Transfer from Home to Care • Assisted Living • Nursing Home || How to Move Person w/ Dementia 

I am currently going through this with my mom. We just had to place her into a nursing home she has dementia and it’s been challenging and very heart breaking. I cry every night. But I know she needs to be looked after 24/7. 🙏🏽

Thank you for this, i have just taken my dear wife to the emergency room per her doctor and now she will be going to a care facility. I am numb now, but im sure once she is settled i know she will be happier.

Everything is hard with this dementia journey! Just do the next right thing!

My mother just passed away 4 days ago while being my father's caregiver. He requires 24/7 care and I am their only child and legally blind, so unable to give him that level of care. She was in the middle of placing him into a home when she passed, and I managed to pick up where she left off, but while my father and I are both trying to grieve, he is also of the mind that I'm mad at him and he's being sent to the memory care facility bc of that. I'm almost having a harder time dealing with how he thinks I'm mad at him than I am with dealing with the loss of my mother, because I'm aware of the eternal rest that she now has from being his primary caregiver while in her 70s. I'm fried. I'm being pulled in every direction and am greatly appreciating finding videos like these to help us better understand, so thank you.

Thank You for your help. I’m exhausted but I reached out to this title bc I need options for the future. I’m grateful

Thank you for this. I watch this video on repeat when I feel the guilt of placing my parents in assisted living. Both my parents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s within weeks of each other. We placed them in a two bedroom assisted living apartment a week ago for their safety (my moms been falling) and due to the diagnosis and future progression. They are definitely going thru transfer trauma, calling daily, saying they are packing and going home. It’s been so hard. Appreciate your videos and will reach out to the support group. Many thanks!

Vickie. Thank you for your kindness and your sweet personality. You are a blessing to us all

What a wonderful video. The knowledge you have about these topics is so very helpful. The Dementia with Grace support group is something that every caregiver needs to check out and see if it is helpful for them! Thank you Vicky!

Thank you for your constant encouragement to families impacted by dementia....My Mother has now been in a memory care facility for over a year. It was a guilt ridden journey for myself and family, but ultimately was the best decision for my Mom. She is very happy were she is...has not once said she wanted to leave the facility...when we leave she is never crying that we are leaving...she is content to go back with her new family at the facility. It is true that a weight was lifted off of her when she was placed there. She is most likely stage 4 to 5...and she looks so much better. Thank you again for all your advice you have been a great help to me during this whole process..

Transitioning my mom. Your 12 minutes helped tremendously. Thank you!

Vicky, you are a God send, thank you for your wealth of knowledge and sharing it with us, just got both your books and have already started reading. ❤️

Thank you for this information.

Thank you Vickie. You have been a great help 🙏🏼🌹💕

Thank you. That had some really helpful suggestions

Thank You for sharing this!

Thank you so much, Vicky. I have been wondering if the Facebook group was for me because my dad refuses to come to our home and now is in a placement in another state. Makes me so sad, and yet it was his choice. May be his last real choice, but he did choose. I will avail myself of the Facebook group more now that I know I am welcome there even though my father is not living with me. (I first found you two years ago when he was with us for the short term... I have read your book and lent it to quite a few friends dealing with this. So helpful!!) Thank you.

Vicki, could you address the question of "What if I am going to place my person in AL, but they are resistant and hateful to those who are 'making' them go?" (Add to the fact that they are totally reliant on you for mobility trying to get them in and out of a vehicle.

Hello. I literally just found this group and thank you. I have a mother who has dimentia and she has been able to live on her own with aides. However she is becoming more forgetful and my sister and I are becoming more worried for her safety. We are considering placing her and hopefully in Jamestown , NY. Here's the thing--she's angry and has an explosive temper. She's used to being in charge and being independent. How can we make this move? Does the aide assist or do it alone (my sister and I are at least 7 hours away)? Thank you.

Just discovered group and watched this video. Very enlightening, thank you. Moved my mother 2 days ago from her Assisted Living apartment to memory care. She is definitely having transition trauma. Right now I get phone calls from her saying she hates the place and wants to go back to her apartment now. I feel such anxiety and not sure how to deal with how to respond to her right now. Any advice on best way to deal with her anger/anxiety? Thank you in advance for any insight.

