot. I just want to tell you that you're one of my favorite coaches here on RU-vid and your advice is on point and you keep it fucking real. I have worked on my confidence, my life , over the past few years and recently I met a man on tinder LOL. I know I was in my feminine energy and I never displayed any red flags because I was truly confident and was willing to lose him if he didn't treat me the way I know I deserved. I never had to suppress anything because I never truly was desperate. All your advice revolves on just being an authentic confident feminine woman. If you are truly that from the inside you will never have to play games or suppress anything. I now have a man that treats me like royalty. Thanks you!!
Lol so basically u tryna say it's all a pretending game. So if he invests in me, says nice stuff (what I want to hear) etc etc it might be just a game. Lollll I guess nowadays it's all about playing mind games cus even if you as a girl think he s truly interested he might be bulls hitting you. As my girl cici said in 2007 "ladies..I think it's time to switch roles"😎
I don't think all the guys are bad. I think a lot of this if you put on positive spin on is how man is wired to go after a woman. A good guy will use it for good and bad one will use it for "evil". I remember some of these steps when I first started dating my ex. We ended up getting married. He was pursuing because he knew I was a decent person and he really wanted to be married and have kids.
I love your video Elliot!!! You are so funny, authentic and raw, you help us to understand guys behavior so much better. I am on online dating for a while, yes, lots of game players out there, and sometimes we get so lost what does that mean what does this mean. Your videos gave us a lot of the answers!!!! Love you and love you to bits!!! Thank you!
Very helpful; I dated a guy for about 5 years. He was so nice so I didn't test it much and the mistake was mine. Yes, I believe you should put time into a guy to see what he's really like but what I had was a chameleon. Told me what I wanted to hear. Over time as we went to a wedding, and friends were getting engaged. No ring. Waited hoping maybe over Christmas, no ring. His older brother married, no ring for me. I finally brought the subject up and the answers I got were very disturbing. He had taken every bad thing he'd ever heard about other people's relationships, and I was the one paying for it. I remember being sick to my stomach not understanding what was really going on. I had done nothing but been dedicated to him, always available for him, supportive of him, and the negativity , paranoia that came back to me. He never let it out how he really felt and was so fake for years. I thought things were so great, and I couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. I had to break up with him a few weeks after that, and I remember him getting worse, scary, throwing accusations at me as I said "I can't see you anymore". At this point, I never did anything but always be there for him, and this was the way he felt.
How does one differentiate the guy that isn't putting all this work in in order to win you over because hes not as interested vs the guy that simply isn't playing any games?
I've noticed that these tactics are used by you and others in their videos, I find it interesting that you admit you used to be this way and if you see how these tactics help you in your videos
If a guy doesn't like me it's my fault? Elliot, excuse me, but you've never said anything more hurtful and ridiculous. If a guy doesn't like me, it's nobody's fault. It either happens, or it doesn't. You can't force somebody to like you.
Oh I agree 100%. I am just coming from the perspective that guys get a lot of bullshit for him not liking the girl. it's like, "Well, you're the one who didn't attract him or peak his interest." I agree with you though. It's no one's fault per say but if you did have to put the blame, I'd say it's the person who has the interest and wants to win the person over. It's just like sales. If you're looking to buy a car or product and I can't convince you to buy the car or product, that isn't your fault. It's the salesman. A lot of women would then argue, "well why am I the one who has to peak his interest and chase?" for that I will attached something I sent to another viewer: "As for a woman trying to get a guy's interest, you don't have to do shit lol. Fuck that guy who cares about him. I don't. But you do. When you care about something, you care about the outcome. You're the one who wants him and desires him. If that is the case, you're the one who is looking for results. Just because you like a guy doesn't mean he needs to fall in line or that you deserve him. No. If you like him and want him to like you, you need to get him to like you. It's simple as that. Yes, if you're chasing and want to peak his interest, then you have to put in the work. You can't get mad at him for not doing it lol. Maybe he's just not that into you or doesn't care about the outcome as much." Again, I agree with you 100% but a woman can't say it's no one's fault and then get mad at the guy for not liking her or wanting to commit. The act of getting mad over that is essentially putting blame on that person. Because if it's nobody's fault and they "truly can't help it" then why is she mad when the whole thing is out of their control? Now if she is mad because the guy is an asshole that is a different story. But that isn't what we are talking about here.
