True Crime & The Theater of Safety 

As an autistic woman I've been super troubled by this trend of amateur (and professional) body language analysis demanding everyone exhibit the "correct reaction," and picking apart every tick and expression, which has really come to a head during this case. And it's not just a neurodivergent issue, there is no 'right' reaction, especially in situations of high emotion.

“we doin trial by vibes?” is soooo succinct and accurate at describing what happens to these subjects when they’re given the “easy online content” treatment

"What if your gut is racist." Great line. people have so many internalized biases, it's difficult to exclude them from your decision making in the moment.

"the theatre of true crime is to tell the stories of good, clean, dead women. Not messy living women" This really hits me. Apologies if the quote is slightly off. Thanks for the video.

So much here that is important and necessary that most people are justifiably too scared to say, but with regard to never coming forward about your own trauma and the people who’ve hurt you? Truer words never spoken. It’s never worth it. Even if you have support at the outset, regardless of the truthfulness of your story, it will always be weaponized against you eventually.

As a neurodivergent person, who was in an abusive relationship for a decade, the number of people who've become 'experts' at analyzing body language terrifies me.

My sister's friend lost her two children in a house fire recently. She was at work but her husband was home with the kids. They had just bought this house and some of the wiring was found to be faulty and badly placed. This tragedy made big news because her husband had been a volunteer fire fighter. We got the 'pleasure' of watching the True Crime Crowd turn their fucking nightmare of a freak accident into a conspiracy theory. They claimed that Dustin started the fire, that he 'forgot the kids' inside, that he left them to burn, that he was having an affair and wanted them dead, that Nikki left her kids with an abuser etc. All kinds of completely unsubstantiated sick shit that they pulled out of their ass because "I heard a story like that on a podcast." I have never in my life felt so much boiling anger at random strangers on Facebook.

Regarding the reaction thing, there was a really good article a few years ago about parents who’d accidentally left their children in hot cars. There was a woman who they were afraid of having testify because she was so calm and methodical in talking about what happened, and they were afraid the jury would think she was cold and uncaring. So instead they played the 911 call from the scene, where she could be heard screaming and crying and expressing regret and horror. She cared, she just compartmentalized after the event because she had other things to take care of. So yeah I’m rambling but the idea that If someone is composed when talking about a traumatic event it means they’re lying is so dangerous.

We are watching the misogynistic backlash to MeToo in real time. People are now coming after Evan Rachel Wood and Kesha saying that their allegations are false solely due to the reaction to the Depp/Heard trial and this is so worrying and disgusting.

I'm a man who's previously been a victim of domestic abuse & it's super disappointing that this is the case that we latched onto to do theater of supporting male victims.

One example of weird bias I saw was on a video of her slightly smiling it was "duper's delight, you can tell she's lying! She's so smug!" but on a similar video of him it was "oh bless, he's smiling to try and cope, he's trying to be brave." Super bizarre how differently the same behaviour is interpreted.

*"the theater of true crime is to tell the tragic stories of good, clean, dead women. not living, flawed, messy women who still need help and grace, those women are criminalized. because if she can breathe she can lie and therefore we can doubt her and therefore we cannot really believe her"*

This is a major consequence of the “panopticon” of the internet. We’ve commercialized reacting and being on “the right side” to the point where people view this as a team sport. Everyone wants to feel like they are uniquely prepared to figure out the truth because our landscape pressures us to have an opinion. But in the end, we don’t know anything. We aren’t trained for this and there are just some things we’ll never fully know. But at this point, people don’t care. They just want to “win.” This is the endgame of the panopticon: fan cams of a domestic violence case.

We love to look back at figures like Monica Lewinsky and Britney Spears and say, "Wow, the 90s and early 2000s were rough on women! Thank goodness we've moved past that and we can see so easily why this was wrong!" Enter Amber Heard.

As a bisexual woman w diagnosed mental illness, I sadly agree with you point that “no amount of money is worth trying to (publicly) fight with a man” on the topic of your feelings, your trauma, the abuse you went through. Sometimes I feel like we as marginalised sexual, gender, race minorities just can’t win. No one cares about the justice.

This video actually made me cry because when I was sexually assaulted, no one believed me because of my sexual history and mental illness history. "If she can breathe, she can lie" hit me like a ton of bricks.

As a black feminist who has watched people not care about the high rate of DV in our community and gaslight black women with whole black incel movements (saying that we deserve partner violence), I am avoiding this Heard/Depp debacle like the plague because...if a white woman is being treated like this we have no chance to get a good day in court. No one cares about women's pain because we think women deserve it. Always. I do like some true-crime material that highlights the stories of black women / or even living black women that I find online but those people get no views anyway. I wanna push back a little bit and say that feminism has never become mainstream----because I don't see feminism out here at all.

