I was told a story once about a man who lived on an island and every day he would go out in his little boat and fish and sell what he could and take the rest home to his family. A business man came to him and told him, ' you know if you increased your boats you could have more workers and bring in more fish and sell more and make more money and then you could have a company. And once it got to a certain size you could get bigger boats go out farther into the ocean get more fish and really have a fishing industry right here.' So the fisherman ask the businessman when would I get time to fish and enjoy it and relax? And the businessman said well once you have enough Boats & have enough money coming in you'll be able to take a vacation on an Island and just relax and enjoy your fishing. The fisherman looked at the businessman I said I'm way ahead of you I'm already there
@@sarah6557 it doesn't take that much time to type if you know how. Its a story, can't abbrev that.(I'm an accountant btw). But thanks for expressing who you really are...
What the fisherman did not tell you was that the government was desperate for tax dollars and levied a boating, environmental and gaming license fees. If he does not pay asap he will be barred from fishing. Unfortunately, after paying taxes he has little money left to insure and license his boat. Unable to opperate at his coastal town, he drives three hours south to another town, where the quality of fish is poor. The long drive takes a toll on his car, where it breaks down. In order to fix his car, he needs 200$ for a water pump and 400$ for a radiator. This is after he pays 600$ to have his car towed back to his village. When the fisherman fails to pay the mooring fees to harbor master, he loses his boat. The fisherman who spent most of his days in unpreparedness is now unable to support his family. His wife divorces him. Now he sings a completely different tune "Money can buy happiness"
I actually cried for Nick. That poor boy doesn't know what it's like to be a regular teenager. Hanging out with friends, etc. Some kids have actually committed suicide because they couldn't handle all of that stress from high expectations of their parents. So sad!
I just thought it'd to much for you kids to workout doing what parents want you need time to relax you mind and think about what you really want to become
Both of my brothers took their own lives for the same reason. I have been diagnosed with cptsd from severe childhood trauma and abuse. I struggle with the thoughts sometimes, but one therapist put it in my head that death is final so why not stick out life until the end .... THAT was and still is my saving grace. ❤
Oftentimes, those same people lose their drive to exercise throughout the rest of their lives because of their unnecessarily stressful experiences with sports as kids. It's not as if the parents are a shining example of fitness. Moderation = longer duration. Extremes = burnout. They are burning them out too early. Those parents might think they are smart, but clearly not.
exactly poor nick hes got to miserable and thats what makes kids run off track. And do stupid stuff show support and help them of course but you should never be their main reason they are stressed out! putting too much pressure on them.
I'm so confused. How is that overweight sloppy looking father pressuring his kids in sports when he looks like he couldn't make it to 1st base in a game?
I was thinking the same about his wife. She’s not in the physical shape that she thinks she is. Or that she could be, for being as active as she claims.
Lot of times, it's how their parents were with them, and their portraying what was expected of them, but now that they're adults they get to be the lazy controlling one. Bad, bad cycle of awful parenting. It happens on my in laws side too. Went from parent to kid and now I see the kids growing up, I get worried.
Now this IS women helping and uplifting other women. I loved how they listened to each other and took each others advice and observations to heart without feeling attacked or less than. Brainstorming together to uplift the kids was a beautiful sight. Great job ladies! Great job. Criticism isn't easy to hear, these ladies BOTH took it like champs and THAT is the way it should be so we can bring up awesome humans.
It could have actually been an example to that jackass pushing his teen son to a mental, physical and emotional psychiatric breakdown that there is more than one way to BECOME A FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL PERSON. BUT MORE SO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE. YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE AND PROFESSION THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU; IT CAN SIMULTANEOUSLY BE ONE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS, LOVE & JOY, AND STILL BE FINANCIALLY SECURE. There is more than one way to walk the path to success.
Cutting your eggs while driving..... what kind of idiot does that, doesn't make you look great because you are so busy that you have to eat your breakfast on the go. It makes you look very irresponsible, great way to cause an accident!!
