My trauma therapist has been trying to get me to connect to this feeling of being cared for. I realised, at some point in my childhood, I stopped letting any care in as a self-preservation/defence mechanism. I don’t think people realise how challenging it can be for those of us who were severely neglected and/or abused in our childhood to feel connected to nurturing feelings. It’s like a blindness and when I try to imagine feeling cared for, there’s a complete blank there. Logically I know I’m loved by people who are in my life but I just can’t feel it. I loved the tip in this video about trying to connect to the feeling we experience when caring for others instead. I’m a very caring person, so maybe this will be a way in for me. Thank you!
Another video with Dr. Alexa Altman! are you gonna do more collaborations with her? Her understanding and input on trauma is amazing, I wish that therapists and psychiatrists where I live had her level of knowledge.
How can I hate resources when the two best mental health advocates on the planet break it down so well. Looooooove these videos Kati and Alexa. You are helping us so much. So thankful for you both for your influence on my journey.
not sure you'll ever see this but I ended up looking you up for some tough time for me in regards to intrusive thoughts, I wanted to say thank you so much, you're literally a life saver
I plan on watching this later. The thought of EMDR terrifies me because dissociation is my safe place. However, the longer I go with only tackling my trauma part way, the worse it gets. My recovery ebbs and flows but never really feels like it’s going anywhere. Thanks for covering this topic, Kati.
had emdr a few years ago i was also terrified for similar reasons it did wonders for me would do it again in a heartbeat wish you well what ever path you choose
Although I believe the people I have worked with had good intentions, it would have been so beneficial to understand what installing resources was. I kept asking for 'a thing to help me' without realising what I wanted or why just talking wasn't doing much. Thank you very much for this, it is validating to know some part of me knows what is right for me and that I actually asked for it, even if I didn't understand why I needed resources to call upon or what they were!
Really enjoying the collabs with you two! As much as I love you speaking to us on your own Kati, I like the dynamic between two highly knowledgeable professionals bouncing information and points off each other as well! Very cool and almost unbelievable that such a great resource is made available for free!
Dynamic duo!! Kati & Dr. Alexa!!! Love your videos together! So much love, caring, wisdom, & good advice! Thank you for your help & sharing your wisdom!💗💗💗🥰🥰🥰
Thank you so much Kati for putting this video out. I have start EMDR therapy with my talk therapist. She just got certificated in EMDR so she is learning through me and a few other clients currently.
The space/place that came up for me for a safe or no-conflict/neutral zone was sitting in the shower, which was both surprising and made sense for me. I've actually had showers come up multiple times in the past as having a feeling of serenity? It's tied with this natural sitting position I'd been doing since I was a kid, part of which is crossing my arms on my knees and laying my head on them, which made a sort of private space to get some distance from the overwhelm outside. Rather than the way I'd thought security should feel, this feels much more like, the words that came up are private and calm. I feel very happy that I've now got this way of installing some resources, I'm going to expand resources of peace, space, power/competency, warmth! I also noticed that when I was following along, that I really felt what I needed as I went, which was to rewind, ground more, move/stand and take a minute, pause, and especially felt that Instinct really controlled when I tapped and didn't tap. I feel that experience has made me feel more comfortable trusting my body to be a benevolent thing in my life, which is honestly relieving just due to how much betrayal trauma I've had happen, including on a direct body level, which I think my feelings on what happened in relation to *my* body is that the betrayal wasn't my body against me, its more like, my body *and* I were betrayed by someone else, so we're sort of fellow survivors?
Thanks so much for taking the time to do these videos!! So confirming how important it is for me to stick with it… “trust the process SusieQ, trust this process”
What a gorgeous “delicious” video. I am helping a friend deal with her trauma while her therapist is away as she classified me as her safe person. I have been really absorbing so much about trauma and this type of resource stuff is so eye opening. Ps. I am totally with your grandma too Kati haha
Although I experience many tramas I’m glad when I told my adopted parents my neibor malested me my dad believed me and went over there and confronted the man does your guest do video, she is very validating and very attentive when you spoke to her
Thanks Kati for the video. The information helps me become encouraged with my new therapist. My old therapist is moving for a different job. The information helps me also understand what my therapist sometimes is talking about. I would ask but inside I feel stupid for asking.
The first person that came to my mind when thinking of who could be my nurturing person is my former highschool teacher, who was always so caring for everyone and just had the vibe of a great mother. When thinking about her nurturing me, I kind of get sad and miss her and long for that relationship back. Is this a good idea to think of her as a nurturing figure if it just makes me crave for her, even though I know I am not going to have that relationship?
Thanks Katy and Alexa. I watched part of this clip last night and found it helpful. I liked the part about finding the safe spot whether it's a safe place or a neutral place or it could be playing a musical instrument. Personally, I do adult dot-to-dot because it improves my drawing skills and reflexes. I also listen to Michael Sealey on RU-vid!
I tried to do this exercise but I hated tapping. It felt really uncomfortable and brought up some really negative emotions. I always experience this when I try to do tapping of any kind, or breathing exercises too. It's really frustrating
Still no talk about Trauma and PTSD being different. A lot of people think just bc they have experienced a traumatic event they think they have PTSD which isn't true bc you can be traumatized and never develop or have PTSD.
This video is confusing I don’t really understand the words install and resource although in colloquial words I understand what this means I don’t really get the process that you’re describing
for me jimmy dore since around 13 years old when he adopted me i became so happy around the age of 18 19ish he pushed me to be my best and helped me be the journalist i am now i might make 0 dollars but i love research i might go back to the ives group and ask about a new job even though i am unable to be in person since things might have calmed down there and i am now in a different place
Hey, I was just wondering, through watching your videos I gone through a lot of self discovery. These things majorly affect my life, I think I know what’s wrong and what I need to do to change but I don’t want to. How do I change or get help when I don’t want to?
Can you change your "safe place" that was installed for EMDR? Would it be strange to ask my therapist to re-do it? Does that make sense? We installed my safe place over a year ago and I feel like though it is a safe place, I need something a bit different for what I am now working through.
I tried this but felt no emotion... I have CPTSD, MAD and MDD though, that doesn't define me. I did see myself as a hardened, bandaged veteran warrior just sitting there beside myself as a little boy. Strange...
Can the safe space be somewhere you experienced as an adult? I'd like to know more about implementing the resources and how they can be utilized even out of chronological time. Great video, Thank you!