Reactionary abuse is real. I’ve been there. I dated a cop and he would abuse me until I reacted and then “I” was the crazy one. The gaslighting got so bad I had a mental breakdown that he planned thoroughly for me to have in order to amplify the abuse. Because who would believe the “crazy woman?” Finally escaped the relationship and years later I called the authorities because he wouldn’t stop harassing me, they refused to help me once they learned he’s a cop. A lawyer even told me to get over it after I tried to get a restraining order. That bitch said I just wanted to get “revenge” on him. He finally stopped emailing me almost FIVE years after I went no contact… Once you see red flags or potential signs of abuse, RUN!!!! Don’t be with these folks because they will ruin you! That’s their goal because they feel nothing. In order to fill those empty feelings, they cause others harm. They get off on it.

Something that really bugged me was when Amber Heard's lawyer was trying to bring up the fact that women have been historically over diognised with Borderline Personality Disorder as a way to discredit them, and were often put in mental institutions where they were mistreated and abused, and his phycologist just said "no, that's just a fact that women are statistically more likely to have BPD"... Like that's just another tactic that's been used against women for DECADES, but we're just going to take that as fact, I guess, without any context or understanding. Only shows what an uncritical meaningless circus this whole thing is.

Godddd I hate 'body language experts.' Body language was my abuser's #1 rationalization for all the times he hurt me. 'He could tell I was lying,' 'He could tell I was cheating.' Neither of those things happened, but the facts didn't matter more than his 'trial by vibes.' But I hate people who go 'that sounds hot' about rape testimony even more. There's no fucking 'irony' there, they're just telling _countless people who've been violated,_ 'I agree with your attacker, that sounds really enjoyable.' It doesn't 'just' apply to the people they've decided are 'liars,' it's all of us. Someone says that to me, I start thinking in the direction of self-defense, because that is an absolutely _predatory_ thing to say. Excellent video, sorry it had to be made. What a shitty situation.

Thank you for this. I’ve been so damn uncomfortable around the way people have been discussing Amber Heard, especially on social media

"If she can breathe, she can lie." I couldn't help but cry watching this. It's been unbelievable seeing how much society hates women. Thank you for this video.

As a man who experienced IPV at the hands of a woman, thanks for making this video. Generally when I share my abuse, people respond with either indifference or misogyny (sometimes both). This is normal in our culture. When clips of the trial started appearing in my feed, I felt excited, hopeful- maybe now that male abuse is in the conversation, people will be more willing to have empathy for us. When I actually watched the clips though, something felt off. Depp's charm, the odd collection of dudes in his corner, Reddit eating shit up, his therapist's popularity. And yeah, as you mentioned, the misogyny. I said to myself 'ok, male domestic abuse is being discussed, that's good. I only feel off because trauma and misogyny'. Then I stopped engaging with that content because I can't function if I'm dealing with insomnia and flashbacks. Given that you've experienced IPV as well, I'm blown away that you made this. I know it was hell to do all the research and writing on this. And in spite of that you brought a clear, contextualized, and informed perspective. You changed the way I look at this situation. Absolute queen. Thank you, again.

the whole thing with the rape allegations is that, even if she was lying, true rape victims would still see that content and feel mocked. It's like belittling bad people for unnatractive physical traits - regardless of whether or not they deserve to be mocked, normal people with the same traits will still see that, and know you equate them with being lesser.

the public reaction to this trial has been absolutely terrifying to witness. as a mentally ill and bi woman who has experienced domestic abuse, it’s been very sobering to see peers and strangers on and offline joking about crazy b*tches who need to be institutionalized, gross bi women who have threesomes and cheat on their male partners with the first woman they see-but are also faking being gay for clout, and judging emotional reactions to decide whether or not someone is a “real” victim… and then saying “oh but i don't mean *you,* i mean amber heard!” NONE of this is being done in the name of abuse survivors. i’m SO sick of people using survivors as a shield from criticism when i’ve been having recurring nightmares about my abuser for the first time in years because of how utterly inescapable and triggering this trial is. i don't see ANY way i could possibly feel safe and validated as a survivor right now when it’s so obvious this reaction is only happening out of bigotry and celebrity worship.

One of the absolute worst things about the Depp vs Heard case is just how much worse the stigmatization of Cluster B personality disorders, ESPECIALLY BPD has gotten. The fact that this case was publicized basically enabled ableism against those with more "socially unacceptable" mental disorders to get even worse than it already has been and I have encountered WAY too many JD stans generalize all Cluster B's, ESPECIALLY BPD, as inherently evil and abusive.