When she said something about the boy being 15 but looking like he's stressed as a 30-year-old with several responsibilities... It truly reminded me of myself and how I grew up. It is very sad honestly when a kid is forced to mentally/physically grow up too soon and have their whole childhood taken away. Then people wonder why there's more adult children running around... It's cause they had to wait until they were finally grown and on their own before they could live out their childhood behaviors.
Precisely. That poor kid 😢 although both sides were extreme. I know my kids had kid time but education was important and they never broke they followed their own path. We nurtured their dreams so they could be who they wanted
Cold hearted truth I completely agree with you. Michael Jackson is a prime example of an adult that didn’t get a childhood and look at how he has been treated and look how he lived his life while not touring. He truly was a kid at heart
A lot of people see the dad of the competitive family as very cold and standoff-ish, but honestly that's how many dads were from what I experienced growing up, from the friends houses that I visited. Some more than others, but yea, it was somewhat like this in most the households I saw as a kid.
Because they obviously live in the Laguna Beach area of South Orange County and probably bought their house for $700,000. I raised up my kids in Mission Viejo and Lake Forest which is like 10 minutes away from Laguna Beach and I couldn’t wait to get out I left California in 2008 and now I can afford to live and I’m not paying double the amount for gas. I’d rather not be stressing out every month trying to pay for a house that isn’t worth $700,000
The business mom was great and so was the other one. They both did some good for the other family. Why are you guys beating up “the business” mom? She was actually pretty great.
wow....people who push kids too hard, find out that their kids end up rebelling!!! let them be kids for awhile for crying out loud!!! ' The way he pushed Nick to drop his home work and lift weights for "the cameras to see how great they are" and not caring that it was clear that the poor kid is way over tierd is like a form of child abuse!! My heart truly goes out to that poor kid as I know to a point how he feels...I had it with my mother and now we live maybe 15 min apart and I have not seen or talked to her in 21 years!!
Exactly and then some parents wander why their kids want nothing to do with them,check yourself before you check your kids...,dont ever make a nother individual feel like theyre not good enough especially if that individual is living with you and not by their own choice, you dont have children for yourself having kids is a natrual part of life and so is letting them do their own exssistanse,hate power hungry adult hitlers
I'm so sorry that you had an experience growing up, but I hope you know that every parent wants the best for their kids they just dont know how best to go about it. I dont know the details surrounding your relationship with your mom, but reach out to her. Whether you like it or not she is a part of who you are and who you became. See, my mom doesnt remember a lot of moments of my childhood due to a medical condition and instead my mom has violent outbursts but I stand with her and its awfully difficult. Theres times where we talk about times that were important to me like learning to ride a bike, going to school for the first time and she doesnt remember, it hurts. I would give anything for my mom to come back so please reach out to your mom and say hi. Trust me it will do you good.
@@corianne2099 I truly understand where you are coming from and what you are saying, as well I am happy for you that you have been able to connect with your mother on some level. However, not every mother does care and sometimes the hurt caused is too great and will only cause more harm than good to go back to, I lived in that harm for over 50 years. I have been able to move past what she has done to me yet, what she has done to my 4 children.... well lets just say... you hurt me it's one thing, you hurt my children.... it's a hole different ball game! One I just won't put my children thru any more. I wish her no harm, but when it took 50 years to get to where I am... I am not willing to go there any more. Sometimes in life, we just have to live with the consequences of our actions. I appreciate your kind words and hope you and your loved ones and safe in this difficult and scary time.
@@jewelz3179 Thank you for your kindness, and I do agree with you. I have been able to get to where I know that what I have been through has made me who I am today. It took me a long time and some hard work... and I can honestly say for the first time in my life, that I do like who I am. It sounds like you may have some understanding of this yourself. Please keep yourself and those you love safe while we go through this crazy time! :0)
I liked how both moms were both very introspective with the feedback they were given. And they were both able to pinpoint exactly what issue needed the most attention at the moment in each family. I liked all the parents except for the sports dad. He was quite arrogant and found him to be quite disrespectful to the emotional needs of others.