Thank you, Elliot, for the clarification. I don't think I ever raised the issue of weather a girl is mad or not if a guy doesn't like her. But it was a valuable clarification on your part. I presume girls become 'mad' for not being liked not because they want to put the blame, but because they are sad things didn't turn out according to their likings. Or at least that is how I feel when ruled out. I am not blaming anybody, just feeling sad. But thank you, once again.
Dang your dropping some knowledge, I love this because I learned so much thank you,I'm new to your channel and I'm already a big fan,Just started watching today 🤗😆😆
Elliot...You are a magical being sent from the Angels, Thank you for your insight and the tip on the 25 cognitive biases because that is some good brain food! Blessings to you!
the way I see it is if a guy See's you have a lot of options yeah he'll take advantage but in a good way not a bad way a woman that has a lot of options and a guy wants her he is not going to beat around he's going to move fast and serious because there is just much competition.
This one guy I thought understood me he would talk to me about things I was going through I thought he was also going through Got me to talk about my life turns out he was ease dropping on me and my sister's talking I heard a lot of different guys tell me I'm different I'm not like your ex's this guy would buy me drink's never asked him to my brain yelling at me get your act together remember your not looking for a relationship
Elliot! Video Idea. Can you do a flip to this video about how to use those ways men take advantage, to maybe not have a reaction or how to use it to our advantage
I use online dating to have fun... that is to laugh at guys there. I mean... Who really uses dating sites and apps to find a marriage material there? This is crazy.
One thing should be clear: There are women online who just want to increase their chances. They are not desperate or „prequalified“, even though men assume it all the time. They are able to easily spot the players and the guys who just want to get in their pants (basically all). But they make the rules. If a guy gets obvious, they instantly call them out, friendzoning them in the very same second and telling those guys how it bores them since they can have sex anytime they want, if they wanted it. Of course you have to be your best self, meaning you have to look as good as you possibly can. This gives you the power to make them jump as high as you want and play with their minds. In the first step. In the second, the most important, which can be also used when you interact with the guy in real life on a regular basis, you catch him by playing by your own rules. Being independent, warm, nice, interested in his stuff and many other things, but not giving a damn about what he does when he pulls away for you have your own, much more interesting life.
It's called the guy is a bold faced lier who is also a bad lier. Sex is not a weapon. However I am sick and tired of games and massively disgusted to trick me into having sex. Using people exploiting people lying to people is so cowardly and extremely unattractive. I'm sorry I hold my cards close to my chest. Sick Disrespectful behavior. I don't need anyone that bad! Blah so normal
The top comments in all these videos is always: if I have to play these games I’m done. Lol literally so dismissive, and yet if the tables are turned it’s “how dare he walk away just cause I’m a little indecisive and emotionally immature sometimes” Be glad that u are atleast aware of the game and use to ur advantage. I don’t understand why these types of women continue to click on videos like these... the title literally reflects you know what kind of guys this video is aimed towards addressing: players pretty much... so yeah go watch an ultra alpha male oriented video, but otherwise the reality is that most guys/ the average guys have a mindset and tendencies such as the ones that this guy is describing: the player type pretty much. I know it’s not the fairy tale we want to hear but it is what it is...and the truth is that these guys behaviors and attitudes stem predominantly from insecurity or chauvinism . It is what it is.
Some people take advantage of others... I've seen women do it just as men do. It is not gender specific. But it certainly behooves men to let women think it's just men to keep women fearful and powerless. Thankfully many women are smarter than that and those smart women find the good men who are willing to share equal responsibility in a relationship and who disregard manipulative game players, man or woman
Wow, this is like a script. The man who pulled this on me self-identifies as a very wise, thoughtful and good person! And yet for all of his emotional awareness, all of his social, linguistic and emotional intelligence, for all of his theologies and philosophies - he just manipulated and used me. Do they feel guilt Elliot? How do they rationalise being so shabby?.
Hello Elliot! Should the guy who thinks he is not worth you because of financial reasons/status be convinced?(a friend and class fellow who sometimes seem to be interested and sometimes not)..... and what kind of men women should not marry?