Omg thank you!!! I work with ppl in domestic violence situations, and the Lorena Bobbit & amber heard/ Johnny Depp situation is so textbook. And true crime is all about picking apart the tiniest details about a situation to find “the twist.” It makes me so upset because it’s legitimizing the stigma normal abuse victims face. Especially black/Hispanic women. Re: poop in the bed. There are plenty of instances where abused women/children go to the bathroom in their rooms or weird places because they are afraid of leaving that space to use the restroom. They are usually incredibly ashamed. Even if it was amber, It’s not that weird. The weird part is they had a housekeeper to find it. Where are the domestic violence experts?? The assaults happen when the abuser is intoxicated. The victim is accused of abuse, made out to look crazy, labeled as BPD, mocked, disbelieved… her emotional responses are weaponized against her. The abuser focuses in on a handful of instances where she acted out, and brings them up over and over again. He is charming and likeable, and reasonable & calm in person. The abuser deliberately punishes the victim for making him look bad, often driving home how powerless she is by using cops/“the system” as part of the punishment. True crime ppl need to stop looking for “the twist” in every case. Sometimes there is no twist. An older, rich, powerful man with a raging drug/alcohol problem repeatedly got violent with his much younger, much poorer wife.

will never ever forget that the whole reason OJ Simpson’s glove “didn’t fit” was because his legal team instructed him to stop taking his arthritis medication.

I never thought about how one extra factor of this is as a natural progression of the true crime fandom, where a court case is just, figuratively, another series of the show. That was a really interesting point. I definitely think this is a perfect storm of stan culture, Me Too backlash and terminally online influencers whose need for clout is starting to outpace their empathy. It would be interesting if it wasn't so depressing and horrifying. Thank you for this video as well - I try to talk to people in the very few spaces online without misinformation, but like other people have said it's so prevalent I honestly sometimes have been wondering if I'm not just deeply wrong and losing my mind? It's been an awful feeling and I can't imagine the degree Amber Heard is feeling it now.

It gave me such an uncomfortable feeling from the beginning, as someone who knew very little about the situation, that a domestic abuse trial was SO high profile that people were viewing it as entertainment. Like, such a serious, real thing shouldn’t be treated like the new thing to joke and talk about online, you know?

People like this can say the wildest shit against women in general with no repercussions, but the moment a woman says "my ex boyfriend was abusive" they all attack you with "NOT ALL MEN!!1!" it's exhausting, and then they complain how as a cis het man you can't say anything without being "cancelled"... Come on...

Saw a tweet a few days ago that said in about 10-15 years the media will be apologizing to Heard like they did to Brittany, Lindsey Lohan, Anna Nicole, Janet Jackson, the list goes on really but the point is, I fully agree

Really good point that Gabby Petito’s killer also made the claim that she was the aggressor, and had the police questioned what he told them she would have had a chance of survival.

This was so healing for me to hear. I keep seeing "I am a DV survivor and I can tell she's lying!" And it's really made me question my own abuse and if people would believe me. She has pictures and recordings but they say 'she set him up!' ... I took pictures of my bruises and damaged property. I imagine how helpless it would feel for the world to mock my abuse and claim I set him up. I know this isn't about me but I know to a lot of other victims its also triggering.

What gets me is that everyone jokes about how terrible her attorneys are, but they don’t stop to wonder if having a mediocre attorney might be impacting how she comes off during the trail.

the whole "trial by vibes" thing is super bad for neurodivergent people as well. Like autistic people are often perceived as having weird body language or facial expressions. Doubly so for autistic people of color...

The sheer number of true crime fans whose takeaway is, "This will never happen to me; I'm an expert!"

“If she can breathe, she can lie” - I’ve been shocked by the tidal wave of people online I’ve seen the past few weeks saying exactly this with zero self awareness. Thank you for making this- I really hope people aren’t shitty to you.

re “white women tears”: I’m soooo sick of people using someone’s whiteness as like,, an excuse to be super sexist/homophobic but spin it to be somehow progressive.

The fact that we somehow expect women to be meek and submissive in the face of their abuse, to "take it," and never get angry in response, never fight back, never have a normal HUMAN reaction to being hurt over and over again--ALL so we can later give her our so called full support because she's passed the fucking test of sitting there and letting another person torture her without every lifting a finger against them??

I normally don’t comment on videos but I felt the need to because you have helped me snap out of all the bullshit I’ve been accepting about this trial. I was already disgusted about the memefication of it all but I did consider myself to be on I guess “Depps side”. As uncomfortable/disappointed with myself this video made me I’m glad I watched the whole way through. As frustrating this must have been to make I’d just like to say thank you. This entire thing is so messed up and saddening. Speaking up on the internet can feel like shouting into the void but I just wanted to let you know some people are actually listening.

What’s most jarring to me is how people are picking apart her every reaction. It’s odd because they sound like those people who say the parents of children who die in school shootings are crisis actors.