I liked both families also especially all the kids. But yes, the O.C. dad made those derisive little "cartoon" expressions, as if he was an adolescent girl, whenever the NorCal mom said things that he judged to be abnormal according to his lifestyle. That's not very facilitating to his guest, nor manly...
Sports dad displayed narcissist traits in that everyone else was there to feed his narcissism. Because of the narcissists inability to connect in a healthy way with another person, he uses a system of relating that is created in order for the narcissist to take care of himself. Instead of healthy connection, a narcissist seeks for narcissistic supply.
amen any relation to pam n dave keith btw??? anyway spot on what u say perrie was very awk and not in it alot so i dunno waht i think of her but cool name annd seems at the time they were all in cali , but it looks like online the orange county 1 never was i was sure that was cali there must be more then 1 i wish we woulda seen the other parnts bond more or all of them 4 that matter ,esp because most of it wasnt awk
I really think nick wanted to put the best mom ever on that card, but he gave the answer best said on tv knowing is mom was gonna see it. That boy looked like a stressed out 35yr old. At some point this type of parenting can go to far, and be a form of abuse.
The irony is that the Naudin kid ended up owning his own video production company. Can't find any info about the Allen kid, other than that the parents are still doing the same type of work and he and his siblings are alive and well.
@@chelenaudin33good for you man. It's awesome y'all are doing big things! I always think about the kids in these videos and I'm glad you are doing well
Both of these families were so kind and respectful to the visiting mothers and the mothers were of each other at the meeting. While they were very different types of families, different values and lifestyles, I think they learned from each other. I loved that they connected with each other's sons. This was one of the most lovely episodes of this show I've seen. :)
So glad I have chill parents who are just happy I'm happy. I chilled throughout my school years, I'm happily married, good job, no money worries, great friends, and living how I want. I consider myself lucky.
Same here I'm especially grateful bc I found out at 14 that I'm chronically ill because of the pressure school gave me (not my parents). I think if my parents would've pressured me aswell my illness would've started waayyy earlier and I wouldn't have any memories of being active physically. I'm so glad that I can be comfortable around my parents
We didn’t have much going on. We went to school, practice, and enjoyed our childhoods for the most part. Our personalities worked better with the strictness of my parents.
@@chelenaudin33 That’s all you knew that’s how you were raised from baby all the way up that’s how you were raised you didn’t know any other way until that other mother came in the door
I found it difficult to get the pay according to my knowledge and experience compared to the qualification certificates that are ptefered to just interview me! It would of made my life easier if I had a piece of paper from a college! I later did get a community college certificate just for the sake of it looking more legit on my resume. The courses I've done in my field are pathetic! And the young people being employed with Higher Education qualifications are not taught anywhere near the reality of the workplace! I had to train several people a little younger than I and was shocked at all the complaining they did! At the end of the day, the were very smart as they would say "no" or "I don't know how to do this" when they did and could! I thank them for teaching me to value my time and experience where I stopped doing the work of two full-time people on a part-time position! I'm greatful my negative judgement let me learn!
Did I miss something? The daughters on both sides were totally ignored. The boys on both sides are sweet but Messed up AF to not acknowledge the girls.
Nick buying that coffee maker and leaving that card was one of the best parts of this program , he didn't have to do that. No idea what became of Nick but I'm thinking he's probably doing just fine.
Kids aren’t you. A kid should be working towards what they want not what you want. I can’t imagine being that busy at the age of 15. school isn’t for everybody and money isn’t everything. Why put the kid through all that pressure. Then people wonder why some lose it. This is a boot camp not a family.
For everyone who bases their self-worth solely on your accomplishments...BE CAREFUL. I did that, an illness took away my ability to achieve, and now I fight to find reasons to live.