My mother was put into a Care Home in December 2022 at the age of 94 after living alone for the last 32 years. She had stage 5 Alzheimers and had all the care packages available to assist her health and safety. We had exhausted every method of help for her ,despite her denial and refusal to comply with outside Agencies. Mother had a second fall in 2022 and was admitted into hospital with a small spinal injury in August of that year. She caught Covid and was in a constant state of confusion whilst on the hospital ward. I insisted that she needed an assessment for her mental capacity to self maintain. Mother was duly assessed and her capacity was deemed inadequate to continue living in her bungalow. She was thus admitted into a Care Home in August 2022. Mother died peacefully 4 months later surrounded by family. She was 3 weeks short of her 95th birthday. Her long arduous journey was finally over. We have no regrets whatever at her Care Home placement. The best and most professional medical place for her . 4 months

I think my mom's decline would have happened anyway, but I feel guilty, wondering if my sisters and I precipitated it: moving mom to memory care, then a month later taking her on several flights to go to a family reunion, followed by 6 weeks of emergency rooms, hospitalizations, and a stay in a skilled nursing facility. Finally, 3 months after we moved her to memory care, the doctor said that hospice was necessary. Sometimes I lie awake wondering if she'd be better if we had just moved her to memory care and not taken her to the family reunion. There are no guarantees or answers, just guilt that we made things worse.

3 months now of transition for my 92 y.o. mother from Independent living to emergency room to "rehab care" at a nursing home to now "long term care" at a nursing home. I have not missed a day of being there. I am exhausted, frustrated, and more than anything, just angry at the world. This is the most daunting task I have ever had and I feel guilty and overwhelmed. Your video has helped just to hear a voice expressing the same emotions. I'm a grown man age 64 and have cried every night. It is sucking the life out of me and causing damage to my marriage. I am married to a saint, but how can anyone be expected to not feel neglected when their spouse chooses to spend every evening at the nursing home making sure their mother is okay and as happy as possible. This is a no win situation and I just want to give up.

Hi. We may be moving my mother to memory care in the next few weeks and she is likely to be angry. She has reached that stage in dimentia and has often become angry or refuses to talk to anyone she deems guilty. This can last for a while and I’ve the feeling the transition will be hard. Anyway, as it’ll be her birthday next month and Mother’s Day in May, I was thinking of sending her flowers but what to say on the card? What can I do to ease the transition? Thank you.

How to tell to the patient hat you will put her in a memory care unit ?

you have such good info! my mom in law and dad in law are still living at home with some care (for him,she's good physically) but he doesn't have dementia really,she does and when they don't have a nurse there it falls on her and it's really not fair even though she's doing pretty good right now.We have to get them more home care and she says"yes he needs it I can't do all this myself." and then she says "I don't want all these people in the house." She has become very indecisive,she changes her mind every 5 minutes.We think she's listened to us and will be cooperative and then she forgets or changes her mind,is this "normal" in dementia?'

I tried to join FB pg tonight. It let me fill out the 3 questions but when I hit submit nothing happens. I only recently found your videos. The video about Christmas made me cry because I answered yes to all of the questions in the first 3 minutes of the video.

My mama is so far beyond explaining she is going to a nursing home. She doesn't recognize her home of 60 years she doesn't recognize me as her son, every afternoon she starts the I want to go home marathon. She has fell twice this week getting out of bed and wandering around at night packing clothes to leave, this is at our home I can't imagine her adjusting to the SNF. She is in stage six I had everything in place and admission date scheduled then backed out.

Wish me luck, we’re going into memory care on Friday, rooms all ready but I’m concerned my husband won’t understand, I have no idea how he will respond. Very stressful, worse thing I’ve ever had to do. Just don’t know how he’ll take it. Mines stage 4/5

Vicki, what if your the one putting yourself in when the time comes? How do you enter a retirement memory care facility when your married and have a low income, we just paid off our modest home after working 7 yrs to pay off. I don't want my husband who has his own disability to lose his home. Do you divorce by paper only just to stop from the facility from taking our home? Sorry for the long post Vicki, but in time I can expect to be needing a facilities care due to parkinson's dementia

Do you have a video for how to get my loved ones to change her underwear? She takes a shower once every 3 weeks and she keeps layering her underwear. Thanks

I DONT KNOW HOW TO SUPPORT MORALLY MY MOM SHE IS CRYING AND NOT ACCEPTING TO MOVE FROM HOSPITAL TO A CARING HOME SHE CANNOT RETURN IN HER APPARTEMENT WHAT TO DO?

Thank you for this. I watch this video on repeat when I feel the guilt of placing my parents in assisted living. Both my parents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s within weeks of each other. We placed them in a two bedroom assisted living apartment a week ago for their safety (my moms been falling) and due to the diagnosis and future progression. They are definitely going thru transfer trauma, calling daily, saying they are packing and going home. It’s been so hard. Appreciate your videos and will reach out to the support group. Many thanks!