I was a Depp fan. I didn't even enjoy Amber's acting--or notice her in particular. But when everyone began talking about this, I looked into it. And reading through Depp's texts alone was enough to show what kind of man he was. Entitled. Misogynistic. Aggressive. And very hateful and bitter when not getting his way. I'm so sad not to see men coming out and denouncing him for these things alone. And from there it only gets worse.

Another flaw in the body language and amateur psychoanalysis, is that it ignores cultural and custom differences.

It's been so discouraging seeing people who really should know better, people who have been in abusive situations, people who would be disbelieved, turning around and disbelieving.

As an autistic woman body language science terrifies me. I feel like I'm gonna get fucked over by some pseudo scientific bullshit one day if I don't make eye contact with a police officer or stim and "look shifty". I think it's fucking ridiculous.

Thank you so much for this. Seeing reels where it'll be four days in a row of "Johnny was so funny in court today" or "Even Amber's Lawyer likes Depp in the courtroom", and then the fifth day it's like "Looks like Amber forgot to act sad for this part lol"-- has just been driving me crazy. It's like, sure-- a dude cracking jokes while recounting his abuse is super cool or some shit, but if a woman isn't a crying a wreck 24/7 then that must be damning... I don't know. But your video helped.

As a bi woman/fem who was told I wouldn't have been abused if I was 'less bi', thank you for bringing up the violence against us.

I hate HATE public trials. Whether or not Heard is guilty is wayyyy past us at this point. This entire trial is a sham that has dragged her to the point that no matter is she is found guilty or not, her life is ruined and its so deeply frustrating. Its not a matter of legal repercussions anymore. She’ll been punished no matter the outcome.

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like part of the reason why people feel so emboldened to take JD's side publicly is due to a lack of visibility of people standing up for Heard. People are playing this massive game of telephone where they heard someone say they read something somewhere and they aren't seeing any big voices correcting these claims or fact checking them, and they aren't willing to do that research themselves, so it becomes their presumed reality.

you describe perfectly what i was feeling about this whole trial. Legal Eagle also did a video on it giving it a proper coverage and explaining it from the perspective of a lawyer, and oh dear people are making fun and blowing out of proportions super normal trial stuff. and the titles are so similar to those jordan peterson videos of "jordan peterson destroyes a feminist" it's terrifying

I loathe it when people bring up the "the cop was a lesbian" defense as a gotcha. The LGBT+ community has discriminated against bisexual people for years. It's not a new thing.

"What if your gut is racist?" Oh my god, thank you for verbalizing this so clearly.

As an autistic man, I appreciate that you brought up the bullshit science that is "body language analysis." I've straight-up had people assume what I was thinking or what I believed based on body language, eye contact, etc. my entire life, and it's led to so much anxiety about how I'm "supposed" to act in front of neurotypicals. Look you in the eye? It's creepy. Don't look you in the eye? It's weird/I'm being deceptive. I can't win either way. And I'm not even in court. I would absolutely fail ANY analysis of how my body responds to questions.

Im pissed that the Depp/Heard Trial is public and then Ghislaine Maxwell Trial was sealed up tight.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. As a man who went through domestic abuse, I kept getting triggered by this coverage and how everyone seems to be piling on Amber. It just didn’t sit right with me, even though Jhonny has become the poster child for male victims of domestic abuse and I should feel seen. But I don’t. All of this is so messed up. Your video really helped me process all this. Thank you.

Seeing a lot of ppl claim that it was “mutual abuse” and I need y’all to know that the term does not exist and generally isn’t accepted to DV professionals. Abuse is about control and power, it’s a result of one person craving that in a relationship, and both people cannot hold power. There’s a difference between two people being generally toxic to one another and abuse.