You know the saying When one door closes another will open. Well if you are still looking back at what you lost you will miss what is coming at you. Make peace with your past and use that illness to open a new door.
The same thing happened to my daughter and I'm first saying. Prayers are going up for you 🙏🏾. You still have so many things to find Joy in and many reasons to live. And when one door is closed, open another,if there's no more doors. Go for the windows. Meaning DON'T QUIT!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT BEAUTIFUL ❤️
I've been there myself. I was about to achieve my ultimate dream and illness snatched it away 3 weeks before reaching the goal. It's taken me over 10 yrs to finally find something else that I can do that actually makes me MORE happy now than I was with all the hard work and accolades under my belt. I hope you've been well 1st of all, and 2nd, I hope you've found your something new that makes you happier than the 1st! It's hard for others to understand when they've never been there, but this definitely hit home for me because I've walked a very similar path. I can't say it's the same because small nuances make each person's experiences specific to their own situation. But overall, I can say I know how you feel. Be blessed, love! And I hope you're feeling well right now all things considered.
That family needs to ease up I can tell u first hand just like Nick I'm 15yrs old I'm in all AP classes and I try my best but all that pushing needs to stop. Also the other family needs to push a little harder like I said I can relate to both these kids I use to not be advanced and I use to struggle but its never to late to fix things. You can do anything u just have to try your best.
@@amberrose1108 its alright I'm doing much better now still in all AP I still struggle a little in math but I'm working through it I might even get to graduate high school early, when I start
Excellent example of what success means to different people. For me, success is found in loving relationships, following ones dreams and passions, and yes, staying focused, but also having fun and building as many beautiful memories as you can! Happiness is found in harmony and balance.
It seems like every set of parents on this show are either one extreme or the other. They’re either extremely strict or extremely lax... if the strict families toned it down a little and the lax families stepped up then they would all be great family units.
There is a fine line between motivating your children, and pushing them too hard. This family crosses that line daily. Being productive, playing sports and being fit/healthy are great for children, but stress can be very unhealthy and make the brain not process as well. So doesn't that defeat the purpose of pushing them that hard?
Tom needs to recognize that his children can still be creative, free spirits, nature lovers etc But ALSO they need to learn a paying skill so they can be functioning adults who can pay their bills and support themselves. You can be both.
I just wonder when the demanding, obsessive parents are on their deathbed are they going to be soooo glad that they were busy every single second of every day? What did they REALLY accomplish? And what memories did they leave their kids with? Memories of mom and dad constantly pushing, and criticizing and telling you to do better? That's the legacy you want to leave your kids? Did any of the things they fought and clawed and constantly strove for even matter? The best quote I've EVER heard "Why do we float thru this weird thing called life without living? Live life and don't simply exist" That's from The Professor starring Johnny Depp. EXCELLENT MOVIE if you get a chance to see it!!
I loved that in the end the moms weren't too proud to see some changes that could be made in their households and they were able to have a nice meeting with eachother.
When you OVER pressure your CHILDREN.. That's when, "out of nowhere".. They SNAP!!! They snap under the heavy weight of... what their parents pile on them... They lose it sooner or later!!! They become BURNED OUT... as kids!!! My heart broke for Nick!! That made me sad. Your children should Always feel as tho they can come to you In. All. Ways. and talk to you about anything!! I feel like what BOTH families need is #BALANCE!!!
I think the business sport loving parents weren’t that bad . They simply want their kids to achieve big aspirations however if they put as much energy into checking in on their mental health and giving them more freedom/downtime ,as they did on getting them to practice on time, their 15 y/o wouldn’t have crippling anxiety and stress . They need a simple healthy balance. For instance less chores or none at all when they’re home bc they’re already slammed with sports and being pushed to get all A’s. Their is a landslide of a difference between *pushing* your kids and *helping* your kids
The difference is whose goals are being pursued. If you kid wants something, its great to encourage them and push them to keep trying and not give in to setbacks. But its another thing entirely when you expend all that effort to get your kids to meet YOUR goals, that maybe they couldn't care less about.
