Thank You for this and unfortunately this is all about mine and my husband's relationship. I understand what your saying but it's easier said then done. You get to a point where you don't know who you are I've turned into someone I don't know due to my husband's drinking. I've tried so dam hard. Last month he went thru DTs. They sedated him and he was in bad shape. After 8 days in the hospital he came home stayed sober for 2 weeks. And here we go again drunk. Just don't know when enough is enough. By the way I don't drink so I see everything I smell everything and it's a nightmare. Thank You sorry this is long
Hey Amber, thanks for your advice over the years…I’ve given up on my sister sooo many times…she’s now 37 days crack free in treatment!!!😀 You’ve been a big help thx
I've named my monster mouth Esther. No matter what happens, she tries to tell me that it would be a good idea for me to drink, just this one time. I can stop again tomorrow.
Thank you for sharing so much of the content that you produce, for free. Your insight and advice is incredibly helpful! I’m grateful so grateful for your channel. God bless you and yours, Amber! 🤍
My issue right now is "he is only doing good because he has legal issues". My husband can stay sober when there are legal repercussions. The minute the interlock goes away, or no urine tests, doesn't have to report to court, he starts drinking again. Once again, as each restriction is lifted i get more anxious and start running all of these thoughts in my head.
Why do they continue to say you don't love them or they don't feel loved? I mean they can have just done horrible things that hurt you and they don't acknowledge how that might just be why you don't show a ton of love. Plus you've changed drastically how you interact and you're overlooking all kinds of crazy bad behavior and being as kind as possible and as encouraging but they don't see it or acknowledge it.
I can relate to you, my boyfriend was at rehab during 3 months he came back and it looks like he expected me to chase after him. He was just saying that I could call him if I wanted, I could come to see him if I wanted but when I asked if he wanted to actually see me he was ignoring my messages till the point that he blocked me absolutely everywhere after I asked through messages what was happening and what did he want me to do at that point… He just blocked me as if I had done something wrong and I was really supportive and patient, I was waiting for him for 3 months and my life has been put on hold I was missing him so much only realize that he got back and decided to remove me from his life without any explanation… Addicts are really damaging other people!! hell why can’t he even communicate like an adult if he spent 3 months at rehab and should be able to look inward???
Omg you sound same as me it's so so hard to deal with.my partner says that to me that my priorities are other people (like family) and that he doesn't feel loved.
This is so helpful and I take a lot of this in and in consideration when dealing with my partner who is a addict I know he's a good person and loving etc etc .when he turns into something else when using sometimes he is horrible to me says some really nasty things .that is what I struggle with
Hi Amber,, With me it was : ( Starting with a confident successful , capable , bright , 37 yo woman ) the act , the persona and behaviour presented , their true self ? ??? seeing through the veil , with my assumptions , my trust , my perception mentality driven by my positive thinking,, visible clues ignored, or forced away,, I had to start thinking backwards and upside down, what was presented 🎁 was not reality. Her thoughts were corrupted and her destination ,, down a misaligned path , motivated by addiction ,, she needed to turn back . At the point of the path where I could see it clearly , was also the point where communication became difficult. As the path branched sharply.
Do we somehow sabotage the addicts recovery when we think these thoughts? Or do the thoughts affect our behavior just enough to trigger them and drive them right back to drinking?
After years of it and all the damage they cause. Mentally physically and everything else to you not just themselves RUN!!!! You never chose this ! I’m finished with excuses and damaging my health mentally and physically and wasting every previous day RUN! Can only put up with so much ! Too many excuses excuse after excuse after excuse! Might be trying under surface best thing they can do is go away and do it leave the none alcoholic in peace!
Hi Amber ! I dont know if youll read my comment but i just wanted to tell you/ your team that I’ve experienced quiet a traumatic year, on top of that my best friend broke up with me and his addiction came to light in one of the hardest times of my life . Your videos have helped me understand him and have empathy for what he is going through and although i feel that i cant help him at this point, your videos have helped me manage my emotions and sadness. Thank you so much. ❤️🩹