Update: Also, sigh, I didn't want to get into this, but since people have brought up her "going after him" in this tapes ... I want to share why I see that as reactive violence and not an example of her being an aggressor: My first real love was an addict. He was addicted to a lot of things, but he loved me and i loved him. The way he would get drunk, or high, and then act like he as being rational would make me feel crazy. Hed do something harmful or say something that both worried me and frustrated me and then wanted to leave There were times his phone died, or his wallet got stolen, hell one time he was mugged. I was always afraid hed leave and hed never come back. That he would die or be hurt and it would be my fault. We’d argue and when he would want to leave id try and stop him id beg and sometimes id pick a fight because if we were fighting at home together then he wasnt out on the street. According to Jennifer Grey in her memoir, Depp would leave and vanish after fights. When your partner is an addict that is terrifying and when you believe that you can fix someone-you hope that this fight, this raw moment will change something. But it doesnt and you keep trying until you emotionally cant. When i hear amber on those tapes thats what i hear her responding to-a partner who starts conflict and then leaves to make you feel crazy, and uses the fear you have of being alone against you. The person i was then, the way i wanted to be loved that i made excuses even when he stole from me, hit me, and had me losing time off work because i was combing the streets trying to find him. That when we broke up i let them keep the apartment because in the end i wanted him to feel safe. … that is what emotional abuse does. It drags you down to your worst self, especially when you are in love. I was with that person for almost 5 years. It was ever really healthy, but i hoped beyond hope that it would be. Original comment: Hey! My plan when I made this video was to try and stay a little active in the comments to address anything that I might have missed. Or to try and talk in good faith to what I saw were good-faith doubtful responses. I also wanted to make sure I kept the comments up because I know it is kind of a damned if you do/damned if you don't kinda situation. However, I have come to the realization that I am too emotionally invested in the case, because the weight of the sexism I have seen has just been grueling. Not simply doubt, or even arguing that they are both toxic, but the jokes, memes, and straight-up ignoring of things. I've already seen people mention Amber abusing her partner when, I literally shared information that show her partner said that didn't happen. I have seen some people infer that I'm saying men can't be victims, even though I never say that and directly call out in the video that men can be abused and that the most vulnerable men in society are those we are least likely to rally behind. I have never supported TERF talking points or dismissed abuse against men, and I hoped that because I'm been consistent in that that if I lent my voice to this-it would be helpful. I'm glad that it has helped some. But in dealing with researching and reading the abuse testimony, I've also been reliving a lot of the emotional abuse I suffered in the past and I don't want to keep going back to that place in my life. It may make me sound weak, but I can not handle it. I hope this video did some good and while I understand some may still disagree, I hope you did listen. I'm going to add chapters to the myths at the end to make this clearer and I'm also going to add this piece from Medium. medium.com/@hannahxsummers/the-assassination-of-amber-heard-a2e861ad5ded The myth of the perfect victim hurts all survivors, including men, from being believed and I hope we will grow beyond the desire to see it to believe people. 0:00 Intro 4:03 True Crime 31:05 The leaked audio 32:08 Amber's ex 33:26 The poop 35:59 Cutting off the finger 36:08 Charity payments 36:21 Amber stole someone's rape testimony 37:10 Milani 37:53 Mutual abuse

There was even a s3x toy company that made an alcohol bottle shaped toy and labeled it with Amber's name. The absolute DEPRAVITY of that is mind blowing.

As someone with anxiety/depression and other weird tics and social awkwardness, if I ever got in trouble in that way, I’m 100% screwed.

Regardless of whether or not you believe Amber, memeing a conversation about rape is disgusting. I saw one of the tiktoks doin it last night and was appalled. Thankfully it was only on my feed because it was stitched with someone calling it out. But this whole trial being turned into jokes on either side is not okay. This is a trial about domestic violence. No matter which side you take it's about abuse and people are laughing.

I remember being at a dinner full of white college boys laughing and high-fiving about the trial. I said "I didn't realize domestic violence could be so funny" they thought I was making a joke :/

It's deeply distressing that so many people see the pain of others as an opportunity for engagement and/or profit, and erase all nuance in these issues in doing so. Really appreciated your take here, thank you for this.

THANK YOU. I was starting to doubt my own sanity while faced with all of these """funny""" memes/videos/etc. Regardless of what the truth of ANY lawsuit or unhealthy relationship is (not just this one involving these two specific people), regardless of who is or isn't a victim (again, in ANY case, not just this one), treating a trial like this like a quirky midnight movie to watch with their friends is disturbing and SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING. We should not be making memes out of this, and we should not be commodifying discussions of rape and other forms of abuse into social media trends or quick grabs for cash or followers.

Been kind of sleeping on the 'how much of this is biphobia, mental illness stigma and good ol' American misogyny clouding our judgment' thing, despite that lingering concern, in no small part because people I trust who have been in bad situations seemed convinced. Mob mentality is a hell of a thing.

Your passion permeates through the screen and I'm literally in awe at how amazing this video is

The minute I heard the psychologist for Depp’s case speak, I knew something was off. I wasn’t following the case very closely, but I’m interested in psychology so I listened to her excerpt and it was so disappointing and immediately worried me. I’m diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, and she first of all, said false information about BPD. It is very commonly accepted by psychologists to be caused at least partially by trauma (a more in depth description would be that people are thought to already be at a higher sensitivity level [the genetic aspect], and when they experience trauma or stress it brings out the borderline traits [the trauma aspect]). Because of that, PTSD and BPD are very often comorbid. Second, very few psychologists would diagnose TWO personality disorders, especially in the same cluster. Maybe traits of two, or traits of one with a full personality disorder, but not two full diagnoses. While it does happen, it is EXTREMELY rare and is normally from two different clusters. Third, she somehow accidentally said bipolar disorder instead of borderline. It baffles me how someone could be an “expert” on this subject, and yet still make mistakes that I’ve only seen people without a psychology background make. After watching her testimony I knew that first of all, this case was all sorts of wrong, and second, it was going to make hatred towards borderline people even stronger than it already is. It’s disappointing to see. When I watched Amber’s psychologist speak, she was far more eloquent, showed more depth and understanding of psychology, and was far more experienced with trauma. Yet, people would rather believe Depp’s psychologist (who could be easily proven wrong by many psychologists) instead of Amber’s.