My parents were strict, but I owe them everything for the life I now have. They didn’t have parents who had the time or the energy to focus on their children. Every parent does the best they can and I am thankful for mine.
Every single kid I went to school with who had parents like Nick's, are now alcoholics, bulimics, (a couple are both), and drug addicts. The same goes for the absent parents who had absolutely no expectations of their kids. There's a massive middle ground. It's not like a fine line. Don't be extreme either way, and your kids will excel. They'll be happy and choose paths that fulfill them. Don't plan their lives for them, but don't leave them alone constantly, either. Parenting is so much easier when you recognize this balance. Be involved, not controlling. Rest is necessary, not a sign of weakness. Fun and friendship are key, just know who their friends and the parents are. Teach them to smell the roses along the way, but always have a destination. Love your children WITHOUT CONDITION. And if you even think they may not know, make sure you tell them that nothing they do or do not do will ever make you stop loving them.
I definitely agree. I think the hardest part about balance and why so many lack it is because it takes alot of self reflection. You have to pick out your weaknesses and flaws as well as your childrens which can be extremely difficult for most people so they tend to just avoid it all together.
its so cool that both moms saw they had the same issue in their families in the opposite directions. its how to find the balance of life and pressure and passion. It was really cool to see the sons make decisions for themselves and the family respect that when the moms came back home.
Uhm... the way the dad having nick lift those weights will ultimately injure his back and knees and elbows like holy shyt watching him lift them like that urks me beyond belief
Great show, real lessons. As parenrs we can sometimes pass our fears off to our children without realizing it. They will be their own person one day, making their own decisions. Make sure u listen to what they want as well. Cool show!
What's so sad is parents who do the chill thing think they're doing a good thing by letting their child be and not putting pressure on them... Speaking from experience it just ends up feeling like they didn't care to help you achieve your potential and goals. I can see it on that kids face when his mom read "You will go far in life" he liked hearing it vs the "you can do whatever you want" that he usually got. It feels good to get direction from someone who just wants the best for you. It can be done without unreasonable pressure.
This was filmed back in the day when I would skate every single day. Wes clearly was off to a great start with some of his technical tricks. I'm impressed for how old he was. I was 18 when this was filmed. Was extremely reckless and doing very dangerous things back then....if you are young and see this comment. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODIES WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG. Mine was thrashed from 15 years of serious skateboarding. Not made of rubber and magic like I was back then. Lol
Ok, I'm only in the intro and I'm SEETHING over the sports family. How can you push your kids so far and not give them ONE SINGLE WORD of encouragement?!? Kids deserve a little time and space to develop as their own human beings and discover who they are. I feel so, so sorry for those poor kids. I hope that wherever they are now they're happy and away from their parents clutches
Thank you. Unfortunately the show didn’t air the encouragements that our parents give to us. They were very hard on us but it wasn’t like that all the time. We all have great relationships with them.
Oh my goodness, poor Nick. I am a mom of two boys. Both my boys are very smart. My oldest is 21. He said as always on the honor roll in school. Always played sports but also always had the time to be social too. He tried college and decided it wasnt for him. He now has a great job and still has time to live his dream of making music. My youngest son is on the honor roll, he is 16 and polor opposites from his brother but still plays sports and is just happy. I know both of them will be very successful. I have always told both of them to do their best and they can be anything they dream in life. Education is very important but so is being a kid. You don't have to pressure your kids 24/7 to help them be successful. Just encouraging them works. I am very scared for Nick's mental health. He is under so much pressure so young it's scary. Poor kid.