The mutual abuse thing makes me insaaaaane, like I have heard people use that exact excuse in domestic violence situations where a guy will stalk and beat up his partner constantly, but since she scratched him trying to get away from him, it's all "well she's also contributing to it." It's so fucking infuriating.

ALSO THANK YOU ON THE GUT REACTIONS THING!! Context: I'm mixed white-black and whenever I go to the airport, I'm usually with my (white) mom and (mixed) sister, while my (black) dad goes the long way because he doesn't have Clear. The amount of times we've been pulled over, accosted, or reported by "well-meaning" white (and sometimes nonwhite!!) people for traf**cking is a number I cannot count on both of my hands. And it's not because we travel a lot. As I got older, the incidents started turning from the racist "hey that's a white woman with two nonwhite kids, are they actually hers??" to the possibly even more racist "hey are those two kids of ambiguous gender accosting a white woman??" And it's NOT because of protocol (I've seen all-one-race families get through without being pulled over) or because it's only the authorities -- I've been questioned by a random middle-aged white woman as to what I was doing around my own mother. Gut feelings are not a reason to not trust someone, you need proof!!

Are we going to have to wait another 10 years for Amber Heard to get her abuse critically re-examined in the public eye? She’ll be yet another in the line of the Britney’s and Pamela’s, why can’t we ever be for these women right her right now instead of a decade too late?

Damn! "The theatre of true crime is to tell the stories of good, clean dead women, not living, flawed messy women who still need help and grace. Those women are criminalized. Because if she can breathe, she can lie." 🤯😳🔥🔥 that's such facts! Put it precisely! 😱🙌🙌🙌

I have to say, I was on the fence about it all until I saw her friends testify. None of those people work for her or are even in contact with her anymore. They have no reason to lie. I've been increasingly suspicious of the types of people endlessly criticizing Heard online. These "body language experts" just so happen to mostly be men, whose videos just to happen to mostly target women. Something I think goes under-discussed is that the public consensus on Amber for the last 2 or 3 years now has been that she's a liar. I'm sure she knows that. I can't imagine how I would behave if I already knew everyone thought I was lying, that the world was watching, and the fate of my career hung in the balance. Bottom line, at this point I can't see how anyone can look at this case and see anything other than a tragic situation. Terrible.

"You want things to change so badly, that you are willing to tap into the worst parts of yourself" This hit home so hard. It's so true, that feeling of, if one keeps showing up or gets the right outcome that the relationship will finally get better and course correct, despite all evidence showing to the contrary.

As someone who’s been abused since I was about 9 years old, it’s so refreshing to see a video that takes this situation seriously instead of treating it like a media circus and a chance to make a million memes about it, thank you.

Thank you for this. As a male victim of domestic abuse, I find the public mocking of Amber in almost lockstep fashion disturbing and insulting. First of all, Johnny Depp is not the martyr for male abuse victim. He is not the one. Second of all this whole situation is seeping with overt misogyny

i know it's absolutely impossible to argue with dpp supporters at this point, and arguably irrelevant, but one thing that i also find particularly irritating and telling is their insistence on supporting him based on "men can be abused" (which, like you said and i also believe is 100% true) is that whenever his assaults of crew members is then brought up they always immediately dismiss it as, "it was another man he (allegedly) hit". like, which one is it. so we're dismissing his history of violence against other men, bc it doesn't fit into the narrative of him not having a history of violence? oh no, it's different bc it wasn't violence against immediate partners, got it. it doesn't matter that it was a man he assaulted. it illustrates perfectly imo how little they actually care for male victims of violence. it illustrates perfectly how they lack intersectional thinking (e.g. difference of class and social standing by assaulting a crew member).

I needed to check myself on this case. This was a good slap in the face. I hadn't done my due diligence and researched the whole of the case. Nor did I consider the cultural implications behind a great deal of it, especially media circus. I wasn't supporting him or anything, because I do understand he was probably shit, but I gave in to that detached "neutrality" that so many men still do that doesn't understand context or consistent patterns among men. Even as I was like, "they're both shit", I should have taken into account a great deal more of the patterns of media and of men using legal systems in ways that constantly endanger and victimize women. I need to be more careful.

Thank you... I've been really disappointed in the YT reactions even from typically progressive channels to Heard's testimony. Even if you don't believe her, it's not okay to pathologize every public behavior, including the emotions she shows while recalling violent encounters. She is an actor, yes. But she is a human fucking being first.

How many defamation lawsuits are just men trying to silence their victims? I'm glad there's people out there who recognize that.

I've been deliberately avoiding this trial and any news about it because I didn't want to be triggered to death and I'm so glad. After the snippets I've seen of heinously awful people turning rape testimony into nothing but casual fantasy. It's so dehumanising. The thing you said about the types of women who get sympathy being dead women is so so true. It's like the only truly good woman is a dead one.

I remember my first experience of this “true crime security theater” being a tumblr post of ways to protect yourself from serial k!!!!ers. The advice was things like “don’t have long hair. Ted bundy used to grab women by ponytails as easy victimization.” And I was like…wait what?? It sounds pretty extreme, but a lot of true crime blogs and tips do this same thing; as though your shoe choice or your hairstyle or the way you climb into your car will be so meaningful as to save your life

Just one thing about the "victims think they can fix the abuser" is that even when you fully understand you are being harmed and needs to get out of there, a lot of people around you, even if they are aware of the abuse, try to make you not give up if they like the abuser. I had an abusive mother, thankfully since I was a teenager I knew I had to get away from her the second I could in my adulthood, but my aunts, her sisters, kept telling me to "give one last chance, she still loves you" every single time. They were fully aware of her behaviour and yet no support was offered to me. Same with friends.

The trial being exploited by the media worries me. Having a desensitized, exhausted and misinformed public, is terrible for victims and survivors that don't have the resources to defend themselves. Not only it worries me that abusers would use similar tactics to silence them, it worries me that an uncaring public is going to further isolate and stigmatize them. Which leaves them vulnerable to their abuser.

"when I look at the judgements, when I look at the evidence, when I look at everything, my conscious is clear about where I stand" when you said that it just resonated with me because the whole reason I started obsessively watching the trial is because I felt like I was automatically "siding with Johnny" as the default due to the opinions of those around me. And I realized that I couldn't "side with Johnny" and have a clear conscious. This case has brought my internalized misogyny to the forefront. Thank you for making this video!

This case really is the perfect example of white male (celebrity) privilege to me because it seems like Johnny’s fans could look at the exact same behavior or piece of evidence and form the polar opposite opinion depending on whether it was presented by Johnny or Amber’s team. (For example, eating/smiling on the stand, drawing pictures, violent texts about the other, violence against inanimate objects, etc) The bias seems almost purposefully obtuse.

I was starting to feel crazy because I believe Amber Heard too and was thinking I was the only one. Princess seriously does not miss with the insightful and compassionate commentary.

As a cis het male who has suffered physical abuse by female partners, thank you for making this video. It's so weird seeing all of this play out in a court setting, a gross mess all around it seems from the outside, but I honestly couldn't stomach it. Seeing the terrible memes about amber honestly makes it worse than if they'd just ignored Johnny Depp completely. He's a garbage human. Again thanks for the content and being strong enough to cover and address all of this publicly. As a new father, I'm so thankful I have a place I can show my daughter for insightful, intelligent and thoughtful content. Stay strong comrad

Damn, this one really made me think about how I've consumed the trial. And you're absolutely right...I tend to think of myself as above creating a demand for misogynist content because I was a child when Brittany, Pam Anderson, Lorena, Monica Lewinski ect were huge news and after seeing how destructive those narratives were "I would never" contribute, but I've been doing it with a smile for 6 weeks straight.

Thank you so much for everything you’ve done surrounding this case because I’m glad I’m not the only one disgusted by how the public has treated Amber Heard. I don’t care who you believe in this trial, the way she has been dragged and harassed on social media is awful. No one deserves to be named called, get death threats or have their trauma exploited and turned into profit. For all the people who are falling over themselves to yell about the injustices experienced by Brittney Spears this trial shows that nothing has changed.

15:10 in Aboriginal Australian culture, it's extremely rude to make direct eye contact, especially with an authority figure. Because of this and how society figures it to be a sign of dishonesty, young Aboriginal people are far more likely to get arrested or found guilty, even when they're innocent, because of a minor cultural difference about eye contact. Also battered people don't make eye contact- speaking from personal experience.

I’m ashamed to say I started watching the case on the “pro-Johnny” train. It felt like I was being a “good woke person” by acknowledging that some women lie, and some men get abused by women. It took videos and tweets from you and others for me to wake up (guess I wasn’t that “woke” after all, lol). I want to thank you for posting this. I know most people don’t WANT to be consuming so much content on the case, but voices like yours highlighting all of this is was really needed for me to see my misogyny and course correct. You’re absolutely right that the world has hit its new challenge: believing and supporting “unlikeable” victims. I think a bit component of it too, is that use left wing millennials are faced with our first “I really don’t want this celebrity to be bad” case? Like for Weinstein and Kevin’s Spacey and Woody Allen, it felt easier to “stop liking them” and take a stand against them…. But with Johnny Depp it’s so much harder. And I think people aren’t seeing their bias coming into it.