😂 Her face when Tom says it's a full moon tonight. Priceless. You can almost see her brain ticking over.........will I be dancing around naked howling at the moon.......normally what people think when anyone mentions moon gazing.✨
Parents should just realize that kids most cherished memories are not how many or what toys they got or the finger-wagging lectures. They remember all the times mom or dad would go for walks and talking and the times mom would go to the creek or river and go fishing with them - even if there weren't any fish (lol) and all the times sitting on the porch swing telling mom their plans or pretend stories and sitting on the bed, watching it rain and telling their mom or dad what they wanted to be when they grew up... they remember the feeling from those times that they were important and listened to and respected. Their imaginations are fostered and they know they will always have someone in their corner. They remember doing their homework on the porch with mom, learning education and doing chores are important things but only part of their life. They will be achievers and goal oriented because they learn it all as a natural process of growing up but not as a mountain of stress! Kids grow up and the memories they love most are time spent with one parent or the other or both being listened to and feeling loved. My kids still remember laying on a pallet outside at night looking for falling stars and listening to the grass grow - lol - they talk about "digger-hole" lions and making up stories about aliens and being a fireman or what do chefs do and a lot of serious stuff and a lot of nonsense but fun things. They remember they are loved.
If any of this makes you think of your childhood I'm here to tell you you must have had really good parents I myself was not that lucky barely seen my parents
The dad not wanting him not to provide him a higher education scaring him so much of the world.. then looking at the other family the father is deeply overwhelming for any young child. I truly hope both boys find the most productive way in Society as they can. Just hurts to see young teens being broken in two different completely ways.
I always thought the joy of parenting would be to watch children grow and come into their own. Not pressuring them into being what I think they should be. Parents are guides not owners of their offspring.
There should be a balance. In my opinion kids need to have discipline and structure but should be allowed to do what they love to the max. If Wes wants to have a skating video he should make vid and learn how to market and sell it. That being said when Nick said I'm emotionally drained, broken apart, tired just mentally shut down, I just want to give him a hug. He is in the verge of emotional breakdown. His parents as much as they push him to do all these things they should also check him emotionally and take time to show their love, listen, play with him. They should also work around his interest and his desire. His parents thought they gave them everything. Yeah they gave them everything materialistic alright except their love. No wonder these kind of kids end up taking a lot of meds and counseling. I hope they would realize how adorable son they have before it is too late!
It was heartening to see both of these moms taking the advice and opinion of the other mother with grace and introspection. Their families will hopefully be better for it. My heart goes out to Nick, he has so much pressure put upon him. I hope that his family changed that after watching the show.
To me, it seems like the ideal parenting would be somewhere in the middle between these two families. I know to some, the competitive family might come off a cold and callous, but what we see on camera might not be exactly how this family is every minute of the day. And I think its a good thing to be proactive in your kids lives, push them to be successful and to go towards their dreams, but at the same time the parents should be making sure the kids are working towards their own goals, and not the parents goals. The more laid back family does seem more warm and caring, but they might be a little too hands off as far as helping their kids prepare for their future. As nice as it must be for the kids for their parents not to be too intrusive in their lives as far as forcing them to study, practice sports, make perfect grades, work hard, etc., at the same time, kids sometimes need some direction and push. There is a such thing as too much freedom. Firm but fair should be the goal.
Absolutely true - and I think my parents learned a lot from how they were portrayed in these episodes. I can say they loosened up quite a bit over the years!
😳 Goodness. The over-achiever parents need to tread carefully with their children. The comment......."We refuse to lose"........may end up with them losing a child. I know of several similar parents, where child has turned to drugs or worse attempted suicide, under such pressure and expectations.
I know no one wants anyone to criticize them and hard to hear things, but deep down they know changes are good. After they process and review the episodes they can see what each person is saying. And follow up would be great to see if they ever did make any changes
The fact that that boy's dad pulled him off of his vocabulary homework to get in a workout that was so very necessary right?? Yeah right. Way too much pressure on that young boy to keep his performance at a 100%. Hes simply trying to do his homework which is his true "job" right now, being a young man focusing on his schooling, but his dad wants him to wear himself out further right after school and before practice. I hope that sweet boy got to finish his homework.