Also, I'm so glad you talked about body language analysis. It is one of the most truly frightening things to have come out of the true crime community in my opinion. It's bringing back the Salem Witch trials - If she floats, she's a witch, if she sinks, she's truthful. Except now, it's "if her eyes dart to the left instead of to the right, she's lying" or "the blink rate is too high according to my stupid chart that I made up" or "Oh he used past tense instead of present tense, therefore he's a LIAR!" Or "she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand instead of her palm which reminds me of the old movies where the damsel in distress puts the back of her hand on her forehead and swoons so she's being overdramatic and acting" (I swear to God I actually saw that last one). Court TV, CNN, legal experts actually rely on this OBVIOUS pseudoscience. What scares me is the amount of people who watch this stuff and think it's reliable and that they can do it too. Imagine how fucked we all are if jurors on criminal cases start trying to analyze a defendant's blink rate, or find them suspicious for using the word "embarrassed instead of ashamed" (something people said about Amber) and decide they're lying based on that instead of relying on the freaking evidence! It's the most obvious example of confirmation bias I have ever seen and I have unfortunately watched enough of those videos to see how blatant that is. On cases where the public already hate the person they're analyzing (e.g. Casey Anthony), the hosts will take body language cues that in their other videos they said points to truth telling and claim it shows she's lying or being overdramatic. I'm not saying I believe Casey Anthony but they're just taking a normal facial expression or wave of the hand and assigning it a meaning that they wouldn't give to the same facial expression on anybody else.

As a male survivor of child sexual assault that took decades to realize what has happened to me, you're completely correct in everything you said about men's reactions. I even used the same facts about Crews and Frasure when commenting on a meme in a "gaming" group, responding to the poster and a mod saying "maybe people will listen to men if we make a hashtag amberTURD". Like dudes, you ain't listen when these men literally came forward saying me too, and they were *accepted into* the largely female movement. The WOMEN believed them more than these guys, and they want to make a joke hashtag to "bring awareness". Fucking toxic. Depp losing in the UK is especially telling that he's scraping to piece together the career he destroyed himself.

still can't thank you enough, my love 💗💚

no but the amount of sexism about this case, people calling her the b-word and all sorts of shit, using this case as a way to be misogynistic like it's okay because in the court of public opinon she's a bad person

27:09 I was groomed at 14, and in the attempt of speaking out I was silenced because they were a popular figure and still are today. Your words echo exactly the same sentiment; the silencing works. No amount of money could ever make me go again through the harassment I received for attempting to call attention to my abuser.

This whole trial theater feels like watching people who have never experienced violence pointing at contextless clips of Heard and saying "that's not how I would act in this situation therefore she is lying." And I keep seeing people saying Depp is innocent because he's laughing and rolling his eyes - how is that a "normal" reaction to this?? It makes me completely afraid to comment on it because I feel obligated to reveal my own past to back up my stance and then I open myself up to being accused of being biased :/

Loved this. Love you ❤️

I recently learned from a therapist that a lot of women watch true crime to learn how to survive. Kind of a “what could i do differently to not get killed”. Not only that its also victims of trauma. We are merely trying to survive. It’s like when we talk about fight or flight as responses to threats, only they miss one. Freeze. It’s fight, flight or freeze. Woman watch true crime for many reasons but a lot of times its to see what they did wrong when they were attacked, what they can do next time something happens because they know they live in a world where women are often victims and not often believed. What I hated about the entire trial is that they brought in his previous partners who he “didn’t” abuse as character witnesses but just because he didn’t abuse them (or they didn’t recognize it as abuse because this happens too) that he couldn’t have abused a subsequent partner. That’s like saying “well he didn’t murder his first wife so why would be murder his second”. It’s asinine logic.

100% agree with your point about people acting like they care about men being abused but not showing up in any context other than this. My ex was extremely abusive and actually tried to kill me, and I've since decided to pursue a career in victim advocacy. It's so infuriating to see people that I care about buy into JD's story and talk shit on victims. A friend of mine was trying to discredit Amber's evidence, and I told her that realistically, given what she was saying, she wouldn't have believed me about the abuse that I suffered prior to the final incident of it based on the evidence I had. She literally stopped talking to me after that. It is so triggering seeing all of this play out, and I want to let everyone know that if you've publicly sided with JD and/or disparaged Amber Heard, victims in your life see you and they will remember that you are not a safe person